a string of pearls of wisdom
thoughts from another time...
“I really did see… Daddy kissing Santa underneath the plastic mistletoe”
“What the hell was that?”
“I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me...”
“Pigeonholes are fine... for pigeons”
“BANG!!!!!!!!!!”
“Patients and pornography… what is the connection?”
“I am The Divine David and I have my fingers in my pockets, because it’s nippy”
“Can I just give you a word of advice? There’s more to life than buttering bits of bread”
“If any of you feel sick will you please do it over the side of the bus as I don’t want to be cleaning up sick when you’ve left… ok?”
“In nature the bee has the honeycomb, we humans, well we have piles of cars!”
“The uniforms, the constant bedridden-ness, the implements of surgery, many of them of an… exploratory nature, all this conspires to make the hospital a hotbed of thwarted sexuality”
“I don’t think I’ll ever come back to earth, this really is my last time here”
“This tree is very famous, it’s rumoured that Princess Margaret, yes Princess Margaret, do you know Princess Margaret? she used to live in that tree”
“I believe that we all live in the Garden of Eden”
(On shop assistants)
“Some of them live lives far
worse than any donkey”
"Watch the waiter and the waitress in the pizza store, look at their eight inch tongue as it darts out”
“And the sea created… The Divine David”
"beautiful, smashed up vehicles"
"It’s all over"
"the modern hospital has a very sexy vibe"
"why do people always have to take their clothes off... hmmm?"
"anybody who survives is taking revenge"
(to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
"we wish you a broken sofa... and mould on your bread"
"As night falls on many British beaches people wend their way to try and find the mouth of sewage outlet pipes... and they feed"
"Reality... who needs it? What is it?"
"dodgems, rollercoaster, big dipper, you name it, I know, for I am from the seaside, oh yes"