this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed !

it's not in the day or the wind at night : o) :o(   :o( : o)

it's not in the day or the wind at night : o( :o)   :o) : o(

it's not in the day or the wind at night : o)  :o(

it's not in the day or the wind at night

Ho man, i'm wound up like an atomic clock ! : o )(

it must be  migraine  prodrome time :o(  )

Ho man, i'm wound up like an atomic clock ! : o )(

driving in haste doesn't pay, to gain or save five minutes, you increase your probability of an accident by 10 or one hundred or one thousand times

driving in haste doesn't pay, to gain or save five ten minutes, you increase your probability of an accident by 10 or a hundred or a thousand times !!!!!!

driving in haste doesn't pay,  to gain or save five minutes,  you increase your probability of an accident by 10 or a hundred or a thousand times !

driving in haste  doesn't pay,   to gain or save five or ten minutes, you increase your probability of an accident by 10 or a hundred or a thousand times

how can a six year old write anything sensible compared to an adult ?

how can an adult write anything sensible compared to a six year old !

six is the peak of human intelligence and they have an inquiring mind whereas adults have been intellectually downsized into reproductive robots !

how can a six year old write anything sensible  compared to an adult ?

how can an adult write anything sensible compared to a six year old !

six is the peak of human intelligence  and they  have an inquiring mind whereas adults have been intellectually downsized into reproductive robots   !

harry's  daughter  ( 6yo ! )   said

Dust.

When you don't clean up

it makes itself.

my  comments

well that's better than anything dogen said :o)

i think sheis talking about voynich, she's way too clear and insightful to be a zen master :o)

harry  replies

Ho-hum. How predictably  zen  of you

my

  reply

ho hum how un-insightful a parent you are :o(

when you can see your six year old daughter is streets ahead of you in understanding, then you can claim to begin to understand zen :o)

I actually like what she wrote and think it has some meaning you might well pay attention to given your accumulation of voynich dust and the burden you carry of having to appear to know something even tho it's just the coughing  (ed.  that's being polite, i would like to have written  spewing   :o)   of fluff balls :o)

it's all at the wrong end of alife, twenty thirty years ago it would have had that intensity and ignorance to make it different

it's all at the wrong end of alife, twenty thirty years ago it would have had that intensity and ignorance to make it different : o()

“ families break up when people take hints you don’t intend and miss hints you do intend ”

a freshly killed snake can still be dangerous ! :o) (

that's some  reflex   : o)

well I think mr.  cranky  is pointing out today's dilemma, marvelous technical sophisticationcombined with absolute bilge as content :o)

like  “avatar” , not one iota of redeeming content :o(

whereas adolf  wölfli  was ahead of Escher :o)

doesn't really  work  imo, too empty, not enough action :o)

well i watch videos to be entertained, not educated :o), I don't think that's a bad philosophy : o)

the problem is to mix entertainment with a subtle message, all the best work has that, the music was abit loud and I didn't like whatever was used in the first part, but when I looked at the end , that was effective

successful films/videos must be a collaborative effort I feel, like this  guy  I felt was good,

(on invite only which he seems to change, he does have an alcohol/substance abuse issue I think :o)

but won't make the dual entertainment/deeper theme grade which is imo where it's at .........:o)

being zen trained I know you will take this in the spirit of constructive criticism I hope :o)

i do have some wanna be lives, film critic and gossip columnist being amongst them and surprisingly, NOT a zen master or writer : o()

actually it's interesting about zen, no-one asks themselves wether what they are doing works or they have a reasonable degree of competence, they just spew and rattle off into some bizzare  stratosphere  that serves to isolate themselves from their lives : o)

productive change can only come from seeing and feeling where we have gone wrong  and walking into that hurt and eventually past it :o) : o(

productive change can only come from seeing and feeling where we have gone wrong  and walking into that hurt and eventually past it :o)

productive change can only come from seeing and feeling where we have gone wrong !

productive change can only come from seeing and feeling where we have gone wrong

harry, it's just so basic that we have to go deliberately into the areas of what hurts us, but you don't accept that and there you will stay, the wrong side of the glass wall :o(

harry, it's just so basic that we have to go deliberately into areas of what hurts us, but you don't accept that and there you will stay, the wrong side of the glass wall :o(

absorbed into the  emerald  stream

its

swirls

and

flows

absorbed into the emerald stream

its

swirls

and

flows

i do think that da free john went off the rails with the hubris of power and a bunch of depressives and semantic-pragmatic disordered too ready to do what he wanted to do : o () !

i do think that da free john went off the rails with the hubris of power and a bunch of depressives too ready to do what he wanted to do : o () !

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what is or is likely to be

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what is or is likely to be : o() !

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what is or likely to be : o() !

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what isor likely to be    : o(  : o)  !

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what is or likely to be    : o(  : o)  !

sometimes i get sidetracked into what might be rather than what is or likely to be    : o(  : o)  !

child prodigies

jackie evancho        tallan noble        brianna kahane

clearly so far ahead in the game it's not funny

a

different

order

of

being : o )()()

they are so good the world distorts around then, the girls particularly and it will be hard for them  : o()

ed. this is just a comment about the intense pressures these autistically traited/autistic children/adolescents must feel in the limelight :o) (

given that their brains are still forming, it can't be beneficial :oC

one of charles bukowski's more  lyric  poems

“ i was born to hustle roses down the avenues of the dead ”  :o)

it's funny how you can feel good and be severely depressed at the same time : o ()

   

sepehr g.  writes

Yeah, I'm very good at using the internet. I torrent most of my books for school, and I torrent a lot of other books too. I also utilize various search engines and mIRC. I never buy movies or documentaries because I can easily torrent them. Russian websites have the best torrents btw.

I just don't like doing deep reading on the computer screen. It strains my eyes. I may consider getting f.lux though, but I don't think it'll help one hundred percent. I just like holding the book, highlighting, and doing deep reading. I print most of the Scientific Journal Articles I read btw.

my  reply

you are making me think about how i use a monitor !

so i could spend up to ten hours a day looking at one and i have fine tuned things enough that i don't have an issues from using it !

i am long sighted so have a  27"  samsung led/lcd  (samsung has the best colour for sure !)  at quite a distance,  90cm  from my eyes !

short sighted people will use it much closer of course, and i am sure there are some normal sighted people around somewhere if you look hard enough :o)

if you have eye strain then you may need glasses and even a separate prescription just for the monitor !

as you point out there's ahuge issue now with the recent monitors because they are so bright that really they drive the  circadian  rhythm timing for those of us who use them alot, i don't go far as to install  f.lux  because to my mind it doesn't hit the spot enough     but i do set those backgounds i can to turquoise  (126, 236, 236)     and am working towards switching the monitor off an hour before lights out which in my case may be switching over to my little red led headlamp :o)

the theory is that blue still sets the circadian rhythm while not being as bright as white and red is the opposite, it doesn't set the circadian rhythm, but you can still see in the dark :o)

overall some people may prefer dimmer monitors because that makes more melatonin in the brain :o)

using a monitor in an unintelligent fashion will disrupt sleep for sure, but like mobile phones held against the head causing problems in the brain, the moronic general public is very slow to accept that you have think and work things out and maybe the telecoms are more interested in money than your health and it will take 10 years for this sort of thing to become accepted

i still find it fascinating the way that you are thought a looney if you say that sir henry neville really wrote the works of that  underworld  figure, william shakespeare,  the academics have half accepted it and are just biding their time so it can look like they and not brenda james came up with the idea :o)

brenda james published her  discovery  in 2005 and it was a startling and totally original discovery,  so it will be interesting to see how long it takes :o)

another trick with comps is to switch the mouse between hands to avoid RSI : o ()

as a general practice it's good to try to be more   ambidexterous ,  especially as one gets older and brain tends to make one hand dominate completely !

recent research has shown that extended sitting is a major factor in health problems so really you want to be up and down from acomputer every quarter of an hour which is pretty much what i do :o)

irish harry, the box is your inability to objectively test objectively test wether you are wrong and admit it!

I see endless people like you in zen who claim to sit  (some time for self reflection and contemplation) , but are without the slightest realism in self awareness !

what is going wrong ?

my further  reply  to harry's claims he is still perfect and iam completely  ( his words were  “ dubious referee ” )  wrong :o)

would you mind saying if or how much you sit?

it's just sorta interesting that you seem be to almost completely missing a dimension of  reflection/self-reflection  that despite all your bravado will be apparent to most people who know you !

i'm not beating you up, but really it is of interest and since you are a dogen-o-phile ought to be something you can talk about !

maybe your thoughts on sitting as well :o)

i quite like the phrase  “ dubious referee ”  : o)

what is 10 divided by 5 ?

two !

which is greater 5 or 6 ?

6 !

  why do you say you can't do math  ?

what is 10 divided by 5 ?

two !

which is bigger 6 or 5 ?

6 !

why do you say you can't do maths ?

politenesses are the sham walls of social deceit

politeness is the sham walls of social deceit

almost  lost , but not quite :o(

very informative and a deeply moving story of the devotion by Snorri Sturlusson to transmitting an understanding of these old norse legends to future generations :o)

took me years to understand this, but this is how the cliques of girls that age treat the outsider,  not benign or funny at all :o()

interestingly ronald  searle  was interned in changi prison and worked for seven months on the siam - burma death railway in world war 2 !

he was a courtroom artist at the nuremberg trials and did  sketches  (6:18)  for life magazine of the eichmann trial !

sepehr g.  writes

So I'm buying...

The Work of This Moment by Toni Packer

The Way of Korean Zen (tranls. Martine Batchelor)

The Poems of Emily Dickinson edited by W. R. Franklin

Emily Dickinson's Intimate Letters to Susan Huntington

I've sold lots of books, so I have money to afford these. Do you have any Han Shan translations to recommend? I didn't really feel Red Pine's translation was on target... but I could be wrong.

Also, I plan to buy a translation of the Shahnameh soon. I noticed on your book recommendation  list  you had some cool Hindu myths, Persian poets, and etc. Have you ever read the Shahnameh? I also plan to read The Eddas in the future. I think poetry and myth are both pretty cool.

Finally, on a tangential note, I don't like the practice of magick. What's your opinion on stuff like Chaos Magick or other similar stuff? I don't think the rigid practice of Zazen is useful... but the same applies to the recent popularity in stuff like magick, tarot, or reiki stuff...

my  reply

a web translation of  shahnameh  by helen zimmern

mythology is endless , you have to be careful you don't get like a full time literary historian, this stuff can be fun, but it's also tangential...........!

I assume your web access is not very good, personally I haven't bought a book for years and just research and read everything on the web !

i have actually owned all those above books you list tho except  “the intimate letters”  which i read in abook store  ( just like  “ the bell jar ”  actually  -  a speed reader demon :o) , and had the johnson instead of the franklin edition and i would have bought the franklin edition instead if it had been available then !

i used to read emily dickinson before bed each night :o) , but really because of her very elliptical style of writing, what you read has to be backed up with web research to help make sense of her poems ! : o)

you have a tendency to compartmentalize this sort of thing,  get the books together then read them whereas it's really better to get stuck straight in on the web and read bits from here and there.............  and research the backgrounds !

one can get through a lot of material this way and pick the eyes out, which, you being so short of time for this sort of thing, is the way to go ! : o )(

even something like math,  research what you are being taught,  you might find it all surprisingly different :o)

i would actually say that what would offer you the most immediate benefit is being able to use the web effectively for research, a surprisingly common problem in the younger generations with their entertainment, music and social media addictions

like I just picked up this off the web , a  translation  of han shan

I gaze on myself in the stream’s emerald flow

or sit on a boulder by a cliff,

My mind a lonely cloud leans on nothing

and needs nothing from the world and its endless events

my  reworking  of it

absorbed by the emerald stream

contemplatively resting on a boulder

i am a cloud

suspended

then

moving

what has

the world

to

------------------

just reading is a trap, one needs to engage and reply to stuff that resonates :o)

since both cash and time are short you really want to think what you are trying to do and where you want to go, i find delaying purchases never really goes wrong

there's an endless world of literature and really interesting content, it can suck one up forever so one has to learn to go for the eyes and cross reference to get an accurate bead on things !

--------------------

magic, channeling, séances etc are some combination of well and poorly crafted cons or entertainment, james randi has good videos on the web showing the mechanisms used to deceive, be quite clear, that sort of thing is deliberate trickery designed to fool you ! :o)

things like reiki are abit different in reality, a touching/brushing therapy or whatever varnished with flakey bullshit, people pay more for that just like their tastes in furniture in real life :o(

chaos magick looks like the usual wanking Aleister Crowley stuff !

kayli  writes  on hellopoetry

ed.  wow my reply must have freaked her out, she deleted the poem and her id :o), lol these sensitive plants can't handle any real view of themselves :o)

hello, dear,

i don't think we've met.

but i've noticed how you are,

and how no one pays attention.

you walk into the classroom,

no one notices you're here.

you sit in your desk,

trying to hide your fear.

but you can't,

it's obvious,

your eyes show it plain as day.

when the bell rings,

you can't wait to leave,

so you run out into the hallways,

and freak out by the people that are everywhere.

you run to your locker,

but you're too nervous to open it.

that's why you carry all your books in your bag,

your shoulders in pain from carrying it all day,

but it's better that way.

you sigh when the bell rings,

on to the next class,

where your hands shake nervously,

and you want to break down and cry.

your face turns red,

the tears start to form,

but you bite your lip,

and hold all your feelings in

again.

so why do you do this?

why don't you tell?

why do you let yourself live in this hell?

why do you starve yourself?

why...

wrote this to myself.

my

anorexia is linked to autistic traits !

basically you have to learn social skills, how to put on an appearance and bluff and be logical !

carrying that bag around is just making you more vulnerable by making you tired and damaging your shoulder

you have to work with the mismatch between the way your brain sees your body and the way you need to eat for optimal health which may need to include something like fish oil !

the reason WHY is your brain has formed differently, others are not the same and like an alien on earth you have to work out how they think and start to work at surviving in what is basically an unfriendly environment !

the usual story with anorexia is to start to develop severe heart trouble from 30 on ! :o(

i see people continually take translations as what the author wrote, it's a great help to play with google translate and do research on the source texts to see the  (usually!)  very large distance that translations can be from the original ! :o)

i was looking for a poem by  françois leclerc du tremblay,  there's really nothing on the web except what is in  this

quand au plus chaud du jour l'ardente canicule

fait de l'air un fourneau,

des climats basanés mon pied franc ne recule,

quoy que je coule en eau

and then did  a   google translate

when the heat of the day the fiery heat wave due to an air furnace, climates swarthy my free kick will stop it, although I poured water

which i shimmy up a bit to

when the heat of the day was like fiery wave of air from a furnace, i had to rest, even though i have poured water onto myself !

(ed. if you have a better translation please send to me at osip7315catbigpondhopcome, remove the e, replace cat and hop with the obvious  : o)

bang, i walk right across the centuries into the mind of this man :o)

the only cost is my time :o)

zizek mentioned the book by aldous huxley, it has been interesting to follow up

another poem by du tremblay, google  translation  and my shimmy :o)

Ni des Alpes neigeux, ni des hauts Pireneés, le front audacieux, n'a pu borner le cours de mes grandes journées

Or snowy Alps, or high Pirenees, bold front, could not confine the course of my great days

the high Pyrénées, snow rimmed, impassable, could not confine my glorious travels

Cher Seigneur, si ta main m'enfonça la blessure, de ce perçant dessein, j'ay (j'ai) droit, de te montrer ma tendre meurtrissure, et descouvrir (découvrir?) mon sein

Dear Lord, if thy hand dug my injury, this design piercing, I get to show you my tender bruise, and discover my breast

god you bastard, since you have made me damaged, let me show you the wounds and know what is in my soul :o)

-------------

i did query slavoj zižek's/aldous huxley's evalution of du  tremblay ,  but there is a strength and directness in the poetry that warrants it !

he was called the grey eminence in contradistinction to cardinal  richelieu ,  (his boss and patron)  the red eminence !

as regards to him being a spymaster , organising assassinations etc, well that wouldn't have seemed so out of place then, human life had little value and serious diseases like syphilis, gonorrhea and tuberculosis were endemic....... with some degree of lead poisoning always in the background.......... but all the same it was indicative of limitations that the last stanza i go through shows, sorta stuck in in an unreal christian vocabulary, tho of course it wasn't necessarily safe to move out of it :o)

i see people continually take translations as what the author wrote, it's a great help to play with google translate and do research on the source texts to see the  (usually!)  very large distance that translations can be from the original ! :o)

one of the great things about getting older is those who have seen an inferior aspect of ourselves that we are not too happy, or are embarrassed about, die or are sufficiently in that process for one to feel the memory will be very muted  :o)

one of the great things about getting older is those who have seen an inferior aspect of ourselves we are not too happy about, die or are sufficiently in that process for one to feel the memory will be very muted :o)

loren   writes

Few people are shocked when they hear God described as the God of Battles; but what an outcry there would be if anyone spoke of him as the God of Brothels!

my  comment

given the pervasiveness of prostitutes, madams and pimps being on autistic spectrum i would say that god is more the god of brothels than battles :o)

sepehr g.  writes

So starting off  with

“ the poems of emily dickinson ”  edited by w. r. franklin

“ emily dickinson's intimate letters to susan huntington dickinson ”

is the best?

my  reply

I haven't read the franklin edition, but from the reviews on amazon it's supposed to be the best !

I never bought the  “ intimate letters ” , but read it in a bookshop in boston, that is taking me back :o)

the web of course is very good, the really important thing is quality reading which Emily Dickinson and Charles bukowski are for instance and shunryu suzuki and most dogen translations are not ! :o(

real understanding is so rare, one needs to read and talk to the great minds of the past :o)

women may love you, but if they don't get their physical needs met they will still leave you !

in my latish fifties i notice my sex drive has dropped right through the floor !

on zen retreats where everyone sits alongside and opposite each other i found that sitting alongside or near alongside or having a woman opposite too distracting and this destroys the utility of a retreat ! :o(

harry  (irish and some association with gudo nishijima)  writes

“ but at the end of the day I think people will just go the way that seems the best for them ”

( ed.  of different meditative practices ! )

my

see that's voynich, you need to be guided by the sense of infinity which can be quite contrary to what we think is best for us ! :o)

this is the hard work as you have to test and observe and really disturbs your life

if you read dogen he talks about sitting out under the trees and that sort of thing, the last retreat I ever attended had us all boxed up inside the rotoiti lodge outdoor education centre at lake rotoiti in the south island of new zealand in mid summer in a spectacularly beautiful area when we should have all been roaming those hills and water.................... it was quite clear that neither john loori or anyone else had the slightest understanding of what zen was about :o)

that fugue with infinity in beautiful natural surroundings : o)

congratulations on handling my post btw harry, skillful even and not banning me is so much more real than what passes for zen on the internet with the precious  “zen masters”  and know-it alls who can't tolerate one criticism before banning :o)

none of us are that open most of the time, but not forcibly removing what we don't like is the hugest step forward :o)

my brain is really celibate, its just the way i am :o( :o)  : o) : o(

another man

will make her

smile and she will look

at him with those eyes

after sex in bed

thatʼs just the way infinity is

i guess

donʼt get too attached to the human

because it will be taken

from

you

another man

will make her

smile and she will look

at him with those eyes

after sex in bed

thatʼs just the way infinity is

i guess

donʼt get too attached to the human

cause it will be taken

from

you

my reply in a thread of a bullshit titled post  ( is zazen recoiling from the world or being in it ? )  by the irish harry

give a specific instance of my writing being dung ! ?

as regarding yours to be dung, I don't find that, like fred of the hardcore zen blog writes complete dung and that's an artform in it's own right :o)

but your belief in zazen is wrong, it's having a contrary effect that's for sure !

sawaki was not dysfunctional in exploring what zen was about, tho to my mind wrong about zazen, he was celibate and therefore not too tied by that impediment !

there is large depth and context to my writing that takes time to work through, but as I say you don't have and don't make the time and you slip away from the issue of celibacy and being celibate which   “ homeless kodo ” /sawaki was

you just hit away not giving the time necessary and as such are like a fish flapping above the tide, I can point it out and you can sorta see it in fact but your unintelligent self-esteem prevents you from taking the right road and looking at what needs looking at !

to get abead on what zen is about you need not to give up when you go through something the 100th time, again, married with or without children compared to being celibate does not allow this !

have more respect for yourself, your own thinking and resources are only impeded by the cake tin box of zen :o)

if you read eihei dogen, kodo sawaki, ekaku hakuin etc. you realize how difficult this process is, why married types with many competing responsibilities think that the 1/8th arse approach they take yields anything except going in the wrong direction I don't know !

and for your information harry I have spent my entire lifetime on this one way or another, most of that time unintentionally celibate and done the work and gone through the difficulty which involves some sort of trajectory aligned with death which is why I can't recommend the process at all !

married/relationship/children, that trajectory with death doesn't match at all so that is why my recommendation as per my previous post is a  “wisdom literature”  and naturalistic approach

you haven't done a fucking thing except go down the wrong road of egoic investment in voynich and crap and have the cheek to say my writing which you neither investigate or understand is dung !

every word I write bleeds me and stands me on the verge of death, when you understand zen you will understand that, but until then, NO !

the  stoning  of that young woman showed a continuity of a certain attitude to women by men going back  2400  years in that area and no doubt longer from my reading of the anabasis by xenophon

dave st. germain   w r i t e s

sophie  fontanel        I     II

somehow it seems harder for women to be celibate, if only because of the social pressure to identify with and express their sexuality. for 10 years, fontanel lived a purposely celibate life, while also flaunting her sexuality. it's a kind of having it both ways.

reminds me of the  (probably fabricated)  story of the zen nun who was so beautiful that everyone fell in love with her. when the advances became so distracting, she burned her face with a hot iron. took care of that problem!

relatedly, I met with  “zen master xyz”  to inquire about how his relationship  (his wife is also a zen teacher)  works with his pursuit. in person, he kind of brushed me off, so I emailed him a more detailed question. all he said was:  “ I believe there are different paths. For myself, I don't find married life to be in any way a compromise, but rather another rich facet of my spiritual  (and human)  life. I respect people who feel called to a celibate life-style as part of their path, but don't feel that they are thereby granted any superior status. I know this is different from many traditional views. And I can't think of any reading around this that might be pertinent to this ”

since the question of celibacy seems important to me at this point, i've been trying to find other perspectives or models for how a romantic relationship fits in with a contemplative life. it's difficult to find candid, honest accounts.

my

the contemplative life is about alove of infinity beyond the human !

human love is abinding of infinity in a different more fragmented way and less valid but your brain has to be shaped a certain way for a celibate life to be more valid

that is celibacy must be natural, even unintentional and not forced....................

celibacy in the religous context is often  (but not always !)  a cover for different sexualities , homosexuality or paedophilia for example in the catholic church which used in fact before  1850? to 1900  be quite heterosexual  (tho the jesuits have always been paedophilic !)  with priests having families but that changed................

i think unfortunately the issue will never be clear cut for you , your brain shape is right on the borderline between celibacy and relationship, probably you will phase in and out of relationship all your life, i would suggest you start observing and understanding women more, they are sorta understandable and it's abig help to know what you are dealing with : o)

with a woman you are not seeking someone like you but someone whose differences and strengths balance out with your own combination of strengths and weaknesses to make for better functioning in the world for both of you!

zen master xyz  (ed.  david rynick)  has the wrong woman btw, they are both deficient in the semantic area and have got immersed in abullshit version of zen to both their own detriment/s :o(

women are highly motivated by beneficial  “ major histocompatibility complex ”  matches,  (they should strongly like the smell of a potential mate off the pill as the pill distort or can invert this sense !)  so the choice is ultimately with the women but men can choose to accept or not :o)

dylan thomas is someone who got caught the wrong way between  “ married with kids ”  and contemplation, his health was too fragile, or he shouldn't have married a fellow alcoholic, who can say ?

syliva plath never should have married, or again ted hughes was very the wrong person ! : o(

emily dickinson was celibate and the intensity of her poetry reflects that, but there were some periods of sexual activity, lesbian and heterosexual,  i do wonder what the rules are for women sometimes, i think they are different in terms of celibacy ! :o()

toni packer was childless tho she and karl did have an adopted son, i think her fairness and intensity did come somewhat from that lack of natural children

we are breeding machines, our brains and bodies are designed that way, so you have to be very careful, it's not an area you can prescribe or state right and wrongs................. just observe : o()

my reply in a thread of a bullshit titled post  ( is zazen recoiling from the world or being in it ? )  by the irish harry

well don't stand in judgment of me then, despite my seeming to of you, it is not, it's factual and that's what I mean by denial !

no-one is completely right or wrong and I take that view with you too, but you need to unhook your uncritical regard of dogen and nishijima and ask,  “well what do they have wrong”  because you have to steer past that

otherwise and this is the most important thing !!!!!!!!!!!

you take on their errors as well as your own and the compounded errors annihilate any hope you have of making progress !

my personal opinion is having seen the inevitability of  “married with and without children”  come to grief with zen is that the focus needs to be on the observation of your life itself and how it really works, the shards and illusions and momentary realness,  the proverbial  “ wisdom literature ” of jesus son of sirach,  james Thurber and that sort of thing !

that unitizes the need to support your family and yet takes one somewhat out of the blind following of immediate and non-immediate needs

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as screwed up as dogen was, he was progressively getting it right and it's apity he died so young, but that's celibacy, you have no other demands on your time and going the extra mile is something you can do, you have very limited opportunity to do that when married or in a relationship let alone with children and no I don't think breaking up relationships is any answer either :o(

most celibates waste their time too, but not all : o ) (

jundo,  you think of yourself ,  but you don't think   for yourself  ! : o ()

warning:  disturbing viewing

when the pack goes  after  after you.........

i think it was her uncle and cousin behind the what is effectively an execution,  the crowd led by these men dragged her from her house where her family had taken her back.....

you will notice at  1:15  some-one expertly pushes her under her back with his foot so  she  falls and i think at the same time the killing blow is delivered to her head with a rock, these guys know what they are doing for sure ! :o( !

interestingly the   town  was in the area of the march recorded by xenophon in anabasis and i remember one instance where the greeks had broken into a fort that held all the grain supplies and the women tossed their babies into the ravine from the parapet and then jumped over themselves to their deaths !

the area (kurdish?) was probably always chronically short of men lost in warfare and female lives were not held of much value : o ()

the fort/monastery in this  article  may be illustrative !

zafrogzen  ( markus  ‘uku’  laitinen, finnish and a convert from zen to hare krishna ! )  since there is no self,  who is there to take up meditation ?

the notion of  “ voynich ”  is important !

thereʼs  sense  and  nonsense  and  voynich  which is sorta  nonsense  crafted to look like sense,  weeds disguised as roses so to speak,  the notion of meditation is voynich !

jundo,  what does zazen do except make for dull grey men like yourself who can’t think straight ?

ed.  jundo cohen, a zen teacher living in japan with a japanese wife, he now has a daughter which gives his life meaning in the usual way, like kogen and others they just blather some nonsense form of zen until they have children, then their lives take a more meaningful turn in the usual human way !

zen only makes sense in its historical and a personal celibate context !

bad luck  brad warner,  tho  it  sounds abit like aging : o )(

“ long before the well documented nerve cell death, synapses that are important for communication between brain centres that control memory and learning begin to wither ”

“ huntington's disease has long been characterized by the involuntary writhing movements faced by patients. but in fact, huntington's has a very broad and highly individual symptomatology.  depression, memory loss and sleep disorders are all common early on in the disease ”

eight pages pages of  condolences  and not one mention of the cause of death : o ()

a wunderkind,  but not without depressive and neural issues i think : o )(

“ grant enjoyed exploring the beauty of the physical world. he hiked the hills of marin and beyond and was drawn especially to water, at the russian river, kehoe beach, chimney rock, tomales bay, and rockaway beach in new york. he loved traveling with friends and family to europe, asia, central america, and driving several times cross the country ”

you can be dead, but your facebook page  lives  on : o)

that's agood  article  , thoughtful !

once you step out of the  “ normal ”  perceptions and actually observe and think,  life can seem a little strange, that's because it is strange :o)

ed. interestingly she  (ella shaw!)  deleted that reply , she's avoiding putting two and two together about the futility of the ambulance/paramedical work she does !

that she, what she does and what the world is are strange ! :o()

i posted  a second comment  as per below, no doubt to be deleted !

you are avoiding putting two and two together about the futility of the ambulance/paramedical work you do!

that you, what you do and what the world is are strange ! :o()

you can delete this comment as well, but the reality is there and will grow on you ! :o)

isn't the news all bad when it comes to aging ?  yeah it's not only bad it gets worse :o(

this  study  says that the brain synapses which accumulate the immune signalling protein C1q  (a 300 times age related build up by 70)  prime the brain for destruction by any traumatic event,  stroke,  infection.......concussion..........warfarin haemorrhaging..........

it's just basically a trigger action, you get the event, the synapses primed with huge quantities of this protein get destroyed by your own immune system

H

A

P

P

Y

S

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Y

this is one of the most depressing things i have ever read :o()

Do not go gentle into that good night

Old age should burn and rave at close of day

Rage, rage against the dying of the light !

dylan thomas, you mean dribble  dribble   ?  : o ) (

(ed. the link has a reading by thomas of that poem ! :o )(

my  reply  to  uku

maybe the summer sun on your skin and head is doing you some good?

uku  replies

Hahhaa, maybe! Summer’s been really lovely  :)          (ed. 2013)

my  reply

the brain has receptors that respond to strong sunlight coming though the skull sutures improving mood and helping healing

it's interesting that the  “crew cuts”  in hare Krishna may have a useful physiological function !

maybe you can go to southern spain in winter :o)

uku  replies

Heh, I love to be in Finland during winter. Although I love the sun and summer feelings, I also love the darkness and cold winter. Four seasons rules  :)

kogen ,  your 2009 posts are dharma talks !  the further one gets into zen, the less functional one becomes in this respect until one dribbles nonsense thinking it sense and no-one is fooled except yourself :o(

ok, here's some  “dharma wisdom”  you are all going to reject , but be that as it may..........

I have never seen it mentioned but it's very important to grow out of zazen and sesshins, you should have grown out of them within about two or three years, if that hasn't happened you are moving too slow and below the speed necessary to get critical mass for   fusion  so to speak !

zen has degenerated into some glorifying of the  “process”  as an end in itself, but really zazen and sesshin are just stages...........

there's appoint to it all, but the quality of teachers these days is so bad that people just muck around in some stupid haze, blind and getting blinder :o(

eileen  writes

Heads up fellas....;o)

“  [...]  testosterone  levels are closely related to the availability of food energy. When young men skip even a single meal, their testosterone levels can drop as much as 10% Fast for a couple of days, and they decrease to castrate levels.

The same is true for infection, an infection from a pathogen or parasite  -  even injuries, burns, or surgery  -  all cause an immediate decrease in testosterone ”

my  reply

well you can get testosterone directly by eating wallaby testicles and prostrates,  also the brain, spine and testicles respond to direct strong sunlight on them, in the testicles's case they make more testosterone, in the brain's case I think some sunlight goes through the sutures in the skull and can improve mood !

i'm not sure what it does on the spine, but it may encourage growth factors and help with back problems !

testosterone is important for both men and women, but I think particularly for men low testosterone causes poor cardiovascular health !

the downside of more testosterone in men is to some extent, reduced immune function !

sepehr g.  asks

Also, I have no experience in poetry, and I want to start again.

Do you have any edition or collection of Emily Dickinson's poetry to recommend? I want some annotations to help me along the way, and in the future I can read without it? I plan to buy an electronic dictionary again because I want to read poetry.

Do you think reading stuff like Dogen or Han Shan is a waste of time due to the biases of the translators? I think sticking with poetry written in one's native tongue is better then?

I will procrastinate on improving my math while I read this stuff. I hate math so much.

my

my book and video  list with Emily dickinson at the top !

yeah dogen is a waste of time, but there are some good translations of han shan around !

in today's world it's bad news to get stuck without good job or income earning skills because unskilled or semi-skilled labour pays so little now, it didn't use to be like that in the western world !:o(

fred  lost  from the flytip?

the deserted wasteland with only

the flytip blowing in the wind and

his just desserts, the ineffable,

for lunch and supper

Downunder amid the gum trees

the ornery aspy munching on

wallaby brains and offal

his kuru visions for breakfast,

my

fred, a man of no distinction

a flytip blowing refuse in the wind

into the hardcore zen blog

he

calls

it

writing

just by way of explanation the  “ kuru visions ”  reference is the usual zen derogation of visions,  like they are somehow not valid, this is a complete misundertsanding of the mystical process

both fred and brad warner both understand they are on the rubbish tip, i guess it bothers them that others may be off and walking the streams and valleys and hills and mountains and coast and sailing the seas, but you can't tell them, they think they are kings as the shit dribbles over their noses :o) (

eileen  writes

   curb in the sky  is very funny imo

the differance between men and women Lol

she reminds me of me

and the males aversions are typical of males who cannot stand to be corrected by females

i can see being constantly disagreed with is wearing Lol

johan always disagrees with my perspective too it's wearing

my  comment

well irl there should be adaption by both parties

eileen  replies

yeah just thinking that myself

not always easy to do

depending on mood viral state and health i suppose as well as how one relates to each other

one of the sad aspects of my parents relationship is they constantly disagree

on things they should let go

as long as i can remember they've done that

only now they're almost dead are they at peace

henri maillardet's  automaton   (built around 1810)

i am beginning to appreciate james thurber much more ! :o)(

henry  darger  was only two years older than james thurber and i wonder if thurber's 1934 new yorker cartoon series,  “the war between men and women”  served as a template for darger's lifelong work  “in the realms of the unreal”  since the mock satirical/hurting reality and somewhat bombastic style seems similar ?

yeah, I thought that was very good  research  and might ignite a reaction against the book which is of course extremely toxic, but it made me wonder if the mills and boon type genre including the newish paranormal romance is also consistently as toxic?

study

my  reply below  in a thread of a bullshit titled post  ( is zazen recoiling from the world or being in it ? )  by the irish harry who tried to justify dogen's blather as being discursive on the claimed  “elasticity”,  and  “redundant swaddling shit”  nature of truth

you can make sense of Emily dickinson and james  Thurber ,  in part because you read them unbutchered by any translator  (tho Emily Dickinson is a revelation in her own handwriting and not edited :o)

the trouble with zen is you are taught to revere voynich meaninglessness ......... truly  “empty”  of course but in acrucifying way.........

you are in denial about there being such a thing as a competent understanding...............

stupidity only hurts ourselves and those close to us and those further away :o()

“ he who hesitates is sometimes saved ”

good  wang  wei  pages

this screen

unfolded

here

reveals

great

beauty

good  wang  wei  pages

this screen

unfolded

here

reveals

great

beauty

when i was looking at  this  i had a sudden vision of derrida speaking as a jewish or sufi mystic hundreds of years earlier in a different vocabulary saying the same thing : o ) (

when i was looking at  this  i had a sudden vision of derrida speaking as a mystic hundreds of years earlier in a different vocabulary saying the same thing : o ) (

when i was looking at  this  i had a sudden vision of derrida speaking as a sufi mystic hundreds of years earlier in a different vocabulary saying the same thing : o ) (