Men and Women

Beam Me UP

Why do men like women in leather?
-Because they smell like new cars
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Why shouldn't you have sex with your wife in the morning?
-Because you've got all day to find something better!
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What should you do if you arrive home and find your wife in bed with another man?
-Make sure his guide dog hasn't shit on the bedroom floor!
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What defines a truly sensitive, 90's type guy?
-He doesn't make his girlfriend blow him after he buttf**s her.
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What photo do Ugly girls carry in their lockets?
-A photo of a candle.
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How are women like babies?
-When they both start to cry they're usually full of shit.
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What do women and prawns have in common?
-There heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great
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How can you tell if a pussy really stinks?
-A fly lands on it and throws up.
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When are men at their smartest?
-It's during sex.... because they are plugged into an
f***ing "know it all"!
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