"A (slightly) Monumental Decision..."
        by Jerry D. Withers (Furrball T. Cat) (jwithers@tcfn.org) 

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(NOTE: This particular story is not in keeping with classic TTA tradition. In
other words, it ain't necessarily funny. But then again, it ain't necessarily
supposed to be, either. So if you want wall-to-wall yuks, you'll have to look
elsewhere. Let The Show Begin... )
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                                      -0-

     'A year ago,' she told herself, 'I would never have dreamed of doing
THIS... ' A year ago, she had made so many other plans; chief among them being
attending Perfecto Prep for what would have been her senior year. She thought
of the letter she'd received a year ago that pretty much dashed those hopes,
and flushed them down the ol' porcelain subway like so much... She didn't want
to think about it.
     The more she did, the madder she got. Madder at Perfecto for having the
gall to pull something like this, but mainly mad at herself for not having the
strength to fight back, or to tell her mom, Rhonda, about it. It was keeping
the truth from her mom that really nagged at her conscience, and that
surprised as well as angered her, for up until that time, she had forgotten
that she'd even HAD a conscience! She remembered how hurt Rhonda was when
she... when she... why couldn't she just admit it to herself? She _lied_ to
her mother... there, she admitted it, but it brought her no comfort; mainly
because, as yet, there was no one else to admit it to. She REALLY hated
herself for that. 'Darn this conscience thing, anyway!' she thought. And it
had seemed so easy, telling her mom that she'd decided to take a year's   
sabbatical from Perfecto. But it she'd thought that she was just going to sit
back and vegetate for a year, then she was, as they say (whoever THEY are), in
for a surprise.
     Goodness knows, things hadn't been all that easy, what with Rhonda
working in real estate, and nobody to look after her kid sister, Roberta. She
paused, and wiped a runaway tear from her cheek. Times like this, she really
missed having her father to talk to... but, she had to face the facts. He was
dead, and no amount of crying would ever bring him back...
     So, it was sort of providential that things had happened when they did.
It was agreed that she would help out with the housework and look after
Roberta... She smiled. Here she was, almost a grown young woman, and up until
a year ago, the most important concerns in her life had all been labelled
"preppie". "Boy, what a difference a year makes," she told herself. After all,
there were still some things you _couldn't_ learn in a classroom, even if it
WAS Perfecto Prep's.
     The biggest -- or littlest -- shock was getting reacquainted with her
little sister. Up until last year, she'd only seen her maybe a month or two a
year (if she was unlucky, she'd told her friends...) She made a mental note to
apologize to her for that remark, although she realized, the more she thought
about it, that Roberta would've considered it no big deal. Five-year-olds were
funny that way; more open, and more forgiving than... than guilt-ridden 19-
year-olds, she noted. And a heckuvva lot more honest; after all, when you're
five, you're not out to impress anybody.
     That's what she loved the most about her kid sis; her ability to hit the
nail on the head with a quip that sent most grown-ups screaming in terror from
her presence! And Roberta did it the way all little kids with any smarts did,
without malice -- if, for instance, she thought you were a jerk, she'd come
right out and TELL you so, and then blithely announce that she had to go to
the 'bafroom', whether she needed to or not! She prayed that instead of
Roberta growing up to be just like her, that the situation could somehow be
reversed, although she knew that THAT would never happen.
     She had never been to this part of Acme Acres before, although she'd seen
it many times, and so, recognized it immediately. She gazed in awe upon seeing
it for the first time, close-up and personal (or whatever the phrase was). She
didn't know what she was afraid of -- she thought it was silly of her to even
BE afraid; but she couldn't help feeling that she was trespassing on sacred
territory, that _she_ had no right to be _here_, at the entrance to this
palatial estate, and that the best thing would be to turn around, go home, and
forget all about it...
     She steeled her resolve. If she was ever going to set things right, she
had to do it here, and now, although she was well aware of the fact that if
she succeeded in accomplishing even _this_ much, that life as she knew it
would never be the same for her again, for as long as she lived.
     She cautiously strolled the grounds, past the ornate fountains and the
well-trimmed, magnificently sculptured landscaping, until she reached her
objective... a hole in the ground. If it were anybody else that lived here,
she would've questioned their sanity. If it only were_... She noticed a
doorbell, mounted in a nearby post that was almost as tall as she was. She
smiled at the absurdity of such a thing, and that relaxed her. Taking a deep
breath, she pushed the button, and heard, instead of the usual 'buzz' or
'ding-dong!', a sliding steel guitar chord, and a series of chimes playing
"Merrily We Roll Along". She expected no less.
     The smooth sounds of a hydraulic lift could be heard, and she stepped
away from the hole, almost respectfully, as a pair of gray and pink rabbit
ears emerged, attached to THE most famous rabbit in all of filmdom. "Yaiss?"
Bugs Bunny asked, smiling -- albeit a bit surprised to see _her_ here.
"Rhubella? Rhubella Rat? What can I do for you, kid?"
     "Mr. Bunny," she started demurely, but he raised a gloved paw to stop
her.
     "Please, call me 'Bugs'," he smiled. "Everyone else does."
     A wave of relief swept over Rhubella at that moment. "Okay... Bugs... I
need your opinion on something... it's sort of... well, personal..."
     "Say no more, kiddo, come in..."

                                      -0-

     Rhubella was startled to learn that, below ground, Bugs Bunny preferred
to live as simply as any other rabbit... quite a contrast to the above-ground
surroundings. ('But then again,' she told herself, 'Bugs is NOT any other
rabbit!')
     "Eh," he said, munching on a carrot, "Warner Brudders t'inks I should
have all the amenities of bein' a film legend. As you can see, we sorta
compromised." He laughed, and Rhubella felt at ease within seconds. This was
no so-called 'film legend'; rather, he was just like your oldest and most
trusted friend. And any second, she'd need just that. He continued. "But I'm
sure you ain't here to write a story for 'Acme Heritage'... for one thing, I
notice ya haven't been rearrangin' my foiniture! Ask away, Rhubella..."     
     She pulled a letter from her purse and, almost hesitantly, handed it to
him. "I've never shown this to anybody... not even my mom..." Bugs noticed
that she'd bowed her head and adopted a quiet tone of voice. He opened the
letter curiously, and read it to himself. Out of the corner of her eye,
Rhubella tried to gauge his reaction... which fell somewhere between growing
concern and righteous anger!
     The humor had disappeared from his voice completely, to be replaced with
a grim tone. "Hmmmmm... I'd hoid stories dat Perfecto had pulled somethin'
like dis, but until now, I never woulda believed it..."
     Ruby sighed. "Believe it, Bugs, because they did it!"
     Bugs continued to stare at the letter. "But... raisin' dere tuition
175%? Dat doesn't make any sense! What did dey expect to do wid it... buy
diamond saddles for dere polo ponies?!?"
     "For starters, yes..."
     Bugs noticed the date. "But, Ruby, dis letter was dated last year. Why
bring it to my attention now?" She was starting to cry... something he never
thought he'd see. He handed her a box of tissues.
     "Well, Bugs," she sniffed, wiping her eyes, "what they did put my whole
_life_ on hold! I had to do something I never thought I would do..."
     "Ya dropped out, huh, kid?" Ruby nodded her head slowly, and burst into
tears again.
     "I told my mother I'd decided to take a year off... Bugs, I feel
terrible, and I don't know what to do..." Bugs knew that most of Perfecto's
students were capable of every trick in the book. (However, he was capable of
just as many, AND the table of contents, to boot!) To his credit, he also knew
when a student was genuinely in trouble... although this was the first time he
could EVER remember a student from Perfecto seeking his help.
     "Well, Rhubella," he finally said, after giving the matter the proverbial
Great Deal Of Thought, "I take it you'd like to finish yer education, but wit'
Perfecto's tuition da way it is, it's too much for ya to handle, am I right?"
She nodded silently. He knew the answer to the next question before he even
asked it. "Okay, kid... lemme ask ya, have ya ever considered transferrin' to
anudder school?"
     Her lower lip quivered. THIS was it... "If it's all right with you, I'd
like to try out for Acme Loo..."
     "Ruby," he smiled, cautioning her at the same time, "ya don't 'try out'
for Acme; ya either wanna enroll or you don't, simple as dat... but I gotta
warn ya in advance, kiddo, I _don't_ play favorites."
     "I know, sir..."
     "Bugs, remember?"
     "Bugs..."
     "And I'll expect ya to apply yourself... of course, as I recall, rumor
has it you did plenty o' dat at Perfecto, right?"
     'How did he know?' she asked herself. "I guess I always DID stand out
from the rest of the crowd in that regard," she smiled.
     "Well, around Acme, you can be PROUD of bein' a good student," he said,
before turning to a serious matter. "Er, have ya given any t'ought to what
might happen if ya _do_ decide to transfer?"
     Ruby frowned. "If you mean, am I worried about what my old friends might
do? Absolutely, Bugs! To tell the truth, I'm TERRIFIED that they'll find out!
They tend to play rough, if you know what I mean..."
     "Yeah, I know," Bugs sighed, "and dat's why I want you to t'ink long and
hard about dis. I know finishin' yer schoolin' is important to ya, and it
SHOULD be; but if it interferes wit' yer poisonal safety..."
     "Bugs, I HAVE thought about it, and there's nothing anybody can say or do
to make me change my mind!" He noticed a fierce determination in her voice and
eyes that wasn't there when she first arrived. He knew she understood full
well the implications of what she was about to get into, and nothing was going
to deter her. "And if anybody wants to kick the carpfung out of me for doing
this, well, let them take their best shot!"
     "Eh, no need to go DAT far, Ruby!"
     "How far do you think I _should_ go?"
     "No further than Pasadena..."
     Ruby laughed out loud for the first time that day. "I wondered when we
were going to get a halfway decent JOKE around here!"
     "Really?" Bugs countered. "I'm _still_ wonderin'..."

                                      -0-

     It was an altogether different Rhubella Rat that left Bugs and headed
home. They agreed that it would be best if the news of her transfer were kept
just between them, for the time being. Bugs thought that maybe -- just MAYBE
-- she was pushing her luck; but that remained to be seen.
     As for Rhubella, the first thing she did when she got home that night was
to inform her mother that she had decided to return to school. And the last
thing she did that night, to use an old expression, was to sleep the sleep of
the just.
     After all, it was going to be an interesting year, and she needed all the
rest she could get...

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(C) August 18, 1996 by Jerry D. Withers. Revised version (v1.1) (C) February
25, 2000 by same. All characters (C) 1996 Warner Bros./Amblin. This story is
not intended to infringe on any such copyrights. The characters of "Rhonda
Rat" and "Roberta Rat" are created by me.
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This story has not yet been perforated.
      
Thanks to Kevin for posting this, and the Tri-Cities Free Net for giving me
the webspace to do it with. I'd really appreciate hearing from you, the
readers. E-mail me at: jwithers@tcfn.org.
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