"PARALLELS" by Jerry D. Withers (Furrball T. Cat) (jwithers@tcfn.org) Volume 3: "The Rat Stuff" v1.2 (Revised) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Catastrophe Coyote felt uneasy as he locked up his lab in Perfecto Plaza... uneasy about a lot of things. And he didn't have the slightest idea why. After all, he was a scientist; and scientists, for the most part, like to put their trust in logic and cold hard facts, not gut emotions. Yet, for all the logic and cold hard facts that told him everything was finally going to be all right, that Perfecto Plaza was finally safe, that maybe - just maybe - Ukariah Bunny would win the election by a landslide; and, most importantly, that Rebecca was safely hidden away in an otherwise obscure section of the tooniverse called "Acme Acres"; for all that, his gut emotions told him that they hadn't even seen the worst of things yet. And no matter how hard he tried to shrug it off, the feeling just wouldn't go away. It followed him all the way back to his high-tech home, located deep inside a cave in the Perfecto Desert. "Maybe I'm having an anxiety attack," he said out loud, to nobody in particular. "...Naaah, that's not it; besides, I've never had an anxiety attack in my life." He reached out and touched the digital lock that safely hid his abode from the outside world. And got the bejabbers shocked out of him. "EEEEYOWCH!!" he shrieked. THAT had never happened before! Slowly, the cave wall that doubled as a sliding door opened... and Catastrophe's jaw dropped. The place was a mess. It hadn't been like that this morning; he was sure of it. No wonder he'd nearly been electrocuted, he thought; whoever had ransacked the place had more than likely short-circuited his lock... and _that's_ when the odor hit his nostrils. He couldn't place it, at first, but eventually, he went into sensory overload and identified it. It was a rather pungent smell, he thought. Somewhere between the scent of death itself, and... and... spaghetti sauce? "It _can't_ be," he whispered. "I'm afraid it CAN," another voice hissed, "and it IS." Catastrophe gulped in fear, and turned around, looking for the source of that voice he knew and loathed so well. "Hey, this isn't funny," Catastrophe shouted. "You're right, it isn't... oh, by the way, don't bother looking for me. I'm not here right now..." With mounting horror, Catastrophe realized the voice was coming from his answering machine. "... so I've left this little message for you. At the sound of the beeps, die! Oh, and have a nice day... what little's left of it!" Catastrophe made a mad dash towards the machine, but just as he reached it, he heard, "Beep Beep!". The explosion practically blew the cave to Kingdom Come. From a safe distance, HE watched through a pair of binoculars and smiled. 'One down, others to go,' he thought; then, satisfied with his handiwork, disappeared. -0- Barbara Anne Bunny (no relation to Babs!) was walking through the park with Ukariah when her ears perked up. "Did you hear that?" "Sonic boom, babe, don't worry about it," Uke assured her nonchalantly. "Shouldn't there be _airplanes_ to go along with that, Mr. Casual?" she challenged him. Ukariah froze. "NOW we should worry!" He trained his ears towards the fading direction of that sound. "I think it came from... the desert." Barb looked horrified. "Catastrophe?" "Let's _move_ it!" he answered, and the two rabbits made tracks towards the desert, both afraid of what they might discover... -0- Rebecca Rat was pacing back and forth outside Judge Whopper's chambers. Frankly, she was making everybody else more than a little nervous. "Becky, will you slow down?" Babs asked her. "I'm sorry, Babs," she replied. "I don't know why I'm so jumpy..." "Leave the jumpy stuff to Michigan J. Frog," Buster advised her playfully. "But I can understand why you're nervous; after all, it isn't everyday you get yourself a new family." He patted her on the shoulder. "Congratulations, kid." "Thanks, Buster." The door to the Judge's chambers opened, and Ruby peered out. She looked just as apprehensive as Becky did, but no less happy about it, either. "Hey, we're waiting for you," she paused meaningfully, "...Sis!" "Say," Plucky wondered aloud, "what does she need all of us for, anyway? I thought she was just gonna sign a document or two, and that'd be that." "Like, get a clue, Plucko," Shirley said. "I think we're here for moral support, or some junk!" "Oh, is _that_ it? I thought we were here to sing some background vocals or something." And with that non sequitur out of the way, the toons filed into the chambers of the Acme Acres Courthouse to witness perhaps one of the most important pieces of personal history since Fifi became an American citizen. -0- Alex Redolence, the owner of Acme Acres, was in his library in his phenomenal, resplendent, palatial (well, okay, it was all right...) home located high above the Lost Woods of Acme Acres, reading some book or other, when he felt a cold chill run through him. Alex had never had that sensation before; at least, not as far back as he could remember, but he did know that he felt most uncomfortable. He put the book down, and dashed out of the library to find The Deed, which at that moment, was coming in. "Trouble, Master Alex?" "I... I'm not really sure. Tell me, does it seem cold in here to you?" "Not that _I'd_ notice," smiled the Deed. "Alex, are you feeling ill?" "Me? Are you kidding? Not since the last time I had that five-alarm chili. Besides, I've never even had as much as a headache... unless, of course, you count Plucky." He smiled briefly... but only briefly. "No, I'm feeling perfectly fit, except for that chill." Suddenly, his tail began twitching uncontrollably. "Alex?" The Deed was nervous; but not as nervous as Alex was at that moment. "There's going to be trouble," the skunk replied cryptically. "And not just in Acme Acres... I can feel it!" "Well, if anybody could, you can," said the Deed half-jokingly. Alex wasn't laughing. In fact, he was starting to turn pale... he'd never done _that_ before, either. "This is serious... I've got to find... oh, what _is_ her name?" "Who, master... Fifi?" "NO!" Alex snapped. "The newcomer from Perfecto Plaza." "You mean Rebecca?" The Deed reminded him. "Is it important?" Alex spoke in hushed, measured tones. "Only to the future of Acme Acres _and_ Perfecto Plaza, that's all." The Deed understood perfectly. "I believe you'll find her at the district courthouse, Alex. Judge Whopper's chambers." Alex looked surprised. "Judge Whopper? THAT hamburger?" A chorus of groans rang throughout the palace, but a quick turn of his head and a raised eyebrow was enough to silence it. "Why?" "As near as I can figure it, she's going to be adopted by Rhonda Rat." "Rhubella's mother?" "She was the last time anybody knew..." "Well," he sighed heavily, "not today... not if I can help it!" And in a flash, he disappeared in his trademark crackle of blue lightning. The Deed wandered back to its storage case. "And _he's_ supposed to be the all-knowing one around this joint," he muttered. "HAH!!!" -0- "Oh, my gosh!" Ukariah and Barb gasped simultaneously as they approached what was left of Catastrophe's cave, and started in to the grim task of sorting through the rubble in hopes of finding their friend. It was frustrating work, but it had to be done. Finally, Barb uncovered Catastrophe's left hand... which, fortunately, was still attached to his left arm... which, just as fortunately, was still attached to the rest of Catastrophe. She took one look at him and screamed. "YIII!!" Catastrophe sat bolt upright, holding his head. "Don't ever DO that!" "Hey!" glared Uke. "I heard you were a goner!" "From _whom_? The hack writing this tripe? He wouldn't know a goner from a grouper!" Catastrophe noted sourly. "Huh?" "Never mind," the coyote paused. "Pardon me if I lie down..." And then Catastrophe keeled over. Barb, still holding his left hand, unintentionally pressed his transporter ring, which was similar to the one he'd given Rebecca. The red and green jewels in it started blinking wildly. "Uke?" she asked. "Hang on, whatever you do!" he said, grabbing Catastrophe's tattered lab coat... and in an instant, the three of them disappeared. -0- In Judge Whopper's chambers, at that moment, all heck was about to break loose. The first thing that happened was Rebecca noticing that her ring was blinking incessantly. "Oh, no!" she gasped. "Not now!" "Becky?" Ruby asked. Buster also noticed it. "Throw it off, Becky!" he yelled. Everybody expected her to pull a disappearing act, so they were understandably surprised when, instead, Uke, Barb and Catastrophe suddenly materialized in the corner of the room! "Uke?" Buster asked. "Buster?" Uke asked, relieved to see a familiar face. "What the heck is going on here?" Judge Whopper asked. "I'm sorry, your judgeship, sir," Rebecca stammered. "This'll just take a minute... WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" "Sorry, Beckums," Ukariah apologized, "but we didn't exactly have much say in the matter." He turned to look at Catastrophe, who was still collapsed in a heap. "Oh my gosh," Becky gasped. "Catastrophe..." He raised his head weakly. "Hiya, gorgeous," he said, and then collapsed again. "What happened to him?" Babs asked. "We don't know," Barb said solemnly. "We heard this 'boom!', and when we got to his place, it was totally destroyed. He's lucky to still be alive." "Or at least in one piece," Ukariah added softly. "Wait a minute," Plucky said. "He's a toon, isn't he? He should be able to just shake it off, like the rest of us!" Uke raised an eyebrow at him. "What?" "You know, 'Toon Physics...'" "Er, Plucky," Shirley said, "somehow I _don't_ think it works quite the same way where they come from..." "She's right," Becky sighed sadly. "I don't know how it works on your side of the trans-dimensional portal; but where we come from, if you're down, you STAY down!" "So to speak," Barb added under her breath. As if on cue, the whole room started to shake. "Speaking of which," Buster commanded, "HIT THE DECK!" Everybody began hugging the floor for dear life. Everyone, that is, except for Catastrophe, who wasn't in much shape to hug anything, and Shirley. "Hey, loon girl, didn't you hear me?" Buster yelled. "I said..." "I heard you just fine, Buster. It's all right," she replied calmly. As if to prove her point, the shaking stopped, to be replaced by the familiar blue lightning which signalled the arrival of Alex. "See? Told ya so!" "Doesn't anybody KNOCK any more?" shouted Judge Whopper, who was really starting to get P.O.'d with all these interruptions. "Just political candidates, movie critics and pistons," Alex replied smugly. His attention immediately turned to the small group in the corner gathered mournfully around Catastrophe. "Oh, not _again_..." he muttered. Becky looked up tearfully. "A... Alex?" she barely managed to say. "Say no more," he smiled softly, wrapping his enormous tail around the fallen coyote and concentrating. Before everyone's eyes, Catastrophe started glowing briefly; then, he opened his eyes, blinked twice, and smiled as if nothing extraordinary had happened. As was customary for him, he let out a long whistle. "Wow! Thanks, Alex, I needed that!" "You're welcome." Alex returned the smile. "You know, you people are lucky I like you so much, otherwise I wouldn't bother doing that... over and _over_ and *OVER* and..." "Okay, we get the idea!" Buster grinned playfully. "So, big guy, what brings you here? Come to witness the ceremony?" "Er, well, not exactly..." Alex hedged, then sighed. "Actually, Buster, I'm... I'm here to STOP it." "WHAT?!?" Everybody looked at Alex as if they wanted to beat the snot out of him. "I'm sorry, Rebecca," he continued, "but there's something going on -- I don't know what, yet -- call it a premonition, if you will, but if you go through with this..." "Go on," Rebecca said, coldly. "Well, it could be disastrous." "For whom?" "For you, mainly... but more importantly, for Acme Acres... _and_ Perfecto Plaza..." He turned to Catastrophe. "And I have a feeling what happened to you is tied into it, somehow." "Say, what _did_ happen, anyway?" Plucky asked. Catastrophe related what happened to him as best he could remember, including the answering machine. "...And that's when the roof caved in, so to speak." "You wouldn't happen to have that tape on you, would you?" Uke asked him. "Funny you should mention that. I remember grabbing the machine just before the explosion..." He searched through the remnants of his lab coat, and -- to his surprise -- actually produced the tape. "Well, I'll be darned..." Babs turned to the judge. "Your Honor, would you have something we could play this back on?" Judge Whopper pointed to a machine on his desk. "Thanks." "Whatever..." he grumbled. "Just don't blow anything up with it, will you?" "We'll try not to," Babs reassured him, and rewound the tape to where the message started. A cold chill swept through them as they listened to it. Rebecca and Ruby, in particular, both turned white as a sheet. "Becky..." Rhubella whispered haltingly, "Was... was that... HIM?" "It *couldn't* have been!" Becky insisted, turning to Alex. "What do you think?" "I'm not sure. I've never heard him talk all that much, so I wouldn't really know..." "I would," Ukariah said sternly. "And if that really IS him, then Alex is right -- we're ALL in trouble!" "But it COULDN'T be!" Ruby protested. "He's dead! I killed him myself! He CAN'T be alive!" This brought raised eyebrows from Rhonda and the judge. "What are you talking about, young woman?" Judge Whopper asked her severely. "Rhubella?" Rhonda looked her eldest daughter in the eye blankly. "Is there something you haven't told me?" Ruby could only nod slowly. "Would you care to now?" "I think I'd better tell you," Alex replied quietly, and proceeded to do so. "Who's this 'Him' everyone's so fired up about?" Judge Whopper asked. Ukariah gulped. "It's... Rebecca's father... the Lord High Mayor. As you folks would say, he was one bad hombre..." "Was?" "Not 'was', all right?" Uke snapped. "The total embodiment of pure evil in a rat suit, that's him." "He's got _that_ right," Barb agreed. "We lost a lot of friends because of him... and Becky lost her family..." she added quietly. "I see," said the judge. "I think..." "Wait a minute," Buster said. "I think I've got the picture now. If Becky goes through with this, he might find some way of harming her _new_ family..." "Meaning Rhonda and Ruby..." added Babs, before being struck with a horrible thought. "And..." She stopped briefly, before choking on her continuing thought. "And... Roberta?" She gasped. "He _wouldn't_!... Would he?" "He did it before," Buster replied grimly. "Catastrophe, if he got access to the portal, could he...?" "I'm way ahead of you, Buster. I've been doing a bit more modifying on it. It's voice activated, touch sensitive, and strictly password-enforced." "How's that in English?" Plucky asked, confused. "It's simple," Catastrophe explained. "First, you identify yourself by speaking to it; second, it reads your fingerprints; and third, you have to say the password. If it doesn't recognize any of them, it won't work!" "You know, like that self-destruct thingy on 'Duck Trek'," Shirley chided Plucky. "Oh! NOW I get it!" Plucky said finally. Buster, Babs, and Shirley glanced at each other and, without missing a beat, said wearily, "_Now_ he gets it." Catastrophe ignored them and continued. "So, even if he could get our voices down, that would still leave him with two major obstacles; namely, the fingerprints and the password." "And since the password changes every week, well, he'd go bandannas trying to figure it out," Uke added. "_Bananas_," everyone corrected him. "Well, excuse the heck out of me for mangling your idioms!" Uke smirked. "I didn't know rabbits and coyotes had fingerprints," Ruby said, puzzled. "They do in _our_ dimension," Barb informed her. "So what do we do now?" Becky asked, crestfallen. "I don't know, Rat Babe," Buster sighed. "Alex?" "I think you _know_ what I'd do," he smiled grimly. "But I could use some input, here..." Plucky raised his hand. "Down the hall, third door to the left." "Not _that_, pal!" the duck snapped. "I just get the feeling we've been missing something..." "You mean, like, 'cohesive storytelling,' or some junk?" Shirley replied sarcastically. Plucky thought for a second. "Besides that... I just wish I could remember what it was..." "Well, I wish we had time to help ya remember, Pluckster," Buster said, as Catastrophe approached Alex, handing him his ring. "Here, you might need this." Alex handed it back to him. "Thank you, Catastrophe, but it really won't be necessary," he smiled. "I think I can manage the trip on my own..." "Since _when_?" Babs asked. Alex winked. "Just watch." So saying, he formed a loop with his gigantic tail and concentrated until a picture of Perfecto Plaza appeared in the middle of it. Catastrophe would have whistled, but everyone else beat him to it. "I know, I _know_..." Alex chuckled. "You're not going back there alone, are you?" Ruby asked hesitantly. "Are _you_ going to stop me"? He waited for a reply, and then, getting none, continued. "I didn't think so." Having made his point, he turned to Rebecca. "Whatever happens, don't do anything until I get back." "But what if you don't?" "Details, always details," he muttered good-naturedly. "Like, don't worry, 'kay?" Shirley reassured her. "Alex can more than take care of himself." "Thanks for that vote of confidence," Alex smiled, and then dove into the loop, vanishing completely. "So now what?" Babs asked. "You heard him," Ukariah said. "We wait." -0- Alex appeared in the basement of the Perfecto Plaza Treasury. Not quite where he wanted to go, precisely, but what the hey, he thought. At least he got the dimension right. "Boy, I could sure use some lighting in here," he said to nobody in particular. Instead, he heard the sound of two rifles being cocked at his back. "Oh, not again..." he muttered. Slowly, he raised his arms in surrender, while at the same time, his tail snaked out on its own accord to where his two would-be captors were. Before either one of them knew what had happened, he'd wrapped them both up in his tail, and brought them face to face with him. With the pinky of his left hand, he shot a small blast of energy towards the light switch, to get a more intimidating look at them. Needless to say, they were _all_ in for a surprise. "Fala? Sheryl?" "Alex?" He unwrapped them immediately. "My gosh, what are _you_ doing here?" Sheryl asked, as both of the girls hugged him warmly. "Unfortunately, not a pleasure trip." "We heard this explosion today," Fala began. "I know," Alex said. "It was Catastrophe..." The two girls exchanged worried glances, and looked at Alex. "It's okay, ladies, he's perfectly all right," he reassured them. "Uke and Barb are with him in Acme Acres." "Any idea what happened?" Sheryl asked. "All the evidence points to the Lord High Mayor," he told her. "WHAT?!? But he's..." "Apparently he's _not_," Alex grimaced. "And I suspect he's still after Rebecca..." "Again?" Fala groaned. "That's carrying persistence too far!" Alex and Sheryl merely nodded in agreement. "So... how do we stop him?" "Good question, Fala," Alex pondered. "How _do_ you go about stopping a dead toon?" "Hire an exorcist?" Sheryl ventured. Fala gave her a dope slap on the back of her head. "HEY!" "I think that was a hypathetic question!" "'Hypothetical'," Alex corrected her. "Whatever..." Alex rolled his eyes upward, before focusing his gaze to a corner of the basement he'd never noticed before. He pointed it out to the girls. "What's in there?" His tail began twitching. "We don't know," Sheryl answered. "Nobody's ever been able to get it open. Why do you want to know?" "Call it a gut feeling," he told them, as he approached what appeared to be a well-barricaded doorway. His tail twitched even more wildly now. "Yes..." he said to himself. To the girls, he said, "Stand back!", as he aimed his fist and fired. From a hidden observation point, a voice hissed menacingly, "That's it, you fools... keep going..." -0- Shirley the Loon didn't know why, but she started breaking out in a cold sweat. "Shirl, are you feeling okay?" Ruby asked her. "Like, I don't know..." she said nervously. "Is it cold in here?" "Naw, it's just you," Plucky grumbled. "Stop being funny," Babs admonished him. "I wasn't _trying_ to be funny..." What happened next wasn't funny, either. Suddenly, Shirley began hyperventilating and levitating uncontrollably at the same time. "Shirley?" Buster yelled, unsure of what else to do. "OhwhataloonIam, OhwhataloonIam, OhwhataloonIam..." she chanted frantically, trying to center herself with the cosmos or some junk. She chanted faster and faster, until finally she let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. "Shirley?" Rebecca was the first to her side. "Say something... anything..." The 'Loon Girl''s eyes flickered open, but she was still feeling a cold sweat. "Wha... wha hoppen?" "Well, for one thing, you put on quite an interesting display of aerodynamics," Becky smiled at her, helping her to sit up. "But I don't think anything's broken." "Except my ego," Shirley added. "Oh, you'll get over it," Becky reassured her. "What just happened?" Babs asked. "Did you have a vision or something?" "No... just a feeling of something... something _evil_..." "What, _here_?" "No... in Perfecto Plaza... ohmygawd... Alex is in danger! I KNOW it!" The panic was clearly rising in her voice. "Calm down, Shirley, you're frightening me," Ruby said. "Like, I _can't_..." "Hold on, Shirl," Uke asked. "Whaddaya mean, 'something evil'... the Lord High Mayor?" "NO!" she insisted. "Something far worse, like... like... oh... my... gawd..." She started looking frantically around the chambers. "Catastrophe!" He sprinted over to here. "Here, Shirl! Whaddaya need?" "I need to borrow your ring..." "Wait a minute," Buster cautioned her. "You're not going anywhere!" Shirley shot him a look of pure defiance. "Sez _you_, blue ears!" "Oh-kay... let me rephrase that. You're not going anywhere without _us_!" "Er, Buster," Babs whispered, "are you sure this is such a good idea?" "Really? No," he smiled, "but has that ever stopped us before?" "No," Babs replied cheerfully. "All riiight..." He took the ring from a reluctant Catastrophe. "How do you work this thing, anyway?" "Just press down on the mountings," the coyote replied. "You should wind up in the lab..." "SHOULD?" Babs asked. "Is there anything ELSE we shouldn't know?" "Yeah," Catastrophe told her. "If you gals are serious about hitching a ride with Buster, then hang on to him, whatever you do; otherwise he'll be flying solo!" "Got it!" Shirley replied, grabbing Buster's sweater. "Likewise," Babs said, doing the same. "And for pete's sake," Catastrophe added as an afterthought, "don't let go until you get there!" "We won't," they assured him. Buster took a deep breath, muttered a quick, silent prayer, and pressed the ring. "To infinity, and beyond!" "Wrong picture," Babs reminded him as they vanished. Ruby, watching them go, muttered, "I said it before, I'll say it again... PLEASE don't get killed!" -0- The single blast from Alex was enough to knock down the door. Cautiously, he, Fala and Sheryl entered what appeared to be some sort of telecommunications room... and beyond that, another barricaded door. Looking around, they saw video monitors, playback equipment, cameras... it was all there, albeit rather dusty, and some of it damaged beyond repair. Alex took a deep breath, and regretted it almost immediately. "Boy" he said, coughing his lungs out (figuratively). "I thought Los Angeles was bad!" "Where's Los Angeles?" Fala asked Sheryl. "I dunno," she replied. "I think he's making it up." Alex, meanwhile, fumbled for a chair, sat down, and quickly stood up again. "Hmmmmm... *ocupado*," he said. The chair swivelled around to reveal its occupant... and the girls screamed their heads off. Figuratively. "Oh, for pete's sake," Alex admonished them. "I thought you two were tougher than that!" They responded by screaming their heads off in a bass register. "Knock it off," he told them, examining the well-dressed corpse, which was little more than a skeleton in a suit. He tapped the skull facetiously and said, "Hello? Is anybody in there?" The skull fell to the floor. The girls screamed again. "I _deserved_ that," Alex muttered, pinching his eyes shut. -0- As it turned out, Catastrophe was right. Shirley and the Bunnies _did_ appear in the lab. "Okay, we're here. Now what?" Babs asked. Buster smiled. "Let me think..." From previous experience, they knew he meant that literally. Concentrating as hard as he could, he quickly established his psychic connection to Alex. To his surprise, it kept getting easier the more he did it. 'Hey, Alex, where are ya, pal?' 'Buster?' Alex thought in return. 'Whom else?' '(Sigh) If you must know, we're in the Treasury basement.' 'Mind if we come over?' 'Can I stop you?' 'No.' 'Oh, all right, but let me warn you, it's not a pretty sight.' 'Meaning what?' 'You'll find out.' Buster gulped. Loudly. -0- The Bunnies and Shirley had no trouble getting into the Treasury, mainly because they were so well known by now. "Hello, Buster," said the guard at the front desk. "What brings you here this time?" "Business, I'm afraid," he sighed. "We'll be in the basement." The guard gave them the go-ahead, and they made the trek down the stairs. "Alex?" he called out. "In here," he answered, looking up. He was clearly not pleased to see Babs and Shirley. A sentiment not shared by Fala and Sheryl. "HiEEEeee!" "HiEEEeee!" "eeEEEeee!" Alex and Buster said. This got them a dirty look from the girls. "You may want to watch your step," Alex cautioned them. "Oh? Why?" Babs asked, kicking the skull in the process. Looking down, she fought the urge to scream; instead, she did a quick spin-change, emerging in a slinky, VERY low-cut black gown and sporting an equally black bouffant wig. "DAR-ling, I don't wanna say anything, but you _really_ should learn how to clean _up_ after a wild party! You _don't_ want the landlord finding out about it, I'm _sure_!!" she said, mimicking Elvira perfectly. Even Alex couldn't resist a small laugh. Perhaps a little levity _was_ called for at this point, after all. She spun again, and returned to her 'normal' self. "You still got it, babe," Buster told her admiringly. "Was there ever any doubt?" Babs winked. "Okay, you two, fun time's over," Alex said. "Time to get serious..." Shirley approached the corpse cautiously. "Like, _eeeughh_ or some junk! Do you have any idea who this was?" "None at all," Alex replied, returning his attention to the video machines. "Perhaps something here can tell us." He pressed a button, and the playback deck sprang to life -- which was more than could be said for the occupant of the chair, of course. "Wouldn't it be simpler to just look for some I.D. on him?" Babs asked. "You wanna be the one to do it?" Sheryl countered. "Who, ME? NOOOOOOOOO, thankyew!" Babs replied quickly. "I don't blame you..." "Quiet!" Alex shushed them. "I'm getting a picture." The picture he got was that of the video room they were in now, only several years earlier. The others gathered around the monitor to get a better look, and soon wished they hadn't. What they saw made their ink run cold. The video was streaky in spots, but they could clearly make out the image of a handsome young male... rat. Handsome, and _very_ familiar looking. Alex frowned. "I wish I knew what he was saying," he grumbled. "The audio on this thing is no good at all!" Clearly, the rat in the video was in some sort of peril, and he was trying to call for help... or maybe he was just leaving a final message for somebody. Either way, he was panicking totally, as the toons watched with a mixture of fascination and horror. Alex sighed sadly as he came to the realization that whoever this was in the video now occupied the swivel chair. "That poor man," Babs sniffed. The others said nothing. Instead, they stared at the monitor as the picture showed the rat getting blasted from all sides by bolts of energy which practically melted him, like what happened to the Nazis in "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Only _this_ was no Lucas/Spielberg special effect. Alex turned it off in disgust. After a respectful moment of silence, Shirley spoke softly. "I... I think I know who this was..." "I think we _all_ do..." Buster added solemnly, adding, "And I think I remember what it was Plucky forgot." He leaned against a console. "It was something Becky herself said. She said in this dimension, if a toon goes down, they stay down. Which means, if a Toon dies here, they STAY dead." "So, what are you saying, Buster?" Babs asked. "_I_ think we've been _had_, that's what he's saying," Fala added quietly, yet angrily. Sheryl was just as angry. "Do you mean to tell us that for all that time, that we were fighting..." "An impostor?" Alex finished her question for her. "Exactly." He pointed to the corpse. "_There_, I'm afraid, is the _real_ Robert Rat... or, what's left of him." "And this impostor is the one who murdered Rebecca's family?" "It would appear so," Alex said unemotionally. "Bravo, Alex! You've figured it out!" said an unseen voice. Unseen, yet familiar... -0- In Judge Whopper's chambers, Rebecca was even more jittery than usual. "Will you relax?" Plucky told her. "They'll be back." Somehow, she wasn't convinced. "I'm sorry, Plucky, I just don't know about that," she replied. Unfortunately, she was fidgeting so much that she accidentally activated her ring. In seconds, she had vanished. Everybody stared at Plucky as though he were responsible. "WHAT?!?" he demanded innocently. -0- Nobody noticed that the ring which Buster had borrowed from Catastrophe was now blinking furiously. They were too busy trying to breathe through the stench of death and stale spaghetti sauce that suddenly permeated the room. And then Rebecca showed up. "Oh, great," Buster sighed. "I thought I told you to stay put!" Alex yelled. "I'm sorry," she replied, not even noticing what was going on around her. "It was an accident..." She looked around the room... and that's when she saw the skeleton. "EEEEEEEEEEEEK!" "Get her OUT of here!" Alex commanded sharply. Before they could, though, the door he had previously blasted down flew back into place and sealed itself shut! "Oh, god..." Rebecca whispered. "Like, I don't _think_ so, dudette," Shirley answered, trying to be as courageous as possible. In fact, she was as scared as everyone else was, only more so. She had every reason to be, and Alex, more than anyone else, suddenly knew why. His brow furrowed angrily, and he turned his gaze around the room, looking at no one in particular. "ALL RIGHT, YOU FAKER, SHOW YOURSELF!" he barked. Before them materialized the form of the Lord High Mayor, scars and all. "No disguises!" he added. "Oh come on, just _one_?" his opponent pleaded, changing immediately into the guise of an animation studio lawyer. "I use _this_ one when I want to harass those pesky fanfic writers on the internet," he smiled evilly. "That's really LOW!" Buster sneered. "You think so? Maybe you'll remember _this_ blast from the past," he chuckled contemptuously, and reappeared as a familiar - and dreaded - character from their distant history. Shirley turned even whiter than usual. "Ohmygawd... it's... Mr. Dru!" she whispered, frightened. Babs gulped. Hard. "Th-th-that was _you_?" "I see you remember, even after all these years. Good! I've never forgotten _you_... or _you_, Buster... or _especially_ you, Shirley the Duck!" "LOON!" everybody corrected him. "Loon, duck, WHATever!" he replied lazily. Buster eyed their foe closely. "Hmmm... you've _lost_ a few inches since last time, haven't you?" "Hmmm?" "I remember you as being _taller_!" "Well, we all shrink as we get older..." "ENOUGH!!!" Alex roared irritably. "You might fool them, but you can't fool ME!" "Oh, all right, if you insist..." He changed one final time, into his true - and more frightening - form. "How's this?" "I think I liked you better as a lawyer," Fala quipped. Becky was now scared out of her wits. "Who IS that?" she asked. "Oh please, somebody tell her," he said lightly. "I do so hate blowing my own horn..." Alex shot him his most annoyed look. "This is my oldest and best enemy." He really didn't want to do it, but he had to. "This is Death." Putting a hand on Becky's shoulder, he said, "This... creature... murdered your family, Rebecca... including your father... I'm sorry..." "Very good, Alex; very precise. Allow me now to tie up a few loose ends... starting with _you_!" With that, Death snapped his fingers. The toons watched, horrified, as Alex's tail snaked around his throat twice, choking off his circulation; and with the remaining length, hooked itself around a ceiling fan! Another snap of his fingers, and the fan started slowly revolving. Out of nowhere, off-key carousel music played in the background. As Alex struggled to free himself, Death continued his explanation. "You see, Alex, I knew there would come a day when our paths would cross again. Yours, mine, and Shirley the Duck's. If not in _your_ tooniverse, then in another... to be precise, _this_ one!" "I don't get it," Sheryl said, scratching her head. "What does all this have to do with Rebecca?" "You silly child," Death scolded her. "_Nothing_! Her poor family were just, shall we say, window dressing." "You... you mean... they all died for no good reason?" Fala asked, beyond outrage now. "Well, if you want to be crass about it... yeah. Them, and a few of your friends..." "But... but WHY?" Becky was in tears now. "You still don't get it, do you? It was all an elaborate scheme to get to Alex! The last time our paths crossed, he denied me a very choice soul for the taking... namely, Shirley's." "I remember," Buster whispered. Meanwhile, Alex continued revolving overhead. "And now, I shall claim ALL of you!" Death replied mockingly. Suddenly, Sheryl grabbed her rifle and aimed it squarely at... Alex! Alex took a weary look, and smiled imperceptibly. "Do it," he gasped. Sheryl squeezed the trigger, and the bullet found its mark... right at the base of the fan. With a metallic 'ping', Alex dropped down from the ceiling and landed feet first into his foe's chest, knocking him against the video console, which shorted out with a shock so powerful that even Death himself would never have survived it. Quickly, Alex pulled the plug, to the surprise of the toons. "That would be too good for you," he snapped, with a wicked grin on his face. Buster was equally moved beyond outrage, and before anybody could stop him, he picked up the nearest object to smack Death a good one... which happened to be the skull. As he raised it to eye level, his keen rabbit vision caught something he'd never noticed before. "What the - ??" Alex turned sharply. "Buster! Have you no respect for the dead?" The blue bunny smiled nonchalantly. "Hey, we're Warner Bros. characters. We don't have respect for _anybody_!" Alex paused briefly. "Oh yes, that's right..." He shook it off and came back to his senses. "But _still_..." "Come on, Alex," Buster continued. "I've got plenty of respect for the dead..." He paused for emphasis, and then shouted, "BUT NOT WHEN THEIR BODY PARTS ARE STAMPED 'MADE IN TAIWAN'!" He tossed Alex the skull for him to inspect it. Sure enough, those three little words were clearly embossed at the base of the skull in 5 pt. Helvetica type! "Check it out," Buster said. "Plastic." "How did I miss _that_?" Babs asked, startled. "You were preoccupied with being funny?" Sheryl suggested. "I'm just glad you're such a good shot," Alex smiled, before turning his attention back to the form on the console. "I'll wager you anything he lied about a _lot_ of things just now..." he said, raising his fists and preparing to blast his nemesis to... anywhere else. Alex clenched his teeth and seethed, slowly yet forcefully, "You... don't... belong... HERE!" His eyes turned a blazing orange as he fixed his aim... but not before he leaned close and said, almost casually, "Did I mention before that your father was a bachelor?" Then, *ZAP!* One quick blast, and Death was gone. Almost magically, the foul stench dissipated. Likewise, that lousy carousel music also stopped. "Where'd he go?" Becky asked, still shaken. Alex shrugged. "Who _cares_?" Buster interrupted him. "Mind if _I_ throw in a question?" "Such as..." "You coulda gotten out of that ceiling fan with your eyes closed, couldn't you?" Alex attempted to cough his way out of replying, but it didn't work. "Well?" "Oh, all right, you caught me," Alex finally admitted, a little annoyed, but not too much. "You mean, you _knew_ I'd try something like shooting you loose?" Sheryl asked. Alex merely nodded. "What if I'd missed? Or... what if I'd hit you?" "Come ON!" Alex smiled mysteriously. "You don't really think I would have allowed _that_ to happen, do you?" "And what do you mean that Death creep probably lied about a lot of other things? What things?" Fala asked. "You saw how he tried to deceive us with all his disguises," Alex said. "You heard him admit his main plan was to get to me... and the capper was that phony skeleton... well, who's to say that wasn't the _only_ thing he staged?" "You mean... that video may have been a hoax, too?" Babs said slowly. "That, among others," Alex hinted. "He's quite the showman, I'll give him _that_ much..." "You're not so bad yourself, big guy," Buster noted. At this point, Rebecca was at a loss for words, but she eventually spoke up. "Wait a minute, hold on," she said, confused. "You mean to tell me it's possible that... that..." Instinctively, all eyes turned to the forgotten barricaded door. "No, they couldn't be..." She shook her head fiercely, denying the very possibility, however remote... and then looked at Alex hopefully. "Could they?" Alex pointed a finger at the door, as if he knew all along what was behind it. "There's only one way you'll ever know," he smiled; and, shooting a small blast of energy in its direction, blasted it off its hinges. The door fell to the floor with a loud crash, raising dust everywhere. The toons coughed like the dickens. "Sorry," Alex apologized. Cautiously, they approached the small room, trying to fan away the dust. As Rebecca peered in, her scream told them all they needed to know... "Not so loud, okay?" came a weak voice from inside the room. Becky still couldn't believe her eyes. "F... Father?" "B... Beckums? Is it... you?" The tired, unbelieving form of Robert Rat - the _real_ one - emerged from suspended animation, crawled forward to get a better look, then collapsed at his daughter's feet. Alex didn't need to be told what to do. As he closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could, the rest of the toons watched in amazement as Becky's entire family glowed with an eerie iridescence for a few seconds, and then emerged from their ordeal very much alive. Needless to say, there wasn't a dry eye in the place. "Somebody's gonna have to tell Ruby she just got gypped out of a sister," Babs joked through her tears. "In this case," Buster replied, "I don't think she'll mind..." His attention turned from the happy reunion to Alex, who, almost unnoticed, was now collapsed on the console! Quickly, he dumped the phony skeleton out of the swivel chair and helped Alex into it. "Are you all right, big guy?" "I'll... I'll be fine," he answered, obviously exhausted. "I... I've never tried that on such a large scale before. I think I need more practice," he smiled. "Good thing I didn't try that with my _tail_." "I'll bite," Buster shrugged, sensing the jokester in Alex was about to surface. "Why?" "Are you kidding? Then I woulda had to get the darn thing _refurred_!" "Where?" Babs asked, also sensing a set-up. "Where else?" Alex winked, before letting go with the inevitable bad pun, to the expected chorus of groans. "A 're-furral' service!" -0- EPILOGUE... Some time had passed since the Tiny Toons and the gang from Perfecto Plaza had said their final goodbyes (after one of the wildest parties ever thrown in _any_ tooniverse), and things had pretty much settled down to normalcy (sort of). But Rhubella had found the parting to be harder to deal with than she thought it would be; and even being with her friends didn't help much. Neither did concentrating on her studies. Finally, she decided what she needed to do was go for a walk; where didn't matter. As fate would have it, she found herself in the Acme Forest, in the very spot where the whole crazy adventure had started. She took a deep breath, and allowed herself the luxury of a small smile. "Oh come on, Ruby, you can do better than that!" Startled, Ruby turned around, and found herself face to face with Rebecca. She ran to hug her... and nearly fell on her face when she passed right through her. "Wha -- ?" "Sorry to disappoint you, Ruby, but I'm a hologram..." Becky said pleasantly. "I'll explain later." "Well, hologram or not, it's good to see you again," Ruby said. "So, what's been going on back there? Anything new and exciting? How's the family?" she chuckled. "Oh, that's right, you don't know, do you? Well, let's see..." Becky (or rather, her image) sat down on a nearby stump, crossed her legs, and began. "For starters, the family's fine. Dad's considering running for mayor again..." "Against Uke? He won't stand a chance!" "He knows. Anyway, it won't be _this_ year; next time around, though, he thinks he might give it a shot." "What? Just 'mayor'? None of this 'Lord High Mayor' garbage?" "Nah. He says, and I quote, 'That jazz just plain reeks!'" After they both laughed at that, Becky continued. "He thinks the policies Uke instituted are good ones, and he'd like to see them continued. He's really got some good ideas..." She paused, and sighed. "I find it hard to believe I'm saying all that, after the things we all thought about him..." "That was an imposter, Becky, it wasn't really him..." "I know, Ruby; and I've been stumbling over my tongue apologizing to him ever since." Ruby smiled wickedly. "_That_ must paint an interesting picture! Speaking of which, how _is_ Ukariah?" "You read my mind, girl! About the same as always, I guess..." "Whaddaya mean, you guess?" "We hardly ever see him anymore, what with his mayoral duties _and_ running the search efforts..." "_What_ search efforts?" "Oh, that's right, you don't know. Turns out a lot of our friends we thought were dead, are still alive! They're just hiding out somewhere..." "And Uke's taken it upon himself to go look for them?" "Yeah, when his free time allows it. At least he's got help," Becky confided. "Fala and Sheryl are, how do you say it, 'doin' the grunt work'?" "I guess that's the phrase," Ruby shrugged. "They should be up to it..." "Oh yeah, they really missed being 'where the action is'." "What about Barb?" "She wanted to, but she's under doctor's orders to take it easy." "What? Nothing serious, I hope." "Nah, she's fine. She's just waiting for the baby..." "Oh... *WHAT*?!?" "I didn't tell you? She and Uke got married!" "Really?!? That's great!" Ruby squealed, then half-closed one eye. "You know, you could have invited us to the wedding!" she added. Becky's gaze turned to the ground. "Um... that's the _other_ thing I haven't told you yet." Becky said sadly. "We couldn't have, no matter how much we wanted to..." "I don't understand." Ruby was confused. "That's why you're seeing me as a hologram, Ruby. See, Catastrophe discovered that all that transdimensional travel back and forth was disturbing the space/time continuum..." "I still don't understand..." "It wouldn't affect _your_ world in the slightest, but if either you or I had made just one more trip through that portal, it would have completely destroyed _our_ world!" Becky broke down, sobbing. "We don't know how extensive the damage is, or when it'll repair itself... or... or _if_..." Ruby swallowed hard. "What you're saying is, we'll never see each other again... ever?" Becky wiped her eyes on her sleeve, and continued. "Well, _never_ is a long time, kiddo. Catastrophe's working on it day and night; until then, the portal's been permanently shut off." She took a deep breath, and smiled wanly. "You'll just have to settle for this hologram, I guess." "Big deal," Ruby sighed bitterly. "It's not the same!" Then, attempting to put a little humor into the situation, she added, pouting, "Anyway, I don't have one. It's not fair! Every kid in the neighborhood has got a hologram projector except ME!" "*HA*, _Ha_, ha!" Rebecca finally said, perfectly mimicking Rhubella. After both girls stopped laughing, Becky cleared her throat. "Ruby, tell Buster and Babs and the rest we said 'Hi', will you? And thanks again... for everything." "Sure thing, kiddo," Ruby assured her. "I'll say 'Hi' to Mom and Roberta for you, too," she added. "Thanks, Ruby," Becky said, as her image started breaking up. "Oh, and tell them..." "Becky?" Ruby asked sharply, and reached out to touch the image, which dissipated into thin air. Once again finding herself alone, Ruby smiled, blinked back a single solitary tear, and whispered, "I know, Beckums. We love you, too..." =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Story (C) 1996; final version (C) Nov. 5, 1998 by Jerry D. Withers, mainly because it took me THIS long to come up with an ending I really _liked_, hokay? :) . Revised Version 1.2 (C) Feb. 21, 2000 by same. All rights reserved. All Tiny Toon Adventures characters, related indicia (whatever THAT is), etc. are (C) 1990-1998 by Warner Bros. Animation, Inc. and Amblin Entertainment, and (stop me if ya heard THIS before!) are used without permission, but with a whole lotta love and respect (and maybe just a little silliness here and there). The characters "Rhonda Rat," "Roberta Rat," "Rebecca Rat," "Ukariah Bunny," "Barb Bunny," "Catastrophe Coyote," "Sheryl the Loon," "Fala" and "Robert Rat", and "Perfecto Plaza" were created and (C) 1996 by Jerry D. Withers. The characters "Alex Redolence," "The Deed" and "Death" were created and (C) Jeremy J. Jurrens, and are used pursuant to permission. The character alluded to of "Mr. Dru" is from "Terror Toons Adventure", written and (C) by Anthony Barnett. Okay. End of legalese. Really. Thanks again to the usual suspects. If you'd like to see further "Parallels" adventures, let me know at jwithers@tcfn.org (and if the response warrants it, and I have the free time, maybe I can talk Catastrophe into fixing that darned portal!). TTFN! 8{) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=