"Wrong anime, stupid!"
"Oh, sorry. Look at the title of this episode. It should be exciting!"
"Stop being so perky. As far as I'm concerned, the biggest emergency is fixing my hair."
"I think the casting is a bit wrong for this show..."
"What?! I make a perfect main character!"
"Oh, of course you do."
"Cut the sarcasm, James! Rekka... Shien!"
"NOW who's confusing anime?"
"You're overall confused. You're acting a lot more aggressive than you should."
"That's because I'm Misty too, remember? I make a cuter girl than you."
"I have a feeling I know what the emergency will be in this episode. I'll send YOU to the ER room!"
Role Reversal
by Leto
Episode 2: Pokemon Emergency!
The paralysis eventually wore off, and Jessie and James wearily shuffled into Viridian City the next night.
"I have to take Ekans to the Pokemon Center," said Jessie.
"It did get pretty battered in the fight against the Spearow," agreed James.
"It got more battered after I stopped being paralysed and taught it a lesson for messing with me!"
"Ssha," agreed Ekans weakly.
"Well, now that I've regained MY health I'm going to teach you a lesson for stealing my bike!"
"I didn't steal it. I couldn't get away on it, remember?"
James sweatdropped. "Well, you paralysed me and I stayed all night with my hair getting filthy."
"Ah, it already sucked."
James went big and scary. "DON'T... CRITICISE... MY... HAIR."
Jessie pulled down her lower eyelid and stuck out her tongue.
"Don't insult me!"
Jessie ran off, with Ekans in her arms.
"Stupid girl keeps running away."
***
Jessie was stopped by a police officer.
"Excuse me young lady, I don't recognise you," snapped the policewoman.
"That's because we've never met before. Now get out the way, I have to get my Ekans to the Pokemon Center."
"Your Ekans, is it?"
"That's what I just said. Now get out of my way, I hate cops."
She raised an eyebrow. "You hate cops, do you? And, may I ask, what gives you reason to hate cops?"
"They're bloody annoying, like you!"
Jenny facefaulted. "Well, I'm different to other cops. I'm committed to my -"
"You're also paranoid and jump to conclusions. And you're not different at all. You look just like your sister in Pallet."
"I'll need some proof of identification," said Jenny, ignoring the insults, "we can't let Pokemon thieves into our city."
"I'm already IN the city, and this is MY Pokemon."
"Prove it."
"Ekans, GLARE."
Ekans glared at Jenny, and she froze in place, paralysed.
"See, it is my Pokemon! It followed my orders! Catch you later, Jenny! Hahaha."
Jessie ran off with Ekans.
Jenny sweatdropped, a bit flustered. She couldn't move at all....
***
"Heal my Ekans!" ordered Jessie, kicking the door to the Pokemon Center open.
"Goodness, it's in bad shape," said Joy, with concern.
"No kidding, that's why I brought it here."
Jessie was becoming increasingly fed up with everyone else's too-obvious and cliched statements. She dumped Ekans onto the hospital's desk.
"Do your job, Joy."
"What have you done to this poor creature?"
"*I* didn't do anything... besides beat it to a pulp... er, that is, uh... just heal it already."
Joy sighed and picked up the Ekans.
***
Jessie sat in the waiting room, kicking her feet boredly.
"Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up," she muttered over and over.
While she was waiting, someone burst through the door of the Pokemon Center amidst dramatic music.
"I WILL AVENGE MY FALLEN PRIDE!"
There was a pause, then James facefaulted as he realised Jessie wasn't even listening.
"You keep following me," said Jessie presently, "I think you must be in love with me."
James facefaulted yet again.
"Don't be ridiculous! Crazy woman who resembles my fiancee! You must be her sister, so I have to get revenge on you."
Jessie sweatdropped. "That's a stupid reason."
"I'll make your life miserable by tagging along with you on your Pokemon and putting you down all the time!"
"You are already," snapped Jessie, "and if you can't stop saying stupid things I'll hit you over the head again."
Behind them, they heard the sound of chimes, and Joy walked out carrying Ekans (with its tail in a bandage).
"Your Ekans is a bit weak, but it should be okay," said Nurse Joy encouragingly.
Jessie smiled at her in some relief. "Oh, that's great." Hot tempered though she was, she didn't want harm to come to her first Pokemon who had defended her.
She took the snake from the nurse's arms, and was about to say something when they were interrupted by a loud crash.
"What was that?"
Two Pokeballs fell through the Pokemon Center ceiling, and from them, two Pokemon appeared.
"Geodude!"
"Hya!"
"Who's there?" asked Jessie, instinctively crouching into a fighting stance.
"You don't know who we are..."
"So just hold on while we make the introductions!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Misty!"
"Brock!"
"Team Omanyte blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"TogeBRIIII!"
Jessie and James blinked at the newcomers in some confusion.
"Team Omanyte? What the..."
"Omanyte is both rock and water type, our specialties," explained Brock.
"Well, explain the outfits."
They wore white outfits with a large red "O" on the front.
"They're modified from Team Rocket's uniform! We're agents of the great Team Rocket!" Misty said it in a proud voice.
Jessie and James looked at each other. "Who's Team Rocket?" they asked in unison.
Misty and Brock facefaulted. "POKEMON THIEVES!" they shouted, going big and scary. Jessie and James cringed.
"If you're thieves, why don't you steal some decent costumes?" asked Jessie.
Misty pulled out a metal fan and smacked Jessie over the head. "Don't be stupid. Anyway, we're going to steal all the Pokemon in this Pokemon Center! Staryu, go for it!"
"Geodude, trash this place until you find the Pokeballs!"
Joy watched in distress as the two Pokemon started smashing things.
"Quick you two, come to a safe place," she hissed at Jessie and James. She dragged them into a back room.
"We have to stop them," said Jessie, with resolve. "She hit me, I won't stand for that."
"Right," agreed James.
Geodude started smashing its stone body against the door to the room they were in.
"Quick, you two," urged Nurse Joy, "take these Pokeballs and try them out. You can fight with them, since your own are still recovering, Jessie."
Geodude broke through the door and glared at them all. Team Omanyte appeared behind it.
"Stay back!" warned Jessie. "I'll fight you! My first Pokemon battle! Pokeball, go!"
From the Pokeball appeared the epitome of Pokemon strength...
"Karp, kar karp," sputtered the Pokemon, flopping around on the floor.
"How'd I know that was going to happen," muttered Jessie.
Misty started howling with laughter. "That's the one water Pokemon I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole! Staryu, go!"
"Next Pokeball, go!" said Jessie.
A Diglett came out. Jessie slapped her forehead with one hand.
"This is ridiculous. At least my Spearow would have a chance against a Staryu. I'll try that."
James said "I'll just try my Pokeballs first. Pokeball, go!"
A huge Venusaur appeared.
"That's more like it!" cheered James.
Jessie sighed a mushroom. "Why couldn't I have that luck."
"Kill 'em, Venusaur!" encouraged James.
Venusaur, as it had nothing better to do, obeyed him, and sent Team Omanyte 'splashing off' over the horizon...
***
James was singing something that sounded vaguely like "Lucky Lucky" as Nurse Joy started lavishing thanks upon them.
"Uh, actually, I think you could've just as easily done what we did yourself," said Jessie, finally, becoming fed up.
"Oh. Yeah."
Nurse Joy got a little sweatdrop. "Oh well, enjoy your Pokemon journeys, guys. You're heading to Viridian Forest next, right?"
"I guess so."
***
"Oh look, James! It's a Caterpie!" said Jessie. She looked around.
"James? James?"
She finally spotted him up a tree, looking down at the Caterpie fearfully.
"I thought guys were supposed to like bugs," she said, with a hint of a smirk.
He just shook his head.
"Oh well, a Pokemon's a Pokemon. I'll capture it."
"Why?"
"A trainer has to catch all potential Pokemon so they can become unbeatable!"
"Unbeatable... with a Caterpie? Hahahahahahaha!"
James laughed so hard he fell out the tree, right on top of the Caterpie.
"Oof!" He got up, very quickly, and kept his distance from the small Pokemon.
"Err?" The Caterpie was somewhat dazed.
"Great, thanks James," grinned Jessie, "you've saved me the hassle of having to weaken it! Pokeball, go!"
The Pokeball hurtled toward the Caterpie...
Suddenly the scene freezes, shudders slightly... and resumes playing, with the ball hitting the Caterpie and sucking it inside.
The ball thrashes around before pinging closed.
"Alright! I caught CATERPIE!"
"That's nice," said James, "now try catching a GOOD Pokemon. And get that bug out my face."
"It's inside a Pokeball," said Jessie, with a sweatdrop.
"It's still gross."
"Why do you hate bugs so much?"
"Um... uh..."
"Do you even have a reason?"
Jessie opened the Pokeball and put Caterpie on her arm.
"See, I think Caterpie is cute."
"I... don't think so," cringed James, picking up Ekans. "Even Ekans is cuter than that horrible thing."
Ekans rolled its eyes and muttered "shaa, kanss." (Thanks for the compliment.)
"Put that Caterpie back in its ball," said James, holding Ekans out in front of it warningly. "Or I'll sic Ekans on you!"
"Ekans would never hurt me!" snapped Jessie, "I'm its trainer!"
"Shaa," said Ekans ("sure it would"), before lunging at the redhead and biting a gloved hand.
Jessie grabbed her hand and cursed, but got the hint. Some Pokemon were just jealous.
"Ekans!" (Not jealous!)
What then?
"Ekans ekansss." (Dunno, just felt like biting her.)
Ah ha ha. And now, our heroes - if you can call them that - continue their journey into Viridian Forest. With Ekans, Spearow and Caterpie by her side, Jessie's sure to be unstoppable!
"Unstoppable, with a Caterpie?"
"You said that before! Shut up James!"
Ekans just rolled its orange eyes and hissed to itself that it wasn't by Jessie's side at all.
And now we'll leave them in this episode, having learnt important lessons about trust and friendship between trainer and Pokemon.
Jessie and James stared blankly. "Narrator, are you in your right mind?"
Just let me finish the episode. It's been a long day and I need a beer. Goodbye kids!