pending poems 144

this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed !

with autism you are basically building your understanding in a truer way than conventional social paradigms

enlightenment experiences happen, its been a while since i have had any and i canʼt say i miss them, too much trauma !

“ if u dont mind me asking, in what way were they traumatic ? ”

its heightened awareness and stressful and all the rest of it...

like waking up and discovering you have been in a car accident !

you are just doing your usual stuff then suddenly you whipped through the void to infinity, shake his/her hand then you are whipped back again changed . .

you are not the same person as before, howʼs that for dissociation !

autism is a low ‘ theory of mind ’ paradigm !

autism is a low ‘ theory of mind ’ paradigm

intellectual property is notoriously unprotected !

intellectual property is notoriously unprotected

i have seen brad warner mention that its a japanese national trait to take anything from anywhere and use it for their own purposes

“ cultural dissonance ” is not a concept with them

i have seen brad warner mention that its a japanese national trait to take anything from anywhere and use it for their own purposes !

i have seen brad warner mention that its a japanese national trait to take anything from anywhere and use it for their own purposes

“ I could slap you and you would complain without seeing why I did it ”

did you check whether i had a knife !

no

because i ran the blade down from the bottom of your sternum to the waist line, pulled your intestine out through the slit stomach wall, wrapped it around the nearest fixed object then made you run so the rest of your gut pulled out !

thatʼs actually an execution method during the russian civil wars, except the man was made to run around a tree to pull the intestine out !

i took an axe, crushed open the skull and was amazed, where the brain should have been was an emaciated mouse running around going squeak, squeak !

i put my foot on it to put it out of its misery, but even dead it still goes “ squeak, squeak ”

ed. i have gutted a lot of wallabies and even cleaned the intestines out to eat !

thereʼs a number of people showing signs of “ socialized violence” on reddit zen, they have been taught to use violence or physical threats as a problem solving tool !

they are promoting permissive violence, thatʼs how they get what they want, and are posting on a zen board !

i knew the tune well but had never listened to the lyrics before, they are very good !

j a s o n writes

yesterday at soccer the ball was kicked hard at my chest so naturally I covered my heart with my hand to deflect the ball, this guy on the opposing team automatically calls handball and this being a friendly game I thought it was sort of ridiculous so I said “ youʼre such a baby ” and walked away

this guy grabs me by the collar and says something angrily, I had to push him away and tell him not to fucking touch me

people canʼt handle words so they resort to violence

iʼd seen him go off even worse, so its partly my fault for saying anything as i knew there was a chance heʼd get angry

my r e p l y

sport and sports practice are an excuse for violence for some, my landlordʼs son was viciously attacked and had his jaw broken and teeth knocked out at a game, the police did nothing

when you go to your practice or game, you are always exposing yourself to this sort of person, they can leave you half dead with permanent brain injury and nothing will be done to them

beware, you just donʼt what goes on in some peopleʼs minds !

being on autistic spectrum you get these weird resonances between people, some favourable like us, some unfavourable like some-one in a sports game or practice who just doesnʼt like who you are and implements his punishment !

jason says

your english is very wide and rounded, maybe my vocabulary will match yours one day !

my r e p l y

i use google a lot ! : o)

the glorious lamp of heaven, the sun

the higher heʼs a-getting

the sooner will his race be run

and nearer he is to setting

robert herrick , verse two

jason asks

what do you do that you consider a waste of time ?

my

r e p l y

as you get more experienced almost everything you do can be somewhat productive, the question is whether it is useful in a life sense..

that is, is the road what you do puts you on rewarding in a a life sense

so i read and post on reddit zen and it has some uses, provides the impetus for good writing and makes me think and is a relatively “ safe ” exposure to real life extremes, you will notice from the zen records that some of the people in zen are not safe to be near in real life at all and actually i had a couple of quite violent replies recently that show the people are used to using physical threat as part of their modus operandi

but overall is this a useful direction to be developing in, i donʼt know . .

really, everything is secondary to the fugue states of infinity, that is the source of enlightenment, but people just donʼt want to know spewing their idiocies like they mean something and the real sacred just is an unknown element to them . .

yesterday i walked along the beach at ulverstone from early dusk to dark, the pellucid blue sea and towering clouds over a headland in the sky . .

basically everything that distracts you from the reality of the fugue states is a waste of time . .

jason asks

do you really find that people get ‘ split ’ when they know more than one language ?

my reply

only monoglots are really proficient in their language, polyglots blurr features of all the languages they know into each other

the russian poets who stayed in russia under lenin and stalin loved that language more than their lives . .

also there is a huge consumption of brain resources by the extra languages

so the answer to your question is ” yeah ” !

jason

r e p l i e s

well i wonder if blurring is a problem, or maybe its just different

my

r e p l y

it really affected toni packer imo, but you know its just one of those things of circumstance and the real casualty is poetry, prose seems to be much less affected !

reddit zen = gobbling idiots !

reddit zen = gobbling idiots

reddit zen = gobbling fools !

reddit zen = gobbling fools

tasha tudor

country life garden video

zakaj writes

an author will judge his work differently than the audience

for me,

“ you need to have been turned inside out by an unconsciously crafted flare of the embers (to make sense of ...) ”

is the best thing youʼve ever written at least of what I know

It's been floating in my skull — as if a koan — ever since

( I think it [the embers verse] touches a dimension that is extremely relevant to what is trying to unfold in my life, the fusing of objective and subjective or rather their unitary source, that uncanny valley where subject-object are yet undifferentiated — perhaps the place where “ magic ” and “ alchemy ” can be read in a non-idiotic way, even... )

---------------------------

The Hydra poem is very effective in evoking imagination I could instantly visualize what you were describing very vividly, animated even, which is rare as I usually have problems visualizing what I read ! ( hence Iʼm such an ignorant when it comes to novels, fiction literature etc. its hard for me to follow as I have problem visualizing — so I prefer text that refer to abstractions ) — but the Hydra is extremely effective at that for me

----------------------

You were right with “ unless you get in daily contemplative time and abstain to a significant degree from ‘ entertainment ’ then you are just wasting your time and mine ! ”

I was an arrogant asshole for ignoring that before and posting here anyway. I owe you an apology

Its extremely hard to be authentic

Iʼm a machine.

they have to be cooked and eaten quite soon after the animal is killed as enzymes in them degrade all that foamy stuff (the tubules) !

a very potent aphrodisiac and highly valued as a delicacy in some cultures !

the sheathing is a bit chewy !

sheʼd (ed. byron katie) spout hare krishna if she thought it would bring in money that one !

a cockroach crawled into her ear and ate her brain !

joshu never taught, he was just ‘ handling ’ monks who he needed for labour

it amazes me how serena williams gets away with obviously being on steriods !

“ prolonged high-dose anabolic-androgenic steroid use has been associated with psychiatric symptoms and cognitive deficits . . . . magnetic resonance imaging scans of the brain . . show negative correlations between steriod use and brain volume and cortical thickness ”

“ I am sitting 24/7 in my room reading books on idealism, skepticism, free will and Zen and I feel as if I am becoming mad

I am starting to doubt everythingEven whether Zen is really a thing

Maybe I will ‘ understand ’ Zen when on the brink of madness ?

I have read the Mumonkan and I understood nothing . . . I feel deceived ”

my

r e p l y

its the junk you read that makes you mad or listening to crap by “ zen masters ”

the mumonkan is not really “ enlightened ” and in fact most of what calls itself zen is not !

zen is like an unknown ancient script, you need a translation vocabularly, then it will all make sense so that you can see past/correct the distortions !

the big surprise is that when you can make sense of the distortions, is that everyone prefers the distortions and will be quite violent in the defense of them !

a quote from ‘ the diamond of perfect wisdom ’ sutra

even the correct teachings should be abandoned

my comment

how many hear that ? reddit zen is an endless arguments of “ the real correct teaching ”

a poem by tostono (he knew robert creeley and was taught by him)

one day,

there will only be graves,

and no one to read our names,

and nothing strange, and nothing

to explain.

my reply

first three lines good, last two donʼt fit !

one day

there will only be graves,

and no one to read our names,

names read by no-one

only graves

tostono replies that my rework was on “ too tight a leash ”

my

r e p l y

it was the leash removed, you really have trouble accepting you donʼt understand these things, robert creeleyʼs poems are quite different, he doesnʼt stick in semantic spaces like you do !

the lives of hakuin and dogen are more documented, indeed quite well known from a biographical point of view and a bit of research into them and their lives enables one to discount the hagiographical aspect quite well...

ewk prefers his zen masters as the earlier bowdlerized cryptic idiots so he can pass his time eating the lotus of “ projection ”

i use 35% hydrogen peroxide and topical colloidal silver as antibiotics on the skin

the healing phase after surgery is as important as the surgery and these topicals are instrumental !

hydrogen peroxide is both an immune stimulant and oxidisier

you need to work out what improves the problem, if you can cure it without surgery good, if you canʼt then you have techniques to help the healing

got bitten by a bat the other day, you can be sure i put plenty of 35% hydrogen peroxide on the wound, fortunately the bite wasnʼt very deep !

yeah you have the risk factors for a pilonidal cyst, you want to look on online forums to see what works best, its not a straightforward condition and there are various surgical options with possible post operative complications !

35% hydrogen peroxide and colliodal silver have saved me from skin and infection problems more than a few times !

topical iodine can help too, but use wants to be sparing

----------------------

another way of looking at pilonidal cysts is it might be glorified acne in a difficult spot because of all the nerves and connective tissue in the tailbone area !

being enlightened is sorta like an “ anti-job ” only costs !

jason

w r i t e s

youʼve helped me tremendously, answering questions, it leaves me with room to figure out other things on my own

i know youʼve gained something from helping me too !

my

r e p l y

yeah thatʼs important otherwise it gets too one sided !

it actually upsets me when some-one usefully applies my advice, i think theyʼve got something at my cost !

that surprisingly is one of the big benefits of reddit zen, no-one listens when it would be very/quite productive for them to do so !

zakaj asks

unfortunately i have no on-topic comment about your dealings with ewk but iʼd like to ask you if you ever reached the mystical aspect of philip k. dick, his visions more specifically ?

my reply

i read him when younger, as to what his impact was i donʼt know

i think he is a bit “ life is a dream ” certainly !

one of my best pieces plus some needed problem solving for me !

iʼve been posting lately to the insane

they look normal

but to speak to them

is like untangling the gordian knot

a twisted tangled mess roping in their self identity

which can never change

apparently

like a hydra they fling their ropes around

entangling all who come near /they can

mainly themselves actually /as it happens !

reddit zen

lost into other lives

voynichated nonsense

just lost

thinking

it

found !

reddit zen

lost into other lives

voynichated nonsense

just lost

thinking

it

found

ewk makes up a quote

“ stuffing the novices mouths full of bean cakes to no purpose ”

my

r e p l y

you mean stuffing oneʼs brain full of pizza and tea ?

you have a book derived version of zen that suits your needs

zen is a name and thereʼs no reason it canʼt apply to what you do

but its not synchronous with the wisdom of the ancients

you are pretending to an attainment you donʼt have

well that doesnʼt differentiate from most here (ed. reddit zen)

the time you put in does !

one of the things about being on autistic spectrum is how people can be irrationally violent towards you, many years ago, when i was walking down a busy wellington street with some university friends, out of nowhere a guy came up behind me and punched me in the back of the head causing me to fall forward, he bolted like a rabbit and fortunately i had the sense not to chase him , thereʼs nothing worse for a head injury than strenuous exercise immediately afterwards which unfortunately is the case in sports !

if we could see our weaknesses clearly, they wouldnʼt be weaknesses

if we could see our weaknesses, they wouldnʼt be weaknesses

if we could see our weaknesses they wouldnʼt be weaknesses

what i saw a lot of in my real life zen zen experience was people becoming more intellectually crippled by it, i think that happens almost de rigueur here (ed. reddit zen)

however real life zen has a social and contemplative aspect that is difficult to come by any other way

effective friendship requires a dynamic amplification of shared attributes, abilities and strengths also with the compensation of each otherʼs weak areas as well !

this “ compensation ” is actually more primary than love, believe it or not !

ewk for some reason you have become obsessed by me and have started following my posting (ed. on reddit zen) around, this has happened with others

my “ therapy ” advice to you (ed. ewk) is to give up posting on reddit zen for six months, its making you “ mentally ill ”

planetbyter quotes from the platform sutra

“ if you are a person who truly practices the way, do not look at the ignorance of the world

for if you see the wrong of people in the world, being wrong yourself, you will be evil ”

my r e p l y

lol you are making me evil ! : o(

the platform sutra is not the direct word of huineng, but garbled, its very telling you prefer the garbled to the strong sense of what i wrote (also next section down) isnʼt it ?

let me rephrase that quote

getting too caught up in trying to remedy the ignorance of the world will enmesh you in a tar baby whose grip is too strong to remove yourself from !

planetbyter quotes seng-tsʼang

if you wish to see the truth then hold no opinions for or against anything

to set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind

when the deep meaning of things is not understood, the mind’s essential peace is disturbed to no avail

my

r e p l y

that is, you will post endlessly on reddit zen thinking you are doing something !

unsolved autistic spectrum resonance murders

the al-hilli family murders

jonbenét ramsey

a quote from charles bukowskiʼs book women {also} spoken by his to be wife, linda lee beighle

iʼd like to see you

my

c o m m ent

women are so definite

i never know if iʼd like to see anyone

jason writes

my

r e p l y

yeah they say 50% which is something

the problem is writing requires a very good brain, you just canʼt afford any concussive heft

soccer is just the wrong road for you, but you are not hearing it

----------------------

the problem with headgear is they can also amplify the concussive effect, i think this has been found with helmets in NFL

i donʼt know what the story is with that headgear in the link, but i donʼt think its necessarily any panacea !

if thereʼs a problem at the top, that is the rule making bodies persisting in ignoring the large amount of scientific and other evidence on the concussion inducement of head butting then all you can do is walk away since there appears no real work-around !

but there are several avenues pointing to the unsuitability of soccer for you, other ways of getting head injuries, various other injuries like foot tendon problems and your working physically during the day meaning the exercise is superfluous, plus soccer being a skill thatʼs entirely useless in your life and one that dates very quickly with advancing age . .

your writing is exceptional, just donʼt diss that, you have a god given talent !

another thing is that since you are on autistic spectrum, that places you in another window of vulnerability that is hard to understand until it happens to you, some arsehole also on spectrum seeks you out to do severe damage and any sports ground is a good place to do this since the origins of sport are village battle practice, ie a certain level of violence gets overlooked !

edit : jon replied that “ actually i usually get womped in the head from someone else kicking it ”

----------------------

you donʼt have a good sense of self preservation is your problem, thatʼs always something you will have to work with

hillary, the furnace mountain zen center in kentucky and now this

games like soccer are battle practice, nobody lasts too many battles, they get taken out . .

evolutionarily it is justified because they will have bred over the course of ten years or been very successful looters and retired

you are playing the sucker game, no looting or women . .

d o n t b e a s u c k e r

the suburban fantasy is not simply not for you, but also that it will wreck you !

thereʼs a heap of “ socialization ” opportunities around you, you just donʼt see them and mistake the faux brotherhood of sports for real socialization !

insanity

inanity

anity

sanity

insanity

inanity

sanity

anity

insanity

inanity

anity

sanity

ewk writes on me being the 7th zen patriarch

Sane people donʼt worry that they will be medicated out of their religious beliefs

my

r e p l y

a pearl thanx ! :o)

lol

any particular anti-psychotic you recommend ?

the one i am on is called “ anti-social ! ” : o)

the core of the way is reflection

everything else follows . .

insanity

trying

to

alter

anotherʼs

opinion !

insanity

trying

to

alter

anotherʼs

opinion !

insanity

trying

to

alter

anotherʼs

opinion !

insanity

trying

to

alter

anotherʼs

opinion

a senile old man

farts alone in his hut

disliking poetry

a sad way to be !

a senile old man

farts alone in his hut

disliking poetry

a sad way to be !

a senile old man

farts alone in his hut

disliking poetry

a sad way to be !

a senile old man

farts alone in his hut

disliking poetry

a sad way to be

“ Slopes of Mount Kugami — in the mountain’s shade a hut beneath the trees — how many years it’s been my home ?

The time comes to take leave of it — my thoughts wilt like summer grasses, I wander back and forth like the evening star — till that hut of mine is hidden from sight, till that grove of trees can no longer be seen, at each bend of the long road, at every turning, I turn to look back in the direction of that mountain ”

quote from ‘ Ryokan: Zen Monk-Poet of Japan ’ translated by Burton Watson

jason asks if i know why he left

my

r e p l y

it sounds like the hut was at a temple and a priest was supporting him, the priest could have died or the temple was worried about him getting older and needy from a health point of view and told him to move on

thatʼs just possibilities but his health was not good

the way that farewell is written, he didnʼt want to go !

psychiatrists are normalities answer to ‘ variance ’

since normality is error then psychiatry which is a guided return to error/normalcy is in error

ewk, in your view ‘ dia kensho ’ needs psychiatric counselling !

really in your world view psychiatrists are the top of the epistemological tree, not zen masters/patriarchs !

you kowtow to normative reality !

kroww posts on reddit zen

buddhism makes mind its foundation and no-gate its gate

now, how do you pass through this no-gate ?

its not made up, mumon says thereʼs a gateless gate, and I want to pass it !

my r e p l y

you have to go where you donʼt want to go to be aphotic !

that is, progress ideas based on their internal validity, not your need to proxy !

you need to examine the world through the lens of constant correction and that naturally leads through the “ gateless gate ”

jon writes

i have a few more stories i want to post but theyʼre kinda violent and not sure if i should . . . they involve people i know personally or know about

my

r e p l y

you just disguise things a bit, its a learned skill but not too hard ! there's nothing i can do to stop our eyes meeting, time stops for a little bit but what i usually do after is move on

jason w r i t e s

the girls at the registers

the one in the stands

in the aisle

the girl exiting the toll booth, she was the prettiest

i guess itʼs really about the girl who shows up to the soccer games, she comes with her boyfriend but every time I look up into the stands sheʼs staring at me

as I was leaving she was giving me this half eye closed look and walking this certain way, only thing I could do is look down and away !

fascinating mobile phone photos of /in north korea !

lying to a therapist wonʼt be helpful, learn to touch on subjects indirectly with them and its really just a discussion, just be careful, feel people out !

how many men do you have to shoot a day to get RSI in the trigger finger and right arm that needs remedial massage twice a week ?

the reason the germans were so successful when their invasion of russia started was that their diplomatic corp has successfully implanted through supposed leaks etc the idea in stalinʼs mind that the red armies officer corp was in a state of fermentation and rebellion against the ruling communists

stalin and the kgb with their usual brutality, had through execution, imprisonment, torture and the gulag pretty well eliminated any effective armed services function at the begining of operation barbarossa with the result that they were routed with incredibly heavy casualites !

stalin must have twigged to this and after the war went for the german diplomats with a vengance !

if hitler had not over-ridden his generals advice and allowed the german army to go straight for moscow they would have won within weeks !

a particular factor was not allowing the russians to gear up their tank production, one of the miracles of the war (for the germans) was how they were successful with so few tanks and not particularly suited tank designs, their anti-tank weaponry more than evened the balance intially !

another interesting wrong turn is the politburo wasted thier opportunity to execute stalin for this disaster, which sealed the fate for a fair portion of them, later execution !

the grand movements of history are surprisingly capricous and have fucked up origins !

thereʼs no such thing as a sport that doesnʼt have a significant injury heft !

interviews with life term prisoners at the “ black eagle ” prison in the urals !

i was just looking at this which quite sophisticated and witty and honestly is beyond the people on reddit zen

that really they are subnormal on reddit zen !

if somethingʼs nostalgia , you have to drop it and move on

if somethingʼs nostalgia, you have to drop it and move on

bumping heads in soccer

what i notice on reddit zen is that OPʼs are polished to give an impression of openness or affability that is not there when you read the history !

that is they are a sucker trap, arseholes polishing themselves / their wares for attention . .

the history shows the average and now i am reading them more, reddit zen is really quite off putting in terms of the dreary intellectual waste there !

snoop dog

dr. dre feat. snoop dogg - still dre

drop it like itʼs hot

snoop dogg talks shit about the alabama football team a little too soon

the central problem of zen is there is no halfway house between quietitude and contemplation and even a halfway busy life of getting things done !

they conflict, no two ways about it and oneʼs life is wreckage in the ruins !

you gain life experience and knowledge and then you die

: o (

you gain life experience and knowledge and then you die

you gain life experience and then you die

: o (

you gain life experience and then you die

the most basic hunting skill is to not accidently shoot something you shouldnʼt, so if you come back from a hunt without firing a shot the positive side is thereʼs no other problems !

this means clearly identifying the target and matching the distance to your “ minutes of angle ” accuracy, for me i use at least three minutes of angle on the target

you also need to clearly identify whatʼs behind the target if you miss, i got caught once with some cattle unseen in mist behind a wallaby, thank goodness i hit the wallaby !

i kill for food and basically you are after younger more tender animals and donʼt see the point of trophy hunting except as culling which is what it is i suppose !

i feel some hunting experience should be compulsory before you are allowed to own a rifle or shotgun, until you have the experience you have no idea what they are for and what they do !

its not nice !

its a brutal evisceration of the bodyʼs circulation pressure system and organs and irreversible, no comic or game character recovery !

when gutting wear disposable gloves !

i always do about ten dry fires with snap caps before going out hunting, its a very mechanical skill like tennis and you need to get into the groove !

be careful how you talk too, some people just canʼt handle any idea of blood and gore, chops in the supermarket come in cling wrap and plastic containers you know !

you are an accident, it happens, gene shuffling gives a certain combination, only way it happens, like charles bukowski, it certainly doesnʼt breed well !

enlightenment

jason writes

i am always thinking to no end

well thatʼs what makes my thinking aphoric and not

tric

“ Breece and I were friends at the University of Virginia back in the 70ʼs. . . . well, I say, “ friends ” — but truth be told, he was extremely guarded, quiet, depressed

We were both young members of a “ rockin ” Catholic church, St. Thomas. I was involved with a huge production of Godspell

Breece was always in the corners, watching, just observing. I knew he was a good writer , and I knew from his chats with me that he had that lonely, impossible-to-cope-with desperation that so many great writers have/had

The last time I saw him was at my wedding in Sept ʻ78. His wedding gift to me ? A set of pottery-type coasters with trilobites etched into the center

I wept when he died. And to this day, I feel guilty that I didnʼt do more to help this man. I could have done more . . . ”

the tyrant grinds down his slaves and they donʼt turn against him, they crush those beneath them

heathcliff in chapter eleven of wuthering heights

jason writes

the house is made of concrete

and the walls are thick with lead paint

the metal doors have big keyholes for big keys

and they screech when closed

throughout the house there is a mist of something old past

and the bodies of dead flys on the long kitchen table

ed. its a composite image in part of his grandmotherʼs house, the farm in massachusetts where he is living now and he was reading the following passage from

i reach the high barn and start my tractor, then drive to the knob at the end of our land and stop. i sit there, smoke, look again at the cane.

the rows curve right, but around them is a sort of scar of clay, and the leaves have a purplish blight. i donʼt wonder about the blight. i know the cane is too far gone to worry about the blight.

far off, somebody chops wood, and the ax-bites echo back to me. the hillsides are baked here and have heat-ghosts. our cattle move to the wind gap, and birds hide in the caps of trees where we never cut the timber for pasture.

i look at the wrinkly old boundary post. pop set it up when the hobo and soldier days were over. it is a locust-tree post and will be there a long time.

a few dead morning glories cling to it

a poem by jason

the house is made of concrete

and the walls are thick with lead paint

the metal doors have big keyholes for big keys

and they screech when closed

throughout the house there is a mist of something old past

and the bodies of dead flys on the long kitchen table

my reddit zen experience has had me thinking about addiction, the trouble with addiction is from the outside the answer looks simple, just stop whatever activity

the problem is that internally its quite a different scenario, the addict sees benefit and actually deep structural change in the brain is required for a better activity benefit scenario to emerge

the problem with alcohol and drugs and why they are such a one way street is the brain damage from use crimps or even annihilates capacity for change which is why it takes almost complete destruction for an alcoholic to stop !

with reddit zen i valued the social and writing skill building, interesting quotes but also perhaps was pursuing and believing in an agenda to right at least one small corner of the world . .

what has changed recently is that i have figured anytime you post you always incur a burden of answering the offended morons/idiots and its worse now because they know me and actively seek me out

also i think my writing has plateaued and i moved too far in trying to explain things in their terms, the writing seems to have odd synchronicites in i am not quite happy with

things have changed and how they will pan out i a m n o t s u r e

with philosophers you can spend an entire lifetime working out what they are saying, its better to somewhat read them and look at what others say about them !

the r/zen thread that killed me, a bad enough expereince to make me give up posting there !

the deliberate obtuse dishonesty and plain craziness !

tostono is persistent

r/zen seems like this painting of heironymous bosch to me !

if the world were a million things, then enlightenment is the one or two or three things that are coherent and make sense when 999,997 things are incoherent nonsense, blindness and middling and malign stupidity !

if the world were a million things, then enlightenment is the one thing that is coherent and makes sense when 999,999 things are incoherent nonsense, blindness and middling and malign stupidity !

“ how do you know youʼre enlightened ? ”

somehow you are able to see that we do nothing but walk in a dream !

“ how can someone become enlightened, or be in that state you describe ? ”

a couple of years ago i might have given you an explanation, but now i really donʼt know

you are basically asking a question about the nature of the world !

“ how do you know youʼre enlightened ? ”

somehow you are able to see that we do nothing but walk in a dream !

i really think the concussive risk is too high with soccer and since the rule making committees wonʼt take cognisance of the risks of head butting then you have to boycott it!

the thing with archery is you are not aiming for immediate one shot kills of the animal but for them to bleed to death, and this is how all butchery and hunting was traditionally done !

the meat keeps much better without blood in, thatʼs why they butcher that way

jason writes

actually the farmers said they were impressed with my improvement since their talk to me

my

r e p l y

thatʼs really important because their first little talk to you was code for “ youʼre going to be fired if you donʼt improve ! ”

keep asking them to help you upskill !

the problem with the soccer is you only have a few more years and your joints then start to take you out

the mild concussion from the headbutt in combination with a virus really quadruples the damage to the brain

i did tai chi for a year with a very good teacher and started to get really into it (though i am not a natural talent i have to say ! )

but you canʼt stay in one spot and need to progress and it simply becomes too consuming and taking of oneʼs time for no useful end !

now learning to shoot and hunt effectively and safely has been very useful !

you are too casual, not correct in detail and actually have a dishonesty in your approach

who is asking for disciples ?

not me and to be honest people are mostly very hostile

one needs to be objective about oneself

case number 54 of the blue cliff record

yunmen asked a monk : where did you come here from ?

the monk replied : hsi chʼan

yunmen asked : what words and phrases are there at hsi chʼan these days ?

the monk extended both hands

yunmen slapped him once

the monk interjected : iʼm still talking

yunmen then extended his two hands

the monk was speechless, so yunmen hit him

my comment

yunmen is chastising the monk for his bullshit

when you put in that extra effort in writing a post you are transiting out of

trism into aphorism

when you look at the great masters they are all saying that, aphorism, aphorism, thatʼs how i post, never the same opinion twice running, all developing from the springboard of queries and my reply, thatʼs the fundamental lesson of the zen dialogues !

joshu wasnʼt just sitting/standing there dishing out wrapped presents from his magic bag, but the question itself was the engine for moving him forward !

really who cares how wrong or right one is on this stuff, i really do not have any view on my being right, its simply observing back all i write is right, well most ! : o)

one needs to be objective about oneself

all my actual research is that eihei dogen did go to china, its corroborated by interesting things like the possible shogun funding it and documentation

the cases in the blue cliff record are from the public lamp records and yuanwu is just quoting them, most of these are enlightened dialogues, but his commentaries where he expresses his own views are not !

in his commentaries he does quote a lot of good stuff and the blue cliff record is really a foundation zen text

funnily enough i had a lot of visions yesterday and the day before, visiting very strange fantastical places

thatʼs what eating two wallaby brains does

never taken a drug in my life !

ewk, you pretend to scholarship, but when it comes to the crunch you are just another opinionated redditor saying “ take me seriously in spite of my bullshit ” !

whatʼs really telling is you donʼt have the scholarship mindset which is conclusions drawn logically from the right balance of evidence and inference, backed into a corner you just stay there forever !

yuanwu is hetereodox because in derridean terms he is still

tric and not aphoriac !

its actually quite easy to tell whether some-one is enlightened or not, why waste your life promoting logocentric fools !

it only makes you one !

ewk writes

you donʼt translate, you donʼt study

you try to share your suffering

my r e p l y

is this a new step in your theology ?

“ real zen masters donʼt suffer ? ”

we already know that they can be secretly enlightened but not talk about it !

i feel ruled out, i have a migraine and talk about being enlightened !

my retranslation of case 27 of the mumonkan

a monk earnestly asked nanquan : is there any truth that has not been preached ?

nanquan replied : yeah

the monk asked : what is that ?

nanquan replied : it is not mind or buddha or any of that compassion bullshit

spiking the earnestness

nanquan spoke more

than

he

could say

zen is an illusion to bolster oneʼs self esteem with masturbatory nonsense !

zen is an illusion to bolster oneʼs self esteem with masturbatory nonsense

the zen transmission system has resulted in really poor quality teachers, zen is just a waste now !

the blind approving the blind !

the zen transmission system has resulted in really poor quality teachers, zen is just a waste now !

mother teresa is being canonized, not the first atheist to be called a saint i guess !

everything to do with publicity !

there is a lot of criticism about the standard of care provided by the missionaries of charity, but when you think about it, for a young woman to devote her life to palliative care of the “ poorest of the poor ” is crazy so of course you are going to get the crazies !

i see it constantly on reddit zen, constantly this cognitive failure of not going into enough detail to sort things out and as a result everything one does is a walking disaster area !

too literal an interpretation of “ spirtual values ” i am afraid !

sylvia plath heading into the next huge life disaster (for both of them) after electroconvulsive therapy

however we are deformed or crippled, it comes out to get us !

the most depressing thing about reddit zen is not the mania or stupidity or intellectual slackness, but the deceitful personal dishonesty about things that canʼt even matter but must surely reflect a rather sleazy and lifelong way of dealing with the world !

you just want to argue, not get anything right !

you just want to argue, not get anything right

brad warnerʼs problem is he never escaped nostalgia !

monsters or dogen , its all the same !

sign of a decaying brain i am afraid !

keyser sozen r e p l i e s

Could be worse. He could be hooked on Doctor Who !

my

r e p l y

heʼs really one of the few genuine zen teachers, just this timidity about knowledge going forward cripples any public perception beyond his cult audience !

dr. who is a bit flawed, its sorta self defeating, i never really watched it, but was interested to see how recent episodes max in on effective special effects and the peter capaldi/jenna coleman combination worked really well !

unfortunately brad is still stuck back with his work at tsuburaya studios which is in my mind shows that he made a big mistake in leaving that line of work, he loves it more than he loves zen

whereas i love what zen is about more than work, more fool me ! : o(

brad warnerʼs problem is he never escaped nostalgia !

monsters or dogen , its all the same !

sign of a decaying brain i am afraid !

iʼm enlightened but its very overrated !

its actually pretty lonely because no-one else is !

the world is just a derridian logocentric cesspool i am afraid

its the constant aggressive madness that gets to one in the end !

youʼre actually way too logocentric !

zen is aporia and not logocentrism

the problem you have is the vast majority of zen you see and come across is logocentric, the great masters of course are aporaic

but you are not escaping the logocentric centrifuge . . !

“ jacques derridaʼs work is about reality ”

donʼt you mean aporia about reality and unreality !

delusional compared to what ?

i wr it e

waiting to be caught by she-death, is that figurative ?

zenthrowaway17 r e p l i e s

“ Death is not a man or woman in a black robe ”

my re p l y

well the robe doesnʼt have to be black or even there be a robe

death dishevelled or disrobed or something

death in blue jeans ?

tank top ?

“ Death is not a man or woman in a black robe ”

well the robe doesnʼt have to be black or even there be a robe

death dishevelled or disrobed or something

death in blue jeans ?

tank top ?

zen requires enlightenment

buji doesnʼt cut the ice

neither does buddhism

or faux enlightenment

actually

zen requires enlightenment

buji doesnʼt cut the ice

neither does buddhism

or faux enlightenment

actually

10 genuine clichés in one paragraph, a new record ?

“ 1. In the smallest atom , 2. you can find an infinite number of universes , 3. all themselves containing atoms which also contain infinite numbers of universes and so on . 4. What you are looking right now , this screen from which you are reading , is how all this universes look like , 5. the whole room is made of an infinite numbers of universes , 6. you are the infinite numbers of universes . 7. You are infinite , 8. you are god . 9. This is the play of the universe . 10. You are the universe . ”

by serene mountain also known as tormetic cesspool !

the last record was also held by some-one on reddit zen, but i forget who !

he was more imaginative and semantically dense than so really ‘ serene mountain ’ is the runner up !

a reddit zen post

Excuse my vanity but this dream I had last night was rather jarring and I donʼt really have any other place to discuss it

So I went to the Kurdish Embassy in London to volunteer to fight for the Kurdish forces in Syria and Iraq. I was shipped out fairly quickly and placed in an infantry unit in Aleppo. This unit had a couple of English speaking Kurds who I was paired up with to pick up the language

During a fierce firefight in an urban area there were two, presumably Isis, Arab fighters who were bleeding out. As one of them was slowly dying the whole street was firebombed. As the street wreathed in flame I witnessed a thousand buddhas, all alight and burning

my reply

wooden buddhas donʼt pass through flame !

another redditor replies to me

The flame passes through them. What is the difference ?

my reply

your dream perhaps, not his !

the redditor replies again

Whose ?

my reply

snarled in some tangle

about inside and outside

imagining the objective is subjective

and the subjective objective

he

dribbles

on !

: o(

“ how can you mend a broken heart ? ”

hearts mend, broken brains donʼt !

sad in her heart

the damaged heart

portends the brain

“ how can you mend a broken heart ? ”

hearts mend, broken brains donʼt !

“ how can you mend a broken heart ? ”

hearts mend, broken brains donʼt

a quote from dogenʼs ‘ exposition on great enlightenment ’ (daigo)

“ What is it like when a greatly enlightened person is nevertheless deluded ? ”

The teacher replied:

“ A shattered mirror never reflects again; a fallen flower never returns to the tree ”

my r e p l y

even the delusion is enlightened !

r/meditation, r/hinduism r/buddhism for instance !

“ Serene Mountain ”

claim (ed. reddit nick)

“ cesspit in turmoil ”

reality !

the millenial son of a zen priest leaves school at age 12 and a half and after years of game playing following, begins training to be a cook !

i actually feel that the parents acted intelligently in guiding their son, not too early and not too late and following his interest and ability !

jeez the japanese have a lot of fried food, they must have good gall bladders and bile production !

i actually wanted to post this on reddit zen but i seem finally to have got the message, if you post on reddit zen, you are just going to have to reply to a bunch of obnoxious hubric arseholes, i donʼt know why it took me so long to see this, i did sort of half see it before, but i guess i really had to go through the grinder again to “ get it ”

even though good writing can be generated, its just not worth it any more !

when i post there, its like there is an antibody reaction to me !

jason replies

you really have been writing very well on reddit zen, and reading it in almost real time makes a difference

definitely agree on the sad situation of having to reply to complete idiots, its my main deterrent from posting on reddit zen !

jon w r i t e s

I went out and asked some friends if they wanted to go for a walk but they didnʼt want to

I got up and left as soon as they brought up the the subject of old drunken times

Had a nice little walk to myself but I shouldʼve left my phone

itʼs too distracting

Idk, maybe people enjoyed the photos and videos I took

I think I had a better time alone than with them

my

r e p l y

“ I think I had a better time alone than with them ”

they are just drunk dumbarses, youʼre a cut above them, they will always just try to drag you into their messes

youʼve outgrown them basically !

a craftsman is judged by the quality of his work !

only fools take judgments of talent as sufficient !

the wise man laments the talent wasted but accepts such a waste as beyond his provenance !

actually i think “ life failure ” is an important part of developing a true “ zen ” understanding

necessary but not sufficient apparently !

actually i think “ life failure ” is an important part of developing a true “ zen ” understanding

necessary but not sufficient apparently !

actually i think “ life failure ” is an important part of developing a true “ zen ” understanding

necessary but not sufficient apparently !

“ Silence your mind ”

mind your silence !

“ Your claims about Zen arenʼt grounded in reality ”

“ reality ” isnʼt grounded in zen

if you donʼt like good music or canʼt respect a virtuoso, then you are not “ zen ”

if you donʼt like good music or respect a virtuoso, then you are not “ zen ”

people who arenʼt afraid to waste their own time arenʼt afraid to waste yours !

people who arenʼt afraid to waste their own time arenʼt afraid to waste yours

zen is just like anything else, as you gain facility, so will you be able to better express yourself !

there is no magical state of “ being aware ” or “ presence ” whereby you can convey your glory and “ advanced ” state to others

if you canʼt discuss with discernment and knowledge then you are just another of the fucked up waste that the zen system produces and whose fault is that ?

the 7th patriarch blog is private, that is as the owner i object to time wasters like yourself (ed. keysersozen) , but here on reddit zen thatʼs not a condition so your usual happy hunting !

the 7th patriarch blog is private, that is as the owner i object to time wasters like yourself, but here on reddit zen that's not a condition so your usual happy hunting !

another “ zen is treacle ” practitioner !

“ treacle ” is you asking me to explain what you canʼt be bothered to work out and donʼt want to see !

another “ zen is treacle ” practitioner !

capacity calls its own demise

capacity calls its own demise !

capacity calls its own demise ? ! ?

audio

if you look at napoleon heʼs really quite literary

if you look at his quotes they are better than just about anybody else !

thatʼs why so much slack was cut to him after his defeats !

capacity inducts its own defeat !

capacity inducts its own defeat

compassion is some smokescreen for the most atrocious nonsense !

compassion is some smokescreen for the most atrocious nonsense

“ compassion ” is some smokescreen for the most atrocious nonsense !

“ compassion ” is some smokescreen for the most atrocious nonsense

capacity creates its own defeat !

capacity creates its own defeat

because he wasnʼt enlightened !

i mean really he wasnʼt, why do you think he is a favourite of “ dewk ”

“ i dunno man, he seemed to have his shit together. Have you read much of him ? ”

look you are some dull clone who so far being enlightened has a reverse sense of what it is about and pontificate error !

truely enlightened zen masters are far and few between , dahui is another who was not enlightened

joshu on the other hand was !

who calls them a s master, unenlightened idiots like yourself ?

your sort of zen is more con than truth, always hard to get used to the endless dishonest fools

tostono posts with the title ‘ joshu, a total sissy ? ’

a monk asked : what is the substance of the true person ?

joshu replied : spring , summer , autumn , winter

the monk replied : in that case, it is hard for me to understand

joshu replied : you asked about the substance of the true person, didnʼt you ?

tosotno comments : why didnʼt joshu spit on the monk ?

my reply

because unlike you joshu was enlightened

what did joshu do wrong that his dialogues were traversed across the millenia to be faecally commented on by the the likes of you and ewk, bankrupts without any resources of your own pretending to mastery . .

tostono replies

Do you see the sarcasm in the post ?

my reply

did you see the recursion in my post ?

edit : you did select a good dialogue there, “ accidentally ” semantically dense in the translation !

tostono replies : sure

my reply

more faeces from an idiot monster !

calling what is a closed book to you “ open ” doesnʼt get you even to the first page !

sometimes you just weep with the difficulty and stupidity of things !

sometimes you just weep with the difficulty and stupidity of things

“ I donʼt think you can imagine how much pity I have for you right now ”

damaged women have relationships with /marry damaged men !

damaged women have relationships with /marry damaged men

at some point you have to sit back and cease arguing, this is my work, make what you will of it !

at some point you have to sit back and cease arguing, this is my work, make what you will of it

you quote bullshit and your comments are bullshit

no they are not bullshit

they are bullshit²

actually you are sane, just slack and misguided !

whereas quite a few of the others on reddit zen are actually insane

disguised as stupid ! :o)

copy and pasting videos is a good substitute for the thought process ?

pasting videos is a good substitute for the thought process ?

reddit zen

insane looneys

arguing over bullshit

reddit zen

insane looneys

arguing over

bullshit

reddit zen

insane looneys

arguing

over

bullshit

zen

insane looneys

arguing

over

bullshit

capacity calls in its own defeat !

capacity calls in its own defeat

thereʼs only one way to deal with very entitled people — walk away and let them discover the limitations of it

it is disappointing the discovery is so limited !

thereʼs only one way to deal with very entitled people — walk away and let them discover the limitations of it

it is disappointing the discovery is so limited

the universe is unbounded, if you are just going to look in one corner you are not going to get far !

the universe is wide, if you are just going to look in one corner you are not going to get far !

japanese zen is all about social control

they want to control your thoughts, they really do

japanese zen is all about “ social control ”

they want to control your thoughts, they really do

japanese zen is all about “ social control ”

who is madder, the madman or the madman who tries to reason with him ?

who is madder, the madman or the madman who tries to reason with him

who is madder, the madman or the man who tries to reason with him ?

who is madder, the madman or the man who tries to reason with him

“ what do you mean by stamping ”

imposing by force a certain pattern on a material, reddit zenners and zen in this case !

“ what do you mean by ‘ heʼs unpacking a fractal ’ ? ”

ed. of a competent and very autistic programmer giving a somewhat frustratingly roundabout explanation of a solution to a coding problem

the explanation comes from the elaboration of simple terms as per the expansion of a fractal !

when you are doing something, its important to build skills and knowledge at the same time as you do it, not simply just get the job done !

“ although pathogens are destroyed by pasteurization, not all bacteria and their associated enzymes are eliminated ”

huh, store bought milk is not completely “ pasturized ” !

jason w r i t e s

when you take heavy views, you can expect heavy criticism !

my

rephrase

when you give voice to “ heavy views ” , you can expect heavy criticism

or

you can think it but not say it !

i think i learnt to shut up years ago when everything i said seemed to cause a ruckus !

there is no answer

there is no question

there is no answer

there is no question

there is no answer ̱ . . there is no question ̱ ̱ . there is no answer ̲ ̲ there is no question ̱ ̲ ̱

the brain downsizes in socially unstable circumstances !

i have always wondered why “ spiritual teachers ” get so “ cretinized ” by what they do, it must be physiological at base and here is a mechanism !

they meet too many people and there are too many social dynamics at work !

elaine comparone playing scarlatti sonatas on the harpsicord

k. 517

k. 545

“ Any genuine enlightenment experiences/stories you would like to share ? ”

how about non-genuine ?

i was studying such and such a koan and the moon pointed its finger at me

dirty fingernails i cried !

the m o o n s l a p p e d m e !

alcohol causes 6% of cancers of the oropharynx, larynx, oesophagus, liver, colon, rectum and breast

mackowski, like ewk you are attempting to crowbar reddit zen into some image of how you think it should be, but the reality is blocks of granite trying to stamp their images on it

so youʼre just “ stamping ” like the rest !

screens full of tedious bullshit are posted without negative comment (ed. reddtit zen) and people get upset over my four lines of spacing

ye hypocrites !

buddha nature innate potential = toilet paper

BEING achieved as a zen studier = toilet paper

keep wiping your arse !

red = phenols and sweet versus dry are the dimensions of wine

research goes a long way, puts one well above the sugar water sucking common herd !

i have been amazed how a very little alcohol like half a glass of wine a day affects one, seems to knock the mental and physical stuffing out !

men who ask/tell women to smile mean

how can you not smile when i am around !

“ You spit a lot when you speak ”

every drop gold unlike your every word brown faeces !

“ You spit a lot when you speak ”

every drop gold unlike your every word brown faeces !

the usual coleman barks rumi bullshit being promoted by retards who donʼt understand that coleman barks never translated rumi, just used a. j. arberry's translation to spill the most putrid sentimental crap the world has ever seen

you read the wrong stuff, alan watts is wrong !

its fundamental that there is no such thing as “ zenness ” even for joshu and if you read his records with a discerning eye, he is constantly saying that !

jason writes

the man at the farmerʼs market thinks iʼm a strange strange boy for asking him to bring me 3 quarts (ed. 2.8 litres) of heavy cream !

is this messiness, motherʼs losing their sons in war, the endess strife and death, malfeasance, idiocy, incompetence, competence, artistic brilliance the only way we understand infinity ?

But is it faux ?

Is it faux when a newcomer comes to the gym and tries lifting weights ? He stumbled and its clear that heʼs not a weightlifter, but heʼs practicing and trying

my

r e p l y

you have got a deep seated issue with proxying into bad analogies

the poem i wrote remedies the analogy

this is where things get difficult and i say zen really has to be celibate, to escape the proxies takes a lot of introspection and life experience

as the poem says 1 million square miles, how do you cover that ?

you can and you canʼt, but the dia kensho shoves you through !

its a serious business, not playdough !

you canʼt get around the hubricity and are not addressing your basic incompetence, that is not merely do you not understand what zen is about but you are travelling at high speed in the wrong direction, like most of reddit zen . .

the bbc at its best, a video of a polar bear sneaking up on and catching a seal !

jon writes

a sober mind is an intense mind

“ I feel like Iʼm on the flagpole. How do I get off ? ”

faux sincerity with faulty substructure

is your cat in the bag

let it out and all hell breaks loose

the flag pole top is a million miles wide

you are in no danger of falling off !

defensive, hubric, non-factual, what can i say ?

defensive, hubric, non-factual, what can i say

a reddit TwoXChromosomes post, she lives in war zone, blount county alabama !

actually i am beginning to understand the philippines situation a bit more, the total erosion of central power by runaway drug use !

“ Yesterday after work, I stopped to buy laundry detergent and a couple grocery items. I walked to the register doing math in my head for the items in my buggy. I barely registered my surroundings as I was deep in thought and a little tired.

I half-heard someone say, "Smile." but it didn't compute he was speaking to me. Then I heard, "I know that bitch didn't just ignore me." Hearing someone curse in the Wal-Mart line gets my attention 100% of the time. I love shit shows. I looked up. This man is looking me dead in the face.

"Smile," he said.

Normally, if someone says this politely (men and women commonly do this here to both sexes), I oblige and tell them I'm in deep thought. It's quick and it gets them to leave me alone. Everyone gets what they want. It only puts me out a couple cheek muscle movements that I do all day anyhow for work. But if they're rude, I have a default response. "You smile," I replied.

"You're the one walking up with that look on your face. Smile."

"You first," I said. He started shaking his head and telling the cashier how rude I am. He goes outside and I do my polite exchange with the cashier. I apologize, smile at him, and say I don't like when people act that way toward me. Cashier says the guy was a dick.

I'm on my way out to the car with my two bags and I see the guy from the line walking toward me. He's walking with attitude. I'm like, ok, wtf there buddy?? He's seriously crossing the parking lot in a straight line for me with this look on his face like we're gonna have a come-to-Jesus or something. Well, I carry. I was attacked a few years ago and made the decision to help with my anxiety and just in case. I know how to use it, but I've never drawn on anyone or needed it.

This guy isn't running, but he's taking big, deliberate steps and he looks pretty fucking pissed and bowed up, chest puffing. I made the quick decision to take out my ruger LCR .38 special. I didn't draw on him! I just pulled out my piece (edit) from my purse and stuck it in my back pocket. I've never done this before yesterday.

He spun on his heel and walked back to his car. I don't know what I avoided, but I'm glad I did.

----------------------

Yeah, if I hadn't noticed him approaching (luckily, I guess, he was literally waiting for me to come outside) it could've been a different story altogether. When I was attacked in 2012, I never expected it and that was a terrifying situation. I would've never flashed it or moved it into immediate reach if his body language was less aggressive. He didn't look like he wanted me to smile then.

----------------------

I appreciate your responses here. Someone can reach you very fast at 10-15 feet away. At what distance does it become oddly aggressive to a real threat of harm? I've had plenty people approach me while alone in public, and some in a sketchy way (walking up behind me while I pump gas after dark in an otherwise empty station - why I now only get gas during the day or in a crowded lot) but I've never considered myself in danger due to their body language/pace/attitude.

----------------------

but around here (ed. blount county alabama) we get roving meth-heads that will try to pick your lock or get in a window if they think you're sleeping/showering/not home.

----------------------

I know I should've said something first, but it didn't come out at the time. It all felt very out of place and even though I watched him the whole time, I was surprised he was coming at me. Seeing as this is the first time someone's been aggressive like this, hopefully I won't get another opportunity to practice telling someone to stop or ask what the hell they're doing.

2 weekends ago a car full of drunk guys asked me "how much" to get in the car with them and I told them to fuck right the fuck off. There was a brief exchange, not aggressive or threatening, and they left. I was in normal mom-looking jeans and a long sleeved button down! But I felt no need to announce my weapon, draw, or anything like that. They were clearly just stupid drunk.

----------------------

Life experiences.. I was attacked in 2012. A woman burglarized my car, mugged me, hit me with her car, and assaulted me. Aside from that, I've witnessed several assaults in public, during the day, and in crowded spaces.

I didn't go into great detail about what he said inside the store. I was trying to ignore him after my smart ass attempt didn't diffuse like it normally does. He was ranting to the cashier about respect and how women like me don't have any because no one taught them. He was standing by his car waiting for me to come out of the store. The body language, I can't really describe better than I did. I wouldn't say he was charging me because he wasn't running or jogging. It was aggressive. I didn't think he wanted to talk with me or yell at me, he wasn't speaking as he came towards me.

Clenched fists. Long, hard strides. Breathing hard.

My reasoning was if he saw I was carrying he would not continue. I'd prefer to open carry but it makes some people uncomfortable. I do allow my weapon to print if I'm going to be in a particularly shady area. I'd much rather someone see it and change their mind than them not see it and be forced to defend myself. I didn't think I was threatening him as I said nothing and never pointed it at him. I was more than a little uncomfortable. I've had other sketchy situations but nothing like this.

----------------------

Yes. Cashiers, people on the street, complete strangers see you without a pleasant look on your face and tell you some variation of cheer up/smile/why do you look mad or upset. It is very strange to me and I've seen it my whole life. Some are more demanding or less polite than others.

----------------------

He waited outside for me to exit and approached me in a threatening manner. People are mugged and assaulted in this area more than average; it's one of the top 10 most dangerous cities in the US.

it may be that super string theory is just an elaborate way of explaining something that can be explained more simply !

bosnian ? shouldnʼt you be murdering some fourth cousin of a descendant of a man who insulted your great grandfather

ok, so you have run out of fourth cousins ! : o(

bosnian ? shouldnʼt you be murdering some fourth cousin of a descendant of a man who insulted your great grandfather

its a funny thing, even adam tebbe got the message about the dull cretins posing as zen masters for his documentary film “ zen in america ”

he has walked away from the project and feels he is doing much better with a job stacking groceries !

good for you adam !

its a funny thing, even adam tebbe got the message about the dull cretins posing as zen masters for his documentary film “ zen in america ”

he has walked away from the project and feels he is doing much better with a job stacking groceries !

good for you adam !

quality krill oil is even better than fish oil in some respects, contains phospolipids, pharmacy brands seem ok, go for the latest expiry dates, it really does something for the brain !

yeah i think intelligent supplementation can make a huge difference in oneʼs later years, but you have to be cautious and see what works for you !

the secret with zen is only one in a million ever understands so if you are looking for answers amongst the “ hoi polloi ” you are going to waste your lifetime !

unfortunately most zen masters are “ hoi polloi ”

a reddit zen post

A common thing that happens with people who do Psychedelics Is that they develop Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder, there is a forum for it full of people

Itʼs extremely common to develop the symptoms which are : halos or auras surrounding objects, trails following objects in motion, difficulty distinguishing between colors, apparent shifts in the hue of a given item, the illusion of movement in a static setting, air assuming a grainy or textured quality ( visual snow or static, by popular description, not to be confused with normal blue field entoptic phenomenon ) , distortions in the dimensions of a perceived object, and a heightened awareness of floaters, brain fog, and many more

I myself have had problems with these and luckily my brain has been repairing itself over the years

But some people never recover . . . and some of them have flashbacks from their trip for their entire life

A flashback is like a full trip only that it lasts little and it happens when sober

It is a dark world the world of drugs and you donʼt really see this if you are in it

look drugs just produce bullshit artists like yourself

formality and hypocrisy replied : we were born in the land of vain-glory and are going to mount zion where we expect we will receive both praise and honor

why didn’t you enter by the gate that stands at the beginning of the way ?

don’t you know that it is written that : he who does not come in by the door but climbs up some other way is a thief and a robber ?

good quote , i think the numbers get exaggerated, read 50 years, 8, and 30 or 50

koan study is too narrow, the result is crazy stupid people !

koan study is too narrow, the result is crazy stupid people

you are trying to pass on your own disease ?

ed. of koan study

you are trying to pass on your own disease ?

you are trying to pass on your own disease

you are trying to pass on your own disease ?

you are trying to pass on your own disease

“ all things function according to their nature ”

yeah retardation for retards !

when the understanding comes from what is f a k e

what

is

said

is

going to

be

f a k e !

if you are going to spend your life and time calling the authentic “ faux ” then you have a problem !

you donʼt want help, you only want what you think you already know repeated to you !

jon, you just make small changes and try things, itʼs a lifetimeʼs work of slow progression !

you need to talk about what problems you are trying to solve !

yeah your drinking friends drag you back into their emptiness !

the writing is really working for you, hugely different compared to when you started !

hyakujo never lived

the fox never died

the rambling

fools

on reddit zen

pontificate like they

know

something !

the effect of alcohol on the brain and health is like dragging a stone over the edge of a knife, so blunting it !

violence is in the very fabric of being !

violence is in the very fabric of being

zen has the same problem as philosophy, only the highly dense semantic recursion of poetry can express what they are about properly

the endless morons just wank on in the highly semantic pragmatic discursive space of prose thinking they are doing/mean something !

jason w r i t e s

cursed

in my own world

i do not understand

the illusion

of community

the experience of a reddit zenner, an interesting read, maybe he fell in love with her ?

She couldnʼt dial a phone number on a cordless phone.

The buttons were lit with a blue light.

She said something about it.

Tried to get an old man to do it for her. He was too wiley. Calling his girlfriend nobody instead.

I just watched and smiled.

Or did she LET him try after he offered to help ?

I canʼt remember.

He did seem sincere but made a mistake dialing.

I corrected him.

He grunted.

I got the impression he was making inaccurate assumptions.

We three played a card game at the old manʼs suggestion.

They both had hands.

I only picked one card and kept it secret.

When the game was basically over I gave it to the girl.

The King of Hearts

She was sad, remembering the Queen of Hearts.

I reassured her

That card

Was the King.

Then the old man Saw it.

I hope heʼs taken care of her. He scared her before he saw my card.

I saluted him before I left.

He double saluted back with a smile.

I said “ too much ” with a laugh.

Home is where I am.

Her face was despair when I left.

I hope I didnʼt say the wrong thing.

She was like death and happiness.

I donʼt know if I should call. I havenʼt called.

I donʼt know where she is.

I left her my information. Address and name and number.

She seemed almost confused by words at first.

What am I doing ?

The psych ward I stayed in when I told my shrink I planned on killing myself.

Im a capricorn 27

Sheʼs a gemini 22

She showed up a few days later than me

Caught by the police, trying to escape for some reason she may have forgotten

She seemed to have died over and over and over

Forgetting every lie and deception along the way

She tried to climb up and into a building

Then tried the door

Then caught

In Pittsburgh PA

My home town

Apparently she travelled a lot

I miss her I think.

Or was she so subtle I just canʼt remember ?

Staring back into her eyes was like a happy death.

Why did I leave ?

I donʼt know if I want to do any thing.

I told someone recently

I think I tend towards psychotic depression

She tends toward psychotic mania

Coffee for me

Tea for her

Me me me

my

c o m m e n t

that thread is an excellent bit of writing !

you will survive better celibate, with her it would be doom !

young women that age can use their bodies to get what they need to survive, interestingly lana del ray lived like that in her younger years !

gives her music more depth than a shallow middle class life experience would indicate !

her downfall is her trashy diet !

----------------------

i think you looked at yourself objectively in the end and walked away deliberately from a disastrous, potentially suicidal relationship with her !

that is you showed a lot of life sense when it came to the crunch !

what took me a while to get was you asked the old man to look after her and apparently he accepted that charge !

it was in a different way, love !

you are both too damaged

as i say, celibacy

for

you

her,

well

the maw of life eats her !

: o(

you read junk so you just spew junk, its beyond retarded !

you read junk so you just spew junk, its beyond retarded

zakaj, you really should look into your history, for your mothers generation it could be lethal to say what you think !

i notice you younger east europeans seem to have complete cultural amnesia about life under the various soviet style dictators and governments!

form does not substance make !

form does not substance make

outside sense and nonsense

the

fool

wardles

outside sense and nonsense

the

fool

wardles ! : o(

pretending has got you so far, why hasnʼt it got you any further ?

pretending has got you so far, why hasnʼt it got you any further

in his old age and probable madness

stalin wrote letters

to friends he had had executed many years before

sometimes i feel like that !

in his old age and probable madness

stalin wrote letters

to friends he had had executed many years before

sometimes i feel like that

in his old age and probable madness

stalin had written letters

to friends he had had executed many years before

sometimes i feel like that !

in his old age and probable madness

stalin had written letters

to friends he had had executed many years before

sometimes i feel like that

people are not plastic

they canʼt be argued out of

incompetence into competence

or nonsense into sense

people are not plastic

they canʼt be argued out of

incompetence into competence

or nonsense into sense

in town

feeling down

the