On Being in Bangkok. Part III
Being a Tourist
I was always proud of my ability to understand any English accent. Hey, I used to give advices to first level Chinese students at the International Student Centre of Seneca College. Apparently, I was wrong. Trying to understand Thai accent requires practice. On average, I could understand about forty percent of what I’ve been told. Any ESL (English as a Second Language) nation has something special in their accent. Thai can’t pronounce ‘sh’ in the beginning of a word. Instead, they say ‘ch’. So, it takes a while to guess that ‘chop’ is actually a ‘shop’ and ‘chow’ is a ‘show’. But since you constantly hear these two words, you’ll get the meaning pretty fast.
‘Chow’ is a particularly common word in some areas of Bangkok including Sukhumvit, the area where we stayed. I wonder what answer the ‘chow’ sellers expected from my husband asking him for a ‘chow’ in front of me. Well, they surely did not get the one they wanted. While wondering through the ‘live-chow’ area I discovered that many of them actually have menus of services offered. I would not dare posting the x-rated items from those menus, but I did not even know that many of those entries are physically possible. What is even more appalling that there are plenty male tourists from all other the world who do not see anything wrong with ‘enjoying’ the offered services.
Wondering around Bangkok you can’t miss beggars quietly sitting in the shade of bridges. They don’t ask; just silently wait for a donation.
Being a tourist takes you along the sites marked on a tourist map. For our dinner destination we picked “Cabbages and Condoms” – a restaurant started by Population and Community Development Association to support its reproduction clinic. The motto of the Association founder, former Thai’s Health Minister, Mechai Viravaidya, is "birth control should be as cheap as vegetables". Both institutions are inter-mixed together. Posters and information brochures remind you of the purpose of this place. At the end of the dinner you get a condom instead of traditional candy. On the way out check the store where you can find very alive-looking condoms’ bouquets. The last but not least – the food was great.
Being a tourist for me means palaces, museums, and temples. My better half usually runs to hide when I am in the ‘sight-seeing’ mood. Moving from one place to another in Bangkok is easy. For all complaints of local people, however justified, on the traffic jams, the infrastructure is very developed. Nicely air-conditioned sky train takes you along the main routs within minutes. Travelling above the ground make those trains a nice, and probably the cheapest, way to view the city.
If you want to travel where the train does not go, you can take a tuck-tuck. That is certainly an experience that a tourist can’t miss. Do you remember commercial with Pierce Brosnan where he takes a tuck-tuck in Bangkok? That is exactly how they drive! Taking tuck-tuck guarantees a-la-James-Bond experience flying through the maze of the alleyways of Bangkok: full-speed weasel through the traffic jam, no fear, just hold for your life!
Whatever mode of transportation you choose you will eventually end up in one of Bangkok’s marvellous temples. In order of my preference, I recommend Grand Palace, Emerald Buddha, Reclining Buddha, Wat Arun, and Golden Buddha. I did not particularly like the Golden Buddha, but it is very interesting to see five tons of gold in one place. In my mind it is another brownie point to Thai people, I can’t imagine this much gold remaining unmolested for any significant period of time in Russia. Though it would be quite difficult to move or dispose of it, so it actually might survive even there.
The Grand Palace takes the first place without any doubt. Temple after temple covered with statues, frescoes and mosaics with any type of Buddha imaginable looking somewhere in an abstract space. Even though most of the Buddhas are relatively new they have an aura of ancient traditions around them. The Emerald Buddha is an exception. It is really ancient. It is actually made out of jade but its beauty and age make it priceless.
Dropping my 108th coin in a metal vessel of a prayer row at the side of the Reclining Buddha I wished for return to this beautiful place.
You know when you are in Bangkok when:
• Your jaw is hitting the floor every five minutes;
• Your mouth is permanently open;
• Your eyes are permanently crossed from trying to look at all directions
simultaneously;
• You feel permanently high.
I have to say: it was a truly amazing experience.
©Lidia Bhaskar, 2003