Things You Would NEVER Hear the Pimpernel Say!

Things Percy Blakeney Would Never Say:

"Look, buddy, I'm sorry about you being guillotined tomorrow and all but I DO have a ball to get back to!" (Lady Hastings)
"Perhaps I could get your assistance with MY wardrobe, M'sieur Chambertin...err...Chauvelin..." (Calista)
"Hey, Ffoulkes, you want to carry Marguerite a while? She ain't all that light, y'know . . . " (Jennifer)

Things Chauvelin Would Never Say:

"I'm tired of black--got this in pink?" (Calista)
"I think I'm obsessed...maybe I should seek counselling." (Lady Hastings)
"Oh, wait, I guillotiend all the psychiatrists." (Lady Hastings)
"You know, Sir Percy, that little poem is really quite talented! I can get you the name of a publisher!" (Lady Hastings)
"What do you mean you think I've had enough snuff? I'll tell you when I've had enough DAAMIT!" (Queen Lauryn)
"No, no, no! I said FRENCH! Not ENGLISH! That's it--to the gullotine with you!" (Queen Lauryn)
"I think this tri-corner hat is too American...can I see something more French? I'm trying to defend the Republic here!" (Queen Lauryn)
"Marguerite, usually I'd give you a tough choice, an 'either-or' decision to make, but right now I'm so tired I don't care what you do." (Jennifer)

Things Marguerite Would Never Say:

"Both of you can kiss off, I've found a REAL man--c'mon, your Highness!" (Calista)
"You want to knock it off with the snuff, Chauvelin?!" (Queen Lauryn)
"Percy, you've become far too serious. You ought to laugh more often, maybe compose a couple of doggerel poems to recite at balls." (Jennifer)

Things Armand St. Just Would Never Say:

"You know, I really should be careful to weigh ALL the consequences before I make any decision." (Lady Hastings)
"Oh, pooh. And I really wanted CHAUVELIN as a brother-in-law, too..." (Calista)
"You know, Marguerite, maybe I should listen to you this time. I'll stay here in England where I belong." (Queen Lauryn)
"Maybe I ought to wait . . . Patience is a virtue, you know . . . " (Jennifer)

Things Andrew Ffoulkes Would Never Say:

"Hey, Marguerite, ever notice how OFTEN Percy goes off to France and leaves us two alone? Guess he doesn't know what a DANGEROUS fellow I am!" (Lady Hastings)
"Dewhurst, the leader is starting to annoy me. All those disguises get on my nerves." (Jennifer)

Things Suzanne Ffoulkes Would Never Say:

"Margot, Margot, Margot! Why is it always MARGOT?!" (Calista)
"Andrew, you're nice and all, but you're simply not my type." (Jennifer)

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