The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes

(part 3 of 20)


I have lived in several different houses with a bunch of guys. Needless
to say things got pretty rowdy sometimes and many were victims of some
pretty funny jokes.  One of the favorites as I recall (and still is) is
to go into the bathroom while the victim is taking a shower, and pour
a bucket of extreeeemmmlly cold water on them over the top of the
shower curtain.  This is quite a shocking experience, and if you are
fast enough you can get away before the victim finds out you did it.

I remember one guy I lived with getting this all the time.  One time
he got sick of putting up with it and jumped out of the shower into
the hall squirting shampoo at everyone in sight.  The next time this
happened the guys were ready with a camera to take pictures of him as
he ran out of the bathroom.  These pictures were later shown at his
bachelor party.

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1)  Got a neighbor that's a real pain in the ass?  Do they have a
    lawn? Do they have a garden that's accessible?  Yes to all the
    above? Great!  Go out and get yourself some grass-killer and fill
    the suckers hose with the stuff.  Then sit back and wait for them
    water their lawn!  Nuff said?

2)  Does the person that you want to get even with drink red wine?  If
    so, have I got one for you!  Get yourself some Neutral Red, a water
    soluble, crystalline, red dye.  Mix some into the persons wine and
    wait for them to take a leak.  (Nuetral Red comes out as red as it
    goes in, and people have a tendancy to get really nervous when they
    start pissing what they think is blood!

3)  (I'm surprised nobody mentioned this one yet.)  Go to a pet shop and
    buy a fancy looking pet collar and leash.  Then, the next time you
    see a dead animal in the road, attach the leash and collar setup
    to its neck.  Attach the whole thing to revengees rear bumper, making
    sure to toss dead animal under the car so it won't be seen.  When
    revengee drives away, chances are he/she will be stopped by either a cop
    or a member of some animal lovers group for draggin some poor defenseless
    pet down the road.  Either way, they are gonna have some awful quick
    explaining to do!

4)  Last, but certainly not least, is a great stink bomb.  This one takes
    a bit of time for preparation, so it's not too good for spontaneous
    revenge.  (But it's worth the time!)  Get a quart jar with a rubber seal.
    (Mason jars work quite well.)  Pour about 1/4 to 1/2 inch of crystal Drano
    along with about an inch or so of warm water into the jar.  Place the
    lid on the jar and allow the mixture to sit in a warm place for about an
    hour.  Take the lid off and add six egg whites, (no yokes).  Add a quarter
    cup of Methylene Blue, then fill the jar to within an inch of the top
    with water.  Seal the jar tightly and allow to sit for four to six weeks.
    (I warned you it takes a while!)  When the 'bomb' is ready to use, you
    can either throw it like a molitov(sp?) cocktail, or shake it up and
    pour the contents out, making damn sure you don't get any on yourself.
    The results have to be seen, or is that smelled, to be beleived!

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Is everyone out in net land familiar with Sensormatic?  They are the company
that make the large plastic clips that set off alarms when you exit a
department store.  I used to work for a department store and the is what
we did.

Open up the clip and remove the shiny piece of paper.  It is about an inch
long and about half an inch wide.  This is the "thingy" (that is the technical
word for it) that sets off the alarm.  This "thingy" is easy to insert into
a pen case, lining of a jacket ...

We did this to a co worker and needless to say, he had problems wearing a
particular jacket to work.

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We have various local spots where the teenagers park, cruise, hold drag
races, drink beer etc.  We happen to own a white 1983 Dodge Diplomat,
the exact kind of car used by the State Patrol around here as well as
many law enforcement agencies nationwide.  (Actually our car WAS a
state patrol car, but that's another story).  Anyway, my brother in
law, who is a cruiser, would occasionally borrow this car and drive it
down to the cruising spots.  Needless to say, when they saw him coming
there was brief but furious activity.  He finally had to stop doing
this because it made his friends so mad.

People hate to pass us on the freeway too.  It is not unusual to see
some Camaro or Porche come zipping along through traffic until he is
about 2 car lengths behind us, then decelerate to a perfect 55.00 miles
per hour.  It takes him about 10 seconds to look us over, decide we
aren't in uniform, notice that we don't have state license plates, and
make up his mind.  He will then typiclaly test how fast his car will
accelerate to about 90 mph.

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They had a 'witchy' old lady next door that was constantly complaining
about everything and everyone in the neighborhood.  After one really good
round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, my buddies
planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought.
Juvenile as we all were, they planned to write some dirty words in her
meticulously-groomed front lawn with some kind of powder that would stand
out.  The only thing they could find was some Ortho Super-Gro Lawn Food
(white powdery stuff).  They wrote the message in the dead of night, and
next morning it was bold and white for the world to see.
The 'kicker' came after.  She came out, saw the graffiti, and immediately
grabbed a hose and WATERED IT OFF!

To this day, those sections of grass are just a little bit greener than
everything around them, and the words can STILL be read!



This reminds me of a story that a former roommate related to me.  In college
he and a group of friends got revenge on complete strangers.  ....Well, let
me set up the situation.

Y'know how sometimes you gotta park real far away from your destination
because certain types of people like to take up two parking spaces...?
Well, he and his friends got a little ticked about this, especially during
weekends at the school.  One day, they decided to get even with every
\verb+"#@@#\$#@$&&"+ that took up "their" space.  They turned the car sideways.
As he said, "He wanted that space so bad, now he can have it for a loooong
time!"

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In a similar vein, tell your victim that you have a test of coordination
you would like him to try with you.  Find a door with a fairly large crack
between the door and the wall when the door is open.  (You know, over by
the hinges; across the width of the door from the doorknob...)  You need an
egg (NOT hard-boiled), and a wood floor (you don't want the egg cracking on
carpeting, do you??).  Now, have your victim get on the opposite side of
the door from you, and put 2 fingers through the door.  Hand him the egg,
in those two fingers.  Working with him, trade the egg back and forth a
couple of times, moving UP the door frame.  After you have his confidence,
leave.  He will be trapped there, holding this egg by two fingers through
the door.  If he lets go and nobody takes the egg, it will crash to the
floor.  Best to do in the person's own room.

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A few years  ago some members of the  infamous Dartmouth Outing Club pushed
an  occupied  one-seat outhouse off  its  foundations,  onto its door.  The
victim tried in vain for a  few minutes to roll the  entire building onto a
different side, but soon gave up, as it was too heavy.  She then was forced
to climb out through the seat, and over the pit  near the bottom (now side)
of the outhouse.

The followup  to this episode   was that some  `friends'  seized me  in the
middle of the night and tied my feet in a noose  suspended in a tree.   But
that's another story.

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   This practical joke is hearsay.  A fellow student some years ago
   related the following.  Apparently another student was a bit of
   a braggar.  His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic
   was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got.

   So it began one evening.  Fill up a one-gallon container of gas
   each night and pour it into the victim's gas tank.  Wait for the
   story each day to get better and better.  Repeat until it cannot
   be taken any more.  I believe 2 weeks was sufficient.

   Finally the moment (days) of truth.  Each night for 2 weeks,
   the effect was reversed, and one gallon of gas was REMOVED from
   the victim's tank.  It was amazingly effective at reducing some
   of the stories.  I suspect the truth was never revealed to the
   victim.