Kids' Instructions On Life

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
--Patrick, Age 10

When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.
--Matthew, Age 12

Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.
--Andrew, Age 9

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
--Rocky, Age 9

Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.
--Stephanie, Age 8

Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
--Rosemary, Age 7

Don't flush the toilet when your dad's in the shower.
--Lamar, Age 10

Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents
are doing taxes.
--Carrol, Age 9

Never bug a pregnant mom.
--Nicholas, Age 11

Don't ever be too full for dessert.
--Kelly, Age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
--Heather, Age 16

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
--Michael, Age 14

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
-Joel, Age 12

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the
phone.
--Alyesha, Age 13

Never try to baptize a cat.
--Laura, Age 13

Never spit when on a roller coaster.
--Scott, Age 11

Never do pranks at a police station.
--Sam, Age 10

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.
--Rob, Age 10

Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom
told you to do.
--Hank, Age 12

Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand.
--Molly, Age 11

Listen to your brain. It has lots of information.
--Chelsey, Age 7

Stay away from prunes.
--Randy, Age 9

Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.
--Phillip, Age 13

Forget the cake. Go for the icing!
--Cynthia, Age 8