April 21st, 2006
Left for our yearly Disney Vacation to relax before starting our next IVF. We drive down and it takes us two days. On our drive down our cell phones were ringing constantly with doctor's, nurses and family calling about Bob's mother. One day she is fine the next not so well. She is in a nursing home suffering from Alzhiemer's.
April 23rd, 2006
My birthday. We arrived in Florida today and hit the Sonic! Yummy.
April 24th, 2006
Magic Kingdom is awesome every year.
April 25th, 2006
Went to Gatorland. Our cell phones rang constantly with updates of Bob's mother. She isn't doing well. Later that night she was doing better.
April 26th, 2006
We had arrived at Animal Kingdom late and it was going to close in a few hours. Well, we received calls from the doctor and family that a decision needs to be made about his mom. She is turning for the worse. We left the attration and talked and we decided we better head back home and cut our vacation short.
April 28th, 2006
Back home. Bob & I rushed over to the now hospital to see his mother.
May 1st, 2006 Monday
CD 1
AF arrived. Called my nurse. She asked me if we were ready to start our IVF now. I explained that we would like to wait until after the sonohystrogram. She said. "Ok, let's hope that uterus is clean and let's get rolling !"
May 2nd, 2006 Tuesday
Went to pharmacy had the drug Doxycycline filled.
May 8th, 2006 Monday
CD 8
Start taking Doxycycline
May 10th, 2006 Wednesday
CD 10
Sonohystrogram to check uterus for polyps. YEAH ! No polyps.
May 11th, 2006
Bob and his sister's rushed to the nursing home to see their mother, since they received the phone call that she was not doing well again. She then got rushed to the hospital.
May 12th, 2006 Friday
CD 12
Last day to take Doxycycline. Bob's mother Marie Osgood passed away early this moring.
May 13th - 15th, 2006
I gathered up all the pictures of Marie that I could find of all ages. Including those of just her and her husband of 51 years Robert. I made three family photo arrangments one with just Robert and Marie and one with Marie with her children and sisters and a huge one with marie with her kids, husband, all the grandkids and her sisters and brother. There's just so many photos to choose from. I don't have much time I better hurry. Got to get to the funeral home for the wake.
May 16th, 2006 Tuesday
The funeral was today. Had the family gather back at our place.
May 23rd, 2006 Tuesday
CD 23
May 24th, 2006 Wednesday
CD 1
AF arrived - called my nurse. She then called to get my meds to be delivered. (Before IVF cycle was 28 days clockwork, the past few months were 30 - 32 days. This one was 24 days !)
May 26th, 2006 Friday
CD 3
Start birth control pills and prenatal vitamins. Didn't need to do cycle day 3 lab work on this cycle.
May 27th, 2006 Saturday
Went to the book store and got our Consent Forms Notorized.
May 28th, 2006 Sunday
CD 5
Extremely bad headache today. This headache got worse when I bent over to touch the floor. Loud voices and bright light bothered me too. Never had a headache like this one before. Sounded and felt like marching in my head. Even made my eyes blurry. Not sure why I felt this way, but at the same time I wonder if it was stress from work. We were running short-handed for several days, due to employees quitting and calling out sick. And since I am a manager on salary of a restaurant and my asst. manager has some kind of unknown medical illness and has been out of work for a few weeks now, I have had to work everyday. Needless to say I am extremely tired, working long days , short-handed everyday with no day off can wear ya down. Long days I can handle. No day off I can handle, and being short-handed I can handle. But the 3 together I think it was is really doing me in.
June 9th, 2006 Friday
CD 17
Started 10 units of Lupron tonight - felt tingly. Slept really heavy tonight.
June 10th, 2006 Saturday
Second shot didn't feel a thing. Slept heavy again.
June 11th - 13th, 2006
Felt hot and cold. Occasional hot flashes. Could be due to weather as well.
June 14 2006 Wednesday
Tossed and turned.
June 15th, 2006 Thursday
CD 24
Tossed and turned. Last Birth Control Pill today.
June 16th, 2006 Friday
CD 25
feel crampy & bloated. Brown discharge.
June 19th, 2006 Monday
CD 28
Called nurse to find out what time my suppression check is for Wednesday. I was then told that it will be tomorrow in a different town since my doctor also wants to do a Mock transfer.
June 20th, 2006 Tuesday
CD 29
Arrived an hour early. Drank my water, since I was told I needed a full bladder. Well, at 9am a woman called my name. She asked how I was doing. I said. "Full". She explained that the mock isn't until 10am and that my suppression check is in a few minutes. Right after she gets my blood. As usual they had a hard time getting my blood. I am so selfish of my blood. hahaha. Before my suppression check she let me go to the bathroom to what called "take a leak". Don't let to much out. Everything looked good with the suppression check. She then sent me down the hall to a room where I got into a hospital johnnny. And was given 3 bottles of water (the little ones). I drank all of those. The nurse asked me hos I was doing. I was really full at this point. Couldn't even crack a smile. I was then brought into this room with 4 doors and a big round light in the middle. Kinda like what you would see in a ufo and alien movie. I also remember being in a similiar room before for the retreivals of the previos IVF's. I was in that room by myself laying on that table for about 5-10 minutes, but it felt like hours. My doctor was running a little late. Finally everyone started arriving back in the room. Then my doctor. My doctor asked How are you Tamara ? Very full, I replied. The sonographer said I was a bit uncomfortable. My doctor then said awe. Almost like saying oh you poor thing. I felt gggrrrr. (now I can laugh about it though). Then she started the mock transfer which is a make believe transfer to give them an idea of where to put our embryo's for the real transfer. Well, my bladder was too full. She had me go to the restroom and count to 10 and empty my bladder just a little. Then got back on the table and she tried again. My bladder was still too full. I was told to go empty my bladder a little bit more. This time it was perfect. I was told to remember how full my bladder felt right now cause this is how full it needs to be on the real transfer. I could now go empty my bladder completely, get dressed and go home. Oh what a relief. A nurse filling in for my regular nurse today called and told me that I'm not fully suppressed yet and to continue 10 units of Lupron for a few more days until the 29th and to call my regular nurse tomorrow to find out if I should order more Lupron. My tentative retrieval and transfer dates she told me were 10th and 13th.
June 21st, 2006 Wednesday
CD 1
Today would have been Marie's 74th birthday. I called my regular nurse and it was after hours so I left a message explaining that AF arrived and I was also wondering if I need to order more Lupron? If so, when ? She called back an hour or so later. She apologized to me for the mix up yesterday that I am indeed ready to start the stims and my tentative dates for retrieval and transfer are for July 3 and July 6. Tonight we will do 10 units of Lupron and tomorrow we will start the stims. Got good news today from one of my friends who also has been through several treatments like myself. She found out today that she is pregnant ! Congratulations Dana ! What a miracle that baby really is!
June 22nd, 2006 Thursday
CD 2
Tonight Bob (Dr. Oz) gave me my shots as he does everytime. We did the Lupron of 5 units, then the Follistim at 375 ( all cycles in the past were 225), and last was Menopur which was one full vial. Thought it was going to take forever for all the Menopur to get into my system. As with the Repronex from previous IVF's cycle it takes awhile for the entire shot to go in.
June 23rd. 2006, Friday
CD 3
Today I stayed home all day, since I didn't feel too well. Really bad headache and really tired. Oh, and extremely emotional. I cried my eyes out for awhile. Just thinking about everything. I like having a day or two off from work, but I tend to dwell on things when I'm not doing anything. Atleast when I am at work I keep so busy I don't have time to think about "other" issues. I keep busy at home too, but the mind tends to drift. Tonights shots were the same as last night. Lupron 5 units, Follistim 375 and Menopur 1 vial.
June 26th, 2006 Monday
Called pre-registration to you know, pre-register for the ultrasound and lab tomorrow. Well, the paperwork said my ultrasound follicle study was for 7/27 instead of 6/27. I explained that that was wrong and I called my nurse and left message on voice mail, while the woman from registration looked into it on her end and call scheduling. The woman from registration called me back and said I am all set for tomorrow at 10:05am. Then, another woman called me back asking if anyone had called me yet. Yes, I just got off the phone with a woman from registration. My nurse then called back and I told her I worked it all out.
June 27th, 2006 Tuesday
CD 7
Ultrasound and Lab work today. Grrrr..what a mess up at the ultrasound at my local hospital. The woman at the desk said it will be about a 15-20 minute wait. So I read a magazine while I waited. It was 40 minutes later when I looked at the clock when a young woman like myself came in and her name was called 2 minutes after she sat down. I then walked over to the desk and asked nicely about how much long it would be? She was shocked that I hadn't been called. Appearently they over scheduled themselves or messed up something somewhere. They did apologize to me and gave me a complaint form. I probably won't complain to the hospital (however a discount or "free day" would be nice). The sonographer seemed as if she was in a hurry. (probably was, since she wasn't expecting me) I really didn't have many follicles there were a total of 9 with only 4 that were 10 or above. The average numbers I had were 10.2, 11.1, 11.5, 11.7 My right ovary, my only ovary was 25.2x30.7x35.4 My endometrial stripe was 5mm. Not sure if she just didn't see all my follicles or if they haven't developed (growing) yet.
My nurse called tonight I need to be given 5 units Lupron, 375 Follistim and 3 vials of Menopure. That is 5 shots in the belly.
June 28th, Wednesday
CD 8
Had Lab and ultrasound today. Got sent to the wrong ultrasound room, need to go to the one upstairs. I got there and had to fill out paperwork about how many pregnacies have you had? What were the due dates? I get to the second floor to the room where the sonographer will perform my ultrasound and she told me she was a trainee and it was obvious. One of the questions she asked me was "Do they usually use the ultrasound gel when they do your ultrasounds? DUH !!! Today there were 9 follicles same as yesterday, with also 4 of which that were above 10. The averages are as follows 10.7, 11.9, 12.3, 12.9 my ovary was 35.1x27.2x31.8 and the endometrial stripe was 5mm. So, I'm not sure if she screwed up on my follicle study or if I'm responding poorly this time.
Nurse just called tonight's meds same as last night 5 units Lupron, 375 Follistim, and 3 vials of Menopure. However tonight there will be a total of 6 shots in belly. Need to put in another Follistim cartridge.
June 29, 2006 Thursday
CD 9
Today's Lab and ultrasound went ok. My ultrasound was for 8:05am at 8:30am I got up and asked about how much longer it might be. The secretary said she would call and find out. She then told me they were about to call me. I was then directed up to the room where I waited half dressed. Good thing I have a lot of patience. Today there were 12 follicles, but only 5 measured more than 10mm. She didn't put the averages in, she seemed like she was pressed for time and in a hurry. My ovary is at 38.6x28.8x34.7 and the endometrial strpe is at 8.2mm
Tonights meds 5 units Lupron, 375 Follistim, and 3 vials of Menopure.
June 30, 2006 Friday
CD 10
Today at the lab this guy was like a vanpire. LOL. I tried in two different spots until yeah he got it. He must of hit something cause my arm started bleeding.Needed to hold the gauze a little longer. Didn't hurt though. I guess I'm used to being poked with needles. I still hate them, but am learning to tolerate them.
Ultrasound I got 11 follicles, 5 of them being over 10mm. Ovary is at 27.5x42.8x46.2 and the endometrial stripe is 9.5mm
Spoke with Sandi from scheduling and I have a 9:00am appointment.
July 1, 2006 Saturday
CD 11
Went to the lab and the woman had recognized me as a regular there and told me she had no orders for me today. As I waited for her to finish with another patient. She discovered she had two other patients without orders. She asked if I was going to ultrasound and I said yes that I have a 9:00am appointment. She then told me to go there first since my orders are chances are up there. When I arrived at the waiting room nobody was there I was early. When the two employees arrived I eexplained that my orders weren't at the lab is there a chance they are here. One woman said that if they are it would be upstairs where they do ultrasounds. Some guy called my name and brought me up for my ultrasound and said that he would be perfomming it today. I then asked him if he was able to find my orders and he said yes they are downstairs. He left the room for me to get ready and when he came back he brought a woman in with him to keep him company. (or to put me at ease, he could probably since that I was nervous) however they probably do that to for liability, anyhow it made me relax a bit. After the ultrasound he had me walk downstairs with him so he could fax the paperwork and to make me a copy of my paper on my follicles. And to give me my orders to bring to the lab. Which he could not find anywhere, after he said earlier he had them. Anyway, another guy came out from x-ray to help him and got on the computer to look it up and printed it up and gave it to me. Well, as I was walking to the lab it had yesterday's date. Not sure if that is really important. I would think it is ! So, my results today are endometrial stripe12mm ovary 48.3x40.8x29.9 with 11 follicles and 5 of them above 10mm. The averages are as follows 14.9, 15.7, 15.7, 17.1, 17.5
Tonight we went trigger happy. Hee/Hee we did the trigger shot at 9:00pm, well 9:03pm to be exact. We didn't screw up this time. How could we ? We had Ovidrel the pre-filled syringe. It went kinda quick and I didn't feel a thing. I then went straight to sleep. I was so exhausted.
July 2, 2006 Sunday
CD 12
I'm so bummed that I don't have many follicles this time. Oh well, it only takes one to work and I do have some good numbers. I can only imagine how big my ovary is now. I feel so bloated. And I also had a crying spell at work. Not sure if my hormones went into over drive or if I was truley that upset at work. There was something at work that made me upset, that I don't feel I should get into on here though sorry. How I would love just to let it all out though. But I'm much nicer than that. Mostly I just want to feel appreciated for what I do at work. I work my ass off several hours a week, every week since day one and on a set salary. Working short handed everyday on top of that. And going through this IVF process too. I am stressed out and exhaused. Wow, I really trigged today. Maybe that is the "Real Reason" they call it the trigger shot. LOL. No, it is the trigger shot because it ripens up the eggs aka. follicles to mature, but not release. Then at exactly 36 hours later from the time of the trigger the embryologist will take all my eggs out.
Tonight I don't get any shots ! YEAH a free night! I also can't eat or drink tonight and tomorrow is NPO. (No make-up, no perfumes or other scents, no jewlery, no food, no drink, no thing)
July 3, 2006 Monday
CD 13
Today was egg retrieval day. When we arrived at RSC the nurse there brought me in to be prepped. Got me in hospital surgery outfit, took my vitals, then she attempted to insert the iv into my hand. Didn't go well. She then had to search for another spot. She then was about to attempt to do the iv in my lower arm, which the anethesia doctor ended up doing and was successful on the first try. She probably would have been able to get that one too though. They mad a little joke about how he got it and she couldn't. I was then brought into the room where the proceedure takes place. And Bob was taken to the room where he does his thing (self explanatory here). The room I was taken too has a table where I am told to lie down and put legs in stirrups. To the right of me is the sonographer. Behind me, up near my head is the anesthesia doctor, my doctor down at my feet doing the retrieval, and I think there was also the nurse and embryologist in there too. Attached to the ceiling a strange looking light. Not sure the name of this type. Kinda reminds me of something from some UFO movie. The door to the left of me is where the embryologist keeps all the patients embryos and where someone is always checking in on them. The surgery itself is a fog to me. Went in walking and don't remember going back to the other room where I got prepped. I was also told I was awake through the whole thing. My eyes didn't close. That's weird. However, I do have an Aunt that sleeps with her eyes open. Hahahahahaha. We got 6 Oocytes (aka. Eggs)were retrieved today. Not what I was hoping for, but better than none. Our 1st IVF we got 13 Oocytes. Each cycle and each woman are diffently different. After leaving we went and got a quick, light bite to eat. Then I was able to start taking my meds. Which is Tetracycline 1 pill 4 times a day and Medrol which is 4 pills at bedtime.On the way home, I fell asleep and was groggy most of the day. Took it easy the rest of the day. Tonight I start 1cc of Progestrone shots which goes into your backside in the hip area. The needle is huge( well, it is the same size of previos cycles though). But remain positive, it will all be worth it in the end is what I keep telling myself. I also put a ice pack on my hip area before Bob gives me the shot. It helps numb the area a little.
July 4th, 2006 Tuesday
CD 14
Went to work today, still felt a little tired and groggy. Then to top it all off I had several call outs today. Usually the 4th is our busiest day out of the whole year at work. This year wasn't busy except for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night. However it does make it a very long day when you are short on help. Plus I pulled a double. Got stuck in traffic on my way home and was in a hurry to get home so I could get my shot. Stopping the other treatment meds can also may make you constipated. Well, of all times to be constipated it happend today. When I got home I was finally able to take care of business. I feel so much better.
July 5th, 2006 Wednesday
CD 15
Back to work again, Gee haven't recovered from yesterday yet. I'm so tired. Short handed again today. Didn't stop all day, how I long for a "Real Break" today. Finally when I got home there was a message on the ansering machine from the doctor's office. Our embryos grades are 4 AG and 4 BF. Only two survived to this point. We need to be there at 8:00am to fill bladder and get ready for proceedure. 9:00am is the actual transfer. 1 cc Progestrone again tonight, which continues until pregnancy test. Longer if we are pregnant.
July 6th, 2006 Thursday
CD 16
Today I can eat and drink, but cannot have any scents. Bob can't either. I started drinking water about 7:30am to get bladder ready for the transfer. We got there a little after late due to traffic on interstate going slower than the actual speed limit. When we arrived I told her I felt full, but may be able to drink another water. She said she would ask the sonographer to check me before drinking anymore and before proceedure. She even told me I could release a little out if I felt I needed too. I didn't I waited. I was then brought into the room to get into the hospital surgey outfit and Bob into his Doctor looking outfit. He looked so cute. I was given a valium and was told to pick out some music to listen to during the proceedure. Got the relaxing "New Age" music. Then we were ready to go in for the proceedure. My docotor came in and explained to us that only one survived and is at Grade 6 AG. I was saddened, but tried not to show it. Again 1 is better than none at all. I got on the table, with legs in stirrups and scrapped like in a pap smear to help prevent infection. Catheter is then inserted into vagina. The embyrologist then get the ok from doctor. He than puts it under the microscope and we can than see the embryo on the screen. Looks like a nice looking embryo too. (from what I can tell from seeing other pictures on different websites and to the ones I have pictures of from previous cycles. Oh ya, we couldn't get a picture of our embryo today. She said due to legal issues her lawyer told her not too. I have all my others in photo frames. I have the same doctor, however before we went to a different RSC in a different state and they do things differently there. I really like my doctor and was proud that she was finally able to do my proceedures. I sure hope this time is a positive result. Not sure if I can emotionally and physically go through another one. When I got home I just took it easy for the rest of the day and for the next few days I will as well. If the embryo is going to attach to the uterine wall it will be during this time. Which by the way the progestrone helps with this by making the uterus very sticky.
July 7th, 2006 Friday
CD 17
Taking it easy today.
July 8th, 2006 Saturday
CD 18
Woke up this morning and my arm near elbow felt sore. Must of slept funny last night. Took it easy today. Nice day today, hang out outside and visited my sister and her family at the camp and had a barbeque.
July 9th, 2006 Sunday
CD 19
Wow, my arm still hurts. I must have really twisted it or something in my sleep. LOL. I don't know. It hurts though. Just mostly if I touch it. Sat outside in my backyard on my swing and while reading some magazines I fell asleep. This time I remembered the sunblock. Just taking it easy today, back to work tomorrow.
July 10th, 2006 Monday
CD 20
Went back to work today. Another long day at work as usual. Oh well, keeps my mind pre-occupied so I don't dwell on the fact if I'm pregnant or not. Delegating the heavy lifting too. Oh ya, did I mention that I haven't had a cup of coffee since Wednesday, 5 days ago. Made it a little difficult to get through the day at work. I need the caffeine ! But, it will all be worth it in the end. Right ??
July 11th, 2006 Tuesday
CD 21
Again another long day at work. My arm still hurts too. Hurts more everyday. Maybe it was from the IV that they put in me for the retrieval ?
July 12th, 2006 Wednesday
CD 22
Ok. I have had enough of this pain in my arm near my elbow. It has gotten worse. I called my IVF nurse to let her know what was going on with me. I got her voice mail and left a message. She called me back while I was at work and told me to call my family doctor to get it checked out. I later called to see if I could get right in. The earliest they could get me in was at 11:30am tomorrow.
July 13th, 2006 Thursday
CD 23
My Assistant at owrk went home arly claiming to have back trouble. Well, I'm not missing my appointment for anyone. Something is wrong with me and I'm going. I left my Shift Leader in charge while I was gone. I went to my doctor and got the Physician Assistant. She asked me what was going on and I told her of my arm and how it hurts. Well, it feels like hardened skin underneath my skin, no visible bruising. It is very sensitive to the touch. Feels like muscles being pulled when my arm goes above my head. So I don't do that or as little as possible. It also hurts if that area of my arm hits the desk or any object. She wasn't sure what to do and went to get a doctor. Not mine though, some other guy. To this day I have never met my family doctor. LOL. I know he is busy, but it would be nice to met him and for him. Anyway, after being there for an hour and a half. I was then sent up to the hospital to the Vasculer Center to check my arm for blood clots. He performed a Doppler Ultrasound on my chest and right arm and indeed found a blood clot in my right arm near my elbow. Luckily, it wasn't in the deep vein. It was in the Superficial Vein. So the guy that performed the ultrasound then called my doctor, well the P.A. and she told me until we find out that your NOT pregnant we can't give you any pain killers or anything. In the meantime, put a hot towel around your arm. That will help you. I hated the way she said that ! Until we find out that your NOT PREGNANT ! Grrrrr. Chances are she didn't mean it the way it came out, but it still hurt. I then went back to work to check on things and the store. My Shift Leader appearently did ok, in fact they had everything done by 2:30pm Way to go guys ! So later when I got home I put a heating pad around that area of my elbow for awhile. I haven't mentioned my Progestrone shots in awhile to you. They are going well. Doctor Oz (Bob)is a pro at them now. I almost don't feel a thing. Plus this time around I haven't gotten any of those pockets. The ones with the trapped hardened fluid sac at the location of the shots. Doctor Oz when giving me my shots sometimes puts on his Doctor outfit that he got to keep after the transfer. So we really do play doctor. LOL. He looks so cute too. Hee/hee. Hi Honey. :)
July 14th, 2006 Friday
CD 24
I almost had to work today, since my assisstant is out for the next few days due to her back hurting. A manager from one of our other stores that is still on hourly came to my store to work so I could have a day off. Thank-you so much Debbie. I stopped by work to check in on the store. While there my assistant stopped in to get her check and run some errands. I would have relaxed my back not be out walking around everywhere. Anyway, I ran some errands of my own. Then relaxed and did as little as possible. Which how could you anyway, it is 95 degrees here today. Well, speaking of Dr.Oz I gotta to go help him get the food ready for the barbeque. I was doing good about not dwelling on the Pregnancy test day. But today it was on my mind. I work tomorrow so I will be preoccupied again.
July 15th, 2006 Saturday
CD 25
As usual we were short handed again at work. I am so exhausted. Hope I didn't over do it today. I didn't lift anything heavy though. Just a lot of running around non stop. Maybe tomorrow I can get out at a decent hour. Like I have said before, work keeps me so busy I don't have time to think and dwell on the Am I pregnant or not roller coaster. However, once I got home and was finally able to relax a bit and listening to some tunes. I started thinking of the little one that was put inside me. Wondering if he or she is still in there. Yesterday I even got out one of the pregnancy books I had in the spare room, someday nursery and started reading it. Bet your wondering when we will get the news eh? You will find out soon enough. Not sure when I will want to share the news Good or Bad ? There are those immediate Friends and Family I will tell first thing. I'm sure I will tell all the day I find out.
July 16th, 2006 Sunday
CD 26
Wow, today must be a BLUE MOON ? I only get a full crew that shows up for work, once in a blue moon. Today everyone showed up for work and I got out of work at 2:30pm intead of 4-6:30pm. It felt great !!!! I even got to take a "Real Break" today. That felt great too !! You know the kind that you leave your work for 30 minutes for lunch. I was back in 20 but it was great. Brought my lunch to the river front and watched the birds and the boats.I'm thinking about the result day more and more everyday now. I sure hope it works this time. At the same time I'm thinking what makes me think it will work this time, it has failed 3 times. Hello ??? Stress can't be good for me either. Some stress is good for you, for your brain and keeps you on your toes. But then there is the bad stress, which I get a lot of at work. I like my job, however it can be stressful and there is no praising. As for my arm it still hurts, but not as bad as it did. Still haven't touched caffeine. Oh, how I need that cup of coffee though. It will all be woth it in the end. No kitty litter duty either, that is Dr. Oz's new side job. No heavy lifting as directed. Almost had to move two heavy boxes today. I didn't I pushed them. Don't worry it wasn't difficult to move that way.
July 17th, 2006 Monday
CD 27
Almost time for the BIG DAY !!! Chat more later....
July 18th, 2006 Tuesday
CD 28
Went to lab first thing this morning and she immediately knew who I was and called me and another person at the same time. While she was taking his blood, she had me put a heating pad on my left hand to make the veins pop up. While at work my mind would think of "could it be this time". However work kept me so busy I barely had time to get my paperwork done or even think of anything but the in the moment. Things were hectic for awhile. The phone didn't stop ringing either. Oh how I just want to get home and get the news. I have mixed feeling as to if it worked or not. I didn't respond well and only got one embryo for transfer and was hoping for 3.
........................
I feel like another piece of me has died again. Cried so much my head hurts. Want a cup of caffienated coffee too. That's what I'm going to do.The cigarettes I can do without. That's one bad habit I need to stay away from. Some people talk about how stressed out they are. Ha, they don't know stress unless they have been through infertility and treatments. It brings on a whole new meaning of stress. As much as my job drives me crazy at times, it's also the one thing that keeps me going. It keeps me so busy I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I guess that place is my life. Heck most times it runs my life, no time for ME ! I would really love to go camping and just relax. Haven't gone camping in sooooooo long.
Not sure if any more IVF attemps will be taken. As for now. This is the end of the story. Only God know where my life will lead.