"Plucky, maybe you should lose the armory," Buster suggested.
"What for?"
"Well, for one thing, it clashes with your ensemble," Ruby quipped. "And in the second place, how can we pull a sneak attack with all that clattering you're doing?"
Plucky hadn't considered that. "Oh, all right," he griped, removing his bandoliers. "But if you're shooting it out with the Lord Mayor and his goons and you run out of ammo, don't come crying to ME!"
"Consider yourselves warned," Buster said nonchalantly. The small group snickered quietly.
"Thanks, Plucky," Ukariah smiled, "but if we're fortunate, maybe there won't be any gunplay. I know you're disappointed..." He then addressed the rebels. "Okay, now you know the plan. We want to take the Lord Mayor alive, if possible. He's more than likely to have his goons patrolling the inside, and they won't hesitate to shoot first and forget the questions. Disable them if you can; but shoot only if you have to. We don't wanna have any bloodshed if we can avoid it. You know your assigned areas?" They nodded. "Good. Buster and I are going to try and get him out in the open. Fala...well, you know what you'll have to do if he's within range..." The skunkette nodded solemnly. "Well, that's all I can think of, gang, unless somebody has something they'd like to add?" Nobody did. "Okay. Let's go..." They cautiously made their way out of the basement and into the 'palace proper.' 'So far, so good,' Uke thought. He turned to Rebecca. "Scared?" he whispered.
"The truth? Heck, yeah..."
"Well, don't be. He'll have to go through all of us first to get to you, and I don't think he can hold out that long."
"Maybe," Rebecca sighed, "but can WE?"
"This is a lousy time to have cold feet, kiddo," Plucky whispered as they entered the library.
"I know, Plucky...but I also know I can't keep hiding forever..."
"Well, if we succeed, you won't have to," Buster said determinedly.
Rebecca squeezed both Buster and Plucky's hands. "Thanks, guys...I just want you to know..."
A shout from Sheryl interrupted her. "Goon Show at 12:00!" One of the goons appeared at the library door, ready to fire. From above the door, Ruby saw an old-fashioned battle helmet.
"I'm on it!" she yelled, and making one of her patented leaps, jumped over the goon's head, ripped the helmet from its resting place, and bopped him into dreamland with it. All in the space of 1.5 seconds! Rebecca's jaw dropped. "You can admire my technique later, kid," Ruby told her, tossing the goon's rifle to Rebecca. "I hope you know how to use one of these, 'cause I don't!"
"Okay, let's MOVE IT!" Ukariah barked. They exited the library and continued their search. Babs and Barb found themselves near, of all places, the men's room!
"Toss you for it," Barb smirked.
"Sorry, don't have time!" Babs replied, rushing in and dispatching two goons at once--literally with their pants down! She came back out with their rifles and a sillier-than-thou grin on her face. "Don't go in there, Barb; it's not a pretty sight!" Barb didn't dare ask what this crazy pink rabbit meant...but she had a pretty good idea. They joined the others near the entrance to the grand ballroom.
"And just where have you two been?" Plucky asked.
"The little boys' room," Babs said, with a not-so-straight face.
"Ask a stupid question..." he sighed.
-0-
From his hiding place, the Lord Mayor could hear the group approaching. "Okay, spread out," he heard the unmistakable voice of Ukariah say. "But be careful!" The Lord Mayor chuckled to himself.
"Ukariah," Fala asked, noticing the cauldron, "what do you suppose he's going to do with this?"
"Beats me. Probably rinsing out his shorts or something equally nauseating."
'Laugh all you want, rabbit,' thought the Mayor. 'It won't keep you alive much longer...' He patted his holster again, and the action caused the tapestry to move slightly. Buster noticed it, and whispered to Ukariah, who nodded, and whispered back to Buster, who also nodded, and crouched out of sight behind the cauldron. It was showtime.
"My oh my, it's such a lovely day to go throughout the palace," Ukariah said loudly, a smirk on his face, as he approached a staue of the Mayor near one of the exits, "and wantonly destroy mediocre works of so-called art..." He paused. "Tip..." he said, and tip he did. *CRASH!!!* That did it. The Lord High Mayor emerged from his hiding place just in time to see Ukariah standing at the exit, blowing him kisses. "Mmmmmwah!" he shouted, and dove through the exit. The Mayor reached for his pistol, but couldn't believe his eyes. There, at the opposite exit, tipping over another statue and making great big girly eyes at him, was Ukariah! (Actually, it was Buster, but the Mayor didn't know that!)
"I won't miss this time," he growled, and fired at Buster. Fortunately, all those classes at Acme Loo on how to avoid hunters paid off. The Mayor was ready to shoot in the same spot again, when he heard...
"Yoo hoo!" He turned to see Ukariah, armed with a can of spray paint, standing near a wall-length portrait of His Excellency, on the other side of the room again! "Excuse me, snookums, but does 'schmuck' start with an 'F' or a 'Ph'?"
"AAAARRRGGH!"
"Thanks!" He didn't wait to get out of the way. End result: one safely hidden rebel leader, and one great big hole in the wall.
"Curse you, Ukariah!" the Mayor yelled angrily. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Buster on the other side of the room. "And you too, Uka--UNG!!!"
Meanwhile, he was being so flustered by this, that he didn't even notice the female rat on the same landing, until she bumped into him. "Ooops! Pardon me..."
He recovered his wits slightly. "Quite all..." Then he recovered them fully. "YOU!!!" he shouted, lunging at her throat with both hands. Unfortunately, he got her, and began strangling the life out of her!
On the ground level, unaware of what was happening, Ukariah and Buster were congratulating themselves on a flummoxing job well done, and rejoined the group. "Okay, let's GET him!" They ran charging from their hiding place, and then stopped short when they saw what was happening. "Oh no!" Ukariah yelled. "He's got Rebecca!"
"What are you talking about? I'm right here," she said from behind him. At that moment, the same horrible thought struck all of them, but it was Buster and Babs who gave voice to it...
"HE'S KILLING RUBY!!!" They could only watch, petrified, as she fought an obviously losing battle, arms and legs flailing helplessly. If they'd been paying closer attention, they would have seen her tail snaking not-so-helplessly towards its objective, although at that moment, it would be a miracle if she lived to accomplish what she had in mind. Ever so slowly, she pocketed the object in her skirt, and then, with all her strength ebbing, made one last gesture of defiance--scratching four ugly scars on the right side of his face, to match the ones Rebecca gave him.
If she thought it was going to save her, she was wrong. He merely tightened his death grip, walked towards the railing, and held her over the boiling pot. It was apparent what he was going to do with it, finally. And Rebecca couldn't stand it any longer. Steeling herself, she emerged from the safety of the group. "Hey! You want me, you idiot? I'm down here!" she screamed.
"WHAT??" he yelled angrily, not believing what he was seeing. Then, he smiled wickedly. "Well, whoever this was, I'll just consider her...shall we say...practice?" He held the apparently lifeless Rubella directly over the pot with one hand, still choking her.
"Can't somebody DO something?" Babs shouted in frustration.
Plucky spoke grittily, "Stand back, sister!" and waited for his chance...
-0-
Alex, meanwhile, was outside on the balcony, and saw everything. His tail twitched back and forth wildly, his eyes started changing color, and he yelled at the top of his lungs, "NOOOO!!!" Every window on that floor shattered inwardly, spraying the ballroom with broken glass. The Lord Mayor was so startled that he let Ruby go...and that's when Plucky did the unbelievable; flapping his wings like a duck possessed, he circled the ballroom furiously and caught Ruby by her blouse collar just before she would've hit the cauldron! Buster, Babs and Shirley could only mouth a silent 'WOW!' Who knew that green egomaniac had that in him?
The Lord Mayor, however, was about to have troubles of his own. He spun around, and came face to face with a very angry Alex Redolence! He grabbed the Mayor by his jacket, and stared at him eyeball to eyeball. Alex's eyes were the only thing he noticed. They weren't green. They weren't even crimson. Instead, they glowed with the very fire that was underneath the cauldron. For the first and last time in his miserable life, the Lord High Mayor of Perfecto Plaza experienced genuine terror. He had every reason to...especially when Alex levitated to the ceiling, still holding on to the Lord Mayor, suspended above his own cauldron.
Alex hissed, with a loud, booming voice, "Your father was a bachelor!", and with all the power he could muster (and, being Alex, that was a LOT of power!), flung him into the cauldron with such force that the lid slammed shut, and then the pot fell through several floors to the basement! Alex calmed down and looked at his friends. "Well, call me butterfingers..." They didn't laugh. He descended to ground level and joined them. "How's Rubella?" he asked.
Shirley answered, tears flowing down her face. "Alex, she...she's..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Booshwah!" he snapped, and wrapped his tail around the dead rat. She started to glow briefly, then opened her eyes as if nothing had happened. "Don't ever scare us like that again," he told her softly. "Acme Acres wouldn't be the same without you." She was too busy hugging him to reply.
For the conclusion, click here.
(c) 1997 jwithers@tcfn.org