-[a dark secret]-

[Setting the Tendo dojo where currently the only residents that are home 
are Kasumi, Nodoka, Ranma and Akane]

Nodoka: .... [Sipping some tea] so Akane how was your day

Akane: [distractedly] oh fine

Nodoka: anything wrong

Akane: Ranma's been in the bathroom an awfully long time

Nodoka: ...[looking concerned] now that you mention it he has [gets up] ...  
Lets go see what the problem is ok

[later outside the bathroom]

Akane: [yelling] everything all right in their Ranma

Ranma-chan: [from inside the bathroom] ....[sounding very ill] no ... and 
leave me alone 

[Ranma-chan can be heard throwing up]

Nodoka: ....  Something's very wrong ...Ranma we're coming in

[Nodoka and Akane enter to find a very sick Ranma-chan throwing up into the 
bathtub]

Nodoka: ...[sounding very concerned] son, are you ok

Akane: [holding Ranma's briefs] Nodoka I think I know what's wrong 

Nodoka: what

Akane: look [Akane hands Nodoka Ranma's briefs which are stained with 
blood]

Nodoka: ....[totally shocked] oh my!!

[Ranma-chan is just heard throwing up in the background]

Nodoka: ....[her mouth dry] ....... Ranma do you know

[Ranma-chan just nods as she continues to look away]

Ranma-chan: I can't even change back until this stops [throws up]

Akane: ....Ran...

Ranma-chan: so I guess I'm an even bigger pervert now right Akane [throws 
up]

Akane: I'm so sorry Ranma

Nodoka: how long

Ranma-chan: ever since I got the curse ... I guess you 2 never expected 
this hun [throws up] 

[at this time Kasumi enters with some pills]

Kasumi: I guess they found out Ranma [gives Ranma the pills]

Ranma-chan: thanks Kasumi as usual you’re a life saver

Akane: you've known about this Kasumi

Kasumi: who else would Ranma go to little sister

[Kasumi leaves]

Nodoka: why didn't you tell me

Ranma-chan: make a guess mom [eyes a bolt of cloth which contains a katana] 

Nodoka: [looks shameful] ... I released you from that stupid promise after 
I found out about your curse
 
Ranma-chan: then why do you still carry it

Nodoka: because it is my weapon just like Akane has her mallet

Akane: more importantly why didn't you tell me

Ranma-chan: ...[scowls].... Make a guess Akane ... you call me a pervert 
and an insensitive jerk ... yes I can be a total jerk sometimes but I'm no 
pervert ... for kami-sama's sake since I got the curse a naked woman 
excites me as much as a naked man ...[yells] in other words it doesn't ... 
even when I'm in my male form ... even shampoo jumping on top of me that 
one time when she was naked didn't get me excited and you have the nerve 
too call me a pervert when I can't even get excited 

Akane:....[crying] .....I'm ... sorry.....

Nodoka: ....  Is there any thing we can do

Ranma-chan: just leave me alone

[Akane and Nodoka leave]

[back in the dining room a few moments later]

Nodoka: ....  It would seem Ranma's as much of a man as a woman wouldn't it

Akane: and all this time I thought he was some kind of super hentai when he 
hasn't even ....

Nodoka: ... [pats Akane on the back] ... don't worry Akane

Akane: ...[cries] you don't understand I've called him a pervert daily ... 
I've always thought he was at least half as bad as Happosai ... but now 
that I know ... I mean by the end of his first day here I'd seen him naked 
in both forms and he had seen me to ... I thought for sure that at 
least ....

Nodoka: ....  Don't worry about it Akane ....[thinking] maybe if he 
understood his feminine side ....

[The next morning in Ranma's room Ranma wakes up to find a letter has been 
taped to his forehead]

Ranma: ... mail and at this time in the morning? [Ranma opens the letter 
and reads it] ..............[hears something just outside the door] Akane 
come here

[nervously Akane enters]

Ranma: listen Akane you didn't know so there's no reason to be sorry

Akane: but....

Ranma: No buts ok ... now let's go get some breakfast

[breakfast proceeds as usual with Ranma wolfing down his food at 500 miles 
an hour while Nodoka looks like she is contemplating something, Kasumi as 
always has a smile on her face, Akane on the other hand has no appetite 
whatsoever]

Ranma: [just finishing] thanks mom

Nodoka: no problem ...[turns to Akane] ... is everything ok Akane

Akane: [poking her food idly] yeah just fine

Nodoka: don't worry about Nabiki and your father will be back by the end of 
the month along with my husband

Akane: it's not that Aunt Nodoka 

Ranma: then what is it Akane

Akane: nothing, nothing at all [pushes her food towards Ranma] ... I'm just 
not hungry okay

[Akane leaves]

Nodoka: son

Ranma: I know mom I'm not totally dense

[later and Akane's room where Akane is crying on her bed when Ranma comes 
in]

Ranma: Akane stop crying

Akane: but

Ranma: snap out of it already I'm still me okay ...and if it makes you feel 
any better you can call me a baka or something

[Akane just starts crying even harder]

Ranma: please Akane stop crying

Akane: ... but

Ranma: Akane you didn't know so stop moping about it ... you un-cute tomboy

[at this Akane starts to cry even harder and gloms on to Ranma and starts 
to profess her love to a very confused Ranma]

Ranma: [with Akane still glomming on to him] ...[thinking] the un-cute 
tomboy line has always worked before ...[aloud] come on Akane let go of me 
your glomming on to me even worse than Shampoo does

[Akane releases Ranma]

Ranma: let's go for a walk okay

Akane: ok

[later that day Ranma and Akane are walking along with Ranma as usual on 
top of a fence while Akane walks along the ground]

Ranma: see Akane I told you a walk would be perfect 

Akane: ....  Yeah Ranma

[at this time shampoo is seen incoming]

Ranma: [flat on his back with shampoo glomming on to him] shampoo!!!

[At this time Akane goes nuclear but instead of pounding Ranma she pounds 
shampoo into orbit]

Akane: [mumbling] insensitive Amazon hussy

[Akane storms off in the direction of the dojo]

Ranma: [smiles] well at least her temper's back ........ hay Akane wait for 
me

-[a feminine Ranma? ....by Mothers orders!]-

[around noon Ranma returns to the dojo to hear Akane screaming]

Akane: [from inside the dojo] YOU WANT RANMA TO DO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ranma: [thinking] ... why am I not liking the sound of that

[a few moments later Ranma enters the dining room to find Akane sitting 
alone]

Ranma: ...hum Akane who were you yelling at

Akane: your mother ... I think your curse has finally made her flip

Ranma: hum ... do I even want to know

Akane: no ... but unfortunately she's making this a parental 
order ...[sighs] ...so please don't screen to loudly when you hear this ok

Ranma: okay but no promises

Akane: for the rest of the month she wants you to learn how to be a girl

[thud!!]

[Akane turns around to find Ranma has fainted]

Akane: well he took that better than I thought he would

[a few minutes later Ranma regains consciousness]

Ranma: ... you've got to be kidding Akane

Akane: no I'm not

Ranma: ... where's my mother

Akane: looking at your 'other' wardrobe I believe

Ranma: [gulps] ... I'm dead

[at this time Nodoka can be heard laughing from up stairs]

Ranma: scratch that I am so dead

[a few minutes later Nodoka comes downstairs with a tape measure and a 
bucket of water]

Ranma: [smiling] hi mom

Nodoka: [smiles at Ranma and then throws the bucket of water at him] ... 
Akane come here

Akane: [confused] ok

Nodoka: don't worry Akane I just need a few measurements

[after Nodoka has taken some measurements from Akane she does the same to 
Ranma-chan]

Nodoka: ... [looking at a piece of paper] ....  Just as I thought you two 
have identical measurements

[needless to say both Ranma-chan and Akane are surprised]

Nodoka: well not exactly identical but you two are within a half an inch of 
each other on all measurements ... but for practical purposes ......... 
Akane why don't you go pick out something tasteful

[Akane leaves]

Ranma-chan: [looking sheepish] ....

Nodoka: [smiles devilishly]... until the end of this month you are my 
daughter understand ...and no arguments ... I don't expect you to act like 
a lady but at least you can act like a certain un-cute tomboy

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] at least I'm on break [aloud and very 
indignantly] no skirts ok

Nodoka: Ranma!...

Ranma-chan: ... listen I have a real reason for that ... skirts are 
impossible to fight in ... and there's not a day that goes bye that I don't 
get into a fight

Nodoka: ....[smiles]....  It's a good thing your mother is a seamstress as 
well as a martial artist daughter [smiles] I'll go draw up the patterns for 
a few battle skirts

Ranma-chan: [totally confused as well as intrigued] battle skirts?!

Nodoka: yes ... I got sick and tired of ripping skirts all the time when I 
got into fights so I developed a battle skirt that the side seems come open 
when put under the stress of battle

Ranma-chan: and after battle

Nodoka: Velcro dear

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] ... even Akane will like this idea [aloud] well I 
guess I can't argue too much if it doesn't affect my battles

Nodoka: ...[yells] Akane bring my sewing kit

Akane: [from upstairs] ... ok aunt Nodoka!!

Nodoka: now Ranma do you know how to sew

Ranma-chan: yeah since I was six

Nodoka: ...[raising an eyebrow] I know Genma didn't teach you

Ranma-chan: I had to teach myself

Nodoka: so how good are you at it

Ranma-chan: I've managed to keep my limited wardrobe in fair condition

Nodoka: have you ever designed anything

Ranma-chan: never had the occasion too

Nodoka: try it some time ..  And no arguments about it being a woman's job 
men have designed clothes throughout history

Ranma-chan: ...hum okay

[at this time Akane comes downstairs with a full outfit complete with 
panties and a bra along with Nodoka's sewing kit]

Nodoka: [looking at the skirt] ...hum ... Akane hand me the seem splitter

Akane: why

Nodoka: I'm going to make some special alterations to this skirt if you 
don't mind

Ranma-chan: trust her Akane

[Akane hands Nodoka the seem splitter and Nodoka promptly uses it to split 
open the skirts two side seems]

Nodoka: [pulls the kit over to her] ... ok now for the button

[Nodoka quickly and masterfully attaches a button to each side of the skirt 
where she split the seem]

Nodoka: ...[grabs a needle and thread and starts sewing Velcro on to the 
skirt] ....

Akane: what's she doing

Ranma-chan: shh I'm watching

[a few minutes later Nodoka has finished]

Nodoka: [brushing off the skirt] their done one battle skirt ready to go

Akane: battle skirt?

Nodoka: yeah it's designed to split it's seems when put under the stress of 
battle

Akane: cool!

Nodoka: now Ranma go put it on a long with the rest of the outfit

[Ranma-chan starts grumbling as she gathers up the battle skirt and the 
rest of the clothes]

Nodoka: ... aren't you forgetting something ... Ranko

[Ranma-chan winces and then grabs the panties and bra]

Nodoka: and I expect you to be wearing them when you get back

[Ranma-chan grumbles even louder before leaving]

Akane: [giggling]... your enjoying this aren't you

Nodoka: [smiling broadly] ... what ever gave you that idea

Akane: [shakes her head] ... sometimes I wonder about you

Nodoka: ...[sighs] ... sometimes I wonder about myself to ...but I have a 
feeling Ranma will have fun with this even if ...she... doesn't admit it at 
first [smiles]

[Akane just moans]

[a few minutes later Ranma-chan comes back downstairs dressed in a sea 
green silk blouse and battle skirt and obviously wearing a bra]

Ranma-chan: [her left eye twitching] .......

Nodoka: [trying to suppress a laugh] .... you look 

Ranma-chan: say the K word and I'll punt you into orbit ...

Nodoka: [trying to act innocent] now you wouldn't do that to your own 
mother would you

[Ranma-Chan's left eyebrow just twitches]

Ranma-chan: ... don't tempt me .....[walks off towards the training hall 
mumbling] I am a man

Nodoka: we'll see about that ... Akane for the rest of this month Ranma is 
to remain in female form

Akane: do you think that's necessary

Nodoka: yes I do Akane I really do .... The root of Ranma's little problem 
may be the fact that he can't deal with his feminine side ... and Ranma 
definitely has a feminine side

Akane: ....[a slight blush appears on Akane's face]

Nodoka: what

Akane: this is a little embarrassing to say but I don't think Ranma's ever 
allowed himself to take any pleasure from his female body

Nodoka: ... well that's just not healthy for either a girl or boy not to 
take pleasure from their own body ... what about him taking pleasure from 
his male body

Akane: [turning a bright red] ... I don't know

Nodoka: I think I'm beginning to understand

Akane: understand what

Nodoka: he's so revolted by the idea of liking it has a girl that he has 
effectively blocked out anything that has to do with "it"

Akane: can we do anything for him

Nodoka: ... the only thing I can think of right now is to get him 
comfortable enough with his female side that he'll take pleasure from it

Akane: ... [sighs] ... ok

[Akane leaves for the training hall]

[meanwhile in the training hall Ranma-chan practices]

Ranma-chan: ....[trying to ignore every perverted thought that comes into 
her mind] ...

[Ranma-chan leans against the wall the dojo]

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] no I'm a man... men don't take pleasure from that 
[a image flashes across Ranma-Chan's mind of enjoying her female 
body] ...no men don't do that [shakes her head violently] ... no I'm not a 
pervert ... I do not feel good right now ....[Ranma-chan punches a nearby 
cinder block breaking it into a thousand pieces] ...... [aloud] I am a man

Akane: [just entering] really you could have fooled me

Ranma-chan: what Akane

Akane: ... your mom says you have to stay in female form for the rest of 
the month

Ranma-chan: [horror written on her face] what!!!

Akane: you heard me

Ranma-chan: [holding her head while thinking] I have a tough enough time 
keeping my sanity on a daily basis when being able to change back but...

Akane: are you ok Ranma

Ranma-chan: ... yeah Akane

Akane: ...[thinking] ... Nodoka was right ...[aloud] hum do you want to 
talk about it

Ranma-chan: about what

Akane: [stuttering] about how the curse makes you feel ... in "that" way

Ranma-chan: [nervously] ....  I... I don't know that I should

Akane: Ranma if you don't deal with those urges they'll drive you insane

Ranma-chan: [thinking] those urges are already driving me insane 

Nodoka: [just entering] Ranma a word with you alone

[Akane leaves quietly]

Nodoka: [pulling Ranma-Chan's chin up] there's nothing wrong or un-manly in 
taking pleasure from your own body

Ranma-chan: but.. 

Nodoka: don't argue with me that body is as much yours as the one you were 
born with ...[sighs] it's not healthy to deny your own urges ... 

Ranma-chan: [opening and closing her mouth while no sounds come 
out] ......... I'm not a gay freak!!!

Nodoka: is that what your worried about

Ranma-chan: ...[nods her head silently]

Nodoka: is that why you don't get excited at all

[Ranma-chan again just nods her head]

Nodoka: [hugging Ranma-chan tightly] ....[thinking] ... this is more severe 
than I thought

[later in Akane's room Akane and Nodoka talk]

Akane: so Ranma's afraid if he indulges himself with either body he'll 
become gay

Nodoka: apparently ....  What you more than me really need to know is what 
his fantasy is

Akane: [turning green] why me

Nodoka: because he IS your fiancée

Akane: ....

Nodoka: ....  Why don't you to have a little slumber party ... in nothing 
but underwear

Akane: Aunt Nodoka!!!!

Nodoka: remember until the end of the month Ranma is a girl okay

Akane: ....ok

[around 10:00pm in Akane's room Akane is sitting alone in nothing but her 
underwear mumbling to herself when a knock is heard at the door]

Akane: come in

[at this time a very nervous an embarrassed Ranma-chan enters in nothing 
but her underwear]

Ranma-chan: ... where does my mom come up with these ideas

Akane: I wish I knew... so what do you want to do first

Ranma-chan: I don't know

Akane: how bout truth or dare

Ranma-chan: ok I guess ... just no questions about Ryouga or p-chan

Akane: ... okay .... you go first

Ranma-chan: ...hum ... what do you think of Ukyou

Akane: Ukyou....  I think she makes a lousy fiancée but an excellent friend 
so what do you think of her

Ranma-chan: ... an old friend that I can still only really look at as a 
boy ....  What do you think of shampoo

Akane: an Amazon hussy and you

Ranma-chan: the same ... she was much easier to deal with when she was 
trying to kill me ... do I even need to ask what you think of my father

Akane: no so what do you think of mine

Ranma-chan: about the same I think of mine ...what do you think of my 
mother

Akane: I don't really know yet after she found out about your curse she was 
constantly trying to makes sushi out of you for any thing she considered 
un-manly but after the failed wedding she changed and now she's well

Ranma-chan: going to the other extreme

Akane: so what do you think of your mother

Ranma-chan: I think she's hiding something I have no idea why but the way 
Happosai and Cologne act toward her nowadays has changed its like they 
realized she was someone from their past someone they fear ... it started 
after I heard Happosai being royally chewed out by my mom after the 
wedding ... she wasn't even doing it in Japanese and when Happosai left the 
day after he was still white and Cologne hasn't been bothering us since 
then either

Akane: do you think it has anything to do with how she's behaving now

Ranma-chan: I have no idea ....  Moving on though why have you've been 
acting a bit odd since you found out me having a period

Akane:... I don't really know I just never thought that the curse would do 
"that" to you and you thinking

Ranma-chan: you have no idea how many mixed signals I get ... a little 
something about the curse even though I'm not in my male form right now I 
can still feel my male body ....  It's the weirdest feeling ... and the 
same thing is true when I'm in my male form I can still feel my female body 
and all of the hormonal disturbances both of them cause have really ... 
well to put it bluntly screwed with my mind

Akane: you mean you can still feel

Ranma-chan: yeah even if I can't physically touch it I can still mentally 
feel it ... 

Akane: does the same thing happen in reverse when you're in male form

Ranma-chan: yeah

Akane: so no matter which form you're in the urges and sensations for both 
enter into your mind

Ranma-chan: yep ... I can control the male urges with no trouble ...but 
considering the fact that I lived with them for so long that's not 
surprising

Akane: what about the female urges

Ranma-chan: most of the time ....

Akane: Ranma I've got one for you tell me about your female fantasies

Ranma-chan: [gagging] what!!!!!

Akane: you heard me

Ranma-chan: well hum ok ... just promise you won't knock me into orbit

Akane: [thinking] this must be a good one [aloud] okay

Ranma-chan: [extremely nervous] the only one I've had was where we were 
both cursed ....[Ranma-Chan's voice trails off]

Akane: ...oh my ...[whispers something into Ranma-Chan's ear after which 
Ranma-chan turns white] ...

Ranma-chan: but

Akane: nothing permanent silly I'll just use some instant Nannichuan powder

[at this time Ranma-chan becomes extremely red]

Akane: oh come on Ranma

Ranma-chan: I...

Akane: can you blame me for being curious ... your curse is enough to make 
anyone jealous

Ranma-chan: your jealous of my curse?!!!

Akane: to a certain extent ... I mean I don't like the fact that it makes a 
water magnet out of you or all the trouble it causes you but you always 
seem to have fun

Ranma-chan: ...[looking depressed]... I just don't want to become some kind 
of weird sex freak

Akane: oh come on Ranma that's not going to happen if you indulge yourself 

Ranma-chan: how do you know Akane

Akane:...[turning red] well I do it and I'm no sex freak

Ranma-chan: ...[choking] you ...what

Akane: you heard me

Ranma-chan: but

Akane: no buts okay

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] I've never imagined Akane would ....

Akane: Ranma you have got to deal with your female urges just like you 
do....

Ranma-chan: you don't understand I don't even indulge myself when in male 
form and I never have ... but at least I understand the male urges ....  
Now if you don't mind I really need some sleep I'm still pretty ragged out 
from yesterday

[Ranma-chan gets in her sleeping bag and promptly falls asleep]

Akane: [thinking] Nodoka was definitely right ... and ... I've been wrong 
all this time about him being a pervert [yawns] hum some sleep sounds good 
right now

-[some instant Nannichuan powder for Akane]-

[it has been a month since Nodoka decided that Ranma had to learn about his 
feminine side and for the most part the plan has worked]

[early morning in Ranma's room where Ranma-chan still half asleep 
absentmindedly scratches her left breast before getting up and looking at a 
calendar]

Ranma-chan: ...[yawns] today's the day ...[thinking] ... strange I'm not 
all that excited ...
 
[Ranma-chan goes over to her closet and picks out one of her usual red 
shirts and black pants along with some boxer shorts and a muscle shirt and 
as she leaves for the bathroom her foot absently kicks a small box open 
which contains one package of instant Nannichuan powder]

[a few moments later Akane enters the room looking for Ranma-chan]

Akane: Ranma....[looks around and sees the general state of the room] ... I 
guess she's already gone to the bathroom to change since today's the 
day ...[Akane sees the package of instant Nannichuan powder] ...hum... 
[gets a devilish grin on her face and then snatches the powder and quickly 
leaves the room]

[meanwhile in the bathroom Ranma is soaking in a hot bath]

Ranma: ahh a hot bath feels sooooooo good

[suddenly a knock is heard at the door]

Ranma: who is it!!!

Akane: [from outside] it's me Ranma ... mind if I come in

Ranma: hum why do you want to come in

Akane: [from outside] I need to talk to you about something ... and it 
can't wait

Ranma: well okay

[Akane enters]

Ranma: [leaning over the side of the tub] so what did you want to talk 
about

Akane: this [pulls out the package of instant Nannichuan powder]

Ranma: [confused] hun

Akane: [grabs a nearby bucket of cold water] ... remember how I was saying 
I was a little jealous of your curse Ranma ... well since you had to spend 
the entire month as a girl 

Ranma: you aren't honestly thinking of doing that are you

Akane: ...[nods her head] ...[opens the package of instant Nannichuan and 
pores it into the bucket of cold water] ...

Ranma: [sighs] I won't stop you ok ... a word of advice though ... if you 
dunk yourself right now you're likely to ruin what you're wearing

Akane: ...[looks at her current attire] ...hum do you have anything I can 
borrow

Ranma: ...[scratches his chin] ... I know ... it's something that I don't 
where that often ... my green gi and white pants

Akane: ...[surprised] green gi and white pants!!

Ranma: yep their and my closet why don't you go and grab them

[Akane leaves and comes back a few minutes later dressed in a green gi and 
white pants]

Ranma: [smiling] you look good

[Akane grabs the bucket of instant Nannichuan]

Akane: anything I should know before I take the plunge

Ranma: transformation sickness ... the first few times I transformed I got 
nausea real bad ... and I mean really bad

Akane: how bad

Ranma: [grumbles] worse than a period in my opinion

Akane: [shocked] .......  Well here goes nothing

[Akane splashes herself with the bucket of instant Nannichuan and promptly 
changes into Akane-Kun but then starts to look very sick and runs over to 
the sink and throws up]

Ranma: [leans back into the tub] you ok

Akane-Kun: ... yeah ...and your right about transformation sickness

Ranma: well why don't you go downstairs and wait for me ok

[Akane-Kun exits the bathroom still looking a bit green]

[Meanwhile down in the dining room Kasumi and Nodoka are drinking some tea 
when Akane-kun enters]

Nodoka: [raising an eyebrow while still sipping her tea] ... Akane?

Akane-Kun: yeah

Nodoka: instant Nannichuan right

Kasumi: [smiling] you look very handsome as a boy Akane

Akane-Kun: [an eyebrow twitching] hum thanks sis

[at this time the familiar screens of Ryouga's battle cry can be heard]

Ryouga: die Ranma!!!!!!!!! 

[Ryouga can be seen running directly at Akane-Kun but Nodoka in an instant 
has her katana at Ryouga's neck]

Nodoka: Ryouga would you take a closer look at who your assaulting

Ryouga: ....[taking a very long look at Akane-Kun] ... Akane!?  Is that you

Akane-Kun: yep 

Ryouga: if Ranma did this to you!!!

Akane-Kun: relax Ryouga I just lost a game of truth or dare with Ranma ... 
so I have to spend the rest of the day as a man courtesy of a spare package 
of instant Nannichuan

Ryouga: so it's not permanent

Akane-Kun: no

Ryouga: ....

Akane-Kun: are you ok Ryouga

Ryouga: yeah just a little hot

Akane-Kun: here Ryouga

[Akane-Kun picks up a nearby glass of ice water which he tries to hand to 
Ryouga but due to his lack of familiarity with his male body trips and 
splashes Ryouga getting a crystal clear view of Ryouga's transformation]

Ryouga-p-chan: bwee...

Nodoka: I suggest you run Ryouga

[up in Ranma's room Ranma can here the sounds of a certain black piglet 
being chased by one very pissed off and currently male fiancée]

Ranma: looks like the pigs out of the bag .... I hope she doesn't kill him 
I mean he's not a half bad guy

[a little while later in the dining room Ranma enters to find Kasumi and 
Nodoka still sipping tea]

Ranma: so how did it happen

Nodoka: [takes a sip of her tea] ...he being Akane was trying to hand 
Ryouga a glass of ice water only to trip and splash Ryouga with it

Ranma: let me get this straight after all this time she accidentally 
splashes him

Nodoka: [smiles] yep

Ranma: this is going to be an interesting day

[a few minutes later Akane-kun enters with a certain black piglet]

Ranma: [holding up a kettle of hot water along with Ryouga's clothes] here 
Akane

[Akane-kun storms off and returns a few minutes later with an unconscious 
Ryouga]

Ranma: ...[sips some tea] I suppose you want an explanation ..... The short 
explanation of why I didn't tell you is Ryouga made me give my word that I 
wouldn't tell you or anyone else

Akane-Kun: .... Fine I'm not angry at you ... I guess I know who the real 
pervert around here is

Ranma: he's no pervert Akane anytime he gets anywhere close to anything 
that has to do with a woman's naughty bits he faints

Akane-Kun: ....[remembering all the times she had held "p-chan" close to 
her breasts]... by kami it really has been Ryouga!!! ... but why did he do 
it

Ranma: he's been in love with you for a very long time Akane ... and 
because of his extreme shyness he's never been able to reveal his love to 
you ... so he settled on being loved like a pet

Akane-Kun: ...[thoroughly confused] but I thought you hated Ryouga

Ranma: not really he may be a bit obsessive but other than that he's a nice 
guy and I consider him a friend and an excellent sparing partner

Akane-kun: so how many other people know about Ryouga's curse

Nodoka: everyone but you Akane

Akane-Kun: [face-faulting] why am I suddenly feeling like a certain idiot 
named Kunou

[at this time Ryouga starts to regain consciousness]

Ranma: you ok Ryouga

Ryouga: [rubbing his head] why are there 5 of you Ranma ...[shakes his 
head] ...Akane ....[looks over at Akane-Kun]

Akane-kun: Ranma's told me everything Ryouga .... You're just lucky I'm in 
a good mood this morning

Ryouga: hum I think I'll be going now

[Ryouga makes a hasty exit]

Akane-kun: [tear drops] what a way to start the morning

Ranma: ....  Well what do you want to do

Akane-Kun: I don't know but something will come up it always does

[later Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun are walking along the fence that borders 
the reservoir]

Akane-Kun: ...[trying to keep his balance] this is harder than it looks

Ranma-chan: well considering this is the first time you've ever tried it 
you're doing incredibly well

Shampoo: [riding her bike along the fence] husband!!

[Before anyone can react shampoo gloms on to Akane-Kun]

Ranma-chan: ...um shampoo would you let go of Akane

Shampoo: pervert girl not here ....[realizes she is hearing Ranma-Chan's 
voice and looks up at a very ticked off Akane-Kun] ....ekkk!!!! ... pervert 
girl change into boy!!!

[Shampoo runs off screaming]

Akane-Kun: [fuming] that, that

Ranma-chan: well now you know how I feel when I get glommed

Akane-Kun: ...[sighs] I could hardly breathe

[at this time a certain blind Amazon attacks]

Mousse: die Ranma!!!

Akane-Kun: [seeing mousse on a straight course for himself] put your 
glasses on Mousse

[mousse manages to get his glasses on just before he attacks Akane-Kun]

Mousse: ... you're not Ranma ....  Who are you

[Akane-Kun just glares at mousse with his patented "I'm going to kill you 
Ranma" look]

Mousse: [shocked] Akane!!!

Ranma-chan: I always said she was a bit of a tomboy

[Mousse just develops a blank stare on his face and walks off]

Ranma-chan: ...[trying to stifle a laugh]...

Akane-Kun: what's so funny

Ranma-chan: shampoo and mousse that's what ....  I mean did you see the 
look on her face when she ran away ....  And the look on Mousse's face was 
totally priceless

Akane-Kun: ...[starts to laugh] ... we probably won't see them for a while

Ranma-chan: true

[later at U-chan Ukyou sits alone recovering from the lunch hour rush]

Ukyou: I wonder what ran-chan is doing [looks over at a calendar] ... well 
at least "he" can change back today and stop wearing girls clothes ... 
[smiles] not that his female form doesn't good in a skirt

[at this time a still very pissed off Akane-kun enters with Ranma]

Ukyou: hi Ranma ....

Ranma: hi Ukyou ...

Ukyou: [looking over at Akane-Kun who is trying to use a suspicious soda 
machine] ... so who's your friend

Akane-Kun: ...[puts a hundred yen piece into the machine and presses one of 
the buttons] ...what?? [Starts kicking and pounding the machine] ... rotten 
thing stole my money ....[pulls a mallet out of nowhere and proceeds to 
bash the machine which turns out to be Tsubasa].... Tsubasa ... are you ok

Tsubasa: ...[holding up a hundred yen piece] here Akane

[Tsubasa walks out of U-Chan's on very shaky legs]

Akane-Kun: [sighs] I wish he wouldn't do things like that

Ukyou: .... [Looking at Akane-kun closely] Akane is that really you

Akane-Kun: yeah it's me

Ukyou: but how

Akane-Kun: I lost a game of truth or dare with Ranma so I had to use some 
instant Nannichuan on myself

Ukyou: you mean that stuff that turns any body of water into a onetime use 
Nannichuan

Akane-kun: yep

Ukyou: ...[face-faulting] ....  So how long are you going to stay like that

Akane-Kun: till tonight

Ukyou: ....  Well I wish the best of luck to you ... so will you two be 
having your usual

[Ranma and Akane-Kun just nod their heads]

[later after returning to the dojo a very sore Akane-Kun and Ranma drink 
some tea while sitting in the dining room]

Akane-Kun: [exhausted] ... you could've helped me with Kunou you know

Ranma: ... you did just fine by yourself Akane ....  I mean you're always 
telling me not to interfere with your fights

Akane-Kun: .... I suppose your right

Kasumi: [from the kitchen] Akane that was father on the phone

Akane-Kun: so when will they be back

Kasumi: ...[just entering] around noon tomorrow

Akane-Kun: [sighs] well after fighting Kunou I need a bath

[Akane-Kun leaves just as Nodoka enters]

Nodoka: so Ranma did you and Akane have fun today

Ranma: that's a matter of opinion

Nodoka: so what happened to you

Ranma: absolutely nothing ... Akane's had all the fun today

Nodoka: I hope she didn't get into too much trouble

Ranma: nothing that the tomboy couldn't handle

Nodoka: [smiles] are you sure

Ranma: if anything got out of hand I would have stepped in

Nodoka: so you let her fight her own battles

Ranma: yeah

Nodoka: why

Ranma: because she wants to

Nodoka: ... fair enough

-[A mother returns and Kasumi's secret is revealed]-

[The next day Ranma and Akane are sitting by the pond when someone enters 
the gates to the dojo]

Ranma: [looking up at the open gates of the dojo Ranma sees a very 
beautiful woman of about his height with long blue hair entering the dojo 
dressed in a ninja gi and carrying a katana] ...hum Akane

Akane: [looking up she sees the woman] ....[blinks] ... Mommy

[before the woman can talk a blur bounds across the pond katana in hand and 
starts attacking the woman after a few seconds Ranma and Akane identify the 
blur as Kasumi who is wearing a ninja gi and looking very hot]

Woman: [in an offensive stance] you've improved my little orchid

Kasumi: [smiling as she brushes a few stray strands of hair out of her 
face] ... of course I have... [lowers her stance]

Woman: [points at Ranma] I assume that's my youngest daughter's shape 
shifting fiancée

Nodoka: ....[just exiting from the dining room] .... A-chan you're back 
earlier than I expected

A-chan: the dimensional portal was easier to repair them the Magi predicted

Nodoka: ...ahh well A-chan why don't you introduce yourself to your 
youngest daughter

A-chan: [putting her katana away] ....  I'm sorry I had to leave Akane

Akane: [tears flowing down her face] Mommy

A-chan: yes ....  So where's my hopeless cry baby husband ...

Akane: .......

Kasumi: [putting her katana away] he'll be home in a minute mother

A-chan: [grabbing her gi] well considering I just got back from a war, I 
think I deserve a change of clothes and a hot bath

[A-chan walks into the dojo]

Akane: [looking at Kasumi in the vary form fitting ninja gi] ... sis?

Kasumi: [smiling] ... you didn't honestly think I was "that" sweet and 
innocent did you sis

[Kasumi walks back into the dojo making sure to act very sexy]

Nodoka: ...[laughing] ...

[Nodoka walks back into the dojo]

Ranma: ...[Stone faced] do you realize you look like your mother

Akane: ...hum, yeah

[a few minutes later Ranma and Akane regain the ability for some cognitive 
thought]

Ranma: Akane

Akane: yeah Ranma

Ranma: was that really your mom

Akane: hum I think so

Ranma: was Kasumi really using a katana and wearing a black body suit

Akane: yeah I'm fairly sure she was

Ranma: this is weird even for us

Nodoka: [from inside the dining room] lunch is ready!!!

Akane: are you hungry

Ranma: yeah

[Ranma and Akane enter the dining room to find a-chan now dressed in a blue 
battle skirt and a white blouse, Nodoka and Kasumi wearing one of her usual 
outfits]

A-chan: [looking at Ranma] so you're my youngest daughters fiancée

Ranma: yes misses Tendo

A-chan: just call me a-chan

Ranma: hum

Akane: [staring at a-chan] ... mother is it really you after all this time

A-chan: [smiling] of course my little tomboy

[Akane breaks down crying]

A-chan: [in a soft caring voice] don't cry my little one

Akane: but how

A-chan: a very long story my little tomboy ... but to make that story short 
I'm the Black orchid

Ranma: as in the legendary ninja

A-chan: yep ....

Akane: and what about you sis

Kasumi: [takes a sip of her tea] ... when mother retires the duty of the 
Black orchid will be passed to me

Ranma: let me get this straight Kasumi you are the next in line to become 
the Black orchid a female ninja known to show absolutely no mercy to her 
enemy

Kasumi: ...yep [takes a sip of her tea]

Akane: your joking

Kasumi: nope

[at this time the gates to the dojo are heard opening]

A-chan: [smiles] excuse me

[a-chan leaves the dining room and walks out to the pond]

Soun: A-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Nabiki: MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	Genma: A-Chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[3 thuds are heard outside]

Ranma: [takes a sip of his tea] ... they took that well

[a moment later a-chan enters with Soun and Nabiki draped over her 
shoulders]

A-chan: I'll let you handle Genma, No-kun

[A-chan leaves]

Nodoka: ...[takes a sip of her tea] ... I think I'll let him sleep

Kasumi: ... I suppose I should go get the smelling salts

[Kasumi leaves]

Akane: I think I need some rest

Ranma: ditto

[Ranma and Akane leave]

Nodoka: well with a-chan around things should get interesting in a hurry ... 
I wonder if they found any more Nannichuan ... [thinking] ... even if they 
did I doubt very seriously that Ranma is going to be cured ...ah well I've 
grown fairly attached to his curse anyhow

[later in Akane's room Ranma and Akane sit alone]

Akane: ....  Ranma

Ranma: what a day hun

Akane: agreed

Ranma: so how did you like your brief moment of manhood

Akane: ... other then the usual things that happen to you I rather enjoyed 
it

Ranma: ... your father's probably brought back another bucket of Nannichuan

Akane: you don't want to get rid of your curse any more do you

Ranma: ... your right ... I guess it's just become apart of me now

[a knock is heard at the door]

Akane: who is it

A-chan: [from outside] it's me

Akane: come in

[A-chan enters]

A-chan: [looking at Ranma] so what are you two talking about

Akane: Ranma's curse

A-chan: [laughs] you call changing back and forth between the sexes a curse

Ranma: yeah

A-chan: no Ranma you do not have a curse ... well not in my opinion... 
Akane do you know where I've been for the past 10 years

Akane: no

A-chan: good... and never ask me ....  Ranma I have seen real curses, 
magics spells and incantations that twist the soul as well as the body ... 
and these spells were used on some of my closest friends changing them into 
demons and things far, far worse ... while all your "curse" does is give 
you a very beautiful female body

Akane: hum mom how do you know that

A-chan: don't ask that question ... if the kami wishes for that information 
to surface it will in its own time ....  Now Ranma do you really think that 
you're cursed

Ranma: I don't know any more

Kasumi: [from the hallway] father and Nabiki are sleeping soundly

A-Chan: good now my little tomboy tell me about yesterday, Nodoka said 
something about instant Nannichuan

Akane: [gulps] ...hum

[after giving a-chan the highlights of Akane's day as a man]

A-chan: [smiling] what a day

Akane: not really the only thing different about yesterday was everything 
happen to me instead of Ranma

A-chan: [laughs] you're kidding

Akane: no

A-chan: well I've got to get some sleep

[A-chan leaves]

Akane: this has been one heck of a day hasn't it

Ranma: even for us

[Nodoka enters with a large flask of water]

Nodoka: [pointing at the flask] your father just gave me this Ranma

Ranma: is that what I think it is

Nodoka: yep

[both Ranma and Akane start to look depressed]

Nodoka: ...[smiles] ... the way I see it you two have four options ... 1 
destroy the flask and its contents ....  2 give the flask to your 
father ....  3 Ranma can use the flask on himself ....  4 Akane can use the 
flask ... and whatever you two decide I will standby your decision

[Nodoka places the flask of water on Akane's desk and leaves]

Ranma: ....  Akane you decide

Akane: ....[looking at the flask of water] ...[thinking] I'm a girl ...but 
I'm also Ranma's fiancée ... none of his other fiancées would do this for 
him ... but do I want this do I want his life .... constantly uncertain of 
my sexuality ....  No... I wouldn't question myself because ... because of 
Ranma because we would both understand each other's feelings and I would 
never have to worry about losing myself except to him ... and I lost myself 
to him a long time ago ... and the feeling no matter how bizarre it is that 
I would be able to give him all the pleasure he ever needed makes me 
strangely calm ...[aloud] ok Ranma choice No. 4 ....and I can't believe I 
said that ... 

Ranma: are you sure about this

Akane: no but ... I still want to do it for you

Ranma: ... ok but we have to make it look like an accident

Akane: considering your record at getting cured that shouldn't be to hard

Ranma: true ... I wonder how are fathers will react

Akane: ... knowing those two bakas they'll probably say it makes us the 
perfect couple ... after my dad gets done creating a flash flood

Ranma: what about your mom

Akane: ... I don't know ... but we better start coming up with something

A-chan: [standing in the doorway with Nodoka] it sounds like they need some 
help doesn't it No-kun

Nodoka: [smiling] it sure does

-[Akane's cursed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]-

[setting: the peaceful seen of the Tendo dojo is interrupted by a 
shattering female screen that awakens all of the dojo's sleeping inhabits 
and draws them quickly to Akane's bedroom to find Ranma-chan nervously 
staring at a brown haired man that has the same height and build as the 
male Ranma]

Akane-Kun: ....[fuming] 
RANMA ....NO ....BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the brown headed man punts Ranma-chan out the window]

Soun: [staring at Kasumi Nodoka and a-chan] what happened?!!

Kasumi: [in her usual innocent voice] Ranma tripped and fell and got the 
Nannichuan all over Akane

Nabiki: ...[turning to her now male sister with horror etched on her face] 
sis is that really you

[Akane-kun just nods his head]

Genma: ....  [Doing his demon head imitation] I'm going to kill that boy

Nodoka: you will do nothing of the sort Genma the whole thing was an 
accident 

Soun: ...[doing his demon head] then I'll kill him

Akane-Kun: no daddy don't kill Ranma ... just go get me some hot water

Soun: but you're cursed now!!!

Akane-Kun: it was an accident daddy Ranma tripped and the Nannichuan 
spilled all over me

A-chan: go get her the hot water understand

[Soun starts to cry and then leaves]

Nabiki: ....[showing genuine concern] are you sure it was an accident

Akane-Kun: yes Nodoka, mom, and Kasumi saw it happen ... as unbelievable as 
it sounds he just tripped

Nabiki: sis if there's anything I can do

Akane-Kun: [looking at his blouse which is ripped and torn in several 
places] ... hum ....  Just get Ranma back in here ok

[Nabiki storms off with Akane's patented "I'm going to kill you Ranma" look 
in her eye]

Genma: .... [Looking genuinely concerned] Akane tomorrow I will leave for 
China to retrieve Nyannichuan water

Akane-Kun: [infuriated] Uncle Genma promise me you will never return to 
Jusenkyo under any condition

Genma: in kami-sama's name why not!!!!!!!!!!

Akane-Kun: every time someone goes back to that place it only makes things 
worse ....[tears forming in his eye's] give me your word of honor that you 
will never return to that place

Genma: ....[sighs deeply] ... I Genma Saotome give my word of honor never 
to return to the cursed Springs of Jusenkyo under any condition

Akane-Kun: thank you ....  Now go make my father do the same thing

[Genma leaves with his head hung low knowing that he was the start of 
everything related to Jusenkyo]

Kasumi: [smiling broadly] sis you are a terrific actor

Akane-Kun: actually that last part's the truth every time somebody goes 
back to Jusenkyo things do get worse or at least weirder 

[at this time a very indignant Ranma-chan is heard being dragged up the 
stairs by her ponytail]

Nabiki: [entering the room while dragging a very wet and angry Ranma-chan] 
now apologize to my sister!!!!!!

Ranma-chan: [looking at Akane-Kun] I....I...I'm .... sorry Akane

Akane-Kun: ....so am I Ranma you were so close only to have my dumb 
dumbbell mess things up

Nabiki: [looking at said dumbbell] ... you mean ... your dumbbell is what 
he tripped on

Ranma-chan: [pulling her ponytail] yeah

Nabiki: ....[trying desperately to stifle a full-blown bout of 
uncontrollable laughter] ...

Akane-Kun: ...[giggles as well as cry's] it is funny isn't it

[one by one everyone in the room but Ranma-chan breaks down laughing]

Ranma-chan: [a single tier runs down her face] this isn't funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

[everyone starts to look ashamed and then Nabiki leaves]

Ranma-chan: [taking a deep breath]

Kasumi: [still giggling a little bit] how did you stop yourself from 
laughing Ranma

Ranma-chan: ... I just remembered the lowest point in my life [a tear runs 
down Ranma-Chan's cheek]

[at this time Soun reenters with a kettle of hot water]

Soun: ... why daughter

Akane-Kun: because anytime we go to that place something terrible happens 

Soun: fine I will respect your wish ....[hands the kettle of water to 
Akane-Kun and then leaves]

Akane-Kun: so far so good

[Akane-Kun doses Ranma-chan and then himself]

Akane: [examining her blouse] ... I do believe I need a change of clothes

[a little while later in the dining room Soun, Genma, and Nabiki sit 
quietly having tea when Kasumi, a-chan, and Nodoka enter]

Nabiki: ...why 

Nodoka: ... some questions have no answer Nabiki ... all we can do now is 
move on

Soun: I'm sorry you had to see that my dear a-chan

A-chan: don't worry about it my little cry baby I'm sure they'll make the 
most of it

Genma: ....[his mood changing] ... she has a point Soun now they are the 
"perfect couple"

[Soun and Genma develop a very proud look on their faces before patting 
themselves on the back and starting a game of shoji]

Nabiki: [Rolling her eyes] hopeless absolutely hopeless

A-chan: which one of them

Nabiki: both

[Nabiki walks off her mercenary instincts already telling her how much 
money she can now make]

Kasumi: ... by the end of the day everything will be back to abnormal

Nodoka: ... actually I was thinking by the end of the hour

A-chan: [face-faulting] are things usually this crazy

Kasumi: yeah

A-chan: and I thought married life was going to be boring

[meanwhile just outside Akane's room Ranma waits for Akane]

Ranma: ...[thinking] ... I sure hope things workout

[at this time Akane exits her room dressed in the green gi and white pants 
she was wearing the previous day]

Akane: well let's go break the news to everyone

Ranma: ... they're not going to like it

Akane: who cares

[back in the dining room Nodoka and a-chan sip some tea and play a game of 
shoji when Ranma and Akane enter]

A-chan: wow you two are color coordinated

[Ranma and Akane blush slightly]

Nodoka: off to tell the usual gang of crazies

Ranma: yeah

Nodoka: [throws Ranma a bottle of smelling salts] ... then you might need 
these

Ranma: hum good point

-[breaking the news]-

[around 2:00 and U-Chan's where a VERY depressed looking Ryouga is waiting 
for a pork okonomiyaki]

Ukyou: are you sure you're feeling ok Ryouga ... I mean pork is something 
you usually tend to stay away from

Ryouga: ... I'm just in the mood for pork right now ok

Ukyou: and what mood would that be

Ryouga: ... she found out

Ukyou: you mean Akane found out you were p-chan!!!

Ryouga: yeah ... I don't think I'll ever be able to face her again

Ukyou: well you're going to face her in about 5 seconds because Ranma and 
her are heading straight here

[Ryouga and Ukyou watch as Ranma and Akane walk across the street only to 
be splashed by a passing car and transform]

Ryouga: what the ...!!!

[Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun enter still very soggy and looking very 
indignant]

Akane-Kun: you wouldn't happen to have a spare towel around Ukyou

[Ukyou nods dumbfoundedly and retrieves two towels from underneath the 
counter]

Ranma-chan: [drying herself off] thanks U-chan

Ryouga: hum I thought you said you used instant Nannichuan

Akane-Kun: hum Ukyou you better make some large okonomiyaki this is going 
to take a while to explain

Ryouga: Ukyou I changed my mind I want double pork ....  No make that 
triple

[needless to say Akane-Kun and Ranma-chan are totally flabbergasted]

Ranma-chan: are you feeling ok Ryouga

Ryouga: no I'm not feeling ok

Ranma-chan: [whispering to Akane-Kun] ... he's finely lost it

[Akane-Kun just nods his head in agreement]

Ukyou: so what's the story

Akane-Kun: well I guess it started around 11:00 today when my mother showed 
up

Ukyou: your mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Akane-Kun: yeah ... after 10 years of being assumed dead she just walks 
back into the dojo dressed as a ninja and carrying a katana

Ukyou: how can you be sure its her

Akane-Kun: how many people have blue hair

Ukyou: ... true [hands a triple pork okonomiyaki to Ryouga]

Ryouga: [eating said okonomiyaki] ... then what happened

Akane-Kun: then Kasumi also dressed as a ninja comes out of nowhere and 
starts having a sword fight with her

Ryouga ....[his eyes as big as watermelons] Kasumi!!!!!!

Ranma-chan: yeah Kasumi in a black body suit was fighting with her own 
mother using a katana

Ukyou: you've got to be kidding Kasumi in a body suit ....  And wielding a 
katana

Akane-Kun: nope and they fought for at least five minutes

Ukyou: ... let me get this straight your mother that has been missing for 
10 years walks into the dojo in a body suit carrying a katana and 
""Kasumi"" greets her in another body suit by having a sword fight

Akane-Kun: yeah

Ukyou: just wanted to get that straight ....  So what happened after that 

Ranma-chan: something more mundane ... Soun, Genma, and Nabiki returned 
from China and promptly fainted when they saw a-chan

Ukyou: a-chan??

Akane-Kun: that's what my mom likes to be called by

Ukyou: then what

Ranma-chan: ... me, Akane, my mom , a-chan and Kasumi were in Akane's room 
when I finely got the Nannichuan water but as I was getting up to use it I 
tripped on one of Akane's dumbbells ...and Akane got soaked with the entire 
bottle of Nannichuan

Akane-Kun: thus my current situation

Ryouga: [a blank expression on his face as he eats his okonomiyaki] Kasumi 
in a body suit??

Ukyou: I think that one fried his brain

Akane-Kun: well Ukyou we've got to be going ... we have to tell the rest of 
the gang

[Akane-kun and Ranma-chan leave]

Ryouga: [eating the plate] Kasumi in a body suit??

Ukyou: I don't believe it either.... the weirdness quotient just jumped a 
hundred points ....  No make that 500 points

[later at the cat café Ranma and Akane are just finishing their story when 
shampoo totally loses it]

Shampoo: pervert girl change into boy!!! ... and pervert girl's nice sister 
use katana

[Shampoo walks off obviously having a mental breakdown]

Cologne: .... [Raises an eyebrow] I think she's finely snapped

Mousse: Kasumi Tendo using a katana is enough to make anyone snap

[mousse walks off to care for shampoo]

Cologne: true

Ranma: me and Akane will be leaving now

[Ranma and Akane leave]

Cologne: ....

[Later back at the dojo we find a-chan and Nodoka sparing while Nabiki 
watches when a slightly wet Ranma-chan and Akane-kun enter the dojo]

Nabiki: ....  The ladle lady right

[Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun just nod and continue on into the dojo]

A-chan: [avoiding a kick from Nodoka] the ladle lady??

Nabiki: there's this old woman that washes down the sidewalk in front of 
her house and she always manages to get Ranma

Nodoka: [avoiding a punch and countering with a kick] There's not a day 
that goes bye that that lady doesn't manage to get Ranma

A-chan: [avoiding a kick and countering with a round house] and now it 
seems Akane

Nabiki: well Ranma's always said the curse made him a water magnet looks 
like the same thing's happening to Akane now

[meanwhile up in Ranma's room Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun are relaxing while 
they dry off]

Akane-kun: three times

Ranma-chan: yeah

Akane-Kun: your right about the curse making you a water magnet

Ranma-chan: I know that sounds weird but it's true

Akane-Kun: believe me it doesn't sound weird anymore

Ranma-chan: so what do you want to do after we dry off

Akane-Kun: absolutely nothing

Ranma-chan: I'll agree with that

[at this time Kasumi enters with a of kettle hot water]

Kasumi: [her voice low and even] so do you two want any hot water

[Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun just smile before using the water on themselves]

Kasumi: Ranma I have a request of you

Ranma: what

Kasumi: your curse has been notorious for causing you trouble and now sense 
Akane has one of her own I request you train her in everything you know

Ranma: .... I need to talk with my mother before I make a decision

Akane: I'll go get her

[Akane leaves]

Kasumi: ... you know what little brother

Ranma: what

Kasumi: [smiles] she loves you [Kasumi leaves]

Ranma: ....  I know

[a few minutes later Nodoka enters]

Nodoka: [wiping the sweat off her face with a towel] Akane says you want to 
talk to me

Ranma: remember the promise I made about never hitting a girl

Nodoka: no ... but I do remember a promise about never hitting a lady

Ranma: [confused] what's the difference

Nodoka: well the difference is not all women are ladies

Ranma: [even more confused] ....hun

Nodoka: [wrapping the towel around her neck] let me explain ... a lady is a 
woman that can't defend herself doesn't know any martial arts and acts lady 
like ... remind you of anyone you know

Ranma: no 

Nodoka: then why haven't you been beating some of those girls that chase 
your round into pulp or at least over the horizon a few times

Ranma: [shocked] what!!

Nodoka: relax son I'm just saying the girls in your life aren't week or 
fragile and it is an insult to their honor to treat them as such ....  
especially Akane ....  Do you realize most of your trouble with her is the 
fact you treat her like a piece of fine China ... she may be a gorgeous 
girl but she is also extremely strong and definitely not fragile

Ranma: [rubbing his head] ... then would you have any objections to me 
honoring Kasumi's request

Nodoka: none at all ....[thinking] especially since I'm the one that 
suggested it in the first place ...[aloud] and I don't expect you to go 
easy on her

[Nodoka leaves]

Ranma: ....

-[back to school tomorrow!!]-

[early morning in the kitchen Nodoka and a-chan prepare some tea]

A-chan: ....  I just had an interesting thought No-kun

Nodoka: what

A-chan: what if they're clothes changed when they did

Nodoka: ... I like that idea ....  I can probably create something to do it 
but how would it work

A-chan: ....  I know they would pick out an outfit to wear in each form

Nodoka: I don't get what you're saying

A-chan: ok let's take Ranma for an example he always where's a red gi and 
black pants right

Nodoka: or some variation thereof

A-chan: okay he uses some cold water to change forms and then he puts on an 
other outfit for his female form ... and when he changes back to his male 
form the outfit would change back to what he put on in male form

Nodoka: ....[smiles] yeah that'll work ....

A-chan: ... one thing Nodoka do they know you're a master Wizard

Nodoka: no 

A-chan: well won't they get suspicious when you hand them transformation 
bracelets

Nodoka: naa I'll just say an old friend owed me a favor or something

A-chan: do you think they'll buy it

Nodoka: I've been living at the dojo for a little over 3 months and "I" 
still don't believe some of the stuff that happens around here

A-chan: has this place become that weird

Nodoka: weirder ... no one will even bat an eye ... and I should be able to 
create the transformation bracelets by breakfast

A-chan: [Rolling her eyes] it's no mystery to me were Ranma's ego came from

[just as breakfast is ending Nodoka enters with a small wooden box]

Nodoka: Ranma, Akane I have a gift for the two of you

Ranma: what

Nodoka: something an old friend gave me after he heard about your 
predicament

[Nodoka opens the box to reveal two bracelets shaped like dragons]

Akane: there beautiful but what are they

Nodoka: my friend explained that they were originally made by a Wizard that 
fell into the Nannichuan ... after she found she couldn't remove the curse 
herself she created these bracelets

Ranma: what for

Nodoka: the bracelets will change your clothing when you change forms

Ranma: COOL!!!!!!!!

Akane: why are there two of them

Nodoka: the Wizard that created them was notorious for misplacing things ... 
it said that the Wizard that created these also created hundreds of other 
similar artifacts

Ranma: this guy sounds as bad as Ryouga with direction's

Nodoka: ... well anyhow why don't you go try them out

[Ranma and Akane each grab one of the bracelets and run off]

Nodoka: [holding a small piece of paper] do you think they'll be back for 
the instructions

[suddenly two screens are heard upstairs]

Nodoka: no I don't suppose they will

[a few minutes later Ranma and Akane return with Akane now dressed in one 
of her usual outfits]

Akane: [adjusting her skirt] ....[thinking] this curse business suddenly 
got a whole lot better

Ranma: [adjusting his shirt] ... come on Akane let's go

Akane: where

Ranma: I don't know somewhere

[Ranma and Akane leave looking very happy]

Genma: ...[looking at Nodoka] I'm missing something aren't I

Nodoka: nothing of any importance dear

[later that day at u-Chan's Ukyou sits alone with a certain black piglet on 
her head]

Ukyou: ....[looking over a okonomiyaki recipe book]....  So P-chan feeling 
better yet

[the small black piglet just groans in pain]

Ukyou: I told you not to drink so much

[at this time Ranma-chan enters in a black battle skirt and red silk blouse 
accompanied by Akane who is in one of her usual outfits with the 
modification of a battle skirt]

Ukyou: why are you in that ran-chan

Ranma-chan: what don't you like it

Ukyou: yes but ...[looks over at Akane] ... something's up isn't it

[Ranma-chan and Akane just point to their wrists where they each have a 
transformation bracelet]

Ukyou: so what are they

Akane: sort of a Jusenkyo curse for our clothes

Ukyou: hun??

Akane: the bracelets change our clothes when we change forms

Ukyou: ...COOL!!

Ryouga-P-chan: [weekly] bwee

Ranma-chan: [looking at the very sick p-chan] what's wrong with you Ryouga

Ukyou: something about drinking too much sake

Akane: Ryouga drinking Sake!!

Ukyou: yeah and he only had 1 cup

Ranma-chan: so p-chan I guess you have a hangover

[P-chan just groans]

Ukyou: ....  I just remembered something Akane!!!

Akane: what

Ukyou: school starts Monday

[Akane goes white and Ranma turns a slight shade of pink]

Ukyou: how are you going to explain your curse to everyone at school

Akane: explaining it's easy living with it is going to be the hard part ... 
although these bracelets are going to be a BIG help

Ukyou: so how are you going to explain it

Akane: that's easy I'll blame it on Ranma ... he should only receive a few 
hundred angry challenges

Ranma-chan: ....  Why am I suddenly getting the nasty feeling that are 
Kunou problems are going to be squared

Akane: .... [Shivers] you don't mean

Ranma-chan: you better watch out for Kodachi

Ukyou: so how will the bracelets help

Akane: [grabbing a nearby cup of cold water] ... one visual demonstration 
coming up

[Akane pours the cold water over her head and changes in to Akane-kun]

Akane-kun: [now wearing a green gi and white pants] demonstration complete

Ukyou: that is so cool!!

Ranma-chan: ....[tapping her finger absentmindedly] .......

Akane-Kun: anything wrong

Ranma-chan: sort of ...

Ukyou: well spit it out then

Ranma-chan: no not right now [Ranma-chan gets up and leaves]

Akane-Kun: [looking intensely at Ranma-chan] ...[shakes his head] ...argh

Ukyou: ... were you just looking at Ranma's butt!!

Akane-Kun: [nods his head] ... yeah ....damm male libido ... it's screwing 
with my head ....  Especially when it comes to Ranma

Ukyou: does Ranma

Akane-Kun: yeah Ranma has a similar problem and it's really affected him

Ukyou: how has it affected you

Akane-kun: when it comes to Ranma nowadays my mind tends to wonder a bit 
more than it used to

Ukyou: what about with other girls

Akane-kun: no things like that don't even enter my mind

Ukyou: unless you're talking about Ranma

Akane-kun: yep

Ukyou: argh!!!! now I've got a headache

Akane-Kun: and I've got a migraine ...now if you'll excuse me

[Akane-Kun leaves]

[later back at the dojo Nodoka, Kasumi, and a-chan are having some tea 
while Nabiki watches TV and Soun and Genma are having a game of shoji when 
Ranma-chan enters still dressed in her Black battle skirt and red blouse 
while Nodoka, Kasumi, and a-chan don't even bat an eye at Ranma-Chan's 
attire Soun starts whaling and Genma starts barking off his usual speech 
about being a man to which Ranma-chan replies with a swift round house that 
knocks her father into the pond]

Nabiki: [taking pictures wildly while the currency depicted in her eyes is 
now that of the American dollar] ....[thinking] Ranma in a skirt and 
blouse ....  And wearing a bra and panties!!!!!!!

[Nabiki's mental musings are interrupted by Ranma-chan grabbing her camera 
and then Nabiki herself]

Ranma-chan: when Akane gets back tell her to come up to my room

Nodoka: find Ranma

[Ranma-chan leaves with Nabiki in tow]

Genma-panda: [using a sign that he is shoving in to Nodoka's face] why is 
my SON wearing a skirt woman

Nodoka: [dead panned] probably because right now Ranma's a she and not a he

[a few minutes later Akane-kun enters the dojo with his wet shirt draped 
over his back causing Soun to start whaling again while Genma-panda just 
stares]

A-chan: [giving her now male daughter the once over] nice pecks son

[Akane-Kun just smiles and then flexes causing his father to do an 
imitation of Niagara Falls]

Nodoka: Ranma-chan said she wants you to go to her room

Akane-Kun: why

Nodoka: something to do with Nabiki I suspect considering she was dragging 
her off

[Akane-Kun shrugs his shoulders and walks off towards Ranma's room]

A-chan: if Akane's not careful "he's" going to have every girl in school 
after him

Nodoka: true

[meanwhile in Ranma's room Nabiki is busily incinerating film while Ranma-
chan goes through her feminine wardrobe when Akane-Kun enters with his 
shirt still draped over his shoulder seeing this Nabiki nearly has a heart 
attack and drops her camera which Ranma-chan quickly catches]

Ranma-chan: [giving Nabiki her camera back] ... here Nabiki

Nabiki: ...[thinking] ... something's wrong here under any normal 
circumstance Ranma would have destroyed my camera by now and [looks over at 
Akane] ... what's up with Akane ...and why am I getting the sinking feeling 
that "I'm" about to be blackmailed ... big-time

Ranma-chan: Akane I need to talk to you for a second 

[Ranma-chan and Akane-Kun begin to whisper into each other's ears]

Akane-Kun: are you sure you want to do that

Ranma-chan: yeah it should solve more problems then it creates ... Nabiki 
we need your ... mercenary talents

Nabiki: [scared shit less] what for

Ranma-chan: we need you to start a couple of rumors about me

Nabiki: [now scared beyond the point of making money] ....  You !!!WANT!!! 
me to start a rumor about you

Ranma-chan: two actually

Nabiki: [now feeling in extreme case of role reversal] what are you going 
to blackmail me with

Ranma-chan: this isn't about black mailing you but if you let out more then 
I specifically tell you you'll be paying a pain tax collected by Kasumi

Nabiki: [now scared beyond rational thought] ...[gulps] a pain tax from ... 
Kasumi!!!!!

Akane-Kun: yep

Nabiki: [sheepishly] do I get to make any money

Ranma-chan: you'll be rolling in American dollars got it

Nabiki: okay what kind of rumor do you want me to start

Ranma-chan: the first rumor has to do with my sexuality ... or lack thereof 
and the second rumor has to do with the fact that I'm now wearing female 
attire without my mother trying to make shish-kabob out of me

Nabiki: [multiple dollar signs in her eyes] these rumors wouldn't happen to 
be true would they

Ranma-chan: yes they would be true but if anyone asks me about the one that 
has to do with my sexuality I will deny it

Nabiki: [even more dollar signs appearing in her eyes] okay so what do you 
want me to say

[later after Ranma-chan has told Nabiki what she has to do]

Nabiki: [about a thousand dollar signs coming out of each eye] ... I'll be 
richer then Kunou!! ... Ranma if there's anything you ever want its yours 
for free ...

[Nabiki runs off with the proverbial cat that ate the canary look plastered 
on her face along with a ear to ear all teeth smile]

Akane-Kun: that last bit was scary

Ranma-chan: agreed she looked like some junkie that just found the mother 
load

Akane-Kun: yeah and she was practically foaming at the mouth

[suddenly maniacal laugh number 255 is heard from Nabiki's room]

Ranma-chan: and I thought that was scary coming from Kodachi [shivers]

Akane-Kun: so what are we going to do until school starts tomorrow

Ranma-chan: ...[takes a deep breath] as per your eldest sisters request I 
am now your Sansei ... meet me in the training hall in five minutes in your 
normal form

[Ranma-chan leaves a very confused Akane-Kun]

Akane-Kun: hum I suppose I should get some hot water

-[back to school]-

[early morning at the Tendo dojo where Ranma and Akane are training out 
side near the koi pond much to the chagrin of Soun and Genma]

A-chan: she's doing quite well isn't she Nodoka

Nodoka: ... she's still nothing compared to Ranma

[Kasumi enters the dining room with breakfast]

Kasumi: breakfasts ready

[Ranma and Akane promptly fall into the koi pond and a few seconds later a 
very soggy Ranma-chan and Akane-kun enter and walk upstairs to get a change 
of clothes and return a few moments later]

Akane-kun: ...[looking at Kasumi while thinking] I'm beginning to think she 
does that on purpose

Nabiki: [grabbing her school bag which is bulging slightly] well I've got 
to go

[Nabiki leaves] 

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] I wonder what will happen when we get to school

[after breakfast Ranma and Akane walk along the fence to school]

Akane: so what kind of reception do you think we'll get

Ranma: probably one of each some people will try to kill me over getting 
you cursed some will be sympathetic to me because of the rumors Nabiki is 
spreading ... and no doubt some weirdo will try to ask me out on a date 
next time I'm in female form

Akane: ... do you think the same will happen to me

Ranma: yep a lot of people are going to be very nice to you while some 
girls after they see you in your cursed form are going to ask you on a date

Akane: what about Kunou

Ranma: ... predictably he'll start calling you a demon when you're in 
cursed form and continue to act perfectly abnormal when you're not in 
cursed form

Akane: and his sister

Ranma: the same in reverse

[a few minutes later Ranma and Akane arrive at school to find the most 
unusual site of a full-scale verbal brawl between portions of the student 
body that have broken off into factions]

Nabiki: [walking up to a very confused Ranma and Akane] ... you want a 
quick rundown of what's happened

[Ranma and Akane just nod their heads]

Nabiki: well upon hearing the new news the student body has split into 
several factions ... the first is kill Ranma because he got Akane cursed 
the second is leave poor Ranma alone because of what the curse has done to 
him in that way the third is a group that actually likes the idea of a 
full-time female Ranma the fourth is committed to preserving Ranma has a 
boy the fifth wants to date Ranma's female half and the 6th is all of your 
usual friends who are committed to helping you two keep your sanity

Akane: what no factions for me

Nabiki: give it time sis once they see you in your cursed form they'll be 
at least three factions for you

Ranma: ....hum where's Kunou

Nabiki: he was muttering something about another foul magi last time I saw 
him ... and those pictures of you in your new female attire are selling 
faster than Ukyou's okonomiyaki with a side of shampoo's r?man

Akane: and what about the ones you took of me

Nabiki: there won't be any demand until somebody dumps a bucket of cold 
water on you sis

[Nabiki leaves and Ranma and Akane stand there stupefied at the verbal 
brawl in the school yard when one Tatewaki Kunou begins his usual speech 
attracting the attention of everyone in the school yard to him, Ranma, and 
Akane]

Ranma: ...hi Kunou what's happening

[Kunou charges but After a short battle with Akane's mallet is headed over 
the horizon]

Ranma: [looking at the direction Kunou left in] hum I wonder where he'll 
land

Akane: who cares let's just get to class before we get bucket duty

[at this particular time Kami decides a freak scattered shower should land 
right on top of Ranma and Akane and as the two transform both in sex and 
clothing a collective "oh my" is heard from the crowd] 

Akane-Kun: ...the Kami must have been behind that one Ranma

Ranma-chan: [adjusting her blouse] agreed

[the two shape shifters enter the high school without another word to 
themselves or to the gathered crowd]

[later around lunch time both Ranma and Akane's friends including Ukyou, 
Daisuke, Hiroshi, Sayuki, and Yuka sit at a single table grilling Akane 
while Ukyou grills some okonomiyaki that Ranma quickly inhales]

Yuka: so what's it like Akane

Akane: give me a break all ready I've only had the curse for a few days ... 
and frankly getting reacquainted with my mother is more important to me 
right now

Sayuki: then what Nabiki was saying was true your mother really is alive

Akane: yeah

Daisuke: so how did your clothes change this morning

Akane: [points to her transformation bracelet] this little thing

Hiroshi: where did you get it

Akane: Ranma's mother said an old friend gave her these

Sayuki: ... so Ranma are any of the rumors true

Ranma: [just finishing his okonomiyaki] ... what rumors

Hiroshi:  the ones that Nabiki has been making ridiculous amounts of money 
with

Ranma: ... I repeat what rumors

[after Daisuke hands Ranma a pamphlet describing the two rumors]

Ranma: well the one about my sexuality is ridiculous but the one about my 
mom putting me through girl training is true

[everyone but Ukyou and Akane face-fault]

Daisuke: man that had to be a long month

Ranma: naa I kind of had fun with it ... I guess what mom said was true

Sayuki: what did your mom say

Ranma: that I'm both a boy and a girl

[everyone face faults again]

Ukyou: so did anything interesting happen to you last month

Ranma: no nothing that hasn't happened since I got the curse

[the Bell rings]

[later that day after school at U-Chan's a slightly soggy Ranma-chan enters 
while outside Akane-Kun who is missing his shirt is being chased by several 
girls]

Ukyou: hum where did Akane's shirt get to

Ranma-chan: [holding said shirt]  ... right here

Ukyou: what happened

Ranma-chan: we fell into the reservoir and Akane was ringing out his shirt 
when that group of girls spotted him

Ukyou: aren't you going to go help

Ranma-chan: naa Akane needs to know what it feels like to be in my shoes

[at this time a very tired looking Akane-Kun enters while still looking 
frantically out the window to see if he has lost the group of girls]

Akane-Kun: [gasping for breath] ... 

Ukyou: you ok A-kun

Akane-Kun: yeah just get me some hot water and my shirt quick!!

[Ranma-chan throws Akane-Kun his shirt which he quickly puts on]

Akane-kun: thanks Ranma

[at this time the group of girls can be seen running by u-Chan's but do not 
see Akane-Kun who visibly relaxes and sits down by Ranma-chan and Ukyou at 
the grill]

Ukyou: ...Ranma ... I've been wondering about something you said at lunch

Ranma-chan: what

Ukyou: you said "no nothing that hasn't happened since I got the curse"

Ranma-chan: yeah what about it

Ukyou: what did you mean by that

Ranma-chan: [whispering in Ukyou's ear] it means I have a period just like 
you do u-chan

[needless to say Ukyou is completely floored]

Ukyou: [having extreme trouble speaking] WHAT

Ranma-chan: you heard me ... just don't tell anyone

[Ukyou just nods dumbfoundedly and goes to get a kettle of water to heat 
up]

[later after Ranma and Akane had eaten they leave]

Ukyou: [thinking] Ranma having a PERIOD!....  I never thought that the damm 
curse went that far ...... by kami and now Akane's!! ... my last hope of 
ever getting him has just gone down the proverbial drain [Ukyou starts 
crying just as Ryouga comes in]

Ryouga: Ukyou what's wrong

Ukyou: [still crying] Ranma that's what

Ryouga: [getting angry] what did he do to you

Ukyou: [crying] nothing Ryouga ... it's what the damm curse did to him and 
now Akane ....  I'll never be able to get him to marry me now 

[Ukyou starts crying like Soun and Ryouga tries to comfort her with little 
success]

-[a slumber party]-

[meanwhile back at the dojo Ranma-chan still in her battle skirt is 
brooding about something while outside by the pond Akane-kun is practicing 
a kata when Genma enters]

Genma: why are you in that boy

[Ranma-chan just raises an eyebrow and turns around to watch Akane-kun just 
as Nodoka enters]

Nodoka: ...[deciding to be mischievous] ... anything wrong daughter

Ranma-chan: hum... no just waiting till Akane masters that kata

[by this time Genma is fuming]

Nodoka: you sure

Ranma-chan: yeah ...[looks up at her mother's face which has a do something 
mischievous look on it] ... just having a few cramps nothing major

[at this time Genma becomes bleached white and faints]

Nodoka: [stifling a laugh] ... good one

Ranma-chan: [smiling] I figured that one would knock him out

Nodoka: so what's really wrong

Ranma-chan: something Akane said once is bugging me

Nodoka: what

Ranma-chan: she said that I'm not romantic 

Nodoka: is that why you're in female form right now

Ranma-chan: hum... no after Akane masters that kata were going to practice 
against each other in are cursed forms

Nodoka: so do you want to become more romantic

Ranma-chan: ... not if romantic has anything to do with those cheesy 
romance Mangas

Nodoka: no it doesn't ... why don't you ask Akane what she thinks is 
romantic. you might find you have a lot in common with each other

Ranma-chan: ok mom

Nodoka: [whispers something into Ranma's ear] so

Ranma-chan: why not I'm always up for something to make pop sweat

Nodoka: good ... I'll go invite shampoo and Ukyou to make sure things stay 
interesting

Ranma-chan: [smiles] sometimes you are way to mischievous mom

Nodoka: [smiles] ... I like harassing my idiot of a husband to you know

[a while later at the cat Café]

Cologne: what!! ... and Ranma's invited ...what it's HER slumber party ... 
No-kun have you finally gone schizoid after all these years ... oh!! The 
whole thing is to screw with Genma and Soun's mind ... okay I'll make sure 
shampoo gets there with a bra on ...[hangs up the phone] ...No-kun 
sometimes you can be weirder than Ranma ... not many but

Mousse: who's No-kun

Cologne: Nodoka Saotome mousse

Mousse: [Raising an eyebrow] ... so what's Ranma up to this time

Cologne: a girls slumber party

Mousse: ....[raising his other eyebrow] whose idea was this

Cologne: No-kun's

Mousse: and Ranma is going to be there

Cologne: yep it's "HER" slumber party and shampoo's invited as long as she 
wears a bra

Mousse: ... and I thought Kasumi using a katana was weird

[meanwhile at Ukyou's apartment Ukyou is recovering from the dinner crowd 
when the phone rings]

Ukyou: [answering the phone] moshi-moshi .... Miss Saotome ... a slumber 
party ... ran-Chan's slumber party ... I'm invited so who else is going to 
be there ... Kasumi, Akane, and shampoo and occasionally you and a-chan 
will pop in ... okay tell ran-chan I'll be there ......... WHAT!! ...um no 
I don't have a problem with that but ... well if you say so [hangs up the 
phone] an all girls slumber party in nothing but female underwear I think 
Ranma's mother has finally flipped ... and why is Kasumi invited?

[meanwhile back in Ranma's room Ranma-chan looks through her feminine 
wardrobe while Nodoka looks through Ranma's masculine wardrobe]

Nodoka: [noticing the extreme lack of selection in Ranma's male 
wardrobe] ... you know what son

Ranma-chan: what

Nodoka: you really need to expand your male wardrobe

Ranma-chan: [raising an eyebrow while she looks at said wardrobe] hum your 
right ... and so does Akane

Nodoka: very true

[at this time Kasumi enters in some very lacy female under garments covered 
only by a night gown that is not very concealing to the fact she is 
carrying a katana]

Nodoka: I hope Nabiki didn't see you in that

Kasumi: naa she didn't she's way to busy extorting Kunou tonight to even 
bother leaving her room

[suddenly maniacal laugh number 128 is heard from Nabiki's room]

Kasumi: ... hear what I mean

Ranma-chan: she must be taking maniacal laughter lessons from Kodachi or 
something

Nodoka: [giggling] true

[at this time Soun walks by and faints at the site of his eldest daughters 
current attire]

Kasumi: oops guess I should've closed the door

A-chan: [walking up behind Soun and then looking in to see Kasumi] ... 
pathetic sometimes isn't he

[a-chan drags Soun away and Kasumi closes the door]

Kasumi: [sitting down Indian style while she puts her katana over her 
lap] ... I wonder what's taking Akane so long

[on cue someone starts to enter]

Ranma-chan: who is it

Genma: me you fool

[Genma enters to see Ranma-chan in nothing but her underwear while Nodoka 
is still prodding Ranma's male wardrobe to find anything else but black 
pants or a red or white shirt needless to say Genma becomes slightly miffed 
and starts going into one of his usual speeches about Ranma acting like a 
man]

Nodoka: Genma dear [her hand on her hip right next to her katana] Ranma-
chan is going to have a slumber party tonight so this room is off limits to 
all men until tomorrow morning understand

Genma: but...

Nodoka: good now go chew on some bamboo or something [puts her hand on her 
katana]

[Genma quickly leaves]

Kasumi: [hanging from the ceiling] do you think he'll ever realize that 
you're not going to kill him

Nodoka: no

Kasumi: [dropping to the floor] true

Ranma-chan: ...[thinking] I've GOT to figure out how ninjas do that one of 
these days

[at this time Akane enters in some average looking underwear but quickly 
sees that even her own sister the usually reserved one has completely out 
done her so she turns around to go puts something more daring on while 
mumbling]

Akane: [leaving] if Kasumi can be THAT daring so can I

Kasumi: [acting very sexy while using her always innocent tone of voice] am 
I really being that daring

[Nodoka and Ranma-chan just face-fault while Kasumi giggles maniacally and 
a few minutes later Akane reenters in something a lot more lacy]

Nodoka: [still looking at Ranma's near endless supply of red and white 
shirts when the familiar sound of the dojo wall cracking open is heard] hum 
I guess shampoo is here

[Nodoka leaves and Kasumi appears to vanish]

Akane: [blinks] hum sis where did you go

Kasumi: [hanging from the ceiling] up here sis

Ranma-chan: how do ninjas do that Kasumi

Kasumi: [smiles] trade secret

[a few moments later Ukyou and shampoo are escorted in by Nodoka who does 
not enter]

Shampoo: where nice sister pervert girl

Akane: hanging around

Ukyou: is it really true that she used a katana

Ranma-chan: why don't you ask her [points up]

[seeing the eldest Tendo sister in lacy underwear and hanging upside down 
from the ceiling while holding a katana Ukyou and shampoo royally freak]

Kasumi: [jumping down from the ceiling] what don't you like my current 
attire

[Shampoo starts to cower in a corner at the site of Kasumi Tendo holding a 
deadly katana while Ukyou instinctively grabs her battle spatula]

Ukyou: [ready to draw her battle spatula] Kasumi has some demon gotten a 
hold of you again

Kasumi: [sitting down] no

Ukyou: then why are you carrying around a deadly sword

Kasumi: [her voice flat] you got a better thing for the heir of the Black 
orchid to carry around [produces a ninja throwing star out of nowhere and 
throws it in the direction of shampoo

Shampoo: [looking at the throwing star which has killed a fly that was two 
inches from her head] shampoo faint now

[shampoo faints while Ukyou is about ready to have a heart attack]

Ukyou: [stuttering] the ....  Black .... Orchid

Kasumi: not currently U-chan

Ukyou: then who is

A-chan: [standing two inches behind Ukyou] I am

[at this Ukyou jumps and ends up in another corner]

Ukyou: who are you

A-chan: I'm Akane's mother

Ukyou: [her heart in her throat] you're Akane's mother!!

A-chan: [playing with her blue hair] what don't you see the resemblance

[A-chan leaves and Ukyou manages to swallow her heart]

Ranma-chan: you ok Ukyou

Ukyou: yeah just a little shaken ..[glares over at Kasumi who is using some 
smelling salts on shampoo] ... Kasumi is your mother really the Black 
orchid

Kasumi: yep

[Hearing this the barely conscious shampoo becomes fully conscious and 
backs herself even farther into her corner]

Kasumi: [her voice now containing her usual tone of innocence while her 
face portrays a look of a hardened warrior] now shampoo I want you to 
behave tonight [pointing the ninja throwing star at shampoo]

[the now VERY scared Amazon just nods her head fiercely as Kasumi leaves 
for the kitchen]

Ukyou: [coming out of her corner] why didn't you tell us about this Ranma

Ranma-chan: wasn't my business to tell you or even Akane's for that matter

Ukyou: hum ...

Shampoo: Shampoo scared very scared ....  Akane's sister very deadly

Ranma-chan: don't be frightened Kasumi is still Kasumi even if she does 
happen to be a deadly ninja

Ukyou: ran-Chan's right Kasumi is still Kasumi even if she is a ninja and I 
mean we've dealt with ninjas before right

Shampoo: but they not Kasumi

Ukyou: I know ... [thinking] and they most certainly weren't the "Black 
Orchid"!!

[At this time Kasumi reenters with a wide array of snacks and junk food]

Kasumi: lets get this party on the road

[meanwhile back in the dining room Nodoka and a-chan are having some tea 
while by the koi pond Genma-panda absentmindedly eats some bamboo and 
nearby Soun does his imitation of Niagara Falls while the sounds of the 
party upstairs are occasionally punctuated with maniacal laughter from 
Nabiki's room]

A-chan: [sighs] why did we ever marry those two No-kun

Nodoka: something about settling down with a couple of nice guys

A-chan: but why did we have to be such lousy judges of character

Nodoka: we didn't miss judge their character we miss judged the length of 
their spines

A-chan: they had perfectly fine spines until Happosai got a hold of them

Nodoka: I know [cracking her knuckles] if he wasn't ... I would really 
clean his perverted clock

A-chan: it's a miracle those two managed to seal him up

Nodoka: more like 20 miracles

A-chan: true

[at this time Nodoka and a-chan start talking in an ancient language]

[meanwhile back in Ranma's room Ukyou and shampoo are busily looking 
through Ranma-Chan's wardrobe while Akane and Ranma-chan just face-fault on 
the other side of the room]

Ranma-chan: you'd think they've never seen a wardrobe before

Akane: I don't think they expected YOU to have that much variety

Ranma-chan: yeah mom was saying I need more variety in my male wardrobe

Akane: you do even Kunou's got more clothes then you do

Ranma-chan: ....  And you do to you know

Akane: no I don't I've got plenty of variety in my wardrobe

Ranma-chan: in your female wardrobe yes but in your male wardrobe ... well 
you got even less variety than I do

Akane: [face-faulting] tomorrow after school

Ranma-chan: yep ...[looks over at Ukyou and shampoo who are looking through 
her dresses] get out of there you two 

[Ukyou and shampoo stop cold]

Ukyou: awfully protective of your wardrobe aren't you

Ranma-chan: [being truthful] hey a girl's got to make sure no one misses up 
her clothes

[hearing this Akane just face faults while shampoo and Ukyou develop a 
shocked look on their faces]

Ukyou: you ok ran-chan

Ranma-chan: yeah I'm ok

Ukyou: you're sure

Ranma-chan: yes I'm ok ...[deciding to totally freak shampoo out] its not 
like I'm having my period or anything

[thud!!]

Ukyou: ...[looking at shampoo] you did that one on purpose didn't you ran-
chan

Ranma-chan: [being cute] who me

[Akane and Ukyou just roll their eyes]

Ukyou: aren't you taking this girl thing a little too far

Ranma-chan: ... what do you mean?

Ukyou: you're not serious about having a period are you

Ranma-chan: actually Ukyou my last one WAS about a week and a half ago and 
Akane can vouch that it was a particularly bad one

[Ukyou looks over at Akane]

Akane: she's telling the truth Ukyou ...and you haven't seen anything until 
you've seen Ranma have a BAD period

Ukyou: you two have got to be joking me

Ranma-chan: nope afraid not

Ukyou: ... I don't believe you ran-chan

[Ranma-chan gets up and walks over to her closet and pulls out a box of 
tampons and throws them to Ukyou who gives off a little screen]

Ukyou: [mortified] you're serious!!

Ranma-chan: yeah ...and the cool thing's they stay put even if I 
transform ...[scratching her chin] I still can't figure out how though...

Ukyou: [throwing the box back to Ranma-chan] ....how long

Kasumi: [hanging from the ceiling while having some potato chips] since I 
found her throwing up one day in the bathroom when everyone was out

Ranma-chan: [putting the box away] and many thanks to you for explaining 
everything Kasumi ... because at the time I thought I was honestly dying

Kasumi: [still hanging from the ceiling] no problem Ranma-chan

Ukyou: [developing a severe migraine while thinking] this is too weird

Akane: you ok Ukyou

Ukyou: no I've got a migraine

Kasumi: [pulling a bottle of strangely colored medicine out of nowhere] 
here Ukyou [throws the bottle to Ukyou]

Ukyou: what is it

Kasumi: a remedy for migraines it tastes horrible but BELIEVE ME it works 
miracles

[Ukyou downs the strangely colored medicine]

Ukyou: [drinking some soda to wash away the taste of the medicine] well at 
least my headache's gone ....... [looks up at Kasumi suspiciously and then 
thumbs her finger at Akane]

Kasumi: what can I say little sister you’re a lousy cook but an excellent 
chemist

[Akane tear drops big-time]

Kasumi: ...it took five weeks for Cologne and Dr. tofu to reproduce that 
formula accurately ... they figure it was originally supposed to be some 
kind of stir fry ....  So they call it "Akane's patented stir fry migraine 
eliminator"

Ranma-chan: [tasting some of the liquid left in the bottle]... so that's 
why I never got a headache that week

[by this time Akane is vein popping]

Akane: do you always find such interesting uses for my cooking Kasumi

Kasumi: yeah everything from a way to clear up a serious head cold to some 
really nice knockout gas 

Akane: [sweat dropping] you can't be serious

Kasumi: afraid so ... your cooking attempts can keep Dr. tofu and Cologne 
busy for months while they try to discover uses for your serums

Akane: sis will you please teach me how to cook for real

Kasumi: if you'll teach me how to be such a good chemist I'll think about 
it

Akane: [face-faulting] I'll try [gives Ranma-chan the evil eye]

Ranma-chan: what I didn't do anything honest

Akane: [sighs] I know ....

Ukyou: [thinking] Akane's food useful for anything but a replacement for 
nerve toxins ... and Ranma having a period ... it's a good thing that 
migraine stuff's so strong are I would have a lulu right now

[at this time shampoo regains consciousness]

Shampoo: shampoo need strong headache medicine

[Kasumi throws shampoo another bottle of "Akane's patented stir fry 
migraine eliminator"]

Shampoo: ack!! Taste like Akane's cooking ... but still work

[Akane just face faults while everyone else tries to keep a straight face]

Shampoo: play game now

Kasumi: truth or dare

Ukyou: just as long as Ranma doesn't have any instant Nannichuan left

A-chan: [now on the ceiling with Kasumi] what does instant Nannichuan have 
to do with a game of truth or dare

Ranma-chan: a long story a-chan

Ukyou: [looking up to see a-chan drinking some soda on the ceiling] ... how 
do you do that

A-chan: [smiles] trade secret

Kasumi: [having some soda while still hanging from the ceiling] why don't 
you start off Ranma after all this is your slumber party and we're just 
hanging around

A-chan: Kasumi that was a BAD joke

Ranma-chan: [giggles] ok ... shampoo do you like mousse enough to go out on 
a date with him

Shampoo: ....  Shampoo take dare

Akane: bad move shampoo

Ranma-chan: my dare is you have to go out on a date with mousse within the 
next week

[at this point shampoo's face turns as purple as her hair and she starts 
mumbling profanities in Chinese]

Shampoo: fine shampoo take mousse on date

Ranma-chan: not what I said shampoo I said mousse would take you out on a 
date

[shampoo starts grumbling and mumbling profanities this time in Japanese 
before she agrees]

Ukyou: [thinking] damm ran-chan is good at this game

Ranma-chan: ....  Ukyou what are your feelings towards Ryouga

Ukyou: [confused] hum [thinking] I can't lie or I'll end up on a date with 
him like poor shampoo but considering ... [aloud] I don't really know

Ranma-chan: [looking at Ukyou's confused expression] ok Ukyou I see your 
telling the truth ... Kasumi ... since when do you like lacy underwear

Kasumi: [giggles] since always silly

Ranma-chan: a-chan what's your real name

A-chan: Akane is my real name

Ranma-chan: ...[smiles deeply] Akane what do you consider romantic

[Akane turns bright red]

Akane: dare 

Ranma-chan: [whispers something into Akane's ear] ...ok

Akane: ok Ranma

Ukyou: my turn next shampoo ....

-[a romantic date on the roof]-

[the day after the slumber party Ranma-chan and Akane wake up in Ranma's 
room to find their guests have already left]

Ranma-chan: [scratching her right breast absentmindedly] mourning already

Akane: [scratching her left breast absentmindedly] ...hun ... oh morning 
already

[Ranma-chan walks over to her closet and starts changing her underwear]

Akane: [yawning] do you mind if I take the first bath

Ranma-chan: [putting on a white blouse while holding a blue battle 
skirt] ... no

[Akane leaves]

Ranma-chan: [putting on the blue battle skirt just as her father 
enters] ...oh hi pop

Genma: [fuming] why are you wearing that boy

[Ranma-chan just points to her transformation bracelet to which Genma just 
groans]

Genma: [mumbling] rotten No-chan [Genma plops down on his futon and 
promptly falls asleep]

[a little while later down in the dining room Ranma-chan sips some tea 
while she waits for some hot water]

Nabiki: [looking at Ranma-Chan's attire and noticing the fact that Ranma-
chan is wearing a bra] ... aren't you taking this dressing like a girl when 
a girl thing a little to far

Ranma-chan: [taking a sip of her tea] what are you jealous that I look 
better than you do Nabiki

[Nabiki face faults and Kasumi chooses that moment to enter with some hot 
water]

Ranma-chan: ahh thanks Kasumi

[Ranma-chan uses the water on herself and changes back into Ranma who is 
dressed in his usual red shirt and black pants before leaving]

Nabiki: hum [thinking] no what I'm really jealous of is that damm bracelet 
allows you to get away with it

[at this time Akane enters dressed in a light yellow blouse and green 
slacks]

Akane: [sitting down at the table] so sis how much money did you get out of 
Kunou last night

Nabiki: [smiling demonically] a quarter of a billion yen little sister

Akane: youch what did you sell him

Nabiki: all the pictures of Ranma in his new attire as well as several of 
the videos of you and him training in both forms

Akane: he's your favorite pigeon isn't he

Nabiki: [sighs] if he wasn't so much of an idiot and entranced by you and 
his "pigtailed goddess" I'd actually like the guy

[Nabiki leaves with a half love sick look on her face]

Kasumi: [raising an eyebrow] that was weird

Akane: yeah it looks like she's actually in love with him

Kasumi: she always has been one for the handsome Samurai coming to the 
rescue

Akane: [surprised] really!!

[Kasumi just shrugs her shoulders]

Akane: [thinking] Kunou and Nabiki ... for some strange reason that seems 
right ...but if I ever find out the reason I'll probably have a mental 
break down so I definitely don't want to know ...[aloud] do you think we 
should play match maker sis

Kasumi: don't look at me I'm still trying to get Dr. tofu to stop going 
schizoid every time I enter the room

Akane: out of curiosity why does he do that

Kasumi: hum let's just say my cooking wasn't always so good 
sis ...[thinking] and I put him in the hospital for a week as a result

[Kasumi leaves]

Akane: I'll have to ask Dr. tofu about that

[at this time Soun and a-chan enter along with Nodoka]

A-chan: [smiling broadly] good morning Akane

Akane: morning mom [smiles and thinks] it's so good to have a mom again

[a few minutes later Ranma enters and starts eating at 500 miles in hour 
much to the surprise of a-chan]

A-chan: [whispering to Soun] does he always eat that fast

Soun: yeah

A-chan: just checking

[later after Ranma and Akane's now normal morning training session the two 
depart for school]

Ranma: [walking along the ground while Akane is walking on the fence] ....

Akane: anything wrong

Ranma: hum I'm just not feeling very manly today that's all

Akane: why not

Ranma: [shrugs his shoulders] I don't know maybe I'm just having a "girl 
day"

Akane: then I dare you to spend the entire day as a girl

Ranma: ..hum fine I just hope no one tries to slug me in the girls locker 
room

Akane: I'll get the word out before you get their ok

[by the time Ranma-chan and Akane get to school Ranma has obviously changed 
into a girl ... courtesy of the ladle lady of course and the reception they 
receive from Kunou at least is perfectly ordinary while the 100% girl Ranma 
faction of the school's student body cheer while Ranma-chan groans and the 
I want to date you as a girl Ranma faction quietly write love letters that 
Nabiki takes for a small fee ... also three new factions devoted to Akane 
of course have appeared so by the time Ranma-chan and Akane get to home 
room they're glad they brought some of "Akane's patented stir fry migraine 
eliminator"]

Ranma-chan: bottoms up

[both Ranma-chan and Akane drink the awful tasting liquid]

Akane: yuck is my cooking really that bad

Ranma-chan: well it's improved since you made the recipe that this stuff 
was based on but not by much

Akane: ...[deciding not to boot Ranma out the window] gee thanks

[by the time lunch rolls around Ranma-chan has become truly fed up with 
four of the six factions that are after her especially the ones that want 
to date him and is truly thankful for the fact no one wants to get anywhere 
close to the sixth faction for fear a being beaten into a pulp by said 
factions okonomiyaki chef that happens to carry around a very large battle 
spatula]

Yuka: you ok Ranma

Ranma-chan: let me see Nabiki's delivered at least 30 love letters I've had 
girls shoving idiotic and cheesy romance Mangas into my face and hordes of 
both boys and girls offering me at least a total of a hundred gallons of 
hot water ... the only bright side is everyone seems to like pummeling 
Kunou for me

Sayuki: and what about you Akane

Akane: 25 love letters for my male side , at least a hundred gallons of 
cold water, and way too many mega-violent American comics

Ranma-chan: yeah those things are ludicrous

Daisuke: so are you going to go to gym class as a girl

Ranma-chan: yeah ... and no I will not help you drill a hole in the wall

Hiroshi: Damm

Ranma-chan: and you two better get your minds out of the gutter before I 
decide to spike the hot tub with some instant Nyannichuan

Daisuke: sorry Ranma didn't mean to get you angry

Hiroshi: yeah it was just a joke

[Daisuke and Hiroshi make a hasty exit]

Ukyou: would you really have spiked the hot tub on the boys side with 
instant Nyannichuan

Ranma-chan: naa well at least not today considering I don't have any with 
me ... but give me a week or so and will see if I can't arrange a practical 
joke of that nature

Ukyou: so are you going to spike the girls hot tub with instant Nannichuan 
on the same day while you and Akane are conveniently sick

Ranma-chan: what do you think Akane

Akane: [giving Ranma her usual I'm going to kill you for even thinking of 
that look] ....[smiles] why not no one's pulled a practical joke of that 
caliber in a long time

Ukyou: what kind of practical joke could even come close to the one Ran-
chan just thought up

Akane: Nabiki and company switched all of the clothes in the boys and girls 
locker rooms

Ukyou: wow now that's a practical joke for the record books

Ranma-chan: hum why don't we have Nabiki help us Akane

[later that day Ranma-chan fumes a bit about a group of girls that decided 
to splash her with hot water while she was trying to take a cold shower 
after gym class]

Ranma-chan: perverts .... bakas ... didn't they know that my transformation 
bracelet would just put my male clothes back on

Akane: no I don't suppose they did

Ranma-chan: it's a good thing I remembered to keep wearing it even in the 
shower

Akane: it's certainly was

Ranma-chan: did they try to do the same thing to you yesterday

Akane: yep but I was wearing my transformation bracelet as well

Ranma-chan: these bracelets make the curse more than bearable you know that

Akane: yep and they also seem to dry the clothes you're not wearing as an 
added bonus

Ranma-chan: if we ever meet the Wizard that designed these things I'm going 
to give her a big vote of thanks

[Ranma-chan and Akane arrive at the dojo to find Soun and Genma playing 
shoji and Nodoka and a-chan sparing while Kasumi and Nabiki watch]

Akane: [looking at the scene] everything in its place eh

Ranma-chan: let's just go change and go shopping like we agreed 
yesterday ... I doubt they'll even notice were here

[Ranma-chan and Akane each go to find some water of appropriate temperature 
and leave the dojo a few minutes later as Ranma and Akane-Kun and return a 
few hours later with several bags]

Akane-Kun: [seeing the scene has not changed at all] yep you were right 
they didn't even notice we were gone

Ranma: [holding a large bag] well let's go inside

[later in Ranma's room Ranma is just finishing putting away his new male 
attire when Akane enters]

Ranma: hi Akane got everything put away already

Akane: yep

Ranma: well [holding out his arm] shall we go out on our romantic date

Akane: before we go what do you consider romantic

Ranma: ... I don't know really but I'll tell you the silly things that make 
me happy ... about half of which I can't really enjoy any more because of 
the curse ... a clear starry night without a cloud in the sky or even the 
moon [looks over at his calendar and then outside the window] ... I also 
like flying, the first time I flew I forgot about all of my problems ... I 
still remember that day the first time I rode on an airplane ... I also 
like the endless beauty of the forest ... especially when pop's snoring 
doesn't mess it up ... those are the things that I still enjoy today like 
I've always enjoyed them

Akane: what are the things that you can't enjoy today

Ranma: I still enjoy them but not in the same way I used to ... a spring 
rain ....  A bone chillingly cold shower ... and a dip in a cold 
stream .......... and what do you consider romantic

Akane: a starry night with out a cloud in the sky ...[thinking] in the 
middle of the forest butt naked with you Ranma ... maybe someday that 
little fantasy will come true

Ranma: [looking outside and up to the sky] tonight's the new moon Akane and 
the sky is perfectly clear

Akane: [smiles] perhaps kami-sama is nudging us in the ribs

Ranma: yes perhaps the kami is

[meanwhile behind the training hall in enchanted staff quietly radiates a 
cloud ward spell courtesy of Nodoka who sits quietly in the dining room 
sipping tea]

Ranma: how bout a star lit dinner on the roof ... and I'll cook

Akane: what about

Ranma: I'll have Kasumi say that you're cooking something for me

Akane: [fuming at the truth] ...... well that WILL clear the dojo ... 

Ranma: tell you what Akane the first training mission we go on together 
I'll teach you how to cook something other than headache remedies

[Akane gives a half smile half frown to Ranma]

[later that night Ranma and Akane sit on the roof beside a makeshift table 
and eat]

Akane: [looking at the sky] beautiful isn't it

Ranma: [looking up at the sky as well] yes it is but I can think of 
something more beautiful that's a lot closer than a few million light years 
away

Akane: [blushing] oh Ranma

Ranma: [taking a deep breath while he looks off at a suspiciously dark 
patch of sky] how long have we loved each other Akane

Akane: I don't know 

Ranma: I believe the first time I started loving you was just before you 
hit that softball into my face which by the way totally ruined my mood

Akane: [giggles] after you told me I look cute when I smile I started 
loving you

Ranma: [sighs deeply] why did we have to be such a pair of thick headed 
block heads

Akane: hum we both got enormous egos

Ranma: amongst other things like people kidnapping you challenging me daily 
along with two other fiancées and two very annoying fathers that would 
constantly get in our way

Akane: that to

Ranma: do you want to marry me my un-cute tomboy

Akane: of course my Ranma no baka

Ranma: [sighs] ... if we have another official wedding it's likely to end 
like the last one

Akane: I know

Ranma: I know it's not particularly romantic but how bout we just go get 
our marriage license and have an official wedding after fiancée war three 
ends

Akane: [looking up at the stars idly] naa let's just forget an official 
wedding altogether ... having you after all this time will be reward enough 
for me ... besides who knows how long fiancée war three will last

Ranma: who cares just so when it ends you're at my side

Akane: the last Saturday of this month with our mothers as our witnesses

Ranma: ok and until then let's try to play match maker

Akane: ...ok ... Ukyou and Ryouga

Ranma: yeah ... then Shampoo and Mousse

Akane: ... Kunou and Nabiki

Ranma: ..  Strange but the two do seem to go together don't they ....  And 
of course Kasumi and doc tofu

Akane: we missing anyone

Ranma: don't think so... so who do we start with

Akane: how bout Ukyou and Ryouga

Ranma: agreed ... we start tomorrow after school

Akane: yep and I think I've got the perfect plan

Ranma: do tell

Akane: let's finish our romantic dinner first

Ranma: agreed

-[Ranma and Akane's match making service]-

[around 10:00 in Akane's room Ranma and Akane are starting to discuss a 
plan to get Ryouga and Ukyou together]

Ranma: the first thing we need to do is make sure Ryouga doesn't get one of 
his dumb bloody noses when he sees Ukyou in anything but her usual outfits

Akane: how shy is he

Ranma: if he gets to close to my chest when I'm a girl he'll faint

Akane: I wonder if there's any kind of way to get him over his shyness

Ranma: other than spiking his food with love potion and getting him stone 
cold drunk I don't think so

Akane: [trying to picture a stone cold drunk Ryouga] well the love potions 
out but getting him drunk might not be such a bad idea after all 1 cup of 
sake gave him a horrible hangover about 5 and if he has any real feelings 
for Ukyou he'll be blurring them out quicker then she can react

Ranma: and from Ukyou's reaction at the slumber party the other night she's 
not sure how she feels about him

Akane: ... okay you get him to u-Chan's and I'll make sure the sake is 
waiting for him

Ranma: what about Ukyou

Akane: me and Ukyou will come down stairs at exactly 4:15 after we've had a 
long talk about Ryouga and p-chan ok

Ranma: so all I have to do is make sure he drinks 5 cups of sake before 
4:15

Akane: yep while I talk to her about P-chan

Ranma: think it'll work

Akane: if they have any real feelings for each other it should

Ranma: ok ... I just hope I can find Ryouga

[at this time the familiar battle cry of Ryouga can be heard]

Ranma: that's twice this week his depression must be affecting his sense of 
direction [Ranma pours a nearby glass of water on top of his head becoming 
Ranma-chan and walks off making sure to act very sexy with the sole intent 
of giving Ryouga one hell of a nose bleed]

[a few minutes later a stifled scream is heard]

Akane: [sighs] Ranma no baka

[later that day at Ucchan's Akane enters in a red blouse and black battle 
skirt]

Ukyou: going for the female Ranma look today Akane

Akane: [giggles] something like that

Ukyou: so where's ran-chan since you got cursed you to have been 
inseparable

Akane: [glares] he went off with that pervert Ryouga

Ukyou: [taking a somewhat defensive stand] hold it Akane Ryouga may be p-
chan but he's no pervert I mean if he even looks at Ranma's chest in girl 
form when Ranma chooses to reveal some cleavage he faints straight away 
with a large nose bleed

Akane: I think he's just acting

Ukyou: Akane dear it's kinda hard to fake a nose bleed

[Akane now notices to bottles of sake next to Ukyou]

Akane: ...[thinking] good the Sake is already out and in plain 
sight ...[aloud] can we go upstairs for a minute I really don't want to 
talk about Ryouga in here [looks at the clock which reads 3:55]

Ukyou: well I can't be away from the grill for long

Akane: how bout around 15 minutes

Ukyou: ... I suppose I can spare that long for you a-kun ...[thinking] she 
knows a heck of a lot more about Ryouga than I do and for some reason I 
want to hear it

[Ukyou and Akane head upstairs and like clock work five minutes later 
Ryouga and Ranma enter]

Ranma:  its not the end of the world man after all there are other pearls 
in the sea [sees the Sake on the counter and thinks] ..  Akane you are so 
good ...[aloud] come on Ryouga

[Ryouga and Ranma sit down at the counter and Ranma casually hands Ryouga a 
cup of Sake which he quickly downs before continuing to wallow in self 
pity]

Ranma: [looking at the clock which now reads 4:05] ... what about Ukyou man 
[casually hands Ryouga another glass of sake which Ryouga gladly takes]

Ryouga: ...[takes a sip of his Sake] do you really think I have a 
chance ...[drinks some more]

Ranma: are you in love with her

[Ryouga downs the drink in ones swig after which he asks for another after 
about 6 minutes]

Ryouga: I don't know ....  She is beautiful and she has spirit ... and she 
doesn't really care about my curse [downs another one an asks for more]

Ranma: well why don't you profess your love to her I mean the worst that 
can happen is she will say no

Ryouga: [becoming drunk by this point] you're right Ranma [downs another 
glass of Sake] ... so where is she

Ranma: [looking up at the clock which reads 4:14] she probably just went to 
the bathroom or something Ryouga she should be back any second now

[on cue Akane and Ukyou walk back down stairs with Akane still rambling on 
about p-chan much to Ukyou's apparent annoyance]

Ryouga: [completely drunk] Ukyou!! 

[Ryouga staggers over to Ukyou and starts to profess his love to a very 
confused okonomiyaki chef who just starts to turn a deep shade of crimson 
as she sees Ranma and Akane smiling at her as they leave]

Ukyou: ....[thinking] they set me up [sighs and then looks down at Ryouga 
who is still professing his love] ... I love you to Ryouga

[Ranma and Akane leave u-Chan's with a silent smile]

Ranma: mission 1 accomplished

Akane: now for mission two

Ranma: shampoo and mousse... well let's get back to the dojo and ... 
formulate a plan

Akane: you've been looking at the dictionary again haven't you

Ranma: yep 

Akane: only your mother could come up with a game to make reading a 
dictionary fun

Ranma: yep

[later back at the dojo in Ranma's room Ranma and Akane are trying to 
decipher the tribal Amazon law book]

Akane: [looking at the law book and at her translation] ... if I'm 
translating this right Ranma if someone has a previous fiancée that fiancée 
takes president over any fiancées that come afterwards

Ranma: so basically shampoo has absolutely no right to me even though I 
beat her

Akane: well we figured out how to stop the shampoo but how do we go about 
mousseing it

Ranma: what does that book say about glomming

Akane: hum let me find out

[after Akane has found this section about the "classic Amazon glom" and 
translated it]

Akane: [her eyes wide] well I'm glad you never try to escape one of those 
gloms

Ranma: why

Akane: according to the translation that's a signal of being ready for 
sexual intimacy as in immediately

Ranma: [shock in his eyes] wo I knew she was aggressive but that's 
ridiculous

Akane: do you think that's why mousse does that

Ranma: probably ... you know what mousse's only problem really is

Akane: he's as blind as a bat

Ranma: exactly and he hate's his glasses with a passion ... so

Akane: those common sense sessions with your mom have really taken the dull 
edge off of you

Ranma: well considering I spent 10 years in the wilderness within even 
duller edge I'm surprised I was as sharp as I was

Akane: true so how do we get mousse a pair of contacts

Ranma: I'll handle the contacts you handle the fiancée law

Akane: ok ... I'm going to drag your mother along for insurance ok

Ranma: good idea Cologne still seems to be cautious anytime my mom's in the 
room

[later at the cat café Ranma enters to find mousse tending the place]

Mousse: [with his glasses on] hello Ranma

Ranma: just the blind Amazon I wanted to talk to

Mousse: [surprised] me why me

Ranma: just tell the old ghoul you want a break and me at u-Chan's in five 
minutes ok ... and don't be late

[approximately for minutes later at u-Chan's Ukyou who has a certain very 
drunk and currently sleeping black piglet on her head prepares some 
okonomiyaki for Ranma]

Ranma: [pulling out a bottle of "Akane's patented stir fry migraine 
eliminator"] I've a feeling your new pet is going to need this when he 
comes to

Ukyou: ...[smiling devilishly] he's going to need a whole lot more than 
that ran-Chan ... I just hope he doesn't die from lack of blood afterwards

Ranma: you can always try a blind fold

Ukyou: you have the best ideas ran-Chan so what mischief are you up to now

[at this time a very blind Amazon -- that happens to still be wearing his 
glasses -- enters]

Ranma: make a guess

Mousse: so what do you want

Ranma: I decided to help you get shampoo and no arguments to the contrary 
understand

Mousse: hum ...

Ranma: first she lost a game of truth or dare at my slumber party the other 
night so within the next week if you ask her out on a date she has to 
accept as a matter of honor

[hearing this mousse starts to realize why shampoo was acting so buggy that 
night she returned from Ranma slumber party]

Mousse: you're joking right

Ukyou: afraid not love ran-chan nailed her to the wall with the first 
question of the game

Mousse: I thought that was Kasumi with a throwing star

Ukyou: well that's true as well

Mousse: so Ranma what else are you going to help me with

Ranma: out of curiosity mousse when was the last time you visited an eye 
doctor

Mousse: hum when I was 6

[both Ranma and Ukyou face fault big-time]

Ranma: well then that's our first stop

Mousse: why

Ranma: even I know that if you have glasses you have to have bi-annual 
checkups

[later that day after getting mousse a much-needed eye exam Ranma and 
mousse arrive at the local one-hour eye glass place]

Ranma: now the third thing mousse have you ever heard of contacts

Mousse: vaguely

Ranma: go get yourself some ok

[about an hour and a half later mousse finds Ranma eyeing an outfit that 
looks like something out of a martial arts tournament video game]

Mousse: [now seeing 20/20 thanks to his new pair of contact lenses] you're 
not actually thinking about buying that are you

Ranma: no but for some strange reason Akane would look great in that

Mousse: [looking at the combat outfit which is almost the same color blue 
as Akane's hair and cut very daringly] you're right

Ranma: [looking at how the outfit is constructed] hum ... [looks over at 
mousse] so how are the contacts working

Mousse: I was able to see you wasn't I

Ranma: yep

Mousse: [sighs] I hope Cologne doesn't chew me out to badly about being out 
for this long

Ranma: don't worry about Cologne by now she's probably very occupied

[meanwhile back at the cat café Akane and Nodoka have just entered to find 
Cologne tending the counter]

Akane: [holding the Amazon law book] Cologne I demand by Amazon law that 
shampoo gives up her claim to Ranma

[hearing this Cologne does something predictable she falls off of her 
staff]

Cologne: [hopping up to the counter] WHAT!!!!

Akane: [slamming the law book down in front of Cologne] read it and weep

Cologne: [her eyes widening as she reads the law book] ....fine from this 
point on the tribal marriage is null and void

Akane: [smiling while thinking] Ranma I sure hope you're doing as well as I 
am

[at that moment Ranma and mousse enter]

Mousse: ...[looking around for shampoo] shampoo!!

[At this time shampoo reenters from her delivery rounds and because of 
mousse's new found clarity of vision he identifies her immediately]

Mousse: [glomming directly on to shampoo much to everyone surprise 
especially shampoo] shampoo will you go out on a date with me

Shampoo: shampoo married

Cologne: not anymore great granddaughter Akane Tendo has a more senior 
claim to Ranma's hand

Shampoo: WHAT!!!

Cologne: I'm afraid you have no legitimate claim to Ranma anymore

Shampoo: [breaking mousse's glom] ...

[at this time shampoo goes into total shock and mousse carries her away]

Cologne: I will make sure no attempt is made on your life Akane ... because 
you have used the tribal laws I'm bound to uphold them

[Nodoka just smiles and leaves as Cologne walks back into the back of the 
cat café]

Akane: [smiling devilishly] scratch 1 Amazon hussy

Ranma: so who's next on our hit list

Akane: either Nabiki and Kunou or Dr. tofu and Kasumi

Ranma: now things are getting harder

Akane: agreed ...Kunou and Nabiki first

Ranma: yeah 

[later back in Akane's room Ranma and Akane ponder how to get past Kunou's 
thick head]

Ranma: ... maybe if we dumb some instant Nyannichuan on him he'll get the 
idea

Akane: ... [smiles devilishly] I've got an even better idea how bout we 
make Nabiki show him the truth

Ranma: ... forgive me for being dense but why

Akane: something tells me that she wants to make Kunou fall for her and all 
we have to do is give her a reason to do it

Ranma: it's crazy enough to work

[later in Nabiki's room a knock is heard at the door much to Nabiki's 
surprise]

Nabiki: who is it

[at this time Ranma appears in the window while Akane enters through the 
door]

Ranma: me and Akane made a little bet Nabiki

Nabiki: [intrigued] and what would that bet be

Ranma: that you're such a mercenary you couldn't even get Kunou to fall in 
love with you

Nabiki: [fuming] Ranma no baka!!! [Nabiki punches Ranma in the jaw] ....  
Youch!!! ... by kami his jaw is like a block of steel

Akane: so sis will you help me win my bet

Nabiki: [nursing her hand] yeah but right now I think I need to go see Dr. 
tofu

[Nabiki leaves still nursing her hand and Ranma reappears at the window]

Ranma: [rubbing his jaw] she's got a decent right hook ... nothing on your 
orbital pile drivers though Akane

Akane: I think she may have busted her hand

Ranma: ... I wouldn't doubt it ... so what do we do now

Akane: wait and saver our victory when it comes

Ranma: even I can wait for this one

Akane: even if she does succeed I don't want to know how she did it

Ranma:  agreed, there are something's that are best left to the mists of 
time never to be revealed to these mortal eyes

Akane: [impressed] where did that come from!!

Ranma: [surprised at himself] I have no idea but if I figure it out you'll 
be the first to know after me

Akane: so should we move on to Dr. tofu and Kasumi

Ranma: lets wait for confirmation on Nabiki and Kunou ok

Akane: agreed

[later that night during dinner two ominous screams can be heard from the 
direction of the Kunou mansion to which Nabiki only smiles devilishly while 
Ranma and Akane wonder if Kunou will be at school at all the next morning]

[later up on the roof Ranma and Akane sit on the roof and watch a black 
smoke cloud from over in the direction of the Kunou mansion]

Ranma: I'm going to guess Kunou got it how Nabiki did it through his skull 
I do not want to know

Akane: like you said before some things are best left to the mists of time

Ranma: agreed

[the next day at school Kunou is indeed missing along with the principal 
but rumors about Kunou finely getting a clew are flying around]

Ranma-chan: [leaving the school with Akane-kun] so did you see Nabiki today

Akane-kun: no but I heard she volunteered for hospital duty

Ranma-chan: ahh ... well shall we start on Dr. tofu and Kasumi

Akane-kun: might as well

[later at Dr. tofu's clinic Ranma-chan asks Dr. tofu wide he goes schizoid 
every time Kasumi enters the room]

Tofu: [looking very uncomfortable] well you see one time her cooking put me 
in the hospital

Akane-kun: [her eyes as big as watermelons] Kasumi's food!!!

Tofu: a-chan said it was her first attempt and that she was really sorry 
but I've still got a phobia from that first encounter

Akane-kun: well her food's absolutely divine these days unlike mine

Tofu: well at least your stir fry is useful for getting rid of headaches 
Kasumi's first attempt was worse than nerve gas

[Akane-kun face faults]

Ranma-chan: have you ever had any of her food since then

Tofu: no but I've had a lot of plates and napkins

[Ranma-chan and Akane-kun just face-fault]

Akane-kun: how can we get you over this phobia

Tofu: hum probably 10 glasses of sake ...

Ranma-chan:...
 
Akane-kun: ....

[Ranma-chan and Akane-kun leave a very confused Dr. tofu who knows he 
shouldn't have said anything about Sake to the pair of sex shifting martial 
artists]

Tofu: why do I have the feeling that I'm going to become very drunk before 
the night is over

-[remembering my month as a woman]-

[around 9:00 in the dining room of the Tendo dojo Ranma and Akane eat 
alone]

Ranma: we certainly did a wonderful job of playing match makers didn't we

Akane: yep and to think just a little over a month ago we were still 
arguing

Ranma: while in the past two days we've managed to get rid of two fiancées 
a Kunou and help us schizoid Dr. get over his fear of your sisters cooking

Akane: not bad for a sex shifting man that a month ago hardly used multi-
syllable words

Ranma: true ... [sighs] last month was one of the most confusing times in 
my life

[approximately 1 month ago Ranma-chan wakes up in a sleeping bag in nothing 
but female underwear in Akane's room]

Ranma-chan: [her mind still clouded] ...[thinking] why in the hell I'm I 
in...oh now I remember ... it's a good thing I have some waterproof soap 
left 

[later after Ranma-chan has gotten a hot bath courtesy of some waterproof 
soap she returns to her room to find her mother waiting for her with a 
skirt and blouse]

Nodoka: [throwing a skirt and blouse towards Ranma-chan] ....

Ranma-chan: [grumbling while she puts said skirt and blouse on]  why mom

Nodoka: look at it this way Ranma you need to face your feminine side 
with ... masculine fortitude or it's going to drive you absolutely insane

Ranma-chan: .........[mulling the idea over] [thinking] as usual she's 
right unless I deal with this bodies libido I am going to go crazy 
its .....[aloud]  I just don't want to end up dating some ....

Nodoka: believe me Ranma no matter how feminine you do become your still 
Ranma

Ranma-chan: promise me if I start going schizoid drop me in something very 
cold

Nodoka: ok ... after breakfast were going to go shopping for female 
essentials and clothes got it

Ranma-chan: yeah

[later that day after getting a wide variety of feminine essentials Ranma-
chan, Akane, and Nodoka start to browse clothing stores starting with under 
garments much to Ranma-Chan's chagrin]

Nodoka: well start picking things out

Ranma-chan: ...[sighs] ...

[predictably Ranma-chan picks out nothing but a few sports bras and 
matching panties]

Nodoka: ...[raising an eyebrow while she idly taps her fingers] now 
daughter I want you to pick out something other then sports wear and if you 
don't I will

Ranma-chan: ....[sighs and thinks] ... she's serious about this ... then 
again when is she not serious about something .... [aloud] fine mom

[after about another hour and a half Ranma-chan has made a large selection 
of female under garments none of which are particularly lacy]

Nodoka: ....[looking around at the selection which does not provide 
anything particularly lacy] ...hum ...ok next stop the lingerie store

[needless to say both Ranma and Akane are shocked at Nodoka's next 
destination]

[Nodoka grabs all of the under garments Ranma-chan has picked out and walks 
over to the checkout stand

Akane: [looking at 1 very unhappy Ranma-chan] you ok

Ranma-chan: no ... I just hate shopping period

Akane: why you're putty good at it 

Ranma-chan: ...[sighs] it's not the shopping I hate it's the attention in 
attracts [Ranma-chan shakes a nearby rack and several boys scurry out much 
to Ranma-Chan's chagrin and Akane's surprise] ... same thing happens to me 
when I'm in my male form only girls spy on me

Akane: do people do that to me

[Ranma-chan just shakes another nearby rack and a group of familiar boys 
scurry away]

Ranma-chan: that answer your question

[later at the lingerie store Nodoka is perusing the racks while Ranma-chan 
and Akane do the same]

Ranma-chan: [looking over at her mother who is obviously picking out 
something for herself] ...

Akane: Ranma this would look good

Ranma-chan: [looking over at the fairly lacy piece of green 
lingerie] ...[sighs and then kicks a nearby rack which causes a group of 
boys to scurry away towards Nodoka] ...naa green never has agreed with me

[suddenly the sound of a katana being drawn is heard]

Akane: then how bout the black one

[at this time some stifled screens are heard]

Ranma-chan: ok

Nodoka: [sheathing her katana as she walks up with some very lacy 
lingerie] ...so have you two found anything

Ranma-chan: yeah I guess

[Ranma-chan just points to the lacy piece of black underwear and leaves]

[later outside the lingerie shop Ranma-chan thinks]

Ranma-chan: [thinking] this whole thing wouldn't be so bad if all those 
perverts wouldn't chase me around ... despite what Akane says I do have 
SOME modesty ...

[At this time Nodoka walks up]

Nodoka: are you ok

Ranma-chan: no any time I go shopping even in male form I always end up 
with people spying on me ... I mean if people wouldn't spy on me I might 
actually enjoy picking out new clothes for myself but

Nodoka: [tapping the hilt of her katana] I doubt they'll be bugging you any 
more today

Ranma-chan: [punching a nearby display rack which causes 5 more boys to 
appear and scurry away] I wouldn't bet on it mom

Nodoka: ...[face-faulting] why don't you just ignore them

Ranma-chan: I try ... but being on the receiving end of unwanted attention 
has always gotten on my nerves

Nodoka: well do you want to go back in or move on to the next store

Ranma-chan: move on ... one piece of lingerie is enough for me at the 
moment

Nodoka: ok so next we go pick out some skirts, slacks, blouses, and maybe a 
few dresses for you ... I don't think you need any shoes considering what I 
saw in your wardrobe this morning

[later that day Ranma-chan, Nodoka and Akane finally return to the dojo and 
Ranma-chan retires to her room while Nodoka and Akane join Kasumi in the 
dining room]

Akane: [sighs while thinking] poor Ranma if it wasn't for all those 
perverts ...he might have enjoyed herself

Nodoka: [thinking] at the moment "he's" only doing this because I tell 
"him" to

[meanwhile back up in Ranma-Chan's room Ranma-chan is finishing putting 
away her new attire]

Ranma-chan: ....[thinking while she looks at the complete wardrobe which 
even contains a piece of black lingerie] ...maybe their right maybe I 
should just except this body [Ranma-chan looks at her breasts] ... thanks 
to Akane's recent growth where even when it comes to this ....  What did 
mom say ..."you need to face your feminine side with masculine 
fortitude" ... I suppose their right ... it's time to stop being a coward 
and start being a man even if it does mean learning how to be a woman ... 
if I can be a man amongst men I can most certainly be a un-cute tomboy with 
no trouble at all

[at this time Nodoka enters]

Nodoka: Ranma

Ranma-chan: yeah

Nodoka: I don't want you to continue if you ....

Ranma-chan: I was just thinking about that mom and I've decided that you're 
right about having to face my feminine side especially one that's .... so 
well 

Nodoka: are you sure

Ranma-chan: yes and no ... yes because sooner or later if I don't I'm going 
to lose it and no because well I figure I'll lose it really quick ... but I 
figure if I'm going to lose it, it might as well be on my terms ....  And 
since losing myself to the curse has been one of my greatest fears and 
because real men don't run from their fears....

Nodoka: ok ... daughter

Ranma-chan: [sighs] ... just remember if I start acting schizoid to dump me 
in something very, very cold

Nodoka: I will

[Nodoka leaves]

Ranma-chan: [looking at her wardrobe] ....[grabs a red blouse and a black 
skirt] ...hum most people will recognize me if I wear this ... now where 
did my mom's sewing kit get to

[after Ranma-chan has modified the black skirt into a black battle skirt 
she realizes one fundamental problem with skirts in general ... no pockets]

Ranma-chan: I'm most certainly not going to carry around a purse ... not 
even Akane does that .... [Sees a generous amount of leather in his 
mother's sewing kit] ... however a leather hip satchel

[later in the dining room Nodoka is having a bottle of saki which is having 
absolutely no effect on her]

Akane: ... are you ok aunt Nodoka

Nodoka: yeah ...[sighs] blasted immunity to alcohol

Akane: hun!!??

Nodoka: I've always been immune to alcohol no matter how much a I drink I 
can't get drunk and right now I really want to be drunk

Akane: having second thoughts

Nodoka: yeah ... but Ranma has decided to go through with it

Akane: ...why

Nodoka: ... I don't know ... maybe I'm afraid too ...[laughs and starts to 
think] I've dealt with things that can level entire cities ... and 
something as simple as this ... fuck simple ... some evil ancient Magi is 
simpler than my son/daughter's predicament ... and it's been a long time 
since I faced an evil Magi anyhow...

Akane: ... you two are a lot alike you know that

Nodoka: yeah I do ...and that's what's scaring me so much ...

Akane: ...

[at this time Ranma-chan comes downstairs dressed in a black battle skirt 
and a red blouse along with a leather hip satchel]

[Nodoka takes another big swig of Sake and then leaves showing absolutely 
no signs of being drunk]

Ranma-chan: [raising an eyebrow] ...hun???

Akane: that's what I was saying

Ranma-chan: never figured my mom would drink

Akane: ... that was her fifth bottle

Ranma-chan: your joking

Akane: no ... she said she has some kind of natural immunity to alcohol

Ranma-chan: if she can down 5 bottles Sake and walk away like nothing she 
must have total immunity

Akane: ... she scared

Ranma-chan: truthfully I'm scared as well

Akane: do you want to go anywhere

[at this time Ranma-Chan's stomach is heard growling]

Ranma-chan: U-Chan's??

Akane: hum ok

[meanwhile a U-Chan's Ukyou is deciding if the rumors about Ranma-chan 
shopping for female attire with his mother are partially or completely 
ludicrous when Yuka starts talking again]

Yuka: I tell you I saw Ranma, Akane, and Ranma's mother shopping for 
dresses today and Ranma was not in male form

Ukyou: you've got to be kidding Nodoka helping Ranma pick out female 
attire ...do you realize why she carries around that katana

Yuka: well she was using it to disembowel a few boys that were spying on 
Ranma and Akane today

Ukyou: [face-faulting] she carries it around because of a seppuku promise 
Genma made ... I believe the promised went some ware along lines of if 
Ranma does anything un-manly [draws her finger across her neck]

Yuka: [shocked] your joking!!!

Ukyou: no

Yuka: will neither am I ... maybe she's decided Ranma needs to be more of a 
girl ...

Ukyou: [her eyes bugging out as she sees Ranma-chan approaching her 
restaurant dressed in a red blouse and black battle skirt with a leather 
hip satchel] ...ran-chan???

[As Ranma-chan and Akane enter they hear a thud from behind the counter]

Yuka: [looking over the counter at Ukyou who is twitching] wonder what 
spooked HER

Ranma-chan: [sitting down next to Yuka] ... where's Ukyou, Yuka

[as Yuka turns to reply she freaks and faints at the site of Ranma-Chan's 
current attire]

Ranma-chan: [tear dropping] what did I do

Akane: I believe it's something you're wearing

Ranma-chan: ...hun ...oh!!

[Akane dumps a bucket of water over Ukyou and then another over Yuka to 
wake them up]

Ukyou: [looking up at Ranma-chan she blinks repeatedly] Ranma...???

Ranma-chan: yeah

Ukyou: ... why am I getting the strangest feeling that your mother's behind 
all of this

Ranma-chan: girl training for the rest of the month u-chan ... mothers 
orders

[at this time a suspicious looking table gets up and leaves mumbling about 
now I've heard everything]

Yuka: I'm out of here

[Yuka makes a quick exit mumbling something about now I've seen everything]

Ukyou: [ignoring the walking table] why

Ranma-chan: "you need to face your feminine side with masculine fortitude" 
is what my mom said before she made me promise to a months worth of girl 
training

Ukyou: so for the rest of the month you're going to stay as a girl

Ranma-chan: yeah

Ukyou: don't tell me she's making you wear 

Ranma-chan: [sighs] the whole nine yards Ukyou

[Ukyou just face faults knowing once Nodoka Saotome makes Ranma promise to 
do something not even the kami has a chance of stopping him]

[back to the present were Ranma is absentmindedly staring off into space]

Akane: you ok Ranma

Ranma: yeah just thinking about something

Akane: what

Ranma: last month's girl training

Akane: speaking of training do I need any

Ranma: no

Akane: so what do you think the others are doing tonight

Ranma: that bunch  ... they're probably all having sex by now

Akane: do you

Ranma: .....  Not till after we get married ok

Akane: ok but the night after we get married I "do not" care how weird 
things get

Ranma: [seeing a devilish grin appear on Akane's face] okay

Akane: Ranma did you enjoy last month

Ranma: it's had its highs and lows 

Akane: what was the high point of the month

Ranma: when I realized that mom was right that I really am both a man and 
woman ....unfortunately the day after that my period started

Akane: I bet that was the lowest point

Ranma: [laughs lightly] no the lowest point came at the same time as the 
highest

Akane: [looking slightly confused] hun??

Ranma: ... have you ever heard of Yin and Yang

Akane: hum a little ... the principal that everyone is both male and female

Ranma: yep and I figured that all the cruse did was give an outlet to my 
feminine side 

Akane: hum I think I get what you're saying ... since the glass is half 
full and half empty already all we needed was a way to look at the glass 
from the other point of view

Ranma: yeah what you said

Akane: hum Ranma about getting married

Ranma: whenever you're ready Akane

Akane: ok

[end]