* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive. 

  * Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the 
  water. 

  * Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi 
  material.  Rose is just marriage bait. 

  * Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or 
  steerage. 

  * It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a 
  raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun. 

  * Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as 
  sympathetic characters.  Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting 
  bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral. 

  * We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and 
  treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the 
  bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun. 

  * Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?

  * Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba 
  the Hutt. 

  * There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars. 

  * If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking 
  ship, he would use the Force to get the key. 

  * Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie." 

  * Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. 
  Leo simply freezes. 

  * Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg! 

  * We knew the boat was gonna sink.  But who could've 
  anticipated, "Luke....I am your father"? 

  * Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; 
  everyone in Titanic was a minor character. 

  * When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by 
  half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of 
  himself at the Oscars. 

  * Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 3) pose 
  nude for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if you're 
  infatuated, 5) let undesirables drown. 
  Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all 
  life even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) 
  save planet.