CD 1

Follow-up appointment with Dr. Beth. We are going to do things differently this time around. Will keep you informed as each protocol comes about.

July 22nd, 2006 Saturday

CD 2

Doing more IVF research on several failed attemps. I am not a quitter, but I am wondering now if/when to call this quits. I don't feel whole ! A piece of me is missing.

July 23rd, 2006 Sunday

CD 3

Lab work. Make sure they go for left arm. Right arm still has blood clot and still hurts a little.

July 25th Tuesday - July 29th, 2006 Saturday

CD 5 - 9

Take 100 mg's of Clomid

July 30th, 2006 Sunday

CD 10

Lab work again

July 31st, 2006 Monday

CD 11

Went to hospital to have a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done today. It is a test that must be done days 5-12 of your cycle to determine whether the fallopian tubes are open and to see the shape of the uterine cavity is normal.I was put on an x-ray table and a device (cannula) was placed into the opening of my cervix. Then liquid containing iodine (contrast)filled my uterus through the cannula. The contrast then enters the tubes, outlines the length of the tubes, and spills out their ends if they are open. In my case both are closed. It was very painful. So painful in fact that I screamed. I almost fainted on the table. Felt hot, sweaty and shakey all over. The cramps were the worst ever. I have had some pretty bad menstrual cramps, but in my opinion this was worst than all those. I have read that it is controversial whether this procedure enhances fertility, however some studies indicate a slight increase in fertility lasting about three months after a normal HSG.

August 21st, 2006 Monday

CD 1

AF arrived today. Called my nurse to announce that my period has arrived.

August 23rd. 2006 Wednesday

CD 3

Started taking Birth control pills. I had one of my employees totally confused today. A group of them were talking about having kids and or already having them. Well, I told one of them " I'm trying to get pregnant so right now I'm taking birth control pills and prenatal vitamins. Do you think I will get pregnant?" She said um no. With a very confused look on her face. I know, poor, sick joke. I know. Sometimes, you just need to laugh about it, before you just go crazy.

August 31, 2006 Thursday

CD 11

Didn't feel to well at work today. I'm extremelly tired. My head hurts, my eyes feel like dirt is in them and my belly was doing flip flops. Got home and rested a little and felt a little better. Still very tired though. Short handed at work all week.

Sept 1, 2006 Friday

CD 12

Lab work today. Yeah all 14 vials of it. Well she did it so that she only needed 8 vials as oppossed to 14. An older woman took my blood in my arm no problems at all. I remembered her name and wrote it down. Thinking of writting a letter to the hospital of how good she was. She did all this with an oxygen tank hooked up to her and carrrying it on her back in a backpack.

Sept. 2, 2006 Saturday

CD 13

Well, I thought she did good yesterday. Took the Garfield band-aid off and I was bruised really bad. Every color you can think of.

Sept. 8, 2006 Friday

CD 19

Today Bob went to the lab to give 8 or 9 vials of blood for testing. All went well for him and no need for semen tests. Good for him, something he didn't want to do.

Sept 13, 2006 Wednesday

CD 24

Went to the lab today around 7:30 there was a long wait due to the fact they were short help this morning. Finally at 8:00am I was called in. He was looking around my right arm for a place to stick me. I explained to him that often times they have to go in through my hand with a butterfly. I don't care for it, but is ok if he has to do it. He finally was able to get my blood through my left arm and gave me a Taz band-aid. When I took the band-aid off there was no signs of bruising. He said my veins go side ways. I almost forgot about my other arm. The blood clot is still there. I can feel it when I touch that area. But as far as hurting it doesn't hurt like it did. Often times I forget that there is even a blood clot there at all.

Then went to Radiology to go to my ultrasound. Long wait here too. My appointment was for 8am, I got there at 8:15 due to the wait at the lab. They explained there would be a little bit of a wait. As I sat waiting patiently I realized a long time had past. I then went up to the desk and asked if she knew how much longer it would be. 5 minutes later she called my name. Once I was brought to the room where the ultrasound would be. She sat me down in a chair to wait. I waited another 10 minutes. When she came in she explained that they were short handed. I told her the lab was too.

My results from the ultrasound are:

Endometrial Stripe is at 7mm

Right Ovary is measuring 23.4 x 20.9 x 20.3

Total # Follicles 7

# Follicles 10mm or more 0

My nurse called and explained that I will need to continue Birth control pills through Saturday. Once I got off the phone with her I went straight to the pharmacy to get a refill. The pharmacist gave me Reclipsen. I was taking Solia on my last one. The pharmacist explained that is the same thing just a different name. I also noticed she was working alone. My wait wasn't too long though. Wow, everyone has been short staffed. Not just my work either. And I thought my work had the highest call outs around town. Nope even McDonald's down the street was short handed and you could tell by the 5 minute wait in drive-thru. Why is it that nobody wants to work these days. How can they afford not too?

Sept. 16, 2006 Sat.

CD 27

Tonight is my last Birth control pill. Pill free other than prenatal plus.

Sept.19, 2006 Tues.

CD 30

Today I went to my family doctor for my physical and pap. He wants me to go to the lab and get my cholesterol checked again, since the the past 2-3 have been high. He is also running a CMP on me as well. I am tired all the time regardless of how much sleep I get.

Tonight we started on 10 units of Lupron. Needle went in a little hard.

Sept. 20, 2006 Wed.

CD 31

Today I started 10 units of Lupron in the morning and 10 units in the evening. Wow, 20 units of Lupron a day. I am going to be a nut case. The Menopausal Drug Phase.

Sept. 21, 2006 Thurs.

CD 32

Discharge of the so called AF about to arrive

Sept. 22, 2006 Fri.

CD 1

AF is here I guess?? Different the the usual. Anyway, went to the lab today for the cholesterol, potassium and calcium check.

Tonight Bob and I both take Zithromax. And I get get 10 units Lupron, 1 vial of repronex and 225 of Follistim. 3 shots tonight. Let you know tomorrow after the morning shot of Lupron. Ok. Now I'm going to be a nut case.

Sept. 25, 2006 Mon

CD 4

Really bad day today. First thing this morning at work a customer through a sandwich at me and refused to leave the drive thru window we had to call the police to remove her.She wanted a free order and claimed to have spoken to a manager Junita. Which we have no manager with that name. I tried everything I could to calm this women down. Then attempted to then give her the sandwiches to get her out of the drive through only to have them thrown at me then stated that I was the one that held drive thru up. This woman was nasty. Yes customers are always right. But there should be a limit. I was a nice as I could be did everything I could following company policies and yet she was this mean and rude to me. Later I felt overwhelmed and had a crying spell at work in the kitchen. My crew told me that I did a great job and handled it well considering how difficult she was. Anyway, enough of that don't want to get all upset again.

Got home tried calling hospital to pre rigester for tomorrow. No orders for me. No appointment found. Called doctor office they faxed it down again. Nurse called awhile later on my cell phone explaining she faxed it through again and hope they get it this time. Then my house phone rang and I let my nurse go. Finally it is the scheduling center. Got my appointment.

Sept. 26, 2006 Tues.

CD 5

Went to Lab and ultrasound today. All went well. Here are my numbers...

Endometrial stripe is 6.4 mm

Right ovary 27.9 x 33.9 x 44.0

Total # Follicles 16

Folicles 10mm or bigger - 5

Biggest 13.7

Smallest 10.5

Sept 27, 2006

CD 6

Hot flashes and headache today

Sept 28, 2006 Thursday

CD 7

I had Lab and an ultrasound today. Wow, they got me right in both times no delays. My numbers are as follows.

Endometrial Stripe is at 6.9 mm

Right Ovary 25.4 x 48.4 x 38.9

Total of 18 Follicles

9 of them are above 10mm

biggest one is 16.7

smallest one is 10.2

Wow, see why I sometimes feel bloated. Gotta be careful I don't break an egg. LOL. My friends think it is cute when we say that. Eventhough IVF is no joking matter. You need to stay positive and make a joke about it on occasion just to stay sane.

Well, my nurse just called. She said to continue the med like we have been 10 units of Lupron in the morning, 10 units in the evening, 225 Follistim in evening and 1 vial of Repronex in the evening. The trigger, retrieval and transfer are quickly approaching. I am responding much better this time. I have cut back on the caffeine and drink plenty of water. Now prepare myself for giving up on the caffeine. Watch out everyone Tamara is going to be grumpy for awhile.

Sept 29, 2006 Friday

CD 8

Today Bob has blood work. He did good and got a Garefield bandaid.

Sept 30, 2006 Saturday

CD 9

Lab and ultrasound again today. Wow check out my numbers this time.

Endometrial stripe 10.3 mm

Right Ovary - 54.2 x 30.7 x 59.7 (yup could explain a little discomfort and bloating)

Total of Follicles - 13 ( we think he may have missed calculted here)

Follicles above 10mm - 10

Biggest one 20.1 Smallest 10.3 Three are at 19

My E2 level is at 1702

I also read somewhere they grow in average of 2mm a day.

The nurse just called not my regular one though. Anyway, she called to say It is time to trigger ! Yeah ! Only one injection shot tonight. Let's trigger baby ! Bob is to give me the Trigger shot at 9:00pm sharp tonight. We did it and didn't screw it up. The Retrieval is exactly 36 hours after the trigger.

Oct. 1, 2006 Sunday

CD 10

My oldest nephew's birthday is today. Called him and starting singing Happy Birthday to him. He shut me up.LOL no shots tonight, no food or drink after midnight, no scents, jewlery, no nothing before and during retrieval for Monday.

Oct. 2, 2006 Monday

CD 11

Yeah it is retrieval day ! Well we got there and I was then put into one of those hospital gowns with footies and a hair net. Don't I look Pretty? LOL. The nurse had a hard time getting the iv in me. And at that time the anesthetic man showed up and he got me in the left hand. As he was getting the IV in me he was asking me questions. The first thing he asked was. "What a nice day. A good day to go out for breakfast. What did you have for breakfast? Me. "Um nothing? Good answer he says. I was given Doxycycline and something that ended in caine (I'll find out and get back to you) through the iv. I was then directed to the restroom to empty my bladder. And I am now off to the procedure room. My legs were put in stirrups. An oxygen detector thing was put on my finger. They then raised me way up in the air so my doctor could have easier access to retrieve my eggs. The room then had the anesthetic guy, a nurse, my doctor, the embryologist, and two women in training. At about 9:20am. I remember the anesthetic guy telling me "ok I have just slipped you a micky and there is more where those came from". I said ok and that was the last thing I remember. The next thing I knew I was back to my original room with a nurse on my right taking my vitals and Bob on my left. That was around 10:15am and I had been back to my room for awhile. After filling out paper work and going to the restroom we were then free to go home. We got a half dozen eggs. 6 eggs isn't too bad, but I was hoping for more to increase our odds. Now the embryologist starts the ICSI process. This is where they inject the sperm directly into the egg. The staff here is always so nice and a great sense of humor. They make you feel at home and comfortable.

Oct. 3, 2006 Tuesday

CD 12

Back to work. Went in a little earlier than normal today to just get caught up on things. Everything was going fine and the crew was cleaning and stocking during their down time. Then we had a management team meeting at 2pm and I was not able to get my drawers cashed up then. No big deal I'll do it after the meeting. So I thought.After the meeting I walked out front to check on my crew of my next shift and say hi. Only to find I had one employee that didn't show up for work and I couldn't find anyone to come in to work. I ended up working it and doing my cah up in between orders. I didn't get out until 7pm. I am so hungry. I didn't have a chance to take a break (never take a break anyway...but I do occasionally stop for a few a quick bite to eat) Since I worked late I missed the call from my nurse. However Bob did talk to her. She said we only have 2 embryos. We were hoping for atleast 3. I started thinking of the odds and worrying about "What if's" "What if I get there on transfer day and have none. That will break my heart.

Oct. 4, 2006 Wednesday

CD 13

Short handed as usual. Sent one employee home sick. Sent one other employee over to work at one of our other stores. Two employees walked out and quit. One of them being a manager. Then I was short staffed on my 2-10pm shift again. This time a call out. Another store we have sent someone over to work until 7pm. Thank God. Now I can get the scedule completed and finish up the rest of the paperwork. I won't be to work the next few days other than to maybe stop in to visit. Got home just in tome from work tonight. The phone rang and is was my nurse. We are stil on for Thursday transfer. We still have two embyos. Both are 4 cells and one is a grade A the other is a grade B. 4A & 4B that is Good. Let's pray they are both doing well tomorrow.

Oct. 5, 2006 Thursday

CD 14

Today is the Transfer day.

Arrived with full bladder as told. In fact I was too full, then had to go to restroom count to 10 and release a little to relieve some of the pressure. My nurse gave me a Kokopeli in a test tube to hold on to for good luck. A few minutes before it was our turn to go in for our transfer, the embryologist came out to say he is ready to start the assissted hatching process. It is now our turn to go in for transfer. I was put in the stirrups, bladder was checked for fullness by ultrasound. Thought I was going to pee on the table everytime she put pressure on my bladder. The embryologist and my doctor then came in. My doctor told me we have 1 embryo grade of 8B and one of grade 8A. I took a deep breathe of relief and thanked her. I also explained to her that I was worried I may have lost one over night or both of them. I was thinking of the odds. Example: Started with 18 follicles with 10 of them being over 10mm and retrieved 6 eggs.....2 fertilized......2 made it too transfer and still growing. That is good. I was hoping and praying for 3 embryos for transfer and my doctor said if I had three she would have put in three. However, I am satisfied with the 8A & 8B embies. Better than none at all. Ok, now for the big event. The embryologist put our embryos up on the monitor for all of us too see. They both look so beautiful! They were then put into the catheter and inserted into my uterus. Which we can also see on the monitor. There goes one and yup there goes the other one. The embryologist checks the catheter under the microscpre through the monitor to verify they are no longer in the tube. He yells out " Clear". I then had too keep my knees elevated and lay on the table for 15 minutes. Pray, pray pray. Now I am directed to the restroom where I may empty my bladder. AAAAAAHHHHHH what I relief. Thought I would pee forever. Now it is all in God's hands. Please pray with us that we get two little miracles. Or one little miracle. We will be blessed either way.

Oct 17, 2006 Tuesday

CD 26

Got the call from my nurse today of the results. It is a NEGATIVE Result! It didn't work yet again. This is the end of my IVF life. Can't do it anymore physically or emotionally. I am drained.

Thank-you all for your prayers, emails and thoughtfulness.