I have obtained over the years some articles about, and interviews with, First Call. Clicking on the title will take you to the article below. Clicking on the title of the magazine will take you to their website. Let me know what you think!
"First Call: Singing a Human Song" from CCM Magazine March 1992 |
"Good Call" (Review of Human Song) from CCM Magazine March 1992 |
"God and the Music Biz" from Newsweek May 30, 1994 |
"All I Want for Christmas are These Three Thrilling Albums!" (Review of Beyond December) from Release September 1995 |
"Under the Tree" (Review of Beyond December) from CCM Magazine December 1995 |
"First Call's Second Chance" from Release July/August 1996 |
"First Things First" (Review of First Call) from New Man July/August 1996 |
"Survivor's Story" (An interview with Bonnie.) from Today's Christian Woman November/December 2000 |
by Brian Q. Newcomb
"The central business of every human being is to be a real person." --Theologian and pastor Harry Emerson Fosdick, from his book On Being a Real Person.
Okay, let's start by forgetting everything we thought we knew about First Call. Well, that's where I had to start anyway. At the outset, I had to admit that unlike thousands and thousands of fans of inspirational Christian music, little of what I had heard from the trio had touched any chord that resonated with my experience. Sure these Nashville cats could sing; some jazzy Manhattan Transfer-sounding tracks caught my attention. But I was also attentive to the fact that the bulk of the group's success had come through affiliations with Sandi Patti and radio play on inspirational stations. The day God is Good arrived I was probably busy guessing who was in the Swirling Eddies, and the cassette ended up in a package to my mother. She loves that kind of stuff. Of course all that was before Human Song.
Afraid my ignorance would show, I confessed all this immediately upon arriving for my interview with First Call's Marty McCall. He was remarkably sympathetic. "If I were listening to First Call, my absolute first response would have been 'If they do this kind of music [inspirational], I don't like them anyway, so their pop music must not be that authentic.' And another assumption would be that all the members agree on what is being done. That they all come from the same culture, and that's where Bonnie and I had the hardest time. I willingly stood up behind Sandi Patti and sang inspirational and choral backgrounds, after having toured with Fireworks for seven years. I can do it, but a lot of that was motivated by wanting to provide for my family."
Marty McCall had indeed fronted one of early Christian rock's more significant band efforts. After a coast-to-coast farewell tour in '83 (opening for Servant), McCall put Fireworks to rest, and began pursuing life as a session singer around Nashville, where he came into contact with Bonnie Keen and Melodie Tunney. Doing background vocals for albums by Patti, Carman, Larnelle Harris and Wayne Watson; and singing on commercials for Pepsi, McDonalds and the like, the three began to see the value of marketing themselves as a ready-made vocal trio. One thing led to another and before they even realized what was taking shape, First Call had become one of the most successful singing groups in contemporary Christian and inspirational circles.
After two albums and a tour, McCall and Keen felt a need to move in fresh directions. Keen says, "The opportunity of singing with Sandi was really incredible, because it gave us a very trusted place to come into the market. You go on stage with Sandi for a year and a half and people just trust you. But, as wonderful as that was, people didn't really get to know who we really were. And who we were on stage with Sandi is not representative of who we were as people. We were there to support her, but we got very locked into people thinking that that was who we were, a middle-of-the-road, church-oriented group.
"Marty and I had come out of experiences in theater and pop bands, and really are more entertainers than anything else. I grew up with no awareness of the Christian music thing -- until I went on the road with Amy [Grant] and Russ [Taff] for a couple of years. So getting thrown into the whole inspo end of things was a shock to my system. I thought, 'This is not at all who I am, it's not at all what I am about. If I'm going to be involved in an industry where I am honestly who I am musically and theatrically, then I'm going to have to find an honest place in it.' God is Good started to feel like that for me."
As the trio worked on the poppier direction of God is Good, some lines were being drawn. When the group jumped out on the final leg of Amy Grant's Lead Me On tour it opened up new doors that McCall says he and Keen were ready to walk through. "It was the first time I had worked with a band since Fireworks. We felt really accepted for who we were on the tour. I felt comfortable with where we were going. That was kind of a point of no return for Bonnie and I. We were both really excited about being able to be more ourselves than we had been able to be before in the group."
Melodie Tunney left First Call, and has since gone on to record an album on Warner Alliance with her husband Dick. Keen says some serious doubt arose as to whether First Call would continue. "A lot of people thought we were going to fall apart when Mel left. A lot of the record people took a wait-and-see attitude, and we really had to become very focused as the three of us."
Marabeth Jordon, who's been singing in the trio for over two years now, will still be the new one to many. Arriving in Nashville in '87 from Arkansas, Jordon felt a call on her life to be a Christian recording artist, but ended up disappointed when things did not work out. "I went through this big spiritual overhauling, because it wasn't working for me, all the things I had grown up with. The thing that puzzled me at the time is that people were asking me, 'What is your message, what is your ministry?' I kept searching my soul, and I just couldn't find mine. I could conjure up one, but I could not say that I found one. So I was very confused.
"And out of the blue, I had this session with Bonnie and Marty. It was the Rich Mullins album, Never Picture Perfect, and we sang together. During that day they told me Mel was quitting and I was one of the people that they wanted to sit down with and have some kind of a dialog about future stuff. I had spun my wheels for so long and now when I quit trying, God just went, 'Here.'"
For First Call the newest, Michael Omartian-produced, Human Song arrives as the result of the last two years' changes. McCall, who speaks highly of past producers, appreciated the differences in approach of Omartian and Keith Thomas. "Keith had a very clear picture of what he wanted to hear coming out of us, and he really worked us to get that end result, and I loved having my voice worked like an instrument. With Michael, he was just as much a perfectionist, but he waited to let what I had to bring to the record surface. A lot more of who I am poured out into the record."
Along with the compositions from the three principals and Omartian, Human Song also features two unexpected covers. Bob Dylan's "Ring Them Bells" seemed an inevitable choice that some contemporary Christian artist was bound to include sooner or later, but Stevie Wonder's "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing"? Keen admits, "Well, there's a lot of heavy moments in our lives that play out in many of these songs. I don't know why we did that one, except it's a great song and like, 'hey, have fun, okay?'" Well, okay, if you insist, but it's not going to be easy.
McCall admits, "When Marabeth came into the group we didn't know at the time that we would all be experiencing so many areas of growth, so much liberation spiritually and emotionally in common as we have."
That growth, suggests McCall, is revolutionary in terms of where it takes First Call. "One way to talk about it is that I have accepted myself more in the last couple of years than I ever have before. And that has allowed me to accept my strengths and weaknesses, which allows me to see them more as I think God sees them -- which is with a lot of acceptance and understanding. So because I respect my human experience more, I want to express that, which is really what people can relate to."
"I absolutely think that I have found my faith in being able to accept myself. And I think I'm a lot more aware of the qualities of God, God's love and forgiveness -- the things that I've talked about for decades. There's an awful lot of revolution going on inside me."
Jordon shares with McCall and Keen a concern that their songs connect with everyday experiences in the lives of people. "Mainly I want my writing to be able to connect with any human being. The weird place that we've come to in Christian music is that we talk about those other aspects of life -- our families, our romantic feelings, our need for affirmation and hope -- as if they have nothing to do with God. But we're saying that those are the places in life where we experience God to the fullest. I need to affirm that there is no place that I find God more than in my human feelings.
"Where 'Human Song' comes into play for me is that I always viewed my humanness as the thing that kept me from God, and it was the thing that I just needed to escape, or push down. Which meant essentially not looking at myself, or down inside myself. Now, I've come to realize that the only means by which I can find God is through my humanity. And I also accept that when God made us, He essentially said 'this is my best creation.' There's a fallen-ness, but there's such a treasure in us."
Keen agrees, "'Human Song' is really just an anthem of being a human being, it's about being up, down, in-between, rolled over, flipped back. The whole record says let's not pretend that we're anything but human beings. We don't have to have it all together, this is a celebration of your humanness. We are all human, that's why we need God in the first place. If we're not going to admit that we're broken, if we're all fixed, why do we need God anyway?"
These days Keen's Human Song has been about the "Broken Places," as she has been rebuilding her life in the wake of a divorce. "It's something that has been painful and I've walked through very slowly for about two years. I haven't really spoken about it publicly and I'm quite resistant to taking it on stage and turning it into some kind of ministry moment, I'm not about that. It's a very private and painful experience.
"I have learned on a day to day level the meaning of God's mercy in my life. I don't feel that God is jumping up and down, thrilled that there's another divorce, but I do remember feeling specific moments of peace, and being straight up with God that this is the only road I could walk. I'm just offering God the brokenness of my life and I've felt His hand in the middle of it. That's all I know.
"'Broken Places' is there because I wanted there to be somewhere on the record where it says 'I've really messed up, I've been a failure.' When I'm in that place, I feel that is when God really does the most with me. That's really the way I can be the best mother, if I admit to my kids that I made a mistake. To apologize and admit that I'm a human being. But 'Human Song,' 'Broken Places,' and 'Here in Your Heart' are about risk, about admitting humanity, about admitting what we can't do without God's mercy. This for me, in a nutshell, is my faith. I'm just now beginning to learn this."
Jordon agrees, "Christianity for me is no longer this sense of arrival, it's become a journey, a journey that I'll be on for the rest of my life. There's this great quote at the end of Scott Peck's People of the Lie. It says, 'None of us possess the truth, but we're all in search of it.' If I bring anything to the group it's a real commitment to honesty at all cost. I think that the good thing that we bring as First Call is that for the first time in the last few years I have really tasted grace."
"Why don't I just come out and say what's
really happening
Why do I hide behind the words that never say a thing
...If I'm not okay, and you're not okay
Then why do we say it's a fine, fine day
I gotta get to the bottom line and share it from the heart
...In the interest of human survival
I'm raising my voice now to sing this human song."
First Call's Marty McCall with Geoff and Becky Thurman
First Call will not be stepping up to a podium to speak about how life should be lived. They will take the stage to sing an honest song from the midst of the human experience. It is a journey they share with any who would listen, and I have this feeling that'll include folk like you and me, people recovering and stumbling and longing for the grace of God in the touch of a friend who'll walk beside us and maybe sing a song that lifts our spirits and point to the light of truth up ahead.
Brian Q. Newcomb is a contributing editor to CCM,
editor of Syndicate,
and pastor of two churches in the St. Louis area.
The music of First Call -- Marty McCall, Bonnie Keen and Marabeth Jordon -- has gone through an interesting metamorphosis over the years; from the jazzy Manhattan Transfer-inspired harmonies of its debut, Undivided, to the lusher arrangements of Something Takes Over, to the edgier pop of God is Good, the last full album recorded with the original member Melodie Tunney. But, let's not refer to Marabeth Jordon as Mel's replacement; let's instead call her a find addition to the latest incarnation of First Call.
After two years of touring and studio woodshedding, Jordon now fits flawlessly into the First Call mix. In addition, the trio has done some soul-searching about its overall presentation. On Human Song, it reverts back to the approach of its debut, with the important difference being the integration of some programmed dance beats, courtesy of studio auteur Michael Omartian. Omartian, still smokin' from recent successes with Michael Bolton and Amy Grant, gives the music an urban edge, while the trio's vocal blend combines Motown and Philly soul with the expected jazz-inflected harmonies, to create a fresh sound, with the potential to reach a wider fan base, including a mainstream audience.
The title track takes a bit of an ironic edge -- a song about humanity, propelled by a machine-driven beat. But the humanity comes from the seamless mesh of three voices, and the challenge (inwardly directed) to be more honest with oneself and transparent with others. McCall, Keen and Jordon achieve a sweet blend on the verses and bridge and slide to a brassy attack on the chorus.
The trio's cover of the Stevie Wonder classic "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing" glides along on a mid-tempo groove, and finds the group trilling with soulful abandon.
"I Will Always Come Back to You" offers a nice change of pace musically, driven by an acoustic piano and multi-tracked guitars. McCall contributes a plaintive lead vocal and soars into the chorus to be joined by the magnificent blend of his partners; this tune has CHR hit written all over it!
It takes guts (and not a little talent) to convincingly cover a Bob Dylan tune; First Call does a first-class job with the anthemic "Ring Them Bells." Keen and Jordon trade impassioned leads, with support from McCall and (on the only vocals they don't sing themselves) a choir featuring among others Stormie Omartian.
"Masquerade" combines a peppy rhythmic pulse and catchy melody with one of Marty's best lead vocals, to rate among the top tracks on Human Song; it's another good bet for crossover success.
The style of Smokey Robinson is evoked on the R&B torch song "I Found Love." Though it's as a group that First Call is most effective, the turn each takes in the spotlight on this number makes it another of the album's highlights.
Each of the ladies gets a chance to strut her stuff, both as a soloist and songwriter. Marabeth's skills are featured on the pensive ballad "Dancin' in the Attic," as Jordon reflects on the secret place in which she feels closest to the Lord.
The album's closer, "Broken Places," starts out as a spotlight for Bonnie Keen, but slowly builds into a vocal tour de force for the entire group. Written by Keen (with Darrell Brown and Tori Taff), the track could well earn the trio yet another round of kudos from the Grammy and Dove Award folks. The song -- with its letter-perfect story, finely-hones arrangement and peerless vocal blend -- serves as a fitting reminder of the three things that so many love about First Call.
--Bruce A. Brown
Entertainment: As a scandal touches the exploding world of Christian pop, traditionalists pray for salvation, while everyone else prays for hits.
Christ Church in Nashville has the hottest choir in town, bar none, and the Pentecostal service on any given Sunday is liable to rock the pews. But earlier this month, when word came of two out-of-wedlock pregnancies in the congregation, the reverberation could be heard in all 50 states. Wynonna Judd held a press conference and said she had conceived and had no immediate plans to wed. The week before, the Gospel Music Association had announced that married Christian-pop singer Michael English had impregnated Marabeth Jordon, who is a singer with the trio First Call -- and somebody else's wife.
Nashville mostly ignored Judd's announcement. After all, she is a singer who's Christian but not a Christian singer. But the town did its best to make English's problems an occasion for reflecting on the temptations of stardom. Warner Records' Christian division, Warner Alliance, said it would stop selling English's records. A week after sweeping six categories at the GMA's Dove Awards, English, 32, halted his career -- and sent the six trophies back. "It's kind of a wake-up call," says Rev. Scotty Smith, who counseled English, Jordon and executives at Warner Alliance.
Yet the call went unheeded among Christian contemporary-music fans, who made a distinction between the ironies of English's sin -- he and Jordon had just done a benefit tour for unwed mothers -- and his songs. They snatched up any of his albums still on the racks. Christian radio stations that banned his Michael Boltonish hits were barraged with nasty calls. "They were more angry with us than with Michael English," said Mark DeYoung at WNAZ in Nashville. "They weren't condemning of him at all."
The fans haven't always been so forgiving. While there's black gospel, Christian country -- and even Christian rap -- for 10 years the heart of the Christian-music boom has been the songs modeled on the '70's soft rock of Carole King and James Taylor. It's sappy-sweet and never sad: the object of love is Jesus, after all, so it's never unrequited. When Christian pop stars like Amy Grant, followed by her keyboard player, Michael W. Smith, began dropping Jesus' name from their lyrics to sell to wider, secular audiences, Christian fans felt betrayed. "A lot of people thought of [Grant] as their own," says Chaz Corzine of Grant's management company, Blanton/Harrell. Undaunted, Christian contemporary stars pushed farther into the mainstream market. The object of the singer's love grew vaguer; videos got gauzier. (Even English -- staunchly Christian in his lyrics -- sings, "Only Your love can set me free ... I need You to save me tonight.") Grant turned up on TV shows sponsored by beer companies, shocking the traditional gospel audience that had grown up on wizened quartets humming "blood and cross" hymns. But as Grant's crossover succeeded -- she hit the top of the pop charts with "Baby Baby" in 1991, from the quadruple platinum album "Heart in Motion" -- younger Christians found they had something in common with their secular contemporaries. "What 'Heart in Motion' did," says her manager, Dan Harrell, "was give Christian kids something to be proud of. They could say, 'Hey, we're normal.'"
The elders of the gospel scene, however, are still concerned with spreading the Word through music. The boom has made them wary. As mainstream companies like BMG, Warner and EMI have bought into gospel labels or founded their own, there's fear that decisions will be ruled less by prayer and the guidance of pastors than by the bottom line. "They aren't in there for evangelical purposes," says Harrell. "They are using them for diversification." Still, Harrell says the mainstream labels have been good for Christian music. "Things have matured in terms of distribution and sales," he says. "The big labels provided the money to do that." (Exactly how much sales have matured will become clearer in July, when Christian bookstores, which sell 80 percent of all Christian music, begin reporting sales through SoundScan, a computer network that Billboard magazine uses to compile it's top-seller charts.) The boom that has tripled revenues to more than $500 million in the past decade has also raised the production quality of all Christian music, not just that of the crossover darlings. "Now you can tell a new act when you see one," Harrell notes. Traditionalists should realize, too, he says, that secularized Christian stars are better than other influences Christian kids are exposed to. "They were comparing Amy to the Blackwood Brothers," says Harrell. "They've got to compare her to Madonna. There are Christians that don't understand our culture too well." "The sad thing is, there are people in Christian music who live in their own little world," says Smith, who, with four gold records, packed arenas on his recent tour with Grammy-winning Christian rappers DC Talk. "It's time to say, 'People, we've got to find out what the real world is like.'"
The mainstream industry hardly understands the Christian business any better. Zach Glickman, who represents Russ Taff, a Christian and a country singer who left his gospel label for Warner's mainstream country division, expected business on the Christian side to be easier, but it never was. "Some people are genuinely wonderful and some just have the lingo down real good. There were times when I would ask for an advance for Russ, and the answer would be 'Let us pray about it.' You're talking to a Jew. To me that's just a jive answer. God is not in the record business."
Now the boom is driving mainstream acts, especially country performers, to the Christian market. "Artists are viewing the expanding gospel format as an avenue for exposure," says Dan Bradley, a publicist for Lee Greenwood, who has sung his 1984 hit "God Bless the USA" on Robert Schuller's "Hour of Power" and the "700 Club." But too much open devotion, it seems, can hurt a mainstream artist. Ricky Skaggs says he's still playing the same bluegrass-influenced country music that made him a top act in the early '80s. But since he underwent a "second blessing" that inspired him to quote Scripture from the stage, he has hit a wall. "The record label was wondering whether I'd shut up if I saw my record sales dying. They died, but I didn't shut up."
Skagg's gamble may yet pay off in this world. Some Christians think country music, rid of its drinking and cheating songs, can provide the next big expansion for musical ministry. "We saw figures that 50 percent of people that attend country concerts go to church on Sunday morning," says Todd Payne of Cheyenne Records, a new Christian country label. Like its audiences, country music has its roots in the church, making it easily adaptable to a gospel message. So blurry is the line between Christian and mainstream country that some Christian promoters are contemplating crossing over first and coming back to the Christian market later. "We're not preachers," says Bruce Haynes, whose songs, though full of salvation, contain enough wit and bona-fide country sound to have brought mainstream labels like MCA and Epic courting. "We're getting play on a lot of secular stations. That's the market we want to hit."
The only one not actively planning a crossover, it seems, is English, who spoke to Newsweek from Florida, where he retreated after the scandal. Since it broke, he has been encouraged to be the next to was into the mainstream. He says his first task is to restore himself in the eyes of his peers. "I grew up singing Christian music and Christian music is where my heart is. I'd like to sing [Christian] music again, but I don't know if I will be allowed to ... I knew when I was accepting Artist of the Year, I was actually saying goodbye." He reported that Jordon, whom First Call has replaced with a studio singer, has miscarried. Jordon could not be reached for comment.
English might take comfort in the fact that Christian music is now robust enough to handle a suggestion of hypocrisy. Perversely, the buzz created by the scandal only testifies to the popularity of Christian music: a few years ago, his story might not have made the papers at all.
Paul O'Donnell with Amy Eskind in Nashville
...My final Christmas request is for First Call’s Beyond December. This collection brings together First Call members Bonnie Keen and Marty McCall with a cast of guest vocalists: Gary Chapman, Amy Grant, Larnelle Harris, Wayne Watson, Russ Taff, Ashley Cleveland, David Maddux and Melodie Tunney (a member of the original First Call threesome). In most cases, the guest performer provides the third part of the trio. It’s kind of like the Imperials’ entire career condensed onto one album.
Of all the Christmas projects I’ve previewed this year, this is the most musically progressive and diverse. "In The Bleak Midwinter," spotlights Taff against a simple, acoustic-guitar backdrop. "Carol" has a medieval/Celtic vibe, and "Born A Sacrifice" is an acappella moment reuniting Keen, McCall, Tunney and Maddux, vocalist/arranger for First Call’s two previous holiday projects.
And if I’m in the mood for numbers with big production, they’re here too. The Nashville String Machine lends a grand orchestra to several cuts.
Perhaps the most memorable moment is "After December Slips Away," featuring Keen and McCall as a duo. After all they’ve endured, this twosome deserves a musical moment to themselves. And the message they deliver is worth taking to heart. Keen describes this song as "explaining that after the festivities end and December is long gone, because we have Christ, the season still remains."
The members of First Call deserve extra stuff in their stocking and stuffing in their turkey for bringing such vast and diverse talent together. I never thought I’d hear Larnelle Harris, Amy Grant, Ashley Cleveland, rock guitarist Dann Huff and Jerry McPherson and Choir drummer Steve Hindalong on the same album. It’s like having your fruitcake and eating it too. (Providing you like fruitcake.)
Santa, as you probably know, this group has faced winds of adversity during its ten years of artistry and ministry. But Keen and McCall haven’t been blow away. They’re still answering the call. As Keen says, "We’ve learned that relationships are what we need to be about. God has led us into a place of being able to speak a message of grace perspective and eternal things. We want to honestly share our struggle and encourage the industry and the body of Christ to be awake now, more than ever."
So, Santa, I think you can see why I want these three albums [Steven Curtis Chapman’s The Music of Christmas, Bryan Duncan’s Christmas is Jesus, and First Call’s Beyond December]. If you bring them to me, I’ll be content. I won’t ask for anything else. (Although if you have an extra lap-top computer lying around...)
Merry Christmas, Santa! Thanks for hearing me out. You’re a saint.
O, one final thing: While you’re up there flying over the bars, jails, churches and sleepy snow-capped houses this December, take some time to reflect. Take some time to think about The One who gives Christmas its name, its meaning, and its wonder.
Sincerely,
Todd R. Hafer
First Call has come home for Christmas – as a duo – with the holiday release, Beyond December. But the road home wasn’t paved without a few stones. Much "soul searching, prayer" and decision-making went into this group’s journey back to the studio after former First Call member Marabeth Jordon left the group in 1994 following her affair with Michael English. As Marty McCall puts it, "The group as we knew it is dead." Bonnie Keen adds, "We just couldn’t hire another singer and stick her in a slot and expect her to understand. We just didn’t have the heart.
They were also too emotionally stressed to try "shopping a deal" so when Warner Alliance approached them with a Christmas concept album (feature artist accompanied by guest vocals) that had been previously recorded but never released, it seemed like a natural place to start. "With Bonnie and me as the duo and the guest vocal as the third part, it was kind of a bridge from the trio to the duet," McCall explained.
But some of the artists who had contributed to the unreleased project wouldn’t allow their vocal tracks to be used on the First Call album, leaving the assumption that the English/Jordon affair would now impact the career of Keen and McCall as well. "We were given some explanations ranging from overexposure to just no real explanation at all," Keen says, "We talked to the artists and labels and asked them to please leave the tracks as recorded, but they pretty much said, ‘We’re sorry you’ve had a hart time, but no.’ At that point, I think God began to use the album to heal our hearts."
First Call made some calls to a few friends, asking for a little vocal support to complete the project. What followed was a who’s who of Christian artists acting out the definition of friends. Amy Grant, Gary Chapman, Russ Taff, Ashley Cleveland, Dick and Mel Tunney – all making time to support First Call.
"We were so broken and vulnerable at the time, we just needed some help," says McCall, "[The support] was symbolic of what the Lord was teaching us – the importance of being about eternal tings, being true to our faith and the principles of our faith in the way we do business and in our creativity."
Today, they both talk about "the baggage" that has been "burned away" and the renewed focus they have gained through hard lessons learned. First Call is still on-call because they feel the need "to speak some of the healing, restoration, and truth [they’ve] experiences to the Body of Christ."
Keen adds, "We have a unique place to speak from now, and what better way to start than on a Christmas album, which is about hope."
Beyond December is an unusual collection of classic Christmas melodies, somewhat set in the old First call style, but with a "celebratory and worshipful" spirit. Guest vocalists only add to the sense of discovery in the music. "We really focused on the sound of Christmas," says McCall, "something that would draw us into the spirit of the season." It manages to do just that without offering the predictable Christmas spirituals. Beyond December is an unusual collection of classic Christmas melodies, somewhat set in the old First call style, but with a "celebratory and worshipful" spirit. Guest vocalists only add to the sense of discovery in the music. "We really focused on the sound of Christmas," says McCall, "something that would draw us into the spirit of the season." It manages to do just that without offering the predictable Christmas spirituals.
And so, although this Christmas will find First Call and their families in Las Vegas, celebrating the season by sharing their songs, they have moved beyond the December of disillusionment to the strange familiarity of home ... again.
By Melissa Riddle
"Master, whose sin made this man blind – his parents’ or his own?" The disciples’ question in John 9 exposes one of humanity’s oldest foibles. Prosperity, good events and a swell life are seen – secretly – as evidence of God’s blessings upon a good person, or as some sort of acknowledgement for being in God’s will. We follow this train of thought to apply it – not so secretly – to anyone upon whom misfortune has fallen. Tsk, tsk, we think. Hopefully they’ll figure out where they went astray before it gets worse. But when asked, Jesus cut through that rationale: "No one’s sin made this man blind. It is to show the glory of God." Jesus often reminded His followers that His calling did not lead to prosperity, but more likely, suffering.
That’s hardly the calling Marty McCall and Bonnie Keen had in mind in 1984 when they started hiring out for vocal recording sessions as First Call. Their ascension as artists since then has been well documented. When discussing their new album, Bonnie comments, "I think we’ve talked so much about how we backed into this whole thing. But the calling itself became very serious for us by the God Is Good record, which was in ’89. We really had a specific vision to combine ministry with entertainment value, and we saw no problem with that."
Where they did see a problem has also been well documented. Suffice it to say (for those of you who have been trying out your underground bunker for the end of the millennium), the rumor that Christian artists just might be real people struggling with their own weaknesses turned out to be all too true. When the Michael English scandal broke, First Call’s career also crumpled like a car caught in a chain-reaction on a foggy freeway. Since we all tend to want to slow down and look at traffic accidents, it’s no surprise that the first topic tackled when talking with First Call is that scandal. The story broke two years ago after Michael English had swept the Dove Awards, winning everything from Song of the Year to Artist of the Year, only to admit the next day to an extramarital affair with Marabeth Jordon, one-third of what was then First Call. This led to English’s departure from his label and Marabeth’s exit from the group.
The Monday morning quarterbacks have all analyzed how everyone involved mishandled everything, but I wanted to know what Bonnie and Marty felt they did right in response to the whole matter. Bonnie’s answer said it all: "I don’t know what else we could have done. People ask, ‘Did you kick Marabeth out of the group?’ We did not kick her out; she asked to leave. There was this very calm parting of the ways. Then we read that we kicked her out!"
Marty adds, "Ironically, all of us were very much in accountable relationships. I think that the only fair thing to attribute it to is that once somebody has decided that they’re going to explore sin, then free will gives us that choice." Bonnie agrees. "It’s a choice. I bristle when people have said over the past two years, ‘Where were the godly people around the involved parties?’ I say they were all around."
Our faith causes to poke in the ashes and look for meaning and signs of hope in the rubble, and First Call has found renewed faith at their own ground zero. But as Marty relates, it wasn’t easy to find: "We just spent about a year on our faces before God. We were so worn out physically, emotionally, financially, so stressed out, so exhausted by the end, that God has had to heal that, step by step, and He’s still healing us. There was probably some naiveté on our part in terms of assuming that everybody involved in our career only wanted God’s will, and I think if you have to choose to put your life in God’s hands or in the industry’s hands...." Marty’s eyes twinkle as he starts to laugh, "We’re much happier now having our lives and careers in God’s hands."
"We got really tired of talking about the past," he says, confirming the obvious. "We get tired of hearing ourselves say the same things over and over because these are not our stories. But it’s really true that God used what we went through to change us. But we kind of whine sometimes about talking about it so much," he says, laughing, "because as far as God’s direction for our lives, we’ve really moved on. But the fact is, that because God rebuilds on the ashes of what often has been destroyed, it’s almost impossible for us now to talk about who we are, before God, without talking about the past. We didn’t just go through a root canal, it really changed us. Like the story of Nehemiah rebuilding the walls, God takes whatever’s been destroyed and builds and creates new out of it, and that’s really what’s happened. Not to overspiritualize it, we are talking about just music here. But it’s our lives and our families. And we do feel like we heard God say, ‘Continue to do this.’"
But was there any temptation to come up with a new name for the group? Marty and Bonnie look at each other quizzically for a moment before Bonnie says, "You know, we never discussed it. Because we’d been in the group from the beginning, both of us, I think we felt like, we are First Call." Marty concurs, adding, "We were very willing just to lay it down, and we felt very strongly that the Lord was encouraging us not to let it die this way." Is there a message to be gleaned from their continuation? Bonnie thinks so. "God restores. And it doesn’t happen all at once."
How does it feel to sing together as a duo? "After singing together for ten years, we were kind of ready for some stretching," says Marty. "Yeah, stretching and more soloing," adds Bonnie. "And it opens up the harmony structure a lot. We experimented a lot more on this record than we have in a long time. We soloed, do-wopped, we did our own backups and everything. It was fun." Marty looks conspiratorial as he adds, "We came close to using a wah-wah pedal."
And how much concert work has crept back into their lives? Bonnie says, "Weekends, mostly. We’re kind of building back, which isn’t bad. It’s different. Actually, when we go on the road the people have been very supportive and that’s been the best place for us to receive ministering ourselves."
Marty amplifies their new sense of calling: "I want us to be able to speak to people out of our brokenness about restoration, about forgiveness, about grace, about healing ... because we know personally what it is and that it’s ongoing. When you know from your own experience that beyond a shadow of a doubt, whatever area it is you need God to lift you up and out of, whether the hell of yourself or the hell that’s around you, He’ll do it. And that’s the key for me."
Bonnie further illuminates by adding, "Maybe it’s by sharing pieces of ourselves that we never would before. We share more now that we ever had in concert personally. We’ll sit and talk to every person who wants to talk to us, for an hour or two after a concert, and we never did that before." "And it’s certainly encouraging us, too," Marty adds. Bonnie smiles and concludes, "Especially when people say, ‘Don’t give up.’"
The seeing can never know what it is like for sight to be restored to the blind. But as anyone who has lost his sight could tell you, with restored vision, even the palest color becomes incredibly brilliant. And now, as First Call sets their sights on what’s ahead, their faces betray an excited anticipation about what’s coming next around the corner. But you’d have to be blind not to see that.
Sharon McCall – whose voice can also be heard bgv’ing on a few albums – interviewed First Call just as they wrapped up recording. She last interviewed Carman for RELEASE’s February issue.
As odd as it may seem, First Call has good reason to just now release a self-titled album after 12 years of making great music and cranking out best-selling recordings.
"We may not be starting out, but we are starting over," explains Marty McCall. What necessitated this new beginning was an event two years ago that seized national attention and essentially, says McCall, "put us all out of a job."
That was when First Call member Marabeth Jordon announces she had had an affair with Christian singer Michael English – and was pregnant with his child. Both were married to other people at the time (both have since divorced).
"We were devastated," McCall says of himself and remaining First Call member Bonnie Keen. "It made us really think about our lives and our ministry. We felt at the time that everything we had been working for – integrity, showing people who looked up to us that we loved and obeyed Christ, and even the ‘family’ we had as a close-knit group – was blown away."
McCall and Keen didn’t want to "just carry on as usual" as many people in their situation would be tempted to do. Instead of replacing Jordon for their already scheduled concert dates, they used a studio singer to fill-out First Call’s famous three-part harmony.
"God was trying to tell us something," says McCall. "If we simply replaced Marabeth and went on, I think we would have been treating the whole situation too lightly. Instead of running for cover, we wanted to stand strong in the face of God and hear what He had to say."
One of the things they heard was God’s call to reprioritize their lives. "The whole event made me appreciate my family more," McCall explains. "I am dead-set on putting God at the top of my list, then my family and only then my music. If I feel the first two are suffering because of the music, I’ll leave the music in a heartbeat." Thankfully, that has not happened.
Today, McCall and Keen feel God has given them the OK to maintain the First Call name and continue with only their two lead vocals. "It gives us a chance to explore our vocal talents individually," says McCall. "Much of our music sounds like the old First Call in terms of focusing on our strength as vocal musicians, but I think many listeners will find a freshness to it as well."
Indeed, this new First Call album in many ways may be the group’s best yet. "Will I Find Love," one of the first radio releases, is a brilliant song, blending incredible vocals with passionate music and a captivating melody. Listeners are treated to the individual talents of each singer – McCall’s crystal highs and Keen’s emotive alto. That’s followed by the kind of complex vocal harmony that has always defined First Call.
"Breath of God" delivers a soft and moving appreciation of God’s omnipresence: In the tenderness of woman / In the dignity of man / in the laughter of the children at play / God blows His breath. The song would be best listened to while standing a mountaintop, arms wide open to the Creator, as you watch the glory of His sunset. It’s truly beautiful.
"We’re deeper lyrically now that we’ve ever been," says McCall. "We’ve been changed and that comes out in our lyrics. We feel the need to express God’s phenomenal ability and desire to restore His children back to a state of obedience and to bring joy out of heartbreak."
This attitude shines through on songs like the ethereal "Shadow of the Cross" and the upbeat "Selah."
Yes, self-titled albums are usually reserved for musical debuts, but First Call has been reborn. And with the find talent and artistry McCall and Keen exhibit on this their second debut release, they can call it whatever they want.
--Robert Liparulo
Christian singer Bonnie Keen endured divorce, depression, a near
date rape, and the destruction of her career. So why's she able to smile?
Considering all Christian singer Bonnie Keen's been through, you'd expect her to be a bitter, angry woman.
Her first husband's relationship with another woman led to the demise of their 10-year marriage 10 years ago. As a single mom to two young children—Courtney, then six, and Graham, then two—Bonnie endured constant financial struggles and nearly had to move her fractured family in with her parents. When she finally re-entered the dating scene, she narrowly escaped being date-raped by a "nice Christian man."
Just when it appeared things were finally looking up and First Call, the multiple Grammy-nominated and Dove Award-winning Christian singing group she'd been part of for 10 years, was about to sign its biggest recording deal to date, infidelity struck again. This time it was in the form of the highly publicized affair in 1994 between her married groupmate MaraBeth Jordan and Christian solo artist Michael English, also married. The record deal was lost and the Christian music industry turned its back on First Call as everyone tried to figure out how to respond to this unprecedented scandal.
Her livelihood deeply damaged and her personal life in shambles, Bonnie sank into deep depression. Unable to eat, sleep, or stop crying, she ignored thoughts of suicide merely for the sake of her children.
Yet today Bonnie, 45, sits in a trendy pizza joint in a Nashville suburb not far from the home she now shares with her second husband, Brent, looking, oddly enough, happy. In fact, one of the first things you notice about Bonnie—besides her 5'11" stature!—is her effervescent personality. She's released a solo album, Marked for Life (Spring Hill), and a book, Blessed Are the Desperate for They Will Find Hope (Harvest House), to encourage others.
So what happened?
In this exclusive TCW interview, Bonnie tells of the surprising companion she found in her darkest hours, explains why she calls herself an "out-of-the-closet basket case," and reveals her secrets to survival, hope, and joy.
Through some of our friends. He'd actually told them he was in love with a woman he'd met at work.
But I have to be honest, things weren't perfect before that discovery. Although outwardly we seemed like the perfect couple, behind the scenes, Daniel and I had awful arguments about everything from finances to our physical relationship. Our endless discussions got us nowhere, so I dragged us into counseling, hoping for healing.
Our therapist helped us face negative patterns that had existed from the beginning of our marriage. For example, I'm the classic firstborn overachiever. I grew up thinking the wife took care of everything, from the bills to the kids, and I thrived on that role. And Daniel grew up with a mom who divorced three times, so he wanted a stable woman in his life, someone to take care of him. Our personalities fit nicely with each other—but it wasn't a healthy fit.
While Daniel liked being taken care of, I believe over time he became threatened by it. He never had a chance to feel like the strong one. We didn't have a relationship of equals.
Through counseling, I realized I needed to stop playing the parent role in our marriage. While I tried to back off, it was difficult to undo patterns we'd been living in for a decade. It required a tremendous amount of work. That's why I think this other relationship was so tempting to Daniel; it didn't come with any baggage.
I confronted Daniel, but at first he wouldn't admit it. My friends confirmed it was true, and I finally got him to talk about the other relationship in counseling. We went through a gut-wrenching year and a half of talking, counseling, trying everything I could think of to make our marriage work.
But we didn't make much progress and my health rapidly deteriorated. I lost a ton of weight and underwent two surgeries for precancerous conditions. After so much time and so many health problems, my father said to me, "You've done everything you can. I want you to call a lawyer and get on with your life." A couple other close Christian friends and my pastor told me the same thing, and it was clear that Daniel wanted to be with another woman.
Sensing a peace about my decision, I filed for divorce.
Most people didn't have all the facts. Since I was the one initiating it, the consensus was that I'd flipped out. Everyone but our closest friends who knew the whole story felt I was the "villain."
I wanted to pass out flyers saying, "I know I'm no picnic to live with sometimes, but you don't know all the details." People who didn't know me or the circumstances wrote me scathing letters.
I was already beating myself up over the whole thing. I felt as though I'd failed God, my parents, my friends, my ex-husband, my children. Even though I had biblical grounds and felt God's release to go ahead with the divorce, I felt so ashamed that I'd failed in the primary relationship in my life.
When my marriage fell apart, I finally had to face all the negative emotions I'd ignored for years. That was overwhelming! But it also forced me to start questioning all I'd been taught as a kid. I began to search what God's Word says about our emotions. I discovered that Jesus got angry and sad and hurt. And if he felt these emotions, then it must be okay for me as well.
I also realized that when Christ was on the earth, he didn't seek out perfect people. When I realized Christ really liked basket-case women, I found peace. And I found the freedom to be imperfect.
I finally got it: We aren't saved or loved because of our achievements, but because of Christ's death on the cross. I discovered what an amazing gift grace is.
They were so young—Courtney was six and Graham was two—that I'm not sure they totally understood.
Graham doesn't really have any memories of us living together as a family, and that bothers him. Lately he's been asking, "Did you and Dad ever have fun together?" I'll answer, "Oh, yeah. Let me tell you about the time we did this …" Graham needs to know it wasn't always bad. And he needs his dad to be a hero. So I try to honor the positive times—for my kids' sake and for mine. There are good memories. And though it's painful to remember them, I need to.
It's been an act of discipline for me to speak positively to my children about their father. They've been hurt enough; they don't need to hear my pain, too.
The one thing I really wanted to do for them was keep the house. We lived in a sweet neighborhood with great Christian neighbors and a bunch of kids who ran in packs together from yard to yard. I didn't want to tear them away from that, too; I wanted something to remain stable.
You bet. In our state, the law requires divorced couples to divide the equity in your house, regardless of the circumstances. So I decided to pay Daniel back every month a piece of equity from the house until it was paid off. I wasn't earning much performing with First Call, singing advertising jingles, and being a backup vocalist on other people's albums, so it took forever. I'd wake up in the middle of the night worrying about how I was going to buy groceries.
Several times we almost had to sell the house, but God always provided something at the 11th hour. A friend would offer to pay for a year of my kids' schooling, or a check would arrive just in the nick of time. Sometimes we lived on credit cards.
But in the end, the children never had to leave the house in which they grew up. It was a safe haven during some awful times.
Yes, but it didn't happen overnight. Sometimes all I could say was, I'm willing to forgive at some point, but I'm not there now. God used that willingness.
The reality is, there are two people involved in a divorce, two sides to every story. I needed forgiveness as much as Daniel did. Sure, technically his relationship with another woman split us up, but I wasn't perfect either. When I realized how much God has forgiven me, I couldn't help but believe that forgiveness was my door to peace.
Two years after we divorced, Daniel married her. That was extremely hard. Nothing prepares you for seeing your ex-spouse marry again. He was moving on with his life, and I was alone, struggling with single parenting.
But knowing the kids were watching me for cues as to how to respond to their father—and now their stepmother—was good. I realized I could teach them a huge lesson about bitterness or forgiveness. And I don't want bitter kids.
Here's an example: When Courtney turned 16, her father and I and our spouses took her to dinner together. We gave her a purity ring and prayed for her to honor God with her body and her life.
Yes, but you learn to deal with it. This definitely couldn't have happened five years ago. God hates divorce, and this awkwardness is part of the reason why. A 16th birthday should be joyful, not awkward. But I've learned time and again that God can redeem anything if we allow him to.
I've established a friendship with my ex-husband's wife. It took me years to get to that point. She's been a great step-mom to my kids, and now she and I get along great. But there were several years of silent agony.
At some point I realized we're all going to be in heaven together. The Bible says if you believe in Christ and repent of your sins, which I believe they've done, then there's grace. So I figured we'd better learn to deal with this relationship here.
Soon after my divorce, I asked God, "If that was a wrong guy for me, where's the right one?" There was no answer to that question for several years, and I wrestled with loneliness and fear.
But four years after the divorce, I met a man at my children's Christian school. He was a single parent with two kids near my children's ages, and was on the coaching team. I'd see him at the kids' games. As I watched how he helped the kids, I thought he was a nice man. We talked for more than six weeks before we actually went out.
Well, yes and no. I wanted to meet him at a restaurant, but he insisted on picking me up. But we never made it to dinner because he physically attacked me in my home. He was larger than I am, and I struggled to get away.
After what seemed like an eternity of heated conversation and physical struggle, I finally said, "Isn't this what a lawyer would call attempted date rape?" And then he left. I was bruised and sore from our struggles. But much wiser.
I learned how susceptible we are when we're lonely. When we so desperately want someone to love us, we're even more of a target. Apparently this guy had hit on a lot of single moms in the area. I warned several friends and alerted the school.
It also made me realize I'd made finding a new husband more important than my relationship with God. I needed to die to those desires and trust God with my future, no matter what. Even if I never remarried, I knew I still needed to be able to find joy in every day.
We were recording and touring. Marty McCall and MaraBeth Jordan, the other two people in First Call, were like family to me. They offered me support and stability during the divorce.
But when we went on a tour with Michael English, Michael and Mara-Beth seemed to spend a lot of time together, and their interactions seemed inappropriate for people who were married—and not to each other. When I saw this flirtatious behavior while we were on the road, it really bothered me. I knew what had happened in my own marriage must have started out the same way. I didn't want them to go through what I had, so I confronted Michael and MaraBeth.
They were both very angry with me. Because I'd verbalized my concern, I became the bad guy.
That troubled me, because I knew this wasn't what First Call was all about. Their relationship seemed suspicious, yet we were scheduled to remain on the road with Michael for many more months. After wrestling, praying, and talking with Marty about it, I decided I needed to leave the group.
The night I was going to tell everyone I was leaving First Call, MaraBeth finally confessed the affair to the group. MaraBeth ended up leaving, and I stayed. We temporarily replaced her with the girl I was going to suggest to take my place.
It was awful. Nothing like this had ever happened in the Christian music industry, and nobody knew how to respond. We were all in shock.
A lot of people cancelled our concerts. Marty and I had to write letters to pastors assuring them we still loved God. Our concert booking agency didn't call us for months. A few close friends called us, and Warner Alliance offered First Call the opportunity to record two albums as a duo. But the rest of the Christian music industry disappeared for us.
Because our group was like family, it felt too similar to the mess of my divorce. My life was ripping apart again. I'd thought this ministry was a safe place where nothing like that could happen.
I sank into a deep depression. It started with crying spurts. The next thing I knew, I couldn't stop crying—at home, in my car, the grocery store.
By the time I went on the Young Messiah Tour that year, I was crying constantly, barely sleeping two hours at a time, unable to eat. Most days I wanted to die.
When that tour ended, I got off the bus, drove home to touch base with the kids, then drove straight to my pastor's office. I was shaking and weeping so badly that he called a medical doctor and made an appointment for me that day.
They wanted to hospitalize me, but I told them I couldn't. I had two little kids at home who'd already been through so much. I was their world. They couldn't "lose" me too, even temporarily.
Immediately the doctor put me on antidepressants. I reacted badly to the first two we tried, but by the third I was finally able to sleep for at least three hours at a time.
Slowly my body stabilized. I'd lost weight, my metabolism was messed up, I was severely sleep-deprived. And those were just the physical symptoms! Healing took a long time.
Thankfully, my pastor and my physician, who's also a Christian, had the wisdom to tell me this had nothing to do with my faith. While God can heal anything, I needed to treat this medically. My physician compared my depression to diabetes or pneumonia. If you have those illnesses, of course you get treatment.
But I'll admit there was a bit of a mental adjustment. I had to get past the thought that Christians are supposed to be happy, that depression is just a sign of weak faith.
To be honest, at first I got angry with God. I'd been through the divorce, single parenting, financial struggles, a near date rape, the destruction of my career, and now depression! I remember lying on the floor with my Bible across me, weeping and telling God, "I'm beginning to doubt you're there because I can't see you anywhere. You're making my life worse." I'd never blamed God for anything, but I'd finally reached a breaking point.
I lashed out at God and said, "You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm either going to go deeper with you than I ever have, or I'm just turning away for good." So I tried not to believe. I thought maybe I needed to let my faith go. It hadn't worked in my marriage, ministry, finances, or physical health. It didn't seem to work anywhere.
An amazing thing happened. In the depth of my despair, I realized the only one who truly understood my pain was God. I couldn't even verbalize the depth of the emotions churning inside me. But Bible stories kept coming to my mind. Horrible stories of death, destruction, and despair. And I was struck that God didn't leave out the parts of the Bible that are ugly or depressing. I suddenly related to those stories and clung to the fact that God had been there in each one.
I remembered that Isaiah 53:3 says Jesus was a man of sorrow familiar with suffering. And that he hung out with people who had messy lives. He loved them and seemed to say, You're kind of a mess here, but I love you. I want you to change some things in your life, but most of all I want you to hold onto me. Let me take this cross and help you bear it. I finally learned the deep significance of him carrying our pain and shame and sin.
So I realized God was in this awful abyss with me. He wasn't afraid of my despair or repulsed by it; he wanted to take it for me. That was such a powerful, perspective-changing truth.
Yes. And at the same time I was making these realizations, my body was stabilizing. It took me about a year to get back to normal. The medication took the edge off the utter despair and hopelessness in which I'd been trapped. With a rested body and clearer thinking, I was finally on my way to healing. As I grew stronger, so did my desire to reach out to many others who'd been through similar struggles.
I began to see many comrades sitting in the pews at church, people who were desperate for somebody to speak about divorce and depression. They felt like the lowest of the low, afraid the church didn't love them anymore, that God didn't love them anymore.
At the few concerts First Call did perform and at some of my own, I shared from the stage about my depression and my near date rape experience.
The first time I shared some of these stories, the room got deathly quiet. Inside I was thinking, You shouldn't have shared; they don't want to hear this. But I plunged ahead. After the concert, several women came up to me in tears, thanking me profusely for talking about such tough topics. They were so relieved they weren't the only Christians who'd been sexually assaulted or who understood the pain of betrayal. Right then I realized God could use my experiences to comfort others. And I was amazed all over again at how he can redeem any situation.
Since then I've started speaking at conferences for women and single parents. Also, though I'm still part of First Call, which is now a duo, I recorded a solo album full of the hope and healing I've found. And I wrote a book about all I've been through.
First and foremost, God truly loves and cares for you. Divorced people so desperately need to hear that.
No matter how lonely you are, keep your standards high, especially if you have children watching. Be careful how quickly you get involved in another romantic relationship. It's too easy to be relationally needy, which doesn't make for the best decisions.
Feel all the anger and shame and guilt inside you. Don't try to deny those negative feelings because they're part of the healing process. You can't really move forward until you push through those emotions, not around them. But at some point if you're willing to forgive and seek forgiveness, God can bring incredible grace, healing, and peace to your life.
Find a church that will support you. God hates divorce, but he doesn't hate divorced people.
Finally, don't give up your dreams, because many of us think everything's lost. But I've learned firsthand that nothing's ever wasted if you give it to God. He's redeemed every broken place in my life. Sometimes it's taken a while to see his hand. But his redeeming power keeps me going.
When I heard that the divorce rate is the same in the church as outside it, I was overwhelmed. That means half the adults sitting in the pews on Sunday have been affected by divorce.
After I started healing from my depression, I thought God was going to keep me single so I could minister to single parents. I wanted to challenge churches to offer encouragement and practical help to these hurting people. And then I started seeing Brent …
He's a recording engineer I've worked with off and on over the past 20 years. I'd always admired his integrity, faith, and sense of humor.
Brent had a gut-wrenching divorce, too. His wife left him and took their five-year-old son with her. Then she revealed he wasn't really Brent's son after all; he was another man's child. Brent was devastated.
Yes, unfortunately. When he was going through all this years ago, I asked God to bring him a wife who'd give him children to replace the son he'd had taken away. I had no idea I was praying myself into his life!
We ran into each other again after our divorces and started seeing each other. On our first date he said, "I re-member what you were wearing the first time I saw you 20 years ago." He described where I was performing and everything I had on, down to the boots. He was right! I was impressed.
Everyone loved him—my friends, my family. He knew all about my depression, and wanted to be with me anyway. My kids took to him, too.
I knew he was a man I could honor and trust. He makes me laugh and he's so godly.
Almost three years ago now. The pastor who'd counseled me through my divorce and depression, and Brent through his divorce and the loss of his son, was the one who married us. We also sought counseling together before the wedding—just us and with the kids. Brent and I both want this marriage to be right.
I used to think if something bothered me, I could just take care of it and be strong. But if something bothers me now, I bring it up. And I'm married to a man who isn't afraid of that. We know how to talk things through.
We also have set times of communication. Brent calls them our "hour of power." Every Sunday we check in with each other to see how we're doing and to discuss anything that may be wrong. That's been a great tool for keeping the lines of communication open.
I often remind myself to back off. I want to respect Brent in ways I probably disrespected my first husband by taking over.
Yes. When we were dating, Brent told me that if God would allow us to get married, it would be like Job, from the Old Testament, who had restored to him 10 times over what he'd lost.
I look at my life now—the peace I feel with my first husband and his wife, my healthy kids and wonderful new mate, my solo album and book to encourage hurting people in the church—and I couldn't agree more.