chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to them with the eyes closed
persistence is the only truth
that is, if you persist, you will find it
a lifetime barely covers the ground
persistence is the only truth
that is, if you persist, you will find the truth
a lifetime barely covers the ground
reasoning can be wrong
but practical experience never is, though it can be misinterpreted
what we call morality is really consequences
the only way you can de-grief your life is to remove what causes grief
at some point you can’t do that
martin bryant had no boundaries
but was too mentally retarded
to understand the consequences
when those who kept him in line
his father and lover died
he lost the plot
ed. responsible for the port arthur massacre in tasmania
a lack of boundaries can be a problem with very good intelligences
because really there are no boundaries, only consequences
i don't have any boundaries but i am scared shitless
of the torture and slow dying prison is
execution by poor diet
and
the
constant
stress
of
the
malignity of
the
othe
other
inmates
a lack of boundaries can be a problem with very good intelligences
because really there are no boundaries, only consequences
i don't have any boundaries but i am scared shitless
of the torture and slow dying prison is
it's the cycle through depression to mania that gives a lot of intellectual strength
it's the cycle through depression to mania
fruitless, empty and leaves a bad taste
that's a correct perception of life i guess
being in love is like freefalling forever,
there's no reference point
being in love is like freefalling forever,
there's no reference point
some problems
can't be handled by complete avoidance,
but by taking limited damage
love is a blurring,
not an abatement of identity
what i mean
is there is some abatement
against which love
looks pretty paltry
life is just the usual problem,
a billion acres of culturally received crap
that has to be unwound
god is a product of the mediocrity of human thought
the trouble with education is it's mired in the second rate
there's something
very depressing about pornography,
the same as prostitution,
a murderous depersonalisation
by the time i die
i might have worked out
how not to spill my blood
and have others lap it up
in everything i do
by the time i die i might have worked out how not to spill my blood
and have others lap it up in everything i do
no task is ever mindless,
they all endlessly intricate
if you look for it
no task is ever mindless, they all endlessly intricate if you look for it
if something can't be changed, there's no point in unnecessary aggravation
the big problem with work
is getting something back
more than the money
which is usually not very much
the big problem with work is getting something back more than the money
which is usually not very much
most people are intellectually completely unadventurous
timorous and cowardly when it comes to anything new
too soft on themselves
we are all victimised by the shape of our brains
better my work go unread than become swill for the swine
the problem with skipping
on the amount of attention
needed by health and wellness issues
is that it's not death that is the road out,
but slow and painful
and humiliating incapacitation
yeah i'm unstable, you are the stable one
so i have to back off a lot of what i think etc.
and just let it all wash out in an even amicable way
the clever have sharp teeth
to shred the intelligent,
which unfortunately
is an old story
heart is in what you do,
it's not that you do something with heart
all the phonies
do things with heart and compassion
while being very many miles away from it
the wall of heaven is the the impassable barrier to eternity beyond
only it's a bit more porous and passable than it seems
we are of that wall and also of that porosity and passiblity
true intelligence involves stepping into zones of emotional discomfort,
ratbag humans just bounce from one zone of failed emotional comfort to another
what can look like sweetness or generosity
is the hardship of necessity
what can look like sweetness or generosity is the hardship of necessity
the masses and their minders read what suits them,
an inquisitive and subtle intelligence
is such an unusual thing
all i have to do is stop stirring the pot and bite my tongue occasionally and just let things go on under their own momentum
there is a lot of power in seeing how things are without needing them to be a certain way
the trouble with love is it wants them to be a certain way
start something before it begins
that is, starting to do something before you begin it proper
getting some early practical feedback basically
what is the point of jealousy if you are not prepared to make up the shortfalls that the object of the jealousy is meeting?
men can have a shock as women approach menopause, like a really nasty shock as the hormones change and they don't put up with so much, that is, they become more like men
females have a loyalty to sex and not the person that males can find hard to understand.
just play the patience game and you will win
something not being wrong is very far from being right
one can love , but its a brutal process and its helpful to be a couple of moves ahead of the lover which can happen if they make a mistake and you put the work in
even in the strongest love there is always an element of a lack of requition
stupidity is quite an active process and requires some degree of intelligence, it is so thorough about removing what would defeat it
the tyranny of the talentless
it takes real talent to go for the unglamorous, the talentless always go for the pretty
sophistication is understanding of the human condition and the ability to do the intelligent option
(eileen prunster)
when dealing with schizophrenics, its best to keep as much distance as is possible
poetry is to english as diamond is to glass
the quality of politicans is usually not better than what votes them in, sometimes it can be
with anything real you cannot see the way ahead
theres no grief like a lost love or anything more painful than to see someone falling out of love with you
there is an identity condition of infinity with the temporal but it speaks for itself and those who don't, won't or can't hear it, blubber away with the usual infantile religious crap
nostalgia seems such an intrinsic sign of mental decay
spam will exist until the ratio of response drops to represent a considerable economic cost
mediation is a mechanical analogue of self reflection
self reflection however has no context and is not mechanical
zazen, satori and zen are mechanical analogues
i don't love american culture, kitschy, aggressive, ignorant and boorish
eileen: now i really know what bittersweet is
andrew: the flower that evaporates in the hand
there is a sort of sex of the soul, seeing someone directly
savancy: an extraordinary skill only matched by it's pointlessness
the purpose of zen is to kneecap the brain, which it does very well
its a world that shits on quality
our lives wear away on futilities
there is a lot of thuggishness and brutality in mediocre views
autistic spectrum is an adaptation and new forming of function in a different brain
tho it seems something like permanent crucifixion, its part of the solution, not the problem
the stuff i write is of eternity, not the puling ronald macdonald fandom that americans seem so enamoured of
grammar is inherent in the brain, in reality there is no grammar
beyond the understanding of what is written
the evolutionarily assigned role for the male is a beast of burden for
the female who is herself a beast of burden for her offspring
the human brain is full of an emotional veneer that disguises this
being right is a process, not an endpoint
notions of god are intrinsically limited
because if there is god then you also have to have a concept of god's
justice for humans
since obviously there is none, then you have to develop the fiction of
heaven and hell to make sense of the injustice of the world
so i will step away from the atheist viewpoint that says there is no
god and say instead there is god but its a limited notion
eileen : “so i will step away form the atheist viewpoint that says there is no
god and say instead there is god but its a limited notion” would u mind expanding on what u mean by this? do u mean god is a notion or do u mean there is a god but not as imagined by some
Andrew : “there is god but its a limited notion”
Andrew : you can't break the meaning apart of those words
Andrew : which is what essentially poetry is, you can't break the sense apart from the words
if you teach something, it completely destroys your sense of what you are teaching
all the tears from here to infinity don't mean a thing
imagine a man in a room with ten thousand pieces of blank paper stacked high
he takes one from the top and starts writing in pencil
he does this until all the paper is written on, then he takes the first
one he started with, rubs it out and starts writing again
his name is life
have i disrupted the fatuous emotional haze of waiting at the end of time?
'waiting at the end of time' is a passive fatalism tucked up in comfy emotions to avoid feeling the icy hurricane one is swept up in
its a common maladaptive response to deep injury
a leaf in a stream, where is it going?
the decay of aging alters all perspectives
christine from PA
so proud so stupid
so american
why do turds outshine thier brains?
the hunting of the snark is quality, schrodingers cat and douglas adams are crap
why fart when you can smell of a rose?
autism is both dead and alive and therefore quantum
most mental health professionals are disguised schizophrenic's, safer
to be that side of the system than the other
just because you have a leak, doesn't mean you have to sink the ship
the years sweep away under our feet
where is god in quantum uncertainty?
'they see an inch and think it's a mile'
an old man turned up at the gates of hell
the chief devil looked him over and said "jesus you look in bad shape,
what happened?" (they swear a lot in hell for obvious reasons)
the old man said, alzheimers, pancreatic cancer and parkinsons
there upon the chief devil said the magic words "fucking shit" and the
old man was changed into a young one
he said "i thought this was hell"
the chief devil said
that's so you can age all over again
love is working productively together, you want to weight that more when you worry about me and my attachment
if you have to go an extra mile its cause you don't get there without going the extra mile
god is objective truth
what you know about something has to be balanced with how useful it is to know it............
the nature of blind is you can't see, and not seeing that we are blind is part of the blindness, life is mostly leaving old areas of blindness to go into new ones and ultimately discovering we never left the old ones
women unfortunately cannot call a spade a spade. instead you get a three page essay on 'like a spade'
i'm getting used to women, anything they disagree with translates to me having a problem
the female condition, afraid to be afraid, but afraid not to be afraid
in fact life has a sort of inverted topology whereby what is imagined
to be interior and not exposed is out there to see anyway
let people go thier own way
bite off more than you can chew and you get chewed
everyday a million miles to travel
in all directions
but the old brain and frame can no longer keep up
death overtakes
what is man
naught but a dream
mirrored on itself
theres no innocence in being gullible, it's just slackness looking for easy pickings.
a forum thread from hermitageheart.org, photo by john loori
crying
some sadness of beyond death here
u need the red to live
its in this photo and conveys the nature of red quite well even if it doesn't conform to what red should be by theory but i have learnt to go on observation and not theory :o)
the nature of red may not change but it sure has different forms most of which i could do with out because of their painfully erosive nature
Anna S. wrote, what do you mean "u need the red to live?"
my reply:
red is what everything revolves around
i guess i am speaking of 'beyond death'
which is not a lot of fun actually
u need the red to live
but its not an answer per se like 'oh i have the red'
more just being aware of the turbulent stream we are caught in
the outcomes of aging are pretty ghastly
love and hate are human dreams that are never untangled in our short lives
the sea is wisdom
life is death
and death is life
literal or non literal
literal
i use jesus and buddha for lavatory paper
we get a little beauty in life, precious little and then its over
when you go down a road again and again you notice its characteristics
solitude shows
what groups don't know
sight and blind
one of the secrets of life is not to hang too hard onto things and see if it hangs there by itself................
u need to steer by the pole stars of yourself
answers are just new questions
empty eons
passing the time
dead time
I have a single potential
It can be seen in a solitary twinkle
If you still don’t hear me
I call the acolyte and ask him.
by Xiangyan (9th century?)
my reply
there is no single potential
apart from complexity
and simplicity
the fundamental oscillation
claims and reality
never shall together be
except in eternity
sometimes it's easy
sometimes it's hard
sometimes the moon
comes down in shards
plants that grow up in the shade of the oak
will never overtake it
the blue cliff record, case 3
great master ma was sick.
the abbot asked him
how has your health been in recent days?
ma replied
sun face buddha
moon face buddha
my reply
yeah unfortunately
a full moon on a clear tasmanian night
how cold
my survival is at stake
i want to watch the beauty forever
but i will die
when reading the blue cliff record,
just go for the case
the rest is junk
though sometimes
there can be good stuff
in the commentary
but that is stuff the compiler is quoting,
the compiler himself is a bit of an idiot.
too long in that tasmanian moon,
i need some sun to survive.
don't expect largeness of mind in a woman.
through truthfulness and giving may there be some living
stones and streams are a dream
wherein i would lie until i die
Rita came up on icq last night
splattered like a sparrow hitting a window pane
an angry blur of feathers
and then flew off again
emp - ty
richo - che
bang bang bang
kirshnamurti's dead
the jackals still pick out his eyes
crunch up his head
but he is still dead
males that don't meet female expectations
get deigned for eviscerations
depression is palpable
the fish rakes run
ruining a blue sea
depression is palpable
the fish rakes run
ruining a blue sea
a diamond's sparkle
is not big or small
long or short
but just as it ought
a diamond's sparkle
is not big or small
long or short
but just as it ought
the muse
vacates
and arrives
according to its own schedule
the muse
vacates
and arrives
according to its own schedule
star light
star bright
first star i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
have the wish i wish to night
ed. this is a well known nursery rhyme that i like
rata tat tat
ass in a hat
i'm so high
the moon looks low
uh oh
oh i am dying
oh i am dead
the moon's come down
crashed in my head
rata tat tat
ass in a hat
i'm so high
the moon looks low
uh oh
oh i'm dying
oh i'm dead
blow me down
knock off my head
insight unto insight springs along the way
murder in the evening
brutality in the day.
note, the proper version is in manawa (auckland zen society magazine) i think,
will have to look up a back issue to get it
things long forgotten
toi-toi on a lakes edge
a metalled road and (paddlocked)? gate
folding unfolding
things long forgotten
toi toi
a metalled road and gate
the lap of waves on a lakes edge
unbending road, what do we say?
existing because it can
constrained by possibility
strung between is and is not
curled within the vastness of inconceivability
enwrapt outside the universe
what do we say?
unbending road
what do we say?
curled within
the vastness of inconceivability
existing because it can
enwrapt outside the universe
constrained by possibility
strung between is and is not
what do we say?
religion is flypaper for hypocrites
rain on roof —
eyes laden
delicious
day black dropped
- dusk sky -
an hour -
wealth for the poorest
tui song
perched on a cloud
a tui singing -
dulcet drops
heaven fallen
noontide sun
foaming around my feet
white cottonwood branches
half lit in yellow
scouring the sky
boats bow wave
slicing a tender sea
a dolphin glints
glass frozen
macrocapa tree
standing against the sky
a soft green stream
washing through banks of blue
split the sun
spill its fire
flames of ice!
sitting on a cliff top
absorbed by the sea
bush
white flecked -
manuka flowers
clock click
stills
pull the sky
through a star
punch
the moon
inside out
invaginate
the sky
slitting eternities throat
sheep shit for roses
ashes in the urn
how real is real ?
ashes in the urn
how real is real?
black white grey
partiality solidify's things
walking into the dissolving dust
sky the blue in hieroglyphs
green streams of obscene dreams
aeons burst in a yellow star glow
purling, spinning
weaving dreaming
suchness seems
in likeness of these
i was looking at strawberries in the supermarket
and a child grabbed my shopping list exercise book
from the bottom of the empty trolley
he sorta hung over the side holding it
and we looked at each other,
i took it back.
his mother turned up,
told him to stop it or something,
i wondered wether he was autistic
so i said
( it's dusk as i am writing and the sea is sorta a dull blue in the distance )
