Howdy folks! This is my old site. If you want to hang around, fine. If you want to go to my NEW site, click on the BANJOPHIL clickie thing, at left. And now for a few jokes to put you in a good mood.####### What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him. You go get him!####### What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. ####### My wife finally told me why she married me. She said that just like all women, she never could resist anything that was 50% off. ####### Speaking of women, I recently found a new aftershave that just drives women wild! It smells like a credit card! ####### Did you hear that the invisible man and the invisible woman got married? They sure did, but their children certainly aren't much to look at.####### There, now...You should be in one heckuva good mood.#####Scroll on down the page for some of my favorite quotes...

You are idiot number to visit this page!!!

       BROMIDES, PROVERBS, OLD SAYINGS, AND QUOTES      

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names"
...Wise old Chinese proverb

"Testing One Two Three"...Mike

"I cannot lay my finger on that article in the Constitution that
allows Congress to spend the money of their constituents
for the purposes of benevolence." ...Walter Williams (Economics
professor at George Mason University), quoting James Madison,
father of our Constitution

"I tought I taw a puddy tat!"...Tweety

"Politicians never accuse you of greed for wanting other people's
money---only for wanting to keep your own money."...Joseph Sobran

"When they start calling you names, you've won the argument."
...Wise old Chinese proverb

"Education seems to be in America the only commodity of 
which the customer tries to get as little he can for his 
money." 
...Max Forman

"Things are more like they are now than they ever have been."
...President Gerald Ford

"Outside of the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest 
crime rates in the country."
...Marion Barry, mayor of Washington D.C.

"Nothing should ever be implied as law which leads to unjust
or absurd consequences."...Abraham Lincoln

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone."
...Wise old Chinese proverb

"Our Constitution was made for a moral and religious people.
It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other."
...John Adams, 2nd president of the USA

"When you always do what you've always done, then you'll 
always get what you've always got."
...Wise old Chinese proverb

At liberal university campuses, "diversity" is defined
 as a staff that includes a black Marxist, a lesbian Marxist,
 a Latino Marxist, a transgender Marxist, a feminist Marxist,
 a Native American Marxist, and so forth.
 The one kind of diversity not permitted is 
diversity of political view or values...Lowell Ponte

Thanks to the interstate highway system,
 it is now possible to travel
across the country from coast to coast
 without seeing anything...Charles Kuralt