Feedback welcome at jb7811@bellsouth.net
Disclaimers: None of these characters belong to me. I borrowed them without permission, but put them right back.
Notes: A long time ago I wrote two short pieces describing the
same set of events in Fraser's POV and Ray's POV. I had planned to
do the same with Diefenbaker, but he decided to tell about a different
event that takes place some time later. I wasn't about to argue with
a *wolf*, but I also couldn't come up with a new title that I liked half
as much. Reading the first two are not necessary.
Thanks to Nicole for beta.
Summary: A short bit of musing from Diefenbaker...
--------------------------------------------
Humans are such funny creatures. They make everything so complicated. Take mating for instance. When I met my Maggie, all I had to do was sniff her a few times and show off my hunting skills--even if these days I hunt more donuts than caribou. Oh, yeah donuts... I know lots of tricks to get those. City living is not so bad once you understand that humans are gullible creatures who generally fall for a pair of big eyes and a cute little whimper. I can do cute when I have to, but I prefer to use stealth and cunning when I can. Have to keep the skills sharp for those times when my human decides to head back to the wilderness.
My human packmate is called many things, but I think of him as Ben most of the time. I love the guy, but he really likes to complicate things. And frankly, his choice of potential mates usually stinks. That female with the long dark fur *shot* me. Me! And the female with the short dark fur is always snapping at me, not unlike that feisty Chihuahua bitch on the next block. At least Chi-Chi lets me sniff her occasionally, but the one Ben calls "Inspector" gets very upset when I try that with her. I have to admit that the way she jumps is pretty entertaining. She doesn't even recognize that I'm laughing at her, although Ben does and often reprimands me in private later--not that it ever stops me from doing it again.
Ben is showing much better taste in mates these days. In other words, we've added a new member to our little pack. This one is male and has short fur in that sun color that is my favorite. He is called Ray, but he's not like the *other* one that was called Ray, although some of the humans we encounter think they are the same person. What is wrong with these humans? Can't they *smell* the difference? Our Ray smells leathery and minty and quite a bit like Ben since they started rolling around together. The other-human-called-Ray smelled like that stuff in the bottles at that little store where they let Ben bring me inside. It was a nice spicy scent, but completely different from our Ray.
The other-human-called-Ray was like a dog or a wolf who didn't accept his place in the pack. He was constantly challenging Ben for dominance. Ben is Alpha. I got that early on, but the other Ray never did. At first, it was kind of fun to watch, but it got tiresome after a while. Our new Ray is totally different. He doesn't seem to know he's part of the pack at all. I think he's part...*cat*. Well, look at the way he moves, and how he rubs up against Ben, as if our packmate was some sort of scratching post. He's very independent, too. He doesn't fight for the Alpha position as much as ignore that there is such a thing. Maybe he doesn't recognize the way of the pack, or maybe he's just sneaky enough to pretend that he doesn't? Probably the second. It would be the most cat-like.
Our Ray doesn't complain when I ride in his car. He never tells me to get off the furniture either. He talks to me, and sneaks me things that Ben doesn't know about--like the occasional donut or slice of pizza. The only thing is, he won't let me play with the turtle. I'm not going to *eat* it. Why should I when I've got humans handing me much tastier things all day long? No, I just want to play with it, but Ray keeps it up on a shelf in a glass box where I can see it but I can't quite get to it.
I want that shellback, and I think I know how to get it. All I have to do is turn the box over, and there it is right in my paws. I'll just nudge it with my nose this way and then...
::CRASH::
::YELP::
"Diefenbaker!"
I didn't know it was going to do *that*, I swear. Awww, Ben, don't tell me you're *disappointed*--anything but that.
No, no, Ray, I didn't mean...I wasn't going to *kill* it. I only kill to protect or eat. I just wanted to play with it a little. You know, bat it around, bounce it off the furniture, watch it slide across the floor until it hit the wall. It would have been just like the game that you and Ben watch where the men with sticks slide that little flat rock around the ice. It would have been fun. C'mon Ray, give it a try. You'll see I'm right.
::sigh whimper:: I'll give him the eyes. That works every time.
"Come on, Ben, go easy on Dief. It's okay. The turtle's not hurt. We'll put it someplace safer next time."
See, what did I say? Works every time. The humans are such pushovers for cute. Now I'll go give a few hand licks and get a nice belly rub and a scratch behind the ears to make up for my trauma.
Hey, what the--? That was supposed to be *my* belly getting rubbed. Humph! I guess Ray's a wolf after all. He's giving Ben the eyes--my trick!--and he's getting a belly rub for his troubles. But...Ben never rubbed me down *there*, no matter how cute I was. I may have to watch more closely and rethink this Alpha thing.
The End.