The Park
Part three
Author: Sentaikat aka Kyoko Godaikun
Authors email: Kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com
Archiving: Do not archive without express permission from the author.
The six
weeks since his release from hospital passed slowly for Junno. It simply meant
that he had to stay at home without stepping out of his new apartment without
permission. He spent a lot of time watching TV. The group was still busy. He
couldn't keep his mind off of Ueda. They had been together only twice. Junno
wondered if his lover had waited for him.
Then the news came from Hasejun, that Ueda had a new lover, and was
living with him. Junno's heart broke that day.
He hadn't
seen Ueda in person the entire time. Management had kept them apart. Junno
still didn't understand why he couldn't see his group. Why it had suddenly
became forbidden to see them. Had management decided to replace him? He was
worried about it.
There where only two juniors he saw regularly,
his roommate Hasejun, and Hasajun’s new lover Kaza. Junno had been allowed to move out of the
dorms and into an apartment. It was very cramped, but he had always hated
living in the doors.
Hasejun
came in from a taping. His new PA put his things in his bedroom and left. That
was something also new, the fact that the assistants seemed to leave Junno
alone. Almost as if he was a non-person.
"How
was work?" Junno asked.
"Glad
it's over." Hasejun smiled.
"Did
you see him?"
"See
who?" Hasejun sat down on the easy chair.
"How
is Ueda?"
"He
looks good."
"Did
he give you any messages for me?"
"No nothing, sorry." Hasejun picked up the remote and
began to change the channels on the TV. "Now that he has someone else, you
can't really expect him to write all the time."
"You're
right." Junno tried to hide his disappointment. It had been ten days since
the last note by Ueda. Hasejun had been on several shows with Ueda. Junno had
been getting at least one not every time Ueda and Hasejun had worked together.
Since they were working on a drama together, that had been often. But the notes
had stopped the day Ueda had moved in with his new lover.
*He's
moved on,* Junno realized. *I'm a whore, I should be used to this.*
*Why does
it hurt?*
Junno
picked a stack of fan letters up. Most of them where get well cards. The agency
had invented a story about Junno being injured. According to them he had knee
surgery.
He opened
up one letter; it was from a teenaged girl, saying she couldn’t wait to see Kat
Tun whole again. She had glued a photo from Wink Up on the page; it was of the
six members Kat Tun. He reached out, touching the image of Ueda.
*Perhaps
it would have been different if I hadn't been hurt.* Junno told himself. A tear rolled down his cheek and landed on
the photo.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Hasejun
had set everything up. He thought of himself as almost a Santa Claus. He had
found happiness since he had been freed. He just wanted his roommate to have
the same happiness. He thought himself
responsible for Junno becoming a prostitute, so in a way, this would pay him
back.
He found
Junno in the living room, moping. He was watching TV. Hasejun noticed that he
was watching the weekly Kat Tun tape, which the agency supplied to him. It
contained all of the group’s appearances for the past week. Junno watched a cm
with Ueda, and then he paused and rewound it. Over and over he watched the cm.
As he did, he listened to Tacky and Tsubusa's single "True Hearts’.
If only
he could tell Junno the truth. Even so, he knew that in an about two hours,
Ueda would arrive, and Junno would smile again.
"Are
you sure Jin didn't give you anything to give me?" Junno asked sadly.
"Sorry,"
Hasejun lied. He couldn't tell his roommate the truth, that Ueda had given
Hasejun many letters. It would have spoiled the surprise, since Ueda wrote
about the surprise in the letters. He knew that Junno would forgive him once he
had gotten his surprise. He tried not to think of what Ueda would do. He knew
that Ueda would be furious when he found out that Hasejun had made up another
lover for Ueda.
"He's
probably moved on," he paused. "Do you know if he has a new
boyfriend?"
"I
all ready told you, he's living with someone." Hasejun said truthfully,
not telling him Ueda only had a roommate, not a lover.
"Thanks,"
Junno turned off the TV. He looked like he was going to cry, again. Junno had
cried a lot in the ten days Hasejun had stopped delivering the notes.
"I
know what you need." Hasejun decided.
"I
need Tatsuya," he moaned.
"Darling,
you've got to get over him."
"I
know, but I can't stop loving him."
"You
need a make over." Hasejun smiled. "If you look good, you'll feel
good."
"Why
should I dress up? I'm not going anywhere." Junno said glumly.
"We
could go out as girls." Hasejun suggested. "I know this great
place..."
"You're
not suggesting we go to the park."
"You
have got to be kidding, we’re free," Hasejun reminded him. "I though
we could go out to eat."
"What
would Kazapon say if he knew we where going out?"
"He
doesn't care! Come on, let’s get you ready." He took Junno's hand and
guided the unwilling friend into the bedroom.
********************************
Thirty
minutes later, Junno sat in Hasajun’s room, wearing his favorite red bra and
panties under a silk robe. Hasejun was
going through his closet, desperately trying to find something that would make
someone as down as Junno look good. "Now where is it?"
"I'm
not sure I should dress up." Junno sighed. 'What if we get caught?"
"No
one will catch us." Hasejun pulled out Junno's favorite black dress.
"Here you are, hiding from me."
"That's
my dress." He gasped. "You
expect me to borrow something you stole from me?"
"You
gave it to me as a gift!"
"No,
I said you could wear it one time to the park, and you never gave it
back." Junno snatched the dress from Hasejun. He took off his robe and put
it on. "See, I look much better in it then you do."
"I
look like Audrey Hepburn it."
"You
do not!"
"Kazachan
says I do." Hasejun smiled at his
friend. "Please let me have it back when you're done with it."
"I'll
think about it."
"If
you don't, I'll tell Tat-Chan you've got a thing for his tits." he threatened.
"Tatsuya
already knows about that." Junno smiled, as if remembering a pleasant
memory.
The timer
on Junno's hot rollers beeped. That was something else Hasejun had borrowed,
Hasejun smiled. "All ready to do your hair."
"Why
did you have to steal my hot rollers? You have short hair.""
"Kazachan
loves to use them."
"I
want those back too." Junno moved towards the curlers. "I guess I better
curl my hair."
"You
will not" Hasejun shoved Junno back into his seat. . "I'm making you
feel special, so I do your hair."
"All
right," Junno agreed with some trepidation.
Hasejun
rolled Junno's hair in curlers. Hasejun always adored making over Junno. He was
much prettier then Hasejun.
Then Hasejun decided he better dress up too.
He picked out his favorite dress, put it on, and then did his make up. While he
did, Junno moped again.
"I
wish I could be dressing up for Tatsuya," Junno sighed.
"You'll
never do that again. He has a new boyfriend.” Hasejun began to go through his
make up case. "You need to look like a knock out."
"We're
just going out to eat." Junno reminded him.
"So?
Why can't you look beautiful when you’re eating?" Hasejun picked out some
make up. He began to put foundation on Junno's face. "Just close your eyes
and pretend you're going out with Ueda."
Junno
didn't' say anything. Just sat there while Hasejun did his face.
A few
minutes later, He took out Junno's hot rollers and brushed Junno's hair. Then
Hasejun took a good look at him. "Eyeliner! I forgot to line your
eyes."
"It’s
okay,"
"You
can't go without eye liner."
"All
right," Junno closed his eyes, and let his friend apply liner to his eyes.
The
doorbell rang. Hasejun ran to answer it. Junno closely followed. It was Kaza.
"Oh
Jimiko, you look beautiful," Kaza smiled, he kissed Hasejun gently on the
lips. Then he looked at Junno. "WOW! You look great."
"Thank
you," Junno still looked depressed.
"Why
don't you go out with us tonight? he suggested.
Hasejun
elbowed his boyfriend. "You're mine!"
"Can't
I appreciate someone lovely?"
"No!
You can't!" Hasejun couldn't hide his jealousy.
"Ready
to go out?" then he leaned over, and whispered in Hasajun’s' ear.
"He'll be here within thirty minutes."
"Let
me get my purse," Hasejun grabbed his purse off the end table.
"I
thought we where going out," Junno said.
"I
forgot all about my date with Kaza-Chan," Hasejun smiled. "Perhaps
tomorrow night,"
"Yeah,
perhaps." Junno said depressed.
*********************
Ueda was nervous. It had been six weeks since
he saw Junno, six long and painful weeks. But he had news, the very best of
news. Junno had requested that he move into Junno's new apartment, and
management had granted the request.
As soon
as Ueda had gotten the news. He had thrown things into his largest gym bag.
Then he took a taxi to the new apartment. He could wait to pack. He could do
that later. He had to see Junno.
He took a
taxi to the apartment; the doorman greeted him, and gave him a resident’s keycard.
He had already gotten the key to the new apartment.
Ueda
unlocked the door to the apartment and went in. He changed into the slippers
that Junno had left out for him.
Junno
wasn't in the living room. Was he even at the apartment? He noticed the stack
of fan letters. One was open. There where tear stains on it.
He didn't
understand why Junno wanted Ueda to live with him. Why didn't Junno hate him?
He blamed himself for Junno's injury. If he had been watching Junno more
carefully, then Ishikawa wouldn't have tried to kill him. But still, day after
day, Hasejun delivered cheerful letters from Junno. Letters that made Ueda
believe that perhaps Junno had forgiven him. Then suddenly the letters stopped.
Ueda still wrote to Junno, hoping that one day Hasejun would deliver another
letter to him.
The door
to the bedroom opened, and Junno came in. He was dressed in a black dress, his
make up was exquisite. He was beautiful, very beautiful. He stared at the
intruder. "Tatsuya, what are you doing here?"
"When
I got the news, I came right over."
"What
news is that?" Junno smiled nervously.
"Hasejun
didn't tell you." Ueda set his bag on the floor. "They gave me
permission to move in today."
Hasajun’s
moving out next week." Junno told him. "He told me that he would find
me another roommate. I guess that's you."
"Where
is he going?"
"He's
moving in with Kazapon."
. I
thought my moving in was your idea." His mind began to race. Had Junno
forgiven him? Had the letters simply been a fantasy.
"No,
it wasn't."
Ueda
flinched. "Hasejun said you wanted to live with me. He arranged all of
this. If you don't want me here, I'll move back into the dorms.
"I
didn't say that! I want you to live with me, it's just...." Junno looked
away from him, his nervous smile grew wider. Why was Junno so nervous?
Ueda decided to change the subject.
"You're even more beautiful then our first time together."
"Thank
you." he smoothed down his dress.
"Do you still have the red dress?"
"You
mean the one I was wearing..."
"Yes,
during our first time." Ueda
finished his sentence. "I think that's my favorite of all your
dresses."
"Yes,
I still have it." Junno admitted.
"Perhaps
you can wear it sometime for me."
"If
you want." Junno smiled in his discomfort.
"What's
bothering you?"
"Nothing,
really." Junno was hiding something.
"I looked forwards to your notes. Why did
you stop writing me? I wrote and wrote to you, but you stopped answering
me."
"You
stopped writing me." Junno said. "It's been ten days since I've
gotten a letter from you."
"I
gave Hasejun two letters yesterday and one this morning." Ueda said
confused. "Why would he stop delivering the letters?"
"I
don't know," Junno said softly. "I thought you had moved on.”
"Why
would you think that?"
"Hasejun
told me that I needed to get over you." There where tears in Junno's eyes.
"Does your new lover know your here?"
"What
do you mean my new lover?"
"Your
roommate." Junno corrected.
"Yeah,
he knows I'm here."
"I
missed you," A tear fell down his cheek.
Ueda went
to him; he reached out and touched the tear. "I never stopped loving
you."
Ueda
realized he would have to prove his love. He kissed Junno very gently on the
lips. He could feel his lover sigh, and then give into the kiss.
“Is
Hasejun coming back tonight?" Ueda began to nuzzle Junno's neck.
"Yeah,
he'll bring Kazapon back here."
"Where
will you be when that happens?" Ueda began to make little love bites on
Junno's neck.
"In
my bedroom." Junno said. "We do have separate bedrooms."
"So
where do I get to sleep? The couch?"
"Theirs
room on my floor." He said
seriously.
Ueda stopped what he was doing, and pulled
away from him. "I have to sleep on the floor?"
"Floors
not good enough for you?" Junno countered.
"What
about your bed? Who’s going to sleep in that?"
"I
sleep on a futon." He took Ueda's
hand. "I want to show you my room."
"All
right," he agreed.
******************
Junno
took Ueda to his room. The room was very
small, only half the size of their dorm room. It was more like a walk in
closet.
He
watched as Ueda scrutinized the room. His eyes settled on Junno's photos.
Hasejun had put them up while Junno was in the hospital. They comforted
Junno. Junno's favorite part of Ueda's
body showing in shirtless photos. But Ueda had someone else, and Junno realized
that his love for him was only a fantasy.
Ueda
didn't say anything as he looked at the photos.
Junno began to feel very embarrassed.
He realized he needed to make an excuse. "I suppose I look like a
teenage girl with a crush on her idol."
"What
do you mean?"
"My
picture collection. It was a present from Hasejun" He couldn't help but
smile embarrassed. ."Sometimes just
looking at your photo made me feel less homesick for you."
"I
kept a note book with your pictures." Ueda admitted. "I carry it in
my bag. When I miss you, I look at them."
Junno
realized that he had to do something to keep them from being so uncomfortable,
but what?
'Do the
rest of the guys know I'm coming back?" Junno asked.
"Yes,
you're formally rejoining the group in two days." Ueda said in a rush.
"We have something planned..." then he stopped.”You're not supposed
to know."
"More
surprises?" Junno smiled. '
"I
can never keep secrets from you." Ueda smiled back. "The group's
reserved a room at that onsen you love. We'll party, and they'll be no staff to
tell us we can't drink."
"I
see,"
"Will
you be my date?"
"I'd
like that." Junno’s smile grew wider.
"I
think that's what I missed most about you, you're smile." Ueda kissed
Junno again, this time very softly. Then he moved onto kissing Junno's ear.
"I missed your ear." he said, before he sucked it in his mouth and
began to nibble at it.
Junno
felt a shiver of pleasure go through him. "Who told you about my
ears?"
"Hasejun,
he told me a lot of things." Again he bit down. "All your turn ons,
all the things that make you almost come instantly. I could almost forgive him
for not giving you my letters."
Junno
suddenly wanted Ueda very much. He pulled away from Ueda, whose eyes were dark
with desire. Then he slipped the dress off. Ueda's eyes settled on Junno's
stomach. The mood seemed to shift in the room.
"Junno,
are you sure you're fit enough to love?" Ueda asked concerned.
Junno
looked down to his scar. It was still red and fresh. 'The doctor gave me some
special make up to cover my scar. I had known you were going to visit, I would
have put it on."
"I
see," Ueda looked away from him.
"This
isn't going to work is it?" Junno said almost heartbroken. "It’s my fault, I should have been happy
with just a kiss...”
"It's
not you, it's me." Ueda said softly. "I promised to protect you, and
you got hurt."
'That
isn't your fault." Junno told him. "You got hurt too."
"Yes,
it is my fault!" There was pain in Ueda's voice. "The doctor's were
too busy caring for me to take care of you." A tear rolled down his face.
"You almost bled to death in the waiting room, and it's my fault."
Ueda began to sob. He collapsed onto the
floor. "How can you love me after all this? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
Junno got
onto the floor with him. He then embraced Ueda, holding him close.
When Ueda
was finished crying, he bent down, kissing Junno's scar. His lips lingered over
it, tears dripped onto it. It felt strangely erotic to Junno.
"I
want to see your scars." Junno told him.
Ueda
pulled away from him and took off his shirt. His scars were also still red and
fresh. One was on his right side, just below his rib cage. The other was on his
lower back. Junno bent down and kissed the scar on Ueda's side. He felt Ueda
shiver under his lips.
"My
scars, their reminder of my failure." he said softly. "Please, don't
kiss them. I don't deserve your love."
"Their
sign of your being a hero." Junno sat up. "If you hadn't insisted on
following me to the park, I would still be selling myself. You not only saved
me, you saved all of Ishikawa's' stable."
"I'm
not a hero; I'm simply someone who did what they had to do."
"That
makes you a hero in my book." Junno kissed Ueda's lips softly. He felt his
lover sigh, and then give into the kiss.
Then Ueda
pulled away from him. "What does the room look like with the futon
down?"
"Would
you like me to show you?"
"Please,"
Junno
went to the closet, he took the futon out. Jin went to his side, helping him
get them out. They went about working on the futon, neither of them worrying
about what would happen once it was down.
"You're right Junno; it is big enough for
two." Ueda said almost shyly.
Junno
knew that Ueda had found someone else, but Junno needed Ueda. He kissed him
again, and then whispered. "There will always be room in my futon for
you."
**********************
Afterwards,
Junno held Ueda. His mind was racing. He had helped Ueda cheat on his new
lover. Not only that, but he liked it.
"I
don't want to let you go." Junno confessed. "I'm afraid I'll loose
you again."
"I'm
not going anywhere." he promised
"Are
you going to move your new roommate in?'
"My
new roommate?" he said in shock. "Who told you about him?"
"Hasejun,
he said you where very happy."
"I
wouldn't call it happy."
"Who
is your new roommate?" Junno persisted.
"Why
are you worried about my roommate?"
"I
just want to know."
"It's
Koki."
"He can’t'
live here," Junno suddenly let go of him. Koki was a friend of his, as
much as he loved Ueda, he couldn't hurt his friend.
"I
won't let him step foot in our apartment." He vowed. He kissed Junno
gently.
"Can
you sleep with me tonight?" Junno asked almost plaintively.
"Where
else would I stay?" he took Junno into his arms, pulling his head onto his
shoulder. Junno let himself fall to sleep. Knowing that this would be the only
time he would fall asleep in Ueda's arms.
*******************************
The next
morning, Junno woke to the sound of Ueda snoring softly in his ear. He decided
that he had to find the letters that Ueda had sent him. Perhaps in those
letters, Ueda had told him goodbye, and had explained about his new love
Koki. He started looking around Hasajun’s
room. In a drawer under the bed were two bundles of letters fastened with
rubber bands. He could read Ueda's handwriting on one. "To Taguchi
Junnosuke."
Junno
decided that he had to read the letters. He got his reading glasses off of his
dresser and put them on. He turned the bedside light on, and then sat back down
beside his sleeping lover. He opened the first letter.
"We
filmed Shonnen Club tonight. It seemed strange that your not here. Even the
audience knows it's strange. I saw Uchawas with your photo on it. It broke my
heart when the producers came on stage and asked for them to be put up. It's
like you’re a non person. You're a member of Kat Tun, without you we sounded
terrible again.
After the
filming Hasejun tells me wonderful news. News I still can't believe. He told me
that you've asked management that I be your roommate. I wish I could see you
right now, to hold you. To say yes, I'll move in with you. But my letter will
have to be enough for now."
Junno
read letter after letter of Uedas. Every one more and more depressed, with
pleads for Junno to write back, just once. It broke Junno's heart reading them.
None of them mentioned his other lover. It made Junno realize that perhaps
there wasn't another lover.
Then he
realized that Ueda was watching him. "What are you doing?"
"I
found Hasajun’s secret stash of our letters." He picked up a stack and
handed it to Ueda. "Here are the ones you never got."
Ueda sat up;
he took the rubber band off. Then he opened the first one. He smiled as he read
it. "Why where you always so happy in your letters?"
"I
wanted you to feel better." Junno told him.
"You
did, every letter made me feel as if you where beside me." Ueda confessed.
"Then they stopped coming. I felt as if my world was falling apart."
"I'm
sorry Tat-Chan,"
Ueda went
back to reading. He didn't say anything as he read the letters. Then with the
last one, Ueda began to read out loud.
"Hasejun
says I should get over you. But my heart can't forget you. I know our time
together was brief. I can remember the dreams in the hospital, where you held
my hand. How can I forget you? It hurts Tatsuya to see you on TV, and know that
you've moved on. That there is someone else giving you the love we used to share.
The doctor has told me I'll be cleared for work in a few days. How can I go
back to work, and know I won't be with you? To work with you, and know you'll
be with someone else when our work is finished.
It
shouldn't hurt this much. I cannot be your friend anymore. I cannot simply
pretend that nothing has changed with us. I think the thing that hurts the most
if that I believed you would wait for me, and you didn't. When the publicity
for my return dies down, I'm going to quit Kat Tun I listen to Tacky and
Tsubusa's song "True Hearts" And I wonder, why did you stop loving me
Tatsuya?"
"Did
Hasejun tell you I found someone else?" Ueda looked at Junno, tears were
in his eyes.
"He
told me you moved on," Junno took off his reading glasses and put them on
the bedside table. "That I should work on getting over you."
"Junno..."
"When
we were together today, I helped you cheat on Koki." He felt his own tears
fall. "But I had to have you just one last time.”
"You're
the only one in my heart." again, Ueda wiped his face.
"Don’t'
tell Koki about us. You can't hurt him."
Junno looked away from Ueda; the tears he had kept in began to fall. He
felt Ueda take him into his arms.
"Koki's
not my lover! Please, Junno, trust me." Ueda whispered over and over.
"Hasejun lied to you I never stopped loving you."
"But
you live with him." Junno insisted.
"We're
just roommates."
Just
then, Junno heard noises coming from the living room. He pulled away from Ueda.
"Tatsuya, there's someone here."
"Stay
there, I'll be right back." Ueda grabbed a robe and left the room.
Junno
grabbed his own robe and followed Ueda into the living room. Hasejun and Kaza
stood in the living room.
"We're
back!" Hasejun said. "I decided to spend the night at Kazapon's
apartment!"
Ueda went
to Hasejun and punched him hard in the mouth. Hasejun fell to the ground.
"What
is going on?" Kaza demanded. "I thought you where Jun's
friend!!"
"That's
before I found out the truth!" Ueda screamed. He punched Hasejun again.
"Junno's your friend! How could you break his heart?"
"It
was a little lie." Hasejun said softly.
"I
read his last letter!" Ueda grabbed Hasajun’s shirt and began to pound him
over and over again.
Kaza
tackled Ueda, pinning him to the ground. "What ever the hell Jun Chan did,
doesn't mean you should beat him!"
"I
WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" Ueda shouted. "Never do you understand me?
You broke the heart of my first love with your lies!"
"Yes,
I understand." Hasejun said meekly.
"Tell
him the truth!" Ueda said. "Tell Junno the truth."
"What
truth is that?"
Ueda
lunged for Hasejun getting away from Kaza. He grabbed him by the shirt and
shook him. "How could you do it to him?"
"Junno,
why is Ueda so angry?" Kaza asked. "What on earth did Jun tell
you?"
"For
ten days, Hasejun told me that Tatsuya had found another lover." Tears
stung his eyes. "When we made love, I thought I was helping Tatsuya cheat
on a new lover. Then I found my beloved's letters."
"Did
you really do that?" Kaza demanded.
"I'm
sorry," Hasejun began to cry.
"Sorry?
You think that your lies can be taken away by sorry?" Ueda demanded.
"Junno has doubts about me now. How can I ever convince him that my other
lover is simply your lies?" He let go of Hasejun and walked to the other
side of the room. "You know how it's like to love Junno. How gentle His
soul is. How could you hurt that soul?"
"Junno,
Ueda had no other lovers." Hasejun confessed. "I am jealous of his unconditional
love for you. So I lied to you."
"I
can't forgive you." Ueda told him.
"I thought you where my friend, but you are nothing to me."
"Junno?"
Hasejun asked.
"I
need some time." Junno said.
"I
understand." Hasejun went into his bedroom followed by Kaza.
***********************
Ueda
stood in the corner of the living room, trying to calm down. He had lost
everything by hitting Hasejun. He wasn't usually a violent person, but Junno
being hurt was an exception.
"I'm
sorry I doubted you," Junno said from behind him. "I know you'll
never forgive me for not trusting you."
When Ueda
didn't answer him, Junno turned and went to his bedroom.
Ueda went
to his bag and took the small album out. He opened it to the first page. It was
a photo of Junno and Ueda. Junno had his arm around Ueda, and he leaned against
Junno. Kame had taken the photo of what
he teasingly called 'the lovebirds." It was Ueda's favorite photo of them
together.
He could
hear through the thin walls Hasajun’s crying, and Kaza trying to comfort him.
He realized he did owe Hasejun some gratitude. He had been the one that had
arranged for them to live together. But he still didn't understand the lying.
As Ueda
calmed down, he realized he needed to go to Junno. He found his friend taking photos
off of his bedroom wall, and placing them in a small box. He was crying as he
did it.
"What
are you doing?" Ueda finally asked.
"In
a few days the assistants will be back," Junno explained. "I can't
keep photos of you on my wall."
"What
are you going to do with them?"
Junno
took the last one off, and then closed the box. He put them in the closet.
"What does it matter what I do with them? I no longer have need for
them."
"Are
you still going to quit the group?"
"I
don't know," he admitted. He wiped the tears from his face.
"I'm
not having an affair with Koki." Ueda told him. "He gets on my
nerves. Besides, he's with Nakamaru."
"Koki
and Nakamaru?" Junno repeated. "How long have they been
together?"
"Koki
told me that they've been together since almost the formation of the
group." He noticed the framed photo on the desk, he picked it up. It was
the same photo that Ueda had in his album.
"Do you remember the day we took this picture?" He set the
photo back down. "That was the day that I realized that I wanted to spend
my life with you."
"Then
I took it all away by not trusting you."
"
"There's
been no one else." Ueda came closer to him. "You're the only
one."
"When
you held me in my arms, I thought it would be the last time." The tears
began to fall again. "I should have told you no, but I couldn't stop. I
love you, I love you so much. I would have regretted my whole life if we hadn't
had that one last time."
"No
wonder you acted so strange," He said softly. "You thought I had
another. But still, even then you couldn’t' stop loving me."
"I
was even willing to share you. I couldn't believe that you no longer loved
me." Junno wiped his eyes. "What if I quit Kat Tun?"
"That
wouldn't stop my love for you."
"When
I started in the juniors, I really thought I would be a star. At first, I felt
as if I really was one. On Hakada I even sang lead at the end song." Junno
said softly. "But then all this happened and I realized, even if I stay in
Kat Tun, I'll just be a back dancer for Kame and Jin."
"I
saved to go to America, that money could give us a fresh start." Ueda
tempted. "We could go anywhere you want."
"You'll just walk away from Kat
Tun?"
"If
it means I can spend my life with you, then yes. I will walk away."
"Do
you really love me that much?>"
"Yes,
I do."
Junno
broke eye contact with Ueda. "I want to be an entertainer. Perhaps I won't
be a star. But when we appear live, and I see the fans with my name on it. I
work harder. For them I am a star, and that's enough for me."
"That's
the reason I stay in the group." Ueda confessed. "Even if one person
in the audience is there to see me that am enough."
"What
if it's just one back dancer?" Junno looked at him. "What if that
back dancer is so much in love with you, that you're his star?"
Ueda
realized he was asking about their relationship. "Then I would be the
luckiest one there. Because that back dance is my star."
Junno smiled
the first real smile Ueda had seen since he had arrived at the apartment. A
smile that lit his entire face. "Can you forgive me for not trusting
you?"
"I
can forgive anything my star does." Ueda couldn't help but smile back.
"Welcome
home." Junno kissed Ueda.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
After
words, Junno held Ueda. He could feel his lover’s lips lightly caressing his
forehead. His nipples were sore from Junno's attentions, but he didn't care. It
felt so good to have Junno love him again.
He could
hear Junno's' stomach growl. It reminded Ueda that he too hadn't ate for a
while.
"Are
you hungry?" Ueda asked him.
"It
doesn't matter." Junno denied.
"Why
don't I fix us something to eat?" Ueda suggested.
"That
sounds good."
Ueda got
up, he picked up the cast off robe that was on the floor and put it on. He went
into the living room/kitchen. He checked the rice cooker; there was all ready
cooked rice in it.
Then he
checked the refrigerator. There were vegetables in a bin. He started pulling
them out and putting them on the counter. There was enough for a good stir fry.
He
realized that Junno was watching him. Junno smiled. "Can I help?"
"Sure,"
Ueda couldn't help but smile back.
"You
don't like eggs." Junno joined him at the refrigerator.
"Their
not my favorite."
He felt
Junno's hand on him, running across his back. "Did I ever tell you how
sexy you look in my robe?"
"No,
you didn't."
Junno
closed the refrigerator door, and then he put a hand on Ueda's shoulder,
turning him. Then he kissed Ueda. Ueda put his arms around him, kissing back.
Then Junno pushed him against the refrigerator.
"Why
can't I stop wanting you?" Junno said between kisses.
"I
don't know," Ueda unfastened Junno's robe. His lover was excited again.
"I
want inside you," Junno murmured as he unfastened Ueda's robe.
"Where?"
Junno
gave a smile; he took Ueda by the hand and pulled him to a chair that stood
right in front of the sink. Junno sat down on the chair, and then Ueda
straddled his body, lowering himself onto Junno's hardness. Junno arched back and gasped. Ueda began to
move himself up and down. He put his arms around Junno's shoulders, letting his
hands get lost in Junno's silky hair.
Junno's arms went under the robe, holding Ueda close, helping him move.
He was hot, sweaty. He could feel the same from his lover. Ueda let his robe
fall to the ground.
Junno kissed him as he loved him, and then his
lips went to Ueda's neck. He began to suck and bite on Ueda's neck. Ueda would
have a mark, but he didn't care. His mouth began to gasp in time to every
thrust until his gasps turned into yelps then cries.
His
hardness was wedged between Junno and his body, with every thrust, it rubbed
against Junno. He was riding up a hill, one that was hard to get up. He let the
feelings overcome him. Suddenly his world exploded, and he cried out Junno's
name. He pushed himself down so that Junno was deeper inside of him. Then Junno
too cried "Tatsuya,"
They held
each other, gasping for breath. Ueda felt Junno soften and slide out of his
body. Still, he didn't want to let go, didn't want to move away from his lover.
"Tatsuya,
I didn't think looking for food would be such a turn on," Junno finally
said.
"Oh
it is?"
"You
where picking out vegetables, and suddenly I had to have you," he kissed
Ueda gently. "I love you so much."
"I
love you too."
"I
don't know what I'm going to do when we go back to work," he kidded.
"How am I going to resist pulling you into a closet?"
"We
can try out all of the closets," Ueda tempted.
There was
a long pause between them. Then Junno said softly. "I no longer feel like
a whore."
"You're
not one."
"I
know, now I'm just a man who’s madly in love with his leader." He reached
out, touching Ueda's neck. "A leader who has a very large love bites."
"When
we go to the party, everyone will know I'm yours." Ueda kissed him.
"I
think the rice should be finished." Hasejun said as he came into the living
room. "Oh, I see,"
"What
is it?' Kaza asked.
Ueda got
off of Junno, he fastened his robe. He began to straighten his hair.
Junno too
got up and fastened his own robe. He
looked into his lovers eyes. "Let me handle it this time."
Ueda
nodded. ""All right."
Junno
turned to his other roommate. "Sorry, we were just cooking some
lunch."
'Yeah,
right, cooking." Hasejun snorted. Then when Kaza glared at him he gave a
short bow. "I'm sorry we interrupted you."
"It's
all right," Junno put his arm around Ueda's shoulders. "We were
finished."
"I
made some rice." Kaza told them. "You can have some."
"Thanks,"
Ueda said.
"Junno,
Ueda, I am sorry I lied." Hasejun told them. "It really didn't start
as a lie, but turned into one. I just wanted the two of you to be able to live
together."
"What
do you mean?" Ueda asked.
"I
didn't tell Junno that I was trying to get permission for you to live here
because I was afraid he would get hurt if my request was turned down."
"I
still don't understand why the agency would allow us to live together."
Junno moved away a bit from Ueda.
Hasejun
looked very embarrassed, and then he glanced at his lover. "Do you mind if
I tell them?"
"You're
going to have to." Kaza said. "They have the right to know."
"Since
you're release from the hospital, I've been visiting Kitagawa-sama in the
evenings." Hasejun explained. "I had to sleep with him to grant his
favor. He's going to allow the two of you to live together and I move in with
Kazapon."
Junno
looked ill for a moment. "You're selling yourself again."
"It
was for a good cause." Hasejun told him. "It's my fault that you were
forced to work at the park. I've owed you a big debt for that." He turned
back to Kaza, "I can't tell him the rest."
"What
rest?" Ueda asked.
"I
will," Kaza turned to Ueda and Junno. "Jun-Chan never stopped loving
you Junno. When he found out that you had Ueda, he grew very jealous."
"I
don't understand, he has you." Junno said.
"The
way I love you is different from the way I love Kazapon." Hasejun said.
"Kazapon is my rock, my strength. Junno-Chan is the pure innocent love
that I experienced for a very brief time. My love with mixed with the guilt
that I felt for making you a prostitute. But in my heart there is still Junno-Chan."
"So
you lied because you loved me."
Hasejun
nodded. Ueda suddenly felt very sorry for Hasejun. He also felt sorry for Kaza.
"What
about you Kaza?" Ueda asked.
"I
love Jun; I hope that some day, he'll love me as much as I love him." Kaza
told him.
"I
do love you," Hasejun looked as if he was about to cry. "You're my
number one."
"I
don't want to be number one; I want to be the only one."
"We
can never be together again as lovers.” Junno told him. "But I consider
you something else. Our tie is beyond family, beyond friendship."
"I
feel the same way," Hasejun said.
"I
forgive you for lying." Junno said.
"I'm sorry I beat you," Ueda apologized.
"If I had known the truth, I would have understood."
"I
deserve to be beaten." Hasejun tried to smile.
"The
party tomorrow night, you have to be there Hasejun." Ueda said. "It
won't be the same without the two of you."
Hasejun
looked at his lover who nodded. "We'll be there."
************************
Ueda was wearing a black ukata, his love bite
fresh on his neck. They where walking
down the hallway of the onsen to the private room that had been rented. They
where being taken to the room by a woman. She seemed to be very discrete, but
Junno couldn't take any chances.
They had
spent most of their off time together in bed. Junno had a hard time keeping his
hands off of Ueda. Even as they walked, he wanted his lover again. He felt his
mind race as he realized he couldn't even hold Ueda's hand.
"Remember
this is supposed to be a surprise." Ueda reminded Junno for the hundredth
time.
"I
know that." Junno suddenly became serious. He stopped in the hallway.
"I was wondering, what do they think happened?"
"You
injured your leg when practicing a dance number." he told Junno. 'That's
the official story."
"They
know the truth, don't they?" Junno realized.
"Yes,
they do." Ueda admitted. "But it doesn't matter to them."
"They’ll
say something."
"No
they won’t." Ueda glanced at the woman taking them to the room. "The group
is your friends. They'll keep your secret."
The door
to the room opened. Jin looked very annoyed. "You're late for the
taping."
"I'm
sorry." Junno said.
"We
got stuck in traffic." Ueda said helpfully. "The agency forgot to
pick us up again."
""
Jin looked Junno over. "How's the leg?"
"I'm
no longer limping." Junno told him. "I am sorry I gave the group
trouble."
"It
couldn't be helped." He paused. "You better come in."
Junno
followed Jin into the room. The room seemed bare, except for Ueda and Jin. Then
suddenly the rest of the group, plus other Johnny’s jumped out from under
tables, yelling surprise!
"What's
going on?" Junno looked at Jin pretending confusion. "I thought we
had a taping."
"It's
your welcome back party." Kame
smiled.
"Did
we surprise you?" Hasejun asked with a smile.
"Yes,
you did!" Junno lied. "How many more surprises do you have for
me?"
"That
would be telling!" Kame told him.
Suddenly
Junno found himself surrounded by people. All welcoming him back to the group.
He looked at his lover, who motioned him to go on.
**********************
Ueda
decided to leave the party and have a soak in the spring. His body ached from
all the times that he had been with Junno. But he realized he would have to
enjoy it. Because once they started working again, their times together would
be few.
Four
other members of Kat Tun were already in the hot spring. Nakamaru and Koki sat together;
a few meters away sat Kame with his lover Jin.
"You look like you've been attacked by a
vampire." Kame teased.
"Suppose
I have."
Is
everything all right now?"
"Our
group wasn't the same without Taguchi-kun."
"What
about the two of you?" Kame gave him a knowing grin. "Since he came
back, have you talked to him much?"
"Junno
had to rest."
'Let me
guess, you helped."
"Didn't
really get a choice did I? We're roommates."
A smile
tugged at Jin's lips. "Sleep in the same room, do you?"
"Junno's
room is very small. It only contains one futon."
After a
few minutes, Junno came into the hot spring; he took off his ukata and went to
Ueda. "How's the water?"
"Better
now that your here." Ueda smiled at him.
Junno
went a few meters away from Ueda, he slid into the water. Then leaned back onto
the edge. Ueda wondered why Junno had sat so far away from him. He tried to
make eye contact, but Junno looked away. He had a nervous grin.
"Glad
your back," Maru told Junno.
"Yeah,
and glad to get Ueda out of my room." Koki snorted. "Did you know he
snores?"
"His
snoring isn’t' that bad. It's very soft." Junno said.
The rest
of the group laughed. Junno suddenly turned very red, his nervous grin turned
to one of embarrassment.
"What's
the plan for your return?" Maru asked.
"Tomorrow
I go into the dance studio to practice." Junno said. "The agency
wants to make sure I still remember the routines."
Ueda went
to where Junno was and plopped down beside him.
"Tatsuya,
we agreed, we must hide our relationship." Junno whispered.
"In
public, but this isn't public." Ueda reminded him. "We're among
friends."
"You're
right, we are." Junno put his arm around Ueda, and he found himself
leaning into his lover.
"Before
anyone asks, we're together." Junno told the group.
"We
know," Nakamaru groaned.
"You
should have heard him when you where gone," Koki told Junno. "Every
other word out of Ueda's mouth was Junnosuke."
"And
the pictures!" Nakamaru said. "He has a shrine to you all over his
wall."
"You
don't know how it's like to wake up to see pictures of you plastered
everywhere." Koki said.
"Oh
you have a shrine?" Junno looked into Ueda's eyes.
"A
little one," he admitted.
Just then
Hasejun and Kaza came into the hot spring area. They both shed their robes and
got in together.
"Hey
Hasejun, did you know that Ueda's got a shrine to Junno?" Koki teased.
"Really?
Is it as big as Junno's shrine?" Kaza grinned.
"Junno
has a shrine?"
"Yeah,
it covers one whole wall of his room." Hasejun told them.
"It
did," Junno said. "I took it down."
"Why
would you do that?" Hasejun asked.
"Don't
need it anymore. Got the real thing now." Junno grinned, this time it was
a real smile.
Junno
looked into Ueda's eyes and began to laugh. Ueda grabbed Junno and kissed him,
not caring who saw. He was happy, for he finally had his lover back in his
life.