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ACURA:
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Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile |
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Asia's Curse Upon Rural America |
AMC:
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All Makes Combined |
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A Major Cost |
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A Mutated Car |
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A Morons Car |
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Another Major Catastrophe |
AUDI:
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Always Unsafe Designs Implemented |
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Accelerates Under Demonic Influence |
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Automobile Under Demonic Influence |
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Another Ugly Deutsche Invention |
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Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence |
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Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. |
BMW:
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Big Money Works |
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Bought My Wife |
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Brutal Money Waster |
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Break My Window |
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Break My Windshield |
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Babbling Mechanical Wench |
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Beastly Monstrous Wonder |
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Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels |
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Beautiful Mechanical Wonder |
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Barely Moving Wreck |
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Big Money Waste |
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Big Money. Why? |
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Big Money Works |
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Born Moderately Wealthy |
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Breaks Most Wrenches |
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Bring Many Wrenches |
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Brings Me Women |
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Brings More Women |
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Broken Money Waster |
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Broke My Wallet |
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Broken Monstrous Wonder |
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Bumbling Mechanical Wretch |
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Blasphemous Motorized Wreck |
BUICK:
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Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer |
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Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King |
Camaro: Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One??
CHEVROLET:
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Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips |
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Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time |
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Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time |
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Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques |
DODGE:
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Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere |
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Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater |
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Dead Old Dog Going East |
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Dead On Day Guarantee Expires |
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Dead On Delivery, Go Easy |
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Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired |
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Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter |
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Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment |
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
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Failure in Italian Automotive Technology |
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Fix It Again, Tony! |
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Fix It All the Time |
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Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation |
FORD:
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Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge |
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Fix Or Repair Daily |
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Found On Road Dead |
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Fast Only Rolling Downhill |
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First On Race Day |
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First On Recall Day |
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Fabricated Of Refried Dung |
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Fails On Rainy Days |
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Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream |
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Fatally Obese Redneck Driver |
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Fault Of R&D |
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Finally Obsolete Racing Device |
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Fireball On Rear Denting |
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First On Road to Dump |
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First On Rust and Deterioration |
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Fix Or Recycle Dilemma |
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Flipping Over Results in Death |
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Flipped Over Roadside Disaster |
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Follow Our Rusty Dogsled |
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Foot On Road Decelerates |
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Forced On Reluctant Drivers |
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Formed Of Rejected DNA |
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Forwarded Once; Return Denied |
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Forward Only; Reverse Defective |
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Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin |
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Fork Over Repair Dough |
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Fouled Out Re-done Dodge |
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Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration |
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Free Or Reduced Drastically |
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Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed |
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Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable |
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Funny Old Rattling Dump |
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(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot |
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
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General Maintenance |
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Great Mistake |
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Garbage Motors |
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Generally Miserable |
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Grossly Misconceived |
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Gluteus Maximus |
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Good Money |
GMC:
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Garage Man's Companion |
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Gotta Mechanic Coming? |
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Generally Mediocre Cars |
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Get More Chicks |
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Gets Mechanics Crazy |
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Gods Mechanical Curse |
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Got More Crap |
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Great Mountain Climber |
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Great Motor Car |
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
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Had One Never Did Again |
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Hang On, Not Done Accelerating |
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Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles |
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Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles |
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
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Just Eats Every Part |
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Just Empty Every Pocket |
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Junk Engineering Executed Poorly |
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
M.G.: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR
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Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly |
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Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously |
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Most Often Passed At Races |
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Mostly Old Parts And Rust |
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Move Over People Are Racing |
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Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly |
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My Old Pig Ain't Running |
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My Only Problems Are Repairs |
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE:
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Old Ladies Driving Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday |
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Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment |
PINTO:
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Put In Nickel To Operate |
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Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook |
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
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Send Another Automobile Back |
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Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown |
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Sad Attempt At Beauty |
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Sorry Auto, Always Broken |
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Shape Appears Ass-Backwards |
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
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Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto |
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Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass |
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The One You Ought To Avoid |
TRIUMPH:
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This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help! |
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Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt! |
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
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