The Bitching Page

PARENTAL ADVISORY = This page contains vulgar content.

8-1-01
Oh man. I was laughing when I saw this message in my e-mailbox...

   From:   "Eric Feliciano" <eric_f72@hotmail.com>
   Date:   Mon, 30 Jul 2001 15:59:19
     To:   piston@masterphred.com 
Subject:   Codes
  
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i tryed all your secret codes and none of them work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wasted my time playing the game for nothing!!!!!! 
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I have this Punch-out page that is about the original game. It is also about my cheap hack with a few characters I invented myself. But I have this SECRETS page that bullshits about how to get to my made-up characters. And at the bottom of the page, there is a super hard to find hidden link (a big picture with about three borders around it. You have to be an idiot to miss it) that leads to a page that states that the SECRETS page is fake. Now most people are familiar with the game. Everybody knows most of the secrets and have beaten Mike Tyson and what not. And if you take a look at my SECRETS page, you can tell that I am bullshitting myself to death. I even snuck in Von Kaiser as a secret character to show sarcasm in the page. And the strategy to get to Strauss, well, I had to make up the most impossible thing to do in order to get to him. I mean, go to that page which is https://members.tripod.com/master_phred/punchout/nessecr.html for just a second. Take a look at the dragonlord in the ring. Does that look real? Even for a hacked version, it doesn't seem to be real. That pic was faked with a bitmap editor. ANYONE CAN DO IT! And look at some of the other characters. Mr. Dream and Von Kaiser is real. But look at Master Phred. Do you really think that they would put ME in a NINTENDO GAME!?!? Let's see here... 1987... I was born 1982... I would have been 5 years old when they put me in the game! I wouldn't have been grown up and with a goatee either. Go down a bit on the page and look at Mr. Scribbles. DOES HE LOOK REAL?!?!?! I mean, how could you be fooled by that?!?!?! Now go up one character and look at Doc Louis. Now that picture might fool a few people because I did a damn good job at editing him with a bitmap editor. But go down all the way and read the strategy on how to get to Strauss, the "hidden" boss of the game. It doesn't even sound real!
I know that all of you are saying, "I get the point Phred! I never was fooled at all, ya moron!" I know what you think. Heck, I was thinking the same thing until I opened my e-mail account this morning and saw this message. "I tried all of your secrets and none of them work!!! I wasted my time doing nothing!!!! I know I waste my time doing nothing on a regular basis, but that's not the point!!!! Boo hoo, I want my mommy!!!" Ya know what, Mr. Feliciano? You wasted all of that time to try EACH AND EVERY ONE of my "SECRETS", but you could have wasted less time by noticing something strange about the big picture at the bottom of the page and by clicking it to find out that the stuff was fake! Well, I am going to make a small update to my page and while I am updating, maybe I should make my SECRETS page more idiot-proof. What a fucking dumbass. I still think it is funny that there is somebody out there who was stupid enough to believe that the secrets were true. I overestimate too many people. Oh well, it is not my loss. Gotta go and update and get ready for my road trip.