Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "Out in the streets"- the Shangri La's
Topic: Shangri la de da
I finally made it to the store to buy myself some Christmas presents, to make up for not getting much. It's all good though, because I instructed friends not to buy me anything. I'm impossible to shop for anyways. I trudged through the snow and got the Shangri-La's Greatest Hits cd, and a Belle & Sebastian bootleg, and ordered the new Slowdive import comp. The Shangri-La's are so underrated- good, hyper dramatic mid 60's pop. The B & S bootleg kinda sucks, but it does have an excellent demo version of "Slow Graffiti", one of my favourite songs by them. The demo version has a lot of reverb and more pronounced percussion on it, and has a strange meloncholy quality that the studio version lacks. I love the lyrics-


There's a portrait
In a back room,
Which I keep for days upon, which I relent
And gaze for hours on the muscle skin and bone of some
Imaginary friend.

So how about it?
Show me please how I will look in twenty years
And let me please,
Interpret history in every line and scar that's painted
There in front of me.

It doesn't matter what I'm thinking
What I tell myself to do
I'll end up calling.


I did a mean thing today- I was outside smoking and the neighbours little foo-foo mobile was stuck in the 18 inches of snow we got- instead of helping, I just watched blankly and finished my smoke. I thought about helping, but that would have involved putting out my freshly lit Marlboro, and they never say hello to me anyways. Oh well.

Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: "Close to me"- the Cure
Topic: post Xmas blues

"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? It's a beautiful world all right." ~~ Bill Watterson (author of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes)


Well, I survived yet another holiday. It wasn't really anything at all- the day just went by with nary a mention of the fact that it was Christmas. The only part of the day that annoyed me slightly was that all the stores were closed, and I had it in my head that I wanted to go buy the new import Slowdive comp.

I was invited to a holiday party but couldn't go, due to the fact that it was too far away to walk, and my ride bailed on me. Every year my friends Matt and Mary throw a party on the 25th, complete with music and their very excellent homemade beer. Alas, it was not to be. Sometimes, not driving sucks. And I hate calling people up and begging for a ride, so I stayed in and listened to cds and smoked a lot of cigarettes instead. I couldn't bring myself to call at the last minute and request someone to come pick up my pathetic ass, so I missed out. Oh well. There's always next year, assuming I'm still in Ohio at that time- which I sincerely hope not to be. Move eastward-that's my plan for 2005.


I got some pix in my email of an ex that I'm still on good terms with. He's such a nutjob- a blue haired, burly punque type. He looks exactly the same as when I was dating him. I can't believe he's single- he's funny, neurotic (in a good way) and well versed in music. Too bad he's back in Chicago and I'm stuck in Hell, aka Ohio.

Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "Bad Moon Rising"- Sonic Youth
Topic: arrgghh

Well, I logged onto myspace.com, and lo and behold- my entire pic profile, blog, friend list, was GONE! According to them, it was either deleted by them, or by me. I didn't, so they must have screwed up. I certainly didn't have anything profane, or questionable in my blog. The whole thing annoys me, cuz I was corresponding with some rather interesting peeps on there. I've said it before, and I'll say it again- technology sucks.

Mood:  down
Now Playing: "Chorus"- Erasure
Topic: Erasure
from Billboard.com-

Erasure's Bell Reveals HIV-Positive Status

Erasure principal Andy Bell has confirmed he has been HIV-positive for more than six years. "I found out I was [HIV-positive] in June 1998 when I had a bout of pneumonia in Mallorca," he said in a statement released to Billboard.com. "Since then, I have been taking combination therapy and I am feeling fine. In fact, I have never felt better."

"Being [HIV-positive] does not mean that you have AIDS," he continued. "My life expectancy should be the same as anyone else's so there is no need to panic. There is still so much hysteria and ignorance surrounding HIV and AIDS [so] lets just get on with life, i.e. making music, doing a live tour and generally having a good time."

And here's a bit of scandalous gossip about Andy. Andy was a legend on Hampstead Heath for many years. One night he was getting his serviced on the Heath whilst wearing a motor-cycle helmet to protect his identity. Suddenly Andy looked down at the man pleasuring him.He went limp as he recognised an equally famous 80s pop star... Jimmy Somerville.

I saw Erasure live a few times- good, campy fun.

Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: "13 Memories"- Travis


My friend Ted sent me this, so I filled it out- simple as dat!

CLOTHES: Black jeans, concert tees or if I'm feeling swanky, a button up and a sweater.
MUSIC: always
TASTE: coffee
MAKE-UP: nevah!
HAIR: my current haircut looks like it was done by an imaginative hedge trimmer.
ANNOYANCE: telemarketers
SMELL: I smell good- I just showered!
DESKTOP PICTURE: The cover art from Belle & Sebastian's "Legal Man" ep
FAVORITE GROUP: Smiths, B & S, My Life Story, Wire, too many to name.
BOOK YOU'RE READING: "Stranger in a strange land"- Heinlein
CD IN PLAYER: "13 Memories"- Travis
DVD IN PLAYER: none
COLOR OF TOENAILS: putty
REFRESHMENT: coffee
CANDY: please- and strangers always have the best
ANIMAL: 2 ungrateful cats
TV SHOW: Simpsons and AbFab
MOVIE: "Rabbitproof Fence"
DANCE: I am incapable of dancing
SONG: "Peace the Fuck Out"- Travis
VEGETABLE: tomatoes with salt and pepper
FRUIT: berries
CARTOON: it's not really a cartoon per se, but "Lancelot Link"

UNDERSTANDING: at times
OPEN-MINDED: mostly
ARROGANT: inwardly, yes
INSECURE: often
INTERESTING: I'd like to think I am
RANDOM: I'm not sure I understand...
HUNGRY: no, I just ate a huge bowl of Life cereal
SMART: I'm smartmouthed, does that count?
MOODY: I'm on the prozac roller coaster
CHILDISH: when necessary
HARDWORKING: depends on the task at hand
ORGANIZED: don't make me laugh
HEALTHY: I wish
SHY: around strangers and people I find attractive
DIFFICULT: like a puzzle
ATTRACTIVE: to people with odd tastes, yes
BORED EASILY: yes
MESSY: clutter is my enemy
THIRSTY: yes, for more coffee
RESPONSIBLE: I can't say
OBSESSED: I'm a potential stalker
ANGRY: I tend towards being amused by things that anger me
SAD: sometimes
HAPPY: occasionally
HYPER: rarely
TRUSTING: hmm....
TALKATIVE: I vacillate between being mute and a yapper.
LEGAL: I think so.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO?

KILL: ignorance
SLAP: everyone who voted for Bush- line up, folks.
GET REALLY WASTED WITH: not often enough
GET HIGH WITH: I'd like to, with Ted
LOOK LIKE: an unholy cross between Nick Cage and the guy from Echo and the Bunnymen
TALK TO OFFLINE: the voices in my head
TALK TO ONLINE: the voices in the computer
MY NAME IS: Mike
IN THE MORNING I AM: hugging the coffee maker
ALL I NEED IS: love and a backrub
LOVE IS: horrible/amazing
I'M AFRAID OF: clowns, monkeys, and monkeys dressed as clowns.
I DREAM ABOUT: living on the set of the "Willy Wonka" movie
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: hair
LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: I don't think I have...ever. Maybe you can be the first.
WORST QUESTION TO ASK: "Does this make me look fat?"
WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: the antics of my cats
WHO MAKES YOU SMILE: my friends
GIVES YOU A FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU SEE THEM: the police
WHO DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: none of your beeswax
HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: I don't think anyone does
IS EASIEST TO TALK TO: lots of people I know

HAVE YOU EVER

FALLEN FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?: Yes- we ended up dating for years.
BEEN IN LOVE?: yeah
BEEN REJECTED?: more times than I care to remember
REJECTED SOMEONE?: yep- gently I hope
USED SOMEONE?: probably
BEEN CHEATED ON?: Yes
CHEATED ON SOME ONE?: Yes
DONE SOMETHING YOU REGRET?: I only regret things I haven't done
LIED?: I'm sure I have

EXTRAS

SMOKE CIGARETTES?: Yes
COULD YOU LIVE WITHOUT THE COMPUTER?: No
COLOR YOUR HAIR?: I used to
EVER GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER?: hardly
HABLA ESPANOL?: "Vente en mi boca"
HOW MANY PEEPS ARE ON UR BUDDY LIST?: about a dozen
DRINK ALCOHOL?: yeah
LIKE WATCHING SUNRISES OR SUNSETS?: No, I prefer the moon.
WHAT HURTS MORE, PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL PAIN?: Emotional

I KNOW: many ways to skin a cat
I WANT: money and my own talk show
I HAVE: a tank full of fish
I WISH: I lived in a city.
I HATE: pointless frustration
I FEAR: the monkey/clown thing
I HEAR: my cat meowing
I SEARCH: for the love within
I WONDER: what that fuzz in my navel is, and where it comes from
I REGRET: didn't we cover this?
I LOVE: sweet guys, sassy girls
I ACHE: so I took an advil
I CARE: about stuff.
I AM NOT: the boy next door. If you want him go next door. LOL
I DANCE: like I'm having a seizure
I SING: badly
I CRY: at certain songs
I DO NOT ALWAYS: do things in the proper order
I FIGHT: as a last resort
I WRITE: fiction
I WIN: I have never, EVER, lost a game of Trivial Pursuit.
I LOSE: like a crybaby
I CONFUSE: peoples names
I LISTEN: fairly well
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: near the coffee maker
I NEED: a backrub
I AM HAPPY: see above
I SHOULD HAVE: trinkets and baubles from someone who loves me.

Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: "Incident on south street"- the Lounge Lizards
Topic: easy money and goats

"Chain letters are the postal equivalent of intestinal flu: you get it and pass it along to your friends."
~~Bob Garfield

Woohoo! I got my first ever chain letter in the mail today! A Miss Graham in Lumberton, Mississippi sent me a three page missive on how I, in several easy steps, can achieve financial independence. The letter itself is rather humourous. Miss Graham goes out of her way several times to point out that the scheme she's foisting on me isn't a "chain letter", but a "fail safe money making venture". Uh huh. So what do I have to do to reap $968,493? ( I don't know where she pulled that figure from either) Well, send the letter to five people and enclose a dollar, and add my name to the bottom of the list of suckers, oops, I mean names. And this is different from a chain letter how? The part that caught my eye was Miss Graham's repeated assertion that she is a retired attorney and knows all the legalities involved. Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to investigate this "Miss Graham". It wasn't too hard- I have her mailing address from the envelope. Well, the Bar Association of her county has never heard of her, but the Robeson County Cooperative
Extension Center in Lumberton has. That's because she is an administrative assistant for (get this) a goat processing plant. Yes, she works for one of the "top quality meat goat" processing plants in the country. In her (not a chain) letter, she says she has retired from law and is now financially independent. I guess she took the goat gig for the sheer fun of it. I love Google! You can get the 411 on anyone with a few minutes on a search engine. I do like goats though- goats are punk rock. But I'm not sending her or anyone else on her list any money. Especially not to someone who thinks goats are for eating.

Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: "Touched by the hand of God"- New Order
Topic: Just call me Mr Yoder
"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."
~~ Alice Kahn




I hate technology!

I spent countless hours in front of the computer this weekend,trying to figure out how to convert a mini-movie of myself into a different format. Right now, it is in a large, unwieldy format that takes up too much space, so I thought I could just compress it somehow into an easier to work with format. I even downloaded a program to help me with said task. And I still don't understand what I'm doing. I ended up cursing a lot at the screen and getting progressively angrier. I swear, I was meant to be Amish. Do the Amish actively recruit to join their ranks? If the military, Jehovah's Witnesses, and the Homosexuals recruit, I don't see why the Old Order Amish can't. I can change my name to Zeke Yoder and shun such worldly inventions like telephones and Windows XP. The most difficult implement I'd be faced with is an axe or a butter churn- those I can handle. The world's largest concentration of Amish are in the county just south of me, so I can just toddle down the road and sign up. I don't drive anyways, so right there, I've got one of their tenets down pat. Plus, they shun people as punishment- I'm down with that. Hmm...

Mood:  don't ask
Topic: this just in....I'm crazy
Which America hating minority are you?

So I took this fun quiz over at QuizDiva to see what kind of unpatriotic weirdo I might be. Turns out I'm a conspiracy theory nut. I swear, just because all my hats are lined with tinfoil doesn't mean I'm a loon- it's for insulation purposes...really!

I saw this on the BBC website, so that was my laugh for the day- Britney really is toxic! Last updated 10 December 2004 Britney's caused a stink on a flight from LA to New York, according to tabloid reports. They claim Britney took her shoes off and the hum from her feet was so bad an air stewardess had to ask her to put them back on.

I saw the trailer for the Tim Burton remake of "Willy Wonka" and I can't decide if I'm lovin on it or I despise it and want Tim Burton fed to a pack of rabid wolves. I'm still smarting over his disastrous "re-imagining" of "Planet of the Simians", so we'll see when it comes out next summer.

Speaking of revisionism, here is an interesting article I came across- School defends slavery booklet By T. KEUNG HUI, Staff Writer Students at one of the area's largest Christian schools are reading a controversial booklet that critics say whitewashes Southern slavery with its view that slaves lived "a life of plenty, of simple pleasures." Leaders at Cary Christian School say they are not condoning slavery by using "Southern Slavery, As It Was," a booklet that attempts to provide a biblical justification for slavery and asserts that slaves weren't treated as badly as people think. Principal Larry Stephenson said the school is only exposing students to different ideas, such as how the South justified slavery. He said the booklet is used because it is hard to find writings that are both sympathetic to the South and explore what the Bible says about slavery. "You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective," he said. 'SOUTHERN SLAVERY, AS IT WAS' Here are some excerpts from the booklet:

* "Slavery as it existed in the South was not an adversarial relationship with pervasive racial animosity. Because of its dominantly patriarchal character, it was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence." (page 24)

* "There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world. Slave life was to them a life of plenty, of simple pleasures, of food, clothes, and good medical care." (page 25)

* "But many Southern blacks supported the South because of long established bonds of affection and trust that had been forged over generations with their white masters and friends." (page 27)

What an interesting perspective! Owning people is not quite as bad as we've been led to believe. This world gets curiousier and curiouser with every passing day. I'm off to adjust the tinfoil lining on my hat now!

Mood:  chillin'
Topic: apparently, I look young
"There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings."
~~Quentin Crisp



I'm such a retard. I spent half the day thinking it was friday, and it is, in fact, saturday. Since it was freezing and snowing out, I went for a walk and pretended like I was the last person on earth. I love the sound of snow crunching under my boots and staring at the sky. I toyed with the idea of toddling downtown and hitting the bars, but I'm broke and hate schmoozing drinks from strangers. I had a long talk with an interesting bloke from Indiana, who is so unlike me it is scary. If he were closer, I'd ask him out for coffee. Or something.

I got carded for smokes today, which made me feel oddly good. I don't think I look that youthful but apparently I do, at least to teenage girlys at Wal-greens. Hmm.....

I didn't socialize much at all. I yapped with my friend Brad down in Columbus- he tells me his adventures with sex, alcohol, and causing mayhem and I live vicariously through him. Straight boys are so funny.

The holiday show yesterday was alright. The first half was Santa-ho ho ho music, the second half was Jesus-centric and much more solemn. The old biddies who work at the Civic are like stormtroopers in polyester- God help you if you don't have your ticket in hand at all times, or attempt to cut thru the line on the way to your seat. They'll knock you sideways with their walkers. Now I have it in my head that Christmas is over, since that was probably the most holiday-ish thing I'll do this season. Oh well.





"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
~~Jack Handy

Mood:  a-ok
This is kinda fun- my sister won tickets to some big holiday concert at the Akron Civic Theater. I love that place- it is a huge art deco theater, built in 1929. I'm amazed at the number of people who live in the area and have never been inside it- the place is spectacular. So I'll put aside my Grinchy tendencies for a night and simply enjoy it.