so
cold
so
very
very
cold
nothing
will
ever
warm
me
again
well
it's
all
an
un
holy
mess
i
dont
know
any
couple
that
is
“happy”
together
it
doesn't
work
like
that
my
body
seems
to
have
a
will
of
it's
own
or
is
that
my
brain?
whatever
it
is
it
overides
my
desire
to
cease
and
that
is
almost
over
whelming
but
not
enough
it
seems
what
we
share
transcends
sex
it
always
has
and
always
will
a
lake
of
gold
pools
on
the
ground
around
my
golden
elm
tree
with
sunrise
and
sets
also
of
gold
who
is
as
rich
as
me
blood
red
lady
stands
and
weeps
her
golden
protector
drapes
his
cloak
over
her
standing
naked
and
helpless
against
the
wind
our
love
is
two
dimensional
hormones
return
me
to
the
land
of
the
living
leaving
my
poetry
for
dead
autumn
dark
falls
swiftly
like
a
blanket
across
the
garden
ancient
answers
just
glimpsed
i
loved
you
almost
straight
away
i
recognised
so
much
of
you
i'm
so
weird
about
men
she's
so
right
about
that
my
best
friend's
mother
a
large
bird
spirals
upward
calling
as
if
in
lament
a
slice
of
moon
traversed
the
window
pane
the
fields
and
lanes
all
quilted
with
snow
you
were
so
close
and
smelt
so
good
i
knew
i
wouldn't
behave
myself
i'm
actually
doing
is
setting
you
free
but
you
no
longer
hear
me
you
cannot
say
she
is
this
or
she
is
that
we
are
more
she's
so
damaged
she's
perfect
infinity
so
glorious
outside
my
dining
room
window
smeared
with
flies
life
is
hard
enough
without
love
do
i
have
to
make
a
huge
mistake
to
discover
that's
what
it
is
?
or
is
it
infinity
showing
me
the
way
to
act
or
stop
still
which
will
hurt
more
they have an exhibition on at the mo of historic photos of around devonport
and some signs up on buildings showing then and now pics with some blurb
apparently one of the signs had some comments by a renovator saying they hadn't been able to get a good job
done by builders that had done a botch job on the bathroom
no names mentioned but the sign got graffitied
the owner rang the gallery
she had to ring the cops
then the person who did the graffiti phoned the gallery confessing and crying
said it was her husband who was the renovator
and she didn't want anyone doing the buildings tour to see the comments on the poster
all rather weird the woman was blubbering on about all sorts of details re the renovators etc
alex said she felt like she was in a soap opera
the
mind
numbingness
of
continual
tedious
routine
if
you
defer
a
task
it
plays
on
the
mind
and
assumes
gigantic
proportions
it
doesn't
matter
how
intelligent
you
are
it
doesn't
save
you
i
want
to
extract
you
out
of
my
head
but
i
haven't
got
the
tool
when
you're
a
mother
you're
living
several
lives
obsession
with
woman
makes
monkey
out
of
man
old
lonely
cold
only
what
to
do
prisoner
of
myself
and
you
i
want
to
take
a
vow
of
silence
though
a
voice
screams
in
my
head
so
i
give
up
talking
to
myself
and
take
unto
my
bed
depression
so
thick
it
settles
like
snow
blotting
out
all
sound
i
go
into
it
cloaked
in
silence
what
depth
of
character
can
a
teen
possess
so
unformed
babies
still
all
you
will
see
is your reflection
and
the
dirt
underneath
long
tailed
critter
scrambling
madly
in
my
walls
up
to
the
roof
hot
liquid
sun
sets
we
meld
with
doc
martins
curled
around
my
feet
and
lava
rocks
hung
low
metallicus
flows
in
my
seat
my
neck
it
smells
of
rose
can soon turn into hell
a
glare
is
a
kin
to
a
blow
interesting
people
can
still
be
dreary
promise
is
a
nonsense
word
like
normal
truth
or
black and white
so
don't
believe
a
promise
given
tis
only
the
giver
seeking
to
be
shriven
there
is
no
winning
only
living
then
death
orange
breakers
across
my
eastern
sky
orange
breakers
roll
across
eastern
skys
does
he
see
the
leaving
in
my
eyes
hear
it
in
my
voice
would
he
care
if
i
just
disappeared
do
we
either
have
much
choise
going away
taking that train
walking out in the rain
I've said my goodbyes
cried tears told lies
if i don't leave you now
only heavans knows how...
i
need
to
get
back
to
my
garden
of
eden
i
walked
out
with
a
devil
who
lead
me
astray
you
look
up
at
the
stars
why
wallow
in
the
mire
?
obsessions
render
you
less
of
a
person
more
of
a
robot
what
is
it
like
to
hold
infinity
in
embrace
to
splay
open
wide
your
mind
offering
it
up
a
sacrifice
have
it
obliterated
by
a
setting
sun
almost makes it worth being alive sights like that, u can forget urself and everything else
i think u stop existing in moments like those
no thoughts just nothing
well not nothing u almost meld with infinity somehow
ocean
i
want
to
walk
on
you
orange
sun
sets
grey
mist
rises
green
hills
darken
to
black
the
sound
of
the
waves
a
sigh
across
the
sand
the
love
of
your
life
often
isn't
the
one
you
marry
the
wheat
field
ripples
in
waves
a
golden
ocean
romances
are
so
fragile
with
no
real
devotion
we
see
the
facts
as
if
through
glass
and
not
a
prism
the
tumble
of
ancient
weathered
boulders
washed
by
rain
look
as
fresh
as
if
they
had
just
heaved
out
of
the
earths
crust
each
curling
wave
a
shimmering
cave
the
sun
cast
shadows
like
nets
across
dry
land
any
kind
of
talent
has
charisma
of
it's
own
sometimes
the
sheer
monotony
of
merely
drawing
breath
is
breath
taking
all
men
make
promises
and
noises
to
women
but
often
do
very
little
but
that