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I’d have – For your love

I’d have walked barefoot on hot coals

For your love
I’d have fought any demon large or small
For your love
I’d have given up any family, any friend
For your love
I’d have done anything you asked
For your love
If only you had believed
As I did
For your love
I’d have done anything
I’d have held your hand as you cried
For your love
I’d have given my life
For your love
I’d have crossed any mountain
For your love
If only you had believed
As I did
For your love
I’d have done anything
If you'd have just done something for mine

You are everything I don't want in my life
No college degree
No steady job
No belief in love or forever
No desire to be with me
You smoke
You drink
You think too much of yourself
You're too afraid to take chances
And to hold my hand
You held me as a dirty little secret for far too long
And yet,
My heart won't let you go,
I can't convince myself
That you aren't my other half
You are everything I don't want in my life
And everything I need

Wishing on Shooting Stars

Last night
As I danced under the moonlight
In another’s arms
I saw a shooting star
And my mind immediately thought of you
What was I doing?
Thinking of you?
When another’s arms held me tight
What was I thinking dancing in the moonlight
And in that split second,
I made a wish
One my heart will pay for
I wished for you
And I closed my eyes
Laid my head on his shoulder,
Breathed deep and swayed to the music
Pretending for a while
It was your arms in the moonlight
I danced in last night
Under the shooting star
Where my heart dances still
In your arms
Where I really want to be

I’ve told the truth,
I’ve tried to play the games
I’ve stood silently by
As you walked out the door
I’ve told lies to my heart
Made my mind believe the false
I’ve left and returned time after time
Waiting on your love
I’ve never stopped loving you
The way you should be loved
The way that scares you
With every fiber of my soul
Every inch of my being
I’ve never stopped
Even when we were holding another

Never again

Never again will you hear me say
Just how much I love you
Never again will I point out
How much you love me
Never again will I admit
That I care more than I should
Never again will I let myself
Believe we have another chance
Never again will I allow myself to love you
Never again will I believe
Never again

Why did I trust you

Why did I trust you
When I knew you didn’t mean it
When I knew you would be looking
Why did I trust you
When even my heart warned me
Why did I trust you
When I knew you still weren’t ready to love me
Why did I trust you
When I knew I’d never be enough
Why did I trust you
When I spent every waking moment reminding myself
Why did I trust you
When I knew I loved you still

Everyone Has Someone

Everyone has someone
They think of when it’s quiet
When the music is low
And their hearts want to cry
There is someone everyone remembers
When that song comes on the radio
The one we wish we could say worked out
The one we wonder if maybe….
Everyone has someone
They long for when life deals them out
Someone that they see in every face on the street
Everyone has someone
They wish they didn’t have to live without.

You said that there were times When you'd asked me to marry you Not straight out, but in your round about way Had I known that was the question I'd have married you in a heartbeat Without ever looking back No doubt or hesitation I'd even have moved my children To Leesville so I could wake next to you Each and every morning I'd have been proud to announce my love To walk beside you Had I known I'd have been the happiest person on earth And I'd have loved you even better I'm not sure how, but I'd have found the way I'd have been honored to be your wife I only wished you'd asked I only wish I'd known that was the question.	I remember the way you smile What you smell like I remember the your voice The feel of you hair in my hand I remember your snore The way our feet had to touch I remember holding your hand Your laugh in the dark I remember the sound of your voice When you found me crying I remember the hug you gave me Before you left I remember the sound of my heart breaking As it fell in pieces I wish I could remember The way to want you out of my life.
For you things ended, we stopped being So the old past is over for you For me, it never ended, it was just postponed Those years apart, for me We weren't apart, we just weren't speaking You just weren't physically here Oh, but trust me, you were here In my mind, in my dreams, and always in my heart It never ended for me I loved you still, I simply learned to live without you And now, I fear needing you like that again I fear loving you the way I did I fear you still don't love me For you the past doesn't exist For me, for my love It never ended I never stopped loving you Thinking of you You were still a part of my life Maybe not daily But you were there - in my memory In my heart You were always there It never ended for me I just was waiting it out And loving you every moment	This is exactly where I never wanted to be again I had never wanted to care for you again Not in the here and now I never wanted to doubt myself again You don't know what it's like for me I don't think you really even care Can't you get your kicks Somewhere else You won't accept that I love you That my heart, I'm afraid Oh so afraid Will belong to you forever Yet, you must bring my hopes up To just dash them in an instant You don't have money to come see me But you do to see others You do to bring them to you God, just stay out of my life If you won't come into it forever Stay away Let me love someone Even if they never love me Let me throw my life away on someone else You really don't want a life with me I'm back where I never wanted to be again And you loving someone else
Once I prayed for God To send me someone to love Then I prayed for God To change me so someone could love me For a while I prayed for acceptance That there wouldn't be anyone else to love Now I pray to God To please just let it end The thought of living each day Talking to myself, alone Facing a world of loneliness It's simply more than I can bear I want to start over in another life Where maybe in the next go around I'll find someone to spend my life with I'll find someone who loves me.	I try to concentrate on the bad in our relationships I try to forget the hours we talked How our feet touched as we slept - always How you'd lay your head in my lap and soundly sleep I tried to forget how you smile The sound of your breathing as you slept next to me Your laughter when we'd joke and play I try not to remember how it felt To walk beside you, your arm around me I try only to remember You don't love me And you'll never stand beside me I try not to remember we were once happy
All I wanted All I needed Was for you to come to me Or at the very least meet me halfway You went to her And you didn’t claim to feel for her What you want me to believe you did for me But there is no time or reason For my jealousy now You’ve made your choice crystal clear Still I needed you to do that To show me a little proof that After all you put me through, All the lies, all the pain, All the putting me last in your life, You were willing to be there for me That you’d go that extra mile So I could trust you I need that to be with you But you wouldn’t And in an instant I guess I knew You’ll never love me enough If you ever did Not to put yourself first All I needed was a weekend of travel Something you didn’t even have to pay for And you couldn’t do it. I loved you Wanted you even longer Needed you even more And you couldn’t do it. All I needed was for you to meet me Just halfway After everything, after it all Was that just too much to ask? For me to love you for the rest of your life To be the one in your arms Was it too much to ask? Too much to hope for? ? Josh, I wonder sometimes if you really ever stop to think about what you are doing. Do you ever consider anyone else other than yourself? If nothing else, can't you accept that I love you and if you can't commit to that and accept that then can't you just decide to stay out of my life? I can't keep doing this, opening my heart and then having it destroyed. Yes, the issues were mine and I was wrong, I can admit that. But you stopped loving me where I never stopped loving you -- I would think you'd understand that. You never have understood or believed my pain and I guess that is the worst part of it all. Can't you just understand that I love you and want you in my life - forever? Why isn't that ever enough?	We are locked in a power struggle Something I know I'll never win Eventually you will turn back to another Or find someone new But you'll never take the step That will prove to me That you really want to be with me And without that I can't trust that you do It's a power struggle That will hurt me in the end Because you won't give in And I can't I'm too afraid You will never really know Just how black that time was for me Or what it did to me How much it hurt And how afraid I was Things you think of me The strength you see in me It was gone and I was nothing but a shell A broken, battered, hollow shell There were those who doubted I'd ever come back People close to me Expected the worst I survived, not for me But because of the boys I couldn't figure a way out That wouldn't hurt them I thought of taking them with me It really dominated my thoughts for quite some time But Alex's sweet smile and love of life And the fact that Zak's brains will save lives Kept me from it I spent days and weekends and weeks in bed Praying for God to take me Searching for a plan - a way out But unable to find one In the hell I was in So a year of counseling Twice a week, I organized and dissected Every bit of my life Every bit of the pain And I got the validation I could never get from you And I can't do that power struggle again I need you to do something for me Just this once, to take a risk on me Perhaps you'll remember what it was like For you When you learned the truths of others Who held your heart Maybe you'll remember how you'd have rather died Than to remember that it was over They had taken back their love No longer to care about you I can't do another power struggle When I need for you to prove One simple little thing That you want me Me and only me Then I could be free of the fear that grips me when I sleep And I could love you again Without fear Without the power struggle
I’d have – For your love I’d have walked barefoot on hot coals For your love I’d have fought any demon large or small For your love I’d have given up any family, any friend For your love I’d have done anything you asked For your love If only you had believed As I did For your love I’d have done anything I’d have held your hand as you cried For your love I’d have given my life For your love I’d have crossed any mountain For your love If only you had believed As I did For your love I’d have done anything If you'd have just done something for mine	You are everything I don't want in my life No college degree No steady job No belief in love or forever No desire to be with me You smoke You drink You think too much of yourself You're too afraid to take chances And to hold my hand You held me as a dirty little secret for far too long And yet, My heart won't let you go, I can't convince myself That you aren't my other half You are everything I don't want in my life And everything I need