Failing that stick him in the attic, it's a bit drafty and may be a bit batty, but he'll manage. If he starts to nick your eyeliner and begins to listen to Bauhaus and Specimen, toss him and get a new rivethead.

Better yet, try the garage. They'll worship you and have a field day with all them power tools!

 

- Find him a bed of nails to sleep on.

 

- Take him out on regular jaunts to the army surplus, hardware, music shops, and any rummage sales that catch his fancy.

 

- If he drives his car will be held together with duct tape and emit various noxious gases and play "Jesus Built My Hot - Rod" on an endless loop. It may take a while to start up, so bring some crosswords or knitting for the wait.

Be prepared to listen to him talk about his car for hours.

 

- Be on the watch for any bizarre behaviour involving house hold appliances and electronics. Try to avoid leaving him alone with them to prevent such behaviours.

 

- Try to discourage him from gnawing on electric cords and sticking things in outlets, you don't want a crispy boy!!!

Thump him upside the head with a rolled up newspaper and yell "NO!" very loudly. Remember to do  this only while he's in the act, or he'll never learn.

If he stops gnawing on electric cords and sticking thrings in outlets reward him with a Feindflug CD or a Fritz Lang film.

 

- Feed him lots and lots of soylent green, raw or burnt steak, shrapnel and batteries. Make sure you leave him enough vodka, lighter fluid and petrol in case he gets thirsty. If he's good, splurge on a Mercedes or BMW hubcap for him to gnaw on.

 

- Try to discourage him from smoking around anything  flammable (this includes your goff friends as well as any petrol you have around.)

 

- Do not be surprised to discover all your missing appliance, and hardware catalogs in his room, just be glad he's not getting with the dishwasher...