Title: Broken Bond Part 1

Time: Around New Years 2002

Authors email: Kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: SMAP does not belong to me. Their bodies might belong to

Johnny's Jimusho talent agency. Their souls belong to themselves. Also, I

Really don't think the real Takuya Kimura is as evil as this in real life.

He just makes a great bad guy. Also, any wives etc are fictional and made

up by me. They are not meant to portray any real person.

Note: This story features Inherited Vampires. These type of vampires where

created by the fanfic author Katrinka. Her concept used with her

permission. The basic difference between inherited vampires and regular

vampires is the fact that Inherited can have children, and go out during

the day. Their children will also be a vampire, crossing over in their teens.

Archiving: Do not archive without express permission from the author.

Katrinka is the only one who has permission to archive.

Everyone else must ask.

Time: sometime January 2002

It had been a rough half-year for Inagaki Goro. In August he had done something incredibly stupid, by letting a simple traffic ticket turn into a hit and run. He had been found innocent of the charges brought against him, but still the management hadn't let him rejoin SMAP. He had been ruined.

Goro had tried to go on with his life. It wasn't easy. He still wasn't allowed out much. The agency still held influence over his life. He didn't mind not going out. Even if he could have left the apartment, there was nothing else to do. There was only day after day of emptiness. He felt like half of his soul had been ripped out. Leaving only a husk that was now Inagaki Goro.

Shingo sat on the couch in Goro's apartment. He picked up one of the books on the coffee table. He flipped through it. "What's this?"

"Textbook." His friends in SMAP hadn't deserted him. Making sure at least one member visited once a week. This week, it was the turn of the over grown teenager. "I've been taking some college classes."

"How? What college would let you in during September?" Shingo asked skeptically. "You didn't even take the entrance exam."

"I'm taking classes from an online college. You don't have to pass a test to get in." Goro explained.

"Why would you do something like that?"

"I was fired from SMAP, so I have to find a new career." He told Shingo. "I thought I might become a teacher. In America."

"America?"

"I like America. I want a new life." He took the book from Shingo. "What about you? Any solo projects?"

"Tsuyopon and I are working on a project together." Shingo smiled. "It's nice to get to see him everyday."

"That's the bad thing about SMAP. We're... I mean you are so busy that you only see each other once a week." Goro mused. "How's it like working with Tsuyoshi?"

"Wonderful." Shingo's eyes settled on the photos on the wall.

"How is Kimura doing?" Goro finally asked.

"You haven't seen him?"

"Not since the day of the accident." he paused. "He broke up with me, remember?"

"If you want to know the truth, he's been acting like a madman. He is very short temper." Shingo confessed. "He doesn't take a day off. All he wants to do is work. He says it keeps his mind off of things."

"What kind of things?"

"You don't know?" Shingo raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to get back with him?"

"I've emailed him about it. But he's turned me down." Goro said sadly. "But everyday he emails me, so I think there's a chance."

Goro felt a wave of emptiness overcome him. For a moment he blacked out. Suddenly Shingo was at his side. "What is it?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

"I will." Shingo promised.

"When Kimura broke up with me, it felt like half of my soul was torn away." Goro tried to explain. "Now everyday, bit by bit, more of my soul is being taken away."

"Have you seen a doctor about this?"

"To do what? I'm going insane. I don't want to go to the hospital." Goro said very softly. "Soon, very soon I will have no soul left. Everything will be gone. I'll become nosfuartu."

"What does you soul say it needs to get better?" Shingo asked.

"I need Kimura back in my life." He said sadly. "My soul cries to rebond with him. But that will never happen. I will be alone for the rest of my life."

*******************

Kimura sat at his computer. Emails, they had been the only way he had kept in contact with Goro, his former lover and slave. He could still remember the words that he had overheard Goro tell Shingo.

"Does he know you love him?" Shingo asked.

"No. I can't let him know. He would use my love for him against me." Goro

smiled sadly. "I'm one of those pathetic prisoners who love their jailers."

"You're not pathetic."

"I am." He said so softly. "If he let me free, I'm not sure I'd go."

Kimura had always assumed that his love for Goro wasn't real. That it was only the side effect of all the times he had taken Goro's blood. In the year that they had been apart, Kimura's love for Goro hadn't diminished. Instead, it had grown to the point that he wanted to spend eternity with Goro. That their time apart had made Kimura realize how much he really needed him.

Kimura becoming a werewolf/vampire hybrid, he knew that would never happen.

Still the empty feeling hadn't left him. He had noticed it the day he broke up with Goro. It grew to being almost unbearable since Goro's firing. It was like half of him had been taken away.

Goro had first emailed Kimura a few days after his release from prison. It was a simple 'how are you? How is SMAP?" Type email. Kimura had written him back in detail. He had included picture of the baby.

The child they shared was the excuse Kimura used to email Goro. Legally the baby was Kimura's. When he had found out that Goro's girl friend was pregnant, he had hypnotized her into believing the baby was his. They had gotten married soon afterwards.

Kimura had asked his former lover several times if he wanted Kimura to give Kari's memories back. Goro had turned it down. He simply said. "We can't turn back time." The answer made no sense to Kimura.

He opened Goro's latest email.

"Today's the anniversary of you crossing me over. I've never thanked you for saving my life. Perhaps it was because I resented you so much for making me your slave. Now I realize I am alive now because of you. Thank you."

"I thought you should know that I've been taking college classes over the internet. I've realized I must start a new life. Perhaps a good place to do it is in America. I remember when we went to America together."

"We had our first time in America. It will always hold a place in my heart because of that. It's strange how much I realized I loved you. We never had a commitment. You only used me when you couldn't have someone else. I was simply your slave. But I always looked forward to the times you held me. I want to be friends again, just friends, nothing else."

"There has been an empty place in my heart since you left. Since my arrest, I've felt as if a part of me is missing. I no longer feel whole. Is it our broken bond? Will I ever feel better? Bit by bit my soul is being taken from me. I'm sorry; I am feeling sorry for myself again."

"I hope you and Kari are doing well. Hug the baby for me.'

Kimura stared at the letter. Goro had written about the empty feeling. It took almost everything in Kimura's power to hide his depression from others. He wondered if Goro too had trouble hiding it.

Kimura hit reply and began to type. In the emails he could be his real self. "If I had to do it over again, I would never have used you. I would have allowed you to see how much you really meant to me. We would have bonded. All that is in the past now, you are working for a new life. I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. Someone who will make your life whole and complete without giving you the pain that I have. You deserve to find happiness. Even though time has passed, you are still the only one in my heart. "

Kimura touched the send button. Then he reached out through the bond that he had suppressed. He could feel the emptiness that Goro felt. It made him want to go to him. To restore the bond. But he reminded himself, that he was now a hybrid. Goro would have to have a new life, without him.

************

After Shingo left, Goro got to work on his homework. For a brief moment he felt Kimura touch his mind. He felt a great loneliness from Kimura. He reached out to it. But it suddenly was gone.

His doorbell rang. He answered it. Nakai stood, looking impatient. He could feel something from Nakai, a hunger. For the first time he realized Nakai Masahiro was a vampire.

"I see your still hiding in your apartment." Nakai sneered.

"I wasn't hiding,"

"Isn't like you go out all the time." Nakai pushed his way into the apartment. "Last time I heard, you sit around watching TV all day."

"Why are you here?" Goro demanded. "If you came just to fight, you can leave now."

"I'm the leader of SMAP. I came to check on one of my groups members." He took off his coat and sat down.

"I'm no longer a member of SMAP." Goro reminded him. "I was fired."

Nakai took an envelope out of his pocket. "This is a new contract. Sign and your back in."

Goro took the envelope. He opened it and read the contents. Nakai had been right, it was a contract. "Why didn't the agency call me?"

"Kitagawa wants to keep this hush, hush. He doesn't want you showing up at the office." Nakai made a face. "Your coming back will be a surprise."

"When will it happen?"

"You'll return to Smapxsmap in two weeks. Until then, your return is a secret."

Goro found a pen, he signed it. Then he passed the contract back to Nakai, who put it back in his pocket. Goro tried to fight the happiness he felt.

"When you return, I expect you to behave." Nakai told him. "You will keep your temper, and follow the rules."

"Yes, of course." Goro said.

"If the truth be told, I did this for Takuya, not for you." He confessed. "If it were up to me, you would have stayed fired. You're just a self-centered winy little brat that I have to get back to the group."

"So you still hate me."

"You are like the little brother that I can never get rid of." He glared. "Irritating, annoying, frustrating, but needed. I have to have someone to hate."

The answer puzzled Goro. Nakai wanted Goro around to fight with?

"Tell me, if you could get Kimura back, would you?" Nakai asked.

"Why should I tell you that?"

Nakai looked around the room. His eyes settled on the framed photo that was on the wall. It was of Kimura and Goro. It had been taken soon after Kimura had crossed Goro over. Then he looked into Goro's eyes. He could fell himself go under. "You still love him, don't you?"

"I'll always love him." Goro found himself saying.

"Do you want him back?"

"Yes, I do. I want to bond with him."

"Baka, you're all ready bonded with him." Nakai paused. "What if you found out he was a werewolf, would you still bond with him."

"Of course I would." He said. "I want to spend eternity with him."

"I want to know why Takuya is so crazy for you." He began to unfasten Goro's clothes. "I'm going to love you, and you’re not going to fight. Do you understand?"

"I will hate you if you do this."

"What does that matter? You hate me anyway." He let his hand drop. "I can remember when you were first joined the skate boys. Your eyes had the same hurt look they have now."

"Our former manager abused me." Goro reminded him. "When I became involved with Kimura, he saved me from the abuse."

"Yes, he left me to be with you."

"Let’s get it over with."

"I'm sorry, I can't hurt you." Nakai told him. "I do consider you a brother."

Suddenly Goro wasn't under hypnosis. He reached his wrist out. "You want to know about me. Take my blood."

"If you'll take mine."

"No, that's not necessary. Think of it as my gratitude for letting me back in the group" he offered his wrist again.

Nakai took it. Goro watched as Nakai's teeth grew. Then he bit Goro.

*****************

In the Fuji building, Kimura Takuya was studying lines for a sketch for Smapxsmap. He only had a few minutes before it was time for him to go on set. So much had changed on the variety show. Even the Bistro. He was dressed in his bistro chef's uniform. He would compete alone. Before the accident, they had competed in teams. Nakai had always been the owner. Now it was different. The owner's role rotated between the four remaining members of SMAP.

His door opened. Nakai came in and shut the door. He was dressed in his Chef's uniform, which was edged in pink. "I saw him."

"How's he doing?" Kimura tried to sound emotionless. He couldn't let anyone see his concern for Goro.

"He's doing well." Nakai paused. "I thought you where going to tell him about the contract?"

"Must have slipped my mind."

"He signed the contract."

"Great." He looked back down to the paper. "Do you know the lines for the sketch?"

"Of course," He looked Kimura over. "Once we get Goro back, we won't be in too many sketches together."

"I know. We're the two tops."

Just then, an assistant came to the door. "Kimura-san, it's time."

*********************

Kimura tried to act cool on set. He busied himself cooking the dish that the guest ordered.

In the cooking area beside him, Tsuyoshi cooked. His uniform edged in gold. The younger man sang to himself as he cooked.

Kimura sighed; the young man wasn't taking the Bistro serious again.

He glanced at Nakai. His friend was making his specialty, nabe. He couldn't help but notice the pile of bananas. Nakai hated to cook. Not only that, he didn't know many dishes, basically just variations of nabe. He only cooked because of Goro's absence.

Nakai stifled a yawn. He had been working around the clock on New Years specials. Nakai was the busiest member of SMAP, working not just on their show, but a multitude of other shows.

Kimura glanced up to the cafe part of the set. Shingo was acting as host. He made small talk with the guest. The filming of their talk had been finished, so they spent the time chatting.

For the first time, in a long time, the group seemed to be happy. All of them knew about the return of Goro. Everyone but Kimura was happy. Kimura was reminded of the day that Goro was found innocent. The group had assumed that he would be back with them. But the management had decided otherwise.

Tsuyoshi turned and went towards the shared oven. He carried a frying pan. He tripped over a cord on the floor. The pan hit Kimura on the arm. The pain searing his arm.

"Kimura-kun, I'm sorry." Tsuyoshi was suddenly on his feet, trying to wipe the food off of Kimura's uniform.

"Leave me alone!" Kimura sneered. He hit Tsuyoshi hard in the face, which landed on the floor. "You're an idiot!"

Kimura hugged his arm to his chest. He fought the tears that were trying to overcome everything. He turned away from Tsuyoshi. He looked down to his hurt arm. The burn was bad, very bad. Staff members came closer. One guided him to the sink.

"We need to wash your wound." The staff member told him.

"No, I'll be all right."

"Let me see." Nakai told him. Kimura showed him his arm. He examined it. Then he turned and walked off set. Kimura could see him talking to the director.

"I'm sorry." Tsuyoshi went to his side. "I really didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that." Kimura snapped.

"You have to wash it." Tsuyoshi said.

Kimura nodded. He moved his arm so it was under the faucet, and the staff member turned on the water. It hurt, damn it hurt. He felt his fangs grow. Using his tongue he pushed them back in. He couldn't let anyone see his secret.

"Okay, everyone!" The producer yelled. "We've had an accident. We will be taking a break in shooting for three hours."

Nakai went back to Kimura. "Takuya, they've called Dr. Lian, she'll meet us at the hospital."

"I don't want to go to the hospital." Kimura protested. "We're not done with this bistro."

"We can refilm it later." Nakai told him. "What you have to worry now is about your arm."

********************

Kimura hated ambulances. The attendants had been very gentle in taking him to it. Nakai stayed at his side. There hadn't been many people outside the studio, just a small group of fans.

When he got to the hospital all that changed. Photographers were there. Nakai took off his jacket and put it over Kimura's head, hiding him from the photographers.

He was taken right to a room. Dr. Lian came in, and shut the door. She was Kimura's doctor. Like him, she was a vampire.

"What happened?" She asked.

"We had an accident on set." Nakai told her. "Kimura-kun was burned by a pan."

"Nakai-san sit in the corner and stay out of the way." She admonished.

"Of course," Nakai sat on a stool in the corner.

Dr. Lian examined the wound. "Your highness, this is bad."

"I know." Kimura told her.

"You are so lucky you aren't human." She told him. "You would have to have a skin graft."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'll clean the wound and bandage it." She told him. "Then I'll prescribe human blood, six times a day until it's healed."

"Thank you," Kimura said.

"I want you to take a week off and rest your arm."

"I can't do that, I have too many obligations."

The doctor and Kimura argue. Nakai is the one that stops it.

The doctor cleaned Kimura's wound. She then bandaged it.

She kept glancing at Nakai. "Can you come into the next room? There is something I need to ask you."

"Of course," Nakai followed her to the exam room next door. She then shut the door. Kimura closed his eyes and concentrated. Using his vampire hearing he could hear what they were talking about.

"Did Kimura-san try to break a blood bond recently?" The Doctor asked.

"He broke up with a lover about a year ago." Nakai confessed.

"Did anyone teach him to break a blood bond?"

"I don't know" Nakai asked. "He told me if he concentrates, it's gone."

The doctor sighed. "Young vampires. You think you know everything, when you know nothing."

"What do you mean?" Nakai asked.

"You can't just deny a blood bond by thinking about it." She explained. "I can feel Kimura-san's pain from trying to repress the bond.'

"Do you mean the bonds still there?"

"Not only is it still there, but repressing the bond is making him deny part of his own soul." The doctor continued. "If this continues his mental illness will be incurable."

"He's mentally ill?"

"Very much so." She told him. "That is why he wants to continue working though he's hurt. He wants to deny the pain."

"What can he do to get cured?"

"He can go to a professional and get the bond broken." She paused. "Or Kimura-san could get back with whom ever he broke up with."

"He told me he has an emptiness that won't go away. Is that his broken bond?'

"What he's felt his denying his own soul."

"What about happen if he got back with his bonded?"

"Then his mental illness would leave him." She paused. "If he did go back to his former bonds mate, what will happen to you?"

"My relationship with Kimura will be over." Nakai said softly.

***********************

The photographers were there when Kimura returned. They brushed past them, trying to ignore them. But he knew that his injuries would be in the morning papers.

In his absence, it was decided that the Bistro would be refilmed. Shingo would take his place cooking, and he would act as host. Nakai helped him on with the costume.

"You should do what Dr. Lian suggested." Nakai said. "She wanted you to take a week off."

"I can't do that." Kimura told him.

"Why can't you?"

"We have to film smapxsmap. We're behind all ready."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" He countered. "I am a member of SMAP. This episode will go out in three days. I can't let the fans down."

"We have other things taped." Nakai reminded him.

"We don't have this week’s bistro taped." Kimura tried to smile. "Really, Hiro-chan, I'm fine."

"Of course,"

"I overheard what Dr. Lian told you." Kimura confessed. "I'm not mentally ill."

"Of course you not." Nakai was obviously humoring him.

*******************