The Avenger's Handbook
Pål D. Ekran
October 11, 1999
``Oh people, know that you have committed great sins. If you
ask me what proof I have for these words, I say it is because I am the
punishment of God.
If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a
punishment like me upon you.''
-- Genghis Kahn, Bukhara 1220
The Avenger's Handbook
Copyright ©1993-99 Pål D. Ekran
Published by Ekran Design 1999
Ekran Design - http://www.ekran.no/
ISBN 82-995215-0-5
Distribution terms
You may copy and distribute verbatim copies of this text as you
receive it, in any medium, provided that you conspicuously and
appropriately publish it completely and without any modifications
either in content or format, including the introduction and this
copyright notice.
Thus follows that you bring forward these same, limited rights as you
are hereby granted, to any further recipients of this document.
You may charge a nominal fee for the physical act of transferring a
copy of this document, however this fee must not extend beyond the
cost of the physical medium and transportation of it.
You may not charge anything for wired or aired transmissions of this
text.
Disclaimer
The author assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of
the ideas described.
The author specifically disclaims any personal liability, loss or risk
incurred as a consequence of the use, either directly or indirectly,
of any information presented herein.
As this book is made freely available it comes with absolutely
no warranty, in particular regarding the authenticity or accuracy of
any action described herein.
Some of the schemes described in this book are illegal to perform, and
most of them will make your target suffer in one way or another.
You should consider this text as a source of amusement, not as a
manual of how to create havoc and get yourself into trouble.
This entire book was written using the vim editor.
In the beginning the hardware consisted of an Amiga 600, and at the
end, a IBM Thinkpad 600 running Redhat Linux.
The book's final layout and typesetting was done with LATEX2e.
``The mark is anyone who has done something unpleasant, foul,
unforgivable, or fatal to you, your family, your property or your
friends. Never think of a mark as a victim of dirty tricks. Think of
the mark as a very deserving target of revenge.''
-- George Hayduke,
Make'em Pay!
It is difficult to sit down after working on a project for 6 years,
and write an introduction to its final state.
If there is still any doubt, this is the final release of the
Avenger's Handbook.
You may stop sending me all ideas on how to get even with someone,
they will not be included in any future release.
It all started in the late young days of the Internet, around
september 1993 and just a few ``hours'' before that horrible moment
when someone came up with the tragic idea that everyone should have
access to the net.
It was fall and I had just attended my first class at the University
of Tromsø, in Norway.
It was also just weeks after I had been introduced to
alt.flame, talk.bizzarre and
alt.shenanigans.
In an instant (actually it took three new-group messages) the
newsgroup alt.revenge had been created and started to bring
messages to the feed.
Thanks to James Stark, the creator of alt.revenge.
After being one of the active participants in the group for a while, I
took it upon myself the task of collecting all of the best ideas into
a text file.
This text file became the Avenger's Handbook, and it has been
available on the net since 1994.
With the web came the Avenger's FrontPage, which has acted as a front
end for the Avenger's Handbook and various other texts following the
same topic.
In 1997 the Avenger's FrontPage was one of the most successful
revenge pages on the net, and during this time I started to plan a
complete rewrite of the Avenger's Handbook.
Throughout a week with seven sleepless nights (and sleep full days) I
managed to crank down about 90KB of raw text, using material from
the old Avenger's Handbook.
I spent most of the time selecting from the old text and removing the
ideas that weren't suitable.
Much rewriting was required to make the new text look more like a real
book, even if I sometimes wrote a few words, it never lead to any real
progress.
Then in 1999 I reopened my file and started to work on the text
again.
Through May, June and July I sent the text to some voluntary
proofreaders who did great improvements on it.
Afterwards I finalized the layout and released it.
The frequent reader of the Avenger's FrontPage will find that most of
the material in this book are taken from the Avenger's Handbook, from
the Alt.revenge FAQ and from my own experience in
alt.revenge.
I have tried to make this document different from the old
Avenger's Handbook, and I have tried to keep it short and interesting
enough to make a good online book suitable for anyone to read.
I'll let you be the judge of whether I succeeded or not.
``Our sense of revenge is as exact as our mathematical faculty,
and until both terms of the equations are satisfied we can not get
over the sense of something left undone.''
-- Inazo Nitobe, Bushido
The typical lifecycle of a revenge scheme often starts with someone, a
person or a member of an organization, doing something wrong to you,
or someone close to you.
At that moment you, the victim, would most likely be in a state of
anger, hate or sadness.
At least you should be in a state where you wish to get even at the
one, or the ones, who wronged you.
The worst thing that could happen at this moment is that you sharpen
your swords of vengeance and go on right at it.
Revenge done in haste is such a waste, and the Sicilians did really
know what they were talking about when they were saying, ``Revenge is
a dish best served cold.''
It is time to sit back, heal your wounds and start plotting your
payback.
This could take months, and even years, depending on how severe the
offense was and how severe the payback should be.
It wouldn't surprise me if 50% of the avengers who get caught are
people who start their mission of vengeance at a time that is too
close to the crime.
I would also guess that 40% of the ones who get caught, did not act
out of a plan.
Or they planned it badly without thought or skill.
There rest 10% are the ones who simply get unlucky, where the unknown
plays a factor that is not calculable.
The life-span of a general revenge scheme should therefore start with
the offense, continue with a great deal of patience, evolve through
thorough planning and reconnaissance, reconsidered, and if necessarily
some more patience, until you one day deploy your plan.
After that you have hopefully gotten your vengeance, then everything
related to this should be buried and forgotten.
You might also decide to forget it, that it's not worth the effort or
risk.
One different way of handling this is to make a list of all your
marks.
This list could be something as direct as a little database with
names, addresses, their crime and any other relevant and irrelevant
pieces of information.
Every now and then you get your list, fill in some gaps and delete
obsolete data.
When the right time comes you seem to strike out of nowhere, and
before the mark knows what hit him, you are gone again.
An advantage of this approach is that you can play several marks
against each other, and you could sit on your list for years, making
your marks less suspicious and unaware.
There might also be times when you really want your mark to know who
you are.
This would be in situations where you're participating in a direct
revenge, or prank-war.
This is a situation where nobody wins and should be avoided.
Still, if you entangle yourself into this kind of situation, make sure
that your mark can't document any threats or actions done by you, as
these cases tend to end up in a courthouse.
Electronic evidence and plans should be carefully encrypted, or it
might get used against you.
Also be aware of the fact that these types of wars have the tendency
of escalating to a point where things really get out of hand.
The best way is the safe way, without much chance of retaliation and
detection.
Patience, persistence, planning and then finally the realization.
After the patience comes planning, and with planning comes
surveillance.
Every fact and every detail about your mark should be gathered and
organized.
The more you know about your mark, the better.
This involves information about his home and work address, telephone
number, email address, habits, bank accounts, his social security
number, wife, lovers, children, his fear, what he likes, dislikes, car
license plate, daily and weekly routines, hobbies, religion, etc.
When all the pieces are gathered, you'll have a concept of who your
mark is, and you may determine which way to get back at him would be
the most efficient.
This is where your plan forms and it should include all the ``what,
when and how's'' that you can come up with.
The plan should also have contingency plans that describe how to act
if you're exposed, and how to act if your mark or the authorities
confronts you later with your deeds.
Still, no-matter how well you have planned and executed your revenge
scheme, there's always the chance that you'll end up among the 10%
unlucky ones.
One net.friend of mine once said, ``Be prepared to do the
time for the crime,'' and indeed, if you can't afford getting caught,
then you shouldn't do anything at all.
All around the world there are people in prison, people who thought
they would never get caught, some of which are very smart.
A few tings to always keep in mind
Here are a few things to always keep in mind:
Never use your own telephone. Why? Because your target can
then track you with ease.
It really only takes a caller-id and an increasing number of
people are getting it.
Also, the telephone companies could be logging all the calls that
we make.
Use a phone-booth away from your vicinity and the path where you
usually travel.
Never drive to your mark's house with your own car.
People you know might see it, and later when your mark asks
questions, it may surface again.
Never work with your bare hands uncovered.
Even if you have never been fingerprinted in the past, such as for
a military service, there is no guarantee that this luxury will
continue.
Wear gloves instead, but don't throw them away at the crime scene
or you may be forced to try them out in a courtroom.
Never let anyone see you.
This might sound obvious, but wearing black clothes at night might
be a good idea.
Just don't stand out too much from your surroundings.
Sometimes dressing casual might be better than dressing dark, and
camouflage gear is definitely out of the question.
Never talk to anyone about what you have done.
If someone confronts you with the issue, act ignorant.
This is where many people fail and get caught.
They have a trusted friend, who has a trusted friend, who has a
trusted friend, etc.
Never steal anything, unless you plan to throw it into a
river before you get home.
It would be real hard to explain if someone found an object
belonging to your mark at your place after he has had a break in.
Never use your own handwriting or your own printer.
Even if you try to forge the handwriting it is possible that they
might trace it back to you.
A printer or a typewriter will also have its own characteristics,
often there is a character with certain distinction due to wear
and tear.
The best thing is to use one at a university, a school or one
that is otherwise publicly accessible.
Never use saliva on stamps and envelopes.
DNA analysis is now a fact of life.
People have been convicted because they did this.
Water from the spring will do just fine.
Never involve an accomplice, unless it is absolutely necessary.
The fewer who know about your work, the better it is.
Even if that other person is someone you trust with your life, it
still increases the risk when more people know about it.
Never threaten your mark.
If you threaten your mark then he knows you'll be up to something.
He'll also know where to start looking when something has happened
and what names to fill under suspicious persons in the entry box
of a police report.
Never mail a letter from or near your home city/town, workplace, etc.
Use a re-mailer-service instead, or a trusted friend from out of
town.
Never buy supplies from a local dealer, and never use your
credit card or check in the purchase.
These are obvious, but unfortunately easy to forget when you don't
plan things thoroughly.
Never leave written documentation, like name, address,
etc. at a place where it may be found.
If you are storing such information on your computer, then make
sure to encrypt it first.
These precautions might seem a bit paranoid, but I bet that about 90%
of everyone who ever get caught didn't pay enough attention to
planning or one of the precautions above.
Some of the tactics in this book might break some of the rules above,
but then again you are allowed to use your own head to evaluate the
risk.
After all, you are the one who will pay the penalty for failure.
Long distance revenge
``If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on
judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward
them that hate me.''
-- Deuteronomy, Ch.32, V.41
When your mark doesn't live in your vicinity, there are two channels
for you to use.
The first is the old classical postal system.
The other is any electronic wire, like a telephone or a computer
network.
Danger of detection
The danger of being detected while using one of these channels increases with
how advanced the technology is.
This basically means that the old postal system is the safest and
easiest to use, and that everything that is being done on a computer
network, like the Internet, is being log-filed; and unless you're a
wizard, you're most likely to be detected, tracked and caught.
Telephone precautions
Using the telephone might seem like a safe channel, as you could be
sitting on the other side of the planet, plotting, preparing and
executing your revenge.
Do not be fooled by this distance as it takes no more than a caller-id
to give away your identity.
The first rule of long distance telephone revenge is therefore to use
a pay phone which isn't located too close to where you live, work or
travel.
You should never call the mark directly, at least if he was a close
friend or someone you have seen or talked too often.
Changing your voice with a piece of cloth, a voice-scrambler or any
machine-manipulation helps little the conversation might be recorded
and it is often possible to reverse that manipulation.
The only good solution to this is to involve a third party, preferably
a secondary mark who you can call, posing as the primary mark.
You might also use a trusted friend to make the call to your mark.
The mail system
One of the most classic, non-creative, ways of getting even through
the mail system is by using those rip-out order forms found in
commercial catalogues and magazines.
Pull out the card and ask for information, order a product or
subscribe to the magazine.
All you need to know is the mark's name and address and within a few
minutes of work you'll be able to help him receive tons of annoying
paper.
You could also use this method to help him buy ``bill me later'' goods.
This isn't considered revenge art but still one scheme that has worked
for thousands over the years.
The power of empty messages
A different approach, one which has a psychological touch, is to send your
mark empty envelopes.
Make them arrive from different locations with different handwriting
over a period of, say, 2-35 years.
There are many variations to this tactic.
You could, for instance, send the envelope opened, indicating that
someone is stealing his mail.
You could include a single piece of paper with words like ``DEATH!'',
``LIAR!'', ``THIEF!'' or whatever seems appropriate.
The idea here is not to threaten the mark directly, but to remind him
of what he is.
Just don't write anything that might expose you as the originator of
the messages.
Annoying non-smokers.
One thing that you can do if you are sending a letter to someone who
isn't a smoker, is to include cigarette ashes in the envelope.
This fuels the fire caused by any rude or annoying letter.
Unpaid post
Each country and state has different routines when it comes to
handling unpaid post.
In Norway, for instance, it is quite possible to send unpaid mail, and
if that happens, the post office sends the bill to the recipient. This
can easily be exploited.
Get some pre-printed labels of your mark's name and address, then put
them on to a random number of envelopes and post them over a random
period of time.
You may want to check this scheme on yourself to see if it works.
It is vital that you don't put too many envelopes into the first
mailbox, because that will just trigger the post-office's suspicion.
One nice variation, if you have a secondary mark, is to put the
primary mark as the sender and then the secondary mark as the
recipient on the envelope, or vice versa.
If you hate the whole town that you live in, find a telephone
dictionary and make every citizen the recipient, i.e. one on each
envelope, and then the primary mark the sender of all the envelopes.
Forged letters
Forging letters in other people's name is illegal, but as long as you
never get caught, is there really anything to worry about?
Now for some examples using forged marks names.
Send a letter to your nation's custom department, asking for
a permit to import narcotics.
You ought to write this out with information saying that you have been
a drug addict for a long time, and that you can't afford buying it on
the street anymore.
Write that it is for personal use only.
It would even be better if your mark really is a drug abuser.
Send a letter to the local church, where you ask about the
Christian view on sex with children.
Tell them that you've read the bible, but that you couldn't find
anything there stating that it is wrong.
Also state that you're trying to quit, but that the temptations are
hard to handle.
Send a letter to his landlord, saying that you'll be moving
shortly.
Give the landlord a specific date, and tell him that he'll be on
vacation until the days before the move.
If you're lucky, the landlord might start looking for new tenants
without even confronting your mark.
This is also a great scheme if the landlord is a secondary mark.
Browse the job market, and apply for positions in your
mark's name.
Give his new employer all sorts of peculiar, suspicious or incredible
references, as if he has been working in your country's leading
positions and attending at the best Universities.
The object here is to have the employer go checking those references,
as if these references don't add up, then there most certainly could
be legal problems for your mark.
Apply for membership in certain groups, such as KKK,
Jehovah's Witnesses, NAMBLA (North American Men and Boy Love
Association), or anything controversial.
Or subscribe them to annoying book clubs like the Reader's Digest.
Find something the mark really hates or fears and sign him up there.
Apply for credit cards, etc.
You will probably need your mark's social security number to do this.
You will not be able to use them, it's just that it will really make
him wonder when he hasn't applied for the credit cards and they start
arriving in the mail.
It might even make him think that someone is working a scheme to abuse
them, but that it is somehow failing.
Get an address change form, found at the post office.
Make his new address somewhere isolated, or have it forwarded to any
known criminal.
Write a letter to the reader's section of his local
newspaper, or the university newspaper.
You'll have to customize the letter to fit the crime, but you could do
anything from complaining about his boss/company to write something
that would be considered inappropriate with his friends.
Sending letters to your mark from a secondary mark might
also work nicely.
A computer and a scanner are all you need to copy off and make fake
letterheads.
The original letterhead can often be retrieved by sending the
secondary mark a simple inquiry about something trivial, and then scan
the letter head from the reply note.
Use a work or campus computer to print out the letter.
Write a letter from your mark's bank to your mark, saying
that his whole loan is due and that he has to pay it back immediately,
or they will go to court.
You ought to come up with some clever reason, for instance that
another company has bought the bank, and that they're now in the
process of closing the business.
Date the letter a few weeks back before sending it, and time it to
arrive on a Saturday.
Write a letter from the local hospital, asking your mark to
come in for a checkup.
Explain that a client with AIDS has named him as a past sexual
partner.
Name a doctor at the hospital, which should be a secondary mark, and
tell your main mark that he should just come over as soon as
possible.
Send him a letter from magazines like Playboy or Playgirl,
thanking him for the photographs he sent them to the reader's
Husbands/Wives section.
This is a good scheme to play out on an ex, where you also could send
the letter from a magazine that's not easy to find in your area.
Send a letter from his teacher to his parents, describing
him as a hopeless problem child.
This could be implemented nicely if the teacher is a secondary mark,
where you would write that you, the teacher, would like their boy to
be at school after school-time, because you feel that you are so close
to him, and that you feel that you can communicate really well with
him.
The teacher would be sounding like a really strange one, and the kid
would be left with councilors.
Write a letter from the local tax collector, where you
question his ability to buy a new cabin cruiser with as little as he
earns.
Demand that he explain this, and why the same cabin cruiser isn't on
his tax report.
Write that there most likely will be an investigation, and ask him to
come over to the office at a specific date.
Write a letter from the local TV station, telling your
mark that he has won a $12,000 car.
Tell him to meet at the TV station at a specific time, like a late
Saturday evening, for an interview.
Junk mail
Junk mail can be pretty annoying.
It's a good thing that there's plenty of stuff to do with the
reply-envelope, though.
Just remember to remove any references like your name, address and
customer identification before you do anything.
Abuse of business reply envelopes is a violation of postal service
regulations in some countries.
Junk mail and glue.
Glue some pieces of paper together.
Put them into the reply-envelope and glue the entire envelope
together.
This sounds pretty harmless, but imagine the poor fellow trying to
pull that sucker open without tearing it.
Cross-mail your junk mail.
Just take company A's order-form and swap it with company B's junk
mail.
This makes great fun when you swap the porn catalogue with the local
church's request for donations.
Junk mail as bug-transportation.
You can send cockroaches and other bugs back to the junk mailer.
Just put sugar in the reply-envelope and glue it real well so the
recipient'll lose his patience and rip it open.
Handling junk mail
Personally, when the junk mail has my address on it, I usually just
use their postage pre-paid envelopes and write a ``nice'' statement,
saying that I don't care much for their business.
Norwegian law clearly states that if a customer wishes to be taken off
of a mailing list, they can simply by asking to be removed from the
database.
This is not really revenge, but still a good solution as I get almost
no addressed junk mail.
I don't get much unaddressed junk mail either, the reason for this is
that one can reserve oneself from getting it.
All you need to do is to put a sticker on your mailbox.
Mail revenge warning
Before we move on to the telephone section, I must urge you to please
keep in mind that most of the mail scenarios are illegal in several
countries.
In fact, they're a federal offense in some cases, punishable by stiff
fines and jail sentences.
If you choose to do it anyway, use a mailbox located far away from
your house, perhaps in a neighboring city or town that has a different
post office and stamp.
The larger the city or town, and the further from your own residence,
the better.
Also keep in mind not to use your own saliva to lick the stamps, and
not to get fingerprints on letters or envelopes.
Conceal your handwriting as well.
Read the precautions section carefully before commencing revenge by
mail.
The telephone
There are certainly several critical aspects about using the telephone
in revenge schemes.
I have already mentioned these in the previous safety section, but
since I feel these are important issues, I'll keep nagging about them,
like I did in the last paragraph in the previous chapter.
Precautions ad teidium
First issue is to never forget that there are many people who have
caller-id on their telephone, that there's always a risk of being
recognized by the person on the other side, and that he could be
recording your conversation.
If you're calling from a pay phone using a slightly different accent
than the one you use everyday, talking through a device that changes
your voice and use gloves or a cover when touching the pay phone, then
you should be fairly safe.
That is, unless someone sees you use the pay phone at that specific
moment, using all that gear, causing them to wonder what lunatic is on
the phone.
When the mark knows your voice, it would be safer to have a trusted
friend lend you his voice, or involve a secondary mark who doesn't
know your voice.
Basics
The most basic way of getting even by using the phone system is to
call a business and pretend you're the mark, then order something from
them.
This could be a pizza restaurant, any magazine (subscription), hotel
(order rooms), travel agency (order tickets) or someone who could be
delivering gravel at your mark's house, preferably when your mark is
on a vacation.
The downside about these tactics is that you'll be involving a third
party, and since your mark could just deny ordering a pizza, the loss
would be on the shoulders of that innocent person or company and not
your mark.
Still, if you have any secondary marks, like if you were wronged by a
travel agency, this kind of tactic could be appropriate.
There are variations of this tactic that might be more effective.
Stopping supplies
You could call the company that supplies gas or electricity to your
mark and tell them to shutdown the gas/electricity supply.
The best time to do this is at a Friday morning or noon.
When your mark returns from work that evening he'll be greeted with a
house without electric power, and the best part is that he won't have
any until the electric-workers return to work after the weekend.
To complete this last one, call the phone company and have his phone
shutdown, tell them he is moving.
Also call his ISP (Internet Service Provider) and tell them that you
won't need their services anymore.
Cancel all his magazine/newspaper subscriptions and then call his
credit card issuer and tell them that his card was stolen,
impersonating him.
You may get questions about birth date, address and such, so be
prepared before you make the call.
Phone terrorism
The next level of payback by using the phone is much similar to the
old telephone harassment.
There are still ways to exert this in a creative way
without becoming as boring as the call-your-mark-and-hang-up schemes.
One way of doing this is to simply call your mark.
Let it ring once or twice and then hang up.
Do this randomly, day or night for increased effect.
When the mark is asleep he'll wake up just long enough to not get a
stable good nights sleep.
At days he might even get annoyed enough to call the phone company,
thinking that something is wrong with his phone.
A different approach is to call your mark in the middle of night,
about 5AM and pretend to be a hyperactive telemarketer who is selling
encyclopedias.
Pretend that you're calling from a different time zone, and if he
confronts you with the time in his zone then just carry on with the
sale.
If he wants the number to your boss, either give him the number to a
secondary mark or the number to a police chief in the appropriate time
zone.
This works great when your mark is a salesman who has somehow wronged you.
Wakeup calls
Wakeup calls are often used by pranksters, but they also make good use in
light revenge schemes.
The problem is just how to make the order call as some of the services
require that you call from the some phone you want a wakeup at.
At present, in the US, you can go to a web-page,
www.mrwakeup.com and order a wakeup call.
This web-page may be down when you read this, but there are always
other alternatives.
The same goes for fax-back services found at
www.intellifax.com and I am sure various other web-pages.
Just remember that the services provided may log your IP and track the
request back to you, more of this in section 2.4.
Collect calls
Another way of dealing with real long distance revenge is to call your
mark collect, pretending to be his father.
Give the operator his father's name and when you're connected, cough
and grumble or just try to not expose who you are until some time has
passed.
This one is a bit tricky, but it might have the double effect that it
hurts the mark's phone-bill in addition to making him worry about
whether his father is alright or not.
Obscure calls
It's also really fun to just call your mark in the middle of the
night, pretending that it is he who is calling you.
Act confused, act tired, act annoyed and cranky.
Threaten to report him to the police and finally slam the phone down.
Spontaneity is a key factor here.
Making ``appointments''
In situations where you have a trusted friend at your side, the number
of plays increases, especially if your friend is of the opposite sex
from your mark, and that friend has a good imagination and great
skills in acting.
A date?
One thing a friend could help you do is call your mark, tell him that
she had seen him somewhere and that she (or he) would like to date
him.
Of course your friend would never meet at the date, but if you manage
to play the mark, then he will.
Implied adultery
When the mark lives with a spouse or a girlfriend you, or your trusted
accomplice, could call her up when you know he won't be there.
When the spouse picks up the phone, present yourself.
When she has given her name, you proceed by telling her that you're
his (the mark's) girlfriend/fiancée and that she must be his sister.
Continue without letting her interrupt by saying that the mark is such
a good guy who takes care of her.
Act surprised when she tells you who she is.
Explain that it must be a misunderstanding, that you've dated him for
quite some time.
This requires that you have some time and locations where you were
supposed to be together with him, and that you'll have to survey him a
bit in advance.
Also be ready to answer tricky questions, such as personal questions
about the mark.
Just don't give his new love your real name.
The idea is to make your mark's spouse suspect that something is going
on between you and your mark.
To increase the paranoia that this scheme could cause, start calling
them at random times, and just hang-up the phone if it is answered.
Variations
You could also pose as the mark's former gay lover, actually there are
a lot of ways to do this since these tactics works in both directions.
It all depends a bit on how much you know the person you're supposed
to be with, and how well your mark knows you or your friend's voice.
Pagers
Pagers are also fun to play with.
Just page your mark and leave another pager number.
Leave his own telephone number or leave the phone number of his boss,
a local drug dealer, the local police chief or some 800-number phone
sex line.
Page secondary marks and have them call your primary mark and vice
versa.
Fax machines
There are also things that you can do with a fax machine.
Just remember most fax machines print their telephone numbers on the
top page of the page they're sending.
I advise to you check on this first, unless you're in a situation
where you want the mark to know who are sending him the garbage, or
you are borrowing the fax at an office where they don't know you.
Infinite faxes
One known way to exploit faxes is to make an eternal loop by gluing
the end of the fax paper to the start of it.
Call the mark's company and let the fax run for a whole weekend.
You can also create a single piece of paper with the text
System Error 1207: Internal controller failure
then make another paper with the text
disconnect the machine and contact qualified repair
personnel
Send both pages, or loop them, on a late Friday afternoon and hope
that they'll go for it.
Big companies
When your mark works at a big company then it is likely that someone
will read or at least have a look at the fax for sorting purposes.
Send your mark a page with a big heart from his lover of the opposite
of his sexual preference.
Black magic
An old fax trick is to loop completely black pages to your mark's fax.
This trick is particularly nasty to play on old thermal-paper faxes,
which might even be ruined by the heat caused by only printing black.
Other faxes will spit out paper and ink worth dollars.
Handling telemarketing and pranksters
I think that I'll spend the last parts of this telephone revenge
chapter by giving you a few ideas about what to do with telemarketers
and other phone pranksters.
Now, since I don't know which country you will be reading this book
in, I would have no clue about what legal aspects of this that you
should be careful about.
Just remember that the telemarketer will know who you are when they
call.
Shocking the telemarketer
One way of behaving is by giving the telemarketer the impression that
he has dialed some S&M freak.
When you hear that it is a telemarketer on the other side of the
line, go ahead by yelling, ``Get back into the cage ya bitch!'' as if
you were in the midst of something when he called you.
You could also hit the couch a couple of times and have a friend
scream in the background.
End the conversation with, ``I gotta go, my
dog/cat/girlfriend/boyfriend is being disobedient.''
Asking questions
When a telemarketer calls you, and you are bored, try starting all
kinds of dumb questions about the product, like as if you're a bit
retarded.
After a while when they hang up on you, call them back.
Either do a *69 (if you live in USA) or use a caller-id, and demand
that you talk to their boss.
Complain about their rude treatment.
Being rude
When the telemarketer is of the opposite sex, actually same sex also
works, start asking about her/his underwear, what type of sexual
positions she/he likes and so forth.
Sometimes the telemarketers might ask for a specific person, e.g. the
lady of the house.
When they do, begin sobbing and explain that she/he was killed in an
automobile accident the preceding day, and ask if this is some sort of
sick joke.
Calling back
Tell them that you're very interested in their offer, but that you are
very busy at the moment.
Ask for their home number and tell them you will call them there
later.
If they say ``No, sorry, etc.,'' then respond sternly, ``Oh, so you
don't want anyone bothering you at home, huh?'' then hang up.
If they give you the number, then use it as toilet graffiti or
something.
Being gross
Tell them something like, ``Hold on. I am going to get the cordless
phone, so I can continue this conversation while I use the restroom.''
Pause for a second or two and then continue.
If they didn't hang up, make grunting sounds plopping and make sure
you flush the toilet a few times.
If they don't hang up by now, make comments like ``I don't remember
eating corn?'' and ``can someone get me some toilet paper.''
If that doesn't get them, then tell them to call back later because
the toilet overflowed and you need to clean it up.
A quickie
A quick way of ending a conversation with a telemarketer is to just
say something like, ``I am not allowed to talk to anyone until my
assault case has been heard.''
Then just hang up.
Obscure payment
When you're not in a real hurry and there's a telemarketer calling,
pretend to be really fired up about their product.
When the time comes to close the purchase, try to use your Sears card
or Zellers card something that is not viable currency, then insist
that the company is at fault for not taking that card.
Handling pranksters
People always seem helpless when they're facing telephone-pranksters.
I guess one method of finding them is either using a callback (known
as *69 in the US) or you can have an operational caller-id.
Still neither will do you any good if the pranksters are calling from
a pay phone.
One way is to do the good old whisper silently in the beginning then
suddenly make a horrible scream or you could blow in a whistle.
You can also bluff them by saying that you have a caller-id, and that
you now know who they are, and that you will visit them tonight.
Also advise them to stay away from the windows because you'll have a
shotgun with you, or your killer dog, Jaws.
Boring music
One way of dealing with both telemarketers and prank callers is to
have some utterly boring music taped on either your answering machine
or your tape recorder.
Just tell them to wait a second then play the music for about 10
minutes, they'll surely hang up.
Equal treatment
Telephone harassment can also be met with the same attitude back.
If a sick man calls you in the middle of the night, talking about your
underwear, then steer the conversation over to his little penis.
Say that you can't possibly fall for someone who ain't taller than
6'5", and that someone with such a tiny little penis could probably
never satisfy you.
This might be a bit dangerous as you might manage to get the person
coming over to your house to show you his real penis, but usually this
should stop them, as they're probably not used to being talked to that
way.
Another way of reacting is by acting calm, talking in a firm,
unaffected voice saying, ``Oh, no. I am sooo afraid. I think I am going
to call the police and tell them that the bad man at XXX-XXXX on my
caller-id is harassing me.''
Then hang up.
The Internet
``newbie n.: (Originally from British public-school and
military slang variant of 'new-boy') A USENET neophyte. Criteria
for being considered a newbie vary wildly; a person can be called
a newbie in one newsgroup while remaining a respected regular in
another.''
-- The Hacker's Dictionary
The Internet is one of the most difficult arenas to carry out safe
long distance revenge.
The reason for this is that everything that is being done is being
log-filed.
Regarding logging
If you log in on your net account, then there's a program that writes
information about who you are and when you login, into a file.
When you access a web-page, then the web-server logs the time and your
computer's address.
The same goes for every kind of Internet service, they all keep a log.
This is done so that they can trace any connection back to the
originator.
Basics
One secure way of getting even through the net, is by using a computer
where you don't have to give away your login name and password, and
where nobody can confirm that you were at the terminal, behind that
keyboard at that specific time.
This situation becomes real when you're at a public terminal at a
library, or in an Internet café where nobody knows you or can prove
that you're at the terminal at the specific time.
There are also some limitations on carrying out your revenge from a
library computer.
One is that you can't access programs that you normally would have on
your system, unless the library gives access to disks, which they
rarely do for security reasons.
If you try to grab something out of your own account or web-page, then
it will be logged and things could be traced back to you.
The tools that you most often are limited to are therefore a
WWW-client, Telnet and FTP.
Knowledge in using and understanding how these tools work is
essential.
Another problem with the net is that things change at an incredible
pace.
Things that seem obvious and easy today will most likely change even
before this book is released.
This is really why I would not recommend newbies to try to get even
through the net.
Now for a few ideas.
Internet revenge ideas
The first thing you need to do, as said, is getting access to a
publicly available computer without giving away your identity.
When this is done, you may enter the web-browser configuration,
changing the name and email to the one of your mark.
This will lead newbies to believe that it is your mark who is at the
console, the more advanced Internet users will recognize the
difference.
The next thing to do might be to put out a few contact ads with your
mark's name, address and phone numbers on.
Use every source available like alt.sex.wanted and
alt.personals on the Usenet.
On the web there are many contact ad sites.
You should save time by finding these sites and others in advance, and
writing them onto a piece of paper.
When forging contact ads in his name becomes boring, try selling stuff
in the market groups or through appropriate web-walls.
There are many places on the net where you can leave his name and
E-mail address for subscriptions on things like magazines and web-page
updates.
Search the net for a little while and you will easily find such services.
The nice thing about mailing lists is that the mark would have to go
searching through a lot of text to find out how to unsubscribe from
them.
One way to give your mark a lot of negative attention is to just be
obnoxious on the net.
You can start spamming (posting commercial ads or make money fast
schemes) to various newsgroups or you can behave like a real obnoxious
asshole (flaming).
There is still a chance that this might not have any effect, as there
are many idiots out there already.
A different approach might be needed.
Send an email to his system-administrator where you write that he will
not be needing his Internet account anymore.
Don't forget to mention the bad service you've been getting and that a
slow feed is mainly the reason for changing ISP.
E-mail requests to various other ISP's requesting prices, ask for a
subscription.
Dealing with Internet harassment
There are many people who have experienced being harassed on the
Internet.
This often becomes very frustrating, especially if you're a newbie and
don't know how things work.
Oldtimers don't want to teach you anything; they just want you to go
away, so that you can't bother them with your simple questions.
This is, of course, dependent on what environment you operate in, but
in general, you'll experience it as something really tough to fight,
because you'll never see or hear the offender.
All that you will see is a cryptic message header, which doesn't
really say much to someone who hasn't got a clue.
So, what do you do?
When you receive an abusive message, being through electronic mail or
in any Usenet group, the first thing you should do is to try to figure
out as much as you can about the sender.
Save the message, with the complete header, or print it out if
necessary.
If you think that the origin of the message is clear, then you could
forward the whole message (with all headers intact) to the offender's
system administrator.
The system administrator has email addresses like abuse@(domain),
postmaster@(domain) and support@(domain).
You should also report the abuse to the police if you find it serious
enough, and if it is a student you should report him to the Dean of
Student Affairs.
If it makes references to your race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation,
you may also want to contact The American Civil Liberties Union or one
of various group-oriented civil-right groups like the NAACP, JDL,
ADL, Americans with Disabilities or ACTU-UP, or similar groups in your
country.
There is one, rather annoying presence on the net.
The name of the menace is spammers.
Spammers are the Internet's version of junk mailers, posting both to
Usenet groups and your personal mailbox.
They are either trying to sell you something, or make you interested
in some pyramid scheme.
You might avoid them by posting anonymously, i.e. posting on the
Usenet without using your real email address, but in some way or
another they always seem to find your mailbox.
It doesn't help much to send out mail-bombs (logical mail bombs, which
is either to send in hundreds of duplicates or a few huge messages),
threats don't work either, simply because these individuals are
experts in hiding their identity and most often their reply address is
bogus.
However, to be able to sell you a product, they need a way for
customers to reach them.
This could either be a web-page or a telephone number.
If an 800-number is mentioned in the message, then don't hesitate to
call them up and complain about the spam.
One guy who wanted to get even with a spammer who left his 800-number
in the spam, wrote his own sex-spam and posted it to the alt.sex.*
groups.
It sounded somewhat like, ``Hot sex talk, absolutely free, no hidden
charges, no 900-number call-back, no credit cards required -- call
(spammer's telephone number) and talk to a wet babe!'' -- one might want
to add, ``for a limited testing time only.''
This is just an example on how one can handle spam.
Another way is to write a complaint to the producer of a product, from
whom the originator of the spam is the dealer.
You should also know that there are agencies that you can report
pyramid schemes to, like in the US you have the fraud department of
IRS, National Fraud Information Center and Bureau of Consumer
Protection.
You also have http://www.fraud.org/ which is the Internet
Fraud watch.
Spammers are picking up your
email address at both
the Usenet (news) and web-pages.
If you don't want to be bothered by these junk mailers, I suggest you
don't leave your email address around on the net.
If you have a good news reader, you can alter your email address
slightly, to your@address.remove, or you can set up an
auto-responder with your real email address, try sending a mail to
viking97@ekran.no, and you'll see what I am talking about.
There are many decent news clients that have a killfile system.
I recommend that you do not use Microsoft Internet Explorer or
Netscape Communicator, but that you find programs like knews, tin or
slrn for Unix or Forte Free Agent for Windows.
``A man's greatest work is to break his enemies, to drive
them before him, to take from them all the things that have been
theirs, to hear the weeping of those that cherished them, to take
their horses between his knees and press in his arms the most
desirable of their women.''
-- Genghis Kahn
Destructive payback has both its advantages and disadvantages.
One thing in particular that you should consider is the fact that many
people have their property insured, and although you may momentarily
put the mark into agony, the real cost are often carried by the
innocent insurance companies.
There might be a fixed price that the owner must cover before the
insurance company starts paying any damage.
You better check this out in any case.
Another problem with destructive payback is that you will be moving a lot more
closer to the mark and/or his property.
This automatically put you in jeopardy of being exposed, and this is
paticulary bad as you as well could in conflict with the law.
This is why these schemes are the ones that should be most carefully
planned before being carried out.
It is important that these plans include the daily routine of your
mark, even though he might break this routine at any time.
When you have his routine you also have a better knowledge on how and
when to hit him.
A backup plan is certainly not the last thing you should think of
here, as you should know what to do upon being detected.
If it weren't for car alarms and locked garages, cars would be the
easiest of all targets. It still might be that your mark has his car
in his driveway, just locked, but still pretty much accessible. Your
research should already have given you ideas on how accessible your
mark's car is. Even though his car has a car alarm, there are still a
few schemes available for you to implement.
There's plenty of ways to ruin a car without using the old
non-creative ``slice-a-car-tire'' scheme.
Get some spray paint and spray-paint
some text onto
the side of his car.
Apparently some feminist group used this trick in Oslo/Norway, during
the mid-70'ties when they went along and sprayed ``whore customer!''
on the side of whore-customer's cars.
Other things that could be written includes, ``DRUG DEALER!'', ``I
cheated on my wife'', ``Registered sex offender'', ``Paroled rapist'',
``Child molester'' or simply ``I love to kill cats!''
Customized paint jobs.
A white car easily turns into a Dalmatian dog look-a-like by spraying
black dots onto it.
Cut a circle in a piece of cardboard if you want to do a neat job.
Other symbols might also be appropriate, depending on who your mark
is, like Nazi-symbols, inverted crosses, Satanic symbols, or just
anything that would really scare your mark.
Paint stripper.
At a supply store you can get a can of paint stripper.
indexcar!paint stripper
Gloves are recommended as this stripper is strongly acidic.
It only takes a couple of seconds to walk by a car with this.
Silicone sprayed onto cars also does wonders with the paint.
You might even check something called liquid scratch.
These schemes work great if the car is parked outside your mark's
apartment, and you only need the guts to do a little walk-by.
Bologna.
Bologna is said to have the most astonishing effect on car
paint.
Just place some slices on the hood of the car when it is a bit dewy
outside and let it dry in with the morning sun the next day.
The result is Polka-dot paint!
Attachments.
Small plastic lizard or other cute little kid toys
make nice hood ornaments.
Apply superglue of any sort and place them at the front of the hood
where some cars have their company shield.
You can also buy a corrosive or an oxidizing agent from your local
hardware store, pour it on your mark's exhaust or anywhere else where
it would have an effect.
Next is the windshield, which you can totally ruin by getting one of
those glue sticks that is used in hot glue guns.
Warm the stick in your hand a little and smear it out onto your mark's
windshield.
You can also use concrete sealant
which is a nasty, sticky liquid used
to waterseal concrete after it is poured.
When you've spread it on the windshield it will appear like a lovely
cloudy, yellow coating.
Wipers.
A different way to ruin a windshield is to first put some
glue onto the whindshield wipers,
and then add some sand onto the glue.
Just make sure the wipers don't get close to the windshield before the
glue has dried.
Next time your mark is using the wipers, he'll scratch up his own
windshield.
Other substances that do nicely on your mark's windshield include corn
oil, vaseline, tar or paint.
If you want to be subtle about it, you can pour it into an open
plastic bag and just throw it onto the windshield.
The heater intake vent.
When you're done playing with the windshield, pour a couple of eggs
down the heater intake vent on the car.
Wipe off anything that doesn't go in the vent so the mark doesn't know
it's in there.
They may notice a strange smell at first, but nothing compared to how
it will smell in a few days.
If you are out of eggs, try fox urine lure from your local hunting
supply store.
You can use a syringe to retrieve and deploy the fox urine from the
original bottle.
This way you can save yourself from the foul stench and at the same
time it will make it easier to spray the urine onto the rubber gaskets
or the coating that seals the windows and doors.
Other substances that fit nicely into the vent are milk, urine, strong
acids or liquid rust.
You can also make your own cocktail by putting some
shrimp-shells into
a bottle of water, then let it rest in the sun for a week or two, or
you could take a potato, slice a deep cut in it and scrub it with
dirt.
Put it into an airtight container filled with water and close it.
Bacteria from the mud will consume the potato, creating a foul
stench, granted there's no access to air.
An easy way to fix the tires is to remove or add the
balancing weights
from the wheels.
The tires will be out of balance and driving will not be good for
either the tires or the suspension.
The mark will have to spend some time and money on having a garage
rebalance the tires.
This next one requires some work, but if you get some trusted friends
with you, then you can put your mark's car on blocks and take off all
the nuts on the wheels.
Put super-glue on the threads of the bolts and screw on the nuts as
tightly as possible.
File the edges of the nuts so a wrench cannot easily grip them.
Puncture all four tires.
His mechanic will need literally weeks to get it back on the road.
Red loc-tite is better when used on fasteners.
Heat up the lug-nuts until they're red hot.
This will surely play havoc on aluminum rims and possibly warp brake
rotors.
The engine is usually the least accessible
part of your mark's car.
Still there are lots of things you can do if you're lucky enough to
get into it, or under it.
For instance, get two or three cans of shaving foam.
Open the hood of your mark's car and set them on the exhaust manifold
(that place will be hot).
You may need some duct tape to keep them in place.
When the engine warms up, the cans explode, covering the engine with
shaving foam.
If you use WD40 (oil) or deodorant, then the can will explode and the
car might catch fire.
This is not recommended as it might injure your mark or even innocent
bystanders.
Under the hood there is tons of stuff to do.
If you come prepared (as you should), you can drop a bolt (about
3/4 inch) into the sparkplug holes, and the cylinders
will fracture and total the engine.
At a hardware store you can buy a small can of butane,
the kind you use to refill a lighter.
Drill a small hole in your mark's distributor cap.
Squirt a small amount of butane in and quickly cover the hole with
duct tape.
When the car starts up, the sparking in the distributor will set off
the butane, blowing the distributor cap right off the engine.
Stealing the distributor will prevent your mark from starting the car.
Take the distributor cap out and run a graphite pencil over the rotor
blades/brushes, this will make the engine sputter and misfire.
There's a solution available from Force Ten that can turn oil into
Jello.
You can also introduce Styrofoam, naphtha or tide into the engine
oil.
The easiest way is to get under the car, with a container and a
wrench, then open the oil-screw beneath the car and let the oil run
into the container.
Tighten the screw and get yourself out of the area.
Often the oil-warning lamp will malfunction and the engine will be
totally inoperable.
Anti-freeze added to the oil turns it into a brown, milky foam.
Even if no direct damage is done, the mark and/or mechanic will think
there is a blown head gasket or a cracked head or block, leading to
very expensive repairs.
Move on into the battery compartment and put three or four
Alka-Seltzers into it, or some other substance like oil or soap.
Next, slide in under the front of the car, and poke a hole in the
lower radiator hose by using a sharp ice pick.
The puncture would close itself and everything would be just fine
until the engine gets up to a critical temperature and then the
coolant will blow out the hole.
The gas tank is also a popular place to stuff things into.
The most common being sugar,
but ping-pong balls slit halfway
through, filled with crystal Drano also does the job.
Use a balloon with a tiny hole or something similar, when you live in
the states where the hole ain't big enough for ping pong balls.
Crystal Drano is a chemical used to unclog pipes.
Tape the ping-pong ball together again after applying the Drano.
The ping-pong ball will dissolve in the gasoline, and when the Drano
gets in touch with the fuel a violent chemical reaction will occur.
Rumor has it that it'll even stand a van on it's nose.
My suggestion is that you leave this at the thought.
Other things to put into the fuel tank
could be crushed cork, silicone carbide or icing sugar.
Dissolve some mothballs in gas and add it to your mark's tank.
This will make the engine run hot.
The engine oil breaks down, and then the engine seizes.
It is hard to trace and damage is already done when person realizes
the engine is hot.
Sabotaging the fuel line could be done by making a hole in the fuel tank.
Afterwards you may call the fire department and they'll come tow the
car away and give the owner a stiff fine.
One way of getting back at your mark is to tie his car to something on
his house.
A front balcony might be just fine, or attach it to the doorknob on a
gardening house door.
Use a solid rope or a chain, about 20-30 yards is more than enough.
Cover it with sand or something.
The longer the rope is, the more speed he will have gained before
anything happens.
You can have a lot of fun with bumper stickers.
Get some sort of racially offensive bumper sticker and put them onto
his car. Survey the local area and find out what ethnic group is the most
militant, and use something that goes against that group in your
scheme. Otherwise, use generic ``White/Black Power'', or whatever.
If the car is parked next to a handicapped space, some pushing might
be all that is needed to move it into the handicapped space.
Put an anti-police bumper sticker on its bumper and call the
police. You could enhance this by putting a little bag of pot past the
doorframe where it can be seen.
At times your mark might be a neighbor who has a cheap car alarm
that constantly goes off.
This is a problem that might be solved easily.
I recommend you write a nice message on a piece of paper, wrap it
around a brick and place the brick on top of the hood of the offending
car whose alarm constantly goes off.
The message should say something like, ``Next time your alarm goes off,
this brick will go through your window - prick.''
This is more a solution than a severe revenge scheme.
Other schemes might include totally saran wrapping the mark's car
(coat it with blank plastic used to pack food), tucking it into
band-aids, or do like some students in Ohio who got their hands on a
large amount of plaster bandages, the kind wrapped around splints
which harden and form a cast.
It took four of them ten minutes to completely mummify the car, then
they ran a hose over it and hardened it solid.
On cold nights you may put a lawn sprinkler on the top of
your mark's car. Let the sprinkler run with just a little bit of
water through all the night. By morning there should be a thick layer
of ice coating the whole car.
Under the cover of a dark night, you could easily get an opportunity
to sneak into your mark's garden, do some damage and then get out
without getting caught.
During the day you would do better by not sneaking in, as it would
look strange.
Instead you should pretend to be a gardener, a pool caretaker, a cable
guy or even someone from the electric company.
Dressing up in stealthy clothing usually brings more attention than
wanted.
Dress casual, avoid sharp colours and you should be fine.
Salt works great for killing lawns permanently.
Use a relatively large quantity of sea-salt
and spread it around the whole lawn.
Similar effects can be achieved by using lime,
weed seeds or even diesel fuel.
For the artistic avenger I recommend writing anything from ``bitch!''
to ``asshole!''
Any simple word would do as long sentences and words are harder to
read.
Also, unless you're doing this at night, you should not set the fuel
on fire as it will make the grass die, where applied, and have the
wanted effect in less time.
The opposite effect is achieved by spreading fertilizer
onto the lawn.
It will cause the grass to grow twice as fast on the places where
you've spread it.
If you use too much fertilizer, then the grass will change colour.
Frosted flakes also look nice on a lawn.
Go to the mark's house late at night and spread the flakes out all
over their lawn.
The morning dew will moisten the flakes slightly, then the sun comes
out and bakes them into one huge frosted flake.
Later, when the ants come, it could get really entertaining.
Seagulls love bread, and one awesome way to feed them
is to throw bits
of old bread into your mark's garden at night.
At dawn the birds will discover the food and they will have a little
party on the mark's lawn.
The great thing about birds is that they just can't shut up while
partying, so they will most likely wake your mark up in the midst of
their feast, and they'll not leave easily either.
It is not a nice thing to do, but there have been some cases where
people have extended the previous scheme by adding alcohol to the
bread.
You can probably imagine for yourself what effect that might have
on the poor birds, especially if someone should call the police from a
phone booth, claiming that they saw the mark feed the seagulls
with alcoholic bread.
Plastic forks are great.
You can get huge quantities of them for a low price, and with fellow
avengers you can plant them into your mark's garden at night,
preferably when he's on a vacation.
This scheme might be mild, but fun to implement and gives quite an
annoyance for the mark.
Destroying a tree is easy.
Make a salt solution by adding water to salt, stir and then pour it at
the base of the tree.
Another way, one more obvious, is to strip about six inches of bark
round the tree.
This will prevent the nutrients produced by the leaves to get to the
roots for storage and vice versa.
You can also ruin your mark's tree by applying copper tacks
or nails.
Put them into the roots and clip off their heads, and they'll be as
good as invisible.
One method that I learned as an environmentalist (it was also featured
in an X-files episode) was to put huge steel nails into the tree.
When the mark, in this case a timbering company, came to cut it down,
they got their equipment ruined by the heavy-duty nail.
You should think carefully before implementing this scheme as the
chainsaw chain could snap and seriously injure the logger, and you
don't want to hurt an innocent person.
Your mark might not have such a big garden, but it could be that he
owns a garage.
There are limits to what you can do with locked garage, but
painting
stuff, like large dots, on the side of the garage is really something
to consider.
Your mark will have to spend both time and money removing it.
Inside his garage there are certainly several things that could be
done, but this depends a bit on who your mark is and what he has
inside his garage. Putting nails, the sharp ones with big flat backs which
are often used
to hang up posters, onto the garage floor is usually a good start.
Another annoying scheme can be as simple as putting rocks into your
mark's mailbox each morning.
This could be done before your mark goes off to work, or when he has
left.
Just remember what was said earlier about tampering with mail and
mailboxes, which in most cases are considered federal offences.
For the more advanced avenger I suggest building a pyramid of rocks on
your mark's lawn.
Most things can be thrown into your mark's lawn, things like garbage,
cod, pasta, paint, paper, eggs, defecation, images of Mao, rocks, porn
magazines, tomb stones and your mark's neighbor's things are all
popular.
One easy way to get back at your mark is to go to a hardware store and
buy a good lock.
You might have an old lock yourself, one that needs to be changed due
to rust or general wear and tear.
In these situations you could just use the new one yourself and then
put the old lock onto your mark's mailbox.
He might eventually manage to cut it off, but it'll cause quite an
annoyance.
Ants and other insects love honey.
Pour some honey into his mailbox, or fill the whole mailbox with
cement. Also if the mailbox has a flag, you can glue
it upwards using superglue.
Concrete walls make good arenas for walls.
Don't just tag the wall with random profanities,
be artistic about it as that will give it more attention.
There is a special kind of graffiti that really sticks around.
Get a big sheet of paper and write your message on it with liquid
Ajax
or Comet
(Depending on whether you live in
Europe on in the USA).
Take the paper where the wall is, douse it in lighter fluid, stick it
to the wall, make a lighter fluid trail away from the wall and light it.
The whole thing burns in about one second, so there is no fire danger
(unless you applied it to a material that easily burn), but your
message gets stuck to the wall by a chemical process, and it is almost
impossible to get it off without painting over it.
Crickets could become nice pets for your mark.
They are cheap, noisy and usually available at your local pet-shop.
Release them in the evening, or at night through your mark's window or
into the mail slot.
This is something you should time to be done the night before his
exam, or some other big event.
Do not do this if your mark lives in your neighborhood, as these
critters move around.
For the mark with a fountain
I recommend getting
some colouring dye, or if you wish to be more advanced; Kodak
and other chemical companies
sell certain classes of chemicals called surfactants.
These essentially make water more slippery.
In a fountain with low tolerance, water hits 1 inch from the edge.
A good surfactant can send the water splashing 3 inches beyond the
fountain pool.
This drains the fountain in short order, and burns out the pump.
There are certainly many other things that which you can apply to the
pool like oil, bubble bath, soap, cement, coloured dye, dead animals,
defecation, moth balls, dead or live fish, stuff bought at Taco Bell,
etc.
Sometimes people have problems with assholes driving by their mailbox,
beating it down with a bat, or plowing it down with a snowplow.
A working solution is to get two mailboxes, one large, one a bit
smaller.
Put the smaller mailbox into the larger and pour cement in between.
Now, just let the mailbox bashers come and break their arms.
This doesn't help much against snowplows though.
If you are up against something heavier, drive a heavy pipe into the
ground next to your mailbox.
Just make sure it reaches the top of your mailbox.
Paint the pipe black as a dark night.
In extreme situations, go to a scrap yard and get a 5-6 feet long
I-Beam.
Dig a hole, pour concrete into it and then plant the I-Beam.
This should work well against snowplower who can't see the difference
between the road and your mailbox.
It also works nicely as protection
against the
occasional youngsters who wish to drive down your mailbox.
There are some assholes who just can't leave your leaf-pile alone.
It could be that they're either driving through it, or kicking it all out.
In any case, your hard work collecting the pile would be for nothing
when this happens, unless you put the leaf-pile over a cinder-block or
something else that is hard and heavy.
The prick-head might run over it again, but will probably not repeat
it after doing it once with an iron block stuffed inside it.
The mark's home is his personal ground.
It is close to him, the place where he usually should feel safe and
private.
Violating this ground is often difficult, yet rewarding at the same
time.
Security and surveillance should be paid much attention in these
cases.
You don't have to be technical about it, actually it might be as easy
as sneaking into a party which your mark is having.
You could also get yourself some lock-picking equipment (and
experience) but then we would be talking about breaking in, and last
time I checked it was a still illegal to do so.
Dorm rooms are more easily accessible, but you would still be breaking in.
There are pages on the Internet talking about lock picking, one well
known originating from MIT is easily obtainable on the Internet.
College dorms have all one thing in common, shoddy
workmanship.
Due to the design of the doors, it is possible to wedge a number of
pennies between the doorframe and the door when the door is locked.
Push the door as far in as you can while it is locked, then wedge
pennies between the frame and the catch.
This is known as pennying a door.
It might be that a someone has already played this on you, and if you
want to escape through such a trap, simply pull the door towards you
as hard as you can, kick the door in the corner below the catch.
This should dislodge the pennies.
Dorm doors are also easy targets for signs
saying, ``Do not disturb!
Masturbating intensely!''
They should be as easy to make as tearing them down.
The more you go hanging them up after your mark has torn them down,
the more annoying they get.
You could also apply the old, glass'n'glue trick to this one.
Take a bucket of wallpaper glue and thoroughly crush some glass into
it.
Put some glue onto the door, hang up the poster, and then put glue
onto the poster.
This trick was widely used by political left-wingers in the 70-ties
when their posters often were torn down by their opponents.
If you want to make certain that nobody gets permanent injuries, I
suggest you leave the glass out.
One prankish way of getting back at your mark in a dorm, is to get a
few hundred plastic cups.
When the mark is away for the weekend, or the whole day, pick his door
lock and get into his room.
Fill the cups with water and place them one-by-one to cover the entire
floor in his room.
I suggest you find some friends to help you with this one.
One different prank that has been played at several dorms in the US,
where co-students had covered the dorm door with a
brick wall (makeing
the room disappear) while the mark was on a weekend holiday.
You can probably find references and pictures of this on the net.
Doors are nice targets for substances that have a foul stench.
Scramble some eggs.
Add some green food dye and a little bit of garlic salt.
Pour it all over your mark's door or doormat.
Let it soak in for a good while, while your mark is away for the
weekend.
Other things that you can smear onto doors are animal defecation, tar,
chlorine or something foul smelling mentioned earlier in the car
section of this book.
Any garden hose carrying water is a nice
tool for the ones seeking to get even.
Hook up the hose, push it through the mail-slot on the front door and
then simply turn it on.
A funny variation here is to use your mark's neighbor's garden hose.
You should also spray some kind of sealer at the bottom of the door to
make the house hold more water.
If you use a good window insulator, you might even be able to seal the
whole door shut.
Check around your local hardware store to find the best suitable
insulator.
Let's say that your mark is living in an area where they have
cable TV.
On the outside you will find one of the boxes
they use to connect the
main wire to the different houses.
Open the box, unhook wires, flip switches and do whatever seems good.
Close the box and get to a pay phone, call and tell the cable company
that you saw your mark messing around with the box.
This works great if your mark doesn't have cable.
You could also drag a wire from the box to his house.
Another thing you can do is to find where the cable is buried.
Dig it up, cut it and use some black tape
to cover the cutting.
The cable company will most likely need a few days to find the
error.
Use this tactic during the Olympics or any other big event.
If your mark is the cable company then do this at several places.
You can also short circuit the cable by putting a
metal piece into in,
e.g. use a needle or anything similar to connect the ground to the
main signal.
Quite a few of our previous readers have experienced situations where
their next door apartment neighbor is playing loud music at night,
and where reasoning with him doesn't help.
It might be frustrating, but there are ways to fight this kind of
neighbor.
Get a cheap plug-in radio and a large cardboard box.
Open one end of the box, put the radio in and tape the open end firmly
against the wall next to their bedroom.
Keep the box off the floor, no reason to disturb the ones downstairs.
Tune the radio to a station with any music that your mark doesn't
like.
The radio doesn't have to be very loud, the box acts as an
acoustic coupler to the wall.
The bigger the box the better.
Turn the radio on when you get up.
Off when you go to sleep.
Do this every day.
If anybody asks why just say you're afraid of burglars.
When the asshole next door stops by to complain, use the same
arguments that he used when you complained to him about loud music.
A different approach to the same problem could be to just get yourself
a large bowling ball.
Hold it up in the air and drop down on the floor.
Do this at random intervals throughout the day.
This naturally only works if it is the neighbor's downstairs who
causes you trouble.
A variation of this is to get a big weightlifting plate.
Put the plate on the floor and spin it around like you would with a
quarter on a tabletop.
Jump on the weight when it's just about to settle.
Now let's move into the bathroom.
These schemes would be executed at a party or at a public toilet.
Saran wrap is fun.
You can also wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl on your mark's
toilet and then put the seat down.
This works especially well if your mark is a woman.
Pour syrup on the toilet seat.
You can't readily see it, but your mark will stick to the seat.
Some toilets have black toilet seats.
Tar works nicely on these.
At night, or at least at a time when you suspect nobody would use the
toilet for a few hours, pour a large amount of
jello powder into the bowl or the tank.
Cement mix also works nicely. Also, the ketchup
packets you get at junk food restaurants can be
placed between the lid and the bowl.
Make sure to make a tiny hole in the packet first.
Now when your mark sits down, he will get a red surprise all over the
backs of his knees.
While you are in the bathroom, and in the close reach of your mark's
shower:
Take a pill capsule, preferably one made of gelatin.
Open it and fill with methylene blue,
which comes in powder-form used
mainly for dye, and can be bought in drug stores or aquarium-related
stores (as it is used as a remedy for some fish diseases.) It is non
toxic but still very good at making stains.
Fill the capsule with the powder.
Smear the capsule in with some Vaseline.
Insert it into showerhead.
When the mark uses the shower, the blue dye will leak out and stain
him.
You can also put a bouillon cube or two into the showerhead.
With the hot water, the bouillon cube will melt and the mark will
probably not notice until
it is too late. If you are out of bouillon, use Kool-Aid, preferably
the violet grape one, as it makes really good stains.
Nair or any other hair removal is a nasty replacement
for shampoo.
Applying Nair to a shampoo bottle might appear a bit complex.
The problem is that Nair has a distinct smell and if you use too much
of it, the mark will notice.
One way of fighting this is to pour some of the shampoo into a cup.
Add a little Nair at a time until you can smell it in the shampoo
bottle, then add a little bit of shampoo.
The result may vary from your mark losing all his hair to him losing
just big chunks of his hair.
If you suspect that the mark will have the shampoo in the hair for
just too short of a time, then put Nair into the conditioner instead.
After the bathroom, get into the kitchen and pick up some sugar.
Use this sugar afterwards in your mark's bedroom.
Just spread it out on his bed, under his bed sheets.
A thin layer of plastic between the bed sheets and the bed would cause
the body to heat up the sugar which you would put on the plastic.
When your mark wakes up he'll look and feel like a glazed donut.
Replace the sugar with milk powder
to get unbelievable results.
When the milk powder gets into the pores, it stays there and turns
sour.
Your mark will smell of sour milk for almost a week.
Chocolate bars in the bed sheets can also be a pain, even though it is
more obvious and easier to detect before any damage is done.
One scheme that works well in military quarters is to wait until your
mark is on leave.
Then sneak into his room and sew alfalfa into his bed.
Add a little bit of water and in a week or so it will grow up and make
a nice bed when your mark returns.
The kitchen is the last place on this tour.
This is a place where you could really go berserk, because there are
so many small items around in this room.
Mix the different spices or just swap salt and sugar.
Do the same with corn, wheat, oatmeal, or whatever he's got.
Pour the milk out and replace it with water.
Move round the different kitchen appliances.
Put a Snickers bar into his microwave oven and let in run for a while.
This will generate a foul stench, and it looks nasty too.
Put grease on the top of the stove, if it is electric.
There are things you can do to a gas-stove that I should probably not
mention here.
Let's just leave this to the movies and our fantasy,
exploding gas
is no fun.
Grease and soya oil is a pain to wash away.
Exploit this by pouring it around randomly.
Top it by spreading whatever combinations of wheat, flour, oatmeal,
corn, baking soda and spice you can find, onto the floor.
``It is not justice we seek, its revenge!''
-- Dilbert, in
Bring me the head of Willie the mail boy!
From working at quite a few places I have found that one can always
divide the workforce into three groups.
The friendly, the hostile and the hostile who have some kind of leader
position.
The first group would be your random work buddy which in most cases
would be almost all of the work force.
You don't want to mess with your buddies too much or they'll perceive
you as being one of the idiots in the hostile group.
Still a few shenanigans among friends
are common and in most cases bonding.
Just make sure you don't pick on the same friendly target each time.
I will only cover this briefly here as this book is not about pranks.
The strange thing about the two other groups are that they often seem
to collaborate.
The hostile in a leader position would actually find it very handy to
have some kind of informant in the group of ``common'' workers.
Slander and mischief expressed in this group would then get back to
him and he would know exactly who to fire or watch out for.
The traitor would benefit from this by being the first in line when
the word promotion is mentioned.
One thing you should be aware of is that there are always a leader who
is above your leader, either a major CEO, a minister in parliament or
even the customers of the business.
An old trick that has provided pranksters hours of entertainment is to
wait for your mark to take a little coffee break.
When your mark is away, grab his telephone and tape
down (using clear
scotch tape) the little button where the receiver sits.
When your mark returns, give him a little call and watch the
confusion.
A variation of this one is to place small pieces of tape over the
holes to the speaker.
Create a stupid rule or regulation.
If possible, make it seem like a rule that would be under your mark's
area of responsibility.
Print it on the company printer, and hang it up on a display board.
Write your mark's name at the bottom of the note and start complaining
(to everyone but him).
One similar idea involves putting up a police wanted poster with your
mark's name and picture on it.
Sending messages from one employer to another is another wonderful prank. This
could also be considered severe, but if you hide your tracks you need not
worry.
You might want be careful with the hostile co-worker.
This is typically the mark who goes behind your back, making quite an
effort to bring you trouble.
Whatever you do, go undetected and untraceable, because if these
individuals find out that you're somehow on to them they'll increase
their effort and make your working day even more like a living hell.
Copy-machines can be useful tools for your revenge purpose, the same
goes for FAX machines.
Invent something that looks conspicuous, put the paper into the
photocopier and leave it there.
Others will find it, wonder what is and have a look at it.
Finally they find your marks name on it and maybe confront him with
it.
Naturally he'll deny it and make everything look even more
conspicuous.
Themes that could be applied here are industrial espionage, or even a
scheme for a new system to monitor the work-force, supposed to be
hidden or at least not something that would be detected by your
co-workers.
Another popular scheme involves having a florist deliver flowers
to your mark.
Take a look in the yellow pages and find a florist who delivers
singing telegrams or a theatrical delivery.
The kicker here is to have the flowers sent from someone of the
opposite gender of your mark's attraction.
You can also play two marks up against each other on this.
This scheme could be brought a bit further.
Search your yellow pages or ads in newspapers for adult or
escort services.
Call them up and leave the phone number and mark's name in the
voice-mail or on their beepers.
This works best if someone else is likely to answer your mark's phone.
Grocery stores open up a whole new arena when it comes to revenge
tactics.
Take something as innocent as a bottle of bleach.
Unscrew the cap and make small puncture in the bottom of the bottle,
leave it sitting in the top of a cart or something.
Wait until the manager or the co-worker mark comes wandering by
looking at the bleach dripping at his floor, grabs the bottle and
turns it around, only to get the rest of it over himself.
Go to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish.
Just say it's for a customer.
Now when nobody's looking stick it way up under a cash register or far
behind an aisle.
In about 2 days the place will smell like somebody died.
If your store has radiators or heat sources, take a carton of cream
and open it up and put in the radiator.
It will smell like somebody shit and it will blow it all over the
store.
Get some maggots and drop them into their meat
case just before closing. Try to hide a rubber snake in the shrimp.
When the clerk grabs a handful of shrimp and pulls out the snake, it
should generate some sort of reaction.
Find the control panels for the freezers and coolers, randomly turn
them up and down.
These grocery stores schemes are best implemented if you are working
at the place and know how the surveillance system works.
Remember most stores have a thorough working surveillance system, so I
don't recommend doing anything if you are just a customer and don't
know the system.
Any computers that aren't behind locked doors or secured with a
password are easy targets for the computer literate avenger.
The great thing about computers is that you can do anything from
prankish stuff like changing the colour configuration of your mark's
PC to really ruining months or even years of work by killing the
hard-disk.
At the work place, one nice scheme involves installing graphic images
in the background on your mark's workstation.
This is as easy as changing the colours.
Either have the image ready in BMP format on a diskette or download it
anonymously from a location on the Internet.
One variation of this one involves manipulating images of a second
mark employee (by scanning the picture and merging it with another
picture from the said location on the Internet.)
This could lead to an interesting discussions between the two marks.
Altering the desktop configuration is also easy.
I have already mentioned changing colours, but you should not stop
there. For instance, remove all the icons from the desktop (and the menus)
and change the screen format to the lowest possible resolution with a
minimum of colours.
This is truly annoying and at worst it will take your mark an hour to
fix everything.
As the crime gets more severe, so should the punishment.
Consider any asshole who has been working on a project for months and
has all his work on his PC.
Your mark could be anything from a corporate office worker to a
student.
As long as he doesn't have a backup of his work, he is going to get
screwed.
There are certainly different ways to kill data, one being just to
erase them by typing erase/delete or using some kind of directory
browser.
In UNIX-like operating systems one can erase whole directories by
using the ``rm -rf (dir)'' command.
One problem that you still will face is the fact that some operating
systems don't delete the whole file, but rather the internal entry
saying where the file is located and the name of it, or parts of that
information.
This means that the data can still be restored with special undelete
programs.
To make it harder for your mark to restore data, you could make
yourself a boot-disk that contains the program fdisk and format.
The boot disk that Windows 98 supplies is sufficient for this purpose.
Use fdisk to delete and recreate the whole hard-disk, and then use
format to physically delete the data afterwards.
You can also low-level format the disk, if it is a SCSI disk.
Viruses are considered to be quite a menace and I wouldn't advise
using one even if you know what you are doing.
There are many virus-sites on the net, and some of them have live
viruses.
Download at your own risk.
There are also programs around that do not replicate themselves and do
less damage; these are mostly just annoying and therefore suitable for
the more mild revenge schemes.
Another easy way to mess up a computer is to play around in the
computer BIOS.
The BIOS menus are accessed at startup time, when the computer runs
checks on the RAM and the disks.
Usually you get a message on the screen saying that you can hit e.g.
DEL for the BIOS setup menu.
Do this and start playing around.
If the computer has an unset BIOS password, set it and the mark will
have to open the computer casing and reset the BIOS completely.
Avengers who don't want to mess around with the software could still
do a lot of damage to the hardware.
Open the computer, usually by just using a screwdriver,
and
have a look at the inventory.
You will find that there are banks of RAM, cables, mainboard, drives
and one or more CPUs.
If you take a look at the CPU you will find that it usually has a
heat-sink attached to it.
Remove it, and the CPU will get hot and eventually it will malfunction
or it might even get cooked with permanent damage.
Removing one or more RAM banks could be useful, but you should leave
at least one or the computer will not start, unless that was your idea
in the first place.
More subtle avengers would simply put a screwdriver into the
fan, causing it to deform and make a lot of noise while in operation.
At worst it could malfunction causing heat to build up in the
computer.
Removing the CPU fan is even better, but you would have to open the
casing to do this.
When everything above seems like too much trouble, use a
hammer
randomly inside the casing will definitely do permanent damage.
If even that is too much trouble, grab the whole PC, after
disconnecting all the cables, and drop it off in a nearby garbage
container.
``Follow me if I advance, kill me if I retreat, avenge me if
I die.''
-- Mary Matalin
Institutions such as the government, the police, companies, schools or
the military are often acting in a way that makes them justifiable
marks.
The arrogance occasionally displayed by individuals in these
institutions sometimes reflects only their apparent status as being
untouchable.
This is backed up with the enormous resources that the institution
has.
It is becoming more and more rare these days that the average man in
the street wins court cases against either the government or the
police, even in cases where the guilt of the institution is proven and
documented beyond doubt.
I am going to use the governmental context for a wide variety of
services here, just as I am used to, living in Norway most of my life.
The police are sometimes targeted for unjustified revenge.
This, because the public often feel badly treated when they get
tickets for illegal parking, speeding or similar petty incidents.
The fact is that the police have an obligation to follow and can't be
blamed for following the rules (laws) set by politicians or lawmakers.
If the law is what you have a problem with, target the politician and
make your protests out loud.
I really do not recommend doing anything on location as far as revenge
against the police goes.
History shows than the best way to tangle your way out of these
situations is to play along and either accept or reject the fine,
depending on the situation you are in.
Accepting it even if you did nothing wrong might seem idiotic, but if
the fine is low, you would have to ask yourself it is worth the
trouble of going through a trial or not.
In any case if you broke the law, you should accept the fine and
forget about revenge.
You would naturally get the name of the officers and perform some long
distance revenge scheme, if you decided to act upon the wronged
action.
It is a lot easier if your wrath is aimed directly towards the police
station itself.
It might happen that you get a parking ticket you don't
deserve. What one does in these situations is maybe manufacture your own
replica using a PC and a good printer.
Spend a couple of evenings wandering the streets and place the fake
parking bills onto random cars, which naturally are legally parked.
You achieve two things by doing this.
One, you get quite a few people to complain about the bill.
Two, you get a few suckers who actually pay the bill.
How the police or the parking department handles this depends, but
they do not have anything outstanding on these people so they have to
return the money, costing work time and unnecessary administration.
Another way of causing harm to the ones handling parking is very
simple, just put a plastic bag over the parking meter.
People will probably still park there without paying.
For private parking companies this will work well, as it will lower
their income.
For those cases when you have two marks, one being the police/parking
authorities and the other is a sucker with a parked car: Call the
towing company
and have his car towed
claiming that he was parking in your slot.
Politicians often seem like distant revenge targets, but you should
remember that these too are people who has cars, gardens, homes,
phones, etc.
Often there are a lot of people around them, which complicates things
but doesn't make a neat revenge scheme impossible.
Scandals are one way of getting back at a politician, but as we have
often seen, the politicians often have ways of crawling themselves out
of any situation.
And indeed, who is the public to trust when they see one unknown girl
claiming to have a relationship with the leader of a nation, while the
leader himself is saying it never took place?
Still, scandals could be effective, especially if you know how to play
the media.
Otherwise it is quite easy to hit the politician directly using any of
the other tactics described in this book.
One rather mild one is to forge letters from the politician to the
media or a secondary mark.
Hospitals may seem like apparently easy targets, but do keep
in mind that you might hurt or even kill innocent people who relies on the
services provided. Bringing down the particular person who has wronged you,
a Doctor for instance, is better.
One way of doing that is to spread news among the drug addicts in your
community that this doctor prescribes drugs, for a little extra fee,
with no questions asked.
You would naturally be a part of that environment to make it sound
right, or in a smaller community you could get the right effect by
telling your friend about it.
Rumors in small communities are an incredible tool and will serve your
efforts well, no matter who your mark is.
You can get back at military airports by sending several letters to
the people residing in their vicinity.
The letter should say that due to expansion of the base, the military
will be buying their house.
Give the residents a ridiculously low price for their property.
This scheme can also be applied to other airfields as well.
The point is to instigate a tiny little revolt against the mark.
Aluminum balloons in great numbers would turn up on airport radar,
causing confusion and in some instances probably also make them ground
the airplanes for a while.
You should be careful about this as you might disrupt the air traffic
enough to down a plane.
Another great tool for revenge business is the IRS
(Tax collectors.) You would need the mark's social security number and as much
information about your mark as possible.
Contact your local IRS field office.
Using the mark's name and information, advise them that you have been
filing false returns for years, not declaring money (from illegal
gambling, drug dealing, etc. make it sound believable) advise them
that you have turned over a new leaf and want to make amends.
Set up an appointment with the IRS agent to set things right.
When the mark doesn't show up for his appointment, for obvious
reasons, the IRS will send a field agent to the mark's address.
Odds are, the mark will be audited no matter what.
Another, more direct method involves forging a tax form
using the name and information on your mark.
In the US you can get the 1040-EZ or 1040-A package.
Type the name, address, city, state, zip, SS and filing status
normally.
Prepare the rest of the return with anti-tax and anti-government
statements typed in strategic places on the form.
In other words use your own discretion.
Prepare the official return envelope in the same manner.
A different approach to this last one is to fill out a form with
information of a high income.
Use the yellow pages and get some addresses of companies who are
rumored to do a lot of unreported (tax-wise) work.
This is a perfect scheme for the scumbag who doesn't care about
delivering any tax report form at all.
One great way to get back at a company, like a pub or a garage, is to
put an advertisement into the local newspaper where it says that
they're selling one of their products at a ridiculously low price.
For a garage you can write that they're offering free checks on
people's cars or $0.99 oil changes.
Timing should be accurate.
Do this when everyone is looking to buy this service or product.
There might be a situation where the mark is a bank that has
wrongfully taken money from your account.
When that is the case, go to the bank and rent a small safe deposit
box.
After you've gotten one, bring with you a bag of fish
substance that will reek after a couple of days at room temperature.
The bank will naturally have your name and number, and they will beg
you to remove it.
Remind them of the cash that was stolen and try to negotiate with
them.
Eventually, they can open the box without your permission, but it
takes a while, so don't put anything illegal into it.
You could also give money in your mark's business name to every
charity, religious group and political action
possible.
You could either give small amounts of money to groups that your mark
is heavily against, or to groups that you know will come back later
and harass him for more money.
Have a company which produces t-shirts at a low price make some for
you. Do a bogus logo and his office telephone number, then
donate the
t-shirts to a local homeless shelter under his name.
It would look real funny when people all around start to wear his
t-shirts.
The next level of corporate revenge involves junk-food
restaurants and drive-through windows.
Wire up a speaker and hide it in the bushes.
On the other side you connect an amplifier and a microphone (use your
imagination here, anything from a walk-man to a portable computer
might come in handy).
When someone pulls up to place their order, be as rude as possible
while impersonating the clerk.
This will hurt the restaurant and it might as well lead to a number of
complaints from unsuspecting customers.
You could also write a letter to the manager, saying that you were in
the drive-through on that particular night and were subjected to this
verbal abuse.
If this is all too complicated hang a note saying ``out of order'' on
the set-box.
Flashing can be a crude but effective way of getting even with a
restaurant.
If you are shy, you can have a friend drive by the restaurant with his
ass hanging out the window.
I do think the customers would loose their appetite after a slight
glimpse of that.
Have you ever been ripped off by a laundry store or been in a
situation where you've been treated badly by the owner?
Go to a washer and fill it up with loads of detergent, soap, grease or
paint.
You could also poke holes in the rubber pipes that lead to the washers.
Another suggestion is to jam the coin insert part of the machine with
dented coins or foreign objects.
Add some super-glue and it will take a very long time to fix and
result in a lot of lost business and frustrations.
Doctors and dentists always seem to get away with everything, don't
they?
Well, not anymore.
Go to a label printer and have them print a bunch of labels with your
Doc's office name and address.
Next thing you do is visiting one of those places where you get
pornographic magazines.
After you've read them, I mean, after you've purchased them, put the
label on them and drop them off in the waiting room under the pile of
magazines that's already there.
Don't wait around unless you have an appointment there.
Another thing you can do for doctors is to
advertise. Affix street posters with the doctors' name on them in the
worst parts of your vicinity.
Here you will be helping this doctor selling drug prescriptions with
no questions asked.
You could also try to get a job at your mark's company.
When inside you have a wide range of tactics you can implement and you
will be close to anything.
Being nasty to customers is a good one, but you could also give them
good discounts or do other sabotage.
Just don't get caught.
As with the police, teachers are also often targets of wrongful
revenge and shenaniganism.
It doesn't necessarily mean that these teachers are bad teachers, more
often it is because the children act like uncivilized savages and feel
badly treated when they don't do their homework.
Harassing teachers is not something I condone, actually I don't
condone anything in this book, except the copyright notice.
Analyzing the teacher could be useful.
A fairly old teacher might get an embarrassing problem if you brought
your
pornographic comics to school.
Creative minds could certainly make their own version of,
``Peter Penis, Master Detective and the Case of the Missing Coke
Bottles.''
You could also hide things like a condom or a dildo in his drawer.
The idea of putting display board tacks on the teacher's chair is old
and quite outdated.
Another way of making the workday of a teacher miserable, is by
rubbing lipstick, tar or paint on the doors to the school's
administrative offices and the teacher's rest room.
Done cleverly it might not be noticed until every teacher is dirty.
In the one-mean-pupil section we have copying off your teachers
signature on the bottom of a resignation.
Leave it in the principal's office.
Make something up about him getting a new job, and he can't come
personally to discuss it.
Time this to a period when the mark is away from work for some days.
This can also work in the opposite direction where you pose as the
principal firing the teacher.
Another mark that might deserve your attention, in the school area, is
your fellow student or pupil.
Most of what is written under the corporate revenge also applies here.
In addition, due to the way school works, there are a few good ones.
Ex-Lax or anything that make your mark's stomach twitch,
could easily
be applied to his drink.
Again timing is essential, as the mark will be more vulnerable at the
day of his final examination, although ruining for life might be
excessive, ruining him for the semester might be a better choice.
Quite a few places you can cancel exams
without identifying yourself.
At the places where they do require an ID, try to get a fake one or
steal your mark's ID.
The mark's locker is an easy target.
Put some glue on a toothpick and insert it into the lock.
Hang pornographic images on the front side of the locker.
Pour fox urine or some other stinky substance on its top or through
its holes.
If you are good at picking locks, then plant something in the locker
and then use the glue and toothpick trick on the lock.
Write something creative on the locker door.
When the mark goes away for a week or two, pour milk on top of it, or
use a generous amount of cottage cheese
squeezed between two plates.
Tape the plate together and hide it on top of his locker or push it
into the locker.
It will have a nasty odor when he discovers it.
An easy way to get back at school buddies who use drugs frequently is
to get a drug testing kit from a drug store.
Send the whole kit to his parents along with a letter from either the
school or one of his friends who feels that their son or daughter has
a problem.
In the school-building vandalism section we have ideas like drawing
obscenities on pull-down maps or movie screens, or hiding foul
smelling things above the ceiling.
The latter can be done in some governmental buildings where they have
ceilings resting on an iron grid, if not, use the air-duct.
Maggots (fly larva) can be bought at several
sports stores in areas where they use these as fish bait.
Get a box of them and hide it in a classroom, just before the school
closes for the summer.
Open the lid slightly to let the flies out and when the pupils return
next semester it will be swarming with flies in the room.
Clog the drains by pouring cement into the toilets and the sinks.
Also always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle everything you
can. Have friends help you.
Make a competition where the object is to get most screws out.
With access to a PC you can make false announcements from your school.
Use the same format style as they use and distribute them to teacher's
mailboxes and put them on display boards.
The display boards can also be used against your fellow students.
Get a picture of your mark and write something nasty under it.
Sex-adds, I-am-stupid posters, or anything from your own creative
mind.
On your country's national day, take down the national flag
and put up your own.
Have a friend lift you up standing on his back.
Tie the rope and cut everything that is below, leaving quite a
distance down to the ground.
``The righteous shall rejoice when he seethe the vengeance;
he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.''
-- Psalms, Ch.
58, V.10
Sticky stuff
Two of the more flexible items used in revenge schemes are superglue
and the insulation used as filler in building walls.
Superglue is perhaps the most versatile ``sticky stuff.''
Just apply it into any key-lock to give your mark the agony of his life.
Car door locks, car fuel locks, school lockers, apartment and house
front door locks, mailbox locks or even garage door locks, the
variations are endless.
Gluing ornaments like plastic toys to the car hood was already mentioned.
This can also be applied to other things, like windows, doors, office
desks where pens glued to the desk works great.
Your imagination is the limit.
Housing insulation also has many applications.
These usually come in large spray containers and when applied appear
as an expanding foam.
The real kicker here is that it soon hardens.
One problem here is that when applied to a limited area, the foam will
put pressure on its walls, this could also be part of the revenge.
Places to apply this are mailboxes, through open windows, into cars,
through mail-slots, desk drawers, lockers and onto lawns or up the
exhaust pipe of his car.
Annoying schemes shouldn't be too severe because they usually would
have to be repeated frequently and therefore the risk of detection is
high.
You also shouldn't apply annoying schemes upon a mark who is patient
as a rock.
In such situations the energy you spend on the work would easily be
higher than the energy and irritation felt by your mark.
Roommates are close and often easy targets for annoyances.
I have observed that acting nervous or jumpy often makes other people
nervous.
Nervousness is often quite closely connected to annoyances.
You could start the afternoon by sitting straight looking at the wall
(make sure there is a clock within your view) - every five minutes get
up, walk to the window, look out and mumble.
This would surely be annoying for the duration.
The next day, mention that you wonder what you did around that time
the previous day.
If others ask, tell them that your roommate has been acting strange
lately.
If your roommate has a girlfriend then you should be really nice to
her.
Give her a little gift every now and then, smile at her often and look
at her tits when he can see it.
Comment on her ass to her boyfriend and ask if they're into
threesomes.
Leave pornographic magazines around your bed.
Also talk about yourself and her when he thinks you're sleeping and he
is awake.
Have your alarm clock ring at 5AM each morning.
First you let it ring for a little while, and when your roommate
complains, get up and go to the bathroom.
Take a pee, or whatever, just make a bit of noise, then return to your
bed. Do this every morning for a while.
The next tactic involves getting some old keys.
This can be done at a locksmith, just ask for some they don't have any
use for.
Buy the same number of key tags, or make some yourself.
Write your mark's name and telephone number on the tag and mention a
$10 reward if found.
After you've done this, drop them one by one around the city.
The drawback with this one is that you'll involve innocent third
persons.
A related trick would be to write your mark's name and phone number on
dollar notes.
The best place to embarrass someone is to make it as public as
possible.
These tactics could look pretty innocent, but they will mostly feel
like they were a hit below the belt for your casual shy mark.
The first one works best if your mark is a shy homophobe, working in a
store.
Get a friend, someone your mark doesn't know, to come into the store
and buy a packet of condoms.
Make him go to the mark's line and say loudly, ``I had a great time
last night, (his name) honey. Are these the kind you wanted me to
pick up for later?''
This scheme can naturally be adapted to other scenarios, and in
several versions.
When your mark is a younger brother it's even easier to embarrass him.
Just ruin his reputation by running around at the school cafeteria
asking for him saying that he forgot to bring his lunch with him.
Dress geeky, smell and make sure you have a large grocery bag with his
full name written on its side.
A different way to embarrass your mark is if you're in
gym class doing push ups.
Have one of your trusted friends convince your mark to ask you about
how many push-ups your brother or sister can do.
When the mark ask, look as angry and upset as you can.
Make a big scene out of it and give the mark your response, ``Who told
you about this? How could you! You know my sister has no arms! What
kind of person are you?!''
At this point you can either storm out of the room or put your head
down in your arms crying.
Using posters has always been one of my
favorite ways of getting even.
With the latest in technology (i.e. the campus PC's or your own) you
can scan a picture of your mark.
The next thing you would need to do is go on the Net and find some
pornographic images.
You might have to search a little bit to find one that would fit
nicely with your mark's head, but it's well worth it.
Cut and paste from the original picture, and smooth it together so
that it looks real authentic.
Print it out and hang it on the campus display board with the text,
``horny chick call XXX-XXXX.''
I am not going to lecture anyone on how to make hard explosives.
One reason is that there is enough information on this around the
Internet already.
Another is that explosives are often unstable, and definitely
unreliable, which makes them unsuitable for revenge.
There are still things you may ``blow up'' without hurting anyone.
Take a balloon, fill it with paint and throw it onto your mark's car
at a time when chances of detection are lowest.
The trick here is to find a balloon that will hold the right amount of
paint, and which will break when it hits the car or house if you want
to strike at that.
Dry ice (frozen CO2) is cool and can be used to make loud explosions.
The way this is done, basically, is that you put a generous amount of
dry ice into a bottle, lock the bottle and then hide it in the
vicinity of your mark.
Plastic bottles are recommended as glass will break and may seriously
hurt someone.
Firecrackers are also nice tools that can be used for revenge
purposes.
Send a threatening note to your mark saying, ``tonight at 01:30AM, you
die.''
Then at night light the biggest firecracker you can find, just outside
his house.
This is psychological warfare.
The next note could say, ``Sorry, I missed.''
You really don't have to blow anything up to stir trouble.
One phone threat is enough, ``There is a bomb in your building. You
have 42 minutes to evacuate.''
This is a thing you may not want to consider, since this really is
severe and the police will definitely try to get you.
Wreaking weddings
A wedding ceremony is both expensive and painstaking, the latter due
to the somewhat difficult task of making everything look perfect.
Now, of course when our mark is heading to the altar we'll be using
this moment of vulnerability to get some serious revenge.
Let's say this groom was an ex-lover of yours who ran away about 4-9
months prior to the wedding.
After he ran away he abruptly fell in love with this little girl, who
he proposed to and now is going to marry (yeah, right! he was cheating
on you the whole time, this is a well known scenario.)
You feel that something has to be done, and to ruin our mark's
one-day-in-life you will need some pillows (or whatever) tucked under
your sweater.
After the ceremony you show up at the reception telling everybody
about the forthcoming child of the groom.
This would certainly need some good acting, timing and realism.
If you can leave the place without being exposed as a fraud (shouldn't
be too hard), then I am sure the groom and bride's wedding night isn't
going to be very jolly.
Another dirty trick is to get into the church, watch the ceremony,
waiting until the minister come to the part about ``if there is anyone
in this room who has anything to say about this marriage taking
place.''
Okay, this stunt would also need quite a bit at guts, but for some, if
that groom or the bride is an ex-lover you feel left some debt in the
revenge department, then maybe getting up at this point, cussing out
both the participants, wouldn't be too far fetched?
The genius touch here is that nobody will shut you off.
At the reception or at anytime later there will be people who might
yell back at you, but here in the church they won't.
A nice touch to this would maybe be to claim that you are already
married to the groom/bride, and with luck you might prevent the couple
from getting married that day.
This might also lead to a nice night in jail for you, but that's a
different story.
A well known urban story tells about a wedding where the groom (or
bride) goes through the whole ceremony until the part where the
commitment is about to take place.
The groom then stops everyone and asks them to take a look at the
picture under their chair (church bench).
The picture supposedly shows the bride in action with the best man the
previous night.
The groom then leaves the ceremony with another woman.
``To win a hundred victories in a hundred battles is not the
highest excellence; the highest excellence is to subdue the
enemy's army without fighting at all.''
-- Sun-Tzu
I've tried to focus on two things in particular in this book.
The implementation of various revenge schemes, and an elaboration on
the worst pitfalls and how to secure your path around them on you
mission of vengeance.
It has not been my goal to write down every revenge scheme I could
come up with, but rather describe a few of the more successful ones.
I hope that you, the reader, can use these as a source of inspiration
in your quest, and that you can build on these rather than just
copying them.
The best revenge schemes are the ones which fit the crime, the mark
and his environment and you can't find that scheme in a book.
Another thing that you should be aware of is that the effort spent,
doesn't always yield equal or justified agony for your mark.
Imagine a person striving for hours plotting something that merely
causes this mark a few moments of discomfort, a situation that surely
causes the avenger more agony than the mark.
Revenge can also become an obsession, often seen in movies and books
where the avenger, playing the bad guy, becomes obsessed with revenge
and ruins both his own life and the life of the mark.
The line between revenge-obsession and the psychotic is very indistinct.
Often people will find peace in their mind by imagining doing
something to cause their mark agony.
Usually this seems to be enough, and it is definitely therapeutical.
The focus of a commitment should be to get a solution to a problem or
an improvement of your situation, rather that just hurting your mark.
Thinking revenge often solves the pain you may experience inside,
without causing yourself or the mark any harm.
I hope this has been pleasant and entertaining reading.
Pål D. Ekran
Tromsø, Norway, 11 October 1999
``When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back
again very hard; I am sure we should -- so hard as to teach the person
who struck us never to do it again.''
-- Jane Eyre, by Charlotte
Bronte
This book was put together and authored by me, but there were many
people who helped me develop it.
The alt.revenge society -- even if it is constantly changing,
this book would not have been written if it weren't for the enormous
display of creativity shown in this newsgroups' early days.
The University of Tromsø -- not just for trying to give me an
education, but also for giving me access to the Internet, hosting the
Avenger's FrontPage during its development and for being my current
employer.
The quality assurance team -- without the people who've read through
this book correcting all my strange Norwegian jargon, you would
probably not enjoy reading this book at all.
These skilled individuals are:
Chip Mattox,
Cuda (Who assisted me on the legal aspects),
Ian Atkin,
Michael J. Bennett,
Napier,
Per Harald Myrvang (A good friend, who also did some heavy work on the layout),
Rinko R. Parrot (Shadow),
Robert Berry,
Shannon Buffett (Canada rulez),
Sluggo,
Starshipper,
Stian Morken (May the force be with you) and
Yankee7.
The tactics in this book were not invented by me alone, but by
hundreds of people who've contributed to the Avenger's Handbook by
either posting their ideas to alt.revenge or sending them
directly to me by email.
Without all of you, this book could not have been written.
My sincere thanks goes to:
A.J.R., Aaron Cake, Alabama Boo, Alan Young, Albers, Alison Cole,
Alistair MacGuines, Allowed, Andrew Barg, Andrew McCann, Arne
Sandness, Art, Batman, BadPunkGrl, Belina Jones, Ben A. Ostrowsky,
Billie Purcell, Billy Soh, Bjørn Stenbakken, Bobbo, Brent Volden,
Brian Martinez, Brian Smith-White, BrianN3UKG, C. H. Lund, C. Lynn
Ashworth, Cake, Cathleen, Gallagher, Charles Trent, Chris
Burroughs, Chris Hedemark, Chris Wilson, Christopher G.
Wakefield, Chuck, Crystal V. Freitas, Crystal Willett,
CyberKnight, DCrowder, Dale Gee, Dale Nurden, Dale Worley, Dan
Sutton, DanD, Darren, Dave Bushong, David C. Hobbs, David Gillies,
David K. Bryant, David Morning, David T. Witkowski, Davis
Sweeney, Deacon, Denise L Voskuil, Der Jeff, DiaBLo, Diana
Balance, Digitar, Dillotex, Donald E Quigley, Doug Clayton, Drew
Patterson, Dylan Hayes. Eamon, Ed Butler, Elaine Ford, Elsinepres,
Emil Rakoczy, Emily Nevermind, Evil, Flightline, Florin Cutzu,
Format c:, Frank Reid, Genghis Floyd, George ``Pinhead'' Curtis,
Ginnow, Gordon Prioreschi, Gregory Winer, HaPpYKiLL, Harry Conwi,
Hellraiser, Hiram, HoneyB16, Humdinger7, Iollus, Israel Silverman,
J. Kennedy, JRWinston, James Martin, James Miles, Jay C. Box,
JenSue, Jennifer, Jeremy Harrington, Jeremy Winter, Jim Michael,
Joan Tine, Joe, Joe Parsons, Jody Hattersley, John Armstrong, John
Gentilozzi, John Hein, John Hong, John L. Kinsella, John Smith,
Joker, Josh Jenkins, June Peckingham, JusticeX, KCWinstead, Karl
Anders Øygard, Kellie, Kelton E. Ryan, Kennan Ferguson, Kenneth
Mayer, Kfe, Kirby, L. A. Spangler, Lady Gemini, Lance Stahlberg,
Lapierre, Larry Collins, Lee Lorenz, Lester R. Wolthers Jr, Loop,
Lori Oswald, Lyvo, MAD Mosher, MIT, Marian333, Mark Landers, Mark
Loop, Mark Peters, Mark W. Russell, Marko Heiskanen, Martin
Hannigan, Matthew ``The Revenger'', Michael Biddle, Michael Lamb,
Michael P. Johnson, Michael Thomas, Mike Smith, Morpheus, Mr.
Twister, Muzz, Nancy Passwater, Neil P. Montoya, NetMonk, Obitus,
OJ, Oleg, Pancho, Panhead, Patrick I Buchert, Patrick Jost,
Patrick Lynch, Patrick McAllen, Phinn, Prime Risk, Qbranch2,
ROCO1, Rev. Etherboy, Richard Payne, Richard R. Moore, Richard
Snow, Rob Peacock, Rob Verzera, Robert Bissett, Robert Goodwin,
Robin Scott, Roger Orton, Roger Sween, Roy Stewart, Rugger, Samuel
Kaplin, Samuel Taradash, Scott, Scott Adams, Scott Little, Shane,
Shivers, Simon Wright, Skater4387, Skitzo, Sky Rat, Stephen
Boursy, Steve Davis, Steve Lopez, Steve McQueen, Steven C.
Schultz, Steven Minney, Stryk9, Stuart, Stuart Ransley, Tapas
Pain, The Cheshire Cat, The Green Jesus, The Grin Within, The
Novato Onramp, The Weekday Warrior, Thomas Gauldin, Tim J. Lavoie,
Tmel, Toby Lane, Tom Line, Troy Harnish, Turk, Warren Savage,
Werther, Wil Jamison, William Barker, Wooly, XMan, Yankee7, tk421,
and whf2.
``If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?''
-- William Shakespeare,
The Merchant of Venice
- Avenger's FrontPage
- Introduction
| Introduction
- alt.flame
- Introduction
- alt.revenge
- Introduction
- FAQ
- Introduction
- James Stark
- Introduction
- alt.shenanigans
- Introduction
- annoying
- The annoying and irritating
- alarm clock
- Annoying roommates
- keys
- Annoying roommates
- roommates
- The annoying and irritating
- Avenger's Handbook
- Introduction
| Introduction
- bank
- bag of fish
- The company
- mail
- Forged letters
- the company
- The company
- bedroom
- The bedroom
- alfalfa
- The bedroom
- chocolate bars
- The bedroom
- milk powder
- The bedroom
- cable TV
- Telly terrorism
- black tape
- Telly terrorism
- boxes
- Telly terrorism
- metal piece
- Telly terrorism
- car
- alarm
- Other car action
- Alka-Seltzers
- Under the hood
- balancing weights
- Tire havoc
- Bologna
- Paint jobs
- bumper stickers
- Other car action
- butane
- Under the hood
- concrete sealant
- At the windshield
- Drano
- The gas tank
- engine
- Under the hood
- exhaust pipe
- Insulation
- fuel tank
- The gas tank
- heater
- At the windshield
- lawn sprinkler
- Other car action
- lug-nuts
- Tire havoc
- oil
- Under the hood
- plastic lizards
- Paint jobs
- police
- Other car action
- shaving foam
- Under the hood
- shrimp-shells
- At the windshield
- sparkplug holes
- Under the hood
- spray-paint
- Paint jobs
- sugar
- The gas tank
- superglue
- Paint jobs
- tires
- Tire havoc
- windshield
- At the windshield
- windshield wipers
- At the windshield
- your own
- A few tings to
- clothes
- black
- A few tings to
- camouflage
- A few tings to
- casual
- A few tings to
- surroundings, standing out
- A few tings to
- college dorms
- Dorms and similar places
- brick wall
- Dorms and similar places
- pennying a door
- Dorms and similar places
- plastic cups
- Dorms and similar places
- signs
- Dorms and similar places
- copyright
- Copyright and information
- detection
- Internet
- Danger of detection
- log-file
- Danger of detection
- technology
- Danger of detection
- disclaimer
- Disclaimer
- distribution
- Distribution terms
- DNA analysis
- A few tings to
- door
- eggs
- Doors in general
- garden hose
- Doors in general
- embarrassment
- Embarrassment
- gym class
- Embarrassment
- posters
- Embarrassment
- encryption
- Safety and planning
- evidence
- Safety and planning
- exploding
- bomb threats
- Fun with firecrackers
- carbondioxide
- Things that go boom!
- firecrackers
- Fun with frozen carbondioxide
- explosives
- Things that go boom!
- FAX
- black pages
- Black magic
- caution
- Fax machines
- error messages
- Infinite faxes
- exploiting sorting
- Big companies
- fax-back
- Wakeup calls
- looping
- Infinite faxes
- ruining
- Black magic
- fountain
- Walls, fountains and bugs
- friend
- trusted
- A few tings to
- garage
- nails
- The garage
- painting
- The garage
- garden
- copper tacks
- Trees
- diesel fuel
- The lawn
- fertilizer
- The lawn
- forks
- The lawn
- frosted flake
- The lawn
- lime
- The lawn
- nails
- Trees
- salt
- The lawn
- seagulls
- The lawn
- tree
- Trees
- weed seeds
- The lawn
- gathering information
- Safety and planning
- graffiti
- Ajax
- Walls, fountains and bugs
- Comet
- Walls, fountains and bugs
- lighter fluid
- Walls, fountains and bugs
- profanities
- Walls, fountains and bugs
- hospital
- mail
- Forged letters
- hospitals
- Hospitals
- drug addicts
- Hospitals
- insulation
- Sticky stuff
- Internet
- altering email address
- How do they do
- auto-responder
- How do they do
- café
- Basics
- cancelling
- Internet revenge ideas
- civil-right groups
- Reporting the abuse
- complaint
- Spammers
- contact ads
- Internet revenge ideas
- email
- How do they do
- fraud watch
- Reporting to the authorities
- FTP
- Basics
- harassment
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- identity, concealing
- Internet revenge ideas
- ISP
- Internet revenge ideas
- killfile
- How do they do
- logging
- The Internet
- mail
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- message header
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- newbie
- The Internet
| Dealing with Internet harassment
- offender
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- oldtimers
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- pace problem
- Basics
- product
- Spammers
- public terminal
- Basics
- public terminal, limitations
- Basics
- pyramid scheme
- Spammers
- secure access
- Basics
- selling stuff
- Internet revenge ideas
- spammers
- Spammers
- spammers, 800-numbers
- Spammers
- spammers, avoiding
- How do they do
- spammers, calling
- Spammers
- spammers, mail-bombing
- Spammers
- spammers, reporting
- Reporting to the authorities
- student
- Reporting the abuse
- subscription
- Internet revenge ideas
- system administrator
- Dealing with Internet harassment
- Telnet
- Basics
- tools
- Basics
- Usenet
- Internet revenge ideas
| Dealing with Internet harassment
- IRS
- Tax collectors are your
- forging a tax form
- Tax collectors are your
- mail
- Forged letters
- James Stark
- alt.revenge
- Introduction
- junkmail
- Junk mail
- bugs
- Junk mail
- cockroaches
- Junk mail
- cross-posting
- Junk mail
- getting rid of
- Handling junk mail
- glue
- Junk mail
- leaf-pile
- Protecting your garden
- mail
- address change
- Forged letters
- application
- credit card
- Forged letters
- job
- Forged letters
- ashes, cigarette
- Annoying non-smokers.
- bank
- Forged letters
- bugs
- Junk mail
- church
- Forged letters
- cockroaches
- Junk mail
- dirty magazine
- Forged letters
- envelopes, empty
- The power of empty
- envelopes, opened
- The power of empty
- forwarding
- Forged letters
- from secondary mark
- Forged letters
- hospital
- Forged letters
- illegal
- Mail revenge warning
- illegal forging
- Forged letters
- importing narcotics
- Forged letters
- job application
- Forged letters
- landlord
- Forged letters
- legality of
- Mail revenge warning
- letter, newspaper
- Forged letters
- memberships
- Forged letters
- moving out
- Forged letters
- order forms
- The mail system
- ordering goods
- The mail system
- paper, single
- The power of empty
- pedophilia
- Forged letters
- Reader's Digest
- Forged letters
- remailer
- A few tings to
- reply-envelope
- Junk mail
- requirements
- The mail system
- sexual partner
- Forged letters
- tax collector
- Forged letters
- teacher
- Forged letters
- trusted friend
- A few tings to
- TV station
- Forged letters
- unpaid
- Unpaid post
- mailbox
- federal offences
- The mailbox
- flag
- The mailbox
- insects
- The mailbox
- lock
- The mailbox
- protection
- Protecting your garden
- mark
- bank loan
- Forged letters
- calling directly
- Telephone precautions
- contact ads
- Internet revenge ideas
- dating
- A date?
- driving to
- A few tings to
- drug abuser
- Forged letters
- ex-
- Forged letters
- legal problems
- Forged letters
- membership
- Forged letters
- paging
- Pagers
- phone-bill
- Collect calls
- salesman, telephone
- Phone terrorism
- social security number
- Forged letters
- spamming
- Internet revenge ideas
- subscriptions
- Internet revenge ideas
- telephone order
- Basics
- using identity of
- Internet revenge ideas
- MIT
- The residence
- music
- acoustic coupler
- Loud music
- apartment neighbor
- Loud music
- bowling ball
- Loud music
- loud music at night
- Loud music
- weightlifting plate
- Loud music
- police
- The police
- parking ticket
- Got a parking ticket?
- plastic bag
- Got a parking ticket?
- towing company
- Got a parking ticket?
- politicians
- Politicians
- scandals
- Politicians
- prank-war
- Safety and planning
- psychotic
- Epilogue
- quality assurance team
- Acknowledgements
- quotation
- Bronte, Charlotte
- Acknowledgements
- Deuteronomy
- Long distance revenge
- Dilbert
- The work place
- Eyre, Jane
- Acknowledgements
- Hayduke, George
- Introduction
- Kahn, Genghis
- Matalin, Mary
- The institutional
- Nitobe, Inazo
- Safety and planning
- Psalms
- Miscellaneous
- Shakespeare, William
- Acknowledgements
- Sun-Tzu
- Epilogue
- revenge
- dish best served cold
- Safety and planning
- lifecycle
- Safety and planning
- revenge-obsession
- Epilogue
- school
- cancel exams
- Fellow students
- drug testing kit
- Fellow students
- Ex-Lax
- Fellow students
- fly larva
- The school building
- locker
- Fellow students
- cottage cheese
- Fellow students
- pornographic images
- Fellow students
- national flag
- The school building
- pornographic comics
- Teachers
- teacher
- Teachers
- resignation
- Teachers
- toilets
- The school building
- secondary mark
- landlord
- Forged letters
- paging
- Pagers
- teacher
- Forged letters
- travel agency
- Basics
- sexual partner
- Forged letters
- shower
- The bathroom
- bouillon cube
- The bathroom
- methylene blue
- The bathroom
- Nair
- The bathroom
- Sicilians
- Safety and planning
- superglue
- Sticky stuff
- talk.bizzarre
- Introduction
- teacher
- mail
- Forged letters
- telemarketing
- Handling telemarketing and pranksters
- being gross
- Being gross
- calling back
- Asking questions
| Calling back
- conversation stopper
- A quickie
- death
- Being rude
- indecent proposals
- Being rude
- music, boring
- Boring music
- obscure credit cards
- Obscure payment
- questions, dumb
- Asking questions
- restroom, using
- Being gross
- S&M
- Shocking the telemarketer
- toilet
- Being gross
- telephone
- as safe channel
- Telephone precautions
- caller-id
- A few tings to
| Telephone precautions
| Precautions ad teidium
| Handling pranksters
- cancelling
- credit card
- Stopping supplies
- phone
- Stopping supplies
- changing voice
- Telephone precautions
- dating
- A date?
- electricity supply
- Stopping supplies
- gas supply
- Stopping supplies
- gay lover
- Variations
- girlfriend
- Implied adultery
- gloves
- Precautions ad teidium
- harassment
- Phone terrorism
- innocent third party
- Basics
- ISP
- Stopping supplies
- logging
- A few tings to
- long distance call
- Collect calls
- ordering
- Basics
- pay phone
- Telephone precautions
| Precautions ad teidium
- phone-bill
- Collect calls
- phone-booth
- A few tings to
- random call
- Phone terrorism
- safety
- The telephone
- sale call
- Phone terrorism
- secondary mark
- Telephone precautions
| Precautions ad teidium
- spouse
- Implied adultery
- telemarketing
- Handling telemarketing and pranksters
- third party, using
- Telephone precautions
- tracing
- Wakeup calls
- tracking
- A few tings to
- voice manipulation
- Telephone precautions
- wakeup call
- Wakeup calls
- wife
- Implied adultery
- telephone-pranksters
- bluffing
- Handling pranksters
- caller-id
- Handling pranksters
- handling harassment
- Equal treatment
- loud noise
- Handling pranksters
- music, boring
- Boring music
- sarcasm
- Equal treatment
- the company
- Tax collectors are your
- bank
- The company
- bag of fish
- The bank
- bogus logo
- The good cause
- charity
- The good cause
- doctors
- Doctors and dentists
- laundry store
- Laundries
- restaurants
- Restaurants
- the kitchen
- The kitchen
- exploding gas
- The kitchen
- therapeutical
- Epilogue
- toilet
- Cement mix
- The bathroom
- jello powder
- The bathroom
- ketchup
- The bathroom
- saran wrap
- The bathroom
- weddings
- Wreaking weddings
- photographs
- Speaking up
- showing up pregnant
- Wreaking weddings
- speaking up
- Showing up pregnant
- work
- escort services
- At the office
- FAX machines
- At the office
- flowers
- At the office
- friendly
- display board
- The friendly
- regulation
- The friendly
- tape
- The friendly
- friends
- Introduction
- grocery
- bleach
- Grocery stores
- fish
- Grocery stores
- maggots
- Grocery stores
- rubber snake
- Grocery stores
- surveillance system
- Grocery stores
- pc
- BIOS
- The BIOS
- colours
- Messing with software
- fan
- The subtle avenger
- graphic images
- Messing with software
- hammer
- The berserker
- icons
- Messing with software
- screwdriver
- Messing with hardware