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Welcome to Uthman's page can a parent stop you from Marring a religious man for non religious reasons?

This week's Issue.......can a parent stop you from Marring a religious man for non religious reasons?  In light of the Holy Quran and Sahih Hadith and in the Opinions of the great scholars....
HADITH #1:

Can your parents stop you from marrying a religious man?
From Quran
(Al - Baqarah (2):170)
"When it is said to them: Follow what Allah has sent down, they say: No! We shall follow what we found our fathers following. (What!) Even though their fathers did not understand anything nor were they guided?"
(Luqmaan (31):14-15).
"And We have enjoined on a man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks to Me and to your parents - unto Me is the final Destination. But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others, that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly."
From Hadith.......
Ibn Hibban has said this is AUTHENTIC (SAHIH) also in the bookmishkat-ul-masabih
Sha'bi (RAA) reports that Rasulullah(SAW) said " he who marries his  daughter with a wicked man, has SEVERED the ties of relationship with her." Tafseer from Maulana M. Tufail Zaigham says "There for it is not lawful for a Muslim to do an evil to his daughter through an agreement of her marriage with a wicked (non religious) man who has abandoned to say his prayers, keep his fast or pay zakah etc.. and if he does he is no longer her father and has SEVERED his ties of relations with her."
Imaam Ahmad and Al-Albani's as Saheehah (179)
The Prophet (SAW) said: "There is no obedience to the created if it means disobedience to the Creator." (Saheeh - Narrated by Imraan ibn Husain & collected in Musnad Ahmad. Authenticated is al-Albani's as Saheehah (179)
Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim
The Prophet (SAW) said "Obedience is in what is good and right."  (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Agreed upon by Tirmidhi and ibn Majah
The holy Prophet (SAW) said "If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulations in the land and great evil."  (Agreed upon by Tirmidhi and ibn Majah)
Saheeh Muslim (vol 4)
Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas. He said: "I was very faithful to my mother. When I embraced Islam, she said to me: "What is this I notice in you? Leave this Religion of yours or I will refuse to eat or drink until I die." People started to blame me, saying 'O killer of your mother.' I told my mother not to continue as I would never leave me Religion. She passed a day without food or drink and suffered as a result of that. Another day passed and her suffering increased. The third day was very hard for her. On seeing this I said, "O my mother, you know that I will not leave my Religion, even if you had a hundred souls each suffering death. So eat if you wish and obstain from eating if you wish." So she finally took some food" ( Narrated by Mus'ab ibn Sa'd & collected in Saheeh Muslim (vol 4)
Truly this is an excellent example of the conviction and firmness which these Companions had. Despite his mother's threatening stance, Sa'd did not waver for a moment and made it clear to his mother that her threats would come to no avail. As a result of this trial which Sa'd encountered, Allah revealed some ayaat in the Qur'an for him. (As mentioned in the Tafseer of at-Tabaree, Qurtubee, and Ibn Katheer)
He said what means: "And We have enjoined on a man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks to Me and to your parents - unto Me is the final Destination. But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others, that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly." (Luqmaan (31):14-15).
Here, Allah makes clear that kindness and obedience must be shown towards parents, but that they must not be obeyed in that which constitutes disobedience to Allah. Nonetheless, they should still behave well towards them. Therefore even under the most strained of circumstances, the sons and daughters must do their best to behave kindly with them and not allow the situation to get the better of them.
The Prophet (SAW) said: "There is no obedience to the created if it means disobedience to the Creator." (Saheeh - Narrated by Imraan ibn Husain & collected in Musnad Ahmad. Authenticated is al-Albani's as Saheehah (179)
From Great Scholars..........
Ibn Al Quayyim (RAA)
said, `The virgin, sane, mature girl, her father has no right to dispose of any of her wealth without her consent. How can he give her in marriage to someone, who is most hated by her, against her will and make her a prisoner in his house?
Sheikh Aka b Hamza (RAA)
being asked with regard to a woman of the Shaf'i school of thought who is a virgin and adult, who had married herself to a man of the Hanafi school, without the permission of her father, who was dissatisfied and had repudiated the marriage, whether such marriage is valid? He replied in the affirmative, and that it would have been equally valid if she had married herself to a man of her own school meaning in Hanafi and in Shaf'i schools of thought it is perfectly OK).'
Hanafi oppinion
In the book of "Digest of Islamic Law" by Neil B. E. Baillie, of the Hanafi Doctrine. It says: `The marriage entered into by a free woman who is sane adult without a guardian is quite operative according to Abu Hanifa and Abu Yusuf as stated in the Zahir Ar Riwaya (the expression of the text)
Sahikh Abdul Aziz Bin Bazz One of the greatest scholars of the world and President of the General Presidency of Islamic Research, Ifta, Call and Propagation in Saudi Arabia 'head Mufti of saudia'.)
Question: I am seeking a solution to my problem. I am twenty-four years old. A young man proposed to me. He has finished college. He is from a religious family.   However, when my mother came to realize that he was from a religious family, she became harsh against him and my father. She swore that such a marriage would never take place in anyway. My father desperately tried to persuade her, but to no avail. Do I have the right to seek the Law to intervene in this matter?
Response: If the matter is as you have mentioned in your question, then your mother has no right to make any objection. Indeed, such a stance is forbidden. You are not obliged to obey your mother in matter. This is because the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"Obedience is in what is good and right."(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Rejecting a suitable proposal is not from what is good and right. In fact, it has been narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulations in the land and great evil."(Agreed upon by Tirmidhi and ibn Majah)
If you have need to take your matter to a court of law, you would not be wrong in doing so.
Mufti Muhammed Usman (One of the top Muftis in Pakistan)
Dar-ul-Ifta Jamia Binoria Pakistan.
Question : There is a girl who is very religious but her parents don't even
pray!  They discourage her from praying and wearing hijab.  Now she wants
to marry a religious man who will let her practice Islam freely but her
parents wont let her marry anyone who is religious and want her to marry
nonreligious men who don't even pray and they might not even let her pray.  So in this situation what should she do? There is one religious brother who wants to marry her but the father won't let them and the father will not let herpractice Islam in peace or let her marry someone that does.  What is the
best thing to do in this situation? She is determined not to marry a man who
doesn't practice Islam and her father is determined not to let her marry anyone who
is religious, should she not marry for the rest of her life?
The answer of your question is as follows:
It is to be known that a non religious sinful and debauched person is not
alike (kafoo) a virtuous lady. On this basis she has the right to refuse
that proposal. Hence her parents should seek a pious, religious and
righteous person to marry her daughter. They should refrain from this
proposal.
    However a sensible and adult lady can celebrate her Nikah (marriage) to
a man of equal status (in religion, education, standard etc.) with
Mehr-e-Masal (resembling Mehr) without the permission of her parents.  No one
has the right to cancel this Nikah. Consequently in this condition the said
lady first should try to prepare her parents to seek some good proposal of
pious and religious person. Inspite of that if parents aren't ready then the
said lady has the right to marry (celebrate the Nikah) with some pious and
virtuous person in Kafoo.
    (ref: Al-Hidayah, vol. 2 pages 313-314)<--book of Shariyya
After that it should be cleared that to perform Namaz, to observe purdah
(veil) and other Ahkam (duties) of Shari'ah are necessary to observe. It is
indispensable. Contrary to this to obey anyone is not lawful.
Therefore, the said lady should observe the Shari'ah orders. It is not
correct to allow concession in it or obey to others.
Wallahu-A'lam
Mufti Muhammed Usman
Dar-ul-Ifta Jamia Binoria Pakistan.

Can you be forced to marry?
Sahikh Abdul Aziz Bin Bazz
Question: Is it allowed for a father to force his daughter to marry a specific man that she does not want to many?
Response: Neither the father nor anyone other than the father may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not want to many. In fact, her permission must be sought. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
"The non-virgin [without a husband] must not be married until she is consulted. A virgin must not be married until her permission is sought." They said, "O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) how is her permission given?" He said, "By her being silent." Another narration states, "Her silence is her permission." Yet a third narration states, "A virgin's father seeks her permission and her permission is her remaining silent."{Al-Bukhari, Muslim}
The father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Similarly, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon all of them. If one is married without permission, then the marriage is not valid. This is because one of the conditions of the marriage is that both partners accept the marriage. If she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is not valid.

Note from the Author:  So to answer the Question, can your parents stop you from marrying a religious man? NO! As RASULULLAH(SAW) said "If one whose religion and character pleases you proposes to you, you should marry him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulations in the land and great evil.  "(Agreed upon by Tirmidhi and ibn Majah) And can you disobey your parents to Marry a religious Husband.  YES as Rasulullah(SAW) said  "Obedience is in what is good and right.  "(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)  And to refuse a religious man because he is not the same race or social class as you is AGAINST the teachings of our beloved prophet and is not good and right, so we have to disobey our parents if it comes to that.  This is from the words of RASULULLAH(SAW) so if anyone has objections bring your proofs from Quran and Hadith or go complain to Rasulullah(SAW)!
May ALLAH (SWT) guide us all to the right path.

 Other related sites....
click on them........
OBEDIENCE To Parents VS. Obedience to Allah

MARRIAGE: WHAT YOU OUGHT TO KNOW