Some tips and suggestions, in no particular order, for being on a Mailing
List without aggravating all the other people on the list.
Special thanks to Guest-Ranter Mousehounde. Shout outs to Killa,
Luminosity, Penny, and Suze for suggestions and to Deb and Dorothy for
the conversations that started it all.
1. There is no need to quote the ENTIRE message--especially if you are commenting on a story. Please cut all the extraneous parts--leave just what you want to specifically comment on. It's very inconsiderate for people who pay a lot for Internet time and/or have limited access to have to download long messages that basically say "Good story" and then leave the whole thing attached, and it's just irritating to the rest of us.
2. OTOH, don't post cryptic messages like "That can't be right." Or "Yeah, I totally agree!" without quoting a line or two of what exactly you are referring to.
3. If you change the subject, change the subject line. This is another simple rule that seems to go over a lot of people's heads (probably my own too on occasion, but still...).
4. If a conversation starts to get personal or of more and more limited interest to the list at large, take it to private e-mail. There's no reason in the world to tell 300 strangers what you did at school today or what a bastard your boyfriend is or how many glasses of wine you had while watching your team win the world series. If it's not on-topic for the list, take it private.
5. For heaven's sake, please don't start referring to the list as "a FAMILY". We are not a family, just because we share the same interest in a certain type of fiction or a television show. Yes, there can be online communities that are like family, but not anything that can be joined by going to onelist/egroups, clicking a button, and sending an age statement. Families take time and work, and frankly, a lot of us come on line to get away from our real families. We don't need all the baggage of adding another.
6. If you are on a list full of fanfic writers, don't get snotty and condescending just because you only write original fic. If you are on a list full of fanfic writers who post to the Net, don't get snotty and condescending because you only put your stuff in Zines. [OK, I admit, these aren't *widespread* problems just a few people who have really irritated me on more than a couple of occasions]
7. Please don't talk about your sex life. That is just way too much information.
8. If you are stupid, don't post. Save the rest of us the aggravation. [I know this is probably pointless because most stupid people don't recognize that they are, in fact, stupid and they certainly don't read my webpage. But hey, I've been wanting to get that off my chest for years.]
9. Please don't post links and say "Hey guys, check this out!" without giving some hint as to what we're going to see. Some folks don't have the time to mindlessly click links to see what some person on a list thought was so amusing/astonishing/whatever. Some, like me, just prefer to make an informed decision on whether to click or not.
10. A lot of people are going to disagree with this one, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it anyway. Unless you are specifically *recommending* a story or asking a *question* that may be of interest to other readers, don't send feedback to the list. a) Why should I care if you liked Story X? That is of interest only to you and the writer. b) It fills up the list (pointlessly) because... c) The writer will have to respond on list to avoid looking like an ungrateful bitch. Again, unless you have asked a question that others may need to know the answer to, that reply will only be of interest to you and the writer. d) Onlist feedback can spoil the story for anyone with a "preview window" mail program (like Outlook Express) so you can't just say "Don't read the feedback". It pops up anyway if it's the next message in the box. (and I *like* the preview window, so there.)
11. If someone sends out a question or announcement to a whole bunch of lists and you have something to say in return, please, PLEASE do not hit "Reply All". This should be self-explanatory.
12. If someone posts something that just pisses you completely off, go ahead and write your scathing response... and then WAIT a day, or at least a few hours before you send it. Once you get over your anger or hurt or whatever, read it and see if it still needs to be said. Some people just do not know how they are coming across and might need to be told so in no uncertain terms, but the lesson will be better received by everyone if it's at least somewhat reasoned.
13. This one's not really annoying to others, but will save some embarrassment and possible hurt feelings. Check the To: field. Make sure that you know if you are talking to an individual or the entire list--especially if #12 is at all a factor. ;-)
14. Please don't have a sig. that's longer than your average message.
15. Read the FAQ and/or Welcome Message for the list. Learn it, know it, KEEP it, so you won't have to ask how to go on digest or how to unsubscribe. A lot of these other suggestions are also covered in the FAQ/Welcome--specifically what is allowed to be posted on the list and procedures for posting fic, etc.
16. Turn off the html feature in your mail program. And NO, you cannot send an attachment, so don't ask!
17. If you ever feel compelled to write, "OK, fine, I just won't post here any more," please keep your promise.
Mousehounde adds:
18. At the end of the day when you are checking your mail, or whenever
you
check it, it is not necessary to respond to each and every item
that was
posted to the list in your absence. No one wants to have
to wade through 10
or 15 messages from you that basically say "Oooh, Oooh! Me too!"
Keep it
up too long and if you do ever post an item of interest, odds are that
nobody will read because it will have been deleted offhand as irrelevant.
19. Multiple cross posting is bad! If you are on 14 [random
number]
different lists and you need to find something or ask a question, DO
NOT
post it to every list you are on. If we share one list, chances
are we share
some of the same interests and some of the same other lists.
Pick one list
that you feel is most likely to get you your information. Post
and then wait
for a reply. If that list can't help you, choose another.
I am pretty sure
that the world as we know will not come to a crashing halt because
you can't
find story X, right now, if not sooner. I do not want or need
14 copies of
the same post. I also do not need 14 additional posts from you
with the
words "Got it! Thanks everyone!" and if you are going to flood my inbox
with
28 posts just so you can find a story, at least have the courtesy to
post
the URL for it in your 'thank you' posts. Hey, it might be something
I would
like, and I deserve something for the aggravation you just put me through.
20. It is really great that you feel strongly about gay rights or women's
rights or animal rights or {insert topic} but if you have to put "OT"
in the
subject header and apologize before the actual message, don't send
it to the
list and don't cross post it. Also, Postcards or e-cards,
I don't care how
cute you think they are, just say no.
21. No matter how out of hand or flamelike or angry you personally
think that
a discussion topic is becoming or may become, please, Please do not
respond with any post that in any way, shape, or form, asks "Why can't
we
all just get along and play nice? Group hug, everyone!"
And on the same
topic, No, it is not your place to jump in before the List Admin with
a
"Take it off list" post.
22. And this is just a personal quirk, but it bugs me. The
person or persons
who own or operate 'whatever' list are the "List Owner(s)" or the "List
Administrator(s). They are not the "Mommy" or "Daddy".
It sounds stupid and
childish. It is bad enough when the list members do it, but when
the List
Admin falls into 'childspeak', it borders on creepy.