Cash for Codgers and other health care exaggerations
Topic: Pure Satire
Yesterday, Roger Randel sent me this wonderful spoof on the hype that is being used against health care reform. It's called "Cash for Codgers." Here it is:
CASH FOR CODGERS
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate
program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major
announcement at a joint news conference later this week.
I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named "CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this...
Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child
will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale.
Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such
as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed
weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato
chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection.
This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to
keep other codgers in repair.
Remember you heard it here first.
And of course, we ALL know that if Congress enacts a health care reform package that threatens insurance company profits in ANY way, Iran will instantly invade California and a nuclear accident will eat New York!
Posted by ian_j_site2
at 12:32 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 25 August 2009 12:35 AM EDT