Tail

A Dragon Ball Z/Ranma 1/2
crossover by
Shelle


Disclaimer: Neither Dragonball Z, nor Ranma 1/2 belong to me.
I claim no rights to them.


Genma Saotome watched the rain as it pelted down on their campsite... from the safety of his tent of course.

“So, Tendou-kun,” he said conversationally, “how long do you think it’ll before we find our way back to your dojo?”

“Ah, relax Saotome-kun,” Soun said, seeing through his friends nonchalant facade. “This will give my Akane and your Ranma plenty of quality time together. If you’re worried because Ranma’s never been away from you so long before, rest assured, he’s a fine young man now.”

But this did nothing to assuage Genma’s fears.

- -_-__–_–__–_–_–_----- - - _- - – _-- - _-- – - - - _ - -_ - -

Ranma idly stared up at the ceiling of his and his father’s room, fanning himself idly. It was an unusually hot night, not the first in this current heat wave. But that wasn’t what caused Ranma to retire so early that evening.

Who would of thought it’d be so... so... weird without the old man? Ranma furrowed his brow and shifted to idly scratch the small of his back.

“I made ice cream!” Ranma was already barreling down the stairs before he realized. He halted suddenly, his face planting itself on the bottom stair. Kasumi was out shopping... Nabiki was visiting friends... that meant...

“Hurry up Ranma, or it’ll melt!” Akane.

Ranma was suddenly barreling up the stairs as fast as he’d barreled down them. Panting wildly, his gaze swept the hallway. Gotta hide, gotta hide...

“Ranma!” She was coming up the stairs!

Suddenly Ranma spotted him. P-chan came trotting out of the bathroom, apparently looking for Akane. Ranma grabbed him, and flung him down the stairs.

Ranma hurtled out the window, just as an explosion of curses and squeals emanated from the stairway.

<8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8 <8

Ukyou smiled dreamily at Ranma as he sat at the counter, hunched over a plate of super-deluxe okonomiyaki. He paused to scratch the small of his back, then countinued with his story.

“... And then I had to sacrifice P-chan so that I may live,” He struck a solemn pose. Ukyou burst out laughing, and he joined her.

“Ranma! You jerk!”

Akane stood framed in the doorway, a bowl of black ice cream in one hand, and a bump sporting P-chan in the other. Her face was red with fury.

“Uh... uh Akane.” Ranma was frozen in the Takahashi gesture of shock.

“I’ll teach you to run out on my ice cream!” She stepped forward.

“Hey!” Said Ukyou, slamming the okonomiyaki she was preparing on the counter. “Ranchan doesn’t have to eat anything he doesn’t want to!”

“Who says?! He’ll eat my ice cream and he’ll like it!”

“He will not!”

He will too!”

“Will not!”

“Will too!”

“Will... Ranchan?”

o\---------------------------------------------------->

Ranma ran harder as he recognized the sounds of pursuit.

“Ranchan! Wait! You didn’t finish your okonomiyaki!”

“Ranma! Hurry up and eat your ice cream! It’ll melt!”

Ranma turned a corner and ran smack into Mousse. Damn.

“Shampoo! My love! You have sought out my arms at last!” He attempted to squeeze Ranma to death.

“Let go!” Ranma could here Ukyou’s and Akane’s footsteps behind him. “I’m not Shampoo stupid!”

“Saotome! How dare you impersonate my beloved Shampoo! Fist of the White Swan!” Ranma ducked, twisted, and ran.

Ranma didn’t see the bicycle descending upon his head until it was too late .

“Fancy Shampoo meet airen on last rounds. Take Shampoo on date now, yes?”

“Not... now... running for... life...”

“Life? Airen must stop run sometime, start take Shampoo on date, yes.”

“Shampoo! My love!”

“Ack! Stupid Duck Boy!”

Shampoo let go of Ranma long enough for him to make his getaway.

“Wait! Airen! Shampoo have ramen!”

<~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~

Ranma leapt another roof top, Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyou, and Akane hot on his tail *^_~*. Run, hide... hungry. Damn, shoulda finished that okonomiyaki.

“Ranma-sama!” Cooed Kodachi in a lacy black nightgown. She descended from nowhere and wrapped herself around Ranma’s neck.

“Ack... Kodachi!”

“Luckily I spied you from my balcony while gazing at the heavens. And who should fall into my arms but my own celestial darling!” She attempted to smother him with kisses.

“Saotome you fiend! Not only do you shamelessly hound Akane and the Pig-tailed Girl, but here I find you forcing your debase charms on my own flesh and blood. I will not allow it!” Kunou was not far behind Kodachi, for once ruffled looking, and wearing... footed pajamas! They were fluffy and white and... and... Ranma would have laughed himself to tears if he wasn’t already almost terrified to tears at the sounds of pursuit getting closer.

He frantically disengaged Kodachi’s arms from around his neck and took off running for the nearest rooftop. Oh man, this ain’t my night... and my back itches like hell...

“Not now Kunou, I-”

Time stood still. As the chase had preceded P-chan had decided to take it upon himself to punish the object of Akane’s wrath. He slowly worked his way up the line of pursuing martial artists. Out of Akane’s arms, between Ukyou’s legs, under and out of Mousse’s robes, dodging the wheels of Shampoo’s bicycle, entangling himself in and freeing himself from Kodachi’s black gauze nightgown, and springboarding off Kunou’s head. There! His goal was in sight.

With a piggy squeal of rage, he launched himself at the nearest part of Ranma’s anatomy.

*Chomp* “AAAHHHH!”

P-chan opened one eye, then the other. A... a tail?

~O=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma was, apparently, in shock. That changed though, as soon as he saw who was waiting for him back at the dojo.

“Oyaji,” he growled, as he watched his father and Soun dump their camping equipment on the florr.

“Ranma m’boy!” He said pleasantly, though he appeared a bit nervous. “How’s it been?”

“Oh fine,” said Ranma with tightly veiled rage. “Except for this little, teensy, weensy question I have.”

“And what would that be?” Asked his father, looking even more nervous.

“What the hell is this Oyaji?!” He presented his brand new, peat brown, furry... monkey tail. He wagged it demonstratively. Genma slowly began to inch away.

“Where do you think you’re going! I know you know something about this Oyaji!”

o\ ^#(*$%)%)*%)*%*censored*%$$&$$%$&)%)**)^^

[Ranma, if I kept secrets from you... it was only for your well being!]

Ranma-chan kicked the panda’s already bumpy head. It hadn’t improved her mood any to learn that this new... tail... stayed with her even in cursed form.

“Start talking Oyagi!” She none too gently dumped a kettle out over his head.

Genma met the glares of the rest of the fiances that had been present for Ranma’s tail discovery, as well as the Muu Muu’s and P-chan’s curious gazes. At the appearance of Ranma-chan, Kunou had been sent home via her fist.

“Well,” began Genma reluctantly. “The accident happened when Ranma was only an infant...”

/flashback/flashback/flashback/flashback/flashback/flashback

A younger Genma, probaby in his early thirties, frantically overturns furniture, casts pillows aside, and even peers under sugar dishes. He appears to be desperately searching for something, his eyes wild with panic. He mumbles over in over under his breath, as if a mantra, “She’s gonna kill me, she’s gonna kill me, she’s gonna kill me.” He finally throws aside a lampshade and races outside.

“Ranma!” He calls out as he races into a nearby wood. “Cry, scream, laugh, make noise!” He yells.

And then he hears it. A baby’s giggling coo. Heady with relief, he heads for the sound. There! Half hidden by underbrush, is a small, wiggling form. The tiny baby boy looks up at him and gives him a toothless smile.

Genma scoops him up and holds him to his chest, breathing heavily as if he has just narrowly escaped death. And in a way, he has. “Remind me to never again drink while I’m babysitting,” he says to himself wryly. It is only when he gets up to return to his house when he notices were the baby is laying. There is a little crater in the ground where his baby had been laying, blackened as if something at high temperatures had hit the earth, burying itself in turf.

Genma looks closer at his baby. “What have you been doing Ranma?” He said aloud, brow furrowed. Ranma’s hair has come out of it’s pigtail, and now frames his face in a messy black mane. Even stranger, he’s clad in some king of tortoise shell material, like mini armor.

Genma shrugs, chalking it off to last night’s drunken whims. It is only when he gets home and hurries to change Ranma into some clothes Nodoka wouldn’t question that he notices it.

A furry peat brown tail extends from the baby, wagging playful and carefree. Genma stops and stares. The baby whips him across the face with it, and giggles. Genma thinks he might go into shock. “This isn’t Ranma!” He cries. The baby giggles again. Genma sweats. “What to do, what to do, what to do.”

“Hmmm...” Genma thinks hard. “This isn’t Ranma but... it could be.” He quickly checks the baby over for any incriminating birthmarks. Nothing. Nothing but... that tail. Making his decision, Genma grabs hold of the furry tail and squeezes his eyes shut.

It pops right off. The baby begins to cry. Genma tries to comfort him and examines the place where the tail used to be. Just a shiny pink, perfect circle, like a rug burn. And rapidly disappearing. Genma sighs, and the baby begins to laugh again. Saotome Genma smiles. He’s just pulled his hide out of the frying pan.

^`\|/><.|.`/|/`\`/~.``/`..\~/~>.\~>/`/>|~\../`/./`>.\`.|>/~.

“... And for a while, I thought everything would be fine. It wasn’t until later when I noticed the tail had grown back. I pulled it off again, and after a period of time, there it was. It was hard to time exactly when it’d appear again, so I was always kept on my toes. The Nodoka started to catch on. I panicked. If she found out, she’s kill me! So I did the only thing I could. I scheduled our training trip a little earlier than planned.”

Genma stopped talking, and looked up to meet the the feet of four very pissed off fiances. Shouts of, “You negligent monster!” and “Monstrous irresponsibility!” echoed throughout the room. But surprisingly enough, Ranma was not a part of it. Ranma was gone.

(( O )) (( O )) (( O )) (( O )) (( O )) (( O )) (( O )) (( O ))

Oh man, He thought leaning up against the roof. After a quick trip to the furo he was up on the roof in his boy form, trying desperately to grasp what he had just learned. My Pop’s not even my Pop, He thought sadly, My Mom’s not really my Mom. I don’t know who I am anymore. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m human anymore! It can’t get much worse than this.

Up above Ranma, in the Nerima sky, the three quarters full moon glowed dully from behind the clouds.


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