this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed !


















Dave St.Germain  sends  a quote


“ most of the forces in our ordinary lives as we live them now  conspire  against the making of a poem ”


my  reply


that's very zen in the sense of using some-one else's thoughts, observations and words rather than your own ! :o()
















Dave St.Germain  sends  a quote


“ most of the forces in our ordinary lives as we live them now  conspire  against the making of a poem ”


my  reply


that's very zen in the sense of using some-one else's thoughts and words rather than your own ! :o()
















sepehr g.  writes


But doesn't industrialization kinda encourage non-celibacy and hedonism?


Also, I'm pretty sure Charles Bukowski and many of those poets listed weren't celibate?


I am kind of confused on how one  “ought”  to practice?


Kind of leads to a Hume-like dilemma?


my  reply


celibacy is like an extreme that almost never exists, it's more illustrative of the tensions and problems of living !


charles bukowski did have extended periods of celibacy until he started to become famous and then had toxic women pursuing him, he was lucky and sensible enough to  end  up with his wife who was quite helpful in providing a stable environment for him !


i think contraception has the biggest impact on the destruction of celibacy as a religious tradition, to all practical purposes it has destroyed it so one is looking at it as an ideal of estrangement from the breeding paradigm


industrialization is not all bad, in preindustrial societies you are basically crippled by 50 with your joints shot from all the manual work and that makes you dependent on having a large family to keep the farm going which doesn't give you much freedom at all !


“practice”  like zen is an illusion, there are no real entities there, who would you be , doing what and going where ?
















the pot calling the silverware  black  ?


i quite like this   POIM


Walking on Water

    Nothing Ever Happened

      Not Ever Happening

             True Story

             Old Story

             New Story

             Old & New

       HOLY BOLONEY

             Holy Cow

             Holy Cats

                Wow

             Whatever

      To The Feast

         Story Book

            Book

              Story Words

        “Anyway, It Happened”

            Nothing Happened

        Everybody Invited.



and  this one


WOMAN


A woman is beautiful


but


you have to swing


and swing and swing


and swing like


a handkerchief in the


wind


and


this


The taste


of rain


— Why kneel?
















gender blurring is intrinsic to the human species at the XY  chromosome  level ! : o)(



the SRY gene on the Y chromosome which is the master switch that begins the process leading to the development of a male, has the unbelievably low threshold factor of two !


that means that basically on a population basis there's going be a lot of variation in the degree of  “maleness” in males,  and in fact imo because males are also involved in raising young, there's alot of female maternal characterisitics in the supposed human male ! :o)


“ the new research indicates that male sexual development is less stable than other genetic programs ”


“ human males actually develop near the edge of sexual ambiguity ”


“ the essential idea is that our evolution has favored a broad range of social competencies. In prehistory, this range would have given a survival advantage to communities enriched by a diversity of gender styles ”
















malign biofilm/microbiome  which can generate both alcohols and fatty acids can induct  pancreatitis  ?


“ processes inside isolated pancreatic cells leading to pancreatitis can be inducted by the combination of alcohol and fat


when alcohol and fatty acids mix inside the pancreas, a massive release of calcium stored inside the pancreatic cells is triggered


the emptying of these calcium stores then sets in motion the opening of special channels in the cell membrane that allow calcium to enter the cells


the intrusion of this calcium causes activation of normally inactive digestive enzymes inside the cells, which in turn start digesting the pancreas and everything around it ”
















the problem with energy drinks, is even though their caffeine levels may be equivalent to coffee, they lack the protective anti-oxidants that coffee has and that is an overriding deficiency :o()
















sepehr g.  writes


It seems one is kinda forced to buy a plot of land to practice sustainably on while remaining celibate. That's why a good income is essential.


I also don't think it's possible to practice in Industrial settings...


my


reply


I think the root problem with zen and this goes way back is their horizons are intellectually too limited !


wang wei lived only a generation after the 6th patriarch and he is one of the most zen/daoist oriented poets with strong family associations to zen as his brother was a hermit? monk and wang wei also wrote a memorial inscription for the 6th patriarch and yet he, one of the greatest and most insightful poets is never mentioned in zen, even by dogen !


once you allow a broader horizon then Charles bukowski, william blake, sylvia plath and john keats have to fit, all of whom lived in  “ industrial settings ” , you want things too completely right, that never happens


just keep nibbling at what extends you both intellectually and in a practical sense...................


“ I follow the stream up into the hills and watch the clouds as their tendrils coalesce and come apart.................. ”


a famous couplet by wang wei  (my retranslation)
















zen liberation, burn your rakusu :o)


the real life of  these  people is their families and relationships, it's not zen and as a consequence, whatever they do it's just playing and some sort of image/ego accretion :o(


let's all ignore that it's only celibates who acquired any sort of competency in zen :o(


unless you are celibate, everything is too compressed, every hour of the day needs to be directed one way or another to working this out and to be able to step outside the bounds of  “ you ”  which is dangerous and potentially and actually destructive, how is this possible for a family person or one in relationship ?


so zazen just recoils in a nastily mashed and cross sprung way and the necessary intellectual endeavor never happens and second rate thought just gets collected like flem in a spittoon ! :o(


it's a funny thing, i almost feel like i am rewriting dogen, saying either what he really said or should have said in a clear understandable way, that's how it's supposed to be, not the endless obfuscation of modern zen where incomprehensibility is enshrined and adulated and  never never criticized  :o(


basically what i am saying is that your lives are so compressed with life's demands that zazen is malfunctional and believe me it shows :o()  !
















i was dropping off or waking up from sleep and there was this vision of myself as or with a cut down tree, what does this mean i wondered, then i thought, well i had a migraine and that's how my brain was :o()
















the photography is very  good ,   you are a natural film maker, I didn't like the music at all and it strongly detracted from the photography !


personally I think for this sort of documentary the music should be minimal or even non existant ! :o)


you are very weak in the  “meaning”  area and will always be challenged to allow your natural visual sense to tell the story and and not over-write it with for example the nonsense of those lyrics for the music !


a good rule is to prioritize your own content and not free carry those stupid musicians !


-------------------


a certain rclere1  frothed at the mouth and responded


what do you know... go back under your rock


Maybe you will take your own advice and non exist with your criticism... what have you done of worth lately?


stupid is as stupid does...


my  reply


problems with impulse control ?  when you hit the mark you get the response !


if you are objective that was useful advice I gave to adam, people like you seem to get damaged by the so called  “zen training”  and are unable to respond to any useful criticism in a reasonable manner !


if you look at my id I have a huge volume of writing on the web;  prose,  homilies,  poetry and am the developer of the  biofilm/microbiome  carbohydrate diet and supplement program ! :o)


--------------------


joseph mold  “ liked the music 2! ”


my comment was  “ lol, hillbilly valium ;o) ”


--------------------


rclere, if adam wants to operate as film maker in the real world and I think he has that potential, he has to be open to useful criticism and make use of that to improve what he is doing, like as I pointed out he is masking his own visual content with that hillbilly valium.


to the contrary, your attempted enforcement of the usual cultish suppression of criticism is only damaging him, as to what it is doing in your life..............


--------------------


actually the  “ hillbilly valium ”  is so bad it could easily be taken as satire, tho of course not intended that way ! :o)
















the basic point is fruit has yeast and bacteria on and in them and these can create problems with people having digestive difficulties !


the white haze coating on grapes and blueberries is a yeast biofilm


heating fruit to about 56C ? will kill yeast and about 68C will kill bacteria !


the trade off is too high a temperature destroys vitamin C !


when the gut is unable to control the biofilm/microbiome in it, that's when you get the problems !


the problem with wheat is that it's starch presents a slow release form of energy accessible to the bioflm/microbiome but much less accessible to our own enzymes, so if there is poor microbiome control by the gut, then that's when things get out of control !


medicine took the original  specific  carbohydrate diet developed by dr. sidney haas and elaine gottschall and butchered it down to what is now called the gluten free diet, but got it all wrong, except the removal of wheat !


the problem with food and diets is it takes way too much time and knowledge to be economically done by any form of medically trained personnel and like just about everything in life, if you want it done properly you have to do it yourself :o)


of course medicine offers all sorts of difficult surgical remedies like colostomy or ileostomy for IBS and chron's and there is the current bizarre promotion of various bariatric surgeries for obesity which are not without complications, when the root problem is inept modulation of the diet and nutrients, being ignorant about health is not benign !


it's best to keep as wide a distance from the need for surgery as possible !


just little explorations and increases in knowledge is the only way to go and building experience from small informed changes, and see how it works !


blind trust is usually rewarded by robbery of one sort or another

and that includes health :o(
















“ his  (ed. eihei dogen)  vision is so large ” ,  sol you are good  example  of what is wrong with zen !


try  “ his vision is so small that the stupid suckers fall for the zen bullshit and waste their lives trying to make sense of what is nonsense ! ”  way to go sol :o)


you all need the glass wall of censorship and hiding when addressed, yes this is addressed to you sol, no reply I bet !


ok, that should be  “mel”  and I am into harassing 84 year olds :o)


well I don't expect you to reply you are so close to death, one can see the greyness in your face and brain, I too will pass that way but I am not there yet, any zennist who can actually reply in a reflective manner and not the usual unthinking denial is welcome, what is the point of zen if you have to eliminate me from your blog, you tube or facebook comments when supposedly you are masters of heaven and earth huh?


-----------------


well adam tebbe replied  “ You're not well, Andrew. Be well. ”  but seems to have thought better of it and removed the comment !


adam you should have left it, you have to not be afraid to show how we think and respond and if it's weak, so what ! why r u in zen ?


you actually have some sense of zen is about but walk all over it and try to conform to what this parade of fools called zen masters claims is zen........... how can things turn out except badly ?
















this  would help explain the variability of effectiveness and indeed in some years, contrariness of the flu vaccine ! :o()


“ the H1N2 antibodies in the sick pigs bound to the hemagglutinin (HA) stem rather than the HA head of the 2009 H1N1 virus, and thus weren't able to block the virus from attaching to cells. Instead, the strong cross-reactive antibodies helped the pandemic virus fuse to cell membranes, which appeared to worsen respiratory problems in the vaccinated pigs ”


someone i know of got a severe dose of the flu that lasted him at least 6 weeks  (winter 2013) ,  it sounds like this years vaccine could have this problem as he was vaccinated !
















amr/ zaroffhound   perhaps you recognise these lines?


is thy bread ever more of stale rags


is thy bread dry as paper


from  usura
















don't get any more  tattoos , the tattoos themselves are formed by an allergic response to whatever crud has been used :o(


btw eat better, think better :o)
















ah  hah   ! :o()


“ alcohol reduced the reaction in the amygdala to threat signals — angry or fearful faces ”


might this also include sean cole  swimming  the mary river, the most damn fool thing you can do :o)


embrassing way to go sean, to be remembered as acomplete idiot :o)


“ the area, 100km from of darwin, is  known  to have the highest density of salt water crocodiles in the world ! ”
















rather amazing  scenery  : o)


“ scientists discover deep canyon under greenland ice;  professor jonathan bamber, from the university of bristol, was among the team that used a geological mapping technique to survey the detail and scale of this huge trench in the earth's surface ”
















sepher g.  asks


btw, do you like cats, andrew?


my  reply


to understand cats, you need experience with the feral !
















sepher g.  writes


I need to improve my eyes to read poetry online. I really like focusing more on physical books though, so I'm going to read Emily Dickinson and discuss her with you. I think reading poetry is better time spent than wasting time with verbose articles, like the one I linked.


Do you have any other poetry books to recommend me purchase? I want to read one poet at a time though, so is starting with Emily Dickinson the best?


my  reply


you really need to get your eyes sorted out, imo you need a special prescription of glasses  (plastic lens to reduce the weight !)  so you can use a monitor easily !


imo the best way to read Emily Dickinson is to use the google image search on  “ Emily Dickinson handwriting ”  and similar so you can see her handwritten poems and start to work out what she was trying to say !


in my  booklist  and copious writings I have plenty to say and make plenty of recommendations, you seem to be stuck in a tidy, wanting to have a nice list of things to do stage, that of course will never be done


zen people seem to ignore practical things like sorting out vision problems and VERY especially Dietary needs so one can think straight :o()


my honest experience is unless the diet and health side is sorted out it's all hopeless !


health is hard work, like the day before yesterday i donated blood for the 13th time for what is essentially a phlebotomic process and i seem to do better with lower iron levels, it's not straightforward and knocks me about a bit, but on balance offers considerable benefits like lowering iron in the retina ............... you just have to keep working on it, it's unending and when we lose the ability to do this sort of work, the end starts to come...............


you have limited time so I would suggest you just get stuck into the usual messy process we all have of doing something and the remainder of our lifetime it takes to move through that ! : o()


so discuss something, not how to do something :o)
















amr ,  the world is not some candy floss coated fluffy pillow, it's a rats nest of grasping pigs and pretenders which I would count you among, typical that you are posting anonymously !


uku had the sense to abandon zazen because his experience was it was making him crazy which is my observation of what it does to people !


what do you do  amr  that you have become some sort of lotus eating cloud floater ?


you claim not to be feel threatened but hasn't my writing had that effect on you !


------------------


my further  reply  to some more specious crap of amr


look amr, the net is full of pretending  “spiritual”  retards like yourself, full of froth and air because they can't be themselves, lions are not afraid to be be out in the open, in fact they revel in it, those who hide within the walls of anonymity are mice........... front up ! :o)
















if you get involved with something, you have the burden of decompressing it !


you have to ask yourself wether it's worth getting involved ? !
















if you get involved with something, you have the burden of decompressing it !


you


have


to


ask


yourself wether


it's


worth


getting


involved
















if you get involved with something, you have the burden of decompressing it !


you

have

to

ask



yourself wether


it's


worth


getting


involved
















outsider art  -  betty stacey


 Garlic  Finches in gum tree  Barn owl
















life and death are a  pair  :o) )( ()(()(
















life and death are a pair  :o) )( ()(()(
















life and death are a pair  :o)


 'The Maiden' an inca mummy of a 13 yo discovered in 1999 on the summit of the llullaillaco volcano which is on the border of argentina and chile


this  video  makes the useful and important point about it being part of the culture and with the singing at the end of got a glimpse of something very different and interesting, that completely different way of life, surroundings and views :o)
















life and death are a pair
















sepher g.  writes


hey, andrew, what do you think of graham priest's inclosure schema in relationship to emptiness ?


the  essay  begins by positing everything lacks a determinate character  (i.e., they do not have an underlying essence that comes to rigidly define them)  due to it dependently originating  [....]


my


reply


it's just the usual recursive nightmare of meaningless twaddle


if everything  “ lacks a determinate character ” ,  is that not itself a determinate or indeterminate character and if so or not what are the implications of each ?


it is entirely the norm of billions of man-hours to have totally been a waste of time regurgitating this sort of shit over the past present and future


heidigger says it almost  straight   (1:05)  out which i thought was pretty honest of him, prose cannot address this recursive trap, but poetry can :o)


the sort of understanding you seek to develop can only occur along the road of reading poetry and writing your own :o)


let the academic's draw their paltry salaries for writing shit :o)


to write effectively about infinity/emptiness, the writing must also be of it, this sort of psuedo philosopical junk writing is the opposite, but good poetry is of it and actually well written prose can also be of it like katherine mansfield's   at the bay  :o)


it's actually a basic problem with you, you gravitate to  “about”  and seem not to want to be  “of ”  which is sorta understandable since being  “of ”  can be so frightening and destructive :o()


however, seen clearly and intelligently  “of ”  becomes more a bearing in somewhat more functional ways of the true destructiveness that actually occurs in  “about”
















charles bukowski,  drunk but /and  interesting


“  and some day i'll get lucky and sit around and buy a french horn and a tame eagle and i'll sit on the porch all day, a white porch always in the sun, one of those white porches with green vines all around, and i will read about dylan and  D. H.  until my eyes fall out of my head for eagle meat and i can play the fench horn blind  . .  ”


1 : 12
















eihei dogen in the mountains and rivers sutra  writes


“ the illogical stories mentioned by you bald-headed fellows are only illogical for you, not for buddha ancestors


even though you do not understand, you should not neglect studying the buddha ancestors’ path of understanding


even if it is beyond understanding in the end, your present understanding is off the mark ”


my  comment


that  illogical  quote is quite good and could be rephrased as


“ just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's not understandable ”


not exactly earthshattering but understandable ;o) !


the problem is the vast majority like 10 billion to one is actually intrinsically not understandable and some of it deliberately crafted to be an endless labyrinth of meaninglessness designed to trap the mentally retarded and intelligent in in a blood bath of stupidity and honey :o)
















Arabic males are naturally homicidal, they are bred to be manically aggressive, tho very intelligent by polygamy


a correspondent  asks


i am hoping you haven't been taken out by an aggressive arab??


my  reply


lol too busy taking myself out :o)


if you want to understand arab culture the  “ the adventures of thomas pellow, of penryn, mariner, three and twenty years in captivity among the moors ”  is    extremely  illuminating   :o)


and a very good read as well, to walk into a totally different culture and time, literally like being there :o)(
















Arabic males are naturally homicidal, they are bred to be manically aggressive, tho very intelligent, by polygamy
















Arabic males are naturally homicidal, they are bred to be manically aggressive, tho very intelligent by polygamy
















mike  (ed.  so-slow  port )  the problem is you ban what you don't like to hear, those who do this don't know the Buddha way  from a foxes arsehole  :o(


ed.  this and the above  “arab”  and  “illogical”  comments were removed by  “not so slowso”  mike port within an hour from his facebook page :o()


you absolute fucking fraud mike ! :o(


actually the moreso since i was responding to a post of his where he was making some pathetic apologist return to my web criticisms of dogen, like you are reading me mike, you just can't hack the to and fro of the real world can you,


WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IN ZEN ?


look at what dogen says  soslow  in that poem you quote at the end of your post


Letting go, vigorous with plenty of gruel and rice,

Flapping with vitality, right from head to tail,

Above and below the heavens, clouds and water are free



mike, you are shackled by the necessity to preserve the self image you have built and reinforced and prevent from being eroded by not accepting public criticism and responding to it


actually that above translation is so bad i have done a reworking, to be fair to eihei dogen poor translations of his better work do so much to soil his reputation :o),  i can actually see that mike port is quite insane when i look at the article more closely, there is no hope at all :o(


letting go delivers a new energy


a dying fish drinks the air for a while and lives !


above and below , clouds reflected in the water :o()
















mike  (ed.  so-slow  port )  the problem is you ban what you don't like to hear, those who do this don't know the Buddha way  from a foxes arsehole  :o(
















a good comment below  (after my page of comments)  on an attack by a staffordshire bull terrier which is what the neighbour has, they are not pit bulls, but it has bitten me once  (i had been through his territory)  and they certainly can get in a bad mood when not fed !


their body language once you learn to read it tells clearly what they are feeling, not too complex emotionally :o)


i'm used to sheep and cattle dogs, but thanks to being able to observe this very poorly managed though basically nice natured staffordshire terrier, have realised they are quite different and their jaws are so powerful they can never be taken for granted, you only need an artery puncture with a hard bite to be in serious trouble !


staffordshire bull terriers are an interesting amalgam of features and aptitudes bred into them, a watch dog with a very good sense of saving its own skin, extremely good with children and  “loving”  to its owners,  they are also bred to kill foxes and rats, half human really and will try to establish dominance over humans if they can which i think partly explains its aggressive and antagonistic attitude to me........


they are not persistent barkers which is good, but they do need constant social contact with humans to keep them on an even keel imo and have a somewhat bolshy and naturally disobedient nature :o ()


the  comment  below by alex of dublin is in response to this  article


I've worked in in animal rescue for years I do not judge a dog by breed there are many factors to be considered in each dog attack case, reading this I've noticed a few already


she was in the dog's territory


she says she bent down to pick something up since the dog was close enough to bite her she may have unknowingly leaned over the dog, dogs see this as a threat even though they may let their owners do it, people forget that even though many view their dogs as family they are animals first with different body language and different  ways of interpretation


people don't like to hear this but most dog attacks are unknowingly instigated by the victim, you can tell alot about a dog simply by how it holds itself


if more people learned how to read a dogs body language there would be alot less attacks. I think it's important especially for children to learn because dogs are everywhere and a wagging tail is not always a friendly sign
















dave st. germain quotes me then  replies


“ i think Jim Arrow  (ed. a zen teacher)  has got involved in a disaster area that is not working out for him, he's probably making the best of it he thinks he can but really from what has happened to him, it's as best to keep as far as possible from it or else end up like them,  drawn into the whirlpool of that stupidity :o(  ”


Actually, I left the retreat last weekend after one day because it was such a drab environment, and the people were in various states of unhealth or sickness. The contrast was especially strong when we would go outside for walking meditation. After a while, sitting inside felt like being in a dungeon compared to being with the trees in the lovely weather. 


The other thing I noticed about Jim is that at this point, he seems to be enjoying traveling around holding these retreats for his longtime friends. I felt out of place in the group, and he seemed uninterested in offering anything other than the standard platitudes.
It just seemed like a strange way of spending time with old friends.
I was disappointed (but also disappointed with myself for not sticking with it despite the atmosphere). 


my  reply intially quoting david


“ After a while, sitting inside felt like being in a dungeon compared to being with the trees in the lovely weather  ”


“ I was disappointed  (but also disappointed with myself for not sticking with it despite the atmosphere) ”


no in fact you made the right decision and you can see that they don't know what they are on about


and it's just some sort of schizophrenic stupidity :o()


i don't know what has happened to jim but in fact he was not alot different when i was there 22 years ago at the cambridge zen center in 1991, he might have early mild dementia or a subtle form of chronic fatigue maybe from thyroid issues or was too good looking for his own good and got somewhat mangled by the pressures of various affairs and involvements with abunch of toxic women  ! :o(


it has been helpful to have your input to give me more of a bead on some of these things i was involved in all those years ago :o)


but


really


leaving that retreat you made a fundamental decision in the right direction


:o)
















the aging process is life's nastiest surprise


v3
















the aging process is life's nastiest and most awful surprise


v2
















aging is life's nastiest surprise :o) (
















aging is life's nastiest surprise


v1
















a very good  page  on emily dickinson, actually like a revelation, the way she layers in different words to the poems,


exploding infinities of meaning  :  0 )
















a correspondent  writes


Just pranged my car again, never done anything before and now twice in a couple of months. Not doing well myself


my  reply


i nearly had a head on collision last week, my fault cut the corner., fortunately we both managed to swerve


but i think viruses can be as dangerous as drinking and you are less aware of the problem :o(


i am going to have a careful look at that corner next time i go to town :o)(


fresh lamb liver is a good source of iron but low thyroid/iodine is another common source of fatigue
















i thought you might be interested in  this


it's basically saying that iron in supplements can feed salmonella bacteria, i also assume that iron fortification of cereals is an issue as it is a mineral iron


there's other information on the web like  this  which is another angle on it


my web page on  iron


my thirteenth blood donation on wednesday :o)
















as you get older you more and more realise that life and everybody are insane :o)(















as you get older you more and more realise that life and everybody is insane :o)(















as you get older you start to realise that life and everybody are insane :o)(















as you get older you start to realise that life and everybody is insane :o)(
















the biofilm/microbiome carbohydrate  diet


which is a diet that i have been developing for about seven years now and is an outgrowth of the specific carbohydrate diet developed by elaine gottschall


imo the medical gluten free approach is unscientific and not well targeted, the base issue is that of complex carbohydrates providing material for bad gut bugs


what to do is quite complex, but in fact i have bad digestive issues for years and now seem to cope very well, but really i don't eat any grains and there's lot of other things i do, like the  sun  thing etc. to reduce inflammation tendencies


digestive enzymes are quite important


a digital cooking temperature thermometer is very useful for measuring pasturizing temperatures for fruit  (55 to 62C depending)  and this kills bad biofilm/fungi/yeast on the skin and in it which is necessary for digestive problems, while still preserving the vitamin C !


just loading up on UNpasturized fruit is aproblem


also iron in supplements or even iron added to cereals feeds salmonella bacteria, this is sorta an example of how complex it gets and how wrong minded the world is in the way it approaches things !


the basic  page  of the diet


those only being breast fed for a very short period after birth or not breast fed at all, are up for metabolic syndrome in its various shades, without an intelligent approach to diet etc. our health and minds as we age will not be like our parents generation who have done very well all things considered !


there's a problem and all i can say is i have addressed it, others make their own choices of course !


using a digital cooking thermometer is a good way to start thinking about the issues :o)


from experience i can tell you that health is way more important than work and a focus on that is a much better use of time if you can afford it !


it's best approached as a dialogue, just start to look at things a bit and work in small changes and that goes on as a lifelong process !
















you maythink your life is a mess and could have been different, but if you have survived to this point


that's


something


any other way and


you


may

not


have


survived !
















you maythink your life is a mess and could have been very different, but if you have survived to this point


that's


something


any other way and


you


may not


have


survived !

:


o


(


)
















you maythink your life is a mess and could have been very different, but if you have survived to this point


that's


something
















you maythink your life is a mess and could have been different, but if you have survived to this point


that's


something

:


o


)


(
















“ mice given  cocaine  showed rapid growth in new brain structures associated with learning and memory ”


so like amphetamines and ssri's, there is a complex effect of neural growth in some areas of the brain on the positive side and problematic toxicities on the other, it's really brain trying to escape its certain doom the way things were going :o(


interestingly hitler was some sort of  extreme  drug taker, these drugs may have amplified certain abilities like his hold on power at the end of the war when any rational scenario would have had him out the window :o) ,  but fucked his strategic judgement, i mean killing the jews was to wipe out a large portion of your productive middle class, a certain way to lose a war :o)


“ hitler had chronic eczema, persistent stomach cramps and appalling flatulence ”


he had biofilm/microbiome problems :o()


see what happens to you if you do not engage the  BCD  :o)  !


an interesting out of the box  approach  to advertising mercedes‑benz :o)
















dave st. germain  writes


heard it through the grapevine that the providence zen center is recently having a problem because the only people who show up are  “mentally ill”  ...

not sure how they can reverse that trend.


my


reply


that's an interesting question dave, since what zen is really about is being insane but passing in the world as sane, then if you can't filter those who are insane but aren't functional then the center will be destroyed, but as a lot of the so called  “practice”  is about the insane as passing a s sane then if you filter then you are not being true to what zen is about :o)


so it's better to keep a distance and not be faced with that dilemma :o)


one of the root problems with zen is the transmission system doesn't work  (except in my case :o) ,  the ranks of the teachers now are with a very few exceptions filled with half witted mediocrities living some suburban dream of enlightenment


the neo-advaita/non duality scene has gutted zen, but its  “self appointed”  teacher system works better and the quality of awakening experiences can be better, tho it's still a load of suburbanized crap :o(


anyway today's increased infectious risk environment  (rhinoviruses, stealth and nasty long exposure contagious conditions which alzheimer's may even be and god knows what else)  has destroyed the old ways, oddly, we here on a blog is the new way............:o)
















my life a million miles down the wrong road and now i finally am on the right one i find it hard it pulls me so fast ...  !
















my life a million miles on the wrong road and now i finally am on the right one i find it hard it pulls me so fast ...  !
















my life a million miles down the wrong road and now i am on the right one i find it hard it pulls me so fast ...  !
















my life a million miles on the wrong road and now i am on the right one i find it hard it pulls me so fast ...  !
















ouch, you are getting a bit out of date  dan  ! :o(


check out how lisa cairns gives  satsang  on ustream


ed.  typical of these people, she removed the original video i linked too as being abit  “ not quite the right image ”  !


satire needs to be current to be effective, the whole scene has changed........ :o)  but you know bullshit is eternal :o)
















two young apes  recognize  each other........... there's abit of mismatch,  but the seeing of identity is there :o)
















america's greatest poets


larry  eigner ,  emily  dickinson  and charles  bukowski   ! :o)


a slight poem, but one of charles's best :o)


he is of course talking about hyperlexia and autism :)


which i can strongly relate to :o)
















the metaspace of infinity


there


you


are


i could


yak


on


TED


: o)
















the metaspace of infinity


there


you


are


i could


yak


on


TED


: o)
















interestingly john keats may have been  doomed  by dosing himself with mercury ! :o(
















columbus's  expeditions/ voyages  to the new world  brought back the progenitor of syphilis to the western world !


the progenitor rapidly evolved  (from columbus's return from his first voyage, landing in libson the 4th of march 1493 to the first epidemic in 1495)  into a fatal then milder form of syphilis ! : o(


“  one  hypothesis  is that a subspecies of treponema from the warm, moist climate of the tropical new world mutated into the venereal subspecies to survive in the cooler and relatively more hygienic european environment ”


syphilis was a scourge the western world never really recovered from until the 20th century, that spirochete bacteria really screws the brain : o(
















about women/woman, i'm

a


fool


just not that sort of


fool


experience


has


made


me


wary

:


o


(


)
















about women/woman, i'm

a


fool


just not that sort of


fool


experience


has


made


me


wary : o()
















in the first half of my life i was a sloth


in


the


second


half


i


worked


too


hard

:


o


(


)
















in the first half of my life i was a sloth


in


the


second


half


i


worked


too


hard  :o()
















in the first half of my life i was a sloth


in


the


second


half


i


worked


too


hard

:


o


(


)
















in the first half of my life i was a sloth


in


the


second


half


i


worked


too


hard  :o()
















lol cortés brought back cocoa beans from the new world : o)(


the cocoa beans came back with a cistercian monk who sailed with cortés


On First Looking into Chapman's  Homer 


Much have I travell'd in the realms of gold,

And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;

Round many western islands have I been

Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.

Oft of one wide expanse had I been told

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne;

Yet did I never breathe its pure serene

Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies

When a new planet swims into his ken;

Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes

He star'd at the Pacific — and all his men

Look'd at each other with a wild surmise —

Silent, upon a peak in Darien.



actually it was Vasco Núñez de  Balboa  who was the first european to see the  “mar del sur”  (south sea),  he was executed by some arseholes,  ain't that always the way ?


you'd think good/competent men were short on the ground in the spanish conquest of isthmus central america, but an understanding of that nature is not the way it works :o(
















mohism ,  looks  interesting  :o)
















my  reply  to an email from dave st.germain...........


well the best of your  photography  is as good as anything i have seen !


thomas merton sucks !


i wonder, tho you haven't done much zen is whether it has already been quite damaging


dave st. germain  replies


thomas merton's book got me interested in taoism 15 years ago.


having since read other  translations  of chuang  tzu  , i see that he was clumsy about his interpretation, removing subtlety where it suited his view.


but i did appreciate his poetic take on the book.  the other translations feel very clunky.


i don't know much about merton, though i've heard another person trash him because he never meditated or something  (or that he wasn't serious).


there's a famous trappist monastery not far from here that i may visit some time.  they make great jam!


i don't know if i've been damaged; how do you mean that?


my  reply


“ i don't know if i've been damaged; how do you mean that? ”


you are losing sight of your own skills and abilities and overwriting them with the trashy conformist thought of what passes for zen


i think george bowman has got involved in a disaster area that is not working out for him, he's probably making the best of it he thinks he can but really from what has happened to him, it's as best to keep as far as possible from it or else end up like them, drawn into the whirlpool of that stupidity :o(


my disinterested advice is not to continue your involvement :o)


i think zen is just an error you spend the rest of your life correcting, i certainly have :o()


yeah there's a cistercian  monastery  in new zealand, i did a retreat there once and the meals served to retreatants included meat !


it made ahuge difference to being on deck during the retreat !


the problem is the belief system of the catholic church is completely, utterly crazy and it has all sorts of organizational issues like the prominence given to priests over monks and imo the priests were just stupid arseholes


also there were  “lay”  :o)  women at the monastery helping out with the cooking etc. and i suspect things were not as celibate as it seems,  just another of the huge pile of contradictions that is the catholic church :o)


the thing that had the biggest impact on me was the flat concrete covered graves for the monks, almost anonymous, drab depressing and kitschy, there was something very not right if your life was going to end up like this :o()


this is in a monastery famous for the neon cross on its roof blaring its stupidity out across the rural landscape :o(
















“ seung sahn used to refer to the sangha as like washing a bunch of potatoes. when they bump together in the water, they clean each other ”


having lived at both the providence  (rhode island)  and Cambridge  (boston)  kwan um zen centers I think my opinion is that the communal living doesn't work, principally because the diet doesn't suit most people or we all need to eat individually to tailor our  nutrition  to our own  metabolisms


the kwan um school I feel was the most balanced and in its way open of the zen centers I lived in, certainly a breath of fresh air after the fascism of Japanese zen !


but the health problems destroy these places, you can't work against that sort of grain !


the kwan um school also seemed to understand the cardiovascular risks of sitting with their counterbalancing bowing routines, not overmuch sitting and doing a walking chanting practice :o)
















an anecdote  recounted   by eric


I met Toni in 1999 on a visit to Springwater


She walked into the office area from the parking lot and accidentally spilled all of the contents of her purse out onto the floor


She laughed and said something like,  “ I need to stop keeping this thing so open ”  in her soft, German accent


That really left an impression and I was able to go to several of her retreats before she became to ill to continue
















joan  tollifson  writes


Toni Packer Update:  My dear friend and main teacher Toni is now in hospice care at the Livingston County Center for Nursing in Mt Morris, NY. I gather she is mostly unconscious, can no longer swallow, and seems very close to death. The end could come at any time now. Friends are taking turns being with her, and by all accounts, the atmosphere in the room is peaceful, relaxed, quiet and full of love. Please keep her in your hearts and prayers


Toni Packer died at 7:15 PM EDT this evening. She was surrounded by some of her oldest and dearest friends, and I am told it was very peaceful.
















when asked about her funeral arrangements,  toni  replied


what does it matter,  you have all ceased :o)
















when asked about her funeral arrangements,  toni  replied


what does it matter, you have all ceased :o)
















toni packer has died,  the world disappeared  and the ball of time  continued to roll :o)
















toni packer has died,  the world disappeared  and the ball of time continued to roll :o)
















toni packer has died, the world disappeared and the ball of time continued to roll :o)
















charisma and nonsense go further than sincerity and sense :)


if you look at some of the TED talks on the web that will help  (ed. prepare for a presentation!)  I think !


audience participation is important, some involvement with them so it's not just the usual glass wall between you and them . also no doubt the topic itself is totally forgettable so it pays to try and weave something of more interest in


this  woman  is a good public speaker and it's really the content that drives the talk, she has something important to say and that does the work ! : o)
















my honest opinion is these sort of abstract  fusions  of zen type commentary and scenery don't work ! I liked the clouds at the end cause they moved :)


plots and people/animations and dialogue are what works for video


you are trying to be what you are not, but what you are good at which is doing people with a wry or insightful view you are avoiding ! you really have a wonderful touch with portraiture in photography so that just needs to be moved to the video dynamic !


let the person be the video !


thomas mertons life and writings were like his death, accidently electrocuted in a particularly stupid way ! : o ()


any artistic work has the same problem as translation, you can never get some-one else right, you can only get yourself right ! :o()


religion and zen in general is strongly anti-intellectual and anti-artistic and particularly punitive on original thinking and art of any form as they think enlightenment consists of repeating the clichés they have been taught to value :o) ,  I have seen several potentially very good writers so damaged by trying to fit zen schemas to their writing that it's not funny : o ()))(( , I think you would have to count Thomas merton, brad warner and the new zealand writer richard von sturmer amongst those :o(


lol, the brea(d)th of my nature ! ; o )(
















the autistic way,  things get so bad you get clarifying extremes
















the autistic way,  things get so bad you get clarifying extremes  : o) : o (
















the autistic way, things get so bad you get clarifying extremes : o) : o (
















the autistic way, things get so bad you get clarifying extremes
















charisma and nonsense go further than sincerity and sense :)
















yeah, makes one think :o),  it is a very  strange  process :o)
















yeah, makes one think :o), it is a very  strange  process :o)
















harry  writes


Children have their moments of clarity and wisdom for sure, but more often they are lovely little bundles of thoroughly unreasonable wants and needs and demands.


Thanks, but I already have a couple of 'em


my  reply


a six year old girl/ (7 or eight year old boy?)  is the peak of human intelligence, don't underestimate them, they already have you running around and looking after them after all :o)
















eileen  writes


hope u don't feel i'm patronizing


my  reply


lol, I need all the patronage I can get


: o p
















“ hope u dont feel i'm patronizing ”


lol, I need all the patronage I can get
















hi, that sculpture/vascular thing is interesting, cross  referencing  several different areas in the brain I think to get some holographic type function and reconstruction of skill !


well with an arts skill the function must be distributed over several areas of the brain
















adam tebbe ,   having  failed  to stitch a magazine style web site together for the biggest zen wankers on this or any planet or this or any universe in such a way as to provide adequate financial support for himself


is now floating a project to pollute the world in a rather disgusting way with interviews of said wankers for a documentary for the next 3 years .


adam,  out of the frying pan , into the fire !


I don't suppose the smell of burning corpse is any more disgusting than anything else ?
















i'm trying to write without everyone thinking i am crazy : o( : o) : o) : o(


v3
















i'm trying to write without everyone thinking i am crazy : o( : o) i am crazy : o)  : o(


v2
















i'm trying to write without everyone thinking i am crazy


v1
















the degenerative changes and loss of vision in  advanced macular degeneration  are caused by  impaired  function of the lysosomal clean-up mechanism, or autophagy, in the fundus of the eye


study
















chernobyl, look at the  changes  in those tree rings !


stressed trees for sure, lower growth rates and possibly more caroteniod production inducted as an anti-oxidant !


something


for


real


happened !


“ The uniform theme we find from these papers is that, when you look carefully, in a quantitative way, you see numerous biological impacts of low doses of radiation. Not just  [ed.  a lower]  abundance of animals, but tumors, cataracts, growth suppression ”