"Affirmation"

By: Miracle Shining

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The Slayers heavy hitters and mention of Utena characters do not belong to me. The song "We Two are One" sung by Lala Moore belongs to "Pop n Music 4," Konami games, and Konami Industries. However, Worthing and their representations within are copyrighted under Miracle Shining and Miracle Shining's Secret Garden. Uh...yah, enjoy! =O.o=

 

I know you are hurt babe,
Living in this solitude,
You're tumbling down,
Feeling like there's no hands to hold...

Detective Zelgadiss Greywars sat silently on the chair in the living room. He watched as a young tall blonde man washed dishes furiously in the little kitchenette. He remained sitting, silently making note of each arm movement and hand grasp.

Zel had forgotten Valentine's Day. Under most circumstances, one's spouse or mate would have been upset by the fact. But, his lover Gourry had expected it. The blonde had said nothing about the day, and they had eaten dinner as normal. But, it was the results after dinner that had provided the tense mood in the room.

The detective never denied the fact that he was a work fanatic. He had come home from a rather unpleasant Valentine's Day Massacre in which an unstable woman had went around collecting the hearts of all of the men that had scorned her. When they had finally arrested her, she had sixteen seperate jars, each containing a human heart, decorating her mantle. The day had been stressful and Zelgadiss had only realized it was the 14th after he had walked through the door. He had expected Gourry to be upset, but the blonde had said nothing.

After dinner, while they were cleaning up the table, the phone had rang. Zelgadiss had answered and promptly sat down, grabbing his papers and recounting some information that hadn't been recorded during their investigation. Only then had he noticed Gourry picking up the plates rapidly and slamming them in the sink. He should have known then that there was something wrong, but he continued with his work via telephone.

The detective sighed and took another sip of his scotch. He knew that Gourry had rewashed four of those dishes already, but the blonde was making no motion to stop or turn around. Finally, Zelgadiss rose to his feet and quietly walked over. He picked up a spotless bowl and fingered it. The porcelain squeaked under his touch.

"If you keep washing these Gourry, you'll end up scraping off the shine."

His tall lover said nothing, only picked up another cup and began washing it.

"Gourry, would you please stop for a moment?"

"Why, Zel? You don't ever stop working." came his flat response.

Zel stood a bit dumbfounded as he watched Gourry turn his head to grab another glass, his long ponytail swinging from behind and striking Zel's hands lightly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Take it how you want it."

"No, Gourry, I want you to tell me what that's supposed to mean."

"I mean, Zel, that you never stop working and I don't see why I have to either."

The detective frowned and moved the next dish out of Gourry's reach. The blonde was forced to look at the detective, his mouth stretched in a thin line.

"I haven't worked all night, Gourry." Zel responded cooly.

Gourry maneuvered his hand to grab the dish from Zel and put it in the sink.

"Funny, Zel, I would have called you taking out all your paperwork and sitting at the table talking to the station work."

"That wasn't work, Gourry, that was them making sure they had everything in order."

"Oh, so now 'everything in order,' is not work, huh?"

Zelgadiss could feel the twinge in the back of his head. He had already had a long night, and this kind of conversation, wherever it was going, was starting to give him a headache.

"Do you expect me to just leave them hanging when the case is so close to being finished?"

Gourry set the dish down and finally turned to face Zelgadiss. The chimera hadn't noticed until now how tired his young lover looked. Gourry pushed some of his gold bangs from his eyes.

"I don't expect anything from you, Zel. I know that you live to work. I've never thought otherwise, but I would like just once for you not to bring it home with you."

The ice like tone in Gourry's voice sent a chill up Zel's spine, but also ignited his temper. He was normally good at keeping himself steady, but he had had a hard day, and Gourry was really adding to the fire.

"Oh, so next time the station calls me, I'm just supposed to hang up on them?" Zel retorted back. He hadn't realized how slicing his words were until he saw Gourry flinch and turn back to the sink.

"No, detective, I expect you to use your logic. You know, I was really foolish today. Some part of me thought that somehow you'd remember this stupid holiday today."

Zelgadiss swallowed back the lump that formed in his throat suddenly. Yes, he had realized too late that it was Valentine's Day, but Gourry had never made any indication that he had cared.

"Gourry...It was a long day at work..."

"That's right, Zel, it's always a long day at work, isn't it?! Well, for once, do you know how I feel?! You drag your damn job home with you every night!!! I was hoping that tonight, just tonight, you would have remembered something outside of your job and have cared!!!" the blond exploded at Zel.

The chimera stood silent in front of Gourry. He felt another lump catch in his throat as Gourry stared at him, his visible sapphire filling with tears, his face drawn and almost swallow.

"Gourry..." Zel could barely get out.

"I don't know if I can do this any more, Zel..." Gourry whispered softly. "I know you love me...but I just don't know how much any more..."

Zel's eyes grew wide at those words and he could almost feel the blood rush out of his face.

"Gourry, please, you don't know what you're saying..."

"No, Zel, I think I do know what I'm saying..." his young lover whispered again. "And if it makes it easier for you, then I'll let you have your job..."

Zel felt his knees go weak. The memories of Nanami and him having the same battles before she had thrown her diamond ring at him and walked out came flooding to his mind. He felt dizzy and nauseated all at the same time.

"G-gourry..."

"I...I just...I need...I..."

Gourry didn't finish his sentence. He pushed himself past Zel, and ran out of the kitchenette and up the staircase to their bedroom. Zel saw, heard, and felt the door slam. The reverberations echoed down through him, seeming to meld into his feet and hold him there.

"No...no, come back..." Zel's mind pleaded, though his mouth didn't open at all.

(But) don't you worry baby,
I'm at right in front your door,
So don't cry on more,
Love is on the way to you...

It was eleven p.m. and Zel was staring at his glass of scotch that he had started the night out with. It was barely drank, but just the thought of putting something into his stomach made him want to vomit. He could still feel the door slam pulsing through his veins. The ache had seeped into his head, and he felt as though his mind was on fire.

He and Gourry had been in arguements before, but this was a fight, and Zel knew it. Picking up the glass from the table, he stared through the prismatic colors that the light created. Holding it up higher, the light refracted the room around him, and the image of their bedroom door was caught by the glass, creating multiple mirror images of it. Zel immediately sat the glass down, feeling the air catch in his lungs again.

"He's going to leave me...He's going to leave 'cuz I can't get it together..." Zel numbly thought. "He never asks for anything and I can't even remember a frickin' holiday...All I can remember is work..."

The chimera shifted in his chair, the sick feeling rising into his throat. He wondered if he was imagining or if he could taste bile in his mouth. Zelgadiss closed his eyes and all he could see was Gourry walking out the door, his blonde ponytail brushing the door handle as he said good-bye for the last time.

"No...No...not this time...I am not letting it happen again..." Zel growled to himself.

The detective opened his eyes slowly, tears that he didn't know were there sliding down his cheeks. He had always been gutsy in the face of danger, but had always ran away from his own pitfalls. Dragging himself to his feet, he forced himself up the first step of the staircase. He couldn't remember when his own feet seemed so heavy, but he forced himself to push forward. Finally, he reached the top step. He felt as though his heart was pounding out of his chest and it seemed hard for him to breathe. Reaching out, he took ahold of the handle and turned. The door slowly opened.

Put down your fear,
Try to get back to the light,
Cause I'm right there,
New days are there to be unfold...

The room was dim aside from the small red candle that Gourry always lit when he was still awake. The detective swallowed again, the act seeming to put strain on every muscle in his body. He could see his lover lying in bed, huddled under their sheets and navy blue comforter. Zel forced his feet to move and entered the room, closing the door silently behind him. He shakily made it to the side of their bed. Gourry made no motion to turn over or to even acknowledge that Zelgadiss was in the room.

The chimera didn't sit down. He just gazed down at the bed, studying Gourry's form turned away from him. The long gold ponytail rested on Zel's side of the bed.

Zelgadiss was scared. He would never openly admit it, but he was more terrified right then then he ever was on the streets. He was being forced into facing his own personal demons on the day that was supposed to represent love. He knew that he had to do this, or lose everything he had come to value.

Easing his shoes and socks off, the detective slipped into the bed with Gourry, and shaking, placed his hand on Gourry's shoulder. He didn't know what he was expecting. Part of him waited for Gourry to pull away and tell him to leave. That was the part that was devouring his thoughts right then. Forcing all of his will into his hand, he calmed himself to try and keep it steady.

"Gourry?..." Zel asked softly.

He saw his young lover shift some under the blanket, and the comforter slid down, exposing Gourry's face, cheeks still red from tears. Zelgadiss felt his heart sink, and everything in him felt like shattered glass. He had never, even when they disagreed, ever made Gourry cry. Slowly, Gourry shifted to turn to lie on his back to look up at Zel, his beautiful sapphire blue eyes tinted pink from the salt in his tears. Zelgadiss gazed down at him, and knew that the same saline tinted water was sliding down his own cheeks.

"...yes?..." Gourry barely choked out.

Zelgadiss wanted to say a thousand things right then. He wanted to make amends for every single thing he may have said or done. He wanted the world to stop and rewind, so he could fix his mistakes. But, none of those things came to him. Only a few simple words left his lips.

"I'm sorry...please...don't leave me..."

Zelgadiss felt his bottom lip tremble as new tears came sliding out of Gourry's eyes. He didn't know how to judge the reaction, what to say as the blonde began crying again. He waited then for Gourry to ask him to leave, or just to get up and walk out. But, to his shock, Gourry sat up partially and wrapped his arms around Zel's neck, burying his face in his nape.

"...all I wanted you to say was you were sorry..." Gourry whispered between his tears.

A strange relief mixed with joy and pain slid through Zel's being. He wrapped his arms tightly around Gourry's waist, pulling back to find those lips the thought he'd never kiss again. He closed his eyes tightly, focusing only on the mouth that was pressed warm and sweet against his cool, stone touched lips. Breaking the kiss gently and slowly, he opened his eyes and was surprised to see Gourry smiling a little at him.

"I...I never thought you'd say you were sorry, Zel...I...I didn't...I mean, I know you were busy...and I know it's a stupid holiday...I..."

"No, Gourry...Don't say you're sorry about this..."

Zelgadiss silenced Gourry with a kiss, pressing his lover back into the bed. The blond didn't stop Zel, only twined his long fingers through some of Zel's wire hair, stroking it slowly. The chimera let his tongue explore every small avenue of Gourry's mouth, trying to memorize and rememorize every small part, for fear that somehow he would still lose it.

Gourry gasped softly as Zel finally relinqushed his lips in favor of tasting his long slender neck, placing small kisses and licks, and an occassional bite along the pathway. Gourry trembled and whimpered softly, turning his head enough to trap the tip of Zel's ear with his mouth and suck slowly on it. The detective shivered, his need growing not as much from physical, but emotional desire to be part of Gourry.

The older man continued to kiss down Gourry's throat, pausing enough to open the top button of the blonde's button up shirt. Gourry moaned a soft sound of frustation.

"...Just take it off, Zel..." Gourry whispered and shifted underneath the chimera.

Normally, Zel would have been a tease and waited forever, but this was not the night to do so. He quickly undid the buttons of the shirt, fumbling on the last one and cursing to himself. He pushed the material away from his lover's chest and Gourry sat up enough to allow Zel to pull it off his arms and toss it to the floor. Zelgadiss slid his arms around Gourry's back as he relaxed down again, using the power in his limbs to lift Gourry up slightly, making the blonde's back arch to his advantage.

Zel leaned down, sliding his tongue over the slightly arched chest, creating smooth wet paths as he moved up and down. The blonde groaned, cradling Zel's head with his hands, shuddering as Zel's fingers played along the arc shape in his spine, tracing up and down slowly.

"...oh gods, Zel..."

Hearing his name slide from Gourry's lips thrilled Zel incredibly. The thought that he'd never hear that voice again tinged him with a drive to please Gourry to the point of exhaustion. He captured one of the nipples and bit down gently, suckling slowly. Gourry shifted and made a strained sound, his hips rising to touch Zel's. The chimera distantly remembered that he was still wearing his clothes from work. The thought of anything involving work now, including his clothes, disgusted him. He slowly slid his hands from behind Gourry's back and let the blonde lay down again. His lover almost cried as Zel slid off him, but Zel gently cooed to him.

"It's okay, wildfire, I just got to get out of these damn things..."

Zelgadiss didn't waste time. He quickly unsnapped his suspenders and undid his slacks, pushing them down in one quick swoop. He yanked off his necktie and then unbuttoned his shirt part ways before cussing again and tearing off the last two buttons. Some part of him suddenly had the urge to set the clothes on fire. But any thoughts were diminished as he felt a set of hands touching his hand. He turned to look at Gourry, their gazes meeting slowly. Both of them held each other immobile, just watching each other silently. Finally, unable to be seperated any longer, Zelgadiss crawled back on the bed.

"Sit up..." Gourry said softly.

Zel didn't have the headboard to rest against, but he sat up, making sure he stayed far enough away from the base of the bed for fear of sliding off. Gourry crawled over to him, and on all fours, kissed him deeply. Zel took the advantage of Gourry's kiss to unsnap the tie in his hair, letting all the gold fall over Gourry's back and waist. The blonde's lips left his and before Zel could say anything, he was being engulfed by a hot mouth and soft tongue.

"Ah...Gourry..." he barely managed to whisper.

Gourry didn't pull back, only pressed himself down against the mattress, rubbing his hips slowly back and forth in time with his own tongue. Zel's head fell back for a moment, just focusing on the feeling. He then opened his eyes and watched Gourry's body moving back and forth. Though Gourry's mouth was incredible, it wasn't enough for tonight.

The detective wet two of his fingers and braced himself up on his knees, not disengaging Gourry from him, but leaned over Gourry, letting on hand slide down Gourry's back until he was almost bent on top of Gourry. Bracing himself by gripping ahold of the sheet with his free hand, Zel traced the curve of Gourry's backside before sliding one finger inside.

The blonde made a whimpering noise underneath Zel, and the chimera could feel the immediate pull on himself, and soft strong suction. He bit back the urge to groan and worked his finger in and out slowly before pressing a second one inside. Something about the way their bodies were positioned, with Gourry between his legs and him still over Gourry brought Zelgadiss to the near breaking point. He forced down the climax rising up and drew out his fingers, leaning back and pulling Gourry's head gently from him.

"...Please, Zel...Let me..." Gourry almost pleaded.

"Ssh, wildfire, I want to come somewhere else than that sweet mouth of yours." Zel replied against Gourry's lips. The blonde shuddered and laid back on the bed. Zel slowly slid up to lay beside him. Gourry swallowed and turned to his side, the chimera spooning up against his back. He massaged the wet saliva slowly into himself. Kissing the back of Gourry's neck, he pressed his tip against the tight opening. The blonde let his eyes flutter shut, and Zel pressed himself in.

Gourry let the shiver of pain tinged pleasure ride up his spine. He moaned out loud as Zel raised up one of his long legs and to allow for him to thrust better. Using his arm as a brace, Zel used that hand to grip Gourry and stroke him slowly. The young man whimpered and shuddered, his hips rocking into Zel's hand, the position providing an avenue for him to touch himself and Zelgadiss. Reaching down, Gourry laced his fingers with Zel's and thrust into their combined fingers.

Zel didn't hold back the sounds of pleasure as he often did. He was a relatively quiet lover in comparison to Gourry, something he had picked up when him and Nanami had stared sleeping together when they were sixteen. But, he didn't care tonight. He groaned softly in Gourry's ear, punctuating it with his real name as well as Gourry's pet name. His hips pushed harder and stronger against Gourry, making the leg that was raised shake slightly.

Gourry sobbed out loud, not even realizing he was begging Zel for more. He hungrily pressed forward and back, until his senses couldn't distinguish between his thrusts and Zel's. He felt the chill slide through his veins and the wonderful hotness that followed. Gourry's hips snapped and Zel could feel the strength of his climax press into him. Unable to stop the reaction, he groaned and released hot and fast inside of Gourry's body. Only a moment later, his fingers and Gourry's were coated with liquid heat. Both men trembled for a moment before their bodies collapsed down into the mattress again.

Neither one moved, both listening to the other breathe. Slowly, Zel managed to push himself up enough to kiss Gourry's shoulder. The blonde sighed softly and reached back, massaging Zel's hips that were still pressed against him. Nuzzling the back of Gourry's neck, Zelgadiss placed a slow series of kisses before resting his head at the base.

"Am I forgiven?..." Zel whispered.

There was a silence from Gourry that for a moment made Zelgadiss's stomach twist. Then softly, he felt Gourry shift back against him.

"You're alway forgiven, Zel...I love you and that's part of being in a relationship..."

"Love you too, wildfire..."

They laid there in quiet contentment and then Zel kissed the back of Gourry's neck again.

"Next time, we celebrate Valentine's Day like normal people."

"We're not normal, Zel..." Gourry quipped, though there was a light humor in his voice.

"Okay, then we'll show everyone what a scam this holiday is..."

"Agreed..." Gourry said softly.

Both men laid silent, and then Gourry started to giggle softly, and before either one knew it, they were both laughing for no apparent reason at all.

We two are one hold on tight,
In the lay of the light I'll be there for you,
We two are one hold on tight,
The dawn will come,
And I'll be there for you...

THE END...HAPPY FREAKIN' VALENTINE'S DAY....

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