Friday, November 30th, 2001: How dare you call me that? What do you take me for? Don't let me come over there and slap you silly!
It's another rainy day here in the center of the universe. For those of you that don't know where that is, look on your map…near the middle of your map, you'll see my picture…that's where I am right now…got it? Yeah, whatever.
So, anyways…I have no idea what that just said…I don't care and I couldn't be bothered to figure it out.
I'm in need of some serious Nyquil/Dayquil/Tylenol/Nitrous Oxide/crack…you know, anything that will knock me out for 20 days in a row.
I was caught up in a round of boxing, only it wasn't a round ring, it was a box, almost with the bank tag of Ing on it…yeah, from Ing Direct.
Hmmm, I just thought of something…if I ordered some documents or checks from Ing Direct, and it comes in a box, and they stamp Box on the box, then stamp Ing on the box, wouldn't that be funny? Hahahahahaha!
Next order of business is a thought from last night. Who watches that show Temptation Island? What's that all about? You send 4 couples to an island, split them up and tell them to go get wild and break up your relationship by giving into temptation with sluts or the male version of them? I could try to think of a name or the name for the equivalent, but my head is so foggy, it reminds me of that time I was bobsleighing down the track in Calgary and hit this fat cow that was walking through the venue. That really rang my bell, even though I did hit the bell hanging from around the cow's neck. Big Ben would have been proud. No, not the horse Big Ben, the other Big Ben in London. No, not the London in Ontario, the London in England.
Ummm, that was a little off track, don't ya think? I was talking about…oh, Temptation Island. Yeah, what's the deal with that? They say it's to see if the couples resist temptation, but what good is it if one couple or half of a couple doesn't resist? Do the producers feel proud about breaking up a relationship? I'm sure they'll say it's a way for the other partner in that relationship to see the true soul of the person they planned to be with for who knows how long. But hey, why even attempt to dilly around with that in the first place?
Anyhow, that's something I don't get and don't plan to get anytime in my future lifetime. Or something to that effect. You know what I mean, righty oh? Or is that tally ho? No, tally ho is something they do in Amsterdam's red-light district, they walk down the street and tally hos…hahahahaha! I crack myself up sometimes!
You're probably thinking I'm drunk or high or something, don't you? Well guess again! I'm the same cuddly crackerjack I've always been!
So, want some more? If no, go away (but come back). If yes, here goes...
I hate banks...this time it's because I go to the ATM to withdraw some money, only this time, I see they replaced the old machine with a new one. Snazzy, or so I thought. So I slip in my card, enter my PIN, choose my account, then choose the withdraw option. At that point, I get a message saying a service charge will be applied to the transaction. I was like WTF? I said to hell with that and canceled the transaction. I went to the other machine next to the bank inside and did what I had to do without extra fees.
If there weren't any cameras around keeping an eye on the machine, I would have gone back (not tonight cuz I don't have the strength) and smashed the damn thing and I would have left a note (disguised of course and fingerprint free) saying "Here's your damn service charge...Merry Christmas...signed: S. Clause).
Am I violent?
Nah, I'm still the same calm crackerjack you've all come to know and love!
Anyways (I've said that a lot today/yesterday, haven't I?), I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm everything!
What are you looking at?
I hate you too!
PS. I'm sad that George Harrison passed away last night =(