Fly Away
By
Sentaikat aka Kyoko Godaikun
Authors email: Kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com
Archiving: Do not archive without express permission from the author.
Note:
This is just a little thing I wrote when I heard the news about Jin. I know he
isn't really sick. I do hope he comes back soon! This story is very sad.
Time:
October 2006
Something
had been bothering Akanishi Jin. Kamenashi Kazuya knew it. Everyone in the group knew it.
Still, everyone had given Jin his space. Perhaps that would let him get
everything worked out. He had told everyone during the 24 hour TV that he
wanted to leave the group. But KAT-TUN had thought it was because Jin was exhausted.
He had dropped the subject after the 24 hour TV. So Kame believed that Jin had
changed his mind.
Still,
nothing worked. It seemed as if Jin had a great weight on his shoulders. Jin
had suddenly become very self-centered. He would disappear during KAT-TUN's
tapings. Always refusing to tell anyone where he had gone. He no longer seemed
to have any emotions.
Jin had
even begun to pull away from Kame. They had become lovers that spring. They
spent all their off time together. Then suddenly, on a clear September night,
Jin broke up with Kame. Telling him that they couldn't be together. Jin had
insisted that it was better that way. That it was him, not Kame that was the
problem. Kame had heard that excuse before in the past. He had no choice but
let Jin go.
Then the
news came. Jin would be taking a break
from the group. At first the time had been given as three months, but that had
soon changed to six months. Six months away from the group. Jin said used to
say that the group meant everything to him. Now suddenly he wanted to quit.
Kame had not heard the news from his former lover. Instead, a staff member had
informed Kame of the hiatus. Kame had been told that Jin was leaving for
America, without even telling his former group members goodbye.
Kame was
angry at Jin's self-centeredness. Breaking up with him was one thing.
Potentially destroying the group was another.
Kame went
to Jin's apartment. He used his key to get in. In the living room, the furniture
had been covered in plastic. Almost everything that belonged to Jin had all
ready been removed.
He found
Jin in his bedroom packing his few remaining items. Jin was looking at a photo,
his fingers tracing it. Tears fell down his cheeks. Kame was able to get a peek
at the photo. It was of the two of them that had been taken during the 24 hour TV.
"Why
are you leaving us?" Kame finally asked.
"Didn't
the agency tell you the reason? I'm going to study abroad." Jin put the
photo up and wiped his face.
"I
thought you changed your mind."
"Why
are you here?" Jin demanded. "The agency told me that the rest of you
would stay away."
"Did
you really think I would?" Kame tried holding his anger in. "Even
though you broke up with me. I thought we were still friends."
"I
want to be alone." Jin didn't' look
at him.
"Why
couldn't you tell us in person? Why did we have to hear it from my PM?"
Kame demanded. "Why leave so suddenly?"
"It
wasn't sudden." he said coldly. "I knew I would have to leave since
right before the 24 hour TV. I even told everyone I was leaving. So I don't
know why you are surprised."
"Your
reason makes no sense." Kame went to Jin. "You didn't graduate from
high school! How can you just go off to study abroad?"
"I
want to learn English." Jin insisted.
"What
about the group?"
"What
about it?" He countered. "They don't need me. They have you."
"When
are you leaving?"
"Later
today,"
"You
didn't bother to tell us?" He asked unbelieving.
"What
does it matter? I've left KAT-TUN." He said harshly.
Kame was
mad, really mad. Jin didn't seem to care about anyone else but himself. Kame
picked up Jin's overnight case. He threw the open bag against the bedroom wall.
It hit with a very loud crash. The contents spilled out onto the floor. Out tumbled bottle after bottle of prescription
medication.
"What
is all of this?" Kame demanded. "Why do you have so many pills?"
"That's
none of your business!" He snapped.
Kame
scooped them up, he went towards the bathroom. "I'm going to flush these
down the toilet!"
Jin's
uncaring facade crumbled. "Please Kazuya-Chan don't. I need my
medication."
"What's
wrong with you?" Kame stopped.
"I'm
not supposed to tell anyone." Jin said. "If word gets out..."
"I'm
not just anyone!" Kame paused, trying to calm down. He tossed the bottles
on the bed. "Until recently I meant something to you."
"You
still do. I never stopped loving you." Jin picked up the case and began to
put the bottles back in. "But for the good of the group, I have to
go."
"You're
sick," Kame realized. "Why can't you get treatment for your illness
in Japan?"
"Yes,
I am." He admitted. "The agency decided they would get me the best
treatment for my illness. That means I must go to America."
"That's
why they agency changed how long you would be gone." Kame realized.
"First they said three months, and then they changed it to six
months."
"I
was at first just going to have an operation, but now there's a good chance I
might have to get chemo." The walls
fell, and suddenly Jin was trembling. "How could I perform with the side
effects of my treatment? Can you see me on stage with my hair falling
out?"
Chemo,
the work hit Kame like a hammer. Chemo was only given for one type of illness.
Jin was seriously ill. Jin was trying to
the best of his ability to put the best interests of Kame and the group ahead
of his own.
"So
that's why you broke up with me?" Kame realized.
"I couldn't put you through all of this.
I want you to have a normal life. Perhaps when I'm gone to America, you'll be
able to find someone else." A tear fell down Jin's cheek. "I thought
if you thought I left for my own selfishness, that you would hate me enough to
move on."
"What's
the chance of you surviving all of this?"
"With
the treatments? 50/50." Jin turned back to his packing. "If I wasn't
ill, I would stay with the group. I wouldn't leave."
"What
about us?"
"If
I was well, we would still be together." he reached up and wiped his face off.
"I would have woken every day to the smiles of my Kazuya." Then
suddenly, Jin collapsed to the floor. His whole body began to shake with sobs.
"I don't want to live without you. I don't want to die!"
Kame
didn't even think twice. He got onto the floor with Jin. He pulled his friend
into his arms. "Jin-can, you'll always have me."
Kame
realized that Jin needed him more now then ever. He very gently kissed Jin's
lips.
Jin
pulled away from him. "We can't, I might not come back."
"You
will." Kame promised. "I have faith that you'll come back to
me."
"Kazuya..."
"I
love you," Kame kissed Jin again, and this time his friend sighed and gave
into the kiss.
********************
They were
back together. It made Jin feel good that Kame would be in his life, even if
they where in different countries. If the end came, Kame promised he would be there
for Jin. To prove his point, he had purchased over the phone an open ended
ticket to the place in America that the hospital was at. He could leave at a
moments notice.
Jin's
mother arrived to take him to the airport four hours after Jin had gotten back
together with his lover. Kame insisted on going to the airport with Jin. It had
comforted Jin in a way. They had held hands on the way to the airport. Jin's mother had told Kame that she was
pleased he was back with her son.
Jin's
mother was going with him to America, but she intentionally walked several
meters ahead of the couple. The air line Jin was taking was quite a walk from
the entrance. A very long walk. It didn't matter to Jin. This might be his last
time with Kame. He always walked quickly through airports, but this time he
walked painfully slow. He felt something touch his hand.
"Kazuya..."
Jin began.
"You're
my boy friend. I don't care if the world knows." Kame took Jin's hand
firmly.
Jin
decided to give in. He needed Kame's touch. He realized he shouldn't have tried
to hide his illness from Kame. His friend would have been a support to him. But
it didn't matter now. He had his friend at his side.
The trip
to the gate still seemed to be too fast. Jin's mother went to check him in.
Kame stood with him, trying to be brave.
"I
have to go." Jin finally told him.
"I
know." Kame said softly.
"I
don't want to go." he confessed.
I know,
but you'll come back." Kame promised. "I'll be here waiting when you
do."
Jin couldn't
believe the faith Kame had in his getting better. He looked into his friend's
eyes. "You won't do something crazy and run off with Yamap will you?"
That made
Kame smile sadly. "Course I won't,"
There was
an announcement that the gates would be closing very soon.
"You
have to go." Kame told him.
"I
love you," Jin breathed.
"I
love you too." Kame kissed Jin very gently. Then took him in his arms, they
kissed again. Their last kiss, Jin tried to put all of his feelings for Kame in
the kiss.
"It's
time for us to go." Jin's mother finally said. "You'll miss our plane
if you don't leave now."
It took
all of Jin's will to pull away from Kame. He went to the gate, then turned and
took one last look at his lover. Kame had tears running down his cheeks. Jin
gave a little wave, Kame waved back.
He felt
his mother's hand on his arm. Jin had no choice but turn and walk away.
Jin vowed
that he would fight his illness. That one day he would be back with KAT-TUN. Now
for the first time since his illness was diagnosed, he had hope. For Akanishi Jin had someone waiting for him.
The one thing that meant more then anything to him. His Kazuya.