The Mail Club at THE MAIL CLUB is a group of online/computer professionals who share their business opportunities and also have a weekly newsletter called the Eaglet. Membership is free and you can get more information at the web site.

PlanetAll, now 1 million strong and growing, is also free and can be joined by going to this URL -- PLANETALL . It is a great place to make business contacts, find old school or military pals, even a lost love. Many groups for almost every interest. You also get an email alias -- username@planetall.com

Six Degrees,6 DEGREES is another free to join contact group. They have BBS and email postings, and some great new features. 2 Million and growing.

Onelist, is another free program, in ways similar to newsgroups. It is free and easy to join, just go to ONELIST and register the email address where you'd like to receive your onelist mailings, and use their search function to find groups that interest you. There are many groups for business opportunities and MLM seekers, and if you have a website, or topics you'd like talk about or promote you can easily begin a onelist discussion group of your own. The following are lists I moderate:
SUBSCIRBE HOMETOWNS
SUBSCIRBE Sunny Side Business Directory announcements
SUBSCIRBE MAKING MONEY ONLINE
SUBSCIRBE WOMEN & MILITARY VETERANS
SUBSCIRBE SUNFLOWER CREATIONS
SUBSCIRBE ROBERT FULGHUM FANS & OTHER INSPIRATIONAL HUMOR WRITERS
SUBSCIRBE SPIRITUALITY, ALL FAITHS WELCOME
SUBSCIRBE WOMEN IN THE COMPUTER/INTERNET BUSINESS
Feel free to join any or all of these groups, while remembering to post to topic. You can join by clicking on the links above, or run the last word of the URL thru their search to find out the topic of the group, if it is not clear to you. All these groups have archives so you can also check them out.

I recently won a free vacation, via the contest located at ENTER CONTEST and this contest makes it possible to enter once per day per participating sponsoring site. You can find the sponsor bin from the main site. If you are a web site owner and see the value of having a free vacation contest banner at your web site, please email me for more information at EMAIL MARLENE. Having this contest banner on your site is a great way to build traffic to your site as well as build an email database of visitors to your site.

Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers (And expected hang-up times)

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you SURE COULD USE SOME MORE MONEY! Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back?" (10 seconds)

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" start to sniffle and say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, "my sciatica is acting up," "my dog just died," describe your recent surgery... Continue talking about your problems over their sales pitch. (4 minutes)

3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located, how do you spell that... (5 minutes)

4. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!!"(Assuming her name is Judy,) "Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" This will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from. (1 minute)

5. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up. (3 seconds if they know the Federal "3-No's" law, 2 minutes otherwise)

6. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" (15 seconds)

7. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?" (8 seconds)

8. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get back to the sales, just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger. (6 minutes)

9. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather?" (2 minutes)

10. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home. If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! I know HOW YOU FEEL!" (smiling, of course...) (1 minute)

11. When they ask for a specific person, get choked up, then tell them he/she just died and hang up sobbing. (12 seconds)

fowarded by Debra Miller

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips make your above the rest of us. Look at me...I'm me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?"

The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother."

(anonymous) listed at 1funnystory at onelist.

Quotes

Michael Pritchard Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

Look for a thing until you find it and you'll not lose your labor. (anon)

William Blake No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Dobie Gillis I don't have anything against work. I just figure, why deprive somebody who really loves it.

Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. Leonardo da Vinci (Rocketmail quote of the day)

Most of these quotes were taken from Moti8 and here's the subscription info... Those who do not yet receive this directly can send the message ** Motiv8 YOUR_EMAIL_ADDRESS to subscribe@netcreations.com Substitute your YOUR_EMAIL_ADDRESS for your email address and you'll start receiving daily announcements via email!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (WARNING)

**NOTE: I HAVE RECEIVED WORD THAT THIS MAYBE A HOAX! I AM STILL INCLUDING THIS IN CASE IT IS TRUE!!**

Please forward this! If you or anyone you know travels, warn them to be very careful...

THIS WAS IN MY IN-BOX AND THOUGHT I SHOULD SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE

True??????

THIS IS NOT A JOKE:

This guy went out last Saturday night to a party. He was having a good time, had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like himand invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed. She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink, and even got Involved with some other drugs (unknown which). The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone. He looked down at his chest, which had "CALL 911 OR YOU WILL DIE" written on it in lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub, so he picked it up and dialed. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was and that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling.

She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and she asked him to look himself over in the mirror. He did, and appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, only to find two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back in the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over.

Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened.

HIS KIDNEYS WERE STOLEN!!!

They are worth 10,000 dollars each on the black market. (I was unaware this even existed.) Several guesses are in order: The second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students, and it was not just recreational drugs he was given. Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on life support, awaiting a spare kidney.

The University of Texas in conjunction with Baylor University Medical Center is conducting tissue research to match the sophomore student with a donor. I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business travelers. This ring is well organized, well funded, has very skilled personnel, and is currently in most major cities and recently very active in New Orleans. The crime begins when a business traveler goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day.

A person in the bar walks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink. The last thing the traveler remembers until they wake up in a hotel room bath tub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that drink. There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and to call 911. A phone is on a small table next to the bathtub for them to call. The business traveler calls 911 who have become quite familiar with this crime. The business traveler is instructed by the 911 operator to very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel if there is a tube protruding from their lower back. The business traveler finds the tube and answers, "Yes." The 911 operator tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to help. The operator knows that both of the business traveler's kidneys have been harvested.

This is not a scam or out of a science fiction novel, it is real. It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful.

Sadly, this is very true. My husband is a Houston Firefighter/EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a fellow firefighter had this happen to her.

Skilled doctor's are performing these crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the Las Vegas area). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this. This story blew me away. I really want as many people to see this as possible, so please bounce this to whoever you can.

Michele Shafer - DML/Lab Administration 15151 N.W. 99th Street Alachua, Florida 32615 Tel. (904) 462-2148 Fax (904) 462-1505

Is this not one of the scariest things you have ever heard of?

PLEASE forward this to everyone you know.

Take care, Marlene Jones @ Sunflower Creations

**NOTE: AS I SAID BEFORE THE ANNOUNCEMENT -- THIS HAS BEEN SAID TO BE A HOAX. APPARENTLY THERE WAS A 'B' GRADE MOVIE WITH THIS THEME. I LEFT THIS IN THE UPDATE BECAUSE THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW RUMORS START ANYWHERE. APPARENTLY A US REPRESENTATIVE RECENTLY FELL PREY TO THIS TYPE OF THING AND BEGAN THE 'BOB HOPE IS DEAD' RUMOR.**

Contests & Fun on the WWW Contests & Games -- LIST OF CONTESTS ON THE WEB (ALSO GAMES & FUN STUFF!)

Well, folks, thanks for taking time to read this issue. If you are Looking for business opportunities, or if you'd like one listed next issue, see the following... If you have enjoyed this issue, just send me an email -- EMAIL ME with Subscribe SFC Update in the subject line.