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Friday,
November 30th, 2001:
How dare you call me that? What do you take me for?
Don't let me come over there and slap you silly!
It's another rainy day here in the center of the universe. For those
of you that don't know where that is, look on your map…near the middle
of your map, you'll see my picture…that's where I am right now…got it?
Yeah, whatever.
So, anyways…I have no idea what that just said…I don't care and
I couldn't be bothered to figure it out.
I'm in need of some serious Nyquil/Dayquil/Tylenol/Nitrous Oxide/crack…you
know, anything that will knock me out for 20 days in a row.
I was caught up in a round of boxing, only it wasn't a round ring,
it was a box, almost with the bank tag of Ing on it…yeah, from Ing Direct.
Hmmm, I just thought of something…if I ordered some documents or
checks from Ing Direct, and it comes in a box, and they stamp Box on the
box, then stamp Ing on the box, wouldn't that be funny? Hahahahahaha!
Next order of business is a thought from last night. Who watches
that show Temptation Island? What's that all about? You send 4 couples
to an island, split them up and tell them to go get wild and break up
your relationship by giving into temptation with sluts or the male version
of them? I could try to think of a name or the name for the equivalent,
but my head is so foggy, it reminds me of that time I was bobsleighing
down the track in Calgary and hit this fat cow that was walking through
the venue. That really rang my bell, even though I did hit the bell hanging
from around the cow's neck. Big Ben would have been proud. No, not the
horse Big Ben, the other Big Ben in London. No, not the London in Ontario,
the London in England.
Ummm, that was a little off track, don't ya think? I was talking
about…oh, Temptation Island. Yeah, what's the deal with that? They say
it's to see if the couples resist temptation, but what good is it if one
couple or half of a couple doesn't resist? Do the producers feel proud
about breaking up a relationship? I'm sure they'll say it's a way for
the other partner in that relationship to see the true soul of the person
they planned to be with for who knows how long. But hey, why even attempt
to dilly around with that in the first place?
Anyhow, that's something I don't get and don't plan to get anytime
in my future lifetime. Or something to that effect. You know what I mean,
righty oh? Or is that tally ho? No, tally ho is something they do in Amsterdam's
red-light district, they walk down the street and tally hos…hahahahaha!
I crack myself up sometimes!
You're probably thinking I'm drunk or high or something,
don't you? Well guess again! I'm the same cuddly crackerjack I've always
been!
So, want some more? If no, go away (but come back). If yes, here
goes...
I hate banks...this time it's because I go to the ATM to withdraw some
money, only this time, I see they replaced the old machine with a new
one. Snazzy, or so I thought. So I slip in my card, enter my PIN, choose
my account, then choose the withdraw option. At that point, I get a message
saying a service charge will be applied to the transaction. I was like
WTF? I said to hell with that and canceled the transaction. I went to
the other machine next to the bank inside and did what I had to do without
extra fees.
If there weren't any cameras around keeping an eye on the machine, I would
have gone back (not tonight cuz I don't have the strength) and smashed
the damn thing and I would have left a note (disguised of course and fingerprint
free) saying "Here's your damn service charge...Merry Christmas...signed:
S. Clause).
Am I violent?
Nah, I'm still the same calm crackerjack you've all come to know and love!
Anyways (I've said that a lot today/yesterday, haven't I?), I'm tired,
I'm sleepy, I'm everything!
What are you looking at?
I hate you too!
PS. I'm sad that George Harrison passed away last night =(
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