this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed !

infinity is self taught, if you need some-one else as a reference,

you don't know what it's about !

  version  one

infinity is self taught,

if you need some-one else

or an organization as a reference,

you don't know what it's about !

  version  two

the voynich manuscript uses images with their styles

taken from the  drawings  of roger bacon

and ludovico de varthema's  itinerary,

  the text is meaningless !

“ you may be 13 but your soul is  old ”

(3:30  l.a. reid, a man with alot of sense !)

congratulations to jeff foster's facebook page and   “ an  eruption  of grace from my (ed.  jeff's)  dear friend  matt licata.....”

well it's an eruption of something and inspired the following triptych

you can't tell the mentally ill that they are mentally ill

you can't tell  the mentally ill  that they are mentally ill,

they only think that you're the one  that's mentally ill

you can't tell the mentally ill that they are mentally ill,

they only think that you're the one who's mentally ill

you can't tell the mentally ill they are mentally ill,

they only think that you're the one who is mentally ill

the tragedy of stand-up comics is they're not really very funny at all

the tragedy of stand-up comics is they're not really funny

the tragedy of stand-up comedians is they're not really funny

the tragedy of stand-up comedians is they're not really very funny at all

life's a business, it's what you're born into, it's reproduction !

version one

life's a business, it's what you're born into, it's reproduction, a perpetuation of yourself !

version two, reading  one

life's a business, it's what you're born into, it's reproduction, a perpetuation of yourself !

version two, reading  two

life's a business, it's reproduction, it's what you're born into, perpetuation of yourself !

version  three

light at night : o)

bright light at night  stimulates

the brain's limbic system

when it should be resting !

a very good  video  explanation by the researcher

i use red light late at night!

it's interesting that the advaita/neo-advaita/non dual community

form a majority  by the lights of emily dickinson

much madness is divinest sense  ~

to a discerning eye !  

much sense  -  the starkest madness  --

’tis  the majority      

in this, as all, prevail  --

assent  -  and you are sane  --

demur  -  and you’re straightway dangerous  --

and handled with a chain

:

i can state unequivocally that with both the amorphous neo-advaita/non-dual blob and the more anal retentive zen i have always been handled with a chain

i always get sad for the way i am treated, but i wouldn't be authentic otherwise and it's entirely the nature of realities estrangement from infinity
that things are the way they are

neo advaita/non duality and zen are no exceptions,

  schizophrenics

running to the form

of estrangement

: o ) (

well jeff foster cracked and  “deep acceptance”  apparently excludes me and what i say, if you want to read the stuff he banned me for, it's in the next section just below

it's always the same story, words are easy but actions somehow seem to be opposite :o)

jeff foster can't handle the truth and deleted all my posts on his facebook page,

you know how it is when the fake is confronted by the real

jeff, if you had any sense you would be reading my health stuff which is all volunteer,  (ed. he complained about me posting a link to my sleep page )

for all your bullshit writing about  acceptance  you appear to have a lack of any real working and live strongly in denial.

yes, jeff, i know you just sit there with all the health issues like insomnia and back pain and just take draughts of the  deep acceptance    snake oil   you purvey,

folapro, eating more collagen and some fresh sheep fat, copper and zinc and vitamin D as per the  compendium  would never cross your mind !

you are  schizophrenic  from issues like a poor sleeping, i can't say exactly what it is but you will know !

the sleep link was put up for you to read !

jean has real issues with behavior, you are encouraging her nonfunctionality and i am surprised at you wanting to suppress my informed comment!

the  over the top effusive praise  on your facebook  page  would be intolerable to anyone sane, but hey it's all your choice and you make your own way in this world. !

your facebook page and writing are walking schizophrenia and my sleep health link was posted for you to read.

if you can read that bizzare praise of you by jean and not feel ill then you have something to learn

c'mon, let's see the reality of  “the deepest acceptance”  which apparently means banning what you need to hear but you don't want to !

( ed. i got banned and had to read a sanctimonous post about it by jeff to boot and he removed all my posts which   so show the whole thing up !  )

eileen helped me by giving me an overall pic about how bad they were

i honestly have trouble seeing they are all quite insane

it's just surprising to see such a strong concentration of nuts in one place, but that's what the web does !

it's interesting that both jeff foster and brad warner explored the extent to which they  “accept”  with me,  brad took a year and half to ban me,  jeff took 9 weeks !

their reality is bullshit and they have to side with it eventually or truely die to themselves which they are not capable of

jeff worked out well for my basic strategy which is to push these frauds to the point i get kicked off, i'm just so gullible i still half believe them despite all the evidence to the contrary until their actions speak louder than the endless soft stupid bullshit.

brad warner was the disaster area since he took so long to do it, but he was exceptional and won't occur again, he is losing the plot with his huntingtin gene cutting in which explains quite abit about him, unfortunately !

funnily enough i was reading some mary oliver just before jeff revealed the fuckwit he truely is and thinking on the contrast, how mary oliver is the real deal and jeff and that facebook page of the mad is not and all that work they do to shore up the façade is of no benefit to them at all and they could be doing something real

jean,  (ed.  jeff fosters facebook page)  that sort of thing is mentally ill,  over the top praise is both insincere and damaging to the recipient and giver !

jean,  (ed.  jeff fosters facebook page)  that sort of thing is mentally ill, over the top praise is both insincere and damaging to the recipient and giver !

longchenpa's  “ thirty pieces of sincere  advice ”

this gives the flavour of him more,

he's not at all spacy

tho i feel the translation

could be improved

longchenpa's  “ thirty pieces of sincere  advice ”

this gives the flavour of him more, he's not at all spacy
tho i feel the translation could be improved

since everything is only an illusion,

perfect in being what it is,

having nothing to do with good or bad,

acceptance or rejection,

one might as well burst out laughing!

the above is a poor translation of  longchenpa  with my re-translation below !

since everything is only an illusion,

perfect in being what it is,

having nothing to do with good or bad,

acceptance or rejection,

one might as well burst out laughing!

the above is a poor translation of  longchenpa  with my re-translation below !

life always shows itself to be an illusion

an arsehole broken women

i can't avoid being good or bad

i accept and reject as suits

to find the hollow laughter

following me

  an ultra violent koan   : o )

a long time ago in china, zen master joju visited a hermit and asked, “do you have it? do you have it?” the hermit held up his fist. “the water is too shallow to anchor here,” said joju and went away.

later joju met another hermit and asked him, “do you have it? do you have it?” the second hermit held up his fist.

“you are free to give or take away, to kill, or give life,” said joju, bowing to him.

unsatisfied, joju journeyed to a strange land where the sea was the colour of coffee, the hills emerald green and there were red berries everywhere. traipsing up a long path to a cave in a cliff high above the sea he asked the hermit living there “do you have it? do you have it?”

the hermit shoved his fist up joju's nose, knocked him down, slit his throat and tossed the dying joju over the cliff into the sea

joju gurgled though his slit windpipe as he plummeted down, repeatedly bouncing off the cliff face with shattering concussions,  i understand ,  i understand

  an ultra violent koan   : o )

a long time ago in china, zen master joju visited a hermit and asked, “do you have it? do you have it?” the hermit held up his fist. “the water is too shallow to anchor here,” said joju and went away.

later joju met another hermit and asked him, “do you have it? do you have it?” the second hermit held up his fist.

“you are free to give or take away, to kill, or give life,” said joju, bowing to him.

unsatisfied, joju journeyed to a strange land where the sea was the colour of coffee, the hills emerald green and there were red berries everywhere. traipsing up a long path to a cave in a cliff high above the sea he asked the hermit living there “do you have it? do you have it?”

the hermit shoved his fist up joju's nose, knocked him down, slit his throat and tossed the dying joju over the cliff into the sea

joju gurgled  i understand ,  i understand  though his slit windpipe as he plummeted down, repeatedly bouncing off the cliff face with shattering concussions

dani,  (ed. on jeff fosters facebook page)  it's really bad manners to post a translation without crediting the translator who in this case was coleman banks. it's important because coleman banks does not translate literally, but does an interpretation, he's not claiming it's exact rumi, yet you are ! also it's his work and you could at least give him the publicity for that  interpretation !

to the people who flick uncredited translations around like confetti, it's important to understand there is a person between you and what you are claiming is the original source, it's not your property and not your insight and the least you can do is show respect to the work by the translator by crediting, and in most cases, if you see an uncredited quote you like and want to pass on, a quick web search can reveal the translator !

mary oliver with coleman barks,  conversation , 4 august 2001

parenthood, the aged and innocence there is always a mixture of both in that!

parenthood, the aged and innocent there is always a mixture of both in that!

parenthood, the aged and innocence there is always a mixture of both in that!

dave st. germain emailed wondering why i  “chose qingyuan's shoes to steal”  claiming qingyuan was the historical 7th zen partriarch and dosed his missive with some zen crap stories/koans !

my

reply

you are free to muck around in this shit thinking you are doing something meaningful for the rest of your life !

patriarchal transmission is authentic and quite different from the nonsense that gets passed down by certificate

it's the constant sight of buddha

you are just cludging cliches together making a dull nonsense

qingyuan isjust a hack and not a patriarch at all

  the koan involving him in the transmission of the lamp is lame !

now  hanshan is genuine

i'm saying that most zen today is a complete fraud

  you can't accept you don't understand and that's where it stops !

if i say god, i also say  “ what do i mean by that? ”

god recursion   mp3

a photo is like a poem in a way

just because they can write doesn't mean they can think

  reading 1                          reading 2 

  love

is an overworked cliché

flung around like mud pies

to shore up

the heterodox blatherings

of the non dual subculture

 : o)

love  is an overworked cliché flung around like mud pies to shore up the heterodox blatherings of the non dual subculture : o)

love is evol backwards?

love is evol backwards?  : o)

the other side of suicide

it's a different space,

basically severe depression

and an

ultra rational

look at life

the other side of suicide

it's a different space , basically severe depression and an ultra rational look at life

just waiting at the end of time to die

everybody thinks they are right,

but only a small portion are right

and actually we are only right

a small portion of the time ourselves

everybody thinks they are right, but only a small portion are right and actually

jeff, you subscribe to an erroneous theological schematic based on conciousness that is prevelant or even de rigueur in the neo-advaita/non dual subculture, obviously in view of what you have just said you are not going to agree with me, but really what you write and talk is in fact formed along the lines of the belief system about the moment and conciousness etc and is not really your experience at all, but something twisted into a shape that doesn't fit !

i don't know that the terms neo-advaita and non dual actually mean alot , rather it's a subculture that revolves around a group of teachers that attended conferences together, talk on the same shows, web sites etc

you write  “ a miracle, and the crippling suffering and depression I used to experience daily has vanished ”

i'm trying to explain a difference between us, i could say i am happy for you etc. but really i don't care

it's because i am  the other side of suicide,  which is like depressed byond the point of depression, i don't know how to quite explain it, except that i cause upset wherever i go : o)

other people i have seen like this in this area are toni packer and suzanne foxton who also i think are this  “other side”,  you can sorta go where people get freaked without being bothered and move freely and quickly in areas of

life, health, hallucination,
death and sickness

that people normally just get completely bogged in the first steps and get reactive in a way that i have learnt to be very cautious about, even on the net a bit ; o)

by hallucination i mean very different and extreme states of being

so we sorta look from this difference of perspective, you may in fact be the other side but perhaps have never fully accepted it, or your emotional make up is more needy, the trouble is it's so different that (actually i think byron katie and tolle are that way too), it's sort of almost anti-human and you maybe are partly stepped into it, you are really very very abnormal, sort of auden's land of the dead  poem  and when that comes out more in your writing i think you are getting closer to an improved authenticity

jeff foster writes  (snip)

“ who you truly are - consciousness itself -  
does not belong to any religion or spiritual tradition ”

my

reply

   isn't that cliché copyrighted by neo-advaita corp?

there is an energy to writing

what you actually think

and not what some-else thinks,

that's the right energy

and cludging together phrases

of others thinking is not!

i'm quite confident

that jeff foster

is way more interesting

than the neo-advaita/non duality party line

he professes,

why isn't he?

he threshes you to make you stupid

he thickens your husk like an elephant hide

your soul is black from fakery

you can be no more kneaded than concrete !

he makes you a toxic bread

that you can blather advaita bullshit for ever

all these things shall love do to you

so you stay fragmented : o)

      andrew levin the anti-prophet on ...............

men and women need to understand that behaviorally, they are diffferent species

you are not really reading rumi at all with a lot of his supposed quotes around, i would suggest you look at the original persian (if you can find it) and discover how much what are  purported  rumi translations are in fact a sort of
demented new age or neo-advaita political correctness
completely devoid of the textual cross references and multilayering
that made rumi so well known in his time : o)

i know neo-advaita and new age are not into doing anything for real, (ed. addressed to commenters on jeff foster's facebook page) but try reading  this  and do some research to try and recover some of the cultural context, it will give you an idea of how divorced from what was originally written
a translation becomes

my opinion of this rumi quote

  there is a voice that doesn't use words. listen.

rumi is more textured and acidic than that,
that quote is just some candy floss pretending to be a translation of him

it is abit spacy, really missing 90% of the original texture and cast wrong

i have attempted a sort of correction, but who knows?

the stream of life has a wordless speaking, surely we can hear?

it would be easy if there was some simple formulaic expression of what this work about and one could just just toss those vapid misunderstandings called rumi quotes into the void forever and have done something meaningful, but alas the fire of infinity is in your own creativity and not in complimenting junk food : o)

now  there's  some rumi i like

i've noticed that people in so called fringe religions like advaita and zen

tend to be very medically conventional in their approach to health problems

and they pay the price  : o (

the stream of life has a wordless speaking, surely we can hear?

the stream has a wordless speaking, surely we can hear?

let it be known that solitude is the only mercy and only lover

ignus  fatuus  (1:30)

bearing with hurt is of course  the enlightened state  : o )

people , their whole lives are so much trouble and they want more !

my brain has more holes than swiss cheese : o), you have to supplement and eat intelligently, if you don't do this the suffering accelerates as you get older!

there's aheap to do, for instance fish oil is helpful!

jeff, pay attention to this too, once we get past 40 we start to lose genetic and hormonal  “ protective factors ”  and it all starts to crowd in

my  write  up on what saved my butt, doesn't matter how enlightened you get, if you brain fails, everything just gets worse, real people like john of the cross and john keats had very sucky painful ends : o)

the brain can repair to an amazing extent if it's not malnourished and swimming in toxins : o)

fine sounding words and phrases don't fix anything : o )

the mark of the beast 666 or 616

are the greek and latin  gematriations

respectively

into hebrew

of  nero

but this in fact really referred to domitian,

likely the the current ruling emperor

when the original author of the the book of revelations wrote,

who it would have been too dangerous to refer to directly

domitian had also been regarded

as a reincanation of nero

in the eastern portion of the roman empire

he was one of the great roman emperors

and quite autistic

his father and brother

led the legions

that destroyed jersualem

hardly

any

mystery

superlative wisdom falls from your lips

in ashimmering cascade

like the hushed dew drops in the morning light

on the spears of sparkling grass

    flashing with the sun's first fires : o)

superlative wisdom falls from your lips in ashimmering cascade like the hushed dew drops in the morning light on the spears of sparkling grass
flashing with the sun's first fires : o)

i wonder if facebook

creates a certain sort of hubris

 for the owner and posters?

a sort of unreal decoupling

where any nonsense can be said and applauded

 by semi functional schizophrenics?

jeff my own experience

with any sort of writing

is to use it to extend into new areas,

you should be

slightly different

after writing apost than before,

i feel you are just turning in circles

and want to be wary

of the false hubris and applause

that facebook seems to encourage

i wonder if facebook creates a certain sort of hubris for the owner and posters? a sort of unreal decoupling where any nonsense can be said
and applauded by semi functional schizophrenics?

jeff my own experience with any sort of writing is to use it to extend into new areas, you should be slightly different after writing apost than before, i feel you are just turning in circles and want to be wary of the false hubris and applause that facebook seems to encourage : o)

jeff,

( ed. foster on listening to him talk

about his awakening experience

  at his parents in his old bedroom )

i wonder if you had some childhood experience

you got in touch with again?

i think there is a necessity

of a childhood awakening experience

wether remembered or not,

it's not possible as adult

for the brain to be changed enough

for that sort of thing to occur

if something similar

   hasn't occurred before !

jeff,  (ed. foster on listening to him  talk (1:10)  about his awakening experience at his parents in his old bedroom)  i wonder if you had some childhood experience you got in touch with again? i think there is a necessity of a childhood awakening experience wether remembered or not, it's not possible as adult for the brain to be changed enough for that sort of thing to occur if something similar
   hasn't occurred before !

  space and time are  constructs  : o )

  space and time are constructs  : o )

huh, lewis carroll's (charles dodgson)

break up with the liddells

was caused

by his opposing successfully

a ball to be held at christ's college

by an aristocratic family friend of the liddells,

francis  needham , 3rd earl of kilmorey

   who knows what his motivation is opposing it was  ; o )

   sounds a bit  plaintive  to me  : o )

who are you  you arsehole?

i'm

me

     fuckwit  : 0)

  skip james    sings    crow jane

but he also writes this sort of  thing

“ though every way i try  

 his whim to satisfy,

his every answering word

 is a pointed sword.

see how the blood drips

 from his finger-tips;

why does he find it good

  to wash in my blood? ”

a  rumi  quote

  you are so pitiful.  let grace be.

the ocean cares for each wave

until it reaches the shore.

my

reply

and then it breaks them

and throws them on the dry sand

to founder and gasp as they disappear,

all the while thinking

   they are significant and mean something  : o)

if you read the quote, it says  until it reaches the shore,

that's quite masterful in that it leaves another poem unspoken,

i have simply spoken in my reply what rumi left unspoken : o)

my retranslation

we are cot cases

do we have to be forced to abandon what has already gone?