X-Prov

{Yeah I know! Yor reading the title to this story and thinking. WHAT THE %^&* is X-Prov? Well I’s is goona tel yas all what X-Prov is. It’s an X-Men crossover that I, The writer and host, will start and snyone is allowed to write in to me the second part and so on and so on and so on. So I will start it then You, the reader, will E-mail me and ask me to do the next part. I, the host, will give the green light and you will be able to write the next part and send it in to me. And I, the host, will "host" it on my web page. By the way unless you didn’t figure it out by now, either by common sense or by reading the first part of this blurb, This is an X-men crossover. So enjoy and send in.}

Poogaly.

Here we go:

Xavier stood in the X-Mansion. NOT! He’s a cripple. He’s in a wheel chair, Duh where else. He sat there (in the wheel chair) and looked at the wall. Not thinking of anything. Because his mind is as crippled as his legs. (To much sun) A sudden thought rushed through his empty head, It went by really, really fast. So fast he didn’t quite know what it was. He thought about not thinking for abit, but found he couldn’t think. Suddenly Piotre Rasputen bursted through the doors that were attached to the wall. He ran to get the professor (why a cripple in mind and body could be called professor, I don’t know.) The big Russian Jahoosafelta was running to fast and couldn’t stop in time to not cause serious bodily harm to the dumb bald guy. He tripped over the wheel chair and it’s occupant and now the "professor" was a cripple in neck too.

"Voopsee doodle." Said the Russian guy.

Piotre transformed into his steel like mode. Falling through a window and on to Wolverine.

"You son of a *!%$#" yelled Wolvie, who was shaving at the time.

"You made me slip and cut my leg and make me not so smooth!"

"Oh... Righty oh. Oh I go then." Said Colossus in a strange British accent.

The russian metal man walked out of the room and Wolverine continued to shave his legs.

"Wait’ll Red gets a load of these gams!" He said as he ran his hands up and down the now smooth legs.

"Oooh Sexy!"

Wolverine jumped out of his second floor window and did several backflips and summersaults landing face first into a pile of cow dung.

"(Sniff sniff)We don’t have cows!"

Beasts looked out of his third story window.

"Sorry wolvie."

Wolverive ran away with tears streaming down his face.

"I’ll (sniff) never make Prom queen now!"

Cyclops other wise known as "whiny Bitch" watched as his team mate ran past. He thought it odd that Wolverine was acting so girly lately. He moved back to making out with Jean Grey otherwise known as"Skank" Scott lifted his leg as they kissed and giggled like a school girl.

Jean held Whiny Bitch back and leaned against a statue whose large member was sticking out right at her face. The professor liked to collect statues of naked men with erect Penises.

"Scott?" She asked him.

"What is it my love?" He said as he moved over to her in a feminine manner.

"I-It’s about the wild passionate sex that we have everynight. It’s just that you seem to be distancing yourself from me and I feel left out. You always act alone. Your just not as good a lover as you used to be."

"Oh be Niiiiice!" Whiny Bitch said as he waved his hand in a feminine manner.

"I-I want to break up with you!" She said hitting her head off of the erect concrete Penis as she threw her head back for emphasis.

Tears of pain and suffering began to well up in Scott’s eyes and his bottom lip started to quiver like a two year olds.

"(Snif snif) Y-You don’t LOVE me anymore!" He yelled and he ran off in the other direction flailing his arms like a woman. Jean tried to run after him, but she hit her head off the penis again and knocked herself unconcious. Scott ran away not caring where she uh He went. During his trek acros the Xavier mansions soil he trampled an excited Gambit who was currently hitting on Jubilee.

"Hey chere. Want to take a kinitic cagun for a wild ride!!!" He siad hoping to actually get some for once.

"You sick Petafile!!" Screamed Jubilee as she hoofed him in the testicales.

"OOOOOOKKK!!" yelled Gambit in a newly found High pitched girly voice.

"Damn girl you got spunk, I like that in a woman."

"EHHHHWWWWWW!" she yelled hoofing him once more in the genitals.

She runs away, then decides to turn around and give Gambit anouther quick kick to the sack. Gambit begins to cry on the ground as he holds his testicales in pain. Then he squeezes his nuts to hard and passes out from pain. Jubilee runs away to tell Rougue and get her to kick his ass.

Later in the danger room where Rogue is beating the snot out of some robots, (who technically don’t have snot but for the sake of the story they do) when she is interupted by Jubilee.

"Holy crap!" Jubilee yells as danger room robot flies past(snot and everything).

"Well watch your self fool!" screams Rogue punching anouther robot through a wall or two.

"Sorry Rogue, I’ll be sure to look where your punching a robot next time OK!" Jubilee said sarcastically.

"Well that would help I supose. But why are you here anywho." Asked Rogue.

"Gambit attempted to petafile me and I-I feel so used!!" Jubilee said, starting to cry.

"Well I’ll fix him!" answered Rogue flying off to kick Gambit in the Gonads.

Meanwhile Gambit in an attempt to fix his broken nuts asked Jean to suck on them till they got better. Which she declined and hoofed him in the testicales once again.

"It looks like this cajun will have a high pitched voice (much like Cyclops’ but more masculine) for quite some time." he moaned.

Rogue finally finding Gambit decides to mess with his head for a bit, namely by bouncing it off the wall for about ten minutes! Then Rogue gets to the point and kicks Gambit’s nuts into outer space, literally, I mean Gambit’s testicales where found three months later by a cruising nasa shuttle. Now back to our story. Amm, where was I anyway, Oh well, Cyclops has run away for good he says. (But we all know he’s in the garage and will come out in an hour for something to eat). Jean, after refusing the now ball deprived Gambit of his offer to lick his nut sack (no matter how tempted she was to do it)Is now looking for whiny bitch but found Nightcrawler instead (cause she didn’t look in the garage) Nightcrawler was currently sticking to the ceiling (with the help of his mutant power of course)

"Hello Jean" He said "Looking mighty fine on this lovely morning which God hath granted for our mortal souls to behold."

Jean grabbed him by his furry blue tail and yanked him off of the ceiling. The blue elf mutant fell off and landed face first onto the floor. Jean picked him up and set him on his feet.

"Why are you getting all fresh on me fur boy?" She asked as Night Crawler also known as "Elf Boy who is Blue"

"I believe that you’ll find the answer once though give the blow to the servant of god making all feel right and glorious feelings invade our bodys like the Germans and France." NightCrawler said going into full priest mode.

Jean scratched her chin looking at the blue devil in a strange way. "Aaaand In English?"

Nightcrawler sighed and put his fists on his hips "Okay hows this? Hey Baby shake that groove thang and get over here and suck my love stick till it pops."

Jean shrugged and they went at it for the next two hours or so. Just, y’know, foolin around. Nightcrawler came out of his room later with his clothes on backwards and smoking a cigarette. He met Cyclops on the may out who looked into the room and seeing Jean naked and onthe floor began screaming like a little girl.

"WAAAHHH!! My girlfriend is cheating on me! " Nightcrawler took Cyclops aside (after readjusting his suit to fit properly) to have a word with him.

"Cyclops though must realize that Jean is a very loose girl. I should know after two hours alone with her she’s very loose. What I’m trying to say is, well, she gets around."

Cyclops looked at Nightcrawler confused. "WAH?"

Nightcrawler sighed and after pulling out five bucks and handing it to Whiney Bitch said. "Here go buy yourself a new skirt for your wardrobe."

Cyclops squeeled(femininely of course) and ran down the hallway and towards the door on his rush out the door he nearly trampled Psylocke who was currently entering the X-mansion on her way back from Da corner wit Bishop. She looked over at Nightcrawler confusedly. And as she walked towards him she asked.

"What was the Bitch whining about this time?"

Nightcrawler just shrugged his shoulders. "I was doin the nasty with his Ho."

Psylocke nodded her head in a (It all makes sense to me now) sort of way. " aahh! Well I get her tomorrow night Kay?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Okay."

Betsy walked off in a victorious manner. "YEEEEEESSSSS! Get it on with the red head bitch!"

Betsy walked into the dining room where she met Bobby Drake otherwise known as "Iceman" or "Frosty the Snowman".

"Damn it’s cold here" said bobby climbing out of the deep freeze fridge.

"Well that’ll teach you to pack the deep freeze fridge (custom made only 9999.99 special price) With salami then lie down in it."

"OK then...." said Frosty Who began to puff on his corn cob pipe.

"Hey guess what I’m getting it on with red!! Lesbionic sex at last!" screamed psylocke in triumph.

"Cool I got her next ok" Fixing his button nose.

"Sure thing, you can have her right after or next morning." said Bets, still basking in her victory in gay sex .

"YesS!" He exclaimed(rather exclaimitory now isn’t he) "got to go now " He said tipping his top hat w(which apears to have some magical properties) His eyes two coal twinkled and he ran off to play with the kids that made him or you know melt or something.

In abit Frosty met up with Banshee who at the moment was trying to out scream Cyclops but seems to not be winning (Whiny is really bitchy, hence the name whiny bitch) Banshee stops to catch his breath, but cyclops keeps screaming really really loudly.

"Man that bitch can scream!" mentioned banshee casually for some reason whitch is even unknown to me. (Note it is not as casually as people mention having sex for over an hour with Jean)

"thats very true" said Bobby or Frosty as he is more commonly called.

"Yeah, I’m thinking of retiring and giving my job to bitch over here." said the scots man .

" If all I could do is scream a lot, I’d give my job to bitch over there too." said snowman.

And so it came to pass any mutant who could only scream would retire and give their job to the whiny bitch named Cyclops. Here declares the ultimate person, Me. Ok then back to the story. So Frosty needed to get some groceries for some odd reason, Although we all know he is a crack fiend. So anyway he is going to the corner to get some high quality crack cocaine. So we will skip through some trip stuff (although Frosty would most certainly protest to skiping trips). Ok so we are at the corner or Da corner as it was aforementioned. So Bobby meets up with bishop who has the nicest way to jip his customers, Ok this will only work if you can timetravel. So he sells the crack then teleports or something into the future steals the crack and goes back and seals it to them again making somewhere between four to five billion dollars a day.

"Hey you got my pound and a half of snifity?" Bobby asked Bishop who was also known as "Time Pimp"

"Yeah" Bishop said handing Frosty his pound and a half of pure 100% Crack Cocaine. "Here it is. Yah getting Jean tonight?"

"Nah tomorrow. But I might as well stock up ahead of time. Betsy’s got the Ho for the night." Bishop frowned thinking back on a memory.

He had asked Jean if she wanted to be his ho for hire. But she declined his tempting offer. She had said that she did it just because and that she got enough money from guys trying to buy her heart literally.

Back in the Present Bobby walked off back to the X-Mansion sniffing his Poogly (or at least that’s what he liked to call it) Bishop back on Da Corner was getting lonely. He had no customers around and he was desperate for attention. He blew a dog whistle that he had pulled out from his pocket and blew into it as hard as he could. A few seconds later Storm flew down to Da Corner.

"What is it you wish of me Pimp Master B?" She asked as she called up a wind to make her clothes look dramatic and sexy.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Bishop yelled as he slapped her on the ass as hard as he could. "Don’t be pulling that rhyming SHIT around me I tol you. You Da Ho. I Da Pimp. Do what I say no questions asked GOT IT?!" He yelled. Storm rubbed her heiny and smiled at him flashing her pearly whites in his direction like an obedient, well, bitch.

Bishop continued in a strictly business manner. "Now I’ve got a new assignment for you once you’ve finished popping my Cock Rocket. I want you to go after the big rich guy Warren also known as "Archangel" and "Rich pretty boy" You know him right? Storm nodded. "Good." Bishop said and then slapped her on her ass again as hard as he could.

Bishop and Storm did it on the bench and she went off to find Warren.

{That’s the first chapter now I want other people to read this and then send in their story to me based on right after this part and I want it to tie in with this story so you can E-mail me at anime_morden@crystal-tokyo.com where I will confirm your asking to write the next part and then you can send it back in. I will post it both on my web site and on Fanfiction.net as well. So Get a writing people. Oh and by the way unless you didn’t figure it out this story has no significant meaning or theme it’s just random shit. It’s Parody. Make fun of y’know just for laughs.}