Kids Say the Darndest Things

Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep
journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here
are a few examples:

*The future of "I give" is "I take."

*The parts of speech are lungs and air.

*The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

*A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the
 population.

*Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
 Hydrogin is gin and water.

*(Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

*A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

*The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

*A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it
 through an aviator.

*Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

*The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

*The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and
 you sit on the bottom.

*We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk
 from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

*One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

*A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly
 constipated authorities.

*One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

*To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it
 drips into the throat.

*The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

*The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

*Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious
 feelings.

*The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top
 and plural at the bottom.

*Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

*The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the
 other.

*In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

*Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

*In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

*A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the
 winter.