Friday,
February 22nd, 2002:
So I'm walking downtown today, outside the Eaton Centre to be exact, when
I come across some people gathered around a girl and a guy, both of which
were handing out leaflets and preaching something about the bible. Normally
I wouldn't pay any attention to this because I'm not a religious person,
but when I heard and saw people laughing over their comments, I had to
get in on it.
I got myself a leaflet, of which I've since read on the internet, so I
have no idea if this is their original work or if in fact they plagiarize
it and just felt like preaching that day or something.
In essence, this is what it was about...
Dr.
Laura Schlessinger, some sleazy woman doctor that has a radio call-in
show that I've never sat and listened to, but heard it contains more crap
than your septic tank.
She had said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
These two people were there to refute this statement and had a few of
their own in response to this in the form of a letter they mailed out
to her.
The letter read as follows...
Dear
Dr. Laura:
Thank
you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned
a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many
people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle,
for example, I simply remind them that
Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ..... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific
laws and how to follow them.
1.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim
the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2.
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for
her?
3.
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period
of menstrual cleanliness - Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
5.
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6.
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination
- Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this?
7.
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8.
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.
How should they die?
9.
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10.
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends
to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev. 24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we
do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I
know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
and unchanging.
Your
devoted disciple and adoring fan.
James
I thought that was quite amusing and I too would like to know the answers
to these wonderful little questions.
If anyone out there does have the answers, please let me know? |