Sacred Writ of Bob

The Sacred Writ of Bob

(The final will and testament of Bob Ingles)

My loyal subjects:

Greetings fellow Bobs. As I close out my career on the High Throne of Bobdom, my lone hope is that my

followers should maintain the Bob dynasty intact. I have drafted the following Holy List of the Thirteen

Commandments of the Most High Bob from the wisdom of my previous experiences. It is my expectation

that all in the High Council uphold the these principles of inner sanctity:

1- Thou shalt always remain loyal to the Higher Order of Bob, and act in the best interests of the

organization. Thou shalt not betray a fellow Bob, lest ye die.

2- The esteemed acting leader shalt be fair. One must remembereth the Holy Bobdom is a democracy.

3- Thou shalt respect thy brothers in Bob as if thine lives dependeth upon it. Maintaineth confidentiality

of thine brother’s information. Respecteth the opinions of thy brothers even if Thou dost not agree.

4- Thou shalt stick together, lest ye tempteth the evil waters of the dreaded Urine Showers alone. Always

will there be strength in numbers.

5- Thou shalt keep the art of kissing thy neighbor’s butt to a minimum. Thou shalt not extend thy lips to

the buttocks of one of the unwritten “Eternal List of Buttholes” (Phillip, Kiefer, etc.) lest ye be eternally

[darned].

6- Thou shalt exhibit generosity abundantly, but not overflowing. A strong-minded Bob letteth not

others taketh advantage of him.

7- Thou shalt never break thine promises, and shalt strive to repay favors bestowed upon thee from

members and non-members alike. A lack of allies shall proveth disastrous.

8- No follower of the doctrine of Bob shalt ever participate in fornication with a facilitator of the an

instrument of the Devil, which includeth Oboe, Bassoon, or any other of the various sundry of condemned

woodwind players.

9- Thou shalt not participate in fornication with another of the same gender as thee.

(9b.)Thou shalt not have sex with Stevra.

10- Thou shalt willfully slack off in remembrance of me.

11- Thou shalt use thy common sense, if available, to the best of thine ability.

12- There shalt always be at least a three-fifths Trumpet majority in Thine Higher Order. The Esteemed

Leader must always be a Trumpet.

13- Thou shalt not participate in activities, or commit ludicrous actions that I, the exalted Bob Ingles,

wouldeth not condone.

To maintain membership in the Higher Council, or to be inducted into the High Council, one must pledge to

uphold these most simple guidelines by adding your signature to this document. New members to the

Higher Council must be unanimously approved by the Council. Any other rules and regulations of the

High Council’s everyday functions and all other leadership duties are hereby forfeited to the chosen Heir to

the Throne of the Most High Bob, to create or use at his discretion.. This is to be kept in the music folder

of the President.

Your humble leader,

Bob Ingles I, Most High Bob

We, the undersigned, shall hereby observe the aforementioned commandments.