this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed   !



 lediger Baum und vermählte Bäume (1940), google translate gives ' unmarried and married trees ' !

i have got to say max ernst is one of my   favourite   painters !

 lediger Baum und vermählte Bäume (1940), google translate gives ' unmarried and married trees ' !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’   and autism  are an  ‘ oversimplification ”

the reality is very uneven and even has savancies !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’   and autism  are an  ‘ oversimplification ”

the reality is very uneven and even savancies !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’   and autism  are an  ‘ oversimplification ”  the reality is very uneven and even has savancies !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’   and autism  are an  ‘ oversimplification ”  the reality is very uneven and even savancies !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’  and autism are an  ‘ oversimplification ”  the reality is very uneven and even has savancies !

the supposed  “ poor social skills ”  of   “ autistic spectrum ’  and autism are an   ‘ oversimplification ”  the reality is very uneven and even savancies !

“ normal ”  is just a construct of   a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


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“ normal ”  is just a construct of a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


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)

“ normal ”  is just a construct of   a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


)


(

“ normal ”  is just a construct of a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


)


(

“ normal ”  is just a construct of   a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


(

“ normal ”  is just a construct of a type of illusion about reality !

. .


o


(

“ normal ”  is just a construct of   a type of illusion about reality !

“ normal ”  is just a construct of a type of illusion about reality !

“normal”  is just a construct of  a type of illusion about reality

“normal”  is just a construct of a type of illusion about reality

dogen is in fact completely autistic

bodhidharma may have been executed, that would be typical of some sort of social mess and offending the wrong people !

dogen is in fact completely autistic

bodhidharma may have been executed, that would be typical of some sort of social mess and offending the wrong people !

the great zen masters were autistic and you  can  see  the  poor  social  skills  in  the  old  stories  !   : o )

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see  the  poor  social  skills  in  the  old  stories  !   : o )

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills  in  the  old  stories  !   : o )

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories  !   : o )

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories  !  : o )

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories  !  :o)

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories ! :o)

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories !

the great zen masters were autistic and you can see the poor social skills in the old stories

it's difficult to say what the future holds  !

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it's difficult to say what the future holds !

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)

it's difficult to say what the future holds !

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it's difficult to say what the future holds  !

. .


o


(

it's difficult to say what the future holds !

. .


o


(

it's difficult to say what the future holds  !

: o ( )

it's difficult to say what the future holds !

: o ( )

it's difficult to say what the future holds  !

: o ) (

it's difficult to say what the future holds !

: o ) (

it's difficult to say what the future holds  !

it's difficult to say what the future holds !

it's difficult to say what the future holds

i wonder how many women wonder if they married the right man   50%  ?

i wonder how many women wonder if they married the right man   50% ?

i wonder how many women wonder if they married the right man

“ but in early spring  ,     the world’s inverted  ,   with an ephemeral fury of flowers high overhead :  blooms against blue ”

i don't know  where am i going ?  i give up  !

v3m2

i don't know  where am i going ?  i give up  !

v3m1

i don't know  where am i going ? i give up

v2

i don't know  where am i going    i give up

v1p3

i don't know   where am i going   i give up

v1p2

i don't know   where am i going  i give up

v1p1

i don't know  where am i going  i give up

v1

jason  dafonte  w r i t e s

I've remembered two visions I had as a kid.

my mother was a house-cleaner, and when I was young I would usually accompany her rather than going to a daycare I guess.  I'd usually spend my time watching or aimlessly wandering around the strangers house.  I was sitting in front of /watching the TV and then I envisioned this forest with a very loud stream.  Very, very loud.  I don't think I spent much time in forests as a kid

another I was driving down the main road by my home and I saw this tiny park, it really doesn't fit in the area, with a donkey in a 10ft hole, maybe braying or something.  when ever I'd pass the pro I'd wonder where the hole was or the donkey lol

a reddit post

when i was in 6th grade i had a crush on a girl named annie in my class

I would never had the guts to tell her because I was way too shy and she was dating an  18  year old guy

when their parents of both families found out, they obviously freaked out

they got the police and school with their psychologist involved

they prevented them from seeing each other every way they could, but it was a cat and mouse game

on the last day of school annie gave me a phone number and asked me to call her to stay in touch, she knew I was moving out of town

but about two weeks after I moved to a new city I got a call from a classmate . .   annie and her boyfriend just committed suicide

I never really knew the whole story

the only thing I know is that she was found dead with a shotgun wound to the head under her bed mattress with her boyfriend beside the bed

the police concluded to a suicide pact

not to be alarmist . .  but tread carefully

note :  please don't mind my english . .   (ed.  edited, the writer is french speaking and lives in quebec!)

‘ iPad drawing No 2 ’   is better   than the oil on canvas  ‘ winter tunnel with snow ’

years ago i was staying at the wangapeka center in the south island of new zealand   ( if you climbed up along the ridge behind the center you could see the snow capped / snowy mt. patriarch ! :o) ,  the center is sorta tibetan ,  founded by the sphere group and namgyal rinpoche    ̲    ̲    ̲    ̲

one evening one of the founding members of that center turned up with a young woman who was not his wife   ̲    ̲   !

they went up to one of the huts further up the hill/ridge

then his wife turned up !

i was outside at the time  ( it was night or late dusk)  and she asked me where they were and i think i replied, oh in such and such a hut up on the hill    ̲    ̲     ̲

i was full of preachiness and judgmentalness, just as well i kept my mouth shut and didn't say more  !

 a frieze showing the nativity - on the basilica of the sagrada familia - antoni gaudi

this is why christianity doesn't make sense, just cows breeding !

an explanation of   root notes   by aaron tomberlin

the  low default settings  of the minimium processor frequency  (in power options !)  expose you to a much greater window of ssd or even hard disk corruption during a brown or black out !

i reset my pentium g3450 to 100% on my desktop pc and the ssd is noticably snappier, as well as general performance !

mouse works better too ! : o ) (

i also disable spread spectrum in the bios !

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answers are in  r e a s o n   !   : o (

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in  r e a s o n   !   : o (

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in  r e a s o n  !  : o (

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in  r e a s o n  !  :o(

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in r e a s o n  ! :o(

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in r e a s o n ! :o(

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in reason ! :o(

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in reason !

reddit zen, blind idiots, they think the answer is in reason

a young girl twirling her brother around in the handcart area of the ulverstone coles, they both seemed genuinely h a p p y  . .

s

o

r

a

r

e

!

:

o

)

(

a young girl twirling her brother around in the handcart area of the ulverstone coles, they both seemed genuinely h a p p y  . .

s

o

r

a

r

e

!

:

o

)

(

a young girl twirling her brother around in the handcart area of the ulverstone coles, they both seemed genuinely h a p p y  . .

s

o

r

a

r

e

!

:

o

)

(

damn, an almost a full moon, super large just coming over the horizon through a break/the misty rain, something special, i stopped on a hill but thinking i might get a better view along the top drove on . .

i didn't ,  | .  the gums thwarted the view !

:

o

(

damn, a nudge before a full moon, super large just coming over the horizon through a break/the misty rain, something special, i stopped on a hill but thinking i might get a better view along the top drove on . .

i didn't ,  | .  the gums thwarted the view !

:

o

(

damn, a bit past a full moon, super large just coming over the horizon through a break/the misty rain, something special, i stopped on a hill but thinking i might get a better view along the top drove on . .

i didn't ,  | .  the gums thwarted the view !

:

o

(

damn, a bit past a full moon/ bit coming too a full moon, super large just coming over the horizon through a break/the misty rain, something special, i stopped on a hill but thinking i might get a better view along the top drove on . .

i didn't ,  | .  the gums thwarted the view !

:

o

(

i think to see everything at once would drive you insane  !

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i think to see everything at once would drive you insane  !

. .


o


(

i think to see everything at once would drive you insane   !  :  o  (

i think to see everything at once would drive you insane  !

i think to see everything at once would drive you insane

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently !  ?   .  .  .  ( . . ? )

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently  !   ?   .  .  .  (

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently !  ?  .  .  .  (

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently  !   ?   .  .  .  )

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently !  ?  .  .  .  )

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently !  ?

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently !

yes, i'm mad, you're not apparently

medications when combined create a completely different and more dangerously toxic side effect space that is really unknown territory, they are best minimised !

does it make you feel better to be wasting my time as well as your own ?  !  ..  . (

does it make you feel better to waste my time as well as your own ?  !  ..  . (

does it make you feel better to be wasting my time as well as your own ?  !

does it make you feel better to waste my time as well as your own ?  !

does it make you feel better to be wasting my time as well as your own ?

does it make you feel better to waste my time as well as your own ?

does it make you feel better to be wasting my time as well as your own

does it make you feel better to waste my time as well as your own

the solar system and this planet are extraordinarily rare  oddities  unusually suited for life

i understand what you are saying, it's very disorienting   to be so completely immersed   in such a foreign culture in one’s later years !
















wow,  some very significant research   ! 

diabetes is a vicious circle  of high blood sugar  damaging  mitochondria which then operate inefficiently making more free radicals and the liver responds by inducting a process to neutralize those free radicals, but this process also further raises the blood sugar !

this highlights how important anti-oxidants, especially vitamin E are in ameliorating the effects of diabetes and high blood sugar via the antioxidant quenching of free radicals !

you can't blame some-one for being the way they are

you

can

have

less

to

do

with

them

t

r

u

e

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

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o


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(

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

. .


o


)


(

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

. .


o


(


)

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

:  o   (  . . .  )

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

:  o  (  . . .  )

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

: o  (  . . .  )

how does reality work ,  not how we think it works !

: o (  . . .  )

how does reality work, not how we think it works !

: o )(

how does reality work, not how we think it works !

how does reality work, not how we think it works

the  sacroiliac  joints

paul powis shows  how to fillet  freshwater fish  !

“ glutamate acts like an accelerator of neuronal activity, while zinc behaves  like a brake  that fine tunes that signal

the receptors that zinc influences are thought to play a role in neurodegenerative diseases ”

i was looking at the history of the  yamato ,  it's just so typically a reflection of the problems of a very vertical/hierarchical society, just a lot of bad decisions beginning to end made by ailing brained idiots, i don't know how  admiral yamamoto  got a reputation for competence, a blundering idiot is the reality !

germany lost the war before they started by the extermination of the most productive portion of their middle class, the jews, and the japanese by the extreme incompetence of its military leadership . .  !

their invasion of china made it obvious they did not know how to run a conquered country in a way productive to their own interests !

fukushima is another example of a senile head controlling a robust body, way more serious than hiroshima for the genetic damage to its population !

a  reddit  /medical  question

insane deja vu  -  i remember, then un-remember things, getting dizzy in the process

hi, I'm  23  and I've had this for a couple years  -  let's say before the end of puberty.  I don't know if this is a psychological or physical issue, but hey, I can't afford any further investigation anyway.  do tell me if this would be better off in any particular psychology-related sub

I'm kinda worried the complaint is too vague, it bothers me also when I try and find people online with the same issue.  so this is going to be as long as possible, just to make sure I don't forget any factors

I have insane deja vu.  I have  ‘ blackouts ’  -  i think that is what they are, and they are triggered by memory. or something that feels a whole lot like memory. A situation sketch: I will walk outside, pass a tree that blossoms, the smell triggers a memory and I am reminded of something in the past.  as soon as the memory starts  ‘ loading ’  I find myself getting dizzy, combined with a feeling of fear. the fear seems to be connected to the memory I can't reach.  the sensation of almost-but-not-quite reaching the memory is very strong, it's a very tip-of-the-tongue feeling.  ( Of course the juicy speculation that has formed with me is that there is a memory I'm scared of, but to be rational, the occurrence of getting dizzy and knowing I'm getting dizzy suddenly is of course kind of scary anyway )

the most confusing part about the whole thing is this :   as soon as I recover from the dizziness  -  usually a few seconds  -  I have forgotten what triggered it.  not only can I not reach the memory that was getting triggered  -  I gave up on that now  -  but I often can't even remember the trigger, so in this case, the blossoming tree.  I just know something triggered it and I went dizzy.  ( when I say trigger I don't mean it gets triggered by typical PTSD triggers.  just... anything I hear, see or smell )

The dizziness is very strong and usually prompts me to sit down.  I also get the impression that I go pale

It happens with smells  ( mostly the smell of the air, reminding of a specific time of the year ) ,  song lyrics, sometimes a phrase someone uses, passing a particular street or view.  I have the feeling that if I could remember all those triggers, and put them together, I would know what was going on.  on the other hand since I don't remember the triggers, they could also not correspond at all

what makes it harder to make sense of this is that I have smoked a lot of weed for many years, so my memory is shot anyway. when I talk about this to friends, they assume it must be the smoking.  I also for a long time thought it was a reaction to LSD/drug use, but now no longer think that and besides, I'm almost certain this started before drug use.  I think it's an important factor to mention, but I don't think smoking weed is the cause  -  or at least other possibilities should for sure be considered.  I asked around a lot, and checked what the complaints were of other long-time stoners, but none of them had this.  What is true is that when I am not stoned and at full brain capacity, the deja vu thing is more likely to happen

I shouldn't let my friends do the diagnosing anyway because it seems the dominant theory is that I got molested or something and this is a manifestation of PTSD.  I will consider the option because I have an extremely strong emotional reaction to rape, even mention of the subject.  but that's really not uncommon and I don't see any reason why i would keep this from myself.  nothing in my past indicates any experience like that, so I think the chances are not that big.  sometimes, but rarely, I have a normal deja vu.  it's not the same thing

the reason this text is so long is because I have little idea of what the medical effects of this are, but the experience to me is largely based on emotional sensation and so I added allll this context to see if it might be in there

I don't have access to any medical facilities right now, so the internet is the way to go I suppose.  will yield the most glamorous results anyway, So, am I deeply traumatized, a drug abuse victim, or developing a brain tumour ?  what can I do ?

TLDR; I have some sort of deja vu's that turn me dizzy and alarmed for a few seconds. when i come back, i have forgotten what triggered it.  i now spend my days wondering if I'm actually a spy, artificially keeping government secrets from myself

my

r e p l y

shades of temporal lobe epilepsy and a possible neurological degenerative condition like hippocampal sclerosis ?

a krill oil supplement will help brain plasticity . .

the reality of medical categories is nothing fits exactly, i'm just making those suggestions as a sort of direction, it really does sound like a form of epilepsy, the question is whether it is getting worse which might imply a neurodegenerative condition !

one could wait here   f o r e v e r   ! : 0 )

an interesting    dance interpretation   of bolero  !

a quote from charles bukowski's short story   his wife the painter

‘ about church  :   the trouble with a mask is it never changes ’

the short story link is embedded in a useful  timeline  !

jonathon   writes

last week I went to the hometown of my father for the funeral of his brother.  didn't really hangout with the fam, just hung out with the brother  ( half-brother, but that doesn't mean shit to me tbh he's a brother regardless )

and when we left I felt sadder than when the funeral occurred.  just watching the sky passing by and thinking thoughts.  just..  FUCK MAN ,  you know ?   I don't know... sorry.  there's no point I'm trying to make.  I was just thinking what the hell man trying to find some answer but I don't think it will ever come whatever I'm looking for..

----------------------

is there anything to fucking get or obtain

I try to distance myself from being a fuck boy but all I do is nothing but observe the passing clouds from my window and see the trees blowing with the wind

nothing much going on here just this

my

r e p l y

yeah, i don't know why people find it so difficult but they do . . ! :o)

----------------------

you know if I  (ed.  jonathon ! )  question hardcore people look at me like what the fuck don't look at me

some kind of brain processing going on and they pick up ?  like if I hit the zone this shit always happens, someone gotta notice.  I don't know dude
















enlightenment is, if you are honest about what you don't understand and move towards establishing a base that a question can be asked from and be answered to solve that problem, then you will be enlightened . .

it always amazes me the fundamental dishonesty of those who pretend to seek such a thing or have the answers already, they can never get past their not admitting they don't understand ! :o(

enlightenment is, if you are honest about what you don't understand and move towards establishing a base that a question can be asked and be answered to solve that problem, then you will be enlightened . .

it always amazes me the fundamental dishonesty of those who pretend to seek such a thing or have the answers already, they can never get past their not admitting they don't understand ! :o(

you just work by doing  “ right reading ”  and getting solitary processing time . .

the rest takes care of itself !  . .

everything new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind  !

everything new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

everything new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind

everything new that you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

. .


o


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everything new that you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

. .


o


)


(

everything new that you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

everything new that you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind

everything new that you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

everything that's new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

everything that's new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind

everything that's new you take on board that's wrong can take twenty years to unwind !

everything that's new that's wrong that you take on board can take twenty years to unwind !

: o ( .  ! . p

everything that's new that's wrong that you take on board can take twenty years to unwind !

: o (

everything that's new that's wrong that you take on board can take twenty years to unwind !

: o )

everything that's new that's wrong that you take on board can take twenty years to unwind !

everything that's new that's wrong that you take on board can take twenty years to unwind

gut fat  (pot belly !)  is associated with  microstructural brain tissue damage ,  but fat under the skin is  N O T  !

the below heraclitus quote

“ the sun is the breadth of a man's foot ”

is roughly equivalent to the mumonkan case 7

a monk said to joshu ,  I have just entered this monastery

please teach me

have you eaten your rice porridge ? ,  asked joshu

yes, I have ,  replied the monk

then you had better wash your bowl ,  said joshu

with this the monk gained insight

copper, vitamin K and manganese are a very effective supplement cluster  (as per the compendium!)  for depression

however increased dopamine is anti - thyroidal so you do need to supplement for increased thyroid function as well ,  i.e. iodine and so on and so on .. .  ! :o)

a  good  heraclitus    page   !

a good heraclitus   page  !

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

this

is

the synchronicity of the human

c

o

n

d

i

t

i

o

n

!

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

this

is

the synchronicity of the human

c

o

n

d

i

t

i

o

n

!

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

this

is

the synchronicity of the human

c

o

n

d

i

t

i

o

n

!

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

this

is

the synchronicity of the human

c

o

n

d

i

t

i

o

n

!

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

this

is

the synchronicity of the human

c

o

n

d

i

t

i

o

n

!

i'm always crying

my

life

is

just

one

rain

of

tears

ceylan ozalp ,  nineteen ,  dead amonth later, shot herself  when surrounded by the ISIS and ran out of ammunition  ! : o(

her talking in the video  [ 0:50 ]

having been unconcious from a car crash ,  ( i was the driver and at fault, travelling at high speed, went off the road and rolled the car ! )  this  video  is frightening !

i went through the windscreen i think as i had glass in my hair, didn't wear a seat belt which may have been an advantage as i may have kept moving limiting the deceleration so well portrayed in that video !

fortuantely the other passengers weren't knocked unconcious, one had a minor injury !

this was when i was a teenager and still at school, i didn't drink even then, but had been to a dance and drunk the punch which i think must have been spiked and i didn't recognize the signs at all . . .

unconciously i must have known i wasn't in a fit state to drive because i insisted the other passengers wear their seatbelts, but paradoxically i didn't wear mine !

i am not sure how much later, months years ?  i was at a family friends before going to another dance  (yes this early seventies stuff ! : o)  and had a cocktail, which again i was totally unused to and drove at a dangerous speed down a very steep sided gravel road with several young women in the car, fortunately one had the sense to ask me to slow down, i really was in a delayed reaction space, that was another close call which i think contributed to a lifetime of alcohol avoidance, tho i now add red wine to cooking !

even about four months ago, i was involved in a potentially dangerous manoeuvre going into the local store/petrol station/servo and i think i was affected by the  ¾  of a glass of red wine in my meal i had an hour ?  before

a good video/film  on american football and concussion, it's really a gladiator's sport, instead of running the risk of losing and effectively being executed, the brain damage and loss of functional self occurs almost imperceptibly over a lifetime ! : o(

a disappointed life, defeated, i shuffle off at last !

. .


o


(


)

a disappointed life  —  defeated  —  i shuffle off at last !

. .


o


(

a disappointed life  defeated  i shuffle off at last !

. .


o


(

a disappointed life, defeated, i shuffle off at last !

. .


o


(

a disappointed life, defeated, i shuffle off at last !

a disappointed life, defeated, i shuffle off at last

you're as fucked up as me,  it would have been be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up,  but as it was it was fucked up times 2 !

. .


o


(

you're as fucked up as me, it would have been be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up, but as it was it was fucked up times 2 !

. .


o


(


)
















you're as fucked up as me  it would have been be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up  but as it was it was fucked up times 2 !

. .


o


(

you're as fucked up as me  it would have been be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up  but as it was it was fucked up times 2 !
















you're as fucked up as me  it would have been be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up  but as it was it was fucked up times 2

audio

you're as fucked up as me  it would be nice if one of us wasn't so fucked up  but as it was it was fucked up times 2 !

 'Amputees pictured at the Royal Victoria Hospital at Netley during World War One

history always varnishes over this aspect  . . !

i personally do better in dry warm climates, i have very inefficient mitochrondria i guess ! ?

the whole point of  ‘ shakespeare's ’  plays is they are so rich in period material, that the only way you can have had that sort of grasp of that material is to have lived it and in fact sir henry neville by that criteria alone is one of the only men able to write those plays !

what is the width/thickness of  2  dimensional space  ?

“ the  ‘ holographic principle ’  asserts that a mathematical description of the universe actually requires one fewer dimension than it seems

what we perceive as three dimensional may just be the image of two dimensional processes on a huge cosmic horizon ”

they are saying quantum gravity is a hologram of quantum field theory which is a truely remarkable state of affairs ! .  ! . ! : o ) (

if you want to understand antennas   [  I    II  ]

zoe winters versus kitty thomas

they are in fact the same author, what is fascinating is how much better she writes as kitty thomas, you can feel it in the  videos  how more direct and  “ pulling you in ” it is

yet she spends a lot of her time writing  rubbish  as zoe winters that she seems to value more . .

lol, more strange than her books ! ... !

there's nothing stranger than getting older  !

. .


o


)


(

there's nothing stranger than getting older  !

. .


o


(


)

there's nothing stranger than getting older  !

: o ) (

there's nothing stranger than getting older

: o ) (

there's nothing stranger than getting older  !

there's nothing stranger than getting older !

there's nothing stranger than getting older

hunting humans is called war !

sepehr g.  a d v i s e s

as long as you don't kill dolphins, elephants, greater apes, and whales, then it's fine.  they are equivalent to humans in terms of metacognition, metarepresentation, and sapience.  basically, they have rich mental inner lives just as much as us.  i do not condemn those who hunt other animals besides those i've listed.  the evidence is too high for their intelligence.  they existentially suffer just as much, if not more, than us.

i only hunt for food or to cull

humans have killed each other and been glorified for it, it's called  “ war ”

humans have killed each other and been glorified for it, it's called  “ war ”

jason dafonte  r e p l i e s    to

i remember once driving through the hills in portugal with one of my cousins, she was playing a classical station and i was just listening.  i ended up closed my eyes and thinking of the dog i had lost and i just started to cry endlessly.  for a long time i could cry just thinking of her

 'emmental', swiss landscape, photograph by robin halioua

robin  halioua    flickr
















jason  dafonte  a s k s

If, according to you, zen only makes sense within the context of celibacy, then can you explain charles bukowski ?

my

r e p l y

jason, why not explore that question a bit yourself before asking ?

jason  r e p l i e s

He mentions not being with a woman for four years around when he was  50.  He was a virgin until he was  24

You said celibacy didn't mean not having sex, but not having relationship

I'm going to think about this more

Of course there might be other times he just hasn't mentioned

I fucking hate suburbia by the way.  I despise it.  You haven't written much about your living in suburbia, not that I've read any way

I'm pretty much banking on learning programming.  I need to if I want to get out of here for good.  I can always have some shit no experience needed job, but why put myself through that ?

Have you heard of programming work done solely through home ?  Companies involved with that ?

I'm going to make my own blog soon, maybe this week.

You told me I'll never be enlightened.  You said something similar ,  sort of ,  to zakaj.  Do you mean it ?

I speak too soon, as usual.  Am reading  “ South of No North ” and he says  “ I went for years with no/ without women, I lived on peanut butter and stale bread and boiled potatoes ”

my

reply

so you are looking at autobiographical information about charles bukowski and perhaps starting to address the question of what is the relation of celibacy to infinity ?

and actually what is celibacy ?

when i think about celibacy, i look at what it's not which at an extreme is a sexual suburban life,   “ married with kids ”  so celibacy is really opposite to that !

that sort of broadens it and you can start to see where people like charles bukowski and even   giacomo casanova    fit !

sexually and breeding fitness dysfunctional lives

what i notice about celibacy is the extra energy it gives to sort things out which the relationship and married paradigm just does not have and as a consequence those who try to ride both the horses of the conventional suburban paradigm and their pretend infinities like suburban zen just drift in b u l l s h i t !  . .

i have actually done programming myself, easy enough to learn these days off the web, a good entry point is to get involved with helping the development of free software which is all volunteer of course, but you can show this work to a potential employer or client to demonstrate your skill level . .

so basically if you are interested in doing programming ,  find a free software area you are interested in and work on developing the skills to be useful to it . .

it's really what interests you, look to where your abilites are, doesn't have to be programming at all . .

lol, the only thing i am good at is zen and sometimes w r i t i n g !  . . . : o)(

what are you really really good at without trying ?

i think the point about enlightenment is it's not some magic answer, it's a huge amount of ongoing work and just plain crying grief, better to be of more limited vision !

jennifer hudson has   a classic voice

and

a  tragedy   ! 

:


o


(

zakaj, you are in some fantasy land of s l e a z y  s t u p i d i t y !

:  o  (  )   ̱    ̱   !   ̱     ̱  !   ̱    ̱  .  ! .

zakaj, you are in some fantasy land of s l e a z y  s t u p i d i t y !

zakaj, you are in some fantasy land of sleazy stupidity !

zakaj, you are in some fantasy land of sleazy stupidity

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of retarded clichés to another  ! : 0 ( )

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of retarded clichés to another !  : o ( )

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of retarded clichés to another  !

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of retarded clichés to another !

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of retarded clichés to another

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of clichés to another  ! : 0 ( )

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of clichés to another !  : o ( )

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of clichés to another  !

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of clichés to another !

zakaj, you only run from one bunch of clichés to another

i think you can sit down and cry and cry that the world will not support financially the sort of activity you want to do !

it only likes f a k e s ,   illusions, pathetic retarded nonsense that  the monkeys whoop/hoop up only half understanding why   ̱    .   ̱   .

the worse it is, the more money it makes, i wouldn't say it is crazy but it is the grief of rembrandt, van gogh and william blake going right back to sappho and heraclitus   ̱   ̱   ̱   .

the world is breeding mad and in its craving for relief from the need to continue falls in/into the gap of  s h a l l o w   e n t e r t a i n m e n t  !

it's a stupid world and why am i so mismatched to it ?

a different sort of stupidity/intelligence i guess ?

it's a stupid world and why am i so mismatched to it ?
















it's odd, i was thinking out of nowhere   of my favourite kitten ,   all time favourite ( white longish coat ! ) which is buried out by the path ,  how i had never grieved for it ,  tonight i am grieving !

it's odd, i was thinking out of nowhere   of my favourite kitten ,  how i had never grieved for it ,  tonight i am grieving !

it's odd, i was thinking out of nowhere of my favourite kitten ,  how i had never grieved for it ,  tonight i am grieving !

when we do something, it confers a blindness to other priorities in our lives, not that we don't see it, but we disbelieve in their importance !

when we do something, it confers a sort of blindness to other priorities in our lives, not that we don't see it, but we disbelieve in their importance !

when we do something, it confers a sort of a blindness to other priorities in our lives, not that we don't see it, but we disbelieve in their importance !

switzerland is an important part    of understanding    u.g. krishnamurti  !

vitznau  ?

the above photo is by tim  blessed

transcript  of a 1968 u.g. krishnamurti and david bohm discussion in saanen

“ from quite a young age I had this question about religious people and religious experiences.  what is there behind or beneath these religious beliefs and practices ?  and most of the guys I met were frauds, in the sense they didn’t have this real thing in them.  you see, I myself went through all kinds of experiences  —  all within the field of thought.  these religious people and mystics didn't have the real touch of the  ‘ source ’  or the  ‘ origin ’  —  except perhaps ramana maharshi and krishnamurti ”

a good blog    post   and comments by  jonathon med  thomas

krishnan guru-murthy  explodes   [ 5 : 40 ]   the whole movie making bullshit !

good on you krishnan

far from being an iron man ,  robert  downey  jr.  had to be babysat by a publicist  !

mr. saccharine man, couldn't handle krishnan when it came to the crunch !  : o)(

it's all about fantasy /sies and not interrupting them  !

krishnan guru-murthy  explodes   [ 5 : 40 ]   the whole movie making bullshit !

good on you krishnan

far from being an iron man ,  robert  downey  jr.  had to be babysat by a publicist  !

mr. saccharine man, couldn't handle krishnan when it came to the crunch !  : o)(

health tips   !

polyphenols  block  VEGF !

“ the polyphenols also activated another enzyme signalling system that generates nitric oxide in the blood, which helps widen the blood vessels and prevent damage this was unexpected, as  VEGF  itself stimulates nitric oxide, and anti-cancer drugs that block VEGF also reduce nitric oxide, leading to an increased risk of hypertension in some users ”

“ drivers  who are not properly hydrated  make the same number of errors as people who are over the drink drive limit ”

we need to see faces the right way up to tap into  “ the neural processing network ”  for faces !

“ when faces  were shown upright ,  the brain area responsible for object recognition was suppressed by the area responsible for face recognition

in contrast, when faces were inverted, the object recognition area was not suppressed by the face recognition area and the brain is in a state of  ‘ being clearly not sure if it is a face or an object ’

exercise  increases oxidative stress  and uses up anti-oxidants, not necessarily a bad thing as this may help immune function by increasing free radical signalling !

“ magnetic hyperthermia after intratumoral nanoparticle injection results in   dramatically reduced tumor volume ,  although the applied temperature dosages  ( cumulative equivalent minutes at 43°C )  are only between 1 and 24 min

histological analysis of magnetic hyperthermia treated tumor tissue exhibit alterations in cell viability  (apoptosis and necrosis)  and show a decreased cell proliferation ”

“ colour as a signal  for entraining  the mammalian circadian  clock  ”

zakaj, i'm not taking on your mistakes as well as my own, you are a user !

you are just using me for entertainment !

. .


o


(

zakaj, i'm not taking on your mistakes as well as my own, you are a user !

you are just using me for entertainment !

: o ) (

zakaj, i'm not taking on your mistakes as well as my own, you are a user !

you are just using me for entertainment !

zakaj, i'm not taking your mistakes on as well as my own, you are a user !

you are just using me for entertainment !

zakaj, i'm not taking your mistakes on as well as my own, you are a user !

just using me for entertainment !

zakaj, i'm not taking your mistakes on as well as my own, you are a user !

zakaj, i'm not taking your mistakes on as well as my own

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself or your kittens !

: o (  )

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself or your kittens !

: o (

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself or your kittens !

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself or your kittens

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself !

you're like a cat, no concern for anything except yourself

it's interesting  how much the tongue moves  and how fully the mouth it occupies !

hmm, alzheimers is sometimes called type three diabetes  and this study  shows that alzheimers is in effect an autoimmune condition whereby the excitation catabolizes excessive amounts of arginine in the brain !

the root issue is the autoimmunity, just another way it's malevolent tentacles spread its way through degrading our body and brain and one can see the connection to diabetes !

interestingly this anti — inflammatory catabolism of arginine is an antiviral response to the shingles/chickenpox and herpes viruses amongst others . .

the problem comes when the response continues unabated . .

this may relate to the possibility that alzheimers is contagious by having an underlying viral cause as a factor !  .  ! ..

honestly you try to tell people about these problems and how diet, supplements, circadian rhythm etc affect them and it's just like turning a wall switch off ! :o(

reality   is very uneven   !

 : 0  (  )

reality   is very uneven   !

 : 0 )  (

reality is very uneven  !

 : 0 )  (

reality is very uneven  !

reality is very uneven !

reality is very uneven

at some point   explanations fail   !

at some point explanations fail  !

at some point explanations fail  !

borderline personality d i s o r d e r  :   at some point explanations fail  !

borderline personality d i s o r d e r  :  at some point explanations fail  !

at some point explanations fail !

at some point explanations fail !

at some point explanations fail

a good description of the gallipoli landing, bit  depressing  reading tho !

another good  page 

the interesting thing is the landing itself wasn't so bad, actually quite successful, dispossessing two turkish trenches and making it to the top !

it was the reinforcements that the turks brought from the other side of the peninsula that were the problem !
















why  repetitive  exercises and stretches for the  ‘ aging ’  are not good idea !

basically as we get older the interfascicular matrices which surround and provide sliding surfaces for the tendons stiffen and become more susceptible to repetitive stress !

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of un-irreconcilables and un-irresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of irreconcilables and un-irresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of irreconcilables and unirresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of unreconcilables and unresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of un-reconcilables and un-resolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of un-reconcilables and irresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of unreconcilables and irresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of irreconcilables and irresolveables ?

i wonder if you can think of life as a collection of irreconcilables and irresolveables ?

wikipedia  has a good page on the  original  discoverer of evolution ,  patrick matthew !

newton, einstein and watson and crick  ( rosalind franklin the real discoverer of DNA ! )  also have issues in this respect . .

that's the problem with intellectual property, freely disseminable !  .  !  .  .  : o)

i think an understanding of evolution must have occurred perennially through human history given how much breeding of livestock humans did  !  may not even be restricted to homo sapiens ! :o)

schopenhauer also   had a toe   in the water ,  tho i am not sure how aware of matthew's book he was ! ?

since evolution is so contrary to religious theologies, i think the public dissemination of the theory must mark the point of loss of temporal command by religion !

a good   quote    from schopenhauer's  ‘ studies in pessimism :  the essays ’

“ every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world ”

zakaj, you have a basic issue with not going into detail and making things correct enough, this  “ cognitive style problem ”  i think is beyond remedy . .

sepehr g.  a s k s

how do you have it in you to kill   wallabies ,  andrew ?

I could never do that and would rather die.

my   r e p l y

what exactly is your issue with hunting?

the world is somehow better for having wallabies unkilled ?

the whole human murderous travail is w h a t ?

what i feel is not an adequate translation of a poem of  rābiʿah al-baṣrī

I am fully qualified to work as a doorkeeper, and for this reason :

what is inside me, i don't let out;

what is outside me, i don't let in.

if someone comes in, he goes right out again  —

he has nothing to do with me at all.

i am a doorkeeper of the heart, not a lump of wet clay.

my reply and or comment

i'm a poor sort of doorkeeper

but

on

balance

i pass

muster

what i am

is

a

turning circle

what i aren't can productively

modify that

who

or

w

h

a

t

judges  p r o d u c t i v i t y ?

OR

i'm a poor sort of doorkeeper

but

on

balance

i pass

muster

what i am

is

a

turning circle

what i aren't can productively

modify that

zen doesn't really make any sense unless in the celibate context  !

that's where the great masters come from, there's only one or two exceptions in the whole history of zen, like ikkyū who on closer inspection was likely celibate until about 30  !

if you think layman pang  (the story of!)  is one of those exceptions, then read more closely, it's like a book of job with a bad ending ! :o)

zakaj, you will never become enlightened, i think you have had a few hints of what is involved and you didn't like it so will spent the rest of your life looking for answers in the wrong places as preferable to actually doing any real work and not proxying onto this idiot or that !

i wonder if most people who get involved are like that ! :o )(

it makes sense its an active process of avoidance and not passive or ignorant, what i say is not difficult, but you and others don't even take a first step !

well reading and thinking about charles bukowski is a strong step in the right direction, too bad you take another step in the wrong direction with mahamudra and reginald  ray ! . . !

mistakes are not wrong in themselves, the thing is to learn from them !

( and hope you live long enough to benefit /resolve the matter and not simply been better to have been doing something else and not come into contact with that unstable flaw in yourself ! )

reggie ray has something to him like brad warner, but basically they both miss the boat and you  (ed.  zakaj!)  who chase after missed boats . .

the poem with variants below this one are a reply to what is pretty much hashem shaabani's death poem/ words

seven reasons why i should die

by hashem shaabani

for seven days they shouted at me :

you are waging war on allah !

saturday, because you are an arab !

sunday, well, you are from ahvaz !

monday, remember you are iranian !

tuesday, you mock the sacred revolution !

wednesday, didn’t you raise your voice for others ?

thursday, you're a poet and a bard !

friday :  you’re a man, isn’t that reason enough to die ?

it's not easy writing poetry

you praise the iranians

the ahvazis hate you

you praise the ahvazis,

the iranians hate you

i'm just after a quiet life

what does it matter ?

why

can't

we

all

live

in

peace

humans seem fatally attracted to b o u n d a r i es !

: o ) (

it's not easy writing  poetry 

you praise the iranians

the ahvazis hate you

you praise the ahvazis,

the iranians hate you

i'm just after a quiet life

why

can't

we

all

live

in

peace

humans seem fatally attracted to b o u n d a r i es !

: o ) (

it's not easy writing poetry

you praise the iranians

the ahvazis hate you

you praise the ahvazis,

the iranians hate you

i'm just after a quiet life

why

can't

we

all

live

in

peace

humans seem fatally attracted to b o u n d a r i es !

: o ) (

it's not easy writing poetry

you praise the iranians

the ahvazis hate you

you praise the ahvazis,

the iranians hate you

i'm just after a quiet life

what does it matter ?

humans seem fatally attracted to b o u n d a r i es !

: o ) (

my rely to zakaj who is now on a  “ mahamudra ”  bender . .  !

yeah  ‘ stripping the guru ’  is as you say is an attempt to restore some normalcy in a mad house, a contradiction in terms and actually he misses out on any of the real insights of some of those he denigrates !

i don't know that trungpa was enlightened, he had some insight and with solitude he would have had more, but his life was fucked up for sure, now that he was good at ! :o)

you are trying to travel to mars on foot . .

always will be that way i guess, next fashion ? : o()

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous   f o o l s   !

. .


o


(

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous  f o o l s

. .


o


(

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous f o o l s

. .


o


(

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous   f o o l s   !

. .


o


)

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous  f o o l s

. .


o


)

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous f o o l s

. .


o


)

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous   f o o l s   !

: o (

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous  f o o l s

: o (

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous f o o l s

: o (

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous   f o o l s   !

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous  f o o l s

reddit zen  :  complacent fatuous f o o l s

jon  w r i t e s

why can't we get all this stuff  (ed.  the BCD and compendium)  from diet ?

Like eating wild game with all the organs/offal/whatever ?  Using the bones to make broths and stuff . . .  The marrows of the animals.

I remember they used to eat the marrows further up north when I was a kid . . . . and a few of my relatives used to eat the kidneys and stuff from fresh kills . . .  well some still do, it was mainly the old folks who did this and they're all slowly dying.  My extended family.

Like my grandfather and all his brothers and sisters, his parents.  I remember my great-grandmother. 

She lived to be in her late nineties.  I can't remember anything she said because she strictly spoke Cree.

I remember my grandma though.  One time I was with her when she was filleting some fish, I saw a dark piece of organ, I'm not sure what it was.  I offered to throw it away and she laughed and said it was the best part.

I got embarrassed and didn't ask any questions after that.  I don't really remember much about it, I was young like maybe 3-4.  She passed away when I was 5, she was 54 I believe.  My great grandmother passed away around 5 years after that.

Most of the people around here are slowly losing that kind of diet and nutrition. There are hardly any hunters now. There's a few still yet still and they share meat sometimes but I'm interested in more than just that !   Like the organs and thyroids maybe!

One other thing is that we tend to use a lot of flour and sugar and shit and make stuff like  bannock

I remember growing up and not really holding much interest in this native indigenous indian whatever you want to call it culture.

The self-sustaining skills.

I wanted to escape from the bush and live in the cities . . . .  My culture seemed archaic.  But such a powerful thing it is . . .  the skills it gives you . . .

my

r e p l y

jon, last night i went out and shot some wallaby which are in plague proportions up here  . .

i use solid copper bullets so there's no lead in the carcass . .

got to bed at 3am after gutting them, i honestly think i am the only person since the authentic aborigine culture died out a hundred and fifty years ago to cut out the brain and thyroids and collect the pancreas, kidneys and kidney fat, prostate and testicles, all lost knowledge . .  !

they sell wallaby meat in the supermarket, but it is incredibly tough and the least nutritious part of the animal, but people these days can't even bear to look at offal  . .  !

actually you have to be careful hunting, i accidently left the safety catch off and tripped falling forward and the gun muzzle ploughed into the earth while i unintentionally pulled the trigger, dirt exploded everywhere, not making that mistake again d a n g e r o u s !

foods like brains put you into a different space, no prion diseases in australia and new zealand tho . .

you may not need enzymes or the full BCD, that brand (houston) are the only ones i have found that really work except for 'candex', you need to figure out if you have any degree of irritable bowel syndrome and intestinal yeast/microbiome problems

what percentage genetically are you indian ?  i know they have huge problems with their diet and metabolic syndrome/diabetes now, there's lots you can do for that !

zakaj  w r i t e s

( I don't remember if I ever told you, but I really love Berryman   [  I    II  ]    —    I suspect he is not your cup of tea though. )

my

r e p l y

yeah that's good, real, unlike chogyam trungpa and reginald ray who basically purvey a very sophisticated  “ mind control  technology ”  refined and perfected in their /its crazy way over thousands of years !

for  $0  i can tell you what reginald ray  says  of value

“ look at things through the eyes of others ”

that's it, the rest is  trouble and rubbish  !

he's not enlightened and partly screwed up but aren't they all ! :o)

----------------------

he's the usual flawed con game, get involved in tantric and there's a good likelihood /likely-hood your marriage/relationship will break up !

it just does something to loosen the bonds !

maybe that's what you are really chasing, who knows ?

for  $0  i can tell you what reginald ray  says  of value

“ look at things through the eyes of others ”

that's it, the rest is  trouble and rubbish   !

he's not enlightened and partly screwed up but aren't they all ! :o)

for  $0  i can tell you what reginald ray  says  of value

“ look at things through the eyes of others ”

that's it, the rest is   trouble and rubbish   !

he's not enlightened and partly screwed up but aren't they all ! :o)

for  $0  i can tell you what reginald ray  says  of value

“ look at things through the eyes of others ”

that's it, the rest is   trouble and rubbish   !

from  a redditor on  c-sections  in this  thread

I work as a surgical tech in a small hospital and I can say is that C-sections are BRUTAL.

They tear muscle out of the way and scar a woman's anatomy which could make her next baby dangerous to deliver vaginally  -  so she would be less at risk to have another c-section.

Sometimes we get women who have previously had a c-section in Mexico and her anatomy is messed up a bit from their last one.

As a woman, I can tell you that I would NEVER electively have a C-section unless it was medically necessary.  (My personal opinion)

Not so the doctor could make it to dinner or a golf game or whatever. We have a ridiculously high c-section rate at our little hospital so this threat hit home to me.

All I can say is educate yourself, don't just trust your doc.

TheDoctorDi  replies

I had an emergency C-section, myself.

I can't feel anything in my lower stomach area anymore. I've gotten used to it now, but it freaked me out so much during the first year.

Dirtydirtysouth305  replies

Me too. Nerves cut I guess. The skin is numb around the scar.

And sometimes when I'm coughing real hard, I swear I feel parts of my uterus pop out of place.

And my  “baby”  is 11 yo now so I'm guessing this is as good as it gets.

Name_Mangler  replies

I had an emergency c-section too. I have a hernia from it. I'm only slightly numb in that lower stomach area.

My doctor was amazing considering what a hysterical bitch I was.

I'm just so glad she didn't hold my exhaustion and fear against me.

cracks at tassajara ! o)

it's just all total bullshit this meiji zen, couples pursuing something beyond their fragmented attention, i always wondered how the system lasted being so flawed . . ! : o ) (

well when a woman gets pregnant, it forces things to revolve around her . . sounds like there been a sort of  rebellion  at tassajara . . .

sounds like at least one has got sick of the bullshit and wants something for her own life, rather than the continual trampling through excrement that the sfzc is !

there's a whole  generation  of young men doing weightlifting, body development and sports at professional levels of intensity without the compensating financial rewards for the injuries that will ruin their quality of life in later years !

there's a whole generation of young men doing weightlifting, body development and sports at professional levels of intensity without the compensating financial rewards for the injuries that will ruin their quality of life in later years !

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it  ? !

v2

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it ? !

v2

why are our lives so much grief  ?  why don't we see it ? !

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it ? !

why are our lives so much grief ? why don't we see it ? !

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it  ?

v2p3

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it ?

v2p3

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it

v2p2

why are our lives so much grief  ?  why don't we see it

why are our lives so much grief  ? why don't we see it

why are our lives so much grief ? why don't we see it

why are our lives so much grief  ?

v2p1

why are our lives so much grief ?

v2p1

why are our lives so much grief  why don't we see it

v1

why are our lives so much grief

v1p1

why do we have to live such lives of grief  !  ?

why do we have to live such lives of grief  ! ?

why do we have to live such lives of grief ! ?

why do we have to live such lives of grief !

why do we have to live such lives of grief  ?

why do we have to live such lives of grief ?

why do we have to live such lives of grief

lines   from king solomon in arthur symond's poem ,  ‘ the lover of the queen of sheba ’

o queen, I also have inquired,

and sought out wisdom patiently,

and if in all the world there be

more wisdom yet to be desired,

wisdom is weariness to me

for wisdom, being attained, but shows

that all things are but shadows cast

on running water, swiftly past,

and as the shadow of the rose

that withers in the mirror glassed.
















sepehr g. quotes from the   essay   ‘ arthur symons :  the two illusions ’   by paul elmer moreby

“ yet even these poems can never attain to any wide popularity, nor can they ever have much weight with practical intelligences that shun the evanescent world of revery where the real and the unreal meet and blend together in indistinguishable twilight ”

it reminds me of your own poems.  very few people will be able to apprehend them  . . .

my   r e p l y

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !

it's a crazy world of non definitiveness  !

it's a crazy world of non definitiveness !

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !

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it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !

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o


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)

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !

: o ) (

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !  : o ) (

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness !

it's a crazy world of nondefinitiveness

XPA

 on the 9th of april 1951, in a small rented apartment on 37 rue championnet in paris, sadegh hedayat gassed himself

a man   who wanted to leave life   and looks somewhat reposeful in death  !

the  1974    film  of   ‘ the blind owl ’  !

   translation   by  irag bashiri

you know what fits ?

vincent van gogh covering up for paul gauguin slicing off his ear and also covering up for his accidental shooting by 16 year old rene secretan in that wheat field at auvers-sur-oise !

van gogh just makes me bleed for his intelligent depression so little  rewarded  in his life !

. .


o


(

you know what fits ?

vincent van gogh covering up for paul gauguin slicing off his ear and also covering up for his accidental shooting by 16 year old rene secretan in that wheat field at auvers-sur-oise !

van gogh just makes me bleed for his intelligent depression so little  rewarded  in his life !

you know what fits ?

vincent van gogh covering up for paul gauguin slicing off his ear and also covering up for his accidental shooting by 16 year old rene secretan in that wheat field at auvers-sur-oise !

van gogh just makes me bleed for his intelligent depression so little rewarded in his life !
















jason dafonte  asks  /w r i t e s

i'm reading kusan sunim's book.  it says he was cremated and there were  53  relics found in his ashes.  can that really happen ?

my

r e p l y

the most consistent factors amongst  ‘ enlightened masters ”  are poor health, some chronic condition like migraine, cfs etc . .

a certain ultra realistic  “ cognitive style ”  which can take a while to develop, but there has to be a willingness to do the huge amount of endless work  i n v o l v ed  . .

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i would go so far as to say there is no enlightened master with  robust  /good health ,  these people are too busy b r e e d i n g  . . 

as for buddhist relics, pure fantasy or if it has any basis in physiology then it might be some sort of mineral deposit from a health condition . .

but as to the why of the relics fantasy, well his life has done real work in infinity and that need is a reflection of that. .

general franco kept the skeleton of teresa of avila's hand in a box  . .

kusan sunim's life was a failure from the transmission point of view, he never felt able to approve anyone else and hence pass it on . .

jessica  graham    writes

when I got outside the moon was so incredibly bright

It was almost like daytime

for a moment I wanted to take my clothes off and moon bathe like one of my favorite anais nin characters

as I walked towards bed, I changed my mind and took one of trail paths instead

the moon lit the path up and a warm breeze started blowing in that direction

it seemed only right to accept the invitation

as I ventured out on my own into the night, a sense of awe filled me

there was so much beauty

alone in the very bright darkness, surrounded by mountains and quiet it was impossible not to drop into the awareness of oneness

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w   h  a  a  a  !

that's about as close as i can get to crying  !  : o (

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w   h  a  a  a  !

that's about as close as i can get to crying !  : o (

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w   h  a  a  a  !

that's about as close as i can get to crying ! :o(

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a  !

that's about as close as i can get to crying ! :o(

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a  !

that's about as close as i can get to crying ! :o(

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a !

that's about as close as i can get to crying ! :o(

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a  !

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a !

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

w  h a a a !

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

the absurdity and junkiness of my life

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself and family are   ‘ good works ’  and deserving of priority !

. .


o


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the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself is a  ‘ good work ’  and deserving of priority !

. .


o


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(

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself and family are   ‘ good works ’  and deserving of priority !

. .


o


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)

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself is a  ‘ good work ’  and deserving of priority !

. .


o


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)

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself is a  ‘ good work ’  and deserving of priority !

: o )

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself is a  ‘ good work ’  and deserving of priority !

the trouble with  “ good works ”  is that one forgets oneself is a good work and deserving of priority !

the trouble with good works is that one forgets oneself is a good work and deserving of priority !

the trouble with good works is that one forgets oneself is agood work and deserving of priority !

sepehr g.  writes

Andrew, what do you mean by  “ abandon the collective and embrace the solipsistic ! ” ?

I can't tell if I'm interpreting it correctly or not.  Aren't you just saying we are forever alone ?  How is being alone equivalent to solipsism which doesn't accept the existence of other independent minds apart from one's own ?

I'll modify Zakaj's past quote a bit :

“ We stand alone, with no support, as we float as our own artistic creations of the world, in the vast infinite recursion that is what creates, without creator or created ,  -   a personal creativity as an infinite process. ”

However, how does that point to solipsism ?  Solipsism doesn't even acknowledge that one's friends or pets have a mind.

Oh nevermind... you mean either epistemological or methodological solipsism.

Metaphysical solipsism is a schizophrenic view though

my

reply

an ultra sane schizophrenia !

a belief in the historical reality of buddha is no less crazy then jehovah's witnesses or mormons  !

a belief in the historical reality of buddha is no less crazy then jehovah's witnesses !

the likely death of ambrose bierce was  execution  by misadventure in  sierra mojada  during the mexican revolution ?

suicidal, an old man of 70 in a violent capricous country during an insurrection ?
















giacomo leopardi's view of poetry

they are to console us

with their own gift, which is like perfect pitch.

let us commit that to our dust.  what

ought a poem to be ?  answer, a sad

and angry consolation.  what is

the poem ?  what figures ?  say,

a sad and angry consolation.  that’s

beautiful.  once more ?  a sad and angry

consolation.

my  reply

they are completely  u n b o u n d e d

philip glass, the   soundtrack   for  ‘ the hours ’ ,  seems to be the mood of mylife ! : o ( )

ed.  the complete soundtrack was removed by youtube for copyright violation, have linked a clip of the movie instead !

when you look at magick, witchcraft and that sort of thing, you know it's nonsense/bullshit, but when you actually see a real spell then you really know it's  B U L L S H I T  ! : 0 ()

“ One  characteristic spell ,  recorded by the British polymath John Aubrey around 1680,  instructs you to begin by acquiring the severed head of a man who has committed suicide.  You then bury the head, together with seven black beans, on a Wednesday morning before sunrise, and water the ground for seven days with fine brandy.  On the eighth day, the beans will sprout, whereupon you must persuade a little girl to pick and shell them.  Pop one into your mouth, and you will turn invisible ”

there's no reincarnation, you can argue about the corporality of this incarnation, but re-incarnation is a step away from that in the wrong direction !

there is no reincarnation, you can argue about the corporality of this incarnation, but re-incarnation is a step away from that in the wrong direction !

jesus christ, depressed monkeys on an ssri develop six times the amount of atherosclerosis in their coronary arteries compared to those given a placebo !

SIX  TIMES  !

 la ruta a provenza

roland   oudout

 Belle Ile En Mer 1904
Oil on canvas, 60 x 73 cm

one of my all time favourite paintings !

better    colouring    ?

john russell, an unusual person, generous, independent income and destroyed 400 of his own paintings when his wife died ! : o (

i think you have to be so careful not to destroy your own work, eileen wrote a couple of poems once that she wrote down and they blew away . .  lost forever .  .

of course there is something r o m a n t i c a b o u t t h a t  !  : o ) (

jason  dafonte

 a s k s

what do you think is wrong with me?

my

reply

over elliptical sentences ?

 Henri Matisse’s portrait of his wife, Amélie Parayre, La Femme au chapeau, 1905

‘ on looking closely, i perceived she was holding a fan ! : o) ’

an interesting  article  on matisse's later years !

comment or no   comment    !  : o) (

a william blake quote    compilation

a spirit and a vision are not, as the modern philosophy supposes, a cloudy vapour, or a nothing  :   they are organised and minutely articulated beyond all that the mortal and perishing nature can produce

he who does not imagine in stronger and better lineaments, and in stronger and better light than his perishing mortal eye can see, does not imagine at all

nature has no outline, but imagination has

the more distinct, sharp, and wiry the bounding line, the more perfect the work of art … how do we distinguish one face or countenance from another, but by the bounding line and its infinite inflexions and movements? what is it that builds a house and plants a garden, but the definite and determinate  . . .  leave out the line, and you leave out life itself

zakaj   a s k s

my question to andrew  (and to sepehr, too)  though, is  :  what is the difference between a vision and a dream ?  is it the way it affects the person ?  is a vision more transformative than a dream? or is it more real ?  but what is unreal about dreams ?  that we wake up from them?

so does a vision never end ?  and if it ends, why is it more real than a dream ?  is the difference that one is displayed while we sleep, and the other while we're awake ?  is that an essential difference though ?  in that case, the vision would simply be a daydream, a very lucid day dream.

or is the whole question of the reality of the event irrelevant, and the important thing is only the content of the vision ?  but in that case, dreams are full of interesting content, too, and why is the dream-content less worth than the vision-content ?

my

reply

zakaj ,  physiologically ,  dreams are an artifact of sleep, that is the brain is in a shut down state undergoing re-organization/reinforcing of memories and is repairing and no doubt other things . .

visions i think are in some quasi undefinable state that is not really anything but able to access the whole brain

that is why i think that dreams are largely meaningless and visions are  n o t  ! : o ) (

experience shows this though sepehr did post some dreams that seemed meaningful, i do think his brain is remaining more concious that it should be for sleep and also that he seemed not to have worked these insights into his waking understanding . .

in short his visionary state was not strictly s l e e p ,  yet retained some of the limitations of it  . .  !

the most surprising thing for me about mystical experiences is the number of people who get very deep but narrow insights that are so uneven or unintegrated into the rest of their thinking/themselves as to make me wonder how that can happen  .  !

as a side note i don't think drugs generate  “ correct ”  visionary states because they are too mechanistically biological . .  !

reddit is full of that sort of idiot . .  for sure !

zakaj   r e p l i e s

how is the phenomenon you describe, the phenomenon of vision, related to what the dharmic religions refer to as  “samadhi” ?   (and or (the) dhyana(s) or jhana(s)?)

my

reply

well you are treating those  “concepts”  as being real and having utility, but in fact are they not voynich, that is misleading nonsense designed to trap the unwary ! ?

abandon the collective and embrace the solipsistic !

:

o

)

!

zakaj   replies

The text attributed to the Sixth Patriarch is full of references to samadhi.  Was it tampered with ? Which parts are genuine ?  And if nothing is genuine, why do we even care about him, since the texts about him is the reason we care about him in the first place ?

my

reply

zakaj, the thing about the sixth patriarch is authentic understanding is so rare, it's very very special !

in the whole of the zen tradition there's literally only a handful with that understanding, for instance joshu fully understands while huang-po and even dogen do not, tho dogen is better than  huang-po !

the platform sutra may have been written about 780 c.e. ,  70 years after the sixth patriarch's death and may or may not be representative to some degree of what the sixth patriarch said, at the least it's either distorted or garbled, but somewhere in there is an authentic voice . .

however if you notice its tone, it's the usual preacher trying to give some coherence or make sense of the complete nonsense that conventional religion and understanding is, its a constant reinterpretation . .

what does he mean by samadhi in the sutra  ?  dissociation or/and  ‘ formless absorption ’  ! ?

that is, he is trying to give coherence to a commonly used concept . .

your approach is flawed, you don't come from an inner coherence and try to spill a little sense in an insane world, rather you grab a garbage voynich concept and fling it around spilling effluent like it means something !

a lot of william blake's work was this  “ re-interpretion ”  of the christian garbage .  . whether his time would have better spent doing something else is an open question . .

sepehr g.'s  comment  on the platform sutra

I think it makes more sense to treat the Platform Sutra as advice and not dogma.  The Yampolsky translation does a better job than Red Pine's showing the union between contemplation and wisdom, preferably in solitude.  The Platform Sutra seemed more like a defense on how wisdom can naturally arise from contemplative time in solitude in natural scenery... it wasn't really a text that told you how things are . . .  Rather it deconstructed your perspective of what you think things are by saying,   “ Hey, if you want to know how things, just get some solitude & contemplative time, and naturally a wisdom will emerge ”  So it's not really a text that dictates on what you'd ought to believe, but moreso to get your own original creativity.

Andrew is going a step further by saying celibacy is needed too, and I think he is right.  Celibacy is indeed more conducive for such an apprehension which indeed has some depth to it.  I think Hui Neng would concur too in that regard.

I think the problem is you won't move more towards a Deleuzian or Derridean dialectic, Zakaj.  I think Henri Bergson and Deleuze was onto something too because both emphasized the importance of creativity.  The way creativity manifests itself when contemplative/wisdom (in solitude) unify has some kind of transcendental aspect to it that terse speaking just can't really touch, hence the use of responding to koans or poems with another spontaneous koan or poem of one's own creation, etc.  The point I'm making can be summed up simply: are you speaking from the wisdom that naturally arises from the unification of contemplation and wisdom in solitude within natural scenery OR are you speaking from your interpretations of concepts ?  If it's the former, what you have to say is important, but if it is the latter, then it is voynich.

This the 7th Zen patriarch, Andrew's, message . . .  but he adds 2 or 3 new things :

1)  watch your nutrition because otherwise your brain will be too impaired to take in that sweet solitude or the song of birds

2)  don't get involved in relationship dramas with clinging to male/female paradigm - better to be celibate and not deal with the flux of a woman's desires

3)  read good poetry or engage in reading/watching quality artwork, otherwise you'll just be inane

 Sunrise on a frozen Lake Michigan, Chicago. [2048x1263]

surprisingly, lake michigan, chicago and not a pole ! : o)

there is something soothing about this picture !

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

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there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

. .


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there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

: o  (  )

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

: o ( )

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

: o ) (

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of  b e i n g  !  ¡

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of b e i n g  !  ¡

there is a marvellous discovery in the poverty of b e i n g ! ¡

chalres dickens sort of strikes me   as mystical abnormal     !

so,  he/she  was  overmethylated  in the womb ! ?

basically a vision can be more real than real life and that's what people never can get . .  !  ¡

a good play can be like that, like sir henry neville's  ‘ the tempest ’    !

basically a vision can be more   real    than real life and that's what people never can get . .  !  ¡

basically a vision can be more real than real life and that's what people never get . .  !  ¡

a aslice of life/ contact you would never see /come into  contact  with otherwise ! : o )

gesshin   writes 

Take for example the opening of the famous novel Snow Country :

国境の長いトンネルを抜けると雪国であった。

A literal translation might read :  National border's long tunnel  (object marker)  come out  (conjunction that indicates consequence)  snow country  (mystery particle... someone teach me about で)  was.

It takes some brain acrobatics to unscramble the Japanese to get a translation that people can actually understand :  “ The train came out of the long tunnel into the snow country ”  Ahhh. Much better.

leoboiko   replies

That de up there is part of a word, dearu, the ancestor to da.

Etymologically it's  “ to be at ” ,  but in meaning, the word dearu is just a literary equivalent of da or desu.

So de-atta is the same as datta.

国境の長いトンネルを抜けると雪国であった。

[[state border]'s long tunnel]  (from)  leave  (when,)  snow country was.

When  (the train)  left the long tunnel at the state border, it was the snow country.

This particular example is actually famous in translation studies, as it is difficult to retain the same flavor in English without making it sound unnatural.

The progression and point of view of the Japanese version makes you feel like you're inside the train :  first the state border and the long tunnel, then the coming out, and then, hey!, it's the snow country !

my  retranslation

crossing the border, the train emerged from the long dark tunnel into the snow country

everyone has cognitive style issues !

the content problem is just a reflection of the cognitive style failures ! : o ( )

 aeneas recounts to dido the misfortunes of troy, 1815, neoclassical

a lyric painting by pierre-narcisse  guérin  of aeneas spinning the yarn to dido, interestingly she was an historic   person   living about 840 to 800 ?  bce

 the young martyr (french: la jeune martyre, 1855, oil

there's something very effective about this  painting  by paul delroche though in a sentimental style it conveys the brutality of death along with a degree of fraud ! : o)

ah, it's his dead wife, that makes sense ! : o ) (

 the young martyr (french: la jeune martyre, 1855, oil
















i notice gesshin removes/deletes most of my replies on her blog, sometimes like my most recent which quoted the japanese phrase  ‘ mono no  aware ’   物の哀れ   which means  ‘ the pathos of life ’  and is allusive to yasunari kawabata's  ‘ the snow country ’  and the  11th  century classic  ‘ the tale of genji ’  by murasaki shikibu and i also included this   quote

all in all it seems pretty innocuous ,  i know she has concerns about potential donors   _     _
but i think she is balking at the equivalence of zen and kawabata    ̲   _  _

i am actually grateful to her and a  commenter  and that post, it seemed to align  ̲     ̲   ̲   and i looked at kawabata and   the snow country   seriously for the first time, i hadn't liked him and still think he is somewhat skew in his approach   ̲    ̲   but i could see the zen and artistic value in it

maybe looking at photos of the area h e l p e d . .

but as gesshin moves more into quality literature she will be bumping her nose on   ‘ equivalence ’  all the time   ̲    ̲   !  : o ) (

zen really only has permanent meaning for me because of my vision with the  6th  patriarch ,  if it wasn't for that i would have left zen long ago  ̲  .

paradoxically being the  7th  patriarch i am the only one who can give her real zen identity ,  but in her scared removal of  “ equivalence ”  she also removes any hope she has  at/of  real zen identity  _ .   _

but this is just my experience of zen and the web, and real life actually   /somewhat  ,  just endless schizophrenia and poor/damaged/malfunctional cognitive styles _ .  .

it doesn't change and one is stuck with the endless and fruitless burden of making something out of it ,  an endless restoration to sanity and insanity _ .  .

this of course is   “ equivalence ”   !

sepehr g.   replies

yeah, I've learned a lot from you, and I do think you had a genuine vision.

the problem is most people can't be perfect.  I won't lie however ...   I did up my game and perspective of the Infinite by frequenting this blog and reading your poems

there is a perennial aspect to the way you approach wisdom and contemplating that most people aren't willing to accept.  I feel the reason I can understand you is because I had powerful visions of looking at the golden luminescence shining through my window as a kid.  there was a kind of impersonal, lifting aspect to it of some sort.
















i have a wood heater and when hot it emits quite abit of infra red light, maybe just as much from the steel body as through the glass window in the front door, but mostly i expose myself to heat through the front door window !

anyway, because there is new  research  showing that red and infrared light has various therapeutic effects on the body and brain, before i go to bed i move close to the heater and bathe my face and the sides of the skull and also my back in quite intense light/rays/infra red from the heater and imo it does something ! :o)

if you close your eyes  (don't do this with the eyes open !) ,  and look at the heat source, i think the warmth improves the circulation in the eyelids and eyelid area which helps with eye infections by enabling the blood to deliver more immune cells to the area !

a couple of months ago i had an eye infection from i think all the bacteria that the  cattle  in the paddocks next to where i live generate in dry dusty weather and bathed my eye about six times over several hours in colliodal silver, it was getting better, but this normally takes at least a day or so to go after the colliodal silver treatment, but that night i did the exposure to the infra red thing and almost within half a minute of starting the infection completely cleared up , u n b e l i e v a b l e ! :o)

because i had alot of sun exposure as a child and teenager i am hopeful that there is some hyperthermic benefit from quite intense  (but not too intense !)  red and infra red exposure to any potential skin cancer !

maybe the infra red helps the spine as well as the brain !

----------------------

i wonder if with the repeated applications of the colliodal silver eyewash i got   a pulse dosing interval right   for whatever it was of benefit to kill ?

“ you give the patient an antibiotic and it kills all the growing cells

then the persister cells start  “ waking up ”

but before they can divide to form a new population, you hit them with the antibiotic   ‘ pulse ’  again ”

herodotus was as much   a philosopher    as a/an historian ! :o)

herodotus was as much   a philosopher    as a historian ! :o)

herodotus is as much   a philosopher    as a/an historian ! :o)

herodotus is as much   a philosopher    as a historian ! :o)
















the womb has its own body clock   that needs to synchronize with the mother's to ensure optimal conditions for fetal growth and development

no mention in the media of course, but this has huge implications in workplace health and travelling since jetlag and shift work will obviously desychronize the womb and mother's body clocks !

the notions of fluid and  crystallized  intelligence are useful ways of looking at the world !

the child is the father of the man ! : o )

funerals are a funny business ,  they are nothing to do with the person who has died !

funerals are a funny business ,  they are nothing to do with the person who has died !

funerals are a funny business, they are nothing to do with the person who has died !

v3p1

v3p2

funerals are a funny business ,  they are nothing to do with the person who has died

funerals are a funny business ,  they are nothing to do with the person who has died

funerals are a funny business, they are nothing to do with the person who has died

funerals are a funny business they are nothing to do with the person who has died !

v2r1

v2r2

funerals are a funny business they are nothing to do with the person who has died

funerals are a funny business they are nothing to do with the person who has died

v1p1

v1p2

v1p3

  “ supplemental  folic acid can  enhance  blood vessel dilation in older adults ”

there's some fine print there about whole body circulation restrictions from getting older if you think about it  !  :o)

that's a really   superb photo     ! 

nature  protects  woodpeckers  !

“ conus carlottae, which has a shell covered by  large polka dots ,  a pattern that is apparently extinct among modern cone snails ”

s t u d y

melatonin is best taken in very small amounts and only once or twice a week because it habituates !

yeah ambien can put you into a trance where some really weird things can happen !

going onto red light which the circadian rhythm perceives as dark, an hour before bed helps !

there's a lot you can do to improve sleep ,    my write-up     ! 

david mahmet

   quotes

how to  direct

without illusions ,  we would never do anything !

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o


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without illusions ,  we would never do anything !

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o


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without illusions ,  we would never do anything !

. .


o


)


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without illusions ,  we would never do anything !

: o )(

without illusions ,  we would never do anything !

without illusions ,  we would never do anything

sepehr, i am not interested in introducing realistic complexity into your oversimplified views !

that goes for the others as well !

sepehr, i am not interested in introducting complexity into your oversimplified views !

that goes for the others as well !

sepehr, i am not interested in introducing realistic complexity into your oversimplified views !

sepehr, i am not interested in introducting complexity into your oversimplified views !

i am not interested in introducing realistic complexity into your oversimplified views !

i am not interested in introducting complexity into your oversimplified views !

 The female ensign scale insect is preserved in a piece of amber retrieved from a mine in northern Myanmar (Burma). The specimen was trapped while carrying around 60 eggs and her first freshly hatched nymphs. The eggs and nymphs are encased in a wax-coated egg sac on the abdomen. This primitive form of brood care protects young nymphs from wet and dry conditions and from natural enemies until they have acquired their own thin covering of wax.

there you are, you're looking at something   100 million  years old !

except the wings are odd, it looks as fresh as yesterday ! :o)

“ within the last  decade ,  advances in anesthesia, electrical stimulation equipment and new evidence about electrode lead placement have improved safety and reduced side effects ”

“ during the treatment course, ECT leads to plastic changes in the brain that are linked with improvements in mood

specifically, we saw the hippocampus and amygdala  -  important for memory and emotion  -  are shown to increase in size

people with smaller hippocampal size prior to starting treatment are less likely to respond as well to treatment ”

notions of justice are particularly not applicable in relationships i notice !  . . !

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o


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notions of justice are particularly not applicable in relationships i notice !  . . !

. .


o


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notions of justice are particularly not applicable in relationships i notice !  . . !

notions of juctice are particularly not applicable in relationships i notice !

notions of juctice are particularly not applicable in relationships i notice

please don't post on the 7th patriarch  blog until further notice, i am just finding the maintenance too wearing  . .  !

that is everyone seems to spring to their own agendas, you just can't leave the comments section alone like brad warner does, i find that approach too destructive to oneself personally . .

i am finding a little rule for life, is just observe, don't get involved

i may not ever re-open it for comments, just post the latest  “ pending poems ”  link as each page folds over !  . .

i am open to receiving email or contact via my  zaddar1  reddit nick !

right i have had a bit of a think and i am asking you  (ed.  sepehr g.)  to not post until you can see what i am talking about and address it, which i suspect will be never !

you have become increasingly schizophrenic and have a fundamental cognitive  “style” problem with  a lack of reality testing  with what you think you have worked out !

probably the next step will be to close off this  board  for six months, i may do that quite soon !

i really am very busy, you idiots can piss your lives away in verbal bullshit, but reality is knocking hard on my door, i will be just happy to post the odd poem on my page and not have to worry about the nutcase web !

/r/zen  is just senile retardees !

: o ) . .  % . ;  $  ; .  (

/r/zen is just senile retardees !

/r/zen is just senile retardees

jon ,  u  write

I've been reading a book comparing the anatomy of man and the stories of the bible, saying that the people and places in the bible corresponds to specific glands and functions in the human system

my

r e p l y

even in allegory, it's hard to see, given the way the bible was constructed how that could be the case ! ?

however it is entirely reasonable that michelangelo's sistene chapel fresco painting  “ the  creation  of adam ”  uses an anatomical map of the brain as it's schema !

michelangleo was a genius, most of the men who wrote the bible were retards !

ezekiel isaiah jeremiah, jesus son of sirach, judith, maccabees and whoever wrote ecclesiastes, proverbs, and the wisdom and song of solomon are all shining angels of intelligence, thought and real work, but the rest are mostly morons writing for morons !

you have  talent ,  but if it's being used to murder me, then i can do without it !

you have talent, but if it's being used to murder me, then i can do without it !

schubert’s string quintet in c major wasn't  published  until  25  years after his  death  !    [ adagio 14:15 ]

barbara bonney sings  ave  maria

















quote  from  “ the snow country ”  by yasunari kawabata

here in our mountains, the snow falls even on maple leaves

eileen ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

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o


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eileen , there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

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o


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eileen ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

. .


o


)


(

eileen , there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

. .


o


(

eileen ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

. .


o


(

xyz ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

. .


o


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)

xyz ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives !

xyz ,  there's too much crazy sadness in our lives

xyz, there's too much crazy sadness in our lives

 Christ's face is seen in a detail from the Crucifix, 1187, by Alberto Sotio, Cathedral of the Assumption of Mary, Spoleto, Umbria, Italy

now that's a good jesus pic, haunted, schizophrenic and with a touch of a nice moustache .  . who wouldn't be in his situation  !  :o)(

 Christ's face is seen in a detail from the Crucifix, 1187, by Alberto Sotio, Cathedral of the Assumption of Mary, Spoleto, Umbria, Italy

now that's a good jesus pic, haunted, schizophrenic and witha touch of a nice moustache .  . who wouldn't be in his situation  !  :o)(

 Christ's face is seen in a detail from the Crucifix, 1187, by Alberto Sotio, Cathedral of the Assumption of Mary, Spoleto, Umbria, Italy

now that's agood jesus pic, haunted, schizophrenic and witha touch of a nice moustache .  . who wouldn't be in his situation  !  :o)(

is there even such a thing as men and women ! ?

living by myself for quite a while i think there's just bodies and behaviors !

it's funny, all the technology and wealth of instagram to single out and exclude this  photo  !

from the time of  lahan ,  jacob, rachel, leah  and  rachel sitting down over the idols she put in a camel saddle bag to hide them saying she could not rise in lahan's presence because she was having her period . .

patriarchy in denial

about something  —  it's secondary purpose to this reproductive function  ?

there's some entirely different dimension of being that is always occurring that we have limited access to !

. .


o


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there's some entirely different dimension of being that is always occurring that we have limited access to !

. .


o


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there's some entirely different dimension of being that is always occurring that we have limited access to !


v2
















there's some entirely different dimension of being that is always occurring that we have limited access to


v1

doris lessing and jenny  diski ,  two very intelligent women in an unusual  arrangement   ! :  o  )  (

sorta surreal really !

“  the fact  that the neutron is slightly more massive than the proton is the reason why atomic nuclei have exactly those properties that make our world and ultimately our existence possible ”  !

jon,  thanx  for the louis brawley links, he is interesting !

you want to look a bit more deeply at some of these people, the real conclusions are abit startling !

ug is a bit like charles bukowski i feel, in some way they miss the real point which is that space that gesshin  describes  so well !

i notice ramana also says that, it was the mountain that taught him and not people .

louis brawley had a skill and income from that and it gave him a lot of  freedom ,  more freedom than ug krishnamurti who was constantly cadging money and lodgings, not a happy state of affairs ! .

infinity is the  touchstone  against which right and wrong is measured and not the flawed reference needles of people !

it's a lifetime's work to follow that through

if you follow gesshin's blog, she is having trouble accepting her own profound insight and disentangling herself from all the zen bullshit, but it is s l o w l y  h a p p e n i n g . .

all i knew about croesus is that he was a possibly mythological figure who had a lot of gold, imagine my surprise when reading about   herodotus   that croesus was in fact the last king of lydia and has some true stories about him one of which is him asking solon  ‘ who was the happiest man in the world ’  and solon saying in effect, let's see what happens to you in the future before we can say what the story is . . of course croesus's son was accidently killed, his wife comitted suicide on the fall of sardis and croesus himself was burnt on a pyre by cyrus however my answer to croesus would have been ,    ‘ i myself are both happy and unhappy . . . ’

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interestingly croesus was the fourth generation descendent of gyges who supposedly killed candaules on the instigation of  candaules'  wife after candaules forced gyges to hide in their bedroom and see her naked !

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touchstones were used in croesus's reign to test the purity of gold coins by rubbing them on a smooth slightly abrasive black stone  (lydian stone)  and comparing the colour of the smear with a reference smear from needles of known gold content !

a story from  “ The Empty Mirror  -  Experiences in a Japanese Zen Monastery ”   by  Janwillem van de Wetering

The master said,  ' Before you leave I want to tell you a short story. Perhaps you know it ' .  .  .  I didn't know the story and the master asked us to sit at ease; he lit a cigarette and allowed us to smoke as well.

Peter fetched ashtrays and the head monk poured more tea and gave us each a sugar cake, from an ornamental box which an old lady from the neighborhood had presented to the master that morning.

Some two hundred years ago a gentleman, who lived by himself in a large house not far away from here, saw a devil in a cage when he was visiting the market; a devil with a tail, yellow skin, and two long sharp fangs  -  he was about the size of a large dog.

The devil sat quietly in a strong bamboo cage and gnawed on a bone.  Next to the cage a merchant was watching the crowd and the gentleman asked him if the devil was for sale.

' Of course ' ,  the merchant said.  ' otherwise I wouldn't be here.  This is an excellent devil, strong, diligent, and able to do anything you want him to do.  He knows how to do carpentry, he is a good gardener, he can cook, mend clothes, read you stories, chop wood, and what he doesn't know he can learn.  And I don't ask much for him, if you give me 2,000,000 yen  ($2000)  he is yours. '

The gentleman didn't haggle and paid in cash.  He wanted to take the devil home at once.

' One moment ' ,  the merchant said.  ' Because you haven't bargained with me, I want to tell you something.  Look here, he is a devil of course, and devils are no good, you know that, don't you ? '

' And you said he was an excellent devil ' ,  the gentleman said indignantly.

' Sure, sure ' ,  the merchant said.  'And that's true as well.  He is an excellent devil, but he is no good.  He will always remain a devil.  You have made a good buy, but only on the condition that you keep him going all the time.  Every day you'll have to give him a routine, from this time to that time you have to chop wood, and then you can start preparing the food, and after dinner you can rest for half an hour but then you really have to lie down and relax, and after that you can dig in the garden, etc. etc.  If he has time to spare, if he doesn't know what to do, then he is dangerous. '

' If that's all ' ,  the gentleman said, and took the devil home.  And everything went beautifully. Every morning the gentleman called the devil who would kneel down obediently.  The gentleman would dictate a daily program and the devil would start his chores and work right through the day.  If he wasn't working he rested or played, but whatever he did, he was always obeying orders.

Then, after some months, the gentleman met an old friend in the city, and because of the sudden meeting and the thrill of seeing his old buddy again he forgot everything.  He took the friend to a cafe and they started drinking sake, one little stone jar after another, and then they had a very good meal and more to drink, and they landed up in the willow quarter.

The ladies kept the two friends busy and our gentleman woke up in a strange room, late the next morning.  At first he didn't know where he was but gradually it all came back to him and he remembered his devil.  His friend had gone and he paid the bill to the women, who looked quite different now from what he remembered the previous evening, and rushed home.

When he reached his garden he smelled burning and saw smoke coming from the kitchen.  He stormed into his house and saw the devil sitting of the wooden kitchen floor.  He had made an open fire and was roasting the neighbor's child on a spit.

















gesshin    writes

as I walk I can hear the sound of a nearby stream

other than the sound of the mountain stream and my feet on the dirt road, it's completely silent

I feel the same way I did four, five years ago :  unhinged by the beauty of the countryside and the mountains

I remember years ago in the monastery, before I ordained, after everything was cleaned up from lunch I would go walking through town

the valley was so quiet it felt like it belonged to me

the roads were empty, and I would look around at the mountains encircling me, and watch the bamboo lining the hills bend in unison in the wind

I would walk pass irrigation ponds, rice paddies, yellow grass and shining, tile roofs

there were tiny flower gardens, gigantic, terrifying insects, and one, white heron who would always come to the irrigation pond and sit beside it

the green mountains seemed to melt into the valley and also hold everything in silence

my

comment

that is enlightenment, you spend the rest of your life pursuing it !:o)(

the patriarchs can't touch you and dogen follows b e h i n d . .  !  :  o )  . (

















bees and manganese !

if you think about it, it's a  significant  thing to be a bee and tired !

still this study may indicate the utility of small  doses  of manganese for increasing dopamine levels in humans !




















tons of money but half a brain !

can't  you  web research, like the biofilm  /microbiome  carbohydrate and  scd  diets weren't way there before you with practical non medical solutions, but you know, you have think and do some real work !

god, the world is full of stupid turds !

i did think of emaling them/him, but then i thought, they will just rip it for what they can to feather their own pockets and medicine will get the kudos !




















no blood donation center will tell you this but there is  definitely  such a thing as donating too frequently unrelated to Hb !

conversely it could also be a therapy for reducing overproduction of red blood cells !
















i notice brad warner is really into  godzilla  and monsters, but when it came to the crunch, i was the one  (the only really dangerous monster)  he banned from his blog !

brad you can play at being enlightened, but like all fakes, long term where is that going to get you ?

the  clip  on you tube ! :o)
















i notice brad warner is really into  godzilla  and monsters, but when it came to the crunch, i was the one  (the only really dangerous monster)  he banned from his blog !

brad you can play at being enlightened, but like all fakes, long term where is that going to get you ?
















i notice brad warner is really into  godzilla  and monsters, but when it came to the crunch, i was the one  (the only really dangerous monster)  he banned from his blog !

i've seen plenty of photos that are art !

why shouldn't photos be declarative memory and holographic in nature ?

what you post on message boards should have a degree of finish, collection, condensation and originality !

not just cluttering the board with copy and pasted junk !

what you post on message boards should have a degree of finish, collection, condensation and originality !

sepehr g. you are doing the typical reddit zen thing, quoting some  bullshit  then making like some righteous guru with stupid comments !

zakaj with those photos has done something that is his own work, you just don't get it do you ?

you are losing your own identity in rubbish, you need to get the balance right, one look into a book and two in life johann von goethe  said  !

btw, don't delete those posts . . just let them sit, i am never entirely right ! :o)

----------------------

you are way too needy and too much work maybe the hardcore zen blog is your level !

you have talent, but if it's being used to murder me, then i can do without it !

please limit yourself to one post a day maximum for six months until the 23rd of september 2015 !

photos from zakaj's 2015 japanese trip

collating into one post

me & wife at Fushimi Inari : photo_800

wife : photo_814

interesting library at Mii-dera : photo_856

each  “ cell ”  in the octagon has rolls of commentaries and sutras inside, and the whole library actually rotates !

Mii-dera : photo_864

path at Mii-dera : photo_869

I thought these two pics below were especially good, considering how much I suck at taking photos !

my favorite by far was the Kaidan-in on Mount Hiei  (headquarters of Tendai sect, where Dogen, Nichiren, Shinran, Ippen & co all trained)

photo_908

I'm fascinated by its colours, and the light

photo_909

either I was lucky or the light and the temple themselves emanate beauty ... that's my wife and my mother-in-law

I suck at taking pictures but I think that was is quite successful, either I was lucky or the light and the temple are just so beautiful that you can't make a bad photo !

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the paths are beautiful, photo_912 ... this is the place where Eisai the founder of J. Rinzai Zen used to meditate, the very spot : photo_915

love the paths and the gardens, photo_869 wish I could be here as something other than a tourist ...

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the first two pics are of Kaidan-in which is perhaps one of the most important Buddhist structures in all Japan. It was in this building that Mahayana Buddhists declared their independence from the Hinayana Buddhists of Nara. The structure itself was built to commemorate the death of Saicho  (767-822), the founder of the Tendai sect ...  this is where Dogen, Nichiren, Shinran, Eisai, Ippen, all of the big names of Japanese Buddhism , practiced and were ordained

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( Sorry for this  “ travel log ”  I won't abuse 7th patriarchs blog to blog my travels it was just one exception ! )

my   reply

‘ Sorry for this “ travel log ” ’

that's your best content so far and you apologise ! ?

both you and sepehr delete your best posts as well !

i presume you used a digital camera and i think one reasons the photos came out so well is the light was bright, but diffused which is what it takes to make digital cameras shine, they especially don't like the light being too dull !

zakaj   replies

 kaidan-in, mt.hiei, march 2015 taken by zakaj

This is really the only good photo I've taken my entire life!  It's just with a Sony Cyber-shot ...  this building was also my favourite of all Japan, yet somehow nobody seemed interested in it !

The tendai monks bow to it every time they pass nearby... it is the only building the bow to, it must have an important meaning to them, the bow seemed genuine

I want to move here permanently just to be able to stay in these gardens, I love the nature here, for some reason I can't feel the same in Slovenian/European parks/garden/nature

my

reply

that building was completed in 828, and is supposedly pretty much as eihei dogen would have seen it during the time he lived there !

most of the buildings were razed in 1571 after the siege of mt. hiei by the shogun oda nobunaga

you are looking at something from the 9th century, it's really an authentic  “ transmission ”  back to that time, and yeah, there is a patina that comes across from your photo !

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ? !

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ? !

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ! ?

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ! ?

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks !

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks !

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ?

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks ?

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks

journalists ,  seagulls that think they are hawks

a good  insight  into the drug life . .

man  25C-NBOMe  is  dangerous  !

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake s   ?

:o()

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

:o()

!

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

:o()

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

: o()

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

: o ()

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

: o ( )

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

: o ) (

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake ?

what's the point of being enlightened if everyone just draws you into their own mistake

life is a lawsuit class action !

: o )  : o (  : o (  : o )  : o (  : o ( : o )

life is a class action lawsuit !

: o ( )

life is a class action lawsuit !

. .


o


(


)

life is a class action lawsuit !

. .


o


)


(

life is a class action lawsuit !

life is a class action lawsuit

watching this   video  and reading this comment helped me understand ballet a lot better !

Tony Bittar Sayegh  w r i t e s

I'm neither a dancer, nor I know anything about ballet techniques.  However, I am classical singer - therefore, a performer.  I've improved my stage presence by watching ballet videos.

Also, after seeing hundreds of dancers on here, I've become more aware of the musical phrasing.  I don't know if Natalia has beautiful feet, or if her arabesques may be better.  I don't care if she doesn't beat the tambourin extending her legs at the head height or if her arms are not  “good enough”  for Swan Lake.

This is what I see: a beautiful girl feeling the music. Her movements are evenflowing; her whole body is constantly phrasing - I assume that's why she doesn't look robotic in this variation; - and she is so graceful that it's impossible to not love her.

Also, she's a damn good actress. Natalia: I wished more opera singers could watch your videos, so they would understand that music and body are one. 

my

comment

you have to see the dancing in synchronicity with the music and this is where the outstanding performers /dancers shine ! :o)

sepehr g.  writes

here's a  play  i wrote about Emil Cioran 4.25 years ago.

is it good ?

they actually acted the play and it made people feel uncomfortable !

my  r e p l y

yeah it is a good play, actually so good that it's a pity you can't make a career in it !

it would go quite well on you tube !

it really helps to have something published or produced like that so others  (including family)  can see it !

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

dreaming se e m s  !

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

s e e m i n g   d r e a m s  !

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

dreaming se e m s  !

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

s e e m i n g   d r e a m s

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

dreaming se e m s

from the pupil

black stream purling

ink is liquid

s e e m i n g   d r e a m s

simone boué ,  the only   interview   she ever gave about her lover/ life partner emil  cioran

the article is in french, but the google translation has some sort /a surprising coherence !

demystifies him a bit !

i found it interesting he wrote in french, a language that translates poorly from romanian, whereas english translates well !

singlefinger    w r i t e s

thought of your   poem

I can't remember the words, but I was thinking about my pupil billowing away from my eye like black smoke

hope you are well !

my

reply

lol user/healthspin and reddit zen free is well ! :o)

yeah that's a good image you used and what was intended in the poem !

“ from the pupil

black stream purling ! ”