andrew recent

the moons an old man
its wrinkled face sagging the sky
its dull beams engulf me
yellow light dragging me down

acceptance

what i am
what another is
change doesn't come

is it any of my business?

cries for help
cries to be left alone
indifference

it can get pretty meaningless

the fabulous stars!
surreal liquid
dolloped on the night sky

shattered is what shows
flow was before

clear undistorted
both ways are real

moonlight -

help is a myth
my tides flow you
where would you turn?

a summer poem

yellow wildflowers on the bank of the stream
the tinkling brook as it flows over stones
laughter....

walked up the valley today, following the stream, fairly hot with a bit of a wind... small fish darting away as i walked, white cockatoo's overhead at times and very noisy with their screeching call...rather lovely gliding around and flapping ....then crossing over to the other side and following the stream back down where it winds through some flat paddocks with dandilion flowers waving in the breeze and looking along the stream banks and seeing another type of yellow wild flower admidst the green of the grass and a sort of light green rush growing up from the water.... the sun and the flowers and the tinkling stream... the whole thing was just laughing

there is no remedy
no fault ..
beyond what we are
and how can we be blamed for that?
there is no God
no personal benificent entity
something may smile from a distance
but it can canker
moods are hard to explain
and the world doesn't makes sense
I can understand anything except
children being visited with the sins of the parents
There is no intention in anything
my heart is stiff
with no capacity to listen
GOD THIS HURTS

a pure blue sky today, the sun dreaming in the pine and
macrocarpa tops. looking in the dust the following wrote
itself

from the blue sky

misery digs the grave
psychosis is pall bearer
kindness and generosity weep in the train.
wrath has moved on.
in the grave
spiders wait to devour

in the silence
slit wrists ooze

met a girl of 16 on irc the other nite, with great busy-ness had set up her own channel "depresion and suicide", mass invited the server, a few turned up and the tragedy started to unfold. Severe depression is so utterly real that it wrenches your eyeballs, bits and pieces started to drift thru, someone criticised her for misspelling "depresion", her response was fine i'll spell it with two s's next time, someone else dropped in to crack about lame brains or similar, she responded that was not nice and complained of fragility, he left, someone asked why the mass invites, among other reasons "and I need help" drifted through and in the conversation following it emerged she was at home alone, and worried that the intensity of feeling from the coming depression would be overwhelming and she would commit suicide, she had had two attempts before. I cannot remember the way she described the fear and helplessness before depressive intensity, but it overwhelmed me. She was sick, spewing up the anti-depressant medication and left the channel, I have not seen her back on irc and don't really know wether she is dead or alive.

and time ceases...
and time ceases...
rattle rattle
hmm.. no words in the box today.

tears

soft

falling

rain

smiles curl
hugs congeal
blood flows