this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !



these


pages


are


the same theme


as


the


death


of


emil


nobel


death


and the inversion


of


effect


between


intention


and result
















what


is


omnipotent ?


“all


powerful”


can


one


be


some


things and not others


is


all


powerful


everything ?


must it


be


everything


to be all


powerful ?


is


it itself ?


are there some things which it is not ?


is


it


also


not all powerful ?
















what


do


i


mean


by


genius?


is


it


clever


or


the ability


to recognise


our stupidity




probably a bit


of


both
































if


you


have


seen


the


extreme


you


have


seen


the extreme


its


not


going


to


be


worse


i


have seen


too


many


extremes
















when


dealing


with


twits


and


malevolent


trolls


just


walk


away


and


look


gracious
















travellers


please


tell


our


brothers


we


died


for


them




  epitath  of  simondes
















intensity


comes


once


though


looked


for


it


cannot


be


repeated
















two


contradictions


can


be


true
















god


is


not


omnipotent


of


god
















sex


is


pain
















the


devil


you


know


might


be


better


than


the


devil


you


don't




or


it


might


not


be


;o)
















a little thought experiment



an


eskimo


from


100


years


ago


put


in


a


modern


city


and


expect


him


to


adjust


we


all


have


the


same


problem


as


we


get


older
















theres


no


answer


because


theres


no


question
















men


are


more


diluted


than


women




not


as


intense


a


being
















those


that


need


to


weep




weep
















women are


basically


ungovernable


except


through


love


of children



and



even


then ..............
















on the net


theres


10%


raving


certifiable


lock


up


loonies




80%


deadbeat


stupid


dumbs




9%  not


quite


stupid


dumbs




1%


a


bit


better


than


that
















women


veracious


vaginas




men


dorky


dicks




yes


mr. men


&


little


miss
















you


can't


change


the


weather



the


weather


can


change


you
















everything


has


a


raw


edge


it


is


always


falling


apart
















it


is


painful to


be


a


genius


in


a


world


of


jackasses
















do


not


fret


time


waiteth


for


every


man
















i


think


women


feel


life


more


keenly


than


men


but


in


an


unconcious


or


unreflecting


way
















couples


need


to


be


a


bit


in


awe


of


each


other


for it


to work


and


if


not


in awe


at least appreciative


of the skills


of


the other


in


order


for


it


to work
















“all


that


I


have


written


seems


like


straw


to


me”


thomas aquinas


yes thomas


it is


all


straw


why did you waste your time


writing


such rubbish?
















lies


are


a


part


of


truth


just


as


much


as truth


that


includes


lies


by


omission
















untruths


are


not


necessarily


lies


but


lies are


a type


of


untruth


the


truth


is


not


complete


without


lies


and


untruths
















some


poems


are


good


for


what


they


don't


say


as


much


as


for


what


they do


say
















i


am


changing


i


don't


know


who


i


am


but


i


never


knew


who


i


was
















there's


an


intensity


and


power


to


adhd


but


it


doesn't


persist


very long


thats


the


weakness


which


can


be exploited
















how


many


non


life's


are


there


in


a life?
















if


there


is


such


a thing


as


enlightenment


its


a


bloody


long


time


coming


i


can tell


you
















the


thing


about


john


of


the cross


is


he


was


hunted


down


by


the


order


he


founded




makes you think




in


the end

















i


don't


think


wisdom


literature


can


be


righter


than


half


right


otherwise


it


would


be


infinity


which


its


not
















basically


if


you


try


to unite


philosophy


with


physics


which


is


what


the unified


theory


tries


to


do


you get


into


the


problem


of


the untrue
















very


masculine


men


are


not


that


keen


on


women
















there


is


no


unified


theory


because


a


unified


theory


cannot


include


itself


n, n+1


lol


they


will


be


looking


forever


that


is


the unified


theory
















some


people


agree


with


you


some


people


disagree


with


you


some


people


want


to


kill


you


yeah!
















the


whole


point


of watching


a


movie


trailer


on the


net


is


to


innoculate


yourself


against


going


to


see


it


i


don't


know


“avatar”


needed


much innoculating


against
















      margaret cavendish


“The foure principall Figur'd Atomes make


the foure
Elements, as Square, Round,


Long, and Sharpe.”


  text


a precursor


to


string


theory?
















trying


to


recover


what


cannot


be


recovered
















the luminaries


of


the


catholic


church


are


john


of


the cross


and


teresa of


avila


if


you


think


they


are


thomas


aquinas


and


st augustine


you


are


wrong
















catholicism and


schizophrenia


go


hand


in


hand


i


suppose


thats


true of any religion


or


“spiritual”


path
















sometimes


i


just


feel


depressed


for


no


reason


except


i feel


depressed
















in choosing a lover


women tend towards preferences


and conditioning their choice
















its hard to explain


but just because one writes poetry oneself


doesn't make one a good judge of poems


can take me a while to see the light if its there
















affection


is


like


a


raging


carnivore
















i was thinking of karen's death, some things that only her and i know, like her susceptibility to telephone sales and buying things and services she couldn't afford


or the jeweller who robbed her of valuable jewellery she had valued


or the trouble i went to with copper rods and liquid nitrogen to freeze melanomas




all gone


i


am


the


only


person


that


knows


now




what meaning


is there in


this?




none
















age


doth


weary


them


it


certainly


wearies


me
















from my own working experience working your arse off is a suckers game


and being good people just use you


while kicking you actually
















thats


the


problem


with


physics


it


concerns


its


self  with


what


is


true


quantum


physics


edges


a


bit


into


what


is untrue


but


it


is


also


concerned


with


what


is true


poor


einstein!


no


wonder it


upset


him


god


not


with


standing


:o)
















we


take


true


as


conformance


to


the real


but


thats


the


limitation


of


true


conformance


to


the real


is


the notion


of


true


limited?


YES


roll


on


true


and


untrue
















poetry


is


partly


 fictional



get


it?
















another


day


another


death


threat


you


wouldn't


think


people


get


so


upset


over


poetry




i'm


just


expressing


myself


man
















its


been


my


uniform


experience


across


the


web


that


if


you


tell


people


something


useful


all


you


get


is


resentment




the


only


protection


is


avoidance
















a


lot


of


what


i


write


is


semi


 synthetic


it


doesn't


 necessarily


 correspond


to


the


real


world


that


well
















the


mentally


slow


think


themselves


fast


thats


part


of


being


mentally


slow
















the


level


of


open


injury


that


is


normal


to


living


is


so


horrific


that


if


it


was


seen


directly


the


world


would


freeze
















the


more


i


see


of


the


net


the


more


i


think


99.99%


are


toads
















i


think


life


is


a strong


moving


stream


and


thats


the


problem
















everybody


remembers me


because


i


am


the union


of memory


with


infinity




so


why


shouldn't


i


be


remembered?
















i


think


constructing


images


is


a fundamental


process


of


being


human


if


we


don't


do


that


there


is


nothing


and


we are


uncomfortable


with that
















its


the separation


of


male


and


female


that


is


the


decrement


of


intelligence
















this is already


the end time


the world is


dumbing


down


and


its


going


to get


worse


not


better
















its


interesting


how


we


normalize


on the


world


we


construct


as


children


and retain this


for


the rest


of


our


life




in


fact it's


all very strange


and


remains


so
















in reality if you have had any artistic experience there is always a strong element of the synthetic in anything you do
















you


are


extremely


attention


deficit


when


it


comes


to


what


you


don't


want


to


do
















i


think


that


what


is


unusual


about


the


david


bain


trial


where


unequivocally


david


did


the


deed




but


those


who


would


feel


the


loss


of


a


loved


one


keenest


were


dead


in


short


the


one


most


injured


was


the


only


one


left


alive!
















the


only


purpose


of


incarcerating


people


is


to


prevent


them


killing


again


and


as


a


deterrent.


in


terms


of


remedy


or


avenging


the


death


of


a


loved


one


it


is


meaningless


and


they


may


as


well


walk


free
















lovers


can


be


a


bit


of


a


commodity


to


women
















toni


packer


had


an


attempt


on


her


life


i


can't


think


of


any zen


master


who had


except


perhaps


being


fucked


to death


the real


is


not


permitted


to live
















lying flat


on


my face


breathing heavily


unable to move


a


sort


of


calm


from


the


pain




paralyzed


by


migraine
















except


for


the


pessimism


i


am


basically


optimistic
















i


remember


i


then


remember


what


i


forget


god
















if


theres


an


afterlife


for


humans


theres


an afterlife


for


ants


theres


no


afterlife
















education


is


a


conspiracy


by


the aged


to cripple


the young


before


they


become


dangerous
















zen is a fiction


honestly


its just


brain


damage


like


everything else
















theres


nothing


like


getting


migraine


for


killing


your


appetite


for


sex
















michael


considering your catholic education


and


interest


why


have


you


never looked


at


those


luminaries


of


the catholic


church


john


of


the


cross


or


teresa of avila?




but involve yourself


in that


templar crap?




i'll


tell you


why


because


to understand


those


two


you


have


to involve your life


and change


your behavior
















you


are


at


the


first


stage


of


reading


a


poem


and


you


may


react


against


what


is


meaningful


in


it
















poetry


is


in


essence

a


form


of


story writing
















nothing happens


things just go


in a circle


until


we


die
















school


is


not education


its


something else


culturally


induced


moronacy?
















one thing


the internet is opening


up


to


me


is how badly i was taught at school
















what


though


the


greedy


fry


die


and


die


the greedy


fry





ben jonson          “an   ode   to himself”            works
















democracy


is


basically


a


working class


movement


 chartism
















the whole framework


of


assumptions


like enlightenment


and transmission


in


zen


are mistaken
















there


are


real


and


mythical


elements


to


any poem
















basically


women


are


involuted


and


men are not
















you'd


be


amazed


at


what


women


think


compared to


what they


admit


they think


or


say they think


;o)
















“fucking


ones


brains


out”


male


and


female


its


literally


true


though


women


seem to fuck


their brains


in
















unrequited


sexual


tension


is


like


a


compressed


spring


that


keeps


one


moving


forward
















the


health


message


boards




an


insane


welter


of




schizophrenics

















“i looked back thro several weeks of messenger history and was really shocked at how much i do go on in a very aggressive way”




well


theres


a


lot


of strength


there


just using


it


to


crush


me


is


not


a good


use


of


resources
















these


poems


are


an


alignment


of


words


to


match


something


in


deep


semantic


space




or


infinity



if


you will
















“selfless service”


theres


those


that


do


it


and


those


that


use


it




generally


they


are


not


the


same


person
















being


a


poet


is


ok


but


the


pay


is


zero




a


lot


of


work


for


nothing
















if


i


was


asked


to


characterise


me


i


would


say


i


was


a


slow


developer


i


came


backwards


from


infinity
















what


is


death


what


is


life


what


is


the


moon?
















its


gifted


of


god


but


god


itself


is


nonsense




do


you


understand


the


difficulty?
















GOD


i


turned


my


computer


off


everything


sounded


empty


the stove


tray


rattled


the


woodheater


crackled




everything


was


empty




a


cyclone


came


in


swept


everything


up


and


dumped


it


out


the


door
















one


long


line


of


words


is


this


a


poem


no


or


yes?
















criticizing


   a


   poem


should


   be


   by


   way


   of


writing


   a


   poem


   in


   reply




   otherwise


   you


   have


   the ridiculous


   situation


   of


   an


   unskilled


   person




   criticizing




   a skilled


   persons


   work
















don't


give


me


too


much


spare


time


it


gets


filled


with


writing




i don't


actually


have


any


spare


time




it


still


gets


filled


with


writing
















you


cannot


shatter


the


female


she


is


impregnable




she


will


die


before


she


shatters

















when


you


read


a


poem


theres


something


said


and


something


not


said


you


have


to


read


very


carefully


to


understand


what


is


not


said.


the


problem


with


not


said




is


that


you


think


it


says


something


it


doesn't
















i


think


at


this


rate


i


can


write


700


poems


a


year!




its


a bit


frightening




maybe


i'll


die


first
















those who


praise


selfless service


are


the


biggest


hypocrites


who


have


never


done


any


but


only


leeched


off


it




if


you


have


ever


done


any


you


know


it


only


brings


you


into


contact


with


the


worlds


biggest


arseholes


and


therefore


you


can't


praise


it
















theres


two


species


of


human


male


and


female