Title: Still... (One Shot)

Author: Kyoko_godaikun

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Jin/?

Note: first person which shifts POV in the middle.

Summary: Jin returns to Japan, but he's not allowed near the one he really loves.

Part One: Missing You

You are returning home. Six months, it's been a long six months apart. We got to see each other in New York, but time had been our enemy, and I had to return home to Japan. What can you say to the man you miss more then anything? The one that's haunted your dreams? I simply tell you to hurry home fast.

I got the call, you where now on Japanese soil. Of course it wasn't you that called, it was a staff member. I had wanted to go to the airport to see you. But the agency said *that* was out of the question. No members can see you until the press conference.

The staff member made a big deal out of the fact that the agency had arranged private time between you and Kame. You the two tops, you deserved some time together.

I would have to wait. But I've gotten used to it. I always had to wait for you. It was part of loving one of the tops.

The agency doesn't know about us. If they did would it have changed anything? Would they have let me go to America with you? I know the answer to that question; they would have forced us apart.

My ketai rang. I looked, it was a text message.

"I'm back; I can't wait to see you."

I text back. "Do you think we will be able to see each other before the conference?"

"They want me to get ready for it. So we'll have to be together afterwards."

I turn off my ketai; it's how it's always been. Nothing changed in your time apart. I will have to wait. I turn on the TV, and I see you. Your hair is so long. You look like a star. You look at the camera, and then you run your hand through your hair. Our sign, you remembered it. You remembered. I feel tears falling down my face. You're home and you remembered.

I think I missed you the most at that moment.

*************

The conference was harder then I imagined. I saw you across the room, and your eyes lit up. I moved towards you, but staff kept us apart. Your hair had been cut by then. My fantasies of running my fingers through it were gone.

"You can talk later," The staff chided me.

"Yes, of course." I looked at you with regret.

I wonder if you really want to talk to me. So much time has passed. Six months, they wouldn't let me visit you. I wanted to, but they gave me so much work I didn't have the time. Have you forgotten our love?

Kame looked at you, then at me. I can almost see the wheels working in his mind. He has a plan. I can always tell when he gets a plan. He's talking with the other group members, whispering.

A few minutes later we have to take an elevator to the floor the press conference is on. The staff stays with us. But you are standing next to me in the elevator.

You take my hand in yours, and squeeze it hard. I'm afraid to look at you. But I realize you are wearing the ring I gave you the day you left for America.

The ride ends quickly and we are separated again.

"Don't worry," Kame tells me. "He misses you too."

Part Two: Through Jin’s Eyes

A day passes, an endless day. We have two concerts. You are shuttled off after each one. You look at me, your eyes so sad after each one. If we don't get back together soon, I'm afraid I'll loose you. Have I lost you all ready?

Kame has a plan, he tells me. He will make it right, for us.

This is punishment, for my leaving you. Kame told me you waited. Your messages though seemed so depressed. Kame told me how busy you really are. You are finally in a drama and your own variety. I've been so proud of you. So very proud, my lover has become a star.

If I hadn't left, the drama would have been mine. The variety too would have been mine. I am glad you took them. You are so much better at them then anyone ever could think. But you are the quiet one. When I was gone, finally people noticed the one that should really be the star of the group.

I've watched you in America, on the computer. Using a thing called youtube. It's the only way I can keep track of you.

You are so close, but so very far from me. I give you our signal many times. I want you to know that I do want to be with you. That I haven't forgotten.

It's so late, our third concert is over. I did better this time. I didn't forget the lines. You smiled at me. But I've only been able to touch you once, in an elevator. Your hands trembled so much. You wouldn't even look at me.

We are staying at a hotel this time. Kame traded rooms with you. All I have to do is knock at the door that separates our room. Then we can be together. It's been so long. Do you still remember the way we loved? I've been terrified there is someone else.

I stand there for a moment, just watching the door. Listening to see if anyone is in there with you. But you are alone.

Finally I knock on the door.

"Just a moment," You call.

You come to the door, you are wearing a robe. "Jin."

That's all I let you say. I sweep you up in the biggest hug I can give you. You are so thin against me. You've lost weight when I've been gone. No one's been there to remind you to eat.

"I thought you forgot me." You say as you cling to me.

"How can I ever forget you?" I ask, and then I kiss you. You sigh, your arms go around me and you kiss me back. Passionate, eager, hungry kisses.

We crash against the door. You break from me. "What if staff hears?"

"I don't care." I tell you, and I don't. Then we are kissing again.

I want to take it slowly, but we've missed each other too much. You are pulling me to the bed, pulling my clothes off as we go. You have lube in your pocket. You spread it on me. Then I slide into you. You are so tight, so warm. Home, I realize I'm now at home. Inside of you.

You say my name over and over as we make love. Your nails scrape at my back, my arms. Pushing hard against me.

You are the first that cum, arching up, so that I'll be even more in you. You spasmed around me, your channel forcing me over the edge.

We hold each other afterwards. I don't ever want to let you go.

"I better go to my own bed," You tell me.

"Stay, please."

"The agency will find out." You are afraid.

"I talked to them, as a part of my return; I'm allowed to love who ever I want." I tell you. "That includes my precious Yu."

You look at me. My wonderful, precious Yu. "I love you,"

"I love you too Yuichi." I kiss you, and then we are loving again.

I will make it up to you this time. I'll never leave you again. I promise. The thing I've missed most about Japan. My lover, my home, my world.