The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes
(part 1 of 20)
One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill,
I don't quite know why it is called that. Anyway..
The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket
(we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with
water. Take a paper bag and set it on fire, toss it under the door into the
stall. Yell fire as everyone tosses the water into the stall. Needless to say
the fire as well as the victim get very wet.
This one fellow in the house was hit a number of times and took to relieving
himself in other locals. We followed him a couple of times and nailed him
in many parts of the residence.
Later of course we conspired with our victim to get back at the
original instigator of the drill. The guy in the stall had a bucket of water,
and when the the instigator tossed the bag in we all hit him.
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It is common for draftsmen to sprinkle SCUMEX (powdered rubber
eraser) on tracings prior to doing any drawing on it. This reduces
smearing of the pencil marks and such and results in a cleaner
tracing.
At a former employers we had replaced the Scumex at one draftsmans
desk with dried parmesian cheese. It looked about the same. It was
extremely interesting watching him draw for a while and then begin
to smell the paper. Took the poor dude almost 10 minutes to guess
that he had been gigged!
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I just pulled one on somebody -- I slipped some of those anti-
shoplifting strips into the lining of the victim's favorite
jacket. I was set to pull another one, but didn't get the chance
- to cut out a silhouette of a gun from metal and hide it in a
piece of carry-on luggage.
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Two teachers at my high school started a practical joke war
that culminated in a junk mail war of huge proportions. They
finally called a truce and got it cleared up and the mail stopped,
EXCEPT for the military mail that one had signed the other one up
for. He wrote (honestly) that he had graduated from a fine college
and was interested in the Marines, Air Force, etc. etc.
When I left, about two years after this, he was still
getting PHONE CALLS from 2-4 times a month.... they were VERY
persistant even over he (loud) objections that he was 45 and not
interested in a career change...
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New secretary (second day on the job) answers telephone as is told in
official tones: "This is the phone company. We are testing a new
circuit wiring scheme in your offices. Please keep everyone off the
phones for the next 10 minutes. We will be verifying the correct wiring
of your system by passing HOT STEAM through the wires. Instruct your
employees to place their phones on the floor, or, better yet, wrap them
in towels to avoid scalding themselves. We will advise you when the
tests are complete $click$" After momentary panic, the secretary begins
a frenzied "Paul Revere" routine, running from desk to desk while
glancing frequently at her watch. Just as the 10 minutes are about up,
she bursts into her boss's office (while he is in the midst of an
important long-distance call) and, screaming, grabs the receiver from
his hand and flings the whole phone under his desk...
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Tell someone you can pin a glass of water to the wall --
a real glass, not a paper cup, using an ordinary straight
pin. Naturally they won't believe, so you set out to
prove it.
Get a glass of water and a pin. Hold the glass up to the
wall and start to pin it up. And then drop the pin.
You've got the glass in position just right, so you ask
your victim real nice to get the pin for you. When they
bend down to pick it up, dump the water on their head.
This works especially well when there's a crowd of people watching.
It can also be very dangerous for the joker, so be careful if you
try it.
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one time in my undergrad days, it was snowing like mad
out. someone decided it was time a make a snowball. then
someone else suggested that we should put this snowball in
this one guy's room-- nobody liked this guy-- so when the
word got around, half the people in our dorm section came
out and help! we got this sucker so BIG that it must be
at least 4 feet in diameter. it took about 6 person to haul
the darn thing up 3 flights of stairs. we got the snowball
into this guy's room while he was out, turn off the heat in
the room and left all the windows open, so the snowball
won't melt too fast. well... the turkey came back 3 hours
later and found a HUGH snowball sitting in the middle of his
room, and started melting! I still have the picture of the
snowball. (if you really wonder how big the snowball is,
just imagine a snowball the size of a normal dinning room
chair!)
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This reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall
in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and
pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife
blade if you were persistent enough.
PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby): (1) Empty salt ( or pepper) from a
previously 'acquired' container and fill about 1/3 full with
concentrated lemon juice. (2) Place a thin tissue across the opening,
poke it down a bit to form a depression, and fill the depression with
about a teaspoon of baking soda. (3) Cover (from the inside) the
holes of the top with tape of the appropriate color. (4) Replace top
on container and trim visible tissue from around the top.
Carry the device to dining hall (upright and as stable as is
possible... for your own sake).
After discretely placing the shaker on your table (only place it near
to you... see caveat \#1 below), observe the next person to use the
salt (pepper). (S)He will shake lightly at first, then harder as
nothing comes out. Due to the breakdown of the tissue and the pressure
resulting from the classic acid/base reaction, the top will pop off
(quite spectacularly) amidst a shower of foam. Your victim (as will as
everyone around) should have quite a reaction, since one does not
usually observe this type of behavior in a salt (pepper) shaker!
CAVEATS: 1. The top will come off with some force. If the holes are
sealed well, this will happen on about the second or third shake.
Once, though, due to poor sealing, it took about 5 seconds, during
which time our victim started looking at the shaker to examine the
"foamy stuff coming out" of the holes... we quickly grabbed the shaker
from her to direct the top towards the ceiling before it went off. So,
watch carefully!
2. The "foam shower" (lemon juice \& soda) may ruin you victim meal...
be prepared to pop for another one.
3. Don't do this if your victim or anyone near ground zero is dressed
up (this joke will flop at board meetings and the like).
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This joke has been done 50 (yes, 50) years ago by my father-in-law.
First, a little background:
He lived in a small village, north-west of Quebec City along the St-Laurent
river. In those days, toilets were located outside the house in what
we call in good ol' french canadian 'becosse', from 'back house' I think.
These are a little wood shack with no floor over a hole in the ground
where you ... You can guess.
Now, for the joke:
He and a friend were thrown out of a party by the doorman.
When it was really dark,, the doorman went to investigate what was
knocking at the window. They had suspended a rock to the window
frame so it hung right it the middle and tied another string
to the rock and hid behind the 'becosse' where they pulled
that second string to make the rock knock in the window.
That's an old trick. The doorman wouldn't fall for that one. So
he followed the second string in the dark
and soon concluded that they were hidding behind the 'becosse'.
He ran toward the merely visible wood structure...
But my father-in-law and his friend had taken care of moving the
shack six feet ... Boy he fell in the shit !!