Please wait until the page loads. Thank you. Objective: answer SIX (6) of ten attorney questions correctly. JavaScript is required! JavaScript is disabled. How did you get this fat without javascript anyways?! 1. What is your plead, you scumbag? Guilty Not guilty Infantry Insanity 2. Do you know why my client has taken you to court today? Yeah. I shot the glasses of her snobby face. Yeah. She wanted me to be the eighty-second person to be pressed charges against in court. Yeah. They want to make people pay for things they can easily afford. No. I have no idea on what's going on. 3. Where were you on the night of Saturday, December 13th? Shooting at windows Outside the Town Hall Not in the Tri-town area Jacking off at home 4. Were you angry at my client at the time? No Yes Kind of OBJECTION! 5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at? Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
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Guilty Not guilty Infantry Insanity 2. Do you know why my client has taken you to court today? Yeah. I shot the glasses of her snobby face. Yeah. She wanted me to be the eighty-second person to be pressed charges against in court. Yeah. They want to make people pay for things they can easily afford. No. I have no idea on what's going on. 3. Where were you on the night of Saturday, December 13th? Shooting at windows Outside the Town Hall Not in the Tri-town area Jacking off at home 4. Were you angry at my client at the time? No Yes Kind of OBJECTION! 5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at? Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
2. Do you know why my client has taken you to court today?
Yeah. I shot the glasses of her snobby face. Yeah. She wanted me to be the eighty-second person to be pressed charges against in court. Yeah. They want to make people pay for things they can easily afford. No. I have no idea on what's going on. 3. Where were you on the night of Saturday, December 13th? Shooting at windows Outside the Town Hall Not in the Tri-town area Jacking off at home 4. Were you angry at my client at the time? No Yes Kind of OBJECTION! 5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at? Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
3. Where were you on the night of Saturday, December 13th?
Shooting at windows Outside the Town Hall Not in the Tri-town area Jacking off at home 4. Were you angry at my client at the time? No Yes Kind of OBJECTION! 5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at? Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
4. Were you angry at my client at the time?
No Yes Kind of OBJECTION! 5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at? Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
5. Where did you get a silenced pistol at?
Officer Donut gave it to me. I have a gun, but it is different from the one used on your "client". I never had a gun. I saw Officer Donut carry one around though. OBJECTION! 6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed? Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
6. Were you the reason that caused my client to have her glasses destroyed?
Yes No Yes, but besides, they are not destroyed No, and the glasses are not destroyed 7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that? A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
7. How else could my client's glasses have been broken like that?
A meteorite shower A rock fight outside the town hall (a wannabe-gang fight) Jennifer being clumsy (she slipped on her money and her glasses hit the ground) Officer Donut wanted revenge because she spilled pop on me and he owed me a favor. 8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges? Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
8. Have you been convicted of stalking-related charges?
Yes No Not convicted, but guilty OBJECTION! 9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony! Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
9. Vandalizing my client's glasses is going to cost you over $200, a big felony!
Those glasses cost $25 to fix! I have the glasses experts to prove it! It is a misdemeanor, ya fucknut! It is only money! Sue me then, you moneysucking lawyer! Jennifer's family can afford $200 easily! They can also afford a $1000 lawyer also. Why do they try to take everybody to court? If you just settle with the other side for an agreement, it will all be better! But Jennifer's parents just like to sue and press charges on poor people who cannot afford a good lawyer just because they are rich! Some people never change. 10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud? I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!
10. Did you call the police when you heard my client scream out loud?
I did! Officer Donut even happened to be there at the scene! He will even say so! Yes. But Dunkin' Donuts had a 4 for a dollar sale and there were no policemen on duty. No. I thought that she was screaming at me because she saw my ugly face! Yes. Officer Donut came from Frederick after a juvenile arrest!