I've learned three things tonight while watching Entertainment Tonight:
1) Always be sure to put on your makeup when going out for a drive, or you will look washed out in your mug shot. (Thanks, Wynonna, for this tip!)
2) Even scary-looking men with straw-straight hair and teeth two sizes too big and eyeliner can critique women's fashions. (Thanks, Stephen Cojocaru, you freakish man.)
3) Women who weigh only 58 pounds also think that their stomachs are fat and bloated. (Thanks, 58-Pound Anorexic.) What's ironic is that the Victoria Secret models profiled after her were nearly as thin, only they had fake breasts.
I've also decided that the words "ninny" and "dunderhead" are underused.
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And now, for the cold, hard facts.
Today I:
1) Changed 5 poopy diapers;
2) Grabbed a wet girl from the bath immediately after she pooped in the tub;
3) Wiped noses approximately eighty thousand times. Okay, only 80 times. Still, it was a LOT.
4) Washed dishes three times.
5) Helped YoungestBoy find four pictures of things that start with the letter "N." Very few items in catalogs start with the letter "N." Glued on pictures: necklace, neck, noodles (ripped from the Campbell's can!) and "Noah's Ark."
6) Played outside with the babies and blew bubbles.
7) Laughed heartily at Baby Wrestling. Babygirl loves to hug DaycareKid, but always ends up trying to tackle him with a look of pure glee on her snotty face. DaycareKid looks bewildered, Babygirl cackles with joy and I burst into laughter. As Martha Stewart would say, "I don't want to go to jail!"--oh, I mean, "This is a good thing."
Well, that's enough for now. Now, I must watch Diane Sawyer interview Britney "I Can't Seem to Keep My Clothes On" Spears.
